Welcome back to Last Week in TV, where we review the shows we've seen this week and give them episode awards. As always, I highly encourage you to give your own reviews and awards in the comments. I don't know about you, but overall this was an excellent week of TV for me. Led by iZombie's awesome 2-part finale and The Blacklist's game changer, I was happier with TV than usual. There were some duds like the new show, The Detour, and Scorpion as well as some middling episodes that left me irate because they could have been so good - looking at you, The 100. Overall though, this was TV win-win for me. I even got to flashback to my early TV obsession days with a classic episode from The X-Files as the nominated episode. If you would like to nominate an episode, please fill out the short 2-item form below. Next time the nominated episode will be from Killjoys if I can find it. I'm really excited about this one because it sounded like a fun show but it aired after I took a TV break last summer so I never got to see it. Speaking of summer, I usually take a hiatus from the column in July. Until then, I will be looking for people who would like to be guest reviewers for summer shows. If you are interested, please e-mail me at dahne@spoilertv.com so we can talk about specifics. Until then, leave your thoughts below and happy TV viewing.
Episode of the Week
Now that's how you end a season. True, not every show can call up a zombie infestation and free for all for their finale, but iZombie works with what it can get away with (no TWD-level gore here) and delivers. Kudos to The CW for giving us a doubleheader as well. I love how the penultimate episode sets up all the pieces and gets Clive caught up with the audience. The finale knocks it all down and provides for a great twist of an end, complete with hopefully a less irritating villain. If Vivian can just keep from villain monologuing, she'll automatically be an improvement. Not sure what to think about Blaine's continued amnesia though. It sucks as a plot point and quite honestly, I have no desire to redeem Blaine. He's more fun as a villain. I'm also sad to see Drake and Dale go. They brought much needed interest to the show. Other than that, this was a big hit for me. I was sorely missing action in my shows and this hit the sweet spot. I loved it so much I won't even gripe about the Matrix-style download of shooting skills Liv and Major received by consuming the plot device…er, Janko's brain. Big double thumbs up for Clive NOT being a zombie by the way. I was really fearing it there for a moment. After a slow start, iZombie rebounded and became one of my favorite shows again. ALL the meta, from Rob Thomas (ha!) to the references to more things than I could count added the necessary humor as well. The finale was definitely the best episode of this season for iZombie.
Grade: B+ / A-
Best Reason to Watch - trapped in a potential zombie apocalypse / all the meta and references
Best Scene - Liv tells Clive about zombies / zombie mêlée
Best Reaction - Ravi after accidentally killing Janko
Best Brer Rabbit - Don E.
Best Combination - 8675309
Best Save - Ravi keeps Janko from killing Liv / Major kills Gilda
Best Meta / Best Cameo - the singer Rob Thomas, whom the creator Rob Thomas is often mistaken for
Best Reference - Wonder Twins / Weekend at Bernie's / Rob Thomas / Sleepy Hollow and so much more
Best Snark - Brant Stone
Best Twist - Vivian is a zombie and wants to create a zombie homeland
Best Plan - NOT making Clive a zombie
Worst Plan - Drake is dead and I am sad
Biggest Facepalm - While it is cool to see Major with an axe, he probably should have picked up the guns he walked right by. Same for Liv and Clive when it comes to picking up extra firepower and ammunition.
Biggest Hmm? - Why is Vaughn leaving these zombies alive instead of killing them for real and dumping the bodies somewhere he can frame Major for? Then kill Major and poof, problem solved for him.
Most Self-Absorbed and Irritating - Vaughn
Most Screwed - Clive
Best Music - Sorry, Rob Thomas. You would normally win but the guard was listening to "O-O-H Child" by The Five Stairsteps and that's a top 25 choice on my favorites.
The "The Show Giveth and the Show Taketh Away" Award - On the plus side, we are finally done with Vaughn. It's about time. Gilda is gone too. Woo hoo! Sadly though we also lost Drake and probably Dale. Sigh. I liked these two.
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Drake
Best Quotes -
1. Stone: "Okay, can we just get Jules Verne in here because I am only licensed to practice law in this dimension, alright?"
2. Stone: "This case is Oscar the Grouch's dream house. It's a pile of garbage."
3. Clive: "I have to call this in even though I have no idea how any of this is going to get explained away." Liv: "Super max. It created a violent chain reaction. Armored guards lost their heads and began firing on rampaging employees." Clive: "You really think that's gonna fly." Liv: "You think zombie outbreak has a better chance."
4. Boss: "I want Blaine dead. Dead-dead. And when it's done, cut his head off. Bring it to me in a hatbox. This is Seattle, not Sleepy Hollow."
5. Gilda: "Wow, you're doing all this for me?" Vaughn: "Yeah, I am." Gilda: "Yet you couldn't hold an elevator door open for 3 seconds."
