Sunday, January 2, 2011

Supernatural - 6.02 - Two and a Half Men - Recap

Note - This is written about 3.5 months after it originally aired, but I am writing it as close to what I remember as possible. Also things jump from Dean and Sam's POV at the beginning so I consolidated them. The wacky back and forth makes for a hard time recapping. Finally, beware. This is stream-of-conscious, making it less concise and probably less coherent than usual. And we all know those aren't my strengths on a good day. Oh, and I love Lisa.

Previously - Sam's been back for a year, Dean's ticked about it, Dean made a life with Lisa and Ben, Bobby betrayed Dean by not telling him about Sam, we met the CSA (Campbell Soup Army) led by Grandpa Creepy - oh yeah!, no one knew why Sam and Grandpa Creepy were back, shapeshifters are not mandroids but they are gross with the shedding thing, Dean chooses Lisa and Ben over hunting - good for him

In suburbia, family pictures are marred by blood and a blood-soaked mom carries her baby presumably to safety. Not sure why she goes upstairs instead of running screaming outside where the neighbors would hear her. OK, she went for the phone. Apparently, they only have one and the police are quicker than her neighbors. Glad I don't live in this subdivision. Unfortunately, the phone is busy and now she's trapped. Her great plan - to hide under the bed with said baby because babies are known for quiet. Not to mention, she's obviously in the locked room and now has no way to escape when the big bad inevitably breaks in. Honey, you may be too stupid to have a kid. The baby sucks on her blood-encrusted hands which is disturbing as well. OK, now I'm baffled. The Things That Confuse Me List starts now. While under the bed, she sees her dead husband's body. She's shocked. My question - whose blood is all over her then? Anyone surprised when momma gets dragged from under the bed. Naw, didn't think so.

Even more terrifying is seeing that beautiful Impala under a tarp. Dean uncovers her a bit to rifle through the trunk. He looks wistfully at the sawed off, but the keys go back in the tool box and the tarp goes back on. Awww Dean. This is just wrong. Lisa and Dean unpack boxes, while Ben Gloomy Gus-es it. Guess who moved during the school year and had to leave his friends. Being pursued by vengeful monsters really puts a damper on your social life. Lisa handles it okay because she's awesome! "At least wait till you've checked the place out before you hate it. Open mind. That's all I ask." Ben wants to check the place out, but Sergeant Dean makes him unpack instead. Lisa suggests they go out for lunch later to scope the place; Dean hesitantly agrees. However, he orders pizza anyway. Subtlety is not his strong point; he has to let them leave sooner or later. At least if he's with them, they're protected.

Meanwhile in Lansing, Michigan (yeah place card, my old friend) FBI Sam questions a local detective about a murder and missing baby, Emma Cooper. This might not be a good time to mention it, but when I heard Cooper I thought of the circus guy in Everybody Loves a Clown, and now the baby frightens me a bit. Let's stay away from Medford where kids need brain cells and parents need better home security systems. Anyway, Sam calls the baby an "it" instead of a "her", which is a little weird. He can't find sulphur or EMF in the house so it may not be their thing, but Grandpa Creepy insists it is. I flashback to this argument, season 1-style, and miss grandpa-free days. Grandpa has laptop issues and for once I feel for him. "OK, so either we have monsters grabbing babies to make baby stew or we have a bunch of psychotic yokels grabbing babies to make baby stew. Either way, it's baby stew, which is bad." Sam's in eye rolling mode, but I agree with Grandpa Creepy this time. Grandpa is frustrated. "Am I boring you?" And now I'm flashing back to Dean in Home. I don't want this leading to Lawrence, Kansas either. They both wonder about Sam's condition, but then Sam suspects the alarm company. Really? That woman had a security system and didn't do anything to trip it. She hid under the bed? Score one for Social Darwinism.

