Monday, April 25, 2016

Last Week in TV - Week of April 17 - Reviews and Episode Awards





Hello and welcome back to Last Week in TV. I've hit my busiest time at work so I will be cheating a bit for the next 3 weeks. In this case I have mainly forgone reviews and stuck to episode awards, especially for those shows that air later in the week. Plus there's no episode of the week although the best thing I saw was the pilot of Killjoys. I used it for the nominated episode instead of 1.07 because I didn't have time to marathon it and I wanted to watch it in order. If you nominated episode 7, I will review it in May. Thanks for the nomination because this show is great! Next time the nominated episode is from The Originals, a show I believe I have only seen once when it was nominated in a previous year. If you would like to nominate an episode, just fill in the short 2-question form below. All nominations are selected by a random number generator. Stay tuned in the upcoming weeks for some special editions of Last Week in TV and opportunities for you to review if you're interested. Until then, don't forget to leave your own episode awards in the comments section and happy TV viewing.







Nominated Episode



Killjoys - 1.01 - Pilot

That was awesome! I've been looking a long time for TV brothers to match the Winchesters for me. D'Avin and John aren't quite at that level but there are so many similarities. D'Avin is the Dean. He's the fighter with a deep distrust of people in general. He's world weary and world wise. John is the Sam. He trusts more easily, gets along better socially, and has the smarts to back himself up. He prefers to talk his way out of trouble but can hold his own in a fight. Joining the brothers is the kick butt warrior Dutch, who has a checkered past of her own which will likely inform a large part of the mytharc. She's the leader of their merry band and my favorite character so far. The story takes place in a dystopia in outer space. Dutch and John are intergalactic bounty hunters, when John sees a kill order on his brother. The pilot is all about finding and rescuing D'Avin, who broke from the family years before. John hasn't forgiven him for disappearing but the brothers still have each other's backs. Meanwhile, it sets up the seeds of revolution as well. The quad (4 planets the bounty hunters patrol) is controlled by a mining company who keeps the people basically enslaved through martial law. I don't know how the rest of the season will play out, but this pilot nailed the pacing particularly well and found a delicate balance between action and exposition, plot and character, and procedural and mytharc. I find myself wanting to get to know both the characters and the universe they play in better.

Grade: A-
Ranking: 5
Audience: people who love sci-fi, dystopia, kick butt females, and bromance

Best Reason to Watch - the pacing, the characters, the world building - take your pick
Best Scene - Dutch kicks guard butt
Best Action - brothers fight in the ring
Best Back Story - John tried to steal Dutch's ship
Best Twist - the bounty is on John's brother
Worst Job Consequences - if you screw up, they kill you instead
Most Creepy - bomb spiders
Most Kick Butt - Dutch
Most Handy - the gun turns into a nail gun by switching the clip
Biggest Eww - people putting hooks in their bodies for money
Biggest What the Heck - Dutch was trained to kill from childhood
My Prediction - D'Avin was targeted for death for what happened in his platoon AND he'll end up entangled with the Resistance at some point if he's not already knee deep in it
The "Welcome Back" Award - Aaron Ashmore from Smallville and Warehouse 13 / Luke Macfarlane from The Night Shift

Best Quotes -
1. D'Avin: "Hey, little brother, little gun." John: "That's not a thing." D'Avin: "It is now."
2. Dutch: "Did he just block me?" Lucy: "Affirmative." Dutch: "Oh hell no. Lucy override that. Let me know when you reconnect his com. Tell him I'm coming to kick his a**." Lucy: "Understood. A**-kicking imminent."
3. John: "You were right earlier. I don't know who my brother is anymore, Dutch. I can't be sure he didn't earn that kill order." Dutch: "Doesn't matter. You have to protect him. He's family." John: "So are you."
4. John: "You got a point you want to make?" D'Avin: "I've seen her fight, Johnny. Someone obviously put a lot of time and money into training her. Don't you want to know who or why?" John: "Nope, don't care so why do you?" D'Avin: "You're my little brother and I don't trust your partner." John: "I don't need you to." D'Avin: "Look, Johnny, I'm not trying to be a jerk. It's just a fact. A team like yours, you can't have secrets from each other. Your lives are in each other's hands. Her enemies become your enemies, so I'm asking you. How well do you really know her?" John: "These days, better than I know you."
5. D'Avin: "Blessing the damn garden. Man, rich people are annoying on every planet."
6. D'Avin: "Hey Johnny, sorry I've been a cr** brother these last years. I've had a lot of stuff on my plate. None of that's on you."



Guest Reviews



12 Monkeys - 2.01 - Year of the Monkey
BY BlueStar 

Season 2 starts off with a storybook recap, a chase, and an explosion. We return to Cole and Ramse months after the Season 1 finale, and Cassie and the other future characters four days after she arrives. Cole and Ramse are on the run from Olivia’s crew who are trying to “correct” the change in fate Cole made when he chose to save Ramse, while Jones, Cassie, and Deacon (for his own personal agenda) team up against the twelve messengers to take back control of the time machine. And finally, we find out Jennifer’s role in the virus’ release.

Grade: B

Best Reason To Watch – Cole and Ramse’s friendship is back, and they’re working together despite their differing opinions on whether to save the past or future
Best Action – The Budapest faceoff with Olivia’s crew at the start of the episode and the messengers lose the future fight
Best Storytelling – The recap at the start of the episode was very original. I loved it. It was definitely one of the highlights of the episode.
Best Music – “Time Is On My Side” by Kai Winding
Funniest Cameo - Q from Impractical Jokers as Dale
Most Gruesome - Jones sending only a part of the first messenger to the past
Most Hilarious – Olivia still thinks that what The Witness sees is set in stone despite Cole being able to overcome so called fate several times.
The New Alice – Jennifer, who I don’t always like watching, but is certainly interesting to say the least. The White Rabbit song definitely fits her.
Worst Change – Cassie, who I couldn’t have cared less about in this episode. I really hope the future episodes will warm me up to this new version of her because so far I’m not a fan.

Best Quotes:
1. Cole: “Why are you telling me this?” Ramse: “I don’t know. Part of me feels like it’s not going to make a difference. You’re going to keep on trying, and you’re going to get yourself killed. I just don’t want it happening on my watch. Are we going to go to New York or what?” Cole: “So I’m on your watch now?” Ramse: “Oh, never left.” Cole: “Except when you stabbed me in ’87.” Ramse: “I did. I got you good.”
2. Cole: “You alright?” Ramse: “That was cutting it close.” Cole: “What are you talking about? My timing was perfect.” Ramse: “They already had their guns drawn.” Cole: “Relax. You’re alive. Such an old man now.”
3. Jennifer: “You’re gonna stop me? Finally, someone’s gonna stop me. Thank you for coming for me. Faith in humanity restored. Faith in myself, not so much. Okay, please do it. Do it. Do it.”
4. Cole: “I once knew a doctor. She pulled a bullet out of me using nothing but a pocket knife and a bottle of Vodka from the mini bar.” Ben: “She wasn’t just your doctor, was she?” Cole: “She made me better.”



Agent of SHIELD - 3.15 - The Team
BY Swanpride 

I am glad that I didn't jot down my prediction for the week last time, because I suspected that not Lincoln but Daisy would end up being infected by Hive and I would have hated to ruin this episode for anyone. It does put me in the odd position, though, that I myself couldn't enjoy this episode as much as I perhaps should have. There are a lot of small touches I loved, like the discussion about the nature of faith, Coulson acknowledging his original sin, and the interactions between all the couples. But I nevertheless kept thinking about the last time the show did the "who can we trust?" story-line and how much better it worked back then. When Hydra fell and Ward turned, there was so much more at stake. Back then, we knew the team and anyone turning would have been a huge shock, but this time around the Inhumans barely did two missions together and never in this exact line-up. The show runners could have compensated for that by spending more time on this mission instead of rushing through it, but instead they pushed the story forward a little bit too fast for my taste. Thus said, of all the characters they could have picked, Daisy is the best choice in my eyes. There is something deeply wrong about her having some forced mind-connection to Hive, who apparently does have the memories and feelings of their previous hosts. But I trust in the writers to be aware of this and make the whole thing as deliciously creepy as it should be.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - Just keep guessing.
Best Scene - The Inhumans working together
Best Character - Lincoln finally managed to take the top spot, though poor Joey comes close.
Best Team-up - Yoyo and Joey are fun to watch.
Best Effects - Lincoln using his abilities like a whip looks very nifty.
Most Missed - All the unnamed agents who were on the plane when it went down. Where other shows have red-shirts, this one has invisible shirts.
Best Action - Daisy taking down the base
Most Romantic - Yoyo learning English while Mack learns Spanish is such a cute Love Actually moment
Most Overdue - Fitzsimmons. Hopefully the relationship will now be in a happy place at least until the end of the season.
Most Random Observation - I wonder if Hive could have been a benevolent, loving being if not for most of the people who have been sacrificed to him having been Hydra members.
My Prediction of the Week - I have the feeling that James will get the powers he craves so much.