6. Clive: "Oh poor Rob Thomas." Liv: "This is how a skull breaks."
Nominated Episode
The X-Files was my first TV obsession. Sure I had a TV crush on Growing Pains, BH 90210, and others before it but The X-Files is when I first experienced fandom, fan fiction, novelizations, and merchandising for things that weren't owned by comics, Lucas LTD, or Disney. I bought the stuff, forced my family to check it out, and watched the first movie 3 times in one day. I was obsessed. I credit The X-Files for also awakening a love for science fiction and fantasy TV in me. I had watched sci-fi before but The X-Files had me reencountering classics like The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits while finding new genre shows still today. Because of this show, I try to watch every new sci-fi/fantasy show on TV and generally give them more time to grow on me than other types. It would inspire other TV obsessions too like Buffy, Roswell, and my ultimate TV obsession, Supernatural, which just happened to be 90% helmed by former X-Files crew. (Still miss you, Kim Manners.) It was also the first time that a show runner ever let me down (but sadly not the last). My "once bitten, twice shy" attitude led me to drop LOST after 2 seasons when I saw the same problems occurring. In the end, my opinion of the mytharc episodes remains a little tainted. In fact, I far prefer the standalones when it comes to The X-Files. For all that, EBE has a nostalgic place in my heart. I love how they set up such a rich conspiracy theory, supported by Deep Throat, and widespread enough to make me think Carter had a real vision of his own show mytharc well into the 5th season. Mostly though, this episode is a gem because it introduces the Lone Gunmen. They are everything the Ghostfacers from Supernatural hoped to be but never came close to achieving. They were wacky but deadly serious in their pursuits, even if everything they said sounded bananas. I always admired the cast for being able to utter and hear such nonsense with passion and conviction. Even better, their distinct personalities allowed for most fans to find a favorite. I was always partial to Byers because it was such a dichotomy to find someone who looked like a respectable banker spouting such tin hat theories. Although EBE is known as a strong mytharc episode, for me it will always be linked to The Lone Gunmen and for that it is one of the better episodes to me.
Grade: B+
Ranking: already watched the series and most seasons several times
Audience - If you like sci-fi, you need to try it. This is one of the classics. The cell phones are giant but the stories and characters are universal and the reason why it keeps coming back. It also colored genre TV for a generation. You can see its influence in a broad spectrum of shows.
Best Reason to Watch - Mulder and Scully / The Lone Gunmen
Best Scene - Mulder looks in the window only to find nothing there / introduction to The Lone Gunmen
Best Partner - Scully, for not saying, "I told you so."
Best Meta - Tom Braidwood and Val Stefoff are the fake names Mulder and Scully give to get onto the base. The first is the Frohike actor/assistant director and the second is another assistant director.
Best Back Story - Deep Throat explains the secret UFO conference that agreed to eliminate all EBE's
Most Likely to be Thrown in a CIA Cell and Never Heard from Again - Mulder, for walking wily nily into every secret base he can find
Most Cheesy - the UFO effects
Most Likely to Make You Paranoid - Finding a bug (spyware not insect) in your pen. It would also make me question their competency, even in the 90's.
The "Oh How the World has Changed" Award - Anyone purchasing a plane ticket in cash after just purchasing one to a different location on the same day by credit card would be immediately referred to Homeland Security, making it the least stealthy move of all.
The "Yeah, I'm Not Buying It Either" Award - swamp gas is a little lame as an explanation
The "It's a Good Thing He's Friendly" Award - Mulder, you would have been dead taking that long to draw your weapon if your visitor had been foe, not friend
The "Welcome Back" Award - Deep Throat, the show's original shadowy informant
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - Roger Cross from Arrow and Motive
Best Quotes -
1. Scully: "Mulder, the truth is out there…but so are lies."
2. Deep Throat: "I knew that down the road I would have to steer you away. That I would have to lie to you, and a lie, Mr. Mulder, is most convincingly hidden between 2 truths. Mulder…if a shark stops swimming, it will die. Don't stop swimming."
3. Byers: "Vladimir Zhirinovsky, leader of the Russian Social Democrats, he's being put into power by the most heinous and evil force of the 20th century?" Mulder: "Barney?"
4. Mulder: "Where will it end? I guess it won't end as long as men like you decide what is truth."
5. Deep Throat: "You're awfully quiet, Mr. Mulder." Mulder: "I'm wondering which lie to believe."
Guest Reviews
BY Swanpride
After the breakneck speed the show displayed in the first half of the season, it felt kind of slow since it has been back from hiatus. There was a lot of set-up but also a little bit of wheel-spinning. It seemed like we would get even more set-up this episode, but then the show suddenly kicked into gear big time. I am honestly worried about the team (especially poor Fitz) and worried if calling in the Inhumans and bringing them close to Hive is the right move. Before we reach this point, the story deals with three storylines. The one with Daisy and Lincoln seems a little bit contrived. It is only there to get them out of the way and to introduce a McGuffin I am honestly not particularly excited about. I also have a hard time believing that Gordon never turned up to fetch the stolen artifacts. And Lincoln's backstory makes even less sense. So the Inhumans watched him when he was all down due to the "emptiness" he felt and only intervened when he nearly killed someone? Feels off to me. The second one involves the main team following a lead and feels very perfunctory. Though I do appreciate that we got a fight scene we could actually see in detail, the stark light made some of the moves more obviously choreographed. It also really bothered me that May used a one-liner before taking out her opponent, usually she saves her breath for the fight until she has won. What makes this episode is the main plot, which explores Malick's past while dropping some very important information about Hive. So far, I had a hard time understanding why Hydra would be interested in bringing back Hive, but the division of some members who followed some old cult and others who have forsaken said cult makes sense. And since Hive was originally instrumental in getting rid of the Kree, it also makes sense that there would be a cult in the first place, most likely founded by his devoted followers. Above all this subplot made me care for Malick. I felt really bad for him for a second - and he is the guy who ordered the kidnapping of Fitzsimmons, was involved in the death of Rosalind, and nearly beat Daisy to death just one episode prior. That's some impressive story-telling skills.
