Hello and welcome back to Last Week in TV. I'm feeling remarkably caught up this week since I only have the remainder of Recovery Road to finish before I consider myself caught up for the final stretch. Whew, that feels good. Here's hoping the somewhat light week helped your TV schedule too. This week the nominated episode was the Warehouse 13 pilot, which was a blast from the past. This week I'll be reaching back even farther to the first season of The X-Files, the show that was my first real TV obsession. It's sure to bring back a lot of nostalgia. If you'd like to nominate an episode, just fill in the short 2-question form below. I use a random number generator to select which episode will be chosen each week so get yours in now. Until next week, happy TV viewing and don't forget to leave your own awards in the comments below.
Episode of the Week
Note - the episode of the week is only 3.17 but I took notes together for the last 3 episodes so they are part of the episode awards and quotes
This show is awesome. It really is. The pacing problems from seasons 1 and 2 are mostly worked out, the characters still surprise me at times, and the cases are generally compelling. I love the idea of a secret keeper, even if I agree with Harold that some secrets are better left dead and buried - literally in this case. The idea that someone could be watching me through a webcam without my knowledge terrifies me. However it is the last episode that holds the most action and promise. What is it with TV shows and weddings these days? Game of Thrones massacres everyone and suddenly everybody and their uncle wants to interrupt the happy day with bullets. Granted, this is one wedding that ought to be interrupted. I love Tom. Don't get me wrong, but there's been too much water under that bridge. This relationship is toxic. I think after you torture your partner or lie to them for your entire relationship in order to betray them, you really do need to call it quits and move on. Possibly to some intense psychotherapy. Other than that, this episode rocked because it included a whole score of action and had the entire team in on it. Aram's not in the bunker while everyone else is in the field. I also love the scene where Liz goes to get the ammo. It was well done from the acting to the visuals and actually increased tension even though I knew nothing was going to happen to her. It's the first time that slowing down a moment in a huge action scene made sense. (Time to take notes, Teen Wolf writers and your instance on slow-mo for no reason at all.) The only thing that could spoil this episode for me is if we still do not get the answers that Reddington promised Liz in it. That's a secret that should come out quickly.
Grade: B+ (overall) / A- for 3.17
Best Reason to Watch - bullet hole action / the promise that we will finally, finally know the whole story about Red's connection to Liz…or I'm going to be fuming next week
Best Scene / Best Action - wedding standoff
Best Action (no guns) - Tom vs. Gina
Best Plan - Liz goes to get the bag of ammo because she's the only one they will not shoot
Best Hurdler - Ressler, who jumps over people in a single bound on the way to apprehending the suspect
Best (Mostly) New Addition - Cynthia Panabaker
Best Dichotomy - Liz and Tom race out of the church in their Just Married car with guns blazing everywhere to the music of Safe and Sound by Electric President
Best Delivery Service - Safe Stop Pharmacy will deliver your Percocet and your Glock right to your door
Worst Hostage Situation - Aram won't tell Ressler which bomb wire to cut until he apologizes to Navabi
Biggest Pet Peeve - I swear this show makes zero sense sometimes. If they know someone is trying to kidnap Liz, why doesn't someone call the local police first? They are closer. In fact, they could have arrived before Red did to be honest. They do everything the hard way even when it is completely counterintuitive. Argh!
Biggest Matchmaker - Reddington, who counsels Harold to forgive his wife
Biggest Laugh - the suspect stops to smirk at Ressler while Navabi comes up behind and clocks him
Biggest Threat - Software that allows people to turn on your webcam without you knowing it. Hence why I bought a computer specifically without a webcam.
Biggest Ewww - cutting open a corpse and stuffing secrets into it and then unburying it and cutting the secrets out later
Biggest Twist - Liz's ex is working for Reddington
Best Twist - the kidnapped girl is actually the kidnapper to get revenge on her "father" who kidnapped her as a child
Most Common Sense - Navabi, who shows Liz the benefit to her hiding
Most Convenient / Saddest Commentary on Our Society - you can get a marriage license in 10 minutes online
Most Kick Butt - Gina, who could take down a normal mortal with a sweater
Most Wishy Washy - Liz , who can never decide whether she's pro-Red or anti-Red
Most Dedicated - Dembe digging up a dead body to retrieve Red's secrets
Least Surprising - Liz changes her mind about the baby, which can only mean that the baby will die / the letter the dying guy gave Liz is about her mom
The "Not You Again" Award - Why can't we get rid of Solomon? Seriously, he has outstayed his welcome. Like half a season ago. / Tom's sucky brainwash daddy, the Major, is back too? Say it isn't so. At least he's not likely to resurrect from a head shot.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Deirdre Lovejoy from The Wire and Bones / Leslie Hendrix from the Law & Order franchise
Best Quotes -
1. Reddington: "People say youth is wasted on the young. I disagree. I believe wisdom is wasted on the old. All you can do is part with it but very few will take it. Least of all the people closest to you. They want no part of it. No matter how often I warn you about Tom, you seem intent on discovering those perils for yourself."
2. Red: "It’s curious. I thought you were the cabal's most loyal soldier and yet here you are under the patronage of a new benefactor." Solomon: "I was loyal to the cabal, right up until they tried to kill me. I'm totally violating my non-compete agreement but what the hell."