Best Quote:
1. Fitz: "No, not fascinating! Quarantine."
2. Malick: "Oh no, Mr. Coulson, it is a god. It is just not ours."
3. Fitz: "Who needs space, because I have something magnificent right here. A picture of space."



Criminal Minds – 11.21 – Devil’s Backbone
BY Emma

Last week was all about the team and family moments but this week is all about the case. I hardly recognized Frances Fisher as Antonia, famed serial killer of runaway teens. She’s almost as intelligent as Reid and as smooth as Rossi. Now if that isn’t a deadly combo, I don’t know what is! Since this is the penultimate episode, I figured it would be all set up with no payoff until the finale airs in two weeks (thanks for that CBS) but the case within a case format ended up being a perfect balance of action and set up. I’ve seen lots of speculation on the identity of Antonia’s child. Mr. Scratch seems to be the most commonly mentioned and I’m not sure if the math works on that but either way, I can’t wait to see how Mama Evil’s long lost child plays into her plans for the BAU in the finale. Truly, the only thing that could’ve made this episode any better would’ve been Matthew Gray Gubler directing. Frances Fisher had plenty of creep factor that I felt wasn’t utilized to the fullest potential, but then again, nobody does creepy like MGG.

Grade: A

Best Reason to Watch – Antonia is the best UnSub the BAU has had in years
Best Scene / Character Interaction – Antonia & Hotch at their second meeting
Best Continuity – Gideon was involved with Antonia’s original case
Most Surprising – Antonia has a kid
Least Surprising – “To Be Continued”
The “That’s Disgusting” Award – having mashed potatoes regurgitated in your hand (seriously, out of all the horrific things I’ve seen UnSubs do on this show in 11 years and this is what made me turn away from the screen??)
The “Welcome Back” Award – Frances Fisher, most recently seen in Resurrection

Best Quotes:
1. Reid: “Why do it? What do you get out of the deal?” Guard: “It’s complicated.” Reid: “I think I can keep up.”
2. Antonia: “Bet you’d love to interview me.” Lewis: “Actually, no. I do want to find out as much as I can about this case but as a research subject, you don’t interest me. No offense.”
3. Reid: “I overheard the arrangement you made with Antonia in German. You promised to tell her the truth after the case was over if she helped us out. Are you going to follow thru?” Lewis: “Hell no. Of all the serial killer types, the ones I find the most dangerous are the hyper-intelligent ones that get off more on the mind games than the killing. They're like vampires, ready to suck your soul dry and file your information away for a rainy day.”



Nashville - 4.16 - Didn’t Expect It to Go Down This Way
BY Jessica VanWinkle

Maddie and Cash are the worst characters in the history of television. I’m done with these two. Cash is so messed up that she thinks it's okay to hide a teenager from her parents and then try to get her emancipated? Maddie thinks she knows more about the music business than her mother (which is hilarious) and wants a record deal. I think Rayna should just give up on Maddie. She’ll completely fall apart and then hopefully realize how horrible she is. Rayna and Deacon should focus on their other child who isn’t completely delusional. This week’s episode also featured another mentally unstable star in Autumn Chase. She continues to try to drive a wedge between Gunnar and Scarlett, and I just don’t understand why. Is this fun for her? Is she so miserable that she wants everyone else to be miserable? Whatever. I just want her to go away. The one part of this episode I did like was Juliette. I loved that she’s joining Luke’s tour which will allow her to spend time with Cadence, but her ultimate goal is to keep Layla away from Avery. This is classic Juliette, and I’m interested to see how this all plays out. I definitely think Layla is going to tell the truth about Jeff’s death soon, and the fallout will be huge.

Grade: C

Best Reason to Watch - Juliette is trying to reconnect with Avery and return to singing.
Best Scene - Luke introduces Juliette as a new addition to his tour. I loved her facial expressions along with Layla and Avery’s.
Most In Need of Psychiatric Help - Cash, Maddie, and Autumn
Character I Wish Would Get Hit By a Bus: Maddie
Best Voice: Luke. I loved his country song! I wish he had a little more screen time.
Character I’m Cheering For: Will. He’s trying to get his life together.



Outlander - 2.01 - Through a Glass, Darkly
BY Swanpride

Before starting this review, I have to mention that I read the books the show is based on. Not only that, I reread the second book of the series just a few weeks ago. I therefore might comment on some of the changes which were made to the storylines, which were frankly an improvement this time around. While the book, just like the show, starts with Claire being back in the present, it didn't start out with the moment right after she came back. Though I think it could have been even more effective if they hadn't shown Claire at the stones, but started with her walking, surprising the audience with the car turning up. Anyway, the process of her coming home, the interaction with Frank, the revelation that she is pregnant, all this is perfectly acted. But what really makes this scene is the cinematography. With all the earthy tones used, the present is welcoming to Claire and kind of homely, but once the show jumps back in the past it does so in an explosion of colours which makes the present (well, Claire's present) look boring. This underlines the feeling of loss which dominates the first half of the episode. The second half is a little bit rushed, mostly because the show has to cover some ground which was explained in a few sentences in the book, but overall the first episode is a promising start in the new season, which should be far from dull.

Grade: A-

Best Reason to Watch - You get two different time-periods for the price of one
Best Scene - Frank discussing Claire's pregnancy with the reverend
Best Character - Considering that the actor played the rapist the last time we saw him, it is impressive how much I care about Frank.
Best Costume - Claire's travelling clothes. Not because I like them, but because their style underlines more than anything else that she is starting into a new life.
Most Sad - Claire having to let Jamie go
Best Music - The title song, this time with a little bit of French thrown in
Worst Effect - The New York Background looks a little bit too fake for my taste
Fastest Success - Jamie goes from a penniless refugee to a man of some stand in a few seconds. Long live nepotism.

Best Quotes -
1. Claire: "There is always another f** war."
2. Murtagh: "That's the purpose, not the reason."
3. Claire: "I have done nothing more than state the truth."
4. Claire: "The cost is nothing compared to letting the disease spread through the city."



Outlander - 2.01 - Not in Scotland Anymore
BY Swanpride

I think this is the kind of episode I would have enjoyed much more if I hadn't read the book. For example, the whole thing about Claire getting rid of her body hair. What is used as comic relief, is actually a thought-provoking moment in the book. For starters, Claire sticks to her legs and arm pits, glad that she can follow a routine she knew from her own time for once, but is irritated by the idea that Louise would go even further. Jamie on the other hand doesn't like the notion of a hairless Claire at all. It is a very clever commentary on how much our perception of beauty is influenced by culture. In addition to this disappointing omission, there are a number of changes which don't even work independent from the book, because they undermine the characters in the show. For example, Jamie has been so far portrayed as a shrewd and careful planner in the show. Now he is as subtle as a brick and goes so far to tell the King of France to eat more porridge. He throws some guy into the water and the next moment they are best friends. This is the result of the show merging different characters together as well as letting Jamie act on thoughts he originally just voiced towards Claire. All this makes for some uneven storytelling, but the show mostly gets away with it by providing an exciting setting and some great dialogue in between.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - Costume porn all around
Best Scene - James talking about Scotland
Best New Character - Alexander Randall, whose introduction is very well handled
Best Costume - Claire's red dress proves that less is often more. Though a certain other dress (which is historically accurate, btw) proves that too much can come off as quite gauche.
Best Casting - MaƮtre Raymond fits his description exactly
Best Prop - The Dildo. Do I have to say more?
Best Music - The Te Deum is always a good pick, even though I can't listen to it anymore without thinking immediately of the German state networks, which have used it as intro-music for years.
Most Random Observation - Shouldn't Claire's pregnancy be a little bit more visible at this point?