Grade: B+
Best Reason to Watch - You'll all get what you deserve.
Best Scene - Coulson acknowledging that he crossed a line
Best Character - Malick, though his daughter certainly leaves an impression for such a minor character.
Best Team-up - Ward and Will in one body, with a mix of Hydra followers thrown in.
Best Prop - The stone, with all its implications. What if everyone knew about it, so that the one naïve member in the circle would always be the victim? Hive might have a vendetta against all high-ranking Hydra members at this point.
Best Effects - The kiss of death
Best Action - Daisy and Lincoln taking out James was slightly more satisfying that May kicking someone in the balls.
Most Creepy - Still Hive, especially since his hosts seem to influence his behaviour and he had a romantic relationship with every single female on the team
Most Random Observation - Jemma must have watched "The Birds"
My Prediction of the Week - I have one I don't want to reveal, just in case I am right. So I stick to "Hive is out for blood and Coulson better watch out".
Best Quote:
1. Coulson: "So Hydra is in the oil business now? It is like they are not even trying to avoid the bad-guy clichés."
2. Coulson: "I knew it would come back to haunt me. I just didn't think it would actually come back to haunt me."
BY Emma
Last week we had a visit from Prentiss to help distract us from Derek’s absence. This week, it was hard to miss. No Morgan/Reid bantering, no inappropriate-in-the-workplace Morgan/Garcia flirting – this is going to take a while to get used to. Our case this week had a pretty good twist but it was the moments between Rossi and his family that made it for me. It was great to see Rossi be a grandfather – not sure which is cuter, the kid or Rossi playing catch with the kid! I’m also very glad that Rossi, with a little nudge from JJ, finally understood why Hayden hid Joy from him for so long. Now he can get past this and they can all be a proper family.
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch – Rossi and his family
Best Scene / Character Interaction – JJ and Rossi talk about the demands of the job
Biggest Ewww – Decomp shower
Best Real Talk – JJ calling Rossi out that the old Rossi would not have put family before the job
Most Surprising – the UnSub’s motives
Best Callback – Joy meeting with a serial killer
The “Keep Dreaming” Award – Cubs win the World Series (As someone from St. Louis, this makes me laugh ~Dahne)
The “Welcome Back” Award – Sheryl Lee Ralph of stage, film and TV / Devon Gummersall most notably of My So-Called Life
Best Quotes:
1. Rossi (voice over): “I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hate so stubbornly is because they sense once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain. James Baldwin.”
2. Garcia: “Yes sir. I am on that like brown on….super…healthy…rice.”
3. JJ: “Lot of water under that bridge between you two, huh?” Rossi: “29 years’ worth. Too much to get past.” JJ: “Is she unreasonable?” Rossi: “No.” JJ: “She’s selfish?” Rossi: “Not in the slightest.” JJ: “What was her reason for not telling you about Joy?” Rossi: “The job. This job.” JJ: “Hmm…” Rossi: “What?” JJ: “Nothing.” Rossi: “Jennifer. What?” JJ: “Ok look, I am on your side but…I get it.” Rossi: “Because you’re a mom?” JJ: “No. Because I know you, David Rossi. You told me what you were like back then. Nothing came between you and the job.” Rossi: “Ya, but I might have put it on hold if it meant I got to raise a daughter like Joy.” JJ: “It’s easy to say that now because you know who Joy turned out to be but 30 years ago, would you have really put your career on hold for diapers and teething and all night crying fits? Hayden had to make a call and maybe it was the wrong call but don’t pretend you don’t understand why she made it.”
BY Jessica VanWinkle
Did the writers all get together and decide to focus on characters we don’t like? This episode was pretty terrible, and I know I’ve said it before, but I can’t stand Maddie. And after this episode, I really wouldn’t care if we ever saw her again. What is her problem? She has two parents that love her, a sister who adores her, and she has pretty much everything she wants. Her parents even got someone to come help her write and sing. So how does she repay them? By singing in a club, lying to her parents about it, and then screaming at Deacon and acting like a brat when he came to pull her out of there. And don’t get me started on Cash. She had absolutely no right to take Maddie to that club. I don’t condone violence, but I wouldn't have blamed Deacon if he had slapped Cash. I probably would have cheered. At the end of the episode we saw Rayna get a call from Deacon so I’m sure we’ll see more of Maddie screaming and yelling at her parents next week. And because the Maddie drama wasn’t bad enough, we got to deal with Autumn Chase and her issues. I don’t know why she wants to know every single detail about Scarlett and Gunnar’s history, but I know it’s not good. I’m glad that Scarlett stood up for herself, but unfortunately that just seemed to set Autumn off. Now she’s acting like she’s interested in Gunnar. This show better not ruin “The Exes” or start another love triangle. I will bash my head into the wall if we have to endure yet another love triangle. The few bright spots in this episode were listening to Juliette and Rayna sing. Juliette’s Grand Ole Opry performance was beautiful! I want more singing from the characters we love, not unnecessary drama from the ones we don’t.
Grade: C-
Best Reason to Watch: The music.
Best Scene: Juliette singing at the Grand Ole Opry. I loved that she dedicated the song to Glen and he was able to forgive her.
Worst Character Ever: Maddie
Character I Want to Slap: Cash
Character Who Showed The Most Restraint: Deacon. How he didn’t hit anyone after this episode is beyond me.
