Previously - Eternally Doomed Teacher (EDT) found out werewolves exist but decided Derek was irresistible anyway, Alphas came to town, Derek's previously dead sister Cora was alive and hungry, Derek bit Mrs. Argent to save Scott, Isaac's dad deserved his death, Horny Teen died, and a serial killer came to Beacon Hills because things there aren't freaky enough as it is.
At VetBoss' clinic, an unknown man brings in his sick dog. They zoom in on the dog collar and he bonds with Scott so let's all agree that Unknown is not long for this world. Unknown is a military brat who actually uses the word alpha in everyday conversation. Now he's suspicious too. Even VetBoss side eyes him. Unknown's dog won't get in the car so he runs after it into Death Alley. Not sure why Scott's spidey senses aren't tingling but since he's currently sifting through dog poop to find mistletoe, I guess he's excused. For the record, mistletoe joins wolfs bane in plants deadly to werewolves. None of this matters to Unknown though, who sticks his hand under a dumpster and gets bitten. Serves you right dummy. When he sees his dog is not under the dumpster, he of course inspects it further while a voice ominously whispers, "Come closer." Seriously dude, run! What's wrong with you? Scott finally hears the dog yapping and goes outside to check it out, but its owner is missing. Nice not knowing you Unknown. Your death will apparently be marked by creepy chanting.
Back at Beacon Hills High, Eternally Doomed Teacher is not only the last to leave but also the first to arrive. Lady, werewolf attack definitely qualifies for a mental health day. EDT is justifiably still spooked and a door closing sends her running to her unlocked(?) classroom…yeah right. No matter because we both jump when she turns around to see Derek waiting for her. Grabbing a miscellaneous dowel rod for protection, she asks Derek's intentions. Honey, if he wanted to kill you he wouldn't have entered the basement to save you. However the caution is appreciated. Not enough people use that in Beacon Hills - one reason for the high mortality rate. Derek comes closer and asks if she is okay. Aww. This courtship will go better if you don't scare her every time you meet though Derek. EDT rambles about psychotherapy and Derek's a better person than me by not laughing at her nervousness. He takes away her useless stick and says, "I think you're going to be okay." EDT counters that her lesson planning got interrupted by bad timing in the boiler room paper cache (still shakes head over that one) so she's not ready to teach The Crucible. Derek talks McCarthyism allegory to help viewers prep for SAT's, but EDT interprets it as a hint to stay silent. Since The Crucible is directly against that and warns of the dangers of silencing a community, she may not be the right person to teach it at all. Derek is puzzled as well and heads out but not before introductions are made. Derek, meet Jennifer, who for her own safety might want to transfer somewhere safer before the serial killer chooses her too. Both of them smile the flirty grin of probably hopeless romance before parting.
Stiles however freaks out over virgin-killing serial killers as evidenced by the many, many times he shouts "virgin" in the boys' locker room. He asks Scott if Unknown looked like a virgin and thus fits the pattern. Not quite sure how someone looks like a virgin, Stiles. Scott snarks back about sleeping with all the clinic's clients. Scott and I laugh. Stiles not so much. So Scott reassures him that missing does not equal dead. Come on buddy, this is Beacon Hills. Of course he's dead. Stiles won't let this conversation go anytime soon. Stiles: "You know who else is a virgin? Me. I'm a virgin okay and you know what that means? It means that my lack of sexual experience is now literally a threat to my life." Only on MTV folks. Stiles loudly declares that he has to have sex "right now," at which time Danny joins the fun. Ha! He warns Stiles though, "I like to cuddle." Stiles: "That was so sweet. Are you kidding?" Danny: "Yes. I'm kidding." Stiles: "You know you don't toy with a guy's emotions like that." This whole scene is fabulously well-played and I chortle at Stiles and Danny's facial expressions. Plus Stiles stops shouting "virgin" so it's all good. Coach stops the fun as Isaac joins cross country practice. Hmm, must be the lacrosse off season. Coach explains that cross country is mandatory to keep from getting flabby, but it's real purpose is to slow pan half naked lacrosse team members. Flabby is not an issue. The Alpha Twins have joined the team and Isaac takes off after them because that is such a great plan! Scott reluctantly follows. This slow motion chase scene is sponsored by Nike. Coldcocking Isaac, the twins read from the Cheesy Villains Handbook but Scott punches one before they get too far. Thanks Scott. Everyone wolfs out and growls out at each other, but human screaming wins the match.