Back at Dean's Mother Hen Chicken Coop, Ben's bored so he plays treasure hunt in the Impala. He's looking at the sawed off when Dean enters. Bike ride looks pretty tame now, huh Dean? Dean makes the Impala a forbidden zone and is emphatic about Ben never shooting a gun. "Ben mark my words. You will never ever shoot a gun. Ever." Now, I'm pretty anti-weapon myself, but even I see the benefit in teaching Ben how to defend himself against monsters and all. I'm not saying pull a John Winchester because I really don't want to hate Dean, but a little target practice at the local range might be in order. Maybe a few warding spells and the occasional Latin class. It's not like Dean can follow Ben to school and it will be embarrassing if his step-dad comes with him on future dates. Ben confronts Dean about house arrest. "I know what's going on. You think that something might be coming for us." Dean denies it, but Ben wants to be trained as a hunter. On one hand, aww. Ben wants to be like Dean. On the other hand, are you freaking nuts kid? Dean heads to the later and completely blows it. He snaps at Ben, who leaves apologizing. Dean, I know you have no experience with fathers who are actually dads, but something has to give. First, stop lying. Lisa and Ben know something's up. You made them move. You won't let them leave the house. You look tense. Lying is making it worse. Second, talk to Ben about why you don't want him in the life. I know feelings aren't your strong suit, but you did a great job with Lucas. Channel that.

Hours later, Lisa confronts Dean about yelling at Ben, and wants to know what Ben did. Dean says nothing so Lisa asks what Dean did. Smart lady. Dean lies, Lisa doesn't buy it, second verse same as the first. She asks if Dean wants to talk but he snaps that he's trying to keep them safe. Lisa: "I'm not arguing. Ok, you're the expert. I'm just asking. You said that you and your brother killed whatever was after us. And then, and then we moved just to be sure. So what is it Dean? A monster or monsters in general." I love Lisa. She recognizes Dean as the expert but doesn't let him walk over her. Dean doesn't know what if anything is coming but he's terrified of something happening on his watch. Lisa understands but they have lives to live too. "I know you're trying to protect us, but you're kind of scaring me a little too." There isn't much to say after that. Dean needs to figure out how to make this work.

This new plastic thing Sam drives kind of scares me a little too. Poor, poor Sammy. I get the better gas mileage and there's probably room for your iPod, but this is a tragedy. Hunters need cool cars. This looks like my Saturn. (Trivia buffs - the license number is Illinois I4Z 0892) Grandpa Creepy confirms that the families had the same security company. One other family has a six-month old baby and Sam rushes out to find them. He breaks into the house and I have to say, this security company's worthless. Sam walks right through and no alarms blare. Unfortunately, he's too late to save the very dead mom and dad. For some reason the TV's full of static too. I don't get it. Bloody footprints lead to a supply closet, and he's attacked by a security guard. A silver knife burns him and we've got a shifter on our hands…again. Scary music swells as Sam lifts up the tablecloth and….

…calls Dean who must live on another continent because it is the middle of the night where Sam is but the sun shines through the glass in Dean's door. Perhaps it's a symbol of the contrast in their lives, but freaky time things remind me of Bugs. But hey, now it's night at Dean's place too so weird light anomaly? InstaDark? I'm insane? Who knows? Dean's reluctant to help Sam even though he "threatens a damn drive-by" until Sam holds his phone over the back seat. Dean meets Sam in the Pick-Up of Confused Priorities and wants to know where "it" is. Sam says, "Strapped down in the back seat. Welcome to the party Guttenberg." Bwah, post-hell Sam is funny! Surprise, it's a baby.

Back at the Mother Hen Coop, Lisa and Ben will get some freedom, provided Lisa can assemble a weapon in record time. Well, might not be that bad. Lisa's been through this but Dean says, "Humor me." Dean reconsiders leaving. "Sam can handle this." But Lisa earns my undying devotion. "Dean, no offense, but if you don't walk out that door, I'm going to shoot you." You know you're an overprotective pain when your family would rather face potential monsters than bear with you another day. Dean: "I bet your missing your ex right about now - the boring one." Lisa laughs and tells him to be careful. As they kiss and Dean heads out, she finally shows how worried she is for him.