Best Dressed: Rayna. I loved her black top and silver belt. And her hair was flawless as always. (Random award, I know, I just wanted to end to review on a positive note since I’ve been so negative.)
New Shows
~Nope, when peeing in jars and throwing it at people becomes the joke, I know it is NOT for me. You can do better, Lily Tomlin.
Grade: ungraded, since I could not even make it until the end of the pilot
The "Welcome Back" Award - Natalie Zea from The Following / Lily Tomlin from 9 to 5 and other great movies
Best Quotes -
1. Jared: "I'm not Colombo. I'm not going to discover America. I just want to get back inside and get an ice cream." Nate: "No!" Jared: "Why?" Nate: "Because you're not old enough for this particular flavor of sadness."
2. Robin: "Call 911, Jared." Jared: "Umm. What's the number?"
If Game of Silence keeps on track with these first two episodes, it's going to have more twists than How to Get Away with Murder. It's set up in a similar way to it and Quantico. The main story takes place currently with 5 childhood friends coming together after a long estrangement when one of them commits murder. However, interspersed with the current story is how the childhood friends endured a hellish juvenile center called Quitman, where they were beaten, tortured, and traumatized. It is highly hinted at that they were sexually abused by other inmates and possibly the warden too. When Boots, the scrawny one back then, runs into one of their tormentors as an adult, he severely beats him with a golf club and is thrown in jail. Jackson, who got out of town shortly after they were released and wasn't heard from again, has become a lawyer and the other two petty thugs get him to defend Boots, except Boots is shanked in prison and dies. To get revenge for Boots, they plan to take down the warden, who is now running for Congress, and the mob he secretly works with, who just happen to be the former inmates. The best thing about this show so far is that they do a great job of intermixing the past and the future and the acting in both, even with the kids, is pretty good. David Lyons shines as Jackson, the supposedly more cool headed one who is hiding his own secrets with his ex-girlfriend Jessie, the 5th member of the childhood friends. All in all, I am intrigued by this show but I really wish it debuted in the summer. I could see this surviving well there, but this late debut as finales are kicking into gear is going to leave it lost in the shuffle.
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - it's twisty and engrossing
Best Scene - Jackson talks Gil out of shooting himself
Best Release - Jessie's screaming place
Worst Plan - taking Gil with them anywhere / trusting Gil with anything / basically everything Gil
Biggest Twist - Jackson killed the guard who tortured him
Biggest Hmm - How exactly did none of these guys know that the ex-warden is the Lt. Governor of their state?
Most in Need of Severe Counseling - all of them but especially Gil
Most Forgiving - Jackson's fiancé
Dumbest Criminal - Terry, who goes after Boots without knowing the facts and ends up with a war on his hands when there might never have been one
The "And the Plot Thickens" Award - Is every part of this corruption family to the other parts? Even the gang task force guy is brother to the criminal being investigated.
Best Music - Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard
The "Welcome Back" Award - David Lyons from Revolution / Derek Phillips from Friday Night Lights
Best Quotes -
1. Jackson: "We build a case brick by brick, solid as a rock, and then we put them away in prison." Gil: "That's gonna take forever." Jackson: "That's…that's the only way, Gil." Gil: "No, it isn't. That's your way." Jackson: "What would you do?" Gil: "I'd set them on fire, shoot them in the face, and go get a bag of tacos."
2. Shawn: "Well how are we gonna get home?" Jessie: "Ride with him. Maybe you guys can talk some more and then NOT tell me what's going on. That's always fun."
3. Gil: "You don't get it, do you? I'd rather die than have anyone know what happened to us." Jackson: "You don't mean that Gil." Gil: "I swear to God, Jackie." Jackson: "Gil…" Gil: "Why not?" Jackson: "Gil, look at me. Look at me. I'm your brother. I'm your brother and I've got you. I've got you. Put it down. I'm here. I got you."
4. Gil: "Things haven't always been easy for her." Shawn: "They're not going to be any easier with you."
5. Jackson: "Can I take a pass on this one? Please." Annie: "Fine, but you're on your own for dinner." Jackson: "That's okay. I order a mean pizza."
I have zero idea what's going on with this show, but since the characters don't seem to have any more of a clue than I do, I'm in good company. The gist of it is that some alien species (from outer space or not) has created the world's greatest terrorist sleeper cell. They are great in numbers but not so keen on the info-sharing so no one knows who they are, where they came from, or what their goals are. They put the shadow in shadow society so well that the government only learned of their existence in 2009. When an FBI agent's wife is kidnapped by one of the known aliens, he gets drafted on Team X-File. Why was she kidnapped? Best bet is that she is a sleeper agent who got in too deep and fell in love with Flynn. Oh and there's a mole in the agency too, of course. Overall, the pilot was a bit flimsy but it has a good framework. I like the twist of the aliens among us being terrorists and being hunting down like them. I'm not sure about the constant hissing and clicks though. That got old fast.
Grade: C+
Ranking: 4
Audience - those who like alien conspiracies or agents tracking down terrorists
Best Reason to Watch - the overall story arch
Best Reaction - Flynn to hearing that aliens walk among us
Best Reference - Pretty in Pink
Biggest Idiot - Regan, whose insubordination gets someone in her squad killed
Biggest Ewww - alien brains dripping down the plane
Least Surprising - the agency to hunt aliens has been infiltrated by aliens
Most Likely to Make Like a Superhero - all the tree jumping and climbing
Most Likely to Keep People Watching - the cold open starts with a naked woman in a rabbit cage bleeding from the ears
Most Pointless - Why even bring the foster kid into the story if she's just getting schlepped off?
