Hello and welcome back to Last Week in TV, where we are heavy on pilots this time. I apologize for the lack of reviews for most shows in this article. I got significantly behind this week and decided to focus on episode awards instead. It was either that or delay the column until next week and next week's column is already going to be packed with the CW and Agent Carter returning. I also substituted the nominated episode for Oh My Venus because marathoning this show took up most of my TV time, but I will definitely review Friday Night Lights next week. If you would like to nominate a show, please fill out the short 2-question form below. Until next week, don't forget to comment below and happy TV viewing.
Show of the Week / Nominated Show
Oh My Venus is my first foray into Korean TV. On paper, I should hate this show. It's basically a love story complete with love triangles, women fighting over a man, and all the other things my anti-shipper heart hates. Even worse is the culture shock in which the male lead tells the female male lead that her body is his so she can't say no and no one bats an eye about it. Granted, it wasn't sexual in nature. He's her personal trainer, but still. Another culture shock item was how subservient everyone except the grandmother was, mostly females but also the youth and anyone is a lower position of power in any way. For me though the best cultural difference with American TV was the lack of anything sexual on screen. Whenever characters have sex, and it's not very often considering they barely even kiss, it's always under the covers or off screen. Oh My Venus is about a female lawyer who used to be famous for her beauty as a girl but has since gained a lot of weight. On a flight she passes out and is taken care of by a handsome doctor, who then cannot rest until he sees her safely off. He officially becomes her personal trainer after she finds her boyfriend cheating on her with her new boss and former friend. Yeah, I know. The premise sounds terrible and if I had read it before watching the pilot, I never would have seen it. Instead I jumped in feet first after it was recommended by Merry Merino, whose tastes are similar to mine.
Boy am I glad I did. I sacrificed sleep for this show. Immensely marathon-able, the characters are vibrant and well-thought out. Just when you get frustrated with a character, they do something surprisingly sweet or a piece of their back story is revealed to help you understand why the character acts like they do. In fact the only characters I did not warm up to are Head Douche (evil uncle), Power Grandma (ruthless), and Stalker Girl (too crazy). The rest made me fall for them even when they occasionally made me want to Gibbs' slap them. (For goodness sakes Young Ho, let Joo Eun help for once!) Best yet, just when things hit their melodramatic peak, the show goes for a lighter touch in another part of the story to give the story hope. And that's what the whole thing is really about - hope and believing in yourself with a whole lot of hard work thrown in. Episodes 8, the first part of 9, and 13 are about as emoangsty as it gets and yet episode 9 turns into some of the most hilarious flirting known to television. I laughed out loud in every episode and often more than in my current batch of comedies. I also awwww-ed like a crazy person in several scenes. In fact, this show even made me tear up in two particularly heartbreaking moments. In 2 days, I feel like I have spent a lifetime with these characters and it was worth every moment. If all Korean TV is this good, I've found a new obsession. I highly recommend giving Oh My Venus a try, although like every show, it won't be for everyone. Just know that as a staunch anti-shipper I was rooting for more than one pair to make it. As someone concerned with the way women are portrayed in TV, I saw strength in subservience and respect with genuine affection beyond the words being said even if parts made me very uncomfortable. As someone who prefers action sequences over character studies and melodrama, I was drawn in by superb pacing even in the most ludicrous plot twists and consider the one big action sequence a low point of the series. As a cynic, this show warmed my heart and I'm just sorry that the experience has ended. Do Korean rom-coms get second seasons?
Grade: A
Ranking: 5+
TV Show Formula - TV rom com + 50's sitcom with a dash of Pride and Prejudice
Audience - anyone who does NOT mind subtitles, is okay with culture shock, and likes strong, funny, characters with a healthy helping of melodrama thrown in
Best Reason to Watch - the characters
Best Character - Kang Joo-Eun, whose determination and overall quirkiness makes her fun to watch
Best Continued Theme - the dimple
Best Subplot - Joon-Sung's search for his mother
Most Loyal - Jin-Ho, who does more for the family than anyone else and is seldom thanked for it
Most In Need of Better People in Her Life / Most Sympathetic - Hye-Ran keeps getting treated like dirt even though she is the most hardworking and most sincere person in the show. I wanted to Gibbs slap everyone for treating her with such disrespect, especially Power Grandma.
