Back by one person's request, it's the return of the quotes of the episode. The format changes slightly depending on the episode and of course, these are just my opinion. Please add your own thoughts and opinions in the comments. I really enjoyed this episode so it's been fun going through the best quotes. There were so many of them. What were your favorites?
Words to Live By:
1. Dean: "You remember fun, don't you Sammy?"
I do Dean. I remember a time when Supernatural wasn't all doom and gloom and despair and loss. I liked that. This episode was a bright, shiny reminder of those times and I really hope that we can get back to them. Not all puppies and lollipops mind you. That rose-tinted world will never be in the Winchesters' future. Just a lack of suffocating angst where it becomes a pleasant shock to finally see the brothers smile.
13. Charlie: "Call me….maybe?"
12. Sheriff: "God forbid he was contagious. I'm going to go dip myself in hand sanitizer."
11. Dean: "What? If there's no laptops in Moondoor, there's no Geneva Convention either."
10. Charlie: "Wow. Real magic. That is really cool if not mostly terrifying."
9. Dean: "This could be 50 Shades of Grayfox for all we know."
8. Sheriff: "He lived alone which is a real shocker considering this place is full of toys."
7. Dean: "You know if you uh move your archers back and your broad swordsmen to the west…" Charlie: "Oh. Flank the warriors." Dean: "Yep." Charlie: "Hey good call." Dean: "Thanks." Charlie: "What about the southern wall…" Sam: "Guys…" Dean: "Yeah. Right. Sorry."
6. Sam: "So…anything missing from the body?" Sheriff: "You mean aside from the arms and legs?"
5. Dean: "Did you really think that sentence was going to clear things up?"
4. Charlie: "This has been a really great kidnapping but I've got to get back to not dying so…good talk."
3. Sheriff: "We didn't find any hoof prints. She probably heard a TV or was having a bad dream or she was high as balls."
2. Sam: "So the toxicology report came back on Lance. Nothing, but the medical examiner said his body showed clear signs that he was killed by belladonna." Dean and Charlie: "The porn star?" Sam: "The poison." Dean and Charlie: "Oh."
1. Sheriff: "These kids today with their texting and murder."
10. Boltar: "Now, before we exchange, a few announcements. There is a PeeWee league soccer playoff game tomorrow on the upper field. We don't want to freak out the mundanes so we've got to move the battle of Kingdoms to the…" Dean: "Alright that's it. I'm going to do this the old-fashioned way." Sam: "Dean don't…" Dean: "What?" Sam: "Come on…" Boltar: "I told you there are…" Dean: "You, shut up. Alright I need real answers. This here is a real gun. See."
9. Charlie: "The Shadow Orcs. Last group on the list, impossible to find." Dean: "Wait. I know where we can find one. I met him on the way in." Charlie: "Perfect. Maybe he can tell us what the frak this thing is."
8. Sam: "It's uh the tree of pain. Uh if you are tagged with this mark you'll be a victim of fairy magic." Maria: "Wait. Fairy magic can be bad."
7. Charlie: "Okay. I'm going to need the full wiki on where you guys have been, but first, you're going to have to ditch the suit if you're going to walk and talk with the queen."
6. Boltar: "Would a loser track down a real book of spells and compel a fairy to do his bidding?" Sam: "Depends. How'd you get it?" Boltar: "E-Bay."
5. Sam: "Nice outfit." Dean: "You love it." Sam: "Right. Well while you were playing dress up, I found out that the mark…" Dean: "Belongs to the shadow orcs." Sam: "Yeah and they're using fairy magic." Dean: "The tree of pain. Awesome." Sam: "Whoever gets marked gets ganked." Dean: "Alright, how do we stop him?" Sam: "Find whoever cast the spell and take them out. No more whammy, no more marks. No more marks, no more dead bodies."
