Sunday, August 31, 2014

Teen Wolf - 4.10 - Monstrous - Recap and Episode Awards

NOTE:  If you've come looking for answers, I am fresh out.  Baffled is an understatement.  This week's season's Teen Wolf plot has me like:

Previously - Peter was a crazy vengeful loon, Kate burnt down the Hale House, Peter was in a coma, Stiles was a liar, Malia walked out, Granny Banshee drove Meredith insane, CrazyPants Douche Orderly died naming Meredith as Benefactor, and Meredith did NOT die.

Sometime in monsoon season, yet another new young blond runs from assassins at Beacon Hills High at night. She may be smarter than IED's Blonde Idiot, but is that really saying much? In true horror fashion, she trips and falls. Good thing Tall Prep Blond is there to help her. Yeah, him again. He gets winged by an arrow for his trouble while New Dumb Blonde runs for the lacrosse field, where all bad guys have a key to the stadium lights. At least 6 assassins train laser sights on them so TPB tells her to close her eyes. With the cold opens this year I expect their demise, but nope. Kick Butt Kira to the rescue - she slices arrows while the two blonds run. It is refreshing to see Kira so competent. May it continue the next 2 episodes. She evidently calls Scott as he rounds up Liam for the assist. One small hitch: Liam is in no way putting his life on the line again. Liam: "More assassins?" Right there with you, buddy. They've come out of the woodwork these days. Scott realizes his kid beta is fittingly scared and takes time from people saving to reassure him. Liam: "I mean how are you all still alive?" No one knows. Scott: "Not all of us are." Ouch! That hurts but I love how they aren't glossing over significant deaths this season. Scott stops to take Liam home causing most fans to aww but for me it slows the story. Mama McCall, however, tries to slow Stiles, whom I guess was concussed last episode although there's no physical sign of trauma. Not eve a bruise. Mama: "The doctor said you're not leaving without a CT scan." Stiles: "We still haven't paid for the last one." Sigh. She tries reason next. Meredith isn't talking yet so it's a standoff. Mama: "Even if I let you go, what would you do?" Stiles subsides but not before sending her on a scavenger hunt for a cassette player after they debate the difference between tapes and cassettes. For the record, tapes in Mama McCall and my generation usually means VCR tapes, thus the clarification. Stiles pulls out CrazyPants DoucheOrderly's cassette of Granny Banshee and methinks there's more to this whole thing. Or it's more filler. Take your pick.

At the police station, they also make zero progress so Kira, 2. Everyone else, 0. Lydia: "What did she say?" Sheriff: "Hard to tell. There were words. I'm not sure there were actual sentences." That's never a good sign. Sheriff: "I think we need a psychologist…or a medium." Lydia questions if Meredith is competent to answer. I question if Lydia has a concussion too. I agree with Sheriff. "This girl's practically a criminal mastermind." Oh I hope it's true Sheriff, since Meredith's the most intriguing character this season. She got Kate to open the vault, allied with CrazyPants, made a hit list, and arranged wire transfers. All from Eichen House. There has to be more than 2 players here. Lydia looks for motive, but Sheriff's more interested in stopping the money flow so no one else dies. As long as they continue teaming up Lydia and Sheriff, I'm good. Over at Deaton's, Scott and Kira share "missed you" kisses. MamaFox is better, so Kira's back to save the day. She brought the remains of Satomi's pack, who created a small army judging by the numbers. So where were they when Deucalion arrived? Together they'd have defeated him in no time and spared us Demon Wolf monologues and Derek torture. Alas this many people also means a high risk of discovery so time to move. Lydia's too busy sleeping at the precinct the morning Sheriff should have bullet removal surgery. Thought I forgot, didn't you Jeff? Sheriff isn't happy, but she won't budge without answers. Lydia: "Did they get anything out of her?" Sheriff: "Should have gone with the medium." Ha! CrazyPants' office is a bust too. Lydia wants to talk to Meredith but for once Sheriff says no, since she's a civilian and Meredith may be a criminal mastermind. Sadly he gives in and I wonder exactly how long it takes morphine to wear off. Is he still high? Lydia blames it all on CrazyPants while I scream at her not to trust Meredith, who's more fun evil. Meredith wants to help but will only talk to one person…Peter Hale. Suddenly my theory about Peter and an evil cabal rise from the cold, dead ashes of last week's arson for hire plot. If Peter's your go-to guy, you have to be evil.

Meanwhile at the hospital, Mama McCall pauses the scavenger hunt to bring Stiles….Malia. Good to see you before half the episode is over this time. They awkwardly recap last night's Benefactor horror stories before uncomfortable silence sets in. Malia is all matter of fact before heading out. Right until she finds the door locked. Hmmm. Is Mama McCall playing matchmaker all of a sudden? That's out of character. Malia: "I could break it." Stiles: "How about you not? Already owe this hospital enough money." Ha and oh how sad! Just when I thought things couldn't get more agonizing, Stiles takes a page from Allison's book and talks about Mama McCall but really means himself. Yes, it is as excruciating as it sounds. Suffice to say Stiles apologizes in such a roundabout manner a race track might be forming in that hospital room. Malia: "I don't have much practice in things like forgiveness. Some things I'm picking up fast, but other things are like…" Stiles: "Like math?" Malia: "I hate math." Stiles: "Do you hate me?" Malia: "I like you, Stiles. I like you a lot." Stiles: "Yeah, I can work with that." They mack too so we should get back to the story in 3, 2…what the heck? The hospital door opens by itself. Does season 5 revolve around the Ghost Shipper of Beacon Hills Memorial? I'm nixing that right now! Pour salt and burn the whole place to ash. Stiles leaves the hospital to track down the elusive cassette player in its natural habitat, his room. I give up on Beacon Hills teens. Malia and he listen to Granny confront CrazyPants about taping her and refusing to return to Eichen House since she knows he'll kill her. Malia and Stiles ponder where the tape takes place, but it's pretty obvious it’s the lake house if only to get their money's worth from that set. Finally Malia recognizes the record playing in the background. I guess that time with Lydia was fruitful. Granny was there when she predicted the dead pool list so maybe something there can stop it. Off to the lake house, they go.