Most Annoying Character - Hye-Ran's evil, greedy brother who is one of the few characters that never improve
Most in Need of Getting Over It - Soo-Jin
Most Improved Character - Woo -Sik
Most Fun Character - Ji-Woong, who provides the comedy and the enthusiasm in every episode
Least Fun / Most Melodramatic Episodes - 8 and 13
Worst Subplot - crazy stalker actress
Best Quotes -
1. Joo-Eun: "In fear of becoming unhappy in the future, we shouldn't choose to be unhappy this moment."
2. Woo: "Santa Claus sure knows how to maximize, seriously. You got such a big present for crying all year round."
3. Joo-Eun: "Nothing is certain in life. We could even stumble when walking."
Guest Reviews
BY Emma
We left for the winter hiatus with Garcia in protective custody but with hope that the team had found the break it needed to crack this case. The title of this week’s episode, “Entropy”, is defined as the lack of order or predictability, a gradual decline into disorder. Not only is it the only physics concept I understood, it’s an apt description for this episode and the entire Dirty Dozen story line. After a several episode break to see his mom, Reid is front and center in this operation. While Reid may be the point game player in this chess match, the team was essential in making this plan work. Cat knew he would have a couple agents in the restaurant for back up so JJ was the obvious spot. Rossi was not as obvious but could be discovered if need be because Lewis and Morgan served as the “sleeper” back up. Reid and Cat’s game of twenty questions results in Reid telling the team (and us) about his mom’s new diagnosis. As someone who has a family member with dementia, Reid’s sorrow, pain and fear were spot on – Mathew Gray Gubler gave one of his best performances in this episode but in this scene, he knocked it out of the park. As the operation appears to be falling apart, Reid plays his trump card, which in the end, was one masterful play since the whole thing was a lie. Our favorite team is victorious again but it’s the hilarious and touching team moments at the end that really have the most meaning. Garcia is safe and celebrates with Jagermeister and Reid executed his best game since “Zugzwang” with the love and support of his friends, no matter what his future brings.
Grade: A+
Best Reason to Watch – wrap up the Dirty Dozen story line
Best Scene – Morgan/Reid hug
Best Character Interaction – Cat and Reid
Best Villain – Cat Adams
Best Way to Get a Hit Man to Turn on You – hire them to kill your pregnant wife
Best Surprise – Cat wasn’t fooled by the BAU and has set a trap of her own
Worst Surprise – Reid’s mom was diagnosed with dementia
Most Satisfying Moment – Cat realizes Reid lied
Best Takedown – Morgan grabs the arsonist’s phone to disable the bombs and Lewis slams her head into the bar before cuffing her
The “Welcome Back” Award (character) – Savannah
The “Welcome Back” Award (actress) – Aubrey Plaza from Parks and Recreation
Best Quotes
1. Cat: “Do you like games?” Reid: “I do.” Cat: “Do you win?” Reid: “I always win.”
2. Lewis: “Guess again, bitch.”
3. Reid: “She has early onset dementia. Most likely Alzheimer’s.” Cat: “You test yourself? No, you didn’t. You were too scared.” Reid: ”I thought I dodged a bullet when I turned 30 and didn’t have a schizophrenic break like her, but this is somehow bigger and scarier because I can actually see it happening. All the memories we used to share are just dying. I can’t stop it. I can’t help her. All I can do is find people that I can help.”
4. Drunk Garcia: “And you, I should be jealous of you because you’re so hot but I’m not. I’m not I promise. I promise I’m not. No I’m not, because all I feel in here is love. I am full of love. So much love I’m wearing too many clothes”.
5. Morgan: “Hey kid, can I tell you something? I just um…” Reid: “Yeah.” Morgan: “You know.” Reid: “I know. I know.” Morgan: “Good, cuz I mean it.”