Most Annoying - bug language clicking
Best Music - Maid of Orleans by OMD
The "Welcome Back" Award - Julian McMahon from Charmed and Nip/Tuck
Best Quotes -
1. Truss: "With your skills and experience, you'll be an excellent replacement for an agent we just lost." Flynn: "That's not a great sales pitch."
2. Jules: "That's their leader. He's like the Bin Laden of little green men."
3. Flynn: "A gun that shoots Martians." Regan: "We don't know where they come from. It could be space. No one knows for sure." Briggs: "What we do know is that hunters DON'T come in peace."
4. Abby: "Are you okay?" Flynn: "Not even close."
Weekly Shows
What the hell? Seriously, Jason Rothenberg. What. The. Hell. You finally get around to calling out your favorite characters but you do so through someone who is possessed by evil so it becomes less of a valid condemnation of their choices and more evil taunting the brave heroes. Seriously!!! This is such a cheap move. You sprinkle in things they could not have controlled amongst the things they should rightly be judged for and in doing so you lessen their blame. Instead it makes it all about "poor little old them," who are being picked on by that meanie, Alie. Poor babies! They all suck. Then they get to play hero again so that everyone who has a right to hold a grudge against them doesn't anymore. Raven apologies for the truth. Both Octavia and Jasper bend within the course of one episode. What the hell, Jason! You hold everyone else accountable and take pleasure in killing off those who work to build something instead of just tearing everything down. The only one with real consequences for being a royal douche bag is Monty, who has to kill his mom. Instead, at the end, we're supposed to feel sorry for Bellamy? Are you kidding me? He made his own choices and as such, he ought to be marched to Ontari just like Pike. If Raven had been in her right mind, this would have been an A- episode for me but since it is a cheap copout instead of actually holding the characters responsible for their actions, it drops the grade an entire letter grade. Yet we do get rid of Monty's mom, so that's a plus. We also have Clarke together with the team instead of on her own so that's a plus too. Then there's the truth finally being spoken, not just for the current issues but for things people should have been held accountable for all the way back in season 1. (It's about time someone called Bellamy out for the Ark in 1.05 and Jasper since he drew breath on Earth.) There are no real consequences but at least it's finally been said. Still, I may end up rooting for Alie to level them all except I prefer the grounders to stay Alie-free so she needs to go.
Grade: B-
Best Reason to Watch - Faux Raven tells the home truths
Best Scene - Monty kills his mom
Best Acting - Lindsey Morgan
Biggest Awww Moment - Sinclair says Raven is all he has left (since he sees her as a daughter)
Biggest WTH, People!!! - How is it that both Bellamy and Monty are just accepted back by these people? They betrayed them. I don't even know why Clarke is accepted by these people anymore. There is certainly NO WAY they should be looking at these douches in a leadership position again! Since when are there zero consequences for people's sucky decisions on The 100. At the very least, Bellamy should be dead by now - preferably at Niylah's hands.
Biggest Hmm - Is there no longer a blockade by the grounders? It's okay if there isn't but shouldn't Ontari already have rolled her troops into Arkadia by now if that's the case?
Least Surprising - the Lexa chip can stop Alie
Biggest Ewww - Raven dislocates her own shoulder to get the restraints off
Biggest Hypocrite of the Night - Jasper blames Clarke but not Bellamy for Maya's death when it should be both or neither
Dumbest Move - Alie lets Clarke know what she wants
The "Where Do You Get Off" Award - Who is Monty to be telling Octavia not to leave? He picked the side that wanted to kill some of the Arkadians so he doesn't get to claim himself as their people anymore.
The "Well You Got It Halfway Right" Award - Useless Jasper at least tells Clarke that's she's not the boss anymore. Then he listens to what Bellamy says. Neither of these two should be looked up to at this point.
Best Quotes -
1. Bellamy: "Get yourself together, Jasper. You can't let your anger get in the way of what we have to do." Jasper: "Well, that's funny coming from you. When you're angry, people die. Just ask that girl over there."
2. Raven: "Do you ever see their faces?" Clarke: "What?" Raven: "Of all the people you've killed." Clarke: "I know what you're doing but you can't get to me, Alie, so don't bother." Raven: "It's not Alie, Clarke. It's Raven and I'm not trying to get to you. I'm just trying to tell you the truth because no one else will. Everywhere you go death follows. You always want to save everyone but you don't realize that you're the one we need saving from. Wells is dead because you couldn't see Charlotte was a basket case. Finn is dead because you broke his heart and then slid a knife into it. Hell, I bet you got Lexa killed too."
3. Raven: "Look at your united front. Tell me. Why do you give Bellamy a pass for murdering your girlfriend? What was her name?" Jasper: "Don't talk about Maya." Bellamy: "You don't have to listen to this." Raven: "Let's protect Jasper. Jasper's so sensitive. Jasper's lost someone. Everyone cater to his feelings. We've all lost someone. You don't see us falling apart. You don't see us getting wasted, being useless." Jasper: "No, you took a pill to take your pain away. You gave up your memories." Raven: "But then why should we expect anything more? You used to get high off of people's medicine. Being a selfish loser is your only move." Jasper: "Stop." Raven: "That's all we see when we look at you. A coward, a waste of breath. Why do you even bother living? You're weak, pathetic. You can't save me. You can't even save yourself. You couldn't even save what's her name."
