Monday, August 4, 2014

Teen Wolf - 4.06 - Orphaned - Recap

Previously - Derek taunted Liam for no reason, Scott was overwhelmed by his responsibilities, Violet (Crazy Teen Assassin) was an idiot and tried to take down Scott with her necklace, Garrett was marginally less crazy, Kate wants control, and Argent wants to find Kate.

In Orphaned, Teen Wolf starts with a big shock. Kate was back in town 4 weeks earlier with dead pool assassins on her tail. Say what? That means that between episode 3 and now, 4 weeks have passed. Given that some entire seasons were about that long, this is Teen Wolf on fast forward. I mean Scott has only been a werewolf for a year and it's season 4. While Kate may be crazy, she has fine taste in stolen cars. As she naps in a 1972 Chevy Chevelle SS, static from a cassette tape (huh?) wakes her. She uses her gun to eject it after a close pan in on the knife Mama Fratelli's henchman gave her to kill herself. She plays the tape, which appears to be a nature documentary on the Hale family. No wonder it's on cassette. It feels like a hunter training tape from the Argents or another hunting family. This one happens to be about the triskelion. As the tape talks about lack of control, Kate walks through a battlefield of burning cars and dead assassins. She killed them aaaaallllll. Well except for one the berserker has by the throat and another barely alive on the ground. Kate asks the berserker bound one who the Benefactor is but he has no idea so she asks about the cassette tape. Teen freshmen assassins got one too, although not all assassins did. Hmm? Clue there? Besides, what teenager has a cassette player these days? Berserker Bound calls them The Orphans, but doesn't give details since Barely Breathing shoots Kate. He apparently forgot to load his weapon before shooting Kate, so he only gets one shot off. Idiot! Kate loses control, werejags out, and finishes both off. I may hate her, but she has the most gorgeous transformation of them all. I say Scott sends Kate after the assassins because she is effective.

Back to present day, Liam enters the locker room only to hear Coach dismiss everyone. Garrett's wanted by the police and off the team. Glad Coach still has standards. Liam overhears DoucheDad (DD) apologize to Scott for not being at a scrimmage Scott never told him about. For once it is not his fault and Scott tells him that. I can't afford to care about DD so he better stop improving. No need to worry about that with Crazy Teen Assassin. Kate 2.0 is all kinds of cocky, even in custody. She's also still on the job, noticing Parrish's name tag and realizing he's on the list too. Scott and she eyeball each other as Sheriff comes out with her killer necklace. DD stops to ask about the necklace before questioning Violet. Scott werelistens as DD asks about over a dozen murders. Violet: "I don't know what you're talking about. I just go to school here." DD: "Maybe we should call your parents then. Oh no, that's right. You don't have any parents. That's why they call you the orphans." Ouch! Thanks DD; you are sufficiently douchey again. As he walks off and Sheriff looks for bolt cutters to explore teen assassin lockers, Liam tries to win me over with puppy eyes. Not happening, kid. Scott is more susceptible. Liam explains Kira's absence for the whole episode on her mom being on the dead list. I sigh in relief that we're spared her hemming and hawing. Liam freaks over the dead pool list. If he's on it, things are way past hinky in Beacon Hills considering the dead pool list went out before he ever became a werewolf. Scott decides to ransack Garrett's gym locker before Sheriff does, with Liam as lookout. He finds a gym bag full of cash. My estimation of Garrett's abilities plummets. Seriously dude, you're an accomplished assassin by freshman year and you haven't learned about offshore accounts? How sad. More interestingly, Scott doesn't share his newfound money knowledge with Liam. That's shady, especially when he takes the bag home where Mama McCall is on the phone with the electric company. She's 3 months behind so they've turned the electricity off. Okay DD, it is time to start paying more child support or alimony if you really want to be in Scott's life.