3. Gina: "They say 2 things will survive a nuclear holocaust: cockroaches and Twinkies. You're a little of both."
4. Red: "Yes, they can help find your truck. The question is why on earth they would want to." Harold: "Because it's their patriotic duty." Red: "They're Mexicans."
5. Red: "You can answer me or I can turn that wall behind you into a Jackson Pollack."
Nominated Episode
Like most pilots, this one is heavy on exposition, world building, and character introduction. Unlike many pilots, this world is instantly fun. There's nothing like a treasure trove of quasi-magical, quasi-scientific artifacts to play with to create an endless supply of story. After the horror that is the final season of this series, it is great to go back to the beginning. While both Myka and Pete took awhile to grow on me, they do have a likeable if bickering partnership. Still it's named Warehouse 13 for a reason, as the warehouse that is the main and most interesting character. Artie's relationship with the warehouse, also contentious at times, provides for the foundation of the premise. It also provides for some awesome steampunk inventions like the Farnsworth. In short, this is everything The Librarians wants to be and never quite gets to. I love The Librarians, but the history behind the artifacts and the awesome back story they provide are what make Warehouse 13 better. Yes, the special effects can be laughable and it is largely procedural, but if you like sci-fi or just arcane knowledge, I highly suggest you check this show out. This blast from the past has me wanting to do a rewatch this summer - just not the last season. Avoid that like a cursed cougar comb.
Grade: B+
Ranking: already seen every episode
Audience - those who like sci-fi adventures with a procedural bent and anyone who likes arcane trivia and cool history facts
Best Reason to Watch - the artifacts and the cool history behind them (series overall)
Best Scene - Pete tells Myka she's NOT crazy
Best Back Story - Pete's dad / Myka's boyfriend
Best Visual - when Pete and Myka first see the warehouse and then they pan out to show how vast it is
Best Vocabulary - Mrs. Frederic who uses the word "bailiwick"
Most Likely to Make You Sound Nuts - Artie's list of questions
Most Kick Butt - Myka
Most Creepy Non-Frederic Entrance - Lena
Most Fun - Artie's zip lining through the warehouse
Most Needed - some kind of detection device for when warehouse objects leave the warehouse
Most Enthusiastic - Pete
Biggest Buzz Kill - Myka
Biggest Eye Roll - Myka must have failed at first aid because you never move a person in an accident like that until first making sure they have no neck or other injuries
Easiest Sell - Pete is in at the mention of cookies
Most Missed - Claudia
The "Good to See You" Award - I've missed Artie and Mrs. Frederic the most outside of Claudia
The "Welcome Back" Award - Michael Boatman from China Beach and Spin City
Best Quotes -
1. Myka: "You got some ID?" Artie: "No, we take the secret part seriously around here."
2. Pete: "Look I'm trained to take a bullet if necessary but I'm not sure how to stop a dead Italian cougar."
3. Pete: "So we're all converged here but I still have no idea what I'm supposed to do." Artie: "What you're supposed to do is hunt down whatever is threatening to ruin the world's day and neutralize it and bring it here. You're gonna snag it and bag it and tag it."
4. Myka: "From Denver to DC to a warehouse security guard in 6 months. That's is a career trajectory."
5. Myka: "You're gonna put me on a psych eval, aren't you?" Pete: "Why would I do that?" Myka: "Because you need to be able to depend on your partner." Pete: "Alright well then, you're just gonna have to depend on me to know that you're okay. We're gonna finish this case and we're gonna get out of here. We will."
Guest Reviews
BY Swanpride
Everything related to time is always difficult to handle well in movies and TV shows. This in mind, I was always a little bit fearful of the day the MCU would actually go there. I knew they had to, because of the time stone looming in the distance, but I wasn't necessarily keen on it. But now I feel way more comfortable with the notion, because the show just laid down some ground rules I approve of. Because if the events aren't changeable, than the show sidesteps a lot of possible problems, while still allowing the characters to make their own choices, because it's their choices which will shape said unchangeable future. There is naturally still the paradox that if the guy hadn't touched Charles, he would have never gotten the attention of Hydra and hadn't died as a result, but if we go at this from the angle that he was always meant to touch Charles and see the vision, it kind of makes sense. And it shows that not-knowing is sometimes a blessing. Overall the set-up made for an unusual tense episode, full of important revelations. And yet, it was also satisfying in a sense. As tragic as it was, it's nice that May and Andrew had one last moment with each other (though it felt a little bit of a drag at one point because they kept rehashing the same old discussions), that Daisy was finally forced to acknowledge her own vulnerability (not that I am necessarily happy that she got punched in the face multiple times), and that Malick got some sort of unintentional come-uppance for his actions.
Grade: B+
Best Reason to Watch - You ever wanted to hurt your brain, trying to grasp the concept of time?
Best Scene - Fitz explaining the fourth dimension. I especially loved how he called out for Jemma to help him translate.
Best Character - Daisy really shines in this episode.
Best Team-up - Coulson and Skye, sorry, Daisy
Most Missed - Mack, who has no business being laid up when Daisy runs into danger.
Best Prop - The robin. Such a nice, heart-breaking symbol.
Best Effects - Let's just give it to the director in general. This was a beautifully shot episode, nearly cinematic.