Best Quote:
1. Claire: "Fine, I will endeavour to be sloppier in my habits."
2. Murtagh: "I talk of action and you give me logic."
3. Prince Charles: "James, this is why I admire the French. They are so wonderfully vulgar. They never allow their exquisite manners to interfere with their basic instincts."



New Shows



Containment - 1.01 - Pilot

Containment benefits from a strong internal clock that gives it an intensity often lacking in pilots. In some ways, the day countdown adds the same tension as a show like 24. That being said, the pilot does have less action than I expect will be coming given the need to set up ALL the characters and there are a lot of them. They also delve deeply into the source of the outbreak. That one is a wise move in my opinion, at least for those who stick with the show beyond the pilot. While I expect that things are NOT what they seem and that this will turn into a political conspiracy rather quickly, it does mean that we won't spend long conversations guessing at the source of the outbreak in the future, which will only improve the pacing. As will the point when all hell breaks loose, which I suspect happens long before Day 13. Overall, I was impressed by the story set up and all the potential this has to create everyday heroes and villains. My one sticking point is that the story could also turn into a big mess quickly. The production side of this story is known for love triangles, emoangsting, and contrived drama. If they can avoid all three, this could be THE show of the summer for me.

Grade: B
Ranking: 4+
Audience - anyone into dystopia fiction or stories where everyday people are put into extreme situations similar to Under the Dome

Best Reason to Watch - it's already got an urgency that most pilots lack
Best Scene - Alex talks down Xander
Best Bookends - they use the Day 13 footage to open and end the episode, showing just how out of control the situation will get
Biggest Brat - Quentin, who ought to be spanked
Biggest Eye Candy - Jake, who spends most of the episode in a wife beater or tight t-shirt
Most Lucky (Before Outbreak) - Katie, who apparently has a class of 14 kids. What kind of school is that and why aren't I teaching there?
Most Shady - Sabine
The "Welcome Back" Award - Claudia Black from Farscape and Stargate

Best Quotes -
1. Xander: "My girl is in there." Alex: "So is mine. If I let you through that barrier, I'm risking your life and if we let anyone out, we're risking the lives of everyone in this city. I can't be that person. I can't let you be that person. You understand me?"
2. Katie: "Don't ever have kids. Unless you do, in which case, sorry."
3. Katie: "I share custody with his dad's parents. Long story. Tonight's their night." Jake: "You're under lockdown." Katie: "You'd think that would make a difference, huh?"
4. Lex: "I've been doing this job for 12 years. The reason people like me is because I'm fair, I'm honest, and I've got a great jump shot. I don't need access. What I need is the truth and I'm not convinced that's what I'm getting here."
5. Jake: "No Lex, they're not gonna let me out. I had contact with patient zero. I mean it's the freaking zombie apocalypse there in the isolation room. I'm not getting out." Lex: "Jake…" Lex: "Screw you, Lex. Alright, you're the one who sent me in here."



Weekly Shows



The 100 - 3.12 - Demons

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - every single character was less annoying this week than they've been in months and at least Clarke gets called out for genocide (albeit by a crazy person again and Bellamy gets a pass for it AGAIN - ugh!)
Best Scene - funeral
Best Plot Device - None of these guys can be the next Heda because they don't have the right blood. May they never find the right blood and use it as a loop hole.
Best Plan - chipping Emerson
Worst Bait and Switch - You show me Jasper with blood on his head. I expect a dead Jasper. I accept no substitutes.
Most Likely to Make Like a Supertramp Song / Most Missed - Where the heck are the grounders with Kane and Pike? Are you enjoying that lovely spa weekend? Taking lots of great pictures? They could have crawled to Polis by now.
Most Common Sense - Monty, who doesn't want to follow the creepy music
Biggest Jason Factor - There are 10 Skaikru in Arkadia. I actively want 2 of them dead. I'm good with 4 more of them dying. I want 2 to stay alive. Guess who dies? Sinclair, who I like and want alive. I swear Jason keeps killing off the wrong characters. All he's leaving us with are the emoangsty ones and the idiots. Or worse, the emoangsty idiots.
Biggest Gripe - In the lean times, aka season 3A, The 100 really only had a handful of characters and Polis going for it. Now they seem intent on ruining Polis too. Seriously? They're going to turn them all into pod people? Ugh. The grounders are now the best part of the show so of course they'll have to ruin them too.
Biggest What the Heck? - Why in the world would Ontari, the psycho, take the chip from a stranger? She's more of a "kill you first and never ask questions later" kind of girl. This makes no sense. And with one chip, she goes from interesting to robot.
Biggest Hmm(s) - 1. Why is Bellamy giving orders to anyone? Who would still follow him? 2. Why in the world would Emori ever take the chip either after seeing what it does? I need some background here.
The "Poor Baby" Award (non-sarcastic version) - Octavia grieves Lincoln's death
The "Not You Again" Award - Emerson is back. Oh goodie. At least he dies for good this time. I hope.

Best Quotes -
1. Monty: "Following the creepy music is a bad idea."
2. Emerson: "You murdered 381 people. You took the lives of my children, my brother, my friends. Did you really think that I would be happy with just one life in return?"
3. Jasper: "Remember when you told me it gets better." Octavia: "This is not the same thing." Jasper: "You know it's okay to fall apart a little, Octavia. You loved him." Octavia: "A warrior doesn't mourn the dead until the war is over."
4. Murphy: "I'm being serious though. Ontari, she's crazy and that's coming from me."
5. Octavia: "Let's get his book and get the hell out of here." Jasper: "That's a plan I can support."



The Big Bang Theory - 9.21 - The Viewing Party Combustion
~Everything Raj needs to go but I liked how they brought up many of the issues that annoy each other.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - the way the argument broke down into two groups
Best Scene - Batman vs. Manbat
Best Manipulative Plan - Penny gets Sheldon to add things to the roommate agreement that she wants
Biggest Lost Cause - People who want Penny and Sheldon to be a couple. Repeat after me - "They are never, ever, ever hooking up together."
Least Forgotten - at least they invited Stuart this time
Most Annoying - Sheldon, but he's not the only one tonight
Worst Subplot - Raj's dating life…and his entire storyline this season
The "Back Off" Award - for people who were bullied all their life, they sure like to pick on Stuart mercilessly, like they didn't learn anything from their early years

Best Quotes -
1. Sheldon: "Are you up to date on Game of Thrones?" Penny: "Uhn, I think so. Dragons, snow zombies, and all the hot guys are dead."
2. Penny: "I don't always defend Sheldon." Leonard: "Oh yes, you do. You know you have a weird brother-sister, Elliot-ET relationship with him." Penny: "What about your weird relationship with him?" Leonard: "That's different. I'm like the little girl in Poltergeist and he's the creepy thing in the TV."
3. Sheldon: "Interesting fact. In Italian, the morta in mortadella means death." Amy: "Sheldon!" Sheldon: "I didn't say fun fact. I'm not a monster."
4. Bernadette: "Why are you dressed like that?" Stuart: "Oh Howard thought it would be funny to tell me it was a costume party." Bernadette: "That wasn't very nice." Stuart: "No, but he almost died so we're cool."
5. Sheldon: "This is what a generation raised on Bart Simpson looks like."



The Blacklist - 3.19 - Cape May

This is definitely the weirdest episode of TV this season so far and I doubt anything else tops it this year. It also just gives more vague hints than actual answers. Good thing James Spader is such an awesome actor because for an episode short on words, it packed a big emotional punch. Not so much on a pacing standpoint though. This is likely to be one of those episodes that suffers in the rewatch because most of its appeal is in looking for clues that what you think is happening (the woman isn't really there) is correct. Once you know for sure, the bloom is off.