Really Dean? Really? You go on a hunt in the Sad Pick-up of Confused Priorities. Metallicar was made for this. She's always with you, well except when you drove that hideous minivan to Ellen's. At least then you didn't have a choice. I'm ashamed. Dean asks what they are up against, but Sam only narrows the list. Dean questions the "babynapping" but Sam's got nothing here either. Sadly, the baby's no help either. Sam's Soulless Sedan protests Dean not wearing a seatbelt. Dean: "What am I in third grade? Cars should drive not be a little b***" Dean says they need supplies but Sam has "an arsenal in the trunk." "Not that kind." Post-hell Sam remembers the car seat but forgets diapers and food. 6+ hours have passed; that kid is wide awake. No way it didn't squawk to be changed or fed yet. I don't buy it.

At the grocery store, Sam is confused on what to buy. Thankfully, Lisa has a niece so Dean's got it covered. Sam smirks and Dean tells him to "shut it." I love brotherly banter but Dean notices they've "got the waterworks in T-minus 10." Dean grabs more stuff while Sam rushes to the checkout. But no dice, the baby's wailing, which makes Sam nervous. He demands Dean make it stop, but Dean doesn't "speak baby." Dean lifts the baby out straight-armed and starts fake crying too, to no avail. Bwah!!! Did you never hold the niece Dean?   Luckily, a kind old lady offers some help. She asks his name and Dean says Bobby while Sam says John. Bobby John it is. I didn't pay attention to the name the first time around, so I missed the deep subconscious. Apparently Dean, former daddy's little soldier, now thinks of Bobby as their father. He definitely acts more like one. Whereas, Sam, former father rebel, looks to John as his daddy role model. Interesting, but moving on.

Dean hands the baby to In-Line Grandma, who promptly declares Bobby John is wet. She offers to change him but Dean sees her glowy shifter eyes in the store cameras and refuses. "Give me the baby before I stab you in your neck." Sam freaks until he sees the monitors too. The Shifter runs, shedding body pieces as she goes. Yuck! They knock her down and Sam grabs the baby. Dean, forgetting where he's at, tries to stab the shifter only to be stopped by the clerk. For some reason, no one goes after Dean as he flees, except the shifter. They didn't even get supplies. Dean comforts Bobby John but can't get him out of the car seat. "Who designed this thing? NASA." I'm with you Dean. The first time I tried getting my niece out by myself, I about cried. Grandma Shifter changes into Cop Shifter and runs the plates of Sam's Soulless Sedan. The camera pans slowly over the dead cop's body and shifter goo. Not appetizing folks.

Back at the hotel, Dean negotiates with the baby to Sam's amusement. Dean hums Bobby John to sleep . "Ok, if I put you down, you going to be a man about it?" Sam's impressed at Dean's baby skills but Dean says he's "barely keeping that thing alive." "It", "thing" what's up with you two? You've named him; can't you use "he"? Sam: "You got a whole Dr. Huxtable vibe coming off you. You're like father material." Remember in the pilot when Sam said the Winchesters weren't the Brady's and his friend said they weren't the Huxtables - ok last nonessential reference. Dean says he had to learn because of Ben. Ben isn't his kid, but he's starting to feel like it. He reminisces about their crummy childhood and he won't let Ben grow up that way. Sam questions Dean's decision, saying that moving them and keeping them on lock-down is a lot like they were raised. Dean protests it's temporary, but John always said that. Sam wonders how he can watch over Lisa and Ben and not turn into John. I could answer with a 500-page book complete with footnotes, but it hits Dean hard and he has no answers.