Best Action - May not trying to kick Simmons in the face.
Most Random Observation - So, Hydra can now just turn up and kidnap people wherever they want? Where are the Avengers when you need them....
Not So Random Observation - Hive might not actually be Ward, but having his memories, he seems to hold a grudge against Coulson. Does that mean he will also have feelings for Daisy? The very notion is extra creepy....
My Prediction of the Week - Malick saw either his own death, or something which happens to his daughter.
Best Quote:
1. Fitz: "There is no time! She glimpsed the fourth dimension. Time is an illusion, it's how we perceive the fourth dimension."
2. Lincoln: "I never saw the original Terminator." Coulson: "You are off the team."
3. Coulson: "Well, at least this day can't get any weirder." (later) "Day just got weirder."
BY Jessica VanWinkle
Welcome back, Juliette! This episode was so much better than the previous two, and I definitely think it was because Juliette returned. She just makes the show better. She’s still struggling to return to the real world, but I think she made the right decision to stay home and not do the movie. I loved the scene at the end when Avery brought Cadence to her. You can tell how much Juliette loves her daughter, and she’s trying to make things right. I know this has been hard on Avery, too, but I’m glad he’s making an effort with Juliette. The other good thing that happened this week was Luke and his son reconciling. I was getting tired of Luke and Cole fighting, and I’m happy that Luke listened and let Cole join the army. I also loved that Luke is going to work with Will again. I hope that this business decision will help both of their careers. This episode wasn’t all happiness, however, with Frankie drinking after 15 years of sobriety. I think Nashville has done a good job over the years of showing how difficult alcoholism is and that it really is a disease. This episode was no different. Frankie did take responsibility for his actions, and he didn’t blame Deacon for his drinking. It seems like he and Deacon are working on his issues, and Frankie is back to being sober. The other character I felt sorry for was Layla. This girl just can’t catch a break! She was so excited to work with Autumn Chase, and Autumn picked Gunnar and Scarlet over her. I am excited to see Gunnar and Scarlett on tour together (I love listening to them sing!), but I hope something good happens for Layla soon.
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch: Juliette is back!
Best Scene: The ending when Avery drops Cadence off at Juliette’s and tells her he is going to let her spend more time with their daughter.
Welcome Back: Hayden Panettiere
Character I Didn’t Miss: Maddie
Best Decision: Luke allows Cole join the army which stops the friction between the two of them
Best Friendship: Frankie and Deacon. They discussed their problems and Deacon supported Frankie at an AA meeting.
Worst Luck: Layla. Seriously, has anything good ever happened to her?
Best Quotes -
1. Will: “The only real success I’ve had is writing with somebody else.” Gunnar: “If only you knew more people to write songs with.” Scarlett: “I know, right? Like his CMA award winning friend who is also his roommate?” Gunnar: “Or an incredibly talented poet who just finished co-writing her own record?”
2. Autumn: “You’re not the only Harvard girl at this table.” Layla: “No way.” Autumn: “Harvard Elementary. Houston, Texas. Oh, and my first boyfriend also turned out to be gay.” Layla: “No. It’s like we’re the same person!”
3. Frankie: “I got one day sober, and after 15 years, that’s kind of humbling to say. A good buddy of mine reminded me that this is a daily battle, and thanks to him, my daughter, and my Lord, I’m winning today.”
Weekly Shows
Oh The 100, how you do frustrate me. I'd count the ways but we'd be here all month. Even the cathartic beat down Octavia gave Bellamy did nothing to assuage my need to eye roll through you. I think it's because Bellamy was practically giving Octavia permission like he was the noble martyr instead of the complete douchehat he's been all season long. And no, he's not absolved of his idiocy and betrayal just because he finally walked Pike over the line. I'm with Kane. The reason he did it matters but since I no longer care one jot for his character, he can go float himself while trying to figure it out. That would improve the death toll, which this episode stands at some douchey redshirt Pike goons. Given the way this season has turned out, it is highly likely that Pike will slither out of his current predicament and continue to be one big no vote for humanity. On a brighter note…nope, I've got nothing. Abby is now a pod person, Alie is on the rise, Clarke continues to think that her super special snowflake issues are the most important on the planet, Kane's walking into probable death, Bellamy and Monty are going to be redeemed way too soon, Ontari's still crazy, Murphy still needs to die (but he doesn't need to be raped), Lincoln and Lexa are still dead, Pike and Hannah and Arkadia in general are still alive, and Jasper should still not be in charge of anything more complicated than tying his shoes. And this is NOT close to the worst episode of the season. I've just hit the frustration saturation point. (Hmm, that would be a good TBBT episode title.) Oh how the mighty have fallen. At least this one had forward plot movement, which had better go somewhere fast.
Grade: C
Best Reason to Watch - um, we may finally be seeing the end of Pike in the next couple of episodes…if we're lucky…which we haven't been all season
Best Scene - Octavia beats up Bellamy
Best Moment - Jasper tells Clarke to shut up
Best Cameo - Finn, even if it is from prior episodes
Best Acting - Lindsey Morgan, who channeled her inner torture victim and her inner robot
Biggest Threat - Alie, just like we predicted all along
Biggest Eye Roll - Could Pike please die already? This is getting beyond frustrating.