Grade: B+ on acting alone

Best Reason to Watch - It's odd and therefore a nice shake up of regular things. I think this is the first time there was no bad guy to catch.
Best Scene - Red talks about how suicide is an act of terrorism
Best Dichotomy - the grandma helping Reddington out of the modern day opium den
Best Acting - James Spader, who goes the first 10 minutes barely saying a word but who projects Red's sadness and pain so well
Worst Plan - going after an assassin with a hatchet
Least Surprising - there was no woman
Least Enviable - the doctor who has to explain to Red why Liz died
Most Like MacGyver - Red and the women for rigging their own, more deadly version of Home Alone
Most Likely to be an Opiate-Inspired Dream - the entire episode
Most Suspicious - Red buys the guy's cab with a bag full of cash
Biggest Eww - the sink of blood
Biggest Hmm - Why is the flag hanging upside down?
The "Hindsight's 20/20" Award - you probably should have brought the gun, Red

Best Quotes -
1. Red: "You could tell where Safar was standing when the vest blew. It was like a perfect circle of death. There was almost nothing left of the people closest to him - seventeen dead, 46 injured - blown to pieces. The closer they were to the bomber, the more horrific the effect." Woman: "Stop." Red: "That's every suicide, every single one. An act of terror perpetrated against everyone who's ever known you, everyone who's ever loved you. The people closest to you, the ones who cherish you, are the ones who suffer the most pain, the most damage. Why would you do that? Why would you do that to people who love you?" Woman: "I have no choice." Red: "There's always a choice."
2. Red: "She'll need protection." Tom: "Only if you're in her life. Go. Stay away. I won't let you make the same mistake with her that you made with Liz."
3. Red: "I would give anything to be a part of that child's life but a man made it clear I would never see her, hold her, watch her grow and I knew in that moment I would never be any part of that beautiful little girl's life because…" Woman: "He was her father." Red: "And to harm him would be to harm her, a mortal sin. Her mother is gone. The father is what she has left in the world."
4. Woman: "You had no choice. It was either me or Masha." Red: "I'm sorry." Woman: "Raymond, you did save me…through her. It was the only way. You chose well."
5. Red (holding a mangled kite): "I found the intruder. He put up a fight. I had no choice but to kill him."



The Catch - 1.05 - The Laragan Gambit

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - There's a new villain in the midst and quite frankly Ellis seems more threatening than the Benefactor at this point. Maybe it's bad Teen Wolf flashbacks.
Best Scene - Val lays it on the line with Dao
Best Played - Alice for playing through Dao's bug and Val for using it to their advantage
Most Evil - Ellis
Biggest Right to be Mad - Val
Biggest Question - Is Alice now playing Ben or is she really falling for him again?
Biggest What the Heck? - A gun battle goes off at a diplomat's party and the place doesn't immediately go on lockdown? Hmm.
Biggest Pet Peeve - these guys are stealing from people's safes and NOT wearing gloves - argh!
Biggest Creeper - Ben, who breaks into Alice's house and restores the painting
The "That's NOT How I Remember It" Award - I'm fairly sure that when I first heard of the "dine and dash" scheme, it didn't include breaking into hotel rooms
The "Welcome Back" Award - Erica Gimpel from Fame and Veronica Mars

Best Quotes -
1. Ben: "She'll have to help." Felicity: "But I'm a killer, not a thief." Margot: "Oh, nobody's perfect."
2. Alice: "I brought apology coffee but only because it's too early for apology bourbon."
3. Ben: "Are there any legitimate guests at this party?" Felicity: "Who are these people?" Ben: "The competition." Margot: "Is every crime syndicate in town after this bracelet?"
4. Dao: "Truth?" Val: "Sure, let's go with that."
5. Felicity: "Where's the honor among thieves?" Margot: "Historically there isn't any."



Crowded - 1.07/1.08 - The Fixer / Given to Fly
~How did this show get so many amazing guest stars? This was an awesome trip down female comic road. Lily Tomlin ought to skip The Detour and book on here. She'd fit right in.

Grade: B+ / A-

Best Reason to Watch - guest stars, who had me rolling with laughter
Best Scene - Mike and Bob meet Fake Linda
Best Meta - Gwen brings up Cleveland
Best Twist - the rebel is the mother not the daughter
Best Reference - Nancy Drew, but NOT Shea's fanfic soft porn version of Nancy Drew
Worst Plan (in a murdered and dissected in the basement way) - Announcing you're family to someone and entering their house when you know nothing about them. That's just braindead, Martina.
Biggest Aww Moment - Mike falls asleep on Sandy's shoulder
Biggest Laugh - Mike and Bob on air
Biggest Huh? - What exactly was the ending with Mike's mom listening to the voice mail about? Was I supposed to recognize her back? Was it foreshadowing? Was it a random way to fill up the last 30 seconds?
Biggest Transformation - Gwen
Least Surprising - Linda is not Mike's mom
Most Likely to Tell It Like It Is - Alice
Most Likely to Make it as a Reality TV Star - Bob, who is just crass and bigoted on air as many of them
Oddest Reference - Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston
The "Welcome Back" Award - Betty White from Golden Girls and Hot in Cleveland / Jane Leeves from Fraiser and Hot in Cleveland / Sterling Knight from Melissa & Joey / Carol Kane from The Princess Bride ("I'm not a witch; I'm your wife.") and Gotham

Best Quotes -
1. Martina: "You can be angry at someone and still miss them." Mike: "Like Mel Gibson. I'm angry at him but I kind of miss his movies, you know. He would have been great in Taken. You know what Liam Neeson's taking - Mel Gibson's parts."
2. Linda: "I'm your fake ex-wife and am I crazy or do we still have some chemistry?" Bob: "You're crazy."
3. Gwen: "I always thought I'd put you in a home. Turns out it's this one."
4. Martina: "And you, Google accents and do what they say, and then Goggle real problems and pay attention."
5. Linda: "You know I looked a lot like you when I was a girl." Stella: "You did? What happened?" Linda: "Oh lots of drinking, partying, and sleeping around." Stella: "I'm gonna need a minute. I didn't think today was going to be my wake-up call."



Elementary - 4.21 - Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing

This was a fairly typical episode of Elementary, interspersed with the big mytharc of season 4B - the mole in Morland's office. Anyone NOT think he was going to die? Didn't think so. Now we have 2 episodes to either get Morland arrested or to exonerate him. Chances are it will be both. I really need Morland to not be evil, so here's hoping something else is going on. I have a feeling that the next two episodes will be a lot more exciting and emoangsty than this one, which was more meh.

Grade: C+

Best Reason to Watch - I'm betting the last 30 seconds set up the last 2 episodes of the season
Best ProtƩgƩ - Sherlock looks pleased when Bell explains why he thinks the crime was staged
Best Reaction - Joan to the cat
Best Return - Morland
Worst Plan - Joan keeping the mole a secret from Sherlock. Secrets never help.
Biggest What the Heck? - Ginseng can fetch $20 million? Who knew?
Least Surprising - the mole is dead
The "Welcome Back" Award - Eugene
Best Quote - Sherlock: "Good morning, detective." Bell: "I can think of 2 guys who would disagree."



The Flash - 2.18 - Versus Zoom

You know what happens when noble and braindead hook up? They give birth to this episode. Who in their right mind thought that increasing Barry's speed was a good enough reason to open a portal to a mass murdering psycho? That's like buying a new gun and inviting the Supermax inmates to your house for a party. A Gibbs' smack and Hermione scold to everyone. Sometimes young'uns need a good dose of reality shoved in their face. Like: 1. You are not the smartest person in the universe. You don't know everything. 2. What can go wrong often does. 3. Cocky leads to disaster. 4. Listen to your elders. If they had kept any of this in mind, earth would be safe. For once, this episode could have used some Oliver. His grumpiness and generally pessimistic attitude is just what this party needed. And a dash of common sense. However, this is Barry and the things that make up the fatal flaw of this episode are the same things that make me actually like Barry unlike almost every other superhero character. He is optimistic and sincere and loyal and an all-around good guy and a big damn hero. I couldn't expect less from him but man do I wish the anvil of common sense had fallen on his head and left him concussed early in this episode. My brain would have been the better for it.