Enter Argent kicking assassin butt. He finds a stash of weed…er, yellow wolfsbane(?), and glares at it before heading to the family factory where he stores the fancy flower in his safe. Yeah, that can't be good. Please don't be shady, Argent. I like you. He's startled midway by footprints in the dust and almost shoots Scott when a stray arrow comes his way. Maybe it's Allison's ghost because there's no explanation as to where it came from, just Scott playing interference with an irate Tall Prep Blond. Argent: "Scott if you're bringing guests, you could have called." Rude much, Scott. Satomi has past issues with Argent so it gets awkward once again. Scott intervenes but it's natural to be skittish when hunters are on your butt. Argent says they aren't hunters now that they are getting paid, but they probably are lying in wait to attack. So more good news then. Kira: "So we're not safe here." Satomi: "We're not safe anywhere." In Beacon Hills? Imagine that. Argent reminds Scott that he's the biggest dead pool target, but Scott has faith it will work out based on all those other plans that worked so well I'm sure. The pack prepares for a battle while Satomi's group trepidates. How did they survive without fighting skills of their own? Derek: "They've got claws and fangs but they're not fighters." Scott: "That's why I called you." Derek reminds Scott that he's pretty much human now, so Braden steps up as extra muscle. Kira: "Am I the only one still hoping this is all just a false alarm?" Oh Kira, stop talking and just yield a sword. It's better for everyone. Tall Prep Blond interrupts to be the voice of doom and gloom. You can die anytime now, sir. No new blonds. To counter the spirit of despair, Derek channels his inner Independence Day rallying cry. "Then let's send a message. Let's make tonight perfectly clear to anyone with a copy of that list. It doesn't matter if they're professional assassins, hunters, or an amateur who just picked up a gun. Anyone who thinks they can hunt and kill us for money is going to be put on another list, our list. They get to be a name on our dead pool." Derek, you are so much more awesome now that you're human. Can we keep you this way?

Back at the precinct, Peter is unimpressed by Meredith. Lydia reminds him that Meredith is a banshee, whatever that means, and I still hope she's a crazy smart villain. Peter not so much. "Oh I think that girl's pilot light went out a long time ago. Sheriff, not to question the unquestionably sterling reputation of your department, but are you absolutely sure you got the one?" Ha! I wouldn't take a Beacon Hills cop's word as gospel myself these days. Sheriff finds it less funny, so Peter starts the interrogation asking about his money. Peter, always with the priorities. Meredith just stares while dramatic music wails. She touches his face and I'm surprised Parrish/Peter doesn't stop her, but when Peter grabs Meredith's arm, Parrish jumps right in. Double standard much. As far as you know, Meredith is the Benefactor and far more dangerous than she appears. Still Peter isn't completely innocent because Meredith remarks on his burns being gone as an on-looking Lydia gasps. Peter goes on the offensive, calling Meredith out for putting his daughter and nephew on the list. It's very creepy to hear Peter call Malia his daughter. Let's not ever again. Meredith: "You said it had to be kept secret." Either Peter has been taking acting lessons from Mama McCall or he's genuinely confused. "Meredith, allow me to remind you yet again, we have never met. Ever." Meredith: "You don't remember?" Peter: "No, but maybe you do." He claws Meredith at the base of the neck and enters her memories. For some reason, I thought that only worked on werewolves but I guess not. They should have done that with some of the other supernatural creatures in Beacon Hills. Lydia races in and tells Sheriff and Parrish not to separate them or it could kill them both. Instead she leans in and interprets Meredith's rambling.

It all starts with Meredith's ears bleeding in the White Room, reminiscent to when she made Lydia's ears bleed at Eichen House. She's rushed to Beacon Hills Memorial, the oldest looking 11/14/16 year old ever. (The paperwork says she was born in 1998 but entered the hospital on 12/10/09. Even if the year is written first she'd be 14, when it clearly says she's 16. Makes no sense. She's also diagnosed with acute insomnia. I'd have gone with stroke.) Because even then the hospital couldn't afford private rooms, Meredith lies beside Peter, who is 38. (Again say what? In Visionary he's no more than a few years older than Derek, making Derek a very well-preserved 35 year old. At least the doctor confirms Peter'd be dead if not a werewolf.) Then Lydia says they were in the hospital together right after the fire, confirming Teen Wolf currently takes place in 2016 since the fire was 7 years ago. Oh forget it. Absolutely nothing makes sense in this episode, especially the timeline. Lydia: "Meredith could hear him." Sheriff: "Hear what?" Lydia: "Everything." Poor girl. Trapped in Peter's mind? No wonder she went insane. Meredith listened to Peter's unconscious rantings for weeks, as his stream of consciousness raving went straight into her brain and let's just say Peter was not in a good place. He blamed Talia for the fire because he felt she made them weak. "And what happens to the weakest in the herd? They get picked off by predators. We used to be the apex predators until Talia turned us into sheep." He wanted revenge and unconsciously created the dead pool plan, complete with hiring assassins with his bearer bonds. "I will obliterate the weak and remake the supernatural of Beacon Hills in my image." It's terrifying. He even goes so far as to suggest assassins, like Malia's mom, and then branching out to amateurs. "When it comes down to it, everyone can be corrupted by money." Just spit balling here but I bet Malia's mom is coming back since they keep mentioning her and Stiles is definitely taking Blond Assassin's blood money to pay bills.

Peter releases Meredith, falling to the ground himself while Parrish catches Meredith. For reasons I don't get, Sheriff pulls a gun on him. Peter: "Are you kidding me?" I second that. You can blame Peter for a lot of things but this isn't one of them. If it's true, it not only sucks out loud but it's as anticlimactic as it gets. A crazy person heard another crazy person's thoughts and did crazy things. Hmm, glad no one wasted too much time thinking up this plot. No wonder logic moved to greener pastures. Lydia: "It was your idea and you don't even remember." I'd forget too, though it's the only plan on Teen Wolf that actually worked. Go figure. They continue blaming him, but Peter's the only one making sense. "How the hell was I supposed to remember any of that?" Agreed until he says, "She was listening to the ranting and raving of a lunatic…a former lunatic. I'm much healthier now." Bwah! Um Peter, you still put the cray in crazy. Don't push it. He continues to plead his case, scoffing at the idea that he'd steal his own money. Valid point, but Sheriff is obviously still hopped up on "we postponed your bullet removal surgery" meds and isn't thinking straight. It's up to Lydia to figure things out. She decides Meredith wants 3 dead pool listers in the same room with Peter so he can kill them all and fulfill his raving. Peter: "Lydia's right. We don't want to kill each other." Sheriff: "The only person I'm pointing a gun at is you." Peter: "Then you better make it a perfect shot, Sheriff, because I don't go down easy." Sheriff: "Well I'm willing to bet that a bullet between the eyes doesn't heal real fast, not even for your kind." Whatever Sheriff's on, flush it because rational thinking left awhile ago. Lydia agrees and tells him to stand down. Peter: "This department is getting more corrupt by the second. What are you going to charge me with, Sheriff?" Ha! Good point. Finally Sheriff lowers the gun after more coaxing by Lydia. Peter walks out once Sheriff finishes spewing empty threats his way. Meredith however is completely unhinged by this turn of events, screaming that it isn't finished yet.