At Deaton's, Teen Wolf urges my dinner to return as they pan in on TPB, Tall Prep Blond's yellow puke. Thanks Teen Wolf. Derek and Stiles try to hold him down as his body convulses from the rare wolfsbane that just, what 45 minutes before, Crazy Teen Assassin said would NOT kill him. Deaton disagrees. No clue why people keep asking Stiles to hold down werewolves either. Stiles: "Hey Derek, how about a little werewolf strength." Derek: "Yeah well I'm not the only one here with werewolf strength." Not to mention Derek's losing his. TPB gets away but Peter punches him out. It's cathartic. Peter: "I guess I still have a little werewolf strength myself." Derek: "Yeah, maybe more than a little." Derek gives Peter the side eye. Peter returns it when the claw marks on Derek's arms don't heal until he concentrates on it. Wacky theory #1 - What if Kate is siphoning off all of Derek's werewolf powers? It would explain her unusually strong powers, like controlling berserkers with a roar. Deaton slices TPB open and releases toxic yellow wolfsbane gas. Neither Peter nor Derek look concerned so I guess I won't be either. I'll worry about how wolfsbane canon keeps getting trashed this season instead. TPB mutters about the sun, moon, and truth, so he's part of the alter-pack that I guess no one knew existed. Upon hearing it, both Peter and Derek realize Satomi's still around. Huh? The werewolf from the flashback episode in 3B? She's still around? Continuity kudos. While they relive the past, Mason's life implodes. Mason: "They were using us for their cover. I mean professional killers were using us. How are you not freaking out about that?" Liam responds by leaving his best friend behind on his own in the freaking Beacon Hills woods. Talk about a douche move. I don't even feel sorry for him when Blond Assassin (BA) hits him with his car. Um, since when do freshmen drive? I guess Berserker Bound was right, hinting that they aren't as young as they seem. BA is efficient. He stabs and kidnaps Liam before Mason can catch up, leaving only blood spatter behind.

Returning to "school is optional" philosophy, Stiles, Kira and Lydia are absent from Math leaving poor Malia to answer questions about them. Malia: "I can try catching their sent." Teacher: "Right. How about I just mark them down as absent?" Ha! This scene is pure filler except Derek uses weresenses to call Malia. She leaves class, galled the teacher would question her going. Malia makes me laugh. Smelling TPB's stinky lacrosse jersey does not. Derek wants Malia to track Satomi's pack to warn them. Hold up. Derek knows about this pack? Really? You'd think someone would mention them when alphas rolled into town and that Derek and Peter would have been less shocked 8 minutes ago. Still Derek mentoring Malia is appealing. As is Stiles, Lydia, and Parrish teaming up. They show Parrish the dead pool list, including his name. "Okay, that's kind of terrifying. What's the number?" Lydia: "That's how much you're worth." Parrish: "I'm worth $5." Stiles: "$5 million." Parrish: "I only make $40,000 a year. Maybe I should kill myself. I don't get it. Why…why am I on this?" Parrish, you are Teen Wolf gold and we all want to know why you're worth so much. Lydia and Stiles need his help to see Meredith for the third cipher key but Parrish isn't sure. "The last time you saw her, you almost gave her a nervous breakdown." Lydia: "Almost." Stiles closes his eyes while I sigh. Not helping, Lydia. At school, neither Mason nor Scott can track Liam down but Coach looks really ill. It's foreshadowing for next week. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Blond Assassin arranges to meet Scott at the School Bus of Death. Never good. He wants his money and Violet back. Scott wants to talk with Sheriff, but BA tells him to disable the car relocating Violet to federal prison instead. Scott objects since it's another terrible plan. BA: "You're an alpha. If you can't stop one little car, then one little beta is going to die." BA stabbed Liam with the wolfsbane blade, which he claims will kill him. Again with wolfsbane canon issues, Teen Wolf. Either it's powerful or it's not. Either it works quickly or it doesn't. Either it kills or it doesn't. Make up your freaking mind and stick to it. It seems BA stuck Liam in a well (the one from The Ring to be exact). Enter your own Lassie joke here. Liam yells out but neither Malia nor Derek hear as they traverse the woods for an alt-pack history lesson and recapitation. Malia interrupts when she smells gunpowder. The pack is hiding. DoucheDad is not. Although Scott tries to convince his dad to let someone else escort Violet, DD resists since they already lost the finger evidence in the Katashi case. Again with continuity. Score! DD says Sheriff is going too, which is not awesome. DD can die. Sheriff cannot. Violet smirks at Scott as she passes; she can die too. Blond Assassin brings a gun to the party as Scott reiterates how stupid this is. Scott: "So I take out the tires with my claws?" BA: "Teeth, claws, heat vision - whatever." Ha! Before they can implement it, berserkers attack leaving the car tipped over and Sheriff and DoucheDad hurt. BA showcases his ninja skills while taunting a berserker. "Yeah that's right. You're not so big. You're not so big." Luckily another berserker comes behind and kills him to shut BA up. Bye bye Blond Assassin. Won't miss you. Alas, Scott is taken down too.