New Shows
Colony has the bones to be a really good sci-fi show. Well, once you know for sure that aliens have taken over. Halfway through the pilot, I still wasn't sure if it was aliens or some other nation with better drones that invaded. If you expect this to be like V with spaceships and aliens roaming the earth, you'll be sorely disappointed. Instead the only thing close to a spaceship here is a beam of light going from earth to the clouds. The main antagonists are humans who are collaborating with the alien takeover and are used as the military and police forces to subdue the rest. There's also a resistance movement that seems relatively small. The majority of the people don't seem to like either side and just want to get enough food to feed their family and to avoid the Factory, which is being sent to the alien planet presumably as slave labor. Or maybe food. We don't know enough about these aliens, the invasion, or the rest of the world to be sure. This is one show that is less focused on world building in the pilot and it works in some ways better than others. By not setting up the invasion, it allows us to get to know the characters first and it keeps a steady pace. The world is revealed as they go through their daily life. That makes it more interesting but it was also more confusing. I have a feeling that the aliens here are going to be a lot like the people going missing in The Leftovers. It's the framework of the story but it is never really addressed in its own right. What works better is the concept of husband and wife working at cross-purposes. Of all the pilots this week, Colony is the most intriguing and has the most potential.
Grade: B+
Ranking - 4+
Audience - people who like their dystopia more recognizable and those who love a good resistance story
Best Reason to Watch - husband and wife are working on opposite sides
Best Scene - Will sneaks into the Santa Monica zone, only to have the truck carrying him blow up
Best Character - Katie
Best World Building - there's no traffic in LA at all because everyone is on bicycles
Biggest Commodity - coffee and apparently eggs
Least Surprising - Katie is working for the resistance
Most Kick Butt Moment - Katie pulls a gun on the scam artist and refuses to trade / Drew punches the bully in the nose
The "Well That Didn't Go as Planned" Award - I guess you can't prepare for a bombing when trying to rescue your son
The "Welcome Back" Award - Josh Holloway from LOST and Intelligence / Sarah Wayne Callies from The Walking Dead and Prison Break / Peter Jacobson from House / Paul Guilfoyle from CSI / Jason Butler Harner from The Blacklist
Best Quotes -
1. Will: "How do you do it, Snyder? Slap on a suit and smile and d** over your own kind." Snyder: "I'm doing what anybody with a brain would do in this situation. I'm taking advantage of my opportunities."
2. Snyder: "Good things come to the loyal."
3. Spider: "Two kinds of guys roll through here. Guys running to something. Guys running from something. Which are you?"
4. Katie: "I'm with you."
5. Katie: "The Occupation just hired my husband to hunt us down."
This pilot is better than I thought it would be. It's just not good. For a comedy it felt like an hour long, mostly because half the episode is a party scene. Since that scene is neither funny nor entertaining, it drags on for an eternity. More appealing is Gene surprisingly. She is vulgar and obnoxious to be sure, but her underlying need for her dad's approval gives the character more heft than I was expecting. She's not a complete brat; she's got a good heart but she's an idiot, plain and simple. Billie is equally stereotypical as the nerd who never has fun. I think both actresses could overcome the limits of their characters but it easy to see that the humor is going to be far too broad and slapstick for me.
Grade: D
Ranking - 2
Audience - anyone who likes slapstick
Best Reason to Watch - um, Billie and Gene make convincing Odd Couple-type roommates
Best Scene - Gene convinces Billie to stay
Worst Plan - breaking Gene's hand to keep her from going to prison
Biggest Filler - the never-ending party that takes up half the episode
Least Surprising - they get Billie wasted
Most Overused Word - fresh
Most Disgusting - a partygoer vomits on Billie
Most Generous - Gene, who gives out money like a party favor
The "Welcome Back" Award - Stephen Root from Newsradio and well, basically everything
Best Quotes -
1. Billie: "Look, I am not Patrick Swayze, Gene. I'm the older disapproving sister who never did another movie."
2. Billie: "You've got a gun?" Ting: "Don't worry. It always jams." Billie: "You're terrifying."
3. Kent: "It makes me uncomfortable when people tell me things I already know about myself."
4. Billie: "I'm quitting." Gene: "What? Why?" Billie: "Because you gave me a date rape drug and put me in a coma."
5. Gene: "If you love me, if you're my best friend, you will break my hand." Billie: "I just met you."
6. Gene: "Call me Beethoven 'cause I can't hear you."
Second Chance started off rocky for me and I have a feeling whether I continue to watch or not will rest solely on how much I like the Jimmy character. If he's cranky to everyone, didn't learn from his past mistakes, and becomes a vigilante, then I won't make it past 3 episodes. If he shows that he's capable of change and makes an effort, it might be my second sleeper show of the year. It is lovely having Tim DeKay back on my screen again although I am afraid he's been typecast. He's playing basically the same role as he did in White Collar. The relationship between Otto and Mary may end up being one of the better parts of the show as well, depending on how its developed.
