Saturday, January 15, 2011

Supernatural - 6.03 - The Third Man - Recap

Preface - Written over the winter hiatus so the secret about Sam has already been revealed. I am a wuss about all things gross so I have been dreading this recap. Plus, this episode bores me, I hate angel plot lines, and all the characters become douches. Yes, even the main ones. Needless to say, skip this recap if you're a fan. However, there is bright light in the future because next time I get to recap Weekend at Bobby's and I love me some Bobby!

Previously - Sam's alive and hunting, Dean's ticked about the year absence, Dean's torn between Lisa/Ben and hunting, Lisa was super awesome, The IMPALA'S BACK!!!!, Raphael waited in a holy circle, Cas was awesome, Raphael needs inflection, the Apocalypse finally ended, and Cas went to heaven - Phew! That's a lot. The important thing is that Metallicar is back and beautiful as ever. Glass explodes.

In the precinct of all things gross, I shut my eyes. I saw this scene once and you can't make me watch it again. Two cops get ready when one starts bleeding as his face comes off in huge chunks. The other guy wants to get going. I really wish they did. Bloody Cop explodes into gushy entrails and blood spatter and I want to hurl. The other cop is not near freaked out enough as his partner goes from normal body to pile of ick in seconds. I freak out more than him and I've already seen this episode 3 times.

Things turn pleasant as Lisa wakes Dean up. On first viewing I thought they really were going to merge both worlds, but alas big trucks wake Dean from his dream. In a montage, we see Sam work out while Dean stretches. Fans from both sides squee at half-naked Jensen AND Jared and it's only 4 minutes in. Sam's female companion interrupts the workout to compliment their earlier workout and almost forgets to get paid. Aww, Sam, what about in Sin City when you said you didn't pay.

 Apparently, the prostitute was happy because she offers to see Sam again on her night off - she likes the silent, mysterious, well-built type. Sam's not interested and throws her number away.  Dean calls Sam from the road but instead of meeting at Grandpa Creepy's (avoiding the CSA sounds good to me), Sam tells Dean to meet him in Easter, PA. So they are meeting in Easter and we have the return of the angels - great! I thought we dumped the religious overtones along with the angel-heavy plot. URGH!!! Dean wonders about the new case, but Sam "likes to work". And work out apparently. Sam tells Dean to get there. Dean: "Who died and made you boss?" Kind of like the role reversal since Dean tends to be more bossy than Sam.

In my favorite scene, an older cop sits at a speed trap drinking alcohol-laced soda. A car comes racing by at 70 mph. Cop: "Oh, you can do better than that." Bwah! Wish cops around here had the same attitude. Good scene over as the cop gets a call. He tells the person not to freak and hangs up. "Idiot." I like this guy. Too bad he's cannon fodder. Boils explode over his body and I try to type without seeing it. Bye funny cop guy. I enjoyed your 2 minutes.

At cop headquarters Dean's talking on the phone. "Ben, I know you're lying…Because I lie professionally. That's how. Now tell your mom you broke the damn thing and take it like a man." I like parental Dean. Basically he says I lie all the time so stop lying. Sam finds it funny too. "Wow…you, molding the minds of tomorrow." Sam asks about Lisa's reaction and Dean says "shockingly cool" which Sam and I think is a good thing. Dean takes a shot at Sam's Soulless Sedan - verbally unfortunately. Sam cites better gas mileage. Very true, very smart, and very, very sad, Sam. Sam exposits about the "mop job". Dean wants to know why they are in the morgue and I get another look at Boils Cop. Thanks folks! Dean cries witches but Sam can't find evidence to that effect. Dean: "Can I get a witness?" -again with the religious references - and we head to Not Near Freaked Out Enough Cop's house. Like Sam said, "He saw his partner go from a solid to a liquid." Once I stop dry heaving, I'll laugh at that.

At Not Freaked Out's house, Metallicar wins the race Sam didn't know they were in when Dean squeals the tires and pulls out ahead. Not sure that entrance screams Feds, Dean. The cop answers the door - "Looking sharp Kojack" - but says not to worry and shuts the door. I'm just as startled as Dean when Sam breaks the door open with his broad a neighborhood. "Dude" Great reaction from Dean. Not Freaked Out is sufficiently freaky now, scratching out the faces on family pictures. Dean questions him, and he exposits about a dead kid and a planted gun. Freaky Cop thinks God's punishing them. This whole interrogation is bizarre because Dean is the sympathetic one while Sam is "facts by any means necessary". This was when I knew for certain something was vastly wrong with Sam beyond Post-Hell Syndrome. He was too different. Freaky Cop starts bleeding from the head and then dies. Good reactions. Dean's weirded out and Sam's annoyed. Aww man, locusts in the brain. First, yuck. Second, my head itches every time I watch this.