Biggest Ewww - You'd think it would be Ontari poking out an ambassador's eyes with her thumbs, but it's really the slave and master sex fantasy thing Ontari has going on. There's not enough brain bleach in the world for this show sometimes.
Least Surprising - Is anyone at all surprised that Hannah sold out Monty to Pike? Anyone? Yeah, didn't think so. She needs to die too. Now!
The "You Had One Job" Award - Of course Jasper couldn't get the wristbands. Why did Abby even send him after them? He sucks up every plan.
The "Oh, I Don't Think So" Award - Nope, Bellamy gets ZERO credit for this. He still sucks as a human.
Best Quotes -
1. Alie: "With everything I can do for you, why would you do this?" Raven: "Because you stole my memories, you crazy b**."
2. Octavia (to Bellamy): "You're dead to me."
3. Murphy: "We talked about restraint." Ontari: "You told me not to kill him." Murphy: "Next time I'll be more specific."
4. Jasper: "Shut up! I don't care, okay? You really are the Angel of Death, aren't you?"
5. Octavia: "To stop me, you're gonna have to kill me." Bellamy: "She hopes it's a trap." Octavia: "He's coming too. We'll need a hostage to trade for Monty." Kane: "It's a good plan. He stays chained. Gag him." Miller: "With all due respect…" Kane: "He's the enemy. Do what I said."
While neither of the subplots in this episode had me cheering, they did not make me want to fast forward either. These days, that's actually a win. I still find Raj and Howard annoying but Sheldon and Amy make up for that. Talk about two people who should never play Never Have I Ever. I'm pretty sure you have to experience life to do that. I was pleasantly surprised that Penny did not use a science-based item but I'm not so sure about using it at her expense. Same thing with her crack about Leonard's hat. Is it just me or are these guys getting meaner to each other every season? Time to dial it back.
Grade: C
Best Reason to Watch - character interaction
Best Moment - Bernadette is swaddled in the huge teddy bear Raj brought
Best Plan - having an emergency account, especially if you have a spend-happy spouse
Worst Game of Never Have I Ever - Amy and Sheldon
Most Likely to Kill a Game - Sheldon
The "I Agree" Award - Howard needs to step up in this marriage or shut up about Raj doing it. I also agree that Raj is ultracreepy with this.
Best Quotes -
1. Sheldon: "Well cell service is down to one bar so if anyone needs medical attention or to tell a stranger their political views are stupid, now's the time."
2. Bernadette: "You saw him carrying that." Howard: "Astronauts saw him carrying it."
3. Leonard: "Whatcha you doing?" Sheldon: "I was enjoying some virtual reality until you ruined it with your actual face."
I really love the vibe this show has. It isn't a straight up procedural but it doesn't drag out the mytharc either. It makes for a great mix that keeps the pace moving swiftly. It also helps that I find both Alice and Ben/Christopher compelling characters. Alice isn't whining and putting life on hold because she trusted him and Ben often displays sorrow for his role in Alice's betrayal. I'm not buying the "really in love" bit. He might think he's in love but it's highly possible that he's conning himself. He's not going the way of Leverage anytime soon. My favorite character by far though is Reggie. He's a "tell it like it is" man and he never pulls punches. It makes me laugh. They better not keep him off the show for too long while he tours Mexico. If not for my sake, then for Ben's. He screws up the minute Reggie is away.
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - they are doing a great job of combining the mytharc with the procedural
Best Scene - Reggie tells Ben not to tell Margot about Alice
Best Bait - Alice puts the perfect obituary in the paper to entice Ben to use it
Best Character Interaction - Ben and Reggie
Best Plan - Dao bugs Alice's home
Worst Plan - going undercover as part of a drug trial, especially when you are given the experimental drug
Biggest Hmm - How is it possible that the killer didn't have paparazzi following his every waking moment, making it impossible for him to sneak off and plant evidence?
Least Surprising - the guy who was on trial is the killer
Most Poetic Justice - Miss Gullible takes out the killer
The "Well That Was Quick" Award - Sophie found that forger in no time. I expected it to take at least until next week.
The "Smarter Than He Looks" Award - Danny asks a scientific question to keep the doctor lecturing long enough for Sophie to hack his computer
The "Welcome Back" Award - Alan Ruck from Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Spin City / Amanda Foreman from Felicity and Alias
Best Quotes -
1. Reggie: "You are getting on that plane if I have to fold you down to travel side and check you in as baggage." Ben: "I'm going. I'm leaving right now." Reggie: "When? Right after you run across the street and apologize to her for ruining her life? You think she's gonna forgive you? Ben, she's gonna stab you in the chest with a car key."
2. Reggie: "Love is a drug, brother. You're on drugs. I'm gonna be your sponsor. I'm gonna keep you sober and I'm gonna keep Alice alive cause if you tell Margot, I promise you. There'll be no Alice Vaughan."
3. Reggie: "You're kidding me. I leave you two alone for 2 minutes. Now we have an international incident."
4. Dao: "I come in peace." Alice: "I'm glad. Now please go in peace."
5. Alice: "That's just what I need. A 10 am meeting with a murderer."
One of the advantages of being an adult is that you no longer have to worry about being cool. You can actually choose to be yourself and do the things you like. Therefore every single thing about Mike and Martina drove me nuts in this episode. They came off looking much younger than their children, who were both incredibly dumb in this episode as well. The only saving grace was Bob and Alice.