Grade: C+
Ranking - 3+
Audience - people who like under-the-radar sci-fi shows like Intelligence
Best Reason to Watch - the concept of memory transfer into another body
Best Scene - Jimmy saves his son on the bridge
Best Job Perk - that sweet, sweet ride
Biggest Hmm - I'm confused. Did they grow a new body and transfer the memories in or did they steal 2 corpses?
Least Surprising - the procedure comes with unexpected side effects
Most in Need of a Gibbs' Slap - Mary even more than Otto because she keeps asking questions without giving Sheriff any vital info like that they switched his body
Most Intriguing Character - Otto
The "Welcome Back" Award - Tim DeKay, my beloved Peter on White Collar, playing a similar character if Neal had been actively working against him / Ciara Bravo from Red Band Society / Derek Webster from The Night Shift and The Whispers
Best Quote - Duval: "Until I figure out what you want, it's best you don't mention my family."
Shades of Blue is a decent show…for someone else. Mostly it just bored me. Don't get me wrong. The acting is good for the most part and the writing is decent so I wouldn't expect the story to unravel under its own canon. The problem is that not one of the people involved is remotely moral enough for me to root for. I do feel some sympathy for Harlee and how she got involved with this group, but everyone is a world-class douche. That's especially true for the FBI agent who is using Harlee to take down Woz. To be honest, he reminds me of Mike from Graceland and there are few protagonists I dislike more than him. In the end, this is a show badly in need of a twist because otherwise it gets lost in the hundred dirty cop sagas before it.
Grade: C
Ranking - 2
Audience - those who like serialized police dramas where everyone is dirty
Best Reason to Watch - the acting
Best Back Story - Harlee's abusive ex-boyfriend
Best Silent Moment - Harlee breaks down while breaking the car
Best Speech - Tess gets Loman to go along with her story
Worst Subplot - Tess' husband, who may or may not be cheating on her
Biggest Idiot - Earl
Biggest Douche - Take a pick. Even the non-corrupt are complete douches. Looking at you, Agent Stahl.
Biggest Tell - Harlee runs her fingers through her hair when she's lying, which gives her away to Woz
Biggest Surprise - the Internal Affairs guy is leading the big score
Least Surprising - the bookie is an FBI agent / Woz chooses Harlee to trust
Most Desperate - Harlee burns herself in order to pass the polygraph test
Most Heartbreaking - Harlee's conversation to her daughter before being polygraphed
The "Welcome Back" Award - Warren Cole from White Collar and Stalker / Jennifer Lopez from movies / Ray Liotta from movies / Drea de Matteo from The Sopranos / Otto Sanchez from Burn Notice
Best Quotes -
1. Tony: "Yeah, it's a 'we're happy you're not dead' thing." Tess: "Oh, is that why we're clapping? I thought it was because she finally showed up."
2. Marcus: "I know the politicians and the crybabies that want to stand along the sidelines and criticize how we do our job never had to do our damn job or had the sack to try. Listen you ain't hearing me. The public don't give a damn about your vulnerability in the street. That's not interesting. What it feels like to bust through that door. You think they care? All that matters is that you get home the same way you showed up."
3. Harlee: "I always told myself that the end would justify the means, but now that I'm at the end I can't justify anything."
4. Cristina: "What kind of look are we going for?" Tess: "Wholesome and honest." Cristina: "Get a new wardrobe."
5. Woz: "When I told you to show the kid the ropes, I assumed you'd work your way into shootouts."
Harlee: "Never thought much of training wheels."