Grade: C+

Best Reason to Watch - Jay is more fun as evil…
Biggest Ugh - ….but don't worry. It looks like he's headed for a redemption arc too. Because serial killers and sociopaths are turned into good guys by the power of love. All. The. Time.
Best Reason to Fast Forward - all the emoangsting and relationship annoyance
Best Character Interaction - In all honesty, this would have been a sure shot for Cisco and Barry except that I was irked when Barry changed Cisco's mind and continued with their dumbest plan yet. Therefore this award goes to Barry and Joe talking about Wally.
Best Reference - Patch Adams
Worst Plan - this whole episode (for the record, I wrote this award at about the 8 minute mark when no one listened to reason, aka Wells, about what a dumb idea opening the breaches would be. I never once wavered on this award from that point until the end.)
Biggest Eye Roll - Iris says they won't let Zoom hurt anyone again. Okay, yeah. Because you guys did such a bang up job controlling him before.
Biggest Awww Moment - Wally calls Joe "dad"
Least Needed - the tragic Zoom back story making an unnecessary parallel to Barry's childhood
The "I'm with Wells" Award - The man makes a great point. They don't know what will happen if they open the breaches again. They don't know what more evil they might bring to our world. It's the hubris of youth to think that they will always win.

Best Quotes -
1. Common Sense…er, Wells: "I have an idea, Allen. Let's keep the breaches closed. Forever. Forget about the breaches. Forget about Zoom." Barry: "Wait. I'm sorry. I thought that you were on board with this." Wells: "Nope, nope, I said that I would help you get faster. I did not say I would help you give the man who kidnapped my daughter and tortured her a chance to do it again." Iris: "Hey, we are not gonna let that happen." Wells: "Oh, you're not gonna let that happen. Gosh, I wish I'd known that the first time."
2. Cisco: "Well the best plan we've come up with so far is to set off a nuclear warhead next to the city's electrical grid…so…" Barry: "We're not going to do that."
3. Barry: "You were there with me when I learned how to run on water, when I ran up a building, or traveled through time. Just like I'm gonna be there every step of the way with you. You've got something that Reverb never had and that's Kaitlin and Joe and Iris and Wells and me. Friends. We're gonna look out for you…and we're more than just friends. We're your family."
4. Cisco: "Just like Reverb. All I'm missing is the guy liner and the transformation's complete."
5. Joe: "How do you use this?" Wells: "Okay. So you aim it and then you pull the trigger." Joe: "Smart a**."



The Goldbergs - 3.21 - Rush

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - both the A and B plot were well balanced and interesting
Best Scene - the girls rock out
Best Character - Pops
Best Nostalgia - all the 80's music fads
Best Plan - Pops is right. Saying Erica can't see Johnny means more Johnny on my screen. Nice job, Murray. Now we both pay.
Worst Plan - a boyfriend intervention
Worst Life Choice - Erica hooking up with Johnny Atkins
Biggest Rip Off - If we're getting an episode of Rush, I demand to get an episode of The Cure too. Or even Debbie Gibson. No more NKotB though. One episode of them was plenty.
Most Honest - all parents do have favorites, it's just that they tend to change by the year or the day or sometimes even the minute
Most Overboard - Adam's party
Most Obnoxious - Johnny
Most Desperate - Geoff, in a way that is just pathetic
Lamest Cover Story - the guitarist is arrested for selling fudge…yeah
Oldest Debate - whether pop music sucks in each decade

Best Quotes -
1. Cogan: "Your hair suggests you don't know what you're doing with your life."
2. Murray: "Just because you broke up with the guy doesn't mean you gotta break up with the band."
3. Barry: "See that. Adam's photo's twice the size of ours." Beverly: "This is a misunderstanding. The photo guy made it the wrong size and I couldn't return it." Barry: "Please. I've seen you return a dead goldfish, used Chapstick, and a bathing suit Dad wore for 10 straight days in Puerto Rico."
4. Beverly: "I just can't live with the idea that you think I love Adam more than you." Barry: "No, Adam's your baby. Always will be and man, I am more than okay with that."
5. Barry: "You've got to take mom back." Adam: "Never. From this point on you're gonna be her delicious snuggle monster and I'm gonna be left all alone." Barry: "Don't you dare say that." Adam: "And this isn't just for this week. This will stretch months, years, decades, until she moves in with you." Barry: "How can you be so cruel?" Adam: "This is what you asked for, pal. You brought mom's love on yourself."



Heartbeat - 1.05 - The Land of Normal

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - flashbacks about Lou
Best Scene - Alex saves Sal's life and gets arrested for it
Best Character - Ji-Sung and her most awesome snark
Best Save - Pierce distracts the nurse so Alex can perform the surgery
Best Back Story - Lou / Millicent's son Benny
Best Take Your Child to Work Day - Gabriel learns firsthand what it's like to be a surgeon
Best Reaction - everyone to Millicent being so deliriously happy
Best Continuity - the quote Alex used earlier about the land of normal is actually what her sister said to her
Worst Reason to Operate - because it's the anniversary of your sister's death
Biggest Karma - Alex was rude to the nurse who she needs now
Biggest Sexist - Dwayne, who thinks a woman can't operate a robot
Most Interesting Training - using a robot to perform an autopsy to get better at the robot
Most Annoying - Alex tonight because every parent thinks their child is perfect, which gets in the way of their child being better. Most times the biggest problem kids have is their parents.
Coolest Technology - remote surgery by robot
The "Verdict's Still Out" Award - So is Wyatt a cool hunk or a scary stalker? Time is yet to tell.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Sara Paxton, most recently on Code Black

Best Quotes -
1. Alex: "It's so unfair you know me so well." Lou: "Well it was either specialize in you or become addicted to soap operas. I made a choice."
2. Alex: "What's the matter with your arm?" Dwayne: "Oh just a mild strain from the effort of not wringing your neck."
3. Callahan: "Would you like to have breakfast with a surgical god?" Ji-Sung: "I didn't hear anything on the news about hell freezing over, so no."
4. Callahan: "Did you just eat a pot cookie?" Alex: "She's getting laid." Millicent: "What?" Robot: "You go girl." Millicent: "No I'm not. I'll call you back. How could you…um, how could you tell something like that anyway?" Alex: "Figuring out who's having sex is one of my superpowers." Ji-Sung: "Not as cool as being invisible."
5. Gabriel: "Is she a doctor?" Alex: "Worse, the OR supervisor. She controls who gets into every surgical suite. You don't get that job unless you make grown men weep."
6. Gabriel: "The kids in my class say I'm weird." Alex: "Well then weird can be your superpower."



Hunters - 1.02 - Messages

This show is going to be long on questions and short on answers. I can feel it. However the mytharc is definitely engrossing. Regan is revealed to be an alien, no shocker, but for some reason (I like to call it plot device), she cannot remember anything about her past and I don't think that info is coming anytime soon. I do like that Flynn knows about Regan though. It might be a strain on their partnership but it also means that the secret doesn't become its own plot device. Also, I expect that Flynn will end up trusting Regan sooner rather than later. The bigger question is who the mole is. Since it is definitely NOT Regan and the shows seems to be pushing either Briggs or Jackson, I'm going with Jules over Finnerman. Maybe it's just because I find Jules a tad creepy though. He takes glee in the creepiest of things.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - the mytharc
Best Save - Regan with Flynn
Best Plan - Flynn only pretends to come without the unit
Best Twist - the music has an actual purpose to the storytelling
Best Party Trick - McCarthy hangs himself but he doesn't die
Biggest Eww - whatever McCarthy is pulling out of the back of Flynn's wife / alien autopsy
Biggest Hmm / Least Surprising - Regan is an alien. Kind of figured that one out. But…if she is one of them, how come they know so little about these aliens? Why does she not know? Is this some kind of alien amnesia?
Most Disturbing Dichotomy - Flynn thinking about undressing his wife while unzipping the alien body bag
The "Nope, That's Not Proof" Award - if the sign of being an alien is how much lotion you have, then I must be one too

Best Quotes -
1. McCarthy: "There you are, lurking like trolls in a Reddit chat room."
2. Regan: "There something you want to say?" Flynn: "Not to you." Regan: "Fine then, I'll say it for you. I don't know what planet I come from or how I was born. I don't have any antenna except on my car. I get a weird skin thing every few months. I cried when I saw ET and no, my lady parts do not feel different than a humans, but you knew that already." Flynn: "That's a damn lie. My wife is NOT one of you. We were married 6 years. Believe me, I'd know."
3. Finnerman: "So we hand over Slavich's body in return for what? A chat? I've got my Twitter feed for that."
4. McCarthy: "Don't give me that B-movie, Keyser Soze cr**."
5. Briggs: "Stores that sell vinyl records. That's anachronistic."
6. McCarthy: "The real question is what do you know about me?" Flynn: "Nothing except you're an arrogant prick lapdog..."