Know who else I didn't miss? Eichen House DoucheOrderly. Sadly he's still around, messing with Stiles. He finds another orderly opening Meredith's door for Parrish, Stiles, and Lydia and stops him. When Parrish lies about their coming, he does it so badly DoucheOrderly tells him to come back with a warrant. Let's just say Parrish won't be playing bad cop. DoucheOrderly taunts Stiles saying his dad isn't paid enough to cover his bills. I counter that Sheriff isn't paid enough to put up with all the supernatural in Beacon Hills. DO: "I guess those government jobs aren't as reliable as they used to be, huh?" Parrish: "But they do help if you need a favor. Like how a month ago the Canaan PD helped you get home after blowing a point 1 on a breathalyzer." Woo hoo, Parrish! Stiles' sheer joy at the revelation is contagious. DO is good with "a little quid pro quo" and gives him the keys while Stiles pats Parrish's back. "You. You, I like you. I'm gonna keep you." Yes, Stiles is speaking for the fandom. Please don't be evil, Parrish. They go in but Meredith can't help. Stiles: "We just need the third key. You can give it to us in numbers, letters, hieroglyphs. Whatever you want." Ha! Stiles and Lydia override Parrish's warning to go easy, as Meredith says the Benefactor won't let her. Say what? Meredith knows the Benefactor? Just as she says the Benefactor's name, the scene switches to a close up of Deaton. Yeah, that means he's not it. Way too obvious for episode 6. Argent brought Scott, who has a claw skewering him, to Deaton. No clue how he declawed a berserker. Argent removes the claw from Scott as Deaton reassures us that Sheriff is okay. And DoucheDad. Scott uses the berserker spike to catch a scent even though it's covered in his own blood. Not sure why he hasn't even tried this with Liam.

Over in the woods, Derek is busy explaining. Woo hoo! The reason Scott could not smell the werewolf on TPB is Satomi's pack has the ability to cloak their scent even from other werewolves. Sure you can see it as a retcon but I'm just happy to have a plausible explanation. Filling up those plot holes. Still doesn't help them warn Satomi though. Malia: "Maybe we need to try something different. Maybe we need to think like Stiles." Derek: "Like a hyperactive spaz?" Malia: "Like a detective." Ha! Buddhists look to the east so the cousins head to lookout point. Alas by the time they get there a dozen or so of Satomi's pack are dead already. Malia: "Well that's great. If assassins with guns don't get you, then the ones with wolfsbane poison will or maybe one with no mouth. Maybe we should all be running from Beacon Hills, running for our lives, as fast as we can." Finally common sense. Work that plan. They go to leave, when Derek hears something. A bloody Braeden raises her arm as Derek runs to her. Meanwhile Liam and his day-glo, highlighter yellow, Nike product placement sneakers attempt to climb out of the well. He falls because Lassie hasn't found him yet, spurring on a flashback of the broken window in Lydia's lake house. That's going to rack up the credit card debt. Liam is inspired to keep climbing that well, which really should have Miley Cyrus' The Climb playing in the background, while Lydia and Stiles still try to get Meredith on board. They push way too hard, way too fast. Parrish tells them to stop but Lydia tries to guilt her into talking. Meredith completely freaks out and starts to scream, which causes Lydia's ear to bleed. Again I would feel sorry for her, but she was a huge douche to Meredith.

Amazingly Scott's werewolf skills allow him to track the berserker (and not Liam) to the old Argent factory. If it is in foreclosure, I'm blaming Teen Wolf for my retinal hernia from excessive eye rolling. (My wacky theory #2 - Beacon Hills used to house a Nike factory. It got outsourced to China causing all these sudden money woes. In lieu of severance, Nike gave out free Nike ware so every single kid in Beacon Hills sports the Nike symbol.) Scott apparently has Stiles' dyslexia from 3B because he can't read the huge Argent Arms International sign on the wall, giving Argent time to exposit. He also brings out the big guns. Nice. Scott and I: "I'm good with that." Kate, not so much. Scott wants to talk to Violet. Argent wants to capture Kate. Kate wants control. I want her to die. No one gets what they want. As Argent puts his finger on the trigger, Scott suddenly tells him not to fire. I have no idea why. Does he think Argent will actually kill his sister and therefore keep him from getting to Liam? Does he suddenly think running is a better option? No clue, but Argent fires at berserkers no avail. A fight ensues as Argent and Scott are tossed around like rag dolls but just as a berserker is about to take out Argent, Kate howls them off. Aww, she really does care. And she has Scott's alpha roar. Hmm. Perhaps she stole that too. Scott in turn finds a presumably dead Violet. I no longer trust anyone's dead on genre shoes until they have no head, and even then it's iffy. Scott frets about Liam but Liam roars his location and Scott gets there right as he is about to fall. He pulls Liam out of the well and they hug. Scott: "You're okay, Liam. You're okay." Aww, if I liked Liam at all I would love this scene.