Over the hill, Unknown was strangled with his own dog leash, the killer's fourth victim. Sheriff and Deputy arrive quickly on the scene. Maybe they have special spidey senses too. Stiles mentions it’s a pattern but Sheriff gets Coach to round everyone back up at the school. Coach: "You heard the man. Nothing to see here. Probably just some homeless kid." Um, say what? Why would being homeless make any difference? He's obviously been murdered. Also he's not homeless. Scott tells Coach he's a senior. Coach: "He wasn't on the team was he?" Yeah, I'm a terrible person but that line makes me giggle. Exactly how players are there on a lacrosse team that you can't keep track of them Coach? Laughing stops as Unknown's girlfriend sees his dead body and the screaming starts. Quite frankly, it's shocking the cross country team wasn't. It's a bad sign when your youth are immune to death. As everyone calmly meanders (no hurling either), Isaac tells Scott the Alpha Twins are involved. Stiles disagrees because they seem shocked. Safe bet's on Stiles here. If the serial killer and the Alphas are linked, that knowledge is not shared at the twins' pay grade. Isaac and Stiles argue and they both want Scott to side with them. Apparently Scott has become sole judge on this show but since he doesn't have enough info to make a choice, the scene is null. Scott says Isaac has a point because "Seriously dude, human sacrifices?" Stiles: "Scott, your eyes turn into yellow glow sticks okay. Hair literally grows from your cheeks and then immediately disappears and if I were to stab you right now, it would just magically heal. But you're telling me you're having trouble grasping human sacrifices?" Scott: "That's a good point too." Ha! Isaac doesn't care. He's got revenge on his mind.
Derek is having his own rough day. Little sister Cora pushes herself too hard, while ragging on him. She
deeply angsts over her tragic childhood and complains about Derek's leadership skills. Derek: "Sorry to disappoint you." Yikes, Derek replaces Jackson as this year's punching bag. The emo fest is delightfully interrupted by Derek's homemade intruder alarm. Yep, it's an alpha invasion. Elevator Alpha enters and Cora rushes him because Derek's surrounded by idiots. She's instantly taken down and it looks like there will be a fair fight between him and Derek when Shoeless strolls in too. Still no sandals lady? Derek and she have an awesome first round but then she pulls a pipe from the ceiling and Derek's down far too easily. He is an alpha too right? Derek gets rebarred through the chest as Deucalion makes a grand entrance. "Is everybody done because just listening to that was exhausting?" Ha! Bonus points for snark but deductions for starting a villain monologue. Meanwhile, Deucalion's buddy, Duplicitous Guidance Counselor (DGC) is now also the French teacher. Allison's French teacher to be exact. That's got to be uncomfortable…or maybe not since Allison's sound asleep. DGC and Allison have a standoff about sharing info as neither is willing to explain their illegal bank activities. However the word of the day is impasse. These vocabulary lessons used to drive me nuts but now I just laugh, especially when we move to Science class to learn the difference between inertia and momentum. Isaac needs to learn impulse control instead. He senses the twins in the hall and excuses himself to go to the bathroom. Sadly, when Scott goes to follow Mr. Harris vividly describes how much that is NOT going to happen. Things turn baffling when one twin starts beating up the other in the hallway. Can you say setup? Isaac is blamed for fighting. Finally smart werewolves.