Motive - 3.03 / 3.04 - Oblivion / The Glass House

Grade: B- / B

Best Reason to Watch - the cases / the guest stars
Best Scene - the girl recognizes the cozy (blanket)
Best Hint of Back Story - Angie's tattoo
Best Ending - the kidnapped kid meets her real mom
Best Plan - faking your own death so you can kill your ex
Biggest Hmm - From what it looks like to me, Angie could scoot her desk back and not have the door slam into it every time.
Biggest Douche / Most Paranoid - Sophie's father
Most Attached - the architect who is willing to throw his life away for his fiancƩe, who appears back from the "dead" and says they have to leave now but won't say why
The "Welcome Back" Award - Alexis Bledel from Gilmore Girls and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants / Benjamin Hollingsworth from Code Black / Miranda Frigon from Primeval: New World and TV movies / Dylan Walsh from Nip Tuck /

Best Quotes -
1. Betty: "He had laser treatments." Angie: "Which are far more painful than you would think. What?" Betty: "No judgment." Vega: "Yeah, what'd you have?" Angie: "Well let's just say that it was one of teenage Angie's many bad decisions." Vega: "So butterfly over a guy's name? Care Bear?" Angie: "That hurts my feelings."
2. Vega: "She give you anything?" Angie: "We're looking for a white dude in a safety vest and a ball cap." Vega: "Oh, this case practically solves itself."
3. Betty: "Toothbrush proved interesting." Angie: "That's the first time anyone's ever said that."
4. Angie: "I know I'm late. Sorry" Vega: "Well I'm not taking attendance."
5. Angie: "How do you want to handle this?" Vega: "Very carefully." Angie: "That's a good plan."



Rush Hour - 1.04 - LA Real Estate Boom

Rush Hour is rapidly climbing the list of my favorite new shows. Its combination of laughs and action and heart hits the TV sweet spot for me. This episode sent things topsy turvy as Lee has a bad day. Although I'm not used to seeing people beat Lee up, it is good to see him in a less than perfect light. It humanizes him and actually makes him a more interesting character. Carter and Gerald's banter was aces as well. Gerald in small doses, emphasis on small, in each episode is beginning to be a real favorite. Still the very best part of the show is the pacing. There's never a dull moment and the action and one liners zing. I think this may be my greatest sorrow during cancellation this season.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - more explosions and chases per minute than your average summer blockbuster
Best Scene - Lee sympathizes with the bomber
Best Awww Moment - Didi welcomes Lee
Best Resurrection - that beautiful car
Best Reference - Lucy Liu from Elementary, great cross-publicity there CBS
Biggest Laugh - the discussion about "stuff"
Biggest Pet Peeve - bomb squad technician is NOT wearing gloves when he opens the bag of evidence
Most Clever - Lee shakes the rug to get the remote away from the bomber
Most Worrisome - Lee is having an off day and keeps getting beat up
Most Efficient - Didi
Most Fun - dancing in the bomb rubble confetti
Least Surprising - the community center guy gets blown up
Weirdest Motive - Why in the world would someone kill people because they can no longer go to their job? That must be some dedicated employee.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Lauren Bowles, most recently from The Messengers

Best Quotes -
1. Gerald: "Where's your stuff?" Lee: "I don't have any stuff." Gerald: "What do you mean you don't have any stuff? This is America. We love stuff." Lee: "I know. My country makes that stuff."
2. Krieg: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're gonna Indiana Jones me here?" Carter: "You bet your a** we are." Krieg: "You are betting my a*, detective. You are literally betting my a**." Carter: "Hey, it worked in the movie." Krieg: "No it didn't." Carter: "It did for a second. I seen the movie and it worked a little bit. Now shut the hell up."
3. Carter: "Yes. Councilman Kevin Bacon, he's a firm supporter of your right to dance."
4. Carter: "There is nothing Batman about this. You let that dude get away from you. What happened?" Lee: "The sun got in my eyes." Carter: "Did the sun push you into the ocean too? From my experience, it's usually not that aggressive."
5. Carter: "Aww, look at that. Man's got a home and now he's back to his old self. Gonna be beating up people in no time. Praise God." Gerald: "Awww, that's beautiful coz."



Scorpion - 2.23 - Chernobyl Intentions

Since this entire episode is all about Walter and Paige's relationship and the eternal will-they, won't-they that is dragging the entire show down and making what should have been a better season just barely tolerable at this point, this episode sucks. Out loud. There are the one-liners keeping it from abject failure and the eternal hope that next episode will focus on Toby and not shipper fantasies. Still it is very likely that Scorpion will go from being one of the best new shows of last year to marathon later status in season 3. A show about geniuses should not have such a clichƩd and pedantic TV blueprint.

Grade: D+

Best Reason to Watch - Toby's kidnapped by Brittle so the last 45 seconds did not make me eye roll
Best Reason to Fast Forward - everything on Walter pining for Paige and their will-they, won't-they dance
Best Scene - Toby's kidnapped by Mark Collins, who either escaped or blackmailed someone to let him out
Best Surprise - it's Walter that needed help
Best Game - Name the Robot
Best Gesture - Toby's engagement ring made from a nut
Worst Treatment - the anti-radiation shake
Worst Plan - talking when you're running out of oxygen
Most Clever - using amusement park rides to tow a plane
Most in Need of Burning - Sylvester's passport so he can avoid these situations
Biggest Eye Roll - Paige kisses Walter to safety
The "Well It Definitely Applies Here" Award - Toby's sequel theory works for season 2 of Scorpion overall
The "Welcome Back" Award - Kathleen Munroe from Resurrection

Best Quotes -
1. Happy: "Today! It's weights and measures, not wait forever."
2. Toby: "Medically speaking, he's nuttier than peanut brittle."
3. Cabe: "We already said that was a bad thing, right?" Toby: "It will be Chernobyl 2: The Sequel. Nine out of 10 sequels are worse than the original."
4. Sylvester: "I barely survived the commercial jet flight here. I'm not getting in a flying jalopy with an inexperienced pilot." Oksana: "I assure you, you're in good hands." Sylvester: "Thank you, lady I barely know, but nyet."
5. Sylvester: "No sign of Randy. He was eaten alive." Paige: "Are you sure we're far enough away?" Toby: "Topeka isn't far enough away."
6. Oksana: "In Russia we have phrase for this kind of trick. Loose translation - bananas crazy."



Stitchers - 2.05 - Midnight Stitcher

This is the best season 2 episode so far if only because Cameron is the least irritating he's been all season. By keeping the nauseating will they, won't they to only a few eye roll scenes, it allowed us to stay on target. Best off, it shows Camille laying the groundwork for figuring out what Liam is up to. I always thought he was shady so getting confirmation is a plus. The real win though is that Camille actually has a role to play now. I like her being Maggie's protƩgƩ, although I'm not sure I'm going to like Linus if he starts getting emoangsty over his relationship with Camille. While the case was probably the most far-fetched one yet, I did like how the core team worked together through it and that Kirsten had more interaction with Fisher than usual. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a fan of midnight stitching because something is bound to go wrong, but it was good to have the key four plotting together without emotional issues clouding things. I'm also good with Nina right now, although she'll probably end up being a spy or something too. I just like the extra banter she brings. Speaking of, I loved the bromance banter between Cameron and Linus in this one. This episode is so chock full of references, I stopped counting. Just how I like my Stitchers.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - Cameron pining and relationship issues were kept to a minimum
Best Scene - Camille and Kirsten debrief
Best Twist - it is Camille that is trapping Liam instead of the other way around
Best Character - Maggie this time, who rocked every scene
Best Character Interaction - Camille and Fisher, for now
Best Reference - Veronica Mars
Best Wing Woman - Camille, who shuts down Liam
Best Reference - David Tennant from Doctor Who, Top Gun, Wizard of Oz, etc.
Worst Plan - stitching Kirsten into the dead girl without proper personnel
Biggest Hmm - For a group that regularly hacks into every computer system around, how hard could it be to look up info on Elizabeth Stinger? If she got remarried, she has to have divorce papers on file somewhere. Not to mention, her maiden name would be on the original marriage certificate and would help narrow down the right woman.
Most Shady - Liam
Most Kick Butt - Fisher
Most Irritating - Bain, who would probably make the world a better place if he wasn't in it
The "Welcome Back" Award - Michael Graziadei from The Lottery