4. Raven: "I do have question. Does it bother you that you don't get any credit for the genocide at Mount Weather. Then again, you didn't get any credit for the culling on the Ark either. How many people suffocated when you threw away my radio? You know at least Clarke was saving her own people. You were just saving your own a**."
5. Octavia: "Turning Pike in does not make you one of the good guys, Bellamy."
6. Jasper: "Shove your regret up your a**."
7. Raven: "Don't worry. Gina was already dead when Mount Weather blew up. You avenged her, right? I mean you picked up a gun and slaughtered an army that was sent to protect us…that had nothing to do with blowing sweet Gina to bits but hey, a grounder's a grounder, right?"
8. Octavia: "You were hurting and you lashed out because that's what you do. There are consequences, Bell. People get hurt. People get die…your people. Monroe's dead. Lincoln is dead."
On this show I wouldn't even buy Liz being dead if she were beheaded and they showed her decapitated head on the ground so I'm not buying this "death" at all. However, it is a brilliant move. Nothing like giving the actress time off while increasing the drama and likely sending Reddington straight over the edge. I really, really wanted answers in this episode but making Red think Lizzy's dead works just as well. I expect to see a shot of Tom, Elizabeth, and little Agnes on the beach next episode. Although I will miss my Tom time, I eagerly await Reddington he finally catching up with Solomon. Time for that guy to bite it and Red isn't going to pull any punches about it. I confess I'm also intrigued to know who wanted Liz so bad. Her mother is the obvious choice but I think it's too obvious. Anyone have any guesses? I also want to shout out the music team on The Blacklist because they consistently do an excellent job. The ending montage was especially good this time.
Grade: A-
Best Reason to Watch - oh the drama and the angst and…the action
Best Scene - Reddington says goodbye to Elizabeth, especially if she's really dead. Which she's not. I lay big odds on Mr. Kaplan doing a whole Juliet con to make it seem like she's dead.
Best Reaction - Mr. Kaplan to everything about Liz's pregnancy
Best Birth Story - nothing like being chased by gangsters and surviving a car crash on your birth date
Biggest Awww - Reddington holds Baby Agnes
Biggest Sniff, Sniff - Theme from Blinking Lights by The Eels, the song playing when everyone hears about Liz's death
Least Surprising - Liz is NOT in the ambulance
Most Protective Mom - Liz, who bans Red from her daughter
Most in Need of a Great Big Warning Sign - seriously if you're going to put the surgery on the mirror and pan in, I need advanced warning to know when to look away
Most Likely to Tell It Like It Is - Mr. Kaplan, who tells off Red in a way most people couldn't get away with
Most Romantic - Tom puts on Having My Baby for Liz's delivery and adds disco balls
The "Are You Listening to Yourself?" Award - Liz is mad that a fugitive, sociopathic killer put her in this position. Who's she talking about? Because that describes both Reddington AND Tom. Choosing between sociopaths is really not the way you want to start motherhood.
Best Quote -
1. Tom: "Let me find something for the pain…Demerol." Liz: "What about the baby?" Tom: "I don't know. I'm not trained for this." Liz: "Oh my God. We're terrible parents."
2. Red: "It's the children whom the world almost breaks who grow up to save it." Liz: "I don't want that for her." Red: "I wasn't talking about her. I was talking about you, Elizabeth."
3. Red: "I can't protect you in a hospital." Liz: "You can't protect me in a church either." Red: "Let me rephrase that. I cannot safeguard you and the dozens of innocent patients and medical personnel who'll be caught in the crossfire when Solomon and his Stormtroopers put together where you are."
4. Tom: "You always wanted a shotgun wedding."
5. Liz: "Because I let a fugitive, a killer, a sociopath into my life, now I am being hunted by God knows who's chasing me but they've got body armor and assault rifles. And I have to give birth to my child, to a baby, in a filthy warehouse." Kaplan: "It's a nightclub." Liz: "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
The Catch continues to fascinate as the cat and mouse game flipped. Now I have zero idea of what roles Alice and Ben are going to be playing. Will Ben elicit her help to get away from the Benefactor? Will she continues to con block him? I'm not sure what this truce really means but these two are mesmerizing. I also love how even though Ben meant her harm, his relationship with the princess actually helped expand her horizons and gave her purpose. I expect that she will do great things if she's not assassinated so I hope she never learns of Ben's planned betrayal. The case itself was okay. Sure the business partner being the bad guy was completely transparent, but I liked the Gwen character. It just goes to show Alice though that she needs to stop keeping secrets from Valerie.
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - the way both Alice and Ben can always turn a situation around
Best Scene - Alice and Ben meet in the park
Best New Addition - Shawn, who if he isn't just going to be a piece of love geometry, has an interesting background that could provide for good storylines
Trickiest New Addition - Felicity, whose actress was fantastic as Arika
Best Silent Conversation - Alice and Ben
Most Hopeless Romantic - the princess who inadvertently staves off the Benefactor by trying to give Alice a present
Most Wrong - Valerie really believes Alice is not keeping secrets from her
Most Noble - the princess, and not just in a royalty way
Least Surprising - the business partner is the terrorist
Least Needed Subplot - a love triangle between secondary characters, one of whom I have to keep looking up his name because he registers so low on my show consciousness
The "Welcome Back" Award - Shivani Ghai from Dominion and Bride & Prejudice
Best Quotes -
1. Sophie: "He graduated summa cum laude. That's Latin for not an idiot."
2. Gwen: "This is just super weird. I'm looking at my own tombstone. Am I making a huge mistake?" Valerie: "You're getting a whole new life as Allison Aykle, Peace Corps volunteer." Alice: "And if at any point Gwen Ericsson needs to come back from the dead, we specialize in that too."