Grade: C
Best Reason to Watch - the snark
Best Scene - Bob keeps his old partner from arresting Ethan and the girls
Best Character Interaction - Bob and Alice
Best Reference - Saved by the Bell
Biggest Children - Martina and Mike pretend to take drugs and hot tub naked to feel cool. What are they? In high school?
Smartest Guy in the Room - Ethan
Dumbest One in the Room - Stella, who needs to be good at something or stop wasting space
Best Quotes -
1. Martina: "I'll get you a tissue." Anne: "Thank you, Martina, and could that tissue be made of glass and filled with vodka."
2. Bob: "Alice, I don't know why a gorgeous woman like you puts up with a guy like me, but how about you and I go eat something fancy at someplace stupid past our bedtime?"
3. Martina: "What do we do? Bail? Would that be rude?" Mike: "Are you suggesting we screw them just to be polite?"
4. Alice: "I work in a prison. Food on a tray is not a novelty to me." Bob: "Well I envy that. You know where you stand when you're holding a tray." Alice: "And you know where you lie when you get clocked with one in a prison brawl."
5. Martina: "What Mike means is we love you all…" Mike: "But sometimes we don't."
Nostalgia works best when you actually miss what you're reminiscing about. That's why The Goldbergs' ode to The Goonies resonated more with me than the one for Ferris Bueller's Day Off. In the same way, I would have found this stronger if it had been playing off Beverly Hills 90210 than Melrose Place. Of course then it would have focused more on Eddie than Jessica…so maybe just a totally different crazy universe. I did like the spoof on the convoluted twists and back stabbing that came with both shows. Mostly though I love that it ended up centering upon Jessica and Honey's friendship and how important it is to both of them. Score one for continuity as well since the whole Melrose thing started in season 1. I could have done without tarnishing Emery's character though. He's my favorite of the kid characters.
Grade: B-
Best Reason to Watch - nostalgia if you watched Melrose Place in the 90's
Best Scene - Jessica reassures Honey that they will always be friends
Best Guest Star - Courtney Thorne-Smith from of course, Melrose Place
Best Puppy Eyes - Evan
Worst Reference - Melrose Place and Honey's jogging shorts
Biggest Say What? - Emery is actually the least well-adjusted of the Huang kids? Say it isn't so.
Most Likely to Get a Job as a PI - Honey
Most Spot On - the Melrose-type music
The "Take It While You've Got It" Award - In a world of 16 episodes and fewer per season for many shows, 32 seems oversized. Jessica's going to flip in the future when she learns about that series of TV movies posing as a show called Sherlock.
Best Quotes -
1. Honey: "I've seen what those women have to say when I'm in the room and I can't imagine what they say when I'm not. I didn't want them to turn you against me. This neighborhood was unbearable for me before you got here and I don't want to lose you." Jessica: "Honey, I promise you that will never happen. I got your back, girl."
2. Jessica: "This whole time I thought I was the queen, controlling the chessboard. Turns out I was just a pawn in your little game." Honey: "I am so sorry, Jessica." Jessica: "For what? This was amazing. It was like real-life Melrose Place but even better because I was in it. Jessica Place."
3. Louise: "Son, I'm gonna level with you. This is strange, like 'I don't want to tell your mother' strange. Let's find come up with a better way to channel your energies, a way we're okay with other people knowing about."
4. Deirdre: "You know, I get why you did what you did to me - out of loyalty to your friend. The same reason why I'm so b** to you, for Sarah." Honey: "Who is Sarah?" Deirdre: "Marvin's ex-wife, my best friend."
5. Deirdre: "I'm surprised you showed up, Honey. I didn't think you liked this show." Honey: "I don't but I'm always happy to spend time at Jessica's house where I feel welcome - unlike your house, Deirdre."
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - gym revolution
Best Reference - Back to School
Best Surprise - the jocks aren't made to look too awful
Biggest Miracle - When did gym class become the leader of democracy? Got to love fiction.
Biggest Huh? - How did Beverly get on board that quickly to Erica leaving home?
Biggest Middle School Betrayal - Adam, because in middle school your friends are where you live
Most Innovative - Mellor agrees to substitute D & D for basketball in order to make a point
The "Nope, Just Nope" Award - homeschooling should never be a college choice
Best Quotes -
1. Taz: "We're trying our best. We're just not good at it like you. Do you have any idea how it feels to suck so bad?" Adam: "Actually I do. When I play basketball."
2. Beverly: "Look I wanted to apologize for your dad. Some people just don't understand the boundary between parent and child." Erica: "Are you high on nail polish?"
3. Erica: "This is my dream." Murray: "And it's my dream is to have one less moron living in this house. I'll help you."
4. Beverly: "Murray, I'm usually the irrational one who keeps our children from enjoying their lives, not you."
5. Murray: "We can't fire him. He's got tenure, but the point is you are going to Goldberg U."
This is my least favorite episode so far, largely because the pathos of the case has covered up the series' flaws in the first three. Yeah, you can't get more ready to tug at the heartstrings than terminal patients unless its sick kids. The problem is that this episode felt like they were trying too hard. It was angst outdoing angst caused by Pantierre acting like an idiot and then expecting everyone else to solve the situation she created. I like Pantierre but I don't like her that much. She annoyed me here. Add to it the love triangle coming back full force and I can see this show toppling over like a tree in a tornado. It's going to live and die by the case of the week for me and this one did not cut it.