I am not a fan of the Mortal Instruments books. I found them too teen-oriented for me with their love triangles and Clary was only a step above Bella Swan in her emoangsting. After seeing this pilot, I don't hold out much hope for this series either. I'm not saying that Clary doesn't have every right to act like a scared child, screaming, crying, and whining in confusion. She does. Her life sucks. I'm just not sure I am up for watching it. Plus she would find out a WHOLE lot more if she would stop interrupting everyone as they are trying to explain. As for the rest of the crew, they are fairly stereotypical for the YA genre. There's Jace, the self-absorbed tough guy who love to break the rules but has a heart of gold just waiting for the heroine to find and develop. Simon is the jealous best friend with a crush and a brainiac. The three form the first love triangle. Then there's the rocking feminist Isabelle whose comfort with her own body only means that they can dress her in ever more skimpy clothing. She's the world-wise to Clary's waif. Rounding out the pack is Isabelle's brother Alec, the straight and narrow one who won't accept Clary and will make bad choices because of it. All of them have questionable acting moments and the CGI varies in quality, but it should fit well on ABC Family, or whatever they're calling themselves these days.
Grade: C
Ranking - 2+
Audience - anyone who liked the books or typical YA supernatural romances
Best Street Smarts - Maureen, who realizes something's up with Clary's family
Best Character (so far and not for long if they follow the books) - Simon
Best Nostalgia - Forever Young
Worst Plan - waiting until your daughter's 18th birthday to tell her the truth about her legacy because you are guaranteed to die right before then
Worst Boss - Valentine, whose employees have a high death rate, mostly from him
Most Useful Accessory - bracelet whip
Biggest Facepalm - the club Pandemonium actually blinks Demon
The "Please Shut Up" Award - Why are you all babbling, crying, and apologizing when you should be straight up giving information? Seriously, give the info people need to live and then talk about how much you love them.
The "You Learn Something New Every Day" Award - apparently demons love blondes
The "Welcome Back" Award - Isaiah Mustafa from the Old Spice commercials
Best Quotes -
1. Clary: "Would you two stop making me feel insane please?" Maureen: "Would you stop acting that way?"
2. Simon: "Dressed? What are you doing undressed in an abandoned church? Clary, is there a meth problem we've got to talk about?"
3. Clary: "I'm not interested in being a part of your supernatural Fight Club. I just want to find my mom."
4. Alec: "Why do they want blood? Isn't that vampire territory?" Jace: "I don't know, Alec. Lazy vampires maybe?"
5. Clary: "You also follow Simon?" Jocelyn: "He only has 92 followers. He needs the retweets. Congratulations." Clary: "Thank you, #StalkerMom."
Weekly Shows
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - Sheldon grows up a little bit
Best Scene - Sheldon apologizes to Leonard and vows to fix things with the rest
Best Speech - Sheldon's last apology to Emily
Best Character - Amy
Best Reaction - the guys to the girls talking comic book movies
Best Plan - Amy avoids Sheldon when he's sick by staying at a conference even after it's over
Biggest Facepalm - Sheldon's apology t-shirts
Fastest Way to Get Your Apology Accepted - threaten to give it via the pan flute / do it while people are in the shower
Most Annoying - Sheldon when he's sick, who is even worse than normal
The "Oh My Eyes" Award - I really do not need to see Stripper Raj, ever
Best Quotes -
1. Amy: "Why don't you tell me what happened and in a gentle, loving way I'll explain to you why you're wrong?" Sheldon: "Well you know how when you're sick you're allowed to be cranky and say whatever you want and other people's feelings don't matter?" Amy: "Oooh, gentle and loving. This is going to be tricky."
2. Sheldon: "Oh I've been on a little trip myself recently. Not to Sin City but to Sincere City, where instead of genital warts the only growth you'll come back with is personal growth."
3. Amy: "Great, now try it as if this isn't your first day as a person."
4. Sheldon: "Hey, if you didn't know Bruce Willis was dead the whole time that's not on me."
5. Amy: "Oooh I just heard something. Might be hail. Might be gunfire. Either way I'm going to go take pictures. Bye."
So ends the very best mytharc The Blacklist has ever had. In fact, it's one of the best mytharcs I've seen on any show. At the risk of repeating myself, it was pure genius to break Liz down so much that she had to rely on Reddington and their mismatched team. It was even better than not killing off Tom, who was mostly sidelined in this episode. However Ressler made up for that. I still think the previous episode was better, especially in its pacing, but this one delivered too. My biggest concern though is where the story is headed now. Usually shows take down their Big Bad in the season finale, not episode 10 and especially not a couple weeks after midseason hiatus. Will the remainder be taking out Hitchlin or is Reddington playing a much deeper game?