Back at the hotel, Sam exposits Egyptian plagues "Yeah, but these guys ate their way out of a cop's melon. I don't quite remember that in the King James." They exposit dirty cops and wonder what the angels are up to. I don't wonder; I want them to leave it alone. Can't we just forget about the angels. Dean says no as he prays to Castiel in the most BWAH-worthy way. Sam says it won't work. "You're an idiot." Dean: "Stay positive." Sam: "Oh, I am positive." I might think Sam's off but he's definitely funny. I kind of like this Sam. Dean exposits the plague and Cas appears, infuriating Sam. Sam confronts about Cas on coming for Dean and not him. Sam: "So what? You like him better or something?" Cas: "Dean and I do share a more profound bond. I wasn't going to mention it." I eye roll as Destiel fans the world over make a bigger deal out of that statement than it warrants. Castiel has no answers about why Sam is back and gets tired of questions. "What part of I don't know escapes your understanding?" Dean tries to lay down ground rules but Cas puts Dean in his place too. "You think I came down because you called?" Bwah! So much for that theory Destiel fans. Cas came for business, not the brothers. The staff of Moses is causing the weird deaths. Dean: "Oh, well, it's nice to know what matters." Cas: "It does help one to focus." Ha!

Sam calls the angels the Halo Patrol. I think of more apt names. Cas exposits Sunday school for those who missed Moses' big debut. "That one made the papers." Sam questions why the destruction is so small and Cas is puzzled. "I think we can rule Moses out as a suspect." May be my favorite line since Cas is so earnest about it. You think, Cas? Dean wants to know why "Chuck Heston's disco stick" is on earth and Cas expounds that their toys were stolen. Noooooo! I don't want the Winchesters involved in an endless pursuit of angel weapons. There is heaven and there is earth. Let no stories ever come between them. "Wait. You're saying your nukes are loose." Cas wants Winchester help, but Sam brats. Cas air quotes, "Sam. Dean. My people skills are rusty. Pardon me, but I have spent the last year as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. But believe me, you do not want that weapon down here. Help me find it or more people will die." They help. But the rest of the episode goes rapidly downhill.

At dead kid's house, his dad, Darrell, is happy cops are dying while his other son, Aaron, tries to reason with him. Cas teleports them directly inside the house but Darrell denies involvement. "You smote them with the staff of Moses." Ha, I'd be questioning their alias too. Aaron interrupts wielding a sawed-off Staff of Moses. I don't know whether to chuckle at the reference or roll my eyes some more. Cas blacks out Darrell and takes the staff from Aaron. Dean goes into parental mode to get answers and I think about him fathering Ben. I miss Domestic Dean already. Aaron prayed for revenge and an angel gave him the staff. Dean calls Aaron on the lie. He bought the staff with his soul. The reactions are awesome in this scene. Cas surmises that the staff was cut in order to sell more pieces of it. He blanks out Aaron and transfers all of them to the hotel.

Dean calls kidnapping but Cas needs space to torture Aaron to find out what angel bought his soul. Dean protests but Sam and Cas think it's a great plan. Time out! What in all Egypt is going on here. Did everyone come back a different person? In no way is torturing kids a good idea, not even for this information. I really dislike this episode. Gory leads to kid torture leads to boring. Ugh! Cas "can't care about" torturing a kid. Dean tries to stop it but Sam stops him. What! Nothing in this scene makes sense. Cas is torturing humans when he gave up everything to protect them. Sam is no longer Empathy Boy and doesn't care who they hurt. Dean, who has just spent an entire year with a child Aaron's age, gives up way too easily in his protest. I hate this scene.