Instead it's back to my usually favorite crime solving duo, Stiles and Lydia, but I'm less than thrilled with them tonight. At least they finally use some common sense about the cipher key. Lydia: "But we already tried every other dead person's name we could think of and if you haven't noticed, there were a lot of tries." Stiles notices that Lydia is bummed. Stiles: "You okay?" (Bingo square covered.) Lydia: "The only other banshee I've ever met and I think I might have just drove her over the edge." Yeah, you awoke your inner mean girl. Stiles: "Lydia, it wasn't your fault. I was there too, and you're probably not the only…hold on. Banshees predict death. Alright so what if the third key is someone who isn't dead…" Lydia: "But will be." Lydia zones out (Bingo square) and begins to type in a name…Derek. At this point I should freak out and I sent my "Derek doesn't die" tweet out along with everyone else. However, I'm more concerned again by the lack of logic here. Presumably everyone on the dead pool is going to die. Plus there's nothing that logically connects Allison, Aiden, and Derek here. Since the likelihood of Derek dying is far less than last season, my wacky theory #4 is that it signifies the death of his werewolf powers instead of Derek himself. Still doesn't connect. More importantly, Liam is on the list at $3 million. Say what? Again the dead pool list went out before Liam was even bitten. Did Teen Wolf borrow the Clairvoyant shtick from SHIELD? Plus how is a beta of all of 4 weeks worth more than most supernaturals? Even more puzzling, why is Malia's last name Hale on this list? Shouldn't it be Tate? Very few people know about Peter's fatherhood at this point. I don't think even Derek knows. Bah! I give up making sense of this. Meredith is also on the list, so they call Parrish only to find that Meredith supposedly committed suicide. Not buying that at all, but as DoucheOrderly unwraps the sheet from her neck, Lydia turns into Stiles' arms and they hug. Now that one I can say Awww with, even as I dread the emoangsting that's going to come.

In Deaton's emergency werewolf hospital, he cuts into Liam's chest releasing another toxic cloud of yellow wolfsbane gas near Scott's face. Hmm. Scott has bigger issues though. "I don't want to keep watching people die." Argent: "I'm not sure you have much choice about that." Very true, even if you flee Beacon Hills. Deaton: "That's a lot of burden to carry, Scott." Scott: "I don't care. No one else dies. Everyone on that list, everyone on that dead pool. It doesn't matter if…if they're wendigos or werewolves or whatever. I'm going to save everyone." Noble sentiment, but did you forget those wendigos were eating people? Perhaps you should gets background before deciding to save everyone. Just saying. First Scott wants to save Mama McCall, who sits in the dark trying to pay bills. Upstairs, he and Stiles count the loot from Blond Assassin's gym bag. You know, Derek's money. They also find the cassette tape. I love Scott's look of utter bewilderment. Have kids his age ever seen one? At $117 million, you'd think the Benefactor could afford to convert to digital. Kate, on the other hand, can't even afford a cheap motel as she washes her face in sewer water. Peter: "I suppose you're hiding down here because it will cover your scent, but I can smell a rat - even in a sewer." That's because you are one, Peter. He talks to Kate about control. Peter: "You know I used to get angry. As a kid I would even break my own toys in little fits of rage, and then I asked myself why break your own toys when you can break someone else's?" Kate: "Stop pitching and just tell me what you want." Peter: "Obviously we are in a position of mutually assured destruction." Kate disagrees and looking at the berserkers Peter conceded. He however has the secret to control and he's willing to trade to get his money back. Kate doesn't buy it. "It may be part of it, but that's not all you want." Peter comes closer and whispers in her ear. "What I want is what I've always wanted…power." Duhn, duhn, duhn. It's an alliance of the most trouble-producing kind. Watch out Beacon Hills.