In the White Room, Stiles is equally upset as the record player isn't enlightening to non-banshees either. "Come on. There's plenty other things we can be totally useless doing." Ha! He turns it off but Malia still hears sound. No idea why she didn't hear it when they were with Lydia, but whatever. Stiles notices a wire in the wall and yanks the cord through the dry wall. (Mission accomplished - the lake house will live to be a teen rave again as buyers flee the damage.) He and Malia remove the drywall to reveal…a 70's computer. Face palm doesn't do it justice. Guess they built them better back in then; mine become obsolete and stop running after a few years of constant use. Perhaps Science Mom must sell the place because she can't afford the constant electricity bill anymore. Malia's solution is to punch it and to be honest that usually works for her. Sadly Stiles says no because they need to shut it off to ensure the dead pool list is over. That makes zero sense. It's on a trillion pieces of printer paper. No putting that genie back in its bottle. He proposes another cipher key to shut it down, but Malia suggests a real key. Time for Lydia's help. Stiles shows her Granny's room size machines via phone but Lydia's stymied since it has no monitor. Good thing she sees the carpet. Yes, the carpet. Sigh. There's no wine stain anymore. I give Mason a mental high 5 for making good on his promise, but Lydia freaks. Stiles is baffled as well. "What does wine have to do with anything?" Lydia: "Red wine doesn't just disappear." Um, neither does any red liquid on white carpet, not without major effort. Cleaning nightmare in 2 words - Hawaiian Punch. Lydia: "The ashes weren't ashes. The study isn't a study. The record player isn't a record player. So maybe the wine wasn't wine." Say what? And shouldn't you have noticed the missing stain the last time you were there. At least we now know Lydia had the $500 she gave CrazyPants to hire cleaners. Glad she doesn't regularly carry that much cash on her. She sends Stiles on a wine scavenger hunt, which is far less fun than it sounds.

Meanwhile at Camp Argent, everything's muted with a tornado-green tinted filter. No idea why. Argent and Satomi talk away from the others and he asks about the pack motto - the sun, the moon, the truth - which Satomi says helps them stay in control. "The truth for me is that we, my kind, are violent creatures, who eventually will not be able to control our violent impulses. The mantra helps us subdue our nature." Argent: "But you're still violent creatures." Satomi: "Aren't we all?" Another reference that Scott will kill this season? No time to ponder because the assassins are here and it's time for ACTION. Yippee! I missed you, old friend. A heavily armed SWAT team enters, throwing smoke bombs and shooting assault weapons. Game on. Argent takes first line as Derek comes out shooting too. Kira goes ninja warrior on some plastic sheeting while Scott plays ring-around-the-rosie with claws. It's all a lot more kick butt than that sounds - what with the strobe lighting and gunfire and banging. Best yet are the pairings as Derek and Braeden take out bad guys back-to-back, and Satomi and Argent clear out another section together. A bullet-strewn Scott tells Tall Prep Blond to get his pack to safety and then goes back in the fray to find Kira. Since no one dies on either side, it's a standoff. Luckily Stiles wins the wine scavenger hunt and asks Malia for a "wine opener". Oh Stiles. Since Malia's the only one common sense has left, she slams the bottle down. Stiles is lucky he doesn't damage his hand and end up in the hospital again as he casually puts his entire palm in broken glass to retrieve the key hidden in it. By the way I question Blond Assassin's intelligence, since he drank a bottle of wine with something rattling in it. (FYI - At this point my eyes officially go on strike and refuse to roll anymore, protesting this episode as cruel and unusual punishment.)

As music swells, Stiles dramatically turns the key and...psych - it's back to Camp Argent. New Dumb Blonde actually proves to be less brainy than Blonde Idiot, when she calls Tall Prep Blond's name in the middle of the SWAT Assassin strike. Way to get lost from the group and then let all the bad guys know exactly where you are, honey. Face Palm becomes Head Desk over and over again. Just die already. Alas Scott is a hero and slams into SWAT Assassin, wailing on him over and over again. Yikes! Scott isn't playing. With each claw swipe his werewolf face looks more and more like Deucalion, an alpha monster of nightmare level. Just as he's about to deliver a death blow, he stops. Blood pours from the assassin's mouth as he obviously pleads for his life, but it's the sound of a text message that turns Scott back to his normal werewolf self. In the middle of all this intense action that makes me laugh. (Shakes head and in Stiles' voice says, "Kids.") The SWAT assassins stop firing and withdraw, leaving their buddy behind. Classy. Scott picks up Left Behind's phone and shows him the text. "The Benefactor: all contracts terminated." Um, huh? Back to Stiles and Malia for clarification as the 70's computer stops running. Are you telling me it is compatible with the latest smart phones? Say what? Oh, I give up. I'm calling Granny 2000 the Benefactor and leaving it at that. Malia and Stiles exchange, "What the heck?" looks while Scott gives the warehouse serious side eye. They don't get it either. Luckily Kira funnels everyone's frustration at her. "Is it over? Really over?" Oh for the love of….Kira, sword out and mouth shut is really the best look on you. Even Scott is dumbfounded that you've been in Beacon Hills for months now and you really think things are good.

I, in turn, am dumbfounded that everyone treats Meredith like a little lost puppy. She hired people to commit mass murder. What about that says time to trust her? Why do they even take her story at face value? I hope she's brilliant and screwing them all over. If they drop their guard like this, they deserve it. Lydia asks why Meredith added her own name to the dead pool and she says she heard Lydia scream for Allison when she died. (Love how they keep honoring her.) Meredith: "That's why I knew it was the right time to start over." Lydia: "But with Peter?" Good point. Meredith: "He's the alpha. He's always been the alpha. He'll make it right. It never was with us. Too many people died because of us. We're the monsters, even banshees, even me." I may hate this story twist but the acting here is topnotch. All kudos to Maya Eshet. Lydia: "I don't believe that. Not all monsters do monstrous things." Meredith isn't ready to believe until Lydia mentions Scott. That resonates because Meredith says Lydia is good too and finally breaks down over her role in MASS MURDER!!! I refuse to excuse this like every single person in this precinct. I'd rather have Peter. Just not in Kate's sewer. I get money woes, but really there are plenty of abandoned buildings in Beacon Hills. Kate calls Peter out for sulking and Peter admits he's rattled. Hmm, that is a shock. The admission, that is. Kate reminds him everything is still on schedule. "Maybe every little piece of your game didn't move just as predicted but they still moved perfectly into place." She accuses him of wanting to bail on the plan, but Peter counters: "Not when I'm this close. Not when I'm this close to killing Scott McCall." There you go, folks - the infamous Teen Wolf cliffhanger. Peter wants to kill Scott and the entire fandom goes, "Yeah, so what's new?"