3. Sophie: "See, I told you he was nice." Danny: "He's not nice. He's perfect." Sophie: "He's not perfect." Danny: "How is he not perfect? Even I'm attracted to him now."
4. Margot: "You've earned her trust. Now rob her blind."
I liked this episode so much better than the last one. The jokes hit better (except Ethan and Shea), the characters (except Stella) were smarter, and I loved the reveal that Bob is actually a romantic. His gruff exterior never gets in the way of his showing Alice how much he appreciates her. I love that in a comedy. I also think this episode had better character interactions than any of the previous ones.
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - the pregnancy test joke worked pretty well throughout the episode
Best Reason to Fast Forward - Shea and Ethan talking at cross-purposes with Mike and Martina
Best Scene - Martina and Mike talk about having another kid before Stella brings reality down on them
Best Character Interaction - Bob and Alice still, although Martina and Mike were close this time
Best Way to Get the Crowd's Attention - throw some faux Klingon their way
Worst Plan in the History of Plans - Stella pretending to be pregnant to end her relationships
Worst Memory - Bob about his first date with Alice
Most Romantic - Bob, offering to play Alice's Kevin Costner
The "I'm with You" Award - Once a movie or TV show airs, it's fair game. If you are spoiled then, it's on you.
Best Quotes -
1. Mike: "I don't like movies where they don't end up together in the end." Guy: "Nice spoiler, dude." Mike: "This movie's 20 years old. That's on you."
2. Mike: "You don't need your purse. I've got my wallet." Martina: "But I need my brush, lipstick, concealer…" Mike: "What are you trying to conceal? I know what you look like."
3. Mike: "Let me first say that I love you. I trust you completely but dad and I went through your phone and it appears that you've been banging your ex-boyfriend and are pregnant with his baby so…thoughts?" 4. Martina: "Look, we need to confirm things with Stella and then we'll figure out what to do from there." Mike: "Is it too late for adoption?" Martina: "It hasn't even been born yet." Mike: "I'm talking about Stella."
5. Ethan: "Maybe for the first time in our lives we should color outside the lines." Shea: "I couldn't even sit next to the kids who did that. If the bear and the bunny and the birthday present are all the same color, that's not a birthday party. That's chaos."
While I see the upside to the mytharc about Watson's half-sister and I am good with Watson getting her own storyline, I do NOT actually like the sister. If she goes the way of Sherlock's lover, as if sometimes talked about with most contact off-screen, then I am good with this subplot. If she makes random appearances every episode where she commits emotional hit and run, not so much. This is a time will tell kind of plotline. As it is, she ruined the first episode for me, but the second one was one of the more interesting crime procedural cases I've seen in a long time. The idea of a selfie actually exonerating someone is a good example of using modern life (and art) in a unique way. It was a refreshing twist.
Grade: C / B
Best Reason to Watch - the second case and all its twists
Best Reason to Fast Forward - Sherlock and Watson bickering over Mycroft, again. I thought we left that behind when Mycroft left.
Best Scene - Sherlock snarking at the rich gun guy
Best Reaction - Bell to the plan to sell pictures of the pictures that were reconceptualized pictures
Best Snark - Sherlock, who had one snarky fun line after another
Best One Up - Joan knows the killer before Sherlock
Biggest Twist - the client is Joan's half sister
Biggest Surprise - the woman shot in the cold open is not dead
Biggest Douche / Possibly Most Crazy - the client, aka Joan’s half sister
Most Sympathetic - Joan, who waits until her half sister is ready before meeting her father's other wife
Most Interesting Plot - an old selfie holds the key to absolving a convict
The "Welcome Back" Award - Lauren Luna Velez from Dexter
Best Quotes -
1. Sherlock: "You were able to get yourself dressed this morning so you're smart enough to realize how stupid that sounds."
2. Bell: "So this guy rips off other people's selfies, blows them up, and then charges a hundred grand apiece. Surprised we're not investigating his murder."
3. Ephraim: "Do you see any art in these empty spaces?" Sherlock: "One might argue there's no art in the occupied spaces either."
4. Bell: "I also talked to the downstairs neighbor, Mrs. Ellis, aged 92. She claims that on the night of the robbery she was asleep. For once I'm going to call that a solid alibi."
5. Sherlock: "She was murdered just before 4 am. We'd show you the crime scene photographs but you'd probably just reconceptualize them."
This episode was pure fun. Seriously, if you like humor and action and just an all around good time, you need to check this show out. The action sizzles, the interactions are engaging, and the humor flies one zinger at a time. The DA and the mob boss working together was a given but this is more of a process show than a who-dunnit. The best thing about the episode though is the introduction of Grandma. From the moment she Gibbs' slapped Lee, she had my heart. I love tough, Christian grandma characters and she fits in with the best. Watching her take down the thug and Carter backtracking on his cursing when she does it made my week. I need her in more episodes with perhaps a bit more back story on Carter. I also hope that this is not the last we see of Isaiah.