Balthazar, who Cas thought was dead, heads the Soul Store. Dean: "Yeah, well your frat buddy is now moonlighting as a Crossroads Demon." Not sure why this phased me since angels have been worse than demons for 2 years now. Raphael's lackey interrupts and angel sword fighting ensues until they both go out the window, landing on Sam's Soulless Sedan. Best part of the whole episode! Bye, bye good gas mileage; hello beauty on wheels. Dean: "So, silver lining." Could not agree more. Cas pops back in and avoids Sam's questions. Dean demands he stop and exposit. "There are too many angels." I was wrong; it's this statement I REALLY COULD NOT AGREE MORE with. It sums up the whole episode for me. Cas spills about angel civil war and Raphael trying to kick start the Apocalypse again. NO! NO! NO! I can't watch that again. Apparently the Winchesters agree because they look freaked. Cas however needs myrrh and pops back out and in. Cas was ashamed to explain it to the brothers but proceeds to slice Dean open for the spell. I'm tired of angels already. Police sirens sound and Cas says to leave Aaron. "Don't you think the police will take him home?" Why yes Cas I do, but I think those same police will have an active kidnapping case open that leads directly to the brothers. They may have aliases but they haven't wiped down their fingerprints or disguised their faces. If this were at all a point of continuity of this show, it would be a problem. Eyes they are a-rolling again! Perhaps you should take that extra 10 seconds to take him home yourself.

At Balthazar's "Liberace" pad, I nap. They walk; Cas walks; Cas looks around. There's a frog. Disco fever is in full swing and Balthazar appears. Raphael's lackey coughs up a frog and Balthazar exposits the good life, ex-angel soldier style. I like his "me-first" attitude. It reminds me of Crowley, but not as much fun. Cas lectures; Balthy doesn't care. He's on Castiel's side but he won't help. He blah blahs about how his freedom is based on Cas' rebellion. I'm bored. "You proved to me that we could do anything, so I'm trying everything." Ok, that was a good line. Balthazar says there will always be fighting in heaven; I say enough with angels. I don't care. Raphael returns and I care even less. "Tell Raphael to bite me." Balthy out.

Dean and Sam return to the episode - nice to see you again - and I wake up, briefly. Sam distracts a lackey and Dean angel sigil's him out. Nice teamwork! Castiel kills Raphael's minion and Raphael beats up Cas. Take it to heaven boys. This is our planet. Balthy saves Castiel right before Raphael kills him. "Look at my junk." Got to say , I never saw death by turning into salt in the cards. Cool effects! Now Raphael has to find another vessel. "Iodize the poor sucker and your kitchen is stocked for life." This may put me off salt. Balthy plans to run, but Dean has other plans. They holy fire him. Dean demands Aaron's soul back and Sam comes in with more oil. "Unless you like your wings extra crispy." Good one! Cas sides with the Winchesters. "I believe the hairless ape has the floor." Bwah! This episode does have good lines. Balthy does tai chi to release the soul, but Dean has more questions. "Do you have any idea what souls are worth? What power they hold?" No, we don't, but we've got another plotline here. Yippee skippee - I'm overjoyed with the thought of more angels. Cas releases Balthy over Dean's objections, telling Balthy they are even.

In the Impala, Sam needs trunk space. Ben is going to be a wendigo for Halloween, which implies that Dean will go back. In another "over the Impala" chat, Dean asks the million dollar question. "So, uh, are you ok?" Sam doesn't understand why he's asking. Dean calls Sam on his response to "Cas giving the holy taser treatment to that kid." Sam says it's hunting for a year; Dean and everyone on the planet think Sam is hiding things. Sam says hell affected Dean but that he is okay with it. No one buys this, but Sam ends the conversation by getting into the Impala. We end with a preview of several upcoming episodes. We've got vampires, and betrayal, and sometimes truth-telling. Oh my.

Overall, I found this episode slow. I don't like pulling the angels back in either. However, it is hardly the worst episode in Supernatural's history. Racist killer truck, anyone? InstaDawn making bugs flee? It is however the bottom of my list this season for now. Thankfully, even a meh episode on Supernatural is a thousand times better than most of the stuff on TV these days. That's just how good this show is.

[UPDATE] - I have since had a chance to rewatch many Supernatural episodes and feel certain I can say that The Third Man is on equal footing of suckage as Route 666. While nothing can touch Bugs still in terms of sheer ludicrousness or overall terribleness (even Route 666 had some humor), The Third Man leads the way in sheer boredom and bad pacing. I walk, he walks, they walk, ugh! Let's just say this episode does not get better by rewatching. In fact, it may be the first Supernatural episode that if I see in reruns, I will change the channel. (For full foreclosure, I turn the TV off when Bugs comes on and only watch the funny lines while multitasking in Route 666.)

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