Best Quotes -
1. Linus: "I love my Time Lords as much as the next guy, but I need 8 hours of man sleep." Camille: "Sounds like an episode of nerd love."
2. Fisher: "I know that look. We've got a runner." Kirsten: "That means he's guilty, right?" Fisher: "Of something. Possibly of just being an idiot."
3. Linus: "Well that'll give us about 23 minutes by the time she jumps out of bed to the time she arrives at the lab and then breaks her foot off in our a**. Cameron: "Fortunately for us, there are four of us and she only has 2 feet so half of us will survive." Camille: "What's she gonna do? Fire us?" Linus: "Well not if she kills us first."
4. Camille: "Have you told Cameron about your hobbit feet?" Cameron: "Ulgh, hobbit feet?" Kirsten: "It was nothing. I...I went outside to check on a noise and I forgot to wipe the dirt off my feet." Cameron: "Oh thank God. I thought you meant hobbit feet as in hairy." Kirsten: "You've seen my feet. Did they suddenly sprout?"
5. Camille: "You had him at hello." Cameron: "First of all she didn't. Second, nice reference. Third, okay, you have me now. I'm in." Camille: "Makes two of us." Linus: "I hate peer pressure because…I always cave."
6. Camille: "Rise and shine, cupcake." Kirsten: "Ulhh, I hate when people wake me before my alarm goes off." Camille: "More than you hate being late for work?" Kirsten: "Oh, it's 9:20. Why didn't you wake me?" Camille: "Oh this must be what it feels like to be the mother of an ungrateful child."



Wynonna Earp - 1.04 - The Blade
~I liked this episode for Doc's back story and the sister interactions, but Dolls acting like a human (when not possessed) was awesome to see too. May he keep it up.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - back story on Doc Holliday
Best Scene - the sƩance
Best CGI - Dolls is possessed
Best Character Interaction - Doc and Wynonna / Waverly and Wynonna
Best Tongue Twister - Waverly: "…blubbering like a big bunch of bratty babies!"
Worst Time for a Monologue - just shoot him already, Wynonna
Biggest Ewww - the quadriplegic killer and his aversion to hygiene
Biggest Reference - Frozen, because awww - sisterly love wins out
Biggest Hmmm - Why in the world would they take Waverly when tracking the bad guy? Shouldn't she be making sure Dolls doesn't keel over instead of being potential monster bait? I guess plot device rules all.
Most Suspicious - Exactly whom does Doc want revenge on and why because that was a powerful speech to give to a stranger?
Most Likely to Get the Party Started - Doc, who has no patience with exposition. I like that.
Most Played - Waverly, who is swayed by flattery again
Most Nostalgic - This episode makes me want to watch Supernatural's Bloody Mary. It's pretty much the same story except it has Winchesters - the salt and burn kind.
Most Emoangsty Back Story - Wynonna screwed Megan's boyfriend so Megan left and killed Samantha's dad in a hit and run
Most in Need of a Speech Therapist - Doc, who mumbles most of his words and makes it hard for me to understand what he's saying

Best Quotes -
1. Doc: "I do not recall what lie I told you. I was probably drunk." Wynonna: "It was 8 am." Doc: "I was definitely drunk."
2. Wynonna: "Yeah but if I take him out…" Dolls: "Then you'll die in a hail of gunfire." Wynonna: "Blaze of glory." Dolls: "More like a blaze of stupidity."
3. Wynonna: "Isn't this the part where you say you love me too?" Waverly: "You know, you're awfully needy for a lone wolf."
4. Gus: "Management reserves the right to refuse service to jacka**. I'm management and you're the jacka**."
5. Waverly: "Is Deputy Marshall Dolls…laughing?" Wynonna: "I've never been so scared in my life."
6. Dolls: "I haven't seen this much blood since Kandahar." Wynonna: "What were you doing in Iraq?" Dolls: "Afghanistan, and I'm gonna get you a map."



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted", Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
Recent Reviews (All Reviews)






Sunday, April 24, 2016

Quote of the Week - Week of April 17





A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.



The 100 -
1. Monty: "Following the creepy music is a bad idea."
2. Emerson: "You murdered 381 people. You took the lives of my children, my brother, my friends. Did you really think that I would be happy with just one life in return?"
3. Jasper: "Remember when you told me it gets better." Octavia: "This is not the same thing." Jasper: "You know it's okay to fall apart a little, Octavia. You loved him." Octavia: "A warrior doesn't mourn the dead until the war is over."



Bates Motel -
1. Norma: “Alex! It’s funny, you and I. Isn’t it? That we’re here and we’re happy, that after everything we’ve made it. And you’re going off to work and kissing me, and it’s like I’m watching a movie, but it’s not a movie.” Alex: “It’s not a movie. Don’t screw it up.” (Alexandra Stillwell)
2. Norma: “I can’t get Caleb killed, and I can’t kill you so I’m screwed. I’m screwed! You got me! All I wanted was my freaking window fixed, and now you’re gonna destroy my life! So just go right ahead. Just go right the hell ahead!" (Alexandra Stillwell)
3. Norma: “So now you know who you’re married to and I should have told you before, but I’ve never loved anyone enough to feel obligated to be honest with them and It sucks. It sucks because I can’t hide and I want to, but I can’t. And Chick found out. He met Caleb when he was up at the farm working with Dylan. He just figured it out. And he has issues with my brother, and he was trying to find him, and he told me that if I didn’t help him that he would tell you all of this, that he would spread it around town and that he would humiliate you. So..so I don’t know. Just go pack your bag. Alex: “Okay…….Where we going?” (Alexandra Stillwell)



The Big Bang Theory -
1. Sheldon: "Are you up to date on Game of Thrones?" Penny: "Uhn, I think so. Dragons, snow zombies, and all the hot guys are dead."
2. Penny: "I don't always defend Sheldon." Leonard: "Oh yes, you do. You know you have a weird brother-sister, Elliot-ET relationship with him." Penny: "What about your weird relationship with him?" Leonard: "That's different. I'm like the little girl in Poltergeist and he's the creepy thing in the TV."
3. Sheldon: "Interesting fact. In Italian, the morta in mortadella means death." Amy: "Sheldon!" Sheldon: "I didn't say fun fact. I'm not a monster."



The Blacklist -
1. Red: "You could tell where Safar was standing when the vest blew. It was like a perfect circle of death. There was almost nothing left of the people closest to him - seventeen dead, 46 injured - blown to pieces. The closer they were to the bomber, the more horrific the effect." Woman: "Stop." Red: "That's every suicide, every single one. An act of terror perpetrated against everyone who's ever known you, everyone who's ever loved you. The people closest to you, the ones who cherish you, are the ones who suffer the most pain, the most damage. Why would you do that? Why would you do that to people who love you?"
2. Red: "She'll need protection." Tom: "Only if you're in her life. Go. Stay away. I won't let you make the same mistake with her that you made with Liz."
3. Red: "I would give anything to be a part of that child's life but a man made it clear I would never see her, hold her, watch her grow and I knew in that moment I would never be any part of that beautiful little girl's life because…" Woman: "He was her father." Red: "And to harm him would be to harm her, a mortal sin. Her mother is gone. The father is what she has left in the world."



Brooklyn 99 -
1. Guard: "Code silver. Can't let you out." Bob: "Look, you have to help me. I'm an FBI agent." Gina: "I am Serena Williams." Holt: "I'm sorry. They both suffer from grandiose delusional disorder. GDD." Bob: "I've been taken hostage here." Gina: "And I'm supposed to be at Wimbledon. It's my serve!" Bob: "No, no, no, I am not crazy." Holt: "Yes, he is, deeply. We need to transfer them both to a secure psychiatric facility. Serena here just bit off a doctor's nose." Gina: "It tasted delicious." Guard: "Yeah, you can go." Bob: "No, no, call the FBI." Gina: "No, call Venus! Call Venus!" (Laura Markus)
2. Holt: "When I die, please give Kevin my regards." Bob: "What shall I tell him?" Holt: "Regards." (Laura Markus)
3. Holt: "Wow, betraying the FBI is one thing, but sarcasm, Bob? Wow." (Laura Markus)



The Catch -
1. Ben: "She'll have to help." Felicity: "But I'm a killer, not a thief." Margot: "Oh, nobody's perfect."
2. Alice: "I brought apology coffee but only because it's too early for apology bourbon."
3. Ben: "Is there any legitimate guests at this party?" Felicity: "Who are these people?" Ben: "The competition." Margot: "Is every crime syndicate in town after this bracelet?"