Grade: B+
Best Reason to Watch - action, action, and Grandma action
Best Scene - the ending toast
Best Moment - Grandma takes down a thug with a frying pan
Best Twist - Gerald is in the hiding space protecting Isaiah from thugs
Best Pep Talk - Carter to Isaiah
Best Cliffhanger Impersonation - both Lee and the graffiti artist
Best Reaction - Carter to Diaz fangirling over Lee
Best Addition - Grandma
Best Boss - Cole takes the blame with the DA for Carter and Lee's mistake
Worst Plan - trying to steal that beautiful ride and then shooting it up
Biggest Laugh - Grandma Gibbs' slaps Lee
Best Music - Two Princes by The Spin Doctors
Least Surprising - the DA is in the mob boss' pocket
Best Quotes -
1. Carter: "You mind if I take this one alone?" Lee: "Sure, I'll just go interview the other sole witness on this case." Carter: "Check you out, being all sarcastic. I must be rubbing off on you." Lee: "It is my greatest shame."
2. Carter: "Damn, grandma. I mean…dang, grandma."
3. Carter: "This song makes me want to drive this car off the nearest cliff." Lee: "It will grow on you." Carter: "It won't. Okay Lee, here's what you gotta do tonight. You got to go home and you gotta learn some American music." Lee: "I know all about American music. What is that one I like? The um…" Carter: "That was a Cialis commercial." Lee: "It was very catchy."
4. Isaiah: "Why'd he become a cop?" Carter: "Scientists created him in a lab to be a robot crime fighter with bad music taste." Lee: "I can hear you."
5. Lee: "I'm disturbed that you see the city's top prosecutor and immediately assume you're in trouble." Carter: "It's a learned reflex."
~Yeah, case. Yeah, Camille. Ugh, Cameron. Go away.
Grade: B-
Best Reason to Watch - the case and Camille, not necessarily in that order
Best Reason to Fast Forward / Most Needing to Just SHUT UP! - anytime Cameron brings up/ whines about his relationship with Kirsten
Best Scene - Camille takes down her brother
Best Question - Besides bringing the snark and the awesome, what IS Camille's role in this unit?
Best Pep Talk - Maggie to Camille, right until it turned into a weird vigilante speech
Best Moment - Kirsten talks about how much she appreciates Ed
Best Advice - Fisher about staying friends
Weirdest Sight - Kirsten comforts the supermarket manager
The "Welcome Back???" Award - Theo, the annoying one
Best Quotes -
1. Theo: "Who does she think she is, giving me orders?" Camille: "Yeah, who do I think I am? I'm NSA, b**."
2. Jamie: "You have nanobots?" Kirsten: "Sure, doesn't everybody?"
3. Linus: "If the moment was meant to happen, an Indian guy in his boxers wouldn't be able to ruin it."
4. Camille: "Touch that and I'll end you."
5. Cameron: "You know, you and me, working together. It's not going to be awkward, is it?" Kirsten: "Oh wait, you mean like you just made it."
To sum up: Wynonna's growing on me, Waverly is a twit, her boyfriend is a Barbie doll, and Dolls is still the biggest douche inside or outside the cursed triangle. Thank goodness for forward plot movement. I love that Doc is now revealed to both sisters although it would have behooved Waverly to have mentioned it. Come on, Dopey. I also like that we hear of the Stone Witch so quickly. To be honest, these revenants are too stupid to be much more than comical at this point. There needs to be a true villain and I think the Stone Witch might provide much needed heft in that department. If it ends up being Gus though, never mind. No need for more family drama. The Earp's have enough in their past and present. No need to sully up the future too.
Grade: B-
Best Reason to Watch - forward plot movement on both Doc and the stone witch
Best Reason to Fast Forward - Waverly emoangsting
Best Forward Plot Movement - Doc Holliday introduces himself to Wynonna
Best Plan - possession does make sense as a demon plan
Best Rejection - Doc Holliday says Wynonna is not his type
Worst Pep Talk - Dolls to Wynonna about Shorty
Worst CGI - the demons going to hell / Shorty possession
Dumbest Character of the Episode - Waverly for so many reasons but her boyfriend, Champ, is in striking distance in the idiot race too
Weirdest Partnership - Wynonna and the revenants
Biggest Douche - still Dolls
Biggest Facepalm - Wynonna stops to snark a one-liner and the demon gets away. Shoot, then snark or multitask with a little shoot AND snark. Buffy did it. Just saying.
Best Quotes -
1. Wynonna: "That's why you need Champ's body? For some sort of like possession?" Champ: "What? In my body? Wynonna, I don't even put gluten in this."
2. Wynonna: "Sometimes you come so close to cool and then cool makes a run for it."
3. Wynonna: "It's not a team. I'm not even sure we're the good guys." Waverly: "Well good guys seem to be in short supply these days but believe me, you are definitely one of them."
4. Dolls: "So this triangle is a prison. Then we're the wardens and we've got to identify the prisoners and keep them contained." Wynonna: "By shooting them in the face, starting with the 7 revenants that attacked our homestead and killed our sister. I want them to tremble with fear before me." Dolls: "You've got powdered sugar on your nose."
5. Wynonna: "Look if you're about to propose a threesome, I'm tired and I haven't shaved my legs."
6. Wynonna: "Welcome to Team Shut Up and Do What He Says. Sometimes we get doughnuts."
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