Grade: C-
Best Reason to Watch - my politically correct self says the terminal patients fighting for their right to live one more day but really it's all about the eye candy in this one
Best Eye Candy of the Season - Gorham in a wifebeater welding
Biggest Laugh - Pantierre falls asleep in the middle of kissing Harrison
Biggest Say What? - Pantierre and Max are still married technically? Say what? And they had their kids after they split up?
Most…Um, Interesting Approach - Pantierre puts the trial study on Craig's list
Most Obnoxious - Pantierre in this episode, given she has no basic understanding of office politics at all
The "It's Baaaack!!" Award - that freaking, ugly love triangle
The "Well That Was Quick" Award - the cliffhanger patient fevers lasted all of 3.7 seconds before they a magically cured and life goes on
The "Welcome Back" Award - Christopher Gorham from Covert Affairs
Best Quotes -
1. Pantierre: "How are you?" Evan: "Still terminal but I should be over it in a few weeks."
2. Callahan: "How can I upgrade your work experience?" Ji-Sung: "Remove yourself from it."
3. Callahan: "Hey, that's radioactive. What are you doing?" Pantierre: "Chill, Silkwood. It's just a demo."
4. Ji-Sung: "I bet you found out I minored in art history so you took a crash course in Wikipedia, right?"
5. Pantierre: "So let's get a divorce…I can't help feeling like I'm losing you all over again." Max: "We have always defied convention. Now we're just gonna riff on that."
After a very slow start, iZombie is back to season 1 level. While I am still iffy on Major becoming a zombie again, having him arrested puts our core group in real jeopardy. They are going to have to tell Clive the truth, which makes more sense out of this sudden need to show Clive as a lone wolf who always goes by the book. They really hit that theme hard in this episode. That and Lou bringing up zombies makes me 95% sure that Clive will know the truth by the end of the season and probably sooner. For the record, I'm good with that. I'm also good with Lou sticking around awhile more. Here's hoping that he is just a little shady and not an outright bad cop. As for Liv, I wouldn't mind a little type A brain sometime. It certainly allows Liv to get things done. She might want to keep a some of that on stock. It's not as much fun as leftover happy brain Major was jonesing on, but it's powerful in its own right. I'm not near as crazy about Blaine's amnesia (one cardinal rule of TV - nothing gets better with amnesia), but the actor has to love getting to switch things up.
Grade - B
Best Reason to Watch - all the plot lines are coming together nicely
Best Scene - the ending when Major is arrested because it makes for a great cliffhanger
Best Manipulator - Lou, who says everything that Type A Brain Liv wants to hear
Best Reference - the musical Oklahoma / Memento / Pinocchio
Best (Non) Reaction - Mr. Boss' secretary to Liv taking down the muscle
Best Transformation - Gilda's zombie look
Worst Transformation - Major's zombie look
Biggest Hmmm - I'm not sure if I agree with Clive or Lou in this case
Biggest Laugh - Major's Oklahoma kick
Biggest Self-Promotion - now that Blaine has no memory Don E is taking over the illicit drug trade
The "Welcome Back" Award - Detective Lou / Brody, the frat douche
Best Quotes -
1. Dale: "Well if it isn't Blaine John DeBeers McDonough Doe Jingleheimer Schmidt. Are you here to confess?" Blaine: "Uh, I was just looking for the morgue." Clive: "Picking up or dropping off?"
2. Ravi: "I don't see any post-concussion red flags but if your memory loss persists, you should get a MRI or a CT scan. Maybe a PET scan. Anything with an acronym really…just as long as it tests brain function."
3. Ravi: "Yeah um…remember how I was telling you about that guy whose life you ruined. You know how you turned his fiancé into a zombie, then cost him his job, killed a bunch of kids that were close to him, kidnapped him, locked him in a freezer, and tortured him before finally stabbing him to death. Yeah, this is him." Major: "Hey."
4. Ravi: "You're the Chaos Killer." Major: "Technically I'm the Chaos Kidnapper. No one is dead. They're frozen." Ravi: "In preparation for their long-haul interstellar journey?"
5. Ravi: "Alright there are some ethical hurdles I need to get my head around." Major: "He's planning on killing Liv and me as soon as I'm done with that zombie list." Ravi: "Okay, ethical hurdle cleared. I'll go prepare a syringe."
Note - When I started marathoning this, I thought I would be caught up at this point. Imagine my surprise when I learned Canada is already on season 4. (Ruh roh.) So I'm going to take this show on the American schedule and treat it like a weekly show now instead of trying to catch up to Canada.