Containment -
1. Xander: "My girl is in there." Alex: "So is mine. If I let you through that barrier, I'm risking your life and if we let anyone out, we're risking the lives of everyone in this city. I can't be that person. I can't let you be that person. You understand me?"
2. Katie: "Don't ever have kids. Unless you do, in which case, sorry."
3. Katie: "I share custody with his dad's parents. Long story. Tonight's their night." Jake: "You're under lockdown." Katie: "You'd think that would make a difference, huh?"



The Flash -
1. Common Sense…er, Wells: "I have an idea, Allen. Let's keep the breaches closed. Forever. Forget about the breaches. Forget about Zoom." Barry: "Wait. I'm sorry. I thought that you were on board with this." Wells: "Nope, nope, I said that I would help you get faster. I did not say I would help you give the man who kidnapped my daughter and tortured her a chance to do it again." Iris: "Hey, we are not gonna let that happen." Wells: "Oh, you're not gonna let that happen. Gosh, I wish I'd known that the first time."
2. Cisco: "Well the best plan we've come up with so far is to set off a nuclear warhead next to the city's electrical grid…so…" Barry: "We're not going to do that."
3. Barry: "You were there with me when I learned how to run on water, when I ran up a building, or traveled through time. Just like I'm gonna be there every step of the way with you. You've got something that Reverb never had and that's Kaitlin and Joe and Iris and Wells and me. Friends. We're gonna look out for you…and we're more than just friends. We're your family."



The Goldbergs -
1. Cogan: "Your hair suggests you don't know what you're doing with your life."
2. Murray: "Just because you broke up with the guy doesn't mean you gotta break up with the band."
3. Barry: "See that. Adam's photo's twice the size of ours." Beverly: "This is a misunderstanding. The photo guy made it the wrong size and I couldn't return it." Barry: "Please. I've seen you return a dead goldfish, used Chapstick, and a bathing suit Dad wore for 10 straight days in Puerto Rico."



Heartbeat -
1. Alex: "It's so unfair you know me so well." Lou: "Well it was either specialize in you or become addicted to soap operas. I made a choice."
2. Alex: "What's the matter with your arm?" Dwayne: "Oh just a mild strain from the effort of not wringing your neck."
3. Callahan: "Would you like to have breakfast with a surgical god?" Ji-Sung: "I didn't hear anything on the news about hell freezing over so no."



Hunters -
1. McCarthy: "There you are, lurking like trolls in a Reddit chat room."
2. Regan: "There something you want to say?" Flynn: "Not to you." Regan: "Fine then, I'll say it for you. I don't know what planet I come from or how I was born. I don't have any antenna except on my car. I get a weird skin thing every few months. I cried when I saw ET and no, my lady parts do not feel different than a humans, but you knew that already." Flynn: "That's a damn lie. My wife is NOT one of you. We were married 6 years. Believe me, I'd know."
3. Finnerman: "So we hand over Slavich's body in return for what? A chat? I've got my Twitter feed for that."



Limitless -
1. Naz: "How the hell did this happen?" Boyle: "Brewster knew we were bringing all the conspirators to the CJC for questioning and he used his credential to gain access to the motor pool. Rigged some type of explosive device beneath their van. It's a massacre. Everyone Brewster rounded up." Brian: "That's half of Morra's core people." Rebecca: "He had us do their work." Brian: "So they could slaughter them." (Laura Markus)
2. Rebecca: "Then what? So you're taking NZT that could be laced with God knows what, and you're working with some guy named Grover. Grover's a Muppet's name, Brian. How am I supposed to present this to Naz? Or to the DEA? And if you are buying or selling NZT, then they'll arrest you. I'm in an impossible situation." (Laura Markus)
3. Brian: "Brewster is one of them. I think he was on NZT, but he hid it so well. No accelerated speech patterns, no tells whatsoever. But it's the only thing that makes sense. [...] All those people he gave up? Sands' Legion of Whatever? None of them worked for Sands." Naz: "Then who are they?" Brian: "Well, that's what I stayed up all night trying to figure out, all right? I have a model in the back of the car, let me-" Rebecca: "Brian! Who are they?" Brian: "They're Morra's people. His last remaining operatives. The people who were in Sands' way." Rebecca: "How did we miss this? " Brian: "Because you didn't have anyone there to call it out. You didn't have anyone on NZT. And I kind of hate to say it, but you didn't have me." (Laura Markus)



Lucifer -
1. Maze: "Look, I've had a lot of sex. With men. And women. I mean, a lot." Amenadiel: "Okay, point made." (Laura Markus)
2. Lucifer: "Why would I be happy? I'm not evil. I punish evil." Malcolm: "Yeah, but, but you're, you know-"
Lucifer: "The Devil, yes. And you think you know who that is, don't you? The whole world does. A torturer, maybe. An inflictor of just desserts, sure. But a senseless murderer I am not. Perhaps I need to clarify my position." (Laura Markus)
3. Mitch: "Look, mate, the Devil ain't gonna buy me an Aston Martin." Lucifer: "Well, not with that attitude, he won't." (Laura Markus)



The Real O'Neals -
1. Kenny: "Picked last again. The only difference between gay dodge ball and straight dodge ball is that I'm wearing someone else's shorts." (Laura Markus)
2. Pat: "Ready for your first gay coffee shop?" Kenny: "I was born ready. In this case, literally. [...] I'm not ready. I mean, this is my first time in the gay part of town. What if they judge me? Am I wearing the right outfit? Should I have hit the gym before? Is there a gym inside the coffee shop?" (Laura Markus)
3. Jimmy: "Can we leave, too?" Eileen: "No! You and Shannon have to stay here and help me with book club." Jimmy: "Of all times not to be gay or divorcing you." (Laura Markus)



Rush Hour -
1. Gerald: "Where's your stuff?" Lee: "I don't have any stuff." Gerald: "What do you mean you don't have any stuff? This is America. We love stuff." Lee: "I know. My country makes that stuff."
2. Krieg: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're gonna Indiana Jones me here?" Carter: "You bet your a** we are." Krieg: "You are betting my a*, detective. You are literally betting my a**." Carter: "Hey, it worked in the movie." Krieg: "No it didn't." Carter: "It did for a second. I seen the movie and it worked a little bit. Now shut the hell up."
3. Carter: "Yes Councilman Kevin Bacon, he's a firm supporter of your right to dance."



Scorpion -
1. Happy: "Today! It's weights and measures, not wait forever."
2. Toby: "Medically speaking, he's nuttier than peanut brittle."
3. Cabe: "We already said that was a bad thing, right?" Toby: "It will be Chernobyl 2: The Sequel. Nine out of 10 sequels are worse than the original."



Stitchers -
1. Linus: "I love my Time Lords as much as the next guy, but I need 8 hours of man sleep." Camille: "Sounds like an episode of nerd love."
2. Fisher: "I know that look. We've got a runner." Kirsten: "That means he's guilty, right?" Fisher: "Of something. Possibly of just being an idiot."
3. Linus: "Well that'll give us about 23 minutes by the time she jumps out of bed to the time she arrives at the lab and then breaks her foot off in our a**. Cameron: "Fortunately for us, there are four of us and she only has 2 feet so half of us will survive." Camille: "What's she gonna do? Fire us?" Linus: "Well not if she kills us first."



Underground -
1. Sam: "I wanna tell you something that my Pa told me. Just cause you got to play dumb, don't you ever, ever let them make you think you really is." (Prpleight)





Wynonna Earp -
1. Doc: "I do not recall what lie I told you. I was probably drunk." Wynonna: "It was 8 am." Doc: "I was definitely drunk."
2. Wynonna: "Yeah but if I take him out…" Dolls: "Then you'll die in a hail of gunfire." Wynonna: "Blaze of glory." Dolls: "More like a blaze of stupidity."
3. Wynonna: "Isn't this the part where you say you love me too?" Waverly: "You know, you're awfully needy for a lone wolf."



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
Recent Reviews (All Reviews)