Grade: B+
Best Reason to Watch (episode) - the Director is dead but Hitchin stays alive for Ressler to take down later
Best Reason to Watch (season) - all the characters are the best they've ever been
Best Scene - Reddington vs. Hitchlin phone call
MVP - the music
Best Return - Mr. Kaplan
Best Plan - keeping Ressler as a field agent instead of on a desk job
Biggest "Oh Yeah Right" Award - there is no possible way there would not be reporters hanging around trying to get the first glimpse of Liz set free
Biggest Hmmm - Why is Reddington having drinks with Hitchlin?
Biggest Previously / Biggest Filler - Red's opening exposition
Biggest Surprise - Liz is now a consultant instead of an agent, which is still generous considering she did kill the guy
Biggest Hypocrite - Hitchlin
Most Excitable - Aram
Most in Need of Teamwork Lessons - Reddington
Most Irksome - every time someone hints that they know the relationship between Reddington and Liz, they end up dead
The "And They All Went to Jail" Award - I think every single person in this episode has committed a crime in the last 2 weeks
The "Say What?" Award - Reddington is spending a fortune for a one-day plan
Best Quotes -
1. Reddington: "Ah, the sound of acquiescence."
2. Mr. Kaplan (at Navabi pulling out the weapons she's carrying): "My kind of girl."
3. Director: "I know who you really are, Raymond. Who you are to her and I know why you did this. Does she?" Reddington: "I can't think of even one set of circumstances in which that would be any of your business."
4. Gerard: "Good night, it's not the Hope diamond. Steal the damn thing." Kaplan: "And while I'm at it, shall I smile for the security cameras?"
Grade: C+
Best Reason to Watch - If you are into deep melodrama and emoangsting, this is the episode for you. It's too much for me.
Best Scene - Carla holds her baby
Best Character Interaction - Christa and Lily
Best Plan - Christa has Lily use the lights to signal for help
Best Friend - Angus for being so concerned about Mario
Best Choice for a Father Figure - Guthrie
Biggest Crisis of Conscience - Mario / Heather . Rorish
Most Stubborn - Carla will not die in order to protect her baby
Most Annoying Subplot - the husband holding the doctors hostage
Most Melodramatic - Carla and Malaya's pregnancy drama
Most Convenient - amnesia after holding two people hostage and shooting yourself
The "At Least He Tried" Award - Mario tries to tell Heather to stay away for Angus' sake but that resolution goes away fast when she doesn't agree
The "Say It Isn't So" Award- no love triangles ever please
The "Say What?" Award - Cole is just suddenly gone from the show as quickly as he appeared
Best Quotes -
Best Quotes -
1. Rorish: "I don't know what you think you know but you don't." Jesse raises his hands. Rorish: "Shut up."
2. Hudson: "That is insane." Perello: "I completely agree, Dr. Hudson." Hudson: "I said it was insane. I didn't say we weren't doing it."
3. Malaya: "Carla, listen to me. We're both stubborn as hell and we're both powerful women. I need you to be powerful and stubborn right now and hang on just a little more. I need it for you, for me, and for Phillip."
4. Angus: "Is this the part where you tell me about my confidence?" Guthrie: "You already found that as a doctor. You just feel the fear and do it anyway, but you already knew that." Angus: "Maybe I just needed to hear it. Thanks, dad." Guthrie: "You're welcome, son."
5. Neal: "You always taught me that the only thing worse than a lack of confidence is overconfidence. I'm glad we saved one. I'm just not sure that makes us right."
6. Mario: "Did you say Doc McStuffins?" Heather: "Yeah, she's a cartoon character that operates on her toys." Mario: "Oh. You probably shouldn't have told me that." Heather: "Why?' Mario: "That's all I'm going to call you now."
I'm not a big fan of the lovable idiot trope. Generally I want to Gibbs' smack them and tell them to grow up. In this case the idiot trio aren't even lovable and since I didn't laugh once in this episode, it's time to drop this show. Life's too short to watch TV that only makes your eyes roll.