One of the snatched kids still has a dad out there and they start to check it out. Except, the baby can't be left alone. Dean stays and proves he's a thousand times better than John in the process. Urgh! I HATE JOHN WINCHESTER! Of course, Dean then gives Bobby John alcohol to quiet him and I rethink their plan. Great Dean! You're already killing your liver. Why start the baby? Sam questions the father, whose car is far cooler than Sam's. Dad claims mom cheated on him and then had the baby, but she claimed they slept together. Light bulbs go off in Sam's head. I hope he steals the car. Meanwhile, Dean loves the Magic Fingers, which is just like the time when… Ok..I'm done. No more references. Suddenly the baby throws up his skin. Gross! Sam calls to warn Dean that a shifter is the Baby Daddy, but Dean figured that on his own. Bobby John is now African-American and looks like the baby on the diaper box. He's covered with his old skin, which makes me want to hurl. Never more glad for a commercial break.

A now clean baby greets us, wailing his eyes out. The manager asks about the noise, and my mind screams Shifter Alert. But Dean's distracted by Bobby John's screaming and doesn't hear warning bells. Until the Cop Shifter breaks in and speaks cryptically about "our father". A fight ensues before I can ponder the meaning. Dean stabs him, but Sam shoots him dead. "Well, there goes our deposit." Forget the deposit; worry about the real cops showing up any minute. In Sam's Soulless Sedan with Bobby John 2.0, they exposit the Shifter's plan for anyone not caught up yet. Sam ponders monsters having kids and calls the baby a monster. No fair Sam. You didn't like people saying that about you in..oops. Dean defends the kid. "Of course it's not really a monster. I mean, it's still just a baby. It's not its fault its dad's a shifter." But they do have figure out what to do with him. "We can't actually drop it off at an orphanage. They might get upset when it turns Asian." Bwah. It would take some explaining, but he'd have an advantage in the Halloween costume contest. Sam suggests Grandpa Creepy. Just the fact that he's named Grandpa Creepy makes it a bad idea. Dean agrees. No child should be raised by hunters. I don't think a child should be raised by THESE hunters. Poor kid would have no chance - monster blood or not. Sam claims Grandpa Creepy is a lot like Dean. Whoa! Stop the car Sammy boy because you've obviously drunk the Kool-Aid. Unfortunately, Dean doesn't have a better idea so I'm stuck with the freaking annoying CSA again. Great!

Grandpa Creepy lives in a cult compound, complete with armed guards and a barbed wire fence, because that will stave the neighbors' curiosity. I'll bet they're on the FBI watch list of future homegrown terrorists. Just add a swing set and let Bobby John call it home, psychotic home. This is a terrible idea. Dean holds the baby while Christian and Gwen approach. No psychic needed to know that Gwen will say something snarky and I will want to shoot her myself. I don't know what it is about this family, but they arouse bloodthirstiness I didn't know I had. Gwen: "Aren't you just the best disguise a monster ever wore?" Maybe I just want her to go far, far away. She doesn't have aunt potential. Silent Campbell comes next but just stares. He'll be the home school English teacher. Grandpa and Sam are next but Dean won't relinquish the baby to Samuel. Go with that thought Dean. Grandpa calls him "little guy" though instead of "thing" and "it" so that's soemthing. Grandpa Creepy: "What do you think I'm going to do?" Dean: "You really don’t want me to answer that question." Christian chimes in - oh goody! "Well, I'm curious. Who exactly do you think we are?" Oooo, let me answer, Dean. Please. Dean: "Hunters." My answer was much better! Christian: "Funny. Here I've been thinking we're family." Family? Are you kidding me? Perhaps if your last name is Bender, but other than that, you are mixing family with cult. It's an easy mistake to make after being brainwashed by your once-dead, now cryptic, possibly malevolent grandpa. No kids, not even shifter hybrids, should be exposed to this. Instead of becoming a shifter, he'll become a Campbell, and that's much worse.