Oh this episode! How do I explain this episode? The entire writing staff got high on yellow wolfsbane and viola season 4 was born? No? Then I've got nothing. As in nothing in this entire episode makes a lick of sense. Printing a list of timeline issues, logic fails, unanswered questions, common sense problems, out of character moments, and generally all out bizarre story structure would make the Benefactor look like the biggest eco-reforming psychopath on the planet. Who exactly is the Benefactor now anyway? CrazyPants, Meredith, Comatose Peter, the computer….I've lost track. Since I have genuinely no clue what happened here, I'm filling this review paragraph with my general theories and grandest wishes. The biggest wish being that our hapless hero trio (Scott, Stiles, and Allison) wake up to find this entire season was a nightmare aftereffect of the nematon. Hey, it could happen. Just saying that an entire season retcon is fine by me, and I usually hate even small ones. Anyway, here's my last two episode predictions:

1. Scott will kill someone to save someone, probably Liam.
2. Peter will be revealed to the pack as evil.
3. Someone's life will hang by the balance.
4. The Benefactor stuff isn't really over. The real cliffhanger is yet to fall.
5. We will see Malia's mom.
6. Someone on Team Parent will be awesome, probably Mama McCall. (Yeah, I know that's a given.)

My hopes are different:

1. Meredith really is evil and provides the real cliffhanger of the season.
2. Peter lives to be the Big Bad in the final season.
3. Kate and Gerard Argent die…for real…forever this time. (This is a longstanding wish list item.)
4. All new freshman and all new blondes get shipped off to Tall Prep Blond's school, even Liam. Yeah I know he got kicked out but hey, second chances.
5. Scott does not have his own DarkStiles theme. It never works when the moral center goes askew.
6. Instead of Kira's Hem Haw Disease, Malia's common sense will rub off on the writers, erhm other characters.
7. All money woes end as suddenly as they began. In fact, don't even explain how the bills got taken care of. Just make them go away.
8. The season finale feel good scene (you know they always have one) does NOT take place at a rave.
9. Someone actually admits that nothing about the Benefactor made sense and they all just shrug and look forward to next season's baddie. If you're going to screw me over like this, I want some meta to chew on.
10. NO ONE IN THE PACK DIES!!!! Unless it's Liam.

Grade: D

Best Scene - Comatose Peter rants to Loony Meredith, who puts his crazy plan into action

Best Quote - Peter: "Sheriff, not to question the unquestionably sterling reputation of your department, but are you absolutely sure you got the one?"

Best Acting - tie - Meredith / Peter

Best Reason to Watch - ACTION!!!

Most Anticlimactic - Peter wants to kill Scott...still

MVP - non-wine non-stains

Most Improved - Kira

Best Character Interaction - Argent and Satomi

Biggest Mind Screw - tossup between every single thing that happens in this episode, but especially the wacky timeline and computer issues

Biggest Saving Grace - great pairings (Sheriff/Lydia, Satomi/Argent, Mama McCall/Stiles, etc.)

Most in Need of Ending - this whole storyline and the green-tint filter

Screencaps by EW, Geekiary, Teen Wolf Wikia, SpoilerTV, Le Noir Auteur, Parole Pelate, Beacon Hills Pack, and me.

About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for Sleepy Hollow, Arrow, White Collar, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Warehouse 13 "Endless Wonder", Sleepy Hollow "Headless," and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
Recent Reviews by Dahne (All Reviews)

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Teen Wolf - 4.10 - Monstrous - Best Scene Poll and Bingo Card

I wasn't able to finish my Perishable recap before Monstrous aired on Sunday, so it was too late to post on SpoilerTV. If you'd like to read it, find the recap here. Also you can find the official Bingo card for 1.11, links to 7 others, and directions for how to make your own Teen Wolf Bingo cards here. Enjoy! Let me know if you get a Bingo next week.

Teen Wolf Bingo - 4.11
Someone mentions GreenbergA new bad guy is revealedDoucheDad flashes his badgeSomeone kissesKira brings out a sword
Someone bleeds on hospital floorDeaton is no help at allSomeone liesSomeone's shirtless (Bonus if NOT Derek)Liam gets wet
Talk about money woesSomeone's eyes glowKira acts awkward or stuttersRecurring character bleedsThe vehicle Stiles drives breaks down or crashes
Someone plays lacrosseSomeone dies in school, woods, or hospitalAwkward talk in locker roomA scene so dark you can barely seeLydia finds something horrible
Big plot twistScott is thrown against a wallMalia looks confused and badassScott/Derek gives a stirring speechA formerly "dead" person appears

About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for Sleepy Hollow, White Collar, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Sleepy Hollow "Headless," and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
Recent Reviews by Dahne (All Reviews)

Monday, August 25, 2014

Teen Wolf - 4.09 - Perishable - Recap and Episode Awards

Previously - Lydia cried, The Benefactor released a dead pool list, Parrish was shockingly worth $5 million, Beacon Hills turned into an assassin haven, Malia found out Peter is her father over Stiles' objections, Scott guessed the Benefactor was a banshee based on really sketchy assumptions, and Lydia found her granny's dead pool code.