Back at Derek's, Shoeless Alpha is named Carly. She's still Shoeless to me. She twists the pipe through Derek as he bleeds all over the floor, pleading for Cora's life. Deucalion agrees. Cora rushes toward Derek, but he tells her to stay back. I agree; she's been useless all night. Deucalion's not boring enough to want to kill Derek; he has a far grander design. "Don't throw me in with sociopaths like your uncle." Bwah! And agreed. As his eyes turn bright red, it's back to the increasingly stupid Isaac who got lunch detention for fighting. Say what? That's a minimum 3-10 day suspension in any school in the country. My offer to be an educational resource still stands producers. Scott councils Isaac to not let the twins get to him, but changes his tune when one flirts with Lydia by the lockers. Lydia is no longer hiding her smarts since she tells him she has a 170 IQ. Good for her. Has anyone told her the Alpha Twins are werewolves? Problem easily solved. No? Deep sigh. Scott: "What?' Isaac: "Now they're getting to you." No need to look happy your idiocy is catching Isaac. Speaking of idiots, Stiles once again spies on his dad as Unknown's girlfriend, Ashley, is questioned. At least Stiles is fully aware he sounds like a creep. "Sorry I just need to…um, ask you something real quick and it…it's going to sound really, unbelievably insensitive so I…I apologize in advance. Um, was Kyle a virgin?" Really Stiles? Really? Ashley smacks him one for both of us. His dad is not pleased either. The FBI have been called in to track a serial killer, but Stiles wants to find a pattern to help. Kyle is not a virgin though so there goes that theory.
Instead it's on to werewolf proposals. Shoeless calls Deucalion "Duke" and tells him to speed up the
monologue before it's too late for Derek to heal from the extra hole she's giving him. Duke instead riffs on how being the Alpha in an alpha pack is hard. Everyone wants to be boss. Duke: "Me, I'm more about discovering new talents…like you." Derek: "Not interested." Duke: "But you haven't even heard my pitch." No offense buddy but if you skewer potential recruits, no one's going to be interested in joining your army. Derek won't kill his pack. Duke says no problem - he just needs to kill one. His newly awakened lust for power will do the rest. Duke: "You really want to stay beholden to a couple of maladjusted teenagers who're bound to become a liability and believe me, they will become a liability. In fact, I've a feeling one of them's getting himself into trouble right now." Nice segue Duke right into lunch detention where Isaac protests to Harris about restocking the janitor's closet with Allison. Mr. Harris has no sympathy because he's evil. Of course, it wouldn't matter if this school actually had a discipline plan. Urgh! They do apparently have a truancy policy though because Boyd is back to honor Unknown's memory at a makeshift locker memorial. They were in JROTC together. Stiles is shocked to see him. Boyd: "Yeah I would have told you but we're not actually friends." Ha! Sad that Boyd's only friend was Erica and she's dead. Yes, that's the second confirmation Erica is dead. Give it up dreamers. Hope is no longer alive.