Sam takes the baby from Dean and promptly gives it to Grandpa Creepy. What the heck! Grandpa reminisces about Mary which should be endearing but isn't. They will raise the baby because it is too dangerous for him out there. Dean wonders what will happen in the compound. "What - are we going to study him, poke at him?" Christian calls Dean on going straight to torture but it's not beyond possibility with this bunch. Ooo, no he didn't! Christian knows about Dean torturing people in hell. What the hell! How exactly does he know this unless Sam told him? Some things stay within family Sam and I don't mean these malevolent groupies you call cousin. How could you! Christian and Dean go at each other but Sam stops them by saying Dean is his brother. Perhaps you should have remembered that before. Grandpa promises that no one will do anything to Bobby John and the choice to "volunteer" will be his when he's old enough. Yeah right. Silent Guy goes chatty pondering Bobby John as a hunter. Dean's had enough. "Come on. You can't Angelina Jolie a shape shifter." Gramps wants to know why Dean won't trust him. I don't know; maybe because he's not an idiot. Dean: "Maybe because you two are suddenly back from the dead and I seem to be the only one who wants to know how the hell that happened." Dean's not comfy. Grandpa: "All we're trying to do is invite you in." And brain wash you. And pout you Kool-Aid. And….Fabulous! They are giving the baby to Christian and his wife Arlene to raise. Unless Grandpa gave Arlene to Christian in marriage and she didn't have a choice, I don't even want to know what woman married Christian. Surely there's some non-nut job hunter somewhere or a good monster-fighting abbey. GC: "Congrats. It's a boy…sometimes." OK that was funny. Christian: "Oh the c*** I do for this family." Congrats to you kid, you're new daddy makes John look sane. Dean: "You have no business raising anything." Sam wants to know why, but they are interrupted by sounds of the compound being raided. I'm hoping for ATF but no luck. Daddy Shifter found them and he wants Bobby John back.

Grandpa Creepy tells Dean to take Bobby John down to the panic room. Look, Bobby Singer started a trend. Shifter Daddy is in Grandpa Creepy disguise and hey, if we can't kill Grandpa, maybe we can kill the thing that looks like him. I'll take what I can get. However, I'm curious as to how Shifter Daddy could assume Grandpa Creepy's form since for all we know he hasn't seen him. He's even wearing the same clothes. How convenient! Gwen shoots Shifter Daddy but he takes a licking and keeps on ticking. Silent Campbell knifes him, but Shifter Daddy snaps his neck before Christian and Grandpa Creepy stuff him full of tranquilizer darts. He's stopped for awhile but then shrugs the darts right out of himself.

Hey both Dean and Sam are in the panic room. It takes two hunters to guard a baby monster?. Sam heads upstairs but Daddy Shifter appears looking like Sam, again in the same clothes. I think we have a ret-con here. Shifter Daddy rips off the panic room door - I bet Bobby's would be harder to demolish - and takes down Sam, cutting off Dean's escape. He straight into Dean. Dean and I wonder what's going on. The Shifter, now Dean's evil clone, demands the baby. I demand answers. Dean: "No way in hell." The shifter grabs Dean by the neck until he passes out and pries Bobby John out of his hands. Shifter Baby Daddy Dean has the same intense look Dean gets when he's about to kill something. It's intense. It's…well…fascinating. That's a bad thing isn't it? He walks his shifter kid right out, not changing expression. This daddy won't be any better than Christian, kiddo. You're just screwed.