The scene opens to find Parrish zip tied to his steering wheel while DoucheCop, who harassed Teen Derek earlier, throws gasoline on the police car. Always knew you were a jerk. Didn't know you were a pyro too. Parrish awakens so DoucheCop throws gas on him too. With all the Beacon Hills money woes, this guy sure wastes a lot of good gas. To be fair, he expects to get $5 million for Parrish's steaming corpse so I guess it's an investment. Oh and DoucheCop is an assassin. I knew Beacon Hills couldn't afford to look too deeply into their employee's pasts. Only the shady would work here with its crummy insurance package and high death rate. They're lucky to get applicants at all. Parrish tries to reason with DoucheCop to no avail. "Hey listen, I mean I barely make $40,000 a year." DoucheCop: "I only make $36." Ha! Not helping. Parrish: "You're just going to stand there? You're just going to listen to a fellow deputy burn to death?" Nah, the douche is prepared. He puts in ear buds and I laugh. Stone Cold Cop Assassin tosses in a lighter as Parrish goes up in flames. I'd be worried but it's the cold open. He's not dying. Evidently resurrection is a season 4 theme since Stiles and Lydia convince Sheriff that Granny Banshee is alive and kicking too. They theorize that she's the Benefactor or working for him. I still call shenanigans, but they peak Sheriff's interest and he asks DoucheCop if he's seen Parrish. He's a convincing liar but needs to watch a cop show. You don't use your work laptop when arranging payment for a hit. To channel Hermione, "What an idiot!" Not that he's getting paid because an extra crispy Parrish comes to work and he's irate. DoucheCop goes for his gun but it's a one and done with assassination for him. Parrish takes him down but in the chaos Sheriff gets shot because NOTHING GOOD CAN HAPPEN TO HIM! Oh Sheriff. Parrish wails DoucheCop unconscious if not dead while the Benefactor denies his request for payment. This really didn't work well for you, Douche. Good. 4 minutes and someone's already died and been resurrected, one's beaten to a pulp, and another shot. Welcome to Teen Wolf.

Back at his ramshackle loft, Derek takes up palm reading. Huh? No wait, he confirms Parrish is alive. No wait…oh who cares. They recap the open for anyone coming in late and Lydia and Derek discuss details but Parrish is a big picture guy. "I was set on fire. All of me should be gone." Ha! He's definitely no werewolf but Derek pulls a Deaton and has no clue what he is. Scott reminds us that he knew about Jackson and Kira but no dice for fans tonight. Parrish calls time out at the word bestiary and they laugh at his naiveté when he calls Lydia a psychic. Oh baby, you're about to dive head first in the weirdness they call Beacon Hills. Derek and Scott have a silent conversation (awww) when Parrish asks what they are, so Scott flashes his alpha eyes. Strangely they never show Parrish's reaction. Sheriff however reacts big time to the hospital costs of being shot. What the heck? He gets shot in the line of duty and his insurance doesn't pick up the tab? I call shenanigans! Leave Beacon Hills now. They don't deserve you. Apparently getting shot is no longer an emergency at Beacon Hills Memorial either since he has to wait until the next day for surgery. Again, "What the heck?!?" Stiles demands some respect for Sheriff, who's more worried about the bottom line so Stiles goes full blown, nail chewing worried. Sheriff: "Hey, stop that. I was just curious about the terminology. We're not in any kind of dire straits." Stiles calls his bull and admits to spying on him since, well at least the pilot. Sheriff is not happy. Stiles: "I go through all your stuff, especially when you keep things from me." Sheriff: "I keep things from you because you don't need to know everything." Stiles: "Yes I do. I have to know everything. How the hell else am I supposed to take care of you?" Yeah, wrong thing to say. Sheriff adamantly declares it's his job to take care of Stiles, not the other way around. I agree but theirs is not a typical situation. Stiles: "We're supposed to take care of each other." Awww, poor babies. Sheriff deflates and he says they'll be okay. Stiles: "How do you know, dad?" Sheriff: "I don't but the morphine's kicking in and I'm not all that worried about anything right now." Ha! Stiles isn't as lucky. That's one freaked out teen.

Parrish is one freaked out and confused adult. They really need a chessboard because kanima is throwing him for a loop. Scott bottom lines it with the dead pool list, but poor Parrish has no clue what he is. Derek: "I'm pretty sure they don't care." Ouch and true. Problem is it's not just pros anymore, since Parrish is sure DoucheCop is strictly amateur hour. The music ramps up when Parrish asks how many people have the list, so that's frightening but since the scene turns into mopey Liam, I officially don't care. Until his printer goes psycho, spitting out multiple copies of all 3 lists until he finally unplugs it. Well scratch eco-terrorists off the list. The Benefactor kills more trees than supernaturals. Seriously dude, try mass e-mail or text. Save the planet. In the most abrupt scene change yet, we flash in on Meredith at the lake house. Ah, it's a Lydia-exposited flashback of a random character. Every season has one. Granny Banshee's girlfriend died in a boating accident on the lake after she had her first supernatural experience while at work for IBM. (Smarts definitely run in Lydia's family.) The sound of rain kept getting louder until she screamed and a banshee was born. Sadly there's no banshee mentoring program so she turned to parapsychology, mediums, and psychics for answers. The white room was created for their pseudoscience study but things went poorly until she found Meredith at Eichen House, even though Granny doesn't look old enough and Meredith's the exact same. Do banshees age? While using Meredith as a guinea pig they almost killed her, leaving her in the hospital for over a year and nuts. Lydia: "My grandmother drove her insane and I drove her to suicide, and all she ever wanted to do was help." Urgh! Lydia hands Scott the code her grandma created but she's as helpful as everyone else in Beacon Hills so no cipher key. It's all over Parrish's head, who just sits in his police car staring at his hands. Helpful clue to what he is or more proof Teen Wolf directors have a hand fetish? You decide.

Meanwhile I air Gibbs slap Derek for leaving a hand gun on his bed. Guess Braeden forgot safety lessons. Scott picks it and questions Derek about it. He confesses that his werepowers are basically gone so Scott adds more bad news. "Your name broke the third list." Wait a minute! You didn't tell Derek his name is the third cipher key? Foul on that play! Foul on Derek for not sharing his becoming human problem too. Nothing good comes from these secrets, guys. What are you, Winchesters? Scott: "It could mean that you're in danger." Derek: "Scott, banshees don't predict danger. They predict death." Duhn, duhn…nope, not happening. Jeff Davis finally realizes how important you are Derek, so you live at least another season. I guess the conversation wrapped up quickly after that because it's another bizarre cut to Scott leaving his room. He gets distracted by Garrett's blood money duffle when he realizes the zipper's slightly undone. Did someone skip Personal Finance class because it's time to get a safety deposit box or open an account somewhere, Scott. He very dramatically counts the money and from the angle I can't tell if there's money missing or not. I assume Stiles took some. Regardless it is utter filler which will probably be discussed next week so it could have waited until then. So could Liam's berserker PTSD, but they have to get Mason and Liam's contracted time fulfilled. Amazingly the annual super important lacrosse bonfire we've never heard of before is tonight and Mason wants to find a man. Liam is uninterested but best friends totally override you when you're in a funk. It's their job. Coach's job is to discourage teen drinking by saying its stupid and putting Scott in charge of narcing. Nice. Way to put him on the spot. Scott's more worried about Liam's anxiety and tries to talk to him but they are interrupted when Coach's printer goes mad, spewing hundreds of copies of the dead pool list. It's revised. Derek's off the list and Liam is worth 18 million. Say what? Why? Let me guess…Liam's a true alpha. Blech!