I first heard about Motive when I got a chance to e-mail interview Brendan Penny who plays Lucas. To be honest, I thought the concept was bizarre and anti-climactic. I mean half the fun of a crime procedural is to see how much faster you can figure out the killer than the detectives. After a zillion procedurals watched, I was pretty good at it. Then I watched the first episode of Motive and I was hooked. It is so much harder to figure out the motive. Some I get it fairly quickly but there are others that leave me completely stumped. Therefore, I recommend even those who normally do not like procedurals to try this one out. It might still be a dude for you, but that twist may make all the difference. Basically they introduce the killer and the victim in the cold open. They even tell you which is which. Here's a hint - the one that seems shady is always the victim while the killer is most likely to be portrayed as in the running for sainthood. From there it is up to partners Angie and Vega to investigate the crime while the audience tries to suss out the motive. Oh, and for the record, I do not think there will ever be anything romantic between Angie and Vega even though they are partners of the opposite gender. Score one right there!
Best Reason to Watch - the twist of knowing the killer but guessing the motive
Best Character Interaction - Angie and Vega
Best Justice - the killer accidentally poisons himself too
Best Buds - Angie and Betty
Best Puns - Vega and Angie
Best Impersonation of a Dominatrix - Angie
Most Tight Knit Family - the Kovach family kills together for their family's honor
Most Sympathetic - the woman who killed her ex's mom so her kid would have a better chance
Most Evil - the woman who keeps her nanny's passport so she cannot go home to see her sick mother
Most Surprising Motive - it ended up being fraud instead of the sex trade or psycho mom competition
Biggest Twist - the victim is the killer's husband
Biggest Hmm - Why would a prominent business man NOT look into the guy who is engaged to his daughter? I would think it would be standard fare for the rich to check out anyone new and that close for frauds.
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Vega's dad
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - Victor Garber from Alias, The Flash, and Legends of Tomorrow / Bonnie Somerville from Code Black / Ally Sheedy from my childhood
Best Quotes -
1. Lucas: "I don't like this guy getting a deal." Betty: "I don't like waiting this long for a drink."
2. Donnie: "Who died and made you mother?" Brent: "Mom."
3. Lucas: "Would you like a receipt for your illegal guns?"
4. Angie: "This was clean, right?" Betty: "The alcohol should kill just about anything."
5. Mark:" "Where's the suit?" Angie: "I spilled coffee on it." Mark: "A little vinegar and water will take that out." Angie: "Yeah, so will the dry cleaner."
I didn't laugh as much in this episode but I still adore the bromance. I'm a big fan of them building bedrock and gelling as partners. In some ways this reminds me of Almost Human, without the fancy machines that make whatever you want without having to go to the store. Gerald did get annoying about halfway through though so he might be better in small doses. Plus seeing him makes me miss Backstrom, the ultimate cranky detective. Like last time, the action remained topnotch and a whole lot of fun.
Grade: B-
Best Reason to Watch - the bedrock
Best Scene - warehouse fight
Best Action - Lee and Gerald handcuffed together taking out the bad guys
Best (If Predictable) Back Story - Gerald took the blame as kids and kept Carter out of trouble
Best Reference - 48 Hrs
Worst Plan - running into a steel reinforced door / cop prison break
Biggest Life of the Party - Lee, who literally swings from the chandelier
Most Unobservant - the guy who does not see the masked men standing in his kitchen
Sweetest Gesture - the kid gives Gerald his ice cream cone
The "Beginning of a Bad Joke" Award - How many guys does it take to take down a petty thief? Apparently 3 and 2 of them are cops.
Best Quotes -
1. Lee: "In China it's one strike and out. Not commit one crime, get 2 crimes free."
2. Lee: "Sleight of hand and misdirection, the tools of a pickpocket." Jay: "I prefer morally flexible freelance master of the impossible."
3. Carter: "You're like the world's worst action figure. Detective Nerd. Pull his cord and hear him say something corny."
4. Carter: "I just want you to know this is going in my Yelp review. The manager tried to kill me. 3 stars out of 5."
5. Carter: "You didn't want him to know? You didn't even want a thank you?" Lee: "Would it have involved a hug?" Carter: "Definitely." Lee: "Well then I'm content with my decision."
~The case was transparent, Camille was emoangsty, and there was way, way, way, way, way too much time devoted to the suckage that is Kirsten and Cameron shipping. Ugh, ugh, and triple ugh!
Grade: D+
Best Reason to Watch - Linus
Best Scene - Fisher and Danny kind of reconcile at the end
Best Reference - Agatha Christie
Best Plan - Maggie benches Cameron, who is still channeling his inner idiot
Dumbest Plan - leaving the criminal alone in your house after telling him that you're kicking him out
Biggest Blech - everything Kirsten and Cameron
Most Emoangsty - Camille's relationship with her brother
Most Insulting - Cameron thinks that tall and blonde are Kirsten's biggest strengths
Most in Need of a Trip to Lowe's - Kirsten, who needs Stiles' crime board instead of doing math on the walls
Most Gargantuan Eye Roll in the History of TV - the killer is a Kirsten and Cameron shipper
Most Easily Manipulated - Linus by Theo
Least Sensical - How can Kirsten see something in a memory that the person had their back to? Hrmm.
Least Surprising - the psychologist did it / Theo stole all Linus' stuff
The "It Doesn't Suit" Award - Camille really doesn't seem like a Millie at all
Best Quotes -
1. Danny: "NSA recruits out of high school?" Cameron: "LAPD recruits out of Betty Ford?" Danny: "Punk." Cameron: "Drunk."