Grade: D
Status: Dropped
Best Reason to Watch - character interaction
Best Characters - Josh and Leslie
Best Guest - Paula Abdul
Biggest Moocher - Cooper and friends
Least Surprising - they did NOT rob a bank
The "Way to Make Things Even More Weird" Award - Leslie and Josh are deep into "foot in mouth" territory
Best Quotes -
1. Cooper: "Hey Josh, what are you up to?" Josh: "Oh well, you know, Leslie called Kelly a whore, I touched her boob, she doesn't want to have sex with us, but I think Brinley's into it."
2. Cooper: "And after rent and the fine from the city, we should have enough for Neal's boss' divorce."
My interest in CSI: Cyber is largely determined by the case of the week and this one was good. I like how the central mystery of why the plane went missing became apparent midway, allowing for a good twist. The fact that the assassin could crash the plane at any moment gave the episode the intensity it needed. Still the best thing about this episode was definitely Artie. He's the kind of fun, quirky character that lifts the whole mood if used in moderation. I'm so glad they made him a consultant so we can get more time with him. In fact, I am good if he takes DB's spot permanently. Points deducted though because much of it made no logical sense whatsoever.
Grade: B-
Best Reason to Watch - the countdown makes the case more intense
Best Scene - the pilot kills the plane computer and has to try to level off the place
Best Twist - the hijacking is actually a witness protection murder
Best Plan - making Artie a more regular part of the show
Biggest Huh? - If a gang knows what murder was witnessed and they know the person was at their home, how much of a mystery can it be who the witness is, especially when the pool of people to choose from is a dozen? They can't find an old yearbook? And as someone who used to watch In Plain Sight, there is no way in Hades that Mary or Marshall would allow a federally protected witness on stage in a national interview. What the heck, people?
The "Say What?" Award - How exactly does a plane go missing over land?
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Artie
The "Welcome Back" Award - Dameon Clarke from Supernatural and Graceland
Best Quotes -
1. Artie: "What did I miss?" Nelson: "I don't know but I love it when he's excited about this."
2. Nelson: "And no one's defecting from Florida to Rhode Island. I doubt it's political."
3. Avery: "Are you asking me on a date?" Artie: "Well you're a powerful, beautiful woman. You bet I am."
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - the Bell subplot
Best Scene - Nolan's interrogation
Best Friend - Sherlock and Watson find a way for Bell to earn the money he needs without having to step away from detective work
Best Face - Bell's completely uninterested in Sherlock's teaching via dummy
Best Twist - the victim is a serial killer's daughter and she was murdered in the same way he did
Best Reaction - Sherlock to Bell coming down from Joan's room when he got home
Most Touching - Clift keeps his dead mother's picture on his desk
Least Surprising - the brother did it
Least Ethical - Joan goes through the doctor's computer after she told her that she wasn't going to break doctor-patient privilege
The "Say What?" Award - He killed his sister because she was going to keep her baby? That makes no sense.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Noah Bean from Nikita and 12 Monkeys / David Alan Basche from The Exes
Best Quotes -
1. Bell: "You realize most of this won't even be on the exam." Watson: "We don't believe in teaching to the test."
2. Sherlock: "I was mistaken. You don't know what my partner looks like naked." Bell: "Speak up, would ya'? I don’t think the guys in the cell heard you."
3. Sherlock: "You're lying. Do it again. Tell us where you were Monday night." Warren: "I was at home with my wife." Sherlock: "I can't accept an alibi from anyone with that particular hairstyle."
4. Sherlock: "I suppose it's the classic romantic trope. Boy kills girl. Girl's son pursues boy's daughter. His intentions entirely pure." Watson: "Purely homicidal maybe." Sherlock: "I do hope that Mr. Clift has located his attorney because I'd really like to speak to him again."
5. Sherlock: "You have my full support. Anyway I can always use friends in medium places." Bell: "Well hey, as long as it helps you."
Remember when Galavant was silly, snarky fun? Not so much this week. My biggest problem lies in Isabella, of course. I can't think of a worse way to bring the leading lady back. First she's some emoangsty