Thankfully it's back to Stiles and Lydia, who try to decipher Granny Banshee's new code. It isn't going well. Stiles tapes a picture of Granny and her girlfriend to the Plexi Wall of Death while Lydia guesses the cipher key. Stiles suggests Maddie, Lydia, and ScienceMom to no avail. ScienceMom makes no sense anyway given she's the daughter-in-law. I'd guess dad's name first. Stiles: "Do you have any beloved family pets?" Ha! Not helping. They get increasingly frustrated while the printer beeps, "Feed me." Stiles puts paper in while having a breakthrough - focus on Lydia instead of Granny since the code was left for her. So Lydia brainstorms reading The Little Mermaid with her. Stiles: "You read that movie?" (Facepalm and head shake.) Lydia sets him straight about Hans Christian Anderson and remembers making everyone call her Ariel. Bingo - another dead pool list comes up, this one including Granny Banshee's name. They take it to Parrish. "Well it's not another dead pool. More like an Already Dead Pool." He explains that everyone on the list committed suicide at Eichen House. Yikes, I'm not sure which needs to be salted and burned most - the high school, the hospital, the sheriff's station, or Eichen House. They are all storing some seriously bad mojo. Plus now they have to break into Eichen House, which is a whole lot harder than breaking out. Stiles thinks a bribe will work, which can only mean DoucheOrderly. Argh! Please go away. No such luck. He wants $1,000 and a chance to keep insulting Stiles to open the file room. At this time I expect Stiles to pull out the blood money, but it's Lydia walking around with $500 cash. Say what? I thought everyone was broke but apparently they just have never heard of banks. Who walks around with that much cash? Better question - why does DoucheOrderly have a mix tape on cassette no less? Stiles and Lydia exchange a silent conversation and then DECIDE TO FOLLOW HIM ANYWAY. Are you people nuts?

We interrupt this very important development to join yet another Teen Wolf rave. I can't even. This one takes place AT the high school. No way teens get drunk by a fire at a sanctioned high school event. In fact, no way a high school sponsors a bonfire anywhere anymore after the Texas A & M disaster. School district lawyers would never permit it. Still Malia is a balm for my suddenly throbbing head. (In my best granny voice: "Turn down the music.") She tries to cope with her 99 problems by getting drunk, but the writers Scott remembers all the way back to season 1 that they can't get drunk. Kudos! Flo the continuity fairy is proud. Malia's not the only one trying to drink her sorrows away as Mason tells Liam to drink up. "Maybe then when I ask you what's going on you'll be too drunk to lie." Ouch. Mason: "I'm not asking because I want to know. I'm asking because I want to help." Aww Mason, you're making it very hard to keep disliking you for replacing Danny. Why couldn't you be yet another douche or teen assassin? Instead it's Liam who's the douche. He looks over at Malia before going for another round. You deserve better, Mason. Malia deserves the truth but not tonight. Scott: "I just want to talk." Malia: "I just want to dance." Ha! Scott presses on about trying to protect her but she interrupts. "That's what Peter said you would say. And guess what he said next? That you were right. Does that surprise you?" Scott: "No, it makes me wonder what he wants." You and me both, honey. Malia cuts the conversation off when Scott brings up Stiles, which signals big emoangsting ahead but again not tonight since she stumbles, forcing Scott to catch her. Malia: "Is this what drunk feels like? It doesn't feel as good as I hoped." Scott: "I don't think you're supposed to." Nice PSA, MTV. I approve. Liam is also down for the count. For the love of my sanity, please tell me there is not wolfsbane or mountain ash in that bonfire.

Not to be outdone, Stiles and Lydia allow DoucheOrderly to lock them in the file room. When Lydia hands Stiles the list, he finds that she added his name. Never a good sign. They are too busy arguing to notice DoucheOrderly slip back into the room. Again not a good sign. He tases them and laughs about it. Two thoughts race through my mind. 1. They should have outed DoucheOrderly earlier. His maniacal laugh is chilling. 2. Will someone please give Stiles and Lydia self-defense lessons? It's been over a year since Scott turned. They've faced werewolves, hybrids like the kanima, evil druids, evil humans, and a nogitsune. It's beyond time they know how to inflict some damage before getting taken out. Maybe Braeden can teach them. She goes in to grill DoucheCop and ends up breaking his nose when he gets sassy. Two thumbs way up! Sadly the rave music also gets pumped up. Scott drags Malia to Liam, but before he can get them out he falls ill as well even though he abstained from alcohol. He makes another wild conjecture based on…I don't know what, and tells Mason the music is killing them. It's killing my head too. Enough Teen Wolf. Scott tells Mason to watch the others as he turns it off, but all werecreatures get rounded up by security and taken to the school hallway. Mason tries to come with but Head Security Assassin shoves him away. Obviously there's an Assassin Cop poker group because they came to burn on DoucheCop's orders. Huh? Another $7.85 in gasoline is poured over Scott's head. Immolation is all the rage in Beacon Hills these days. Yet another reason to move. As Head Security Assassin flicks his Bic in Scott's face, Mason shows a decided lack of upper body strength as he wrestles to unplug the amp and kill the music. I guess it's a very strong plug. Still he succeeds and the world goes blissfully silent. Alpha eye-ing out Scott takes the lighter to close it in the most dramatic fashion ever. You re-lid that lighter, Scott. Luckily Braeden and Derek arrive at that moment and the only action of the night breaks out. Derek takes down two assassins while Braeden makes sure Mr. Bic won't walk anytime soon. Awesome! Scott: "What happened to the gun?" Derek: "You're covered in gasoline." I adore Smart Derek. Being human suits him.