In the aftermath, Sam and Grandpa Creepy postulate that this was the AlphaShifter. First off, a what? Second, does no one care that Silent Campbell is dead? I mean as part of the CSA I'm not going to mourn him, but shouldn't one of his "family" at least pretend he was important. He was the least offensive of them all. Of course he dies and we are left dealing with Shut Up Already Campbell, Douche Campbell, and Grandpa Creepy. I call do-over. We didn’t even see Faux Grandpa bite it. Apparently, Grandpa is too busy expositing his Alpha theory to Dean and us to dwell on his dead grandson. "All monsters come from somewhere, right?" Baby Daddy Shifter is the Grand Poobah; he made and has a connection to all other shifters. Dean wants to kill it but Grandpa doesn't know if they can. Keep the faith Grandpa. If you can kill reapers now, surely an Alpha can go down. Dean guesses the Cop Shifter meant the Alpha when he talked about "our father." Dean asks if Sam heard him say that because if he did, "he was using the baby as bait." Say it ain't so, Sammy, because that's cold. Sam says, "Of course not." He just thought Creepy Compound would be the safest place. It's Sam, albeit a bit different now, so I'll giving him the benefit of the doubt. However, Grandpa Creepy is another story. He's on the phone talking to…somebody…about the Alpha Shifter. He wants to catch it instead of kill it. Um…why? I'm not a hunter but general Monster 101 says you kill it so it can't hurt anyone else. Perhaps I'll call you Grandpa Shifty instead because this is sinister.

Back at Mother Hen's Former Coop, Dean surprises Lisa. I admit it; I wasn't sure if it was Dean or Shifter Dean. I held my pillow chanting, "Please let them live. Please." Thanks Supernatural. Every time I adore a character, I start the internal countdown to their demise. I like Lisa. I like Ben. They add to the story and Dean deserves some happiness. They both do. As the scene turns emo, I sigh in relief because surely a Shifter would just kill them. Ben's on a bike ride, which makes Dean nervous. Dean confesses he doesn't know what to do. Would it be better to stay and protect or leave and give them their freedom? Darn you writers, now I worry about Dean abandoning them. That sucks worse! There's a kid depending on you and you can't just toss him away. Dean realizes he's been a prison guard and he doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be his dad and it scares him to act that way.

 Lisa starts her end of the conversation with "Can I be honest?" and I'm not sure who wants to say "no" more - Dean or me. I'm not ready for the breakup. Lisa doesn't know what's safest either. "The one thing that I do know is that you're not a construction worker; you're a hunter. And now that you know your brother's out there, things are different. You don't want to be here Dean." Dean: "Yes I do." Lisa: "OK, Ok, but you also want to be there. I get it. You're white knuckling it living like this. Like what you are is some bad, awful thing, but you're not." Lisa, skyrockets up my favorite character list. "But I'm not going to have this discussion every time you leave and this is just going to keep happening so…" Don't do it. "I need you to go." Nooo! Dean's heart breaks and mine does too at the thought of not seeing Lisa and Ben again until they get killed in a sweeps-week angst fest. Man, this sucks out loud! I do not want your ghosts haunting Dean. Dean: "I can't just lose you and Ben." Lisa: "That's not what I'm saying." Heart perks up a bit…huh? Dean: "You're saying hit the road." Heart plummets. Lisa: "Dean, if there's some rule that says this thing has to be either or, how about we break it." I'm all for breaking it. Consider it smashed. Lisa: "Me and Ben will be here and you come when you can. Just come in one piece, okay." Dean: "You really think we could pull something like that off." Dean, just go with it. Lisa: "It's worth a shot, right?" Definitely!

Smoke on the Water plays as Dean in gray Henley and blue jacket stands in the garage. Much car porn ensues as we see every angle of that beautiful Impala. And I'm so stoked I don't even mind that they are not playing Back in Black. Well, maybe just a bit. We get a hint of Dean smirk as squealing tires sounds fade out. I love this show!

End Note -I like this episode better now that I've had some time away from it. Originally I thought it was okay but not outstanding. Now I think it was good with some outstanding parts. I got bogged down in details before but now that they have been answered, I can enjoy it on its own merits without the mytharc hanging over me.

Screencaps from Home of the Nutty. Recap of All Dogs Go to Heaven. My other recaps at Dahne1 Blogspot in the 2010 archives.

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