4. Sam: "Welcome to Moondoor, Michigan's largest LARPing game." Dean: "Well and I thought we needed to get out more."
3. Dean: "Are you okay man?" Sam: "We have the most powerful weapon we've ever had against demons and we can't find a way to use it." Dean: "Yeah well Kevin's on it and when he finds something he'll call. So we wait."
2. Sam: "Why are you being so helpful all of a sudden?" Prisoner: "Look I harbor an epic crush on the queen. Maybe you could put in a good word for me when you find her." Dean: "I don't think you're her type." Prisoner: "What? You mean she's not into orcs?"
1. Sam: "These aren't fake badges." Jerry: "Uh…yeah they are and they're very good but uh…um, well the id numbers shifted to 10 digits with uh two letters mixed in at the end of the year and uh, the seal's from last month. Really good work. It's just it's a tournament weekend, okay guys, so you've got to follow the rules. 'Cause no rules, chaos. Resume."
8. Dean: "Well the FBI is all work, no play."
7. Charlie: "If the last 24 hours have taught me anything, it's that escaping isn't what it used to be. No more replacement characters for me. I've got to face reality from now on. Sadly reality actually includes monsters but…what are you going to do. If I can ever give help to you guys, let me know."
6. Charlie: "Why do I have such bad luck. What am I? Some kind of monster magnet. Is there such thing as a monster magnet? You know what, don't answer that. I don't care. What I care about is not getting my other arm broken or dying, so I'm dropping my sword and walking off the stage b**. Have fun storming the castle."
5. Dean: "So what's uh…what's next cuz no fun right. Look before you say anything, I…I….I…I get it. No amount of fun is going to help you get over what you gave up. I mean you just uh….you need time. Right?" Sam: "Yeah. Thanks. And you're right, having fun won't help me. It will help both of us. Shall we?"
4. Charlie: "No I buried myself. Then Dick Roman went down, his company belly up and I figure hey, it's all good. And I was fine. I got my life back. Now you're here and if you guys are here, monsters are here."
3. Dean: "Look we have both had a rough go over these past couple of weeks and uh I know what you gave up wasn't easy. Maybe we ought to take the night off. I mean go see a flick, hit a bar or two. Have some fun."
2. Charlie: "Okay hey, I am right here and I want to leave." Dean: "Thank you." Charlie: "But the queen...she has to stay. I mean Sam is right. People are dying and that can't happen on my watch. And you know what? I am tired of running. I like my life here. I'm going to stay and fight for it."
1. Dean: "Now wait a second. If it wasn't for you, we would have never been able to take down Dick Roman. Out there…in the real world….you are a hero."
Eye-Rollingly Bad Dialogue:
5. Charlie: "I'm just an IT girl standing in front of a monster asking it not to kill her."
4. Charlie: "Great costume bt dubs."
3. Dean: "Noticing a lot of these maidens checking you out." Charlie: "What? I can't shut this down."
2. Charlie: "Dudes, if the tent is rockin' don't come a knockin'."
1. Garth: "Garthed."
Worst Quotes of the Episode:
3. Dean: "Sam, I think we can take care of a bunch of accountants with foam swords." Sam: "We need all the help we can get Dean. People are dying." Dean: "My point, which is usually yours, is that she should get somewhere safe and get back to a normal life."
-because it wouldn't be season 8 without both the brothers arguing over something AND Sam being out-of-character. At least this time they acknowledge it in the actual dialogue.
2. Sam: "Okay we've got to lose the GPS on our phones because Garth has been tracking us and other hunters apparently to assign cases." Dean: "That's smart. It's a total Bobby move."
-Yes show, I remember the pain of Bobby's death. You don't have to rub salt in the wound by trying to make Garth the Annoying into a Bobby-type character. No one replaces Bobby.
1. Charlie: "So he found some normalcy with this chick and now it's gone again thanks to you."
-Talk about blame shifting. This line was so bad and so brother war provoking that it almost colored the whole episode.
Screencaps by Home of the Nutty and the CW