Back at the precinct, Parrish realizes all the suicides were co-signed by DoucheOrderly. Couldn't catch that before Stiles and Lydia were tied up in the File Room of Predicted Banshee Death? Lydia weakly screams for help. She must be losing her voice because we all know she can scream louder than that. Stiles says it's a waste of time anyway because a lot of people scream in Eichen House. For those not4 paying attention, Lydia spells out that the alleged suicides were actually murders. The rest of us already knew because we're smart like that. Lydia: "She predicted her own death. She knew I'd figure it out…" DoucheOrderly: "Once you were able to predict your own. But they weren't murders. I am not some serial killer like Ted Bundy, going around cutting up college girls." Stiles: "Nah, you're just an angel of death." DoucheOrderly: "I don't think you understand my level of commitment to my work here, Stiles." Jeepers, he's creepy. I like it. CrazyPants Orderly it is. He continues the delusion by saying he showed those patients mercy. "There are people here who don't simply need treatment. They need release. I helped them. I helped Lorraine." Lydia: "You killed her." CrazyPants, holding a cassette: "I helped her and now you can help me because there is something on it that has always bothered me." I cannot stress enough how awesome he is here. The acting in this scene is topnotch as CrazyPants forces Lydia to listen to a tape of her granny dying. Stiles voraciously protests. "Lydia, look at me. Don't listen. Okay, don't listen to it. Just focus on my voice alright? You don't listen to it. Block it out, okay? Lydia. Hey, turn it off." CrazyPants punches him, but I love when Stiles and Lydia pep talk to protect each other. They have a beautiful friendship. As CrazyPants holds Lydia's face, she listens to her granny beg, "Please don't hurt her." When CrazyPants asks who, she replies, "Ariel." That's one powerful banshee. Even more powerful is the acting. Not a word is spoken, but volumes are said by all three.

Lydia refuses to gratify CrazyPants with an answer, so he moves to Plan B. "We get a lot of teenagers trying to break into our drug cabinets. Most of the time they don't succeed, but you two look pretty clever to me." At least he's not underestimating them. CrazyPants is the Crowley of Teen Wolf. As he preps the syringe, he snarks, "I'll admit Stiles, I don't have any unusual talents like Lydia, but somehow I just knew we were going to get a chance to do this again." As CrazyPants goes to inject Lydia and Stiles yells, it is Parrish to the rescue. "Drop it. Take your thumb off that needle and slowly withdraw from her neck." That may be the weirdest cease and desist phrasing ever but it distracts CrazyPants, who decides taunting Parrish is his best plan. Okay. Because he is from Beacon Hills where it isn't a plan unless it ends spectacularly badly. CrazyPants: "Young deputy, you're just a kid. I bet you've never even fired a…" Bang! Parrish shoots him while I wonder where CrazyPants thinks he's been living. The Sheriff's office sees more combat action than a war zone. Of course he has experience even without the military background. Lydia and Stiles get Parrish up to speed while untying themselves, but CrazyPants has one more surprise for them. "You think it was me? That I was controlling her." He laughs through bloody teeth, sufficiently creeping me out. CrazyPants: "She was controlling me." As he dies coughing up blood, Lydia realizes the truth. Lydia: "It's not him. He's not the Benefactor." That is zero surprise but it still can't be good. Around the corner, a voice mutters, "No and he wasn't on my list but he was a bad person." Ladies and gentlemen, rising from the dead, we give you Meredith, the Benefactor. Duhn, duhn, duhn.

All in all I liked this episode and I have no idea why. All I know is any show that can take my least favorite character and turn him into the most riveting thing about an episode gets an air high 5 from me. This episode was all about Senor CrazyPants DoucheOrderly for me. They should have made him insane earlier and I would have rooted for more of him the whole time. Don't get me wrong. I'm ecstatic he's dead…or well, about as dead as anyone on Teen Wolf really can be. I hope he doesn't come back, but he absolutely stole every scene he was in tonight. Considering he was on screen with both Stiles and Lydia, that is a feat of work. I am also fine with Meredith being the Benefactor. I have no idea how logically they can get around her doing all this stuff unless she has an army of minions, but I love the idea of her being a criminal mastermind capable of fooling everyone. Smart villains are always more fun. I hope she escapes and plays a cat and mouse game for the remaining episodes. The biggest flaw of Perishable was all the filler though. There were lingering shots complete with dramatic music on the most random things and much of it felt like it could be cut or held for another episode. I also miss action. Season 4 has been too light on action sequences and it is throwing the pace off, making this the first Teen Wolf season that feels like its dragging a little. Usually Teen Wolf moves so fast it makes my head spin and I'm left gasping, trying to process everything that happens in an episode. This time there have been several episodes when I've looked at the time, wondering when it will end. That's not Teen Wolf so I hope we get action-packed soon. They are running out of episodes to pick up the pace.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - Benefactor revealed

Best Awww Scene - Stiles worries about Sheriff / Stiles worries about Lydia

The "Poor Baby" Award - Sheriff, who keeps getting hurt by the supernatural

Best Character Interaction - Stiles, Lydia, DoucheOrderly

Biggest Cliffhanger - What is Parrish?

The WTH Award - have to wait until next day to get bullet out of you

The "Mega Minor Drama" Award - for all those times when the drama and music outweighed what was actually going on in the story: unplugging printers, Parrish hands, counting money, lighter reclosing, super strong amp wire. You were like that cat that jumps out at the beginning of a horror movie. All build up and no pay off.

The "So Much For Money Woes" Award - Lydia, who carries $500 on her person in cash

The "Oh for the Love of My Sanity" Award - someone get Stiles and Lydia self-defense lessons

Biggest Leap - Scott decides it's not wolfsbane but music

The "Dude, It's Beacon Hills" Award - Seriously DoucheOrderly, cops at Beacon Hills get more combat experience than those on a warfront. Even if Parrish wasn't a vet, he's no rookie.

The "It's Not Just Werewolf Powers" Award - Evidently banshee powers go wonky as well. Granny Banshee couldn't predict that Derek would lose his werewolf powers. Maybe she mixed up Derek and Peter.

Screencaps by TV Den, Hypable, TV Unfiltered, Team TSD, Teen Wolf Wikia, Pinterest, and Forever Young Adult.

About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for Sleepy Hollow, Arrow, White Collar, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Warehouse 13 "Endless Wonder", Sleepy Hollow "Headless," and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
Recent Reviews by Dahne (All Reviews)

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Quote of the Week - Week of August 17

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team this past week. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.