2. Kirsten: "He is your brother." Theo: "See, this one's got a heart." Camille: "Yeah, that's a recent development. Not sure I like it."
3. Cameron: "I'm gonna go see a psychologist." Camille: "About time." Cameron: "Heard that, Millie."
4. Joe: "I was a major stoner back then…more major than now."
5. Blake: "No, I..I am the giver of peace." Cameron: "To everyone but yourself." Blake: "That's why when I'm done with you, I'm going to give myself a peace that I have never known." Cameron: "I've seen what's on the other side, Dr. Blake, and I promise someone like you will never find peace there."
Well that was heavenly…in the Supernatural sense - annoying, boring, drawn out, and ultimately anticlimactic. Yep, pretty much sums up SPN angels AND this episode. Unless Amara takes out Lucifer and Cas, there will be no point to having Lucifer on again at all. If Chuck comes back as God and not a prophet, this storyline will officially get an F from me. I am so sick and tired of angels and Supernatural's ugly version of God. Still the real problem is that once again we're coming towards the end of the season and it's nothing more than a bunch of bait and switch. Of course the weapon didn't work. Did anyone think it would? It's all ho hum. I'd rather take these last few episodes and do monsters of the week. It's not like Dean and Sam had anything to do this episode except emoangst and exposit. Ugh!
Grade: D
Best Reason to Watch - Amara
Best Reason to Fast Forward - everything that takes place in heaven
Best Scene - Sam tells Dean to let Cas do what he wants
Best Return - Crowley to being evil instead of a slave or human
Best Shout Out - Supernatural goes to my town again
Biggest Hmmm - Rowena was dead. She should have stayed dead. What's up with people still coming back from the dead on this show? Enough is enough.
Biggest Ewww - sticky cobwebs
Most Manipulative - actually Rowena out manipulates even Lucifer here
The "Not You Again" Award - Mark Pellegrino needs to find a new role. I'm thoroughly sick of Lucifer.
Best Quotes -
1. Sam: "Dean, this is exactly how we screw ourselves. We make the heart choice instead of the smart choice." Dean: "Oh okay, thank you Dr. Phil. Cas is family." Sam: "Yes and his choice deserves to be respected." Dean: "Even if it kills him?" Crowley: "It's killing me. I would rather stick white-hot skewers in my eyes than listen to you two b** bicker."
2. Dean: "Nice digs. The Crypt Keeper out of town?"
3. Jofiel: "It's so perfect. Castiel, one of heaven's most wanted, possessed by heaven's most hated."
4. Crowley: "Honestly, your cynicism is depressing."
5. Crowley: "First impressions can be deceiving, Moose. For instance, I once thought of you as dull and plodding. Oh never mind, bad analogy."
This show reminds me a bit of The Walking Dead. There are moments of intense action interspersed with a whole lot of nothing. Still the pacing is better than TWD and they've handled a good chunk of the exposition in the first two episodes so hopefully things will even out. Wynonna is your modern hero in that she really wants nothing to do with the whole savior business but her attachment to her younger sister and her destiny lock her in the small town of Purgatory. Relation to Wyatt Earp, her family is cursed to hunt revenants (demons) of the outlaws Wyatt killed. Why? We haven't gotten that far yet. It has something to do with the fact that Doc Holliday is still around and kicking. For some reason this has made him bitter towards the entire Earp family so he's helping the revenants. Meanwhile Wynonna is stuck with the most dour man alive, Deputy Dolls. It's a silly name so you know this whole thing is based off of a comic. Dolls has zero sense of humor which actually makes his character extremely off-putting. The man needs a personality stat.
Grade: B-
Best Reason to Watch - action
Best Scene - Wynonna takes out the revenants that kidnapped Waverly
MVP - the music
Best Character Interaction - Wynonna and Waverly
Best Upgrade - instead of horses, it's motorcycles
Best Twist - Wynonna accidentally shot her father
Best Sam Winchester Impression - Waverly and her massive research
Biggest Douche - Dolls and his lack of any kind of humor at all
Most in Need of Target Practice - Wynonna
Most Aptly Named - the town of Purgatory
Most Interesting Back Story - the spirits of old gunslingers haunt the Earp family as revenants
Most Snarky - Wynonna
Most Disgusting - ripping out someone's tongue and stabbing someone in the eyeball
Most Kick Butt - Wynonna
Strangest Twist - Doc Holiday is alive too
The "What a Difference a Demon Attack Makes" Award - Gus certainly changes her tune about Wynonna after demons attack her and take Waverly
The "Welcome Back" Award - Melanie Scrofano from Damien
Best Quotes -
1. Revenant: "Hey, this ain't Wyatt's gun." Wynonna: "Ugly and dumb. You sure we haven't dated?"
2. Levi: "You're just a girl." Wynonna: "I am THE girl with the big a** gun and one by one I am going to blow you all to hell."
3. Doc: "Are you implying Wyatt Earp was a hypocrite?" Wynonna: "I'm saying crazy runs in the family."
4. Revenant: "He can only be activated by a blood sacrifice." Doc: "You outlaws sure have gotten dramatic since you were human."
5. Wynonna: "Have a little faith. We've survived hotdog stuffed crust pizza so I think we've got this."
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