Again the plot thickens as season 4 finally kicks into gear. The last 2 episodes have started to feel like Teen Wolf again thankfully. I liked the continuity and answers in part of the episode, although wonky wolfsbane, werewolf powers, and the list are driving me nuts. Mostly though I liked unusual pairings again. I really, really liked Derek and Malia working together. The cousins made a great team and I hope they continue to find answers together. I also liked that Parrish joined the Stiles and Lydia brigade and that he came in with the win over DoucheOrderly. Malia and he were also the voice of reason, which is always needed. While I wasn't thrilled by how Lydia and Stiles treated Meredith in this episode, I am always happy when they are there for each other. They to me are the Harry-Hermoine duo and if Parrish comes in as Ron, I will be very much happy - minus the whole shipping thing which would be doubly disturbing given that Lydia is in high school. I like that Lydia and Stiles together came up with the answer for the third cipher key, even if so far it makes zero sense. Mostly I like that they both are allowed to be smart and their skills complement each other here. It's good to see them working together again. I also love Scott and Argent teaming up. I think Scott could learn a lot from Argent and Argent could use a purpose now that Allison is gone. Helping Scott and the others gives him a reason to keep going, since him being the Benefactor is getting lower on the list for me. Why would he be that worried for Scott after the berserker fight if he planned on hiring someone to kill him? Still hoping it's Gerard or Kate. They need to kill these 2 off instead of characters like Meredith, who still had so much to offer the story. I am actually ticked that they killed off the only one so far who might be able to give Lydia answers about what it means to be a banshee. I'd like to see that storyline develop sooner rather than later.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Lydia and Stiles show Parrish his name on the dead pool

Best Quote - Malia: "Maybe we need to try something different. Maybe we need to think like Stiles." Derek: "Like a hyperactive spaz?" Malia: "Like a detective."

Most Likely to be the Benefactor - Peter, because he's not on the dead pool list

MVP - Parrish

Best Character Interaction - Derek and Malia

Best Death - Blond Assassin

Worst Death - Meredith

Biggest Future Problem - Peter and Kate alliance

Teen Wolf Dead Pool List:

A -

Sean Walcott - 250
David Walcott- 250
Michael Walcott - 250
Christina Walcott- 250
Lydia Martin - 20
Scott McCall - 25
Demarco Montana - 250
Derek Hale - 15
Carrie Hudson - 500
Kayleen Bettcher - 250
Kira Yukimura - 6
Elias Town - 250

B -

Kate Argent -12
Noshiko Yukimura - 5
Joanne McLaughlin - 1
Steve Grace - 1
Tom Hill - 1
Brett Talbot - 1
Reed Schall - 250
Richard Benefield - 250
Jack Marsland - 250
Joy Waldrop - 250
Cheryl Calix - 250
Jordan Parrish - 5

C -

Satomi Ito - 10
Malia Hale - 4
Liam Dunbar - 3
Meredith Walker - 1
Liz Moore - 1
Patrick Clark - 1
Bree Leverett - 250
Kaitlyn Schaar - 250
Genevive Cary - 250
Angelique Fain - 250
Lorilee Rohr - 250
Brittani Kegley - 250

Link for 4.07 Bingo Cards here

Teen Wolf Bingo - Official Card - 4.07
Scott is thrown against a wallMalia makes inappropriate commentSomeone in high school when shouldn't beMalia looks confused and badassKira acts awkward or stutters
A party breaks outSomeone's shirtless (Bonus if NOT Derek)A parent shows up (Bonus if it's Lydia's)Deaton is no help at allPeter or Stiles snarks
Someone's eyes glowLydia stares blankly into spaceSomeone plays lacrosseAwkward talk in locker roomRecurring character bleeds
Someone growlsStiles makes a funny faceA scene is so dark you can barely seeSomeone mentions GreenbergCoach terrorizes a student
Kira brings out a swordScott gives a stirring teamwork speechMusic played way too loudLiam gets wetThe vehicle Stiles drives breaks down or crashes

Screencaps by me which ius why they aren't as good as usual and why they still say MTV on them.

About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for Sleepy Hollow, Arrow, White Collar, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Warehouse 13 "Endless Wonder", Sleepy Hollow "Headless," and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
Recent Reviews by Dahne (All Reviews)

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