Doctor Who -

1. The Doctor: "Have you seen this face before?" Barney: "No." The Doctor: "Are you sure?" Barney: "Sir, I have never seen that face." The Doctor: "It's funny, because, I'm sure that I have. You know I never know where they come from, the faces. They just pop up, zap, faces like this one. Come on look at it, have a look, come on, look, look, look." (He wanders over to where a broken mirror.) "Look, it's covered in lines, look at it - but I didn't do the frowning. Who frowned me this face? Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think, I've seen that face before?" (Sandi and Bradley Adams)

2. Eleventh Doctor: "However scared you are Clara, the man you are with right now, the man I hope you are with, believe me he is more scared than anything you can imagine right now, and he needs you." Twelfth Doctor: "So who is it?" Eleventh Doctor: "Is that the Doctor?" Twelfth Doctor: "Is that the Doctor?" Clara (To both of them): "Yes." Eleventh Doctor: "He sounds old. Please tell me I didn't get old? Anything but old! I was young. Oh, is he grey?" Clara: "Yes."
Eleventh Doctor: "Clara please. ‘ay, for me, help him? Go on, and don't be afraid, he's alright. Good-bye Clara. Miss ya." (Sandi)

3. The Doctor: "You can't see me, can you? You look at me, and you can't see me. Have you any idea what that's like? I'm not on the phone, I'm right here. Standing in front of you. Please, just…see me!" Clara (looks at him, searching his face for...something...then smiles): "Thank you." The Doctor: "For what?"
Clara: "Phoning." (She hugs him) The Doctor: "I, I, I'm not sure I'm a hugging person now." Clara: "I'm not sure you get a vote." (Sandi)

4. Strax: "And we will not melt him with acid." (Bradley Adams)

Mystery Girls -

1. (entering the detective’s office) Holly: "Freeze! You have the right to remain sexy." Charlie: "She’s been practicing that the whole way here." Detective: "Don’t you knock?" Holly: "But you never knock." Charlie: "Yeah, you just say 'knock knock,' which technically isn't knocking." Holly: "Whatcha working on?" Detective: "None of your business." Holly: "Oh, looking at porn, huh? So what's your kink? Footplay, nurses?" Charlie: "Tennessee dumpling?" Holly: "Tennessee dumpling?" Charlie: "Yeah, you start with a washboard and a jug…" Holly: "Oh..." (Samy Bgs)

The Strain -

1. Gus' friend: "Where are we, man?" Gus: "One story above hell." (Tonya Papanikolas)

2. Setrakian: "You want to help fix this? You want to help me stop all of this?" Cab driver: "You can't fix crazy, man!" (Tonya Papanikolas)

Teen Wolf -

1. DoucheOrderly: "But they weren't murders. I am not some serial killer like Ted Bundy, going around cutting up college girls." Stiles: "Nah, you're just an angel of death." DoucheOrderly: "I don't think you understand my level of commitment to my work here, Stiles." (Dahne)  ~I am surprsied by how much DoucheOrderly captured my attention in this episode, considering how much I hate him.  Great work all around in this scene.

2. Mason: "I'm not asking because I want to know. I'm asking because I want to help." (Dahne)  ~I really want to not like Mason since he basically replaced Danny, btu he keeps saying things like this.

3. Scott: "What happened to the gun?" Derek: "You're covered in gasoline." Scott: "Oh yeah."  (Dahne)  ~The return of SmartDerek.  Oh yeah!  Please stay.

4. Stiles: "Lydia, look at me. Don't listen. Okay, don't listen to it. Just focus on my voice alright? You don't listen to it. Block it out, okay? Lydia. Hey, turn it off." (DoucheOrderly punches him.)  ~I love the friendship between Stiles and Lydia.  They are great working together to solve mysteries, but even better when they are protecting each other.

Young & Hungry -  The best part of the episode was Sofia impersonating Yolanda but that didn't translate through the quotes alone so I went with these.

1. Yolanda: "I think if I let him go, I'm not going to be the main woman in his life anymore and he's going to run off into the sunset with some new girl on that tandem bike." Josh: "Come here. He's not going anywhere….you pay all of his bills." (Dahne)  ~Awww, it's hard for a mom to let go and let her child grow up.  It's even harder to get them to pay their own bills.

2. Gabby: "Are you okay that I manipulated you into calling Cheryl? I had to. It's true love." Yolanda: "I know but it doesn't mean that I don't love you. I would be lucky to have someone like you in my family." Gabby: "You already do." (Dahne)  ~It's this family dynamic that makes Young & Hungry my favorite summer comedy.

About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for Sleepy Hollow, Arrow, White Collar, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Warehouse 13 "Endless Wonder", Sleepy Hollow "Headless," and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
Recent Reviews by Dahne (All Reviews)

Monday, August 18, 2014

Teen Wolf Bingo Cards

Here are the Bingo card choices for episode 4.12. If you would like to generate your own, go to Bingo Baker.  Click on Clone and Edit.  Scroll down and delete where it says Scott thrown against wall in the last square.  If you don't you might get it on your card twice.  Click on Generate.  Click on Play Online.  Viola - your own personal Teen Wolf Bingo card.

8 Different Bingo cards here - ready to print in pdf

Teen Wolf Bingo - 4.12 Official Card
Someone in school when shouldn't beDeaton is no help at allRecurring character bleedsLydia stares blankly into spaceDoucheDad flashes his badge
Peter appears extra crispyA party breaks outBig plot twistMalia looks confused and badassSomeone lies
Kira brings out a swordSomeone kissesDerek frownsScott/Stiles asks if someone's okayKira acts awkward or stutters
Derek gets beat up or torturedSomeone's shirtless (Bonus if NOT Derek)Coach terrorizes studentsAwkward talk in locker roomA parent is helpful
Someone bleeds on hospital floorSomeone growlsLiam gets wetScott is thrown against a wallSomeone dies in school, woods, or hospital

If you have anything to add for our Bingo cards, please comment below. Current Bingo Squares include: Scott/Stiles asks if someone's okay, Deaton is no help at all, Malia makes inappropriate comment, Kira acts awkward or stutters, Werewolf powers go wonky, Big plot twist, A parent is helpful, Someone dies in school, woods, or hospital, Peter or Stiles snarks, Lydia finds something horrible, Scott/Derek gives a stirring speech, Someone lies, Lydia stares blankly into space, Stiles says "What??", Derek frowns, Malia looks confused and badass, Derek gets beat up or tortured, Someone's shirtless (Bonus if NOT Derek), A teen skips school, A scene so dark you can barely see, Kira brings out a sword, Someone's eyes glow, Someone in school when shouldn't be, Liam gets wet, Scott is thrown against a wall, Scott is thrown against a wall, The vehicle Stiles drives breaks down or crashes, Someone growls, Stiles makes a funny face, Someone kisses, Someone mentions Greenberg, Recurring character bleeds, A party breaks out, Talk about money woes, Someone plays lacrosse, Awkward talk in locker room, Coach terrorizes students, Music played way too loud, DoucheDad flashes his badge, Someone bleeds on hospital floor, A formerly "dead" person appears, A new bad guy is revealed, Bromance moment, Peter appears extra crispy

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for Sleepy Hollow, Arrow, White Collar, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Warehouse 13 "Endless Wonder", Sleepy Hollow "Headless," and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
Recent Reviews by Dahne (All Reviews)