Nightmares though live large as Isaac gets claustrophobic in the small janitor's closet due to his insane dad locking him in a freezer for punishment. Allison wants to chat detention away. Isaac not so much. Allison: "Could I ask you a question?" Isaac: "Do you have to?" Bwah! She wants to know if Isaac mentioned her helping get Boyd and Cora into the school last episode. Isaac says no. Allison: "It would make me really happy if you didn't." Isaac: "Yeah well, you being happy isn't really a big priority of mine since you stabbed me…20 times…" Isaac rocks. Allison maybe apologizes but before they can have a serious heart to heart, the closet door shuts leaving Isaac with his worst nightmare. The Alpha Twins put a vending machine in front of the door so he can't break out. As Isaac starts hyperventilating, he flashes back to his dad's abuse. Fear drives his werewolf instincts and just as he about to attack Allison, Scott opens the door and throws him out. He pins him down and yellow eyes to get Isaac focused. It works. Allison is scratched but not badly and Isaac apologizes profusely. Allison says it wasn't his fault and Scott realizes the Alpha Twins want Isaac to kill. Isaac: "So are we going to do something?" Scott: "Yeah, I'm going to get them angry. Really angry." Dramatic music ramps the intensity up so much I snicker. In the meantime, Stiles could not have more awkward conversations if he tried this episode. This time he babbles sacrificing babies in Calcutta. He does tells Lydia about the Alpha Twins though so there's a plus. Stiles' new theory is that the murderer kills people in threes. First it was virgins. Now people with small dogs. Lydia won't give up her pet, since you can't "discern a pattern by a single data point so stop trying." There's logical, non-screaming Lydia. Nice to have you back. Stiles won't wait for someone "to die in just a hideously awful, strangulating, head bashing, throat cutting kind of way." Lydia suggests he leaves sleuthing to his dad. I'm too busy wondering how the killer knew that Horny Teen in high school and Bugged in college were virgins. I doubt either wore purity rings. There has to be a connection there or the killer employs a very mixed group of chanters.
Meanwhile Allison shows her hidden skills as she hotwires one of the Alpha Twins' motorcycles, gives Isaac a quick tutorial in riding it, and signals Scott they are ready. It's EDT's last class of the day and she wants to go home. Scott is determined to make things difficult though by pulling out pieces of a motorcycle out of his bag. Jackpot! The Alpha Twins are riled. Aidan flees class only to see Isaac riding his bike in school. Isaac does a masterful flip over the bike, leaving Aidan with it in the middle of the hallway. Busted. He's suspended…in this crazy high school where bloodying someone only gives you lunch detention. My theory that it's all a schizophrenic's dream still stands. Stiles however makes his first smart move. He realizes that VetBoss has been dodgy with his knowledge and demands answers. Alas it cuts back to the world's longest villain monologue first where Derek has been on all fours spitting out blood for an entire school day. How long is your pitch Duke? Instead of answers, we get Alpha theory…"He cannot die unless you take his head and with it his power. In the end there can be only one. He is Duncan MacLeod…." Oops, sorry that's Highlander but since the philosophy's the same let's go with it. To cut a long monologue short, a beta wolf tried to take over when Duke went blind. (Not sure how that happens with superior werewolf healing by the way.) When Duke killed him, he received his power so he kept killing his betas. He's psycho that way. He also changes subjects rapidly saying Derek looks like his mother, whom he knew. Derek calls Duke a fanatic and he's proved right. Duke: "I am the alpha of alphas. I am the apex of apex predators. I am death, destroyer of worlds. I am the Demon Wolf." He is scary as thunder crashes and he cracks his own glasses with his voice. He's also guano with power. Even Elevator Alpha looks disturbed. Carly pulls the pipe out of Derek and they all walk away. Let's not do that again anytime soon. Derek deserves a break…
..which apparently Lydia is taking. She absentmindedly draws a tree while Danny admires her skill. Danny: "You should be in art class." Lydia: "Maybe." Danny: "Since you're not in music." Huh? Lydia trance walked herself into band class, which would be awkward except the teacher is missing so they invoke the 15 minute rule. Missing still equals dead in Beacon Hills so why exactly did Lydia go to the dead teacher's class? She's not bloody and the teacher could not have being missing long, so that rules Lydia out as the killer. Or not - the psycho swarm took out Bugged. The clue comes via AT&T/Samsung product placement and more chanting. Thankfully answers are coming. Stiles is a researching guru and all signs point to Druid sacrifice. He brings up the Lindow Man, a bog mummy found in Cheshire, England who was killed the same three ways the serial killer does. VetBoss brings out mistletoe and Stiles rightly reams him for not sharing info. His lame "I want to repress the supernatural" excuse doesn't cutting it. People are dying, Doc! Get sharing. VetBoss says the serial killer has a twisted view of Druids as we stop for the weekly etymology lesson. Pop quiz - druid means wise oak, they believed in balance in nature and weren't serial killers…well according to Teen Wolf that is. Historically there's not enough evidence to prove anything about them, much less if they performed human sacrifice or not. The history lesson stops when Lydia calls Stiles about the missing music teacher. Blood and scratches on the piano suggest dead. As VetBoss and Stiles look for evidence, Lydia shows how awesome Samsung phones and Dropbox are. VetBoss says the killings done in threes, each representing a different type of power. Virgins they got; now it's warriors. Lydia realizes Mr. Harris could be next. She's right because ominous chanting interrupts his test grading. Uh oh.
He's not the only one with problems though because as Isaac and Scott brag about Aidan's suspension, the Alpha Twins show up in the hallway for a good old-fashioned standoff. The brothers strip off their shirts Teen Wolf style and morph into one superwolf. Their faces seam together in an awesome effect with a weird tattooed symbol in the middle. Cool! Isaac is on drugs or something because he thinks they can take them. Scott and I trade, "Are you nuts?" looks as he pulls Isaac away. Sadly superwolf is faster and they go flying down the hall, right next to Duke who is none too pleased. The twins demorph as Deucalion takes off the tip of his cane to reveal a blade which he swiftly flicks across the twins' faces. They do nothing but follow him out. Isaac: "Who the hell is that?" At the same time VetBoss, Stiles, and Lydia arrive too late to save Harris. Luckily he left a clue in the test grades. They spell out Darach, which is a druid that goes rogue. It means dark oak. Our serial killer now has a nickname. Too bad Isaac no longer has a home. Derek kicks him out but refuses to tell him why. Come on Derek. You learned better than that last season. Now Isaac thinks he did something wrong and there's broken trust in the pack again. No good comes from this. To finally convince Isaac to leave, Derek heaves a bottle at his head, just like his dad did the night Isaac left. Isaac flees to Scott's house, while Cora looks on. Still Mr. Harris is the big loser of the night. He knows who Darach is. He apparently helped him or her, but that doesn't keep him from being strung to a tree and garroted. Chanting and lightning abound as the credits come up.
This episode had all the intrigue the last one did not and we made significant headway into both the Alpha and Darach story lines. It could have used a little more action and a lot less Duke monologuing, but all in all I liked this one a lot better. Right now I am leaning towards DGC as Darach because as a guidance counselor she has the means to learn people's secrets and while I cannot imagine talking about my sex life with a school counselor it is possible secrets were spilled. That still doesn't explain Heather or Bugged though. They didn't go to Beacon Hills High while everyone else had a connection there. That has to mean something. Of course it could always be that we have not met Darach yet and they could surprise us with someone like Matt Daehler in season 2. I am leaning away from Lydia being the murderer, but she will definitely end up being tied to Darach in some way. My outside shot is Grandpa Argent who needs the sacrifices to turn completely into a werewolf and take down Duke for alpha control. I am puzzled about the pace though. If the ritual requires 9 total sacrifices, Darach will have what he/she needs by next episode. Perhaps it will end up being 21. All I know is that this season is shaping u[p to be even better than the last.
Most Intense Scene - Isaac trapped in the janitor's closet
Most Interesting Questions - Who is Darach? What does Darach gain by completing this ritual?
MVP - Deaton. Glad he's sharing his specialized info now.
Best Reason to Watch - the mystery of Darach
Best Lines -
Stiles: "You know I guess you probably heard that people are kind of getting murdered again and it's his job to figure it out." Deaton: "Gathered as much from the sheriff title."
Stiles: "Scott, your eyes turn into yellow glow sticks okay. Hair literally grows from your cheeks and then immediately disappears and if I were to stab you right now, it would just magically heal. But you're telling me you're having trouble grasping human sacrifices?" Scott: "That's a good point too."
Boyd: "Yeah I would have told you but we're not actually friends."
Allison: "Could I ask you a question?" Isaac: "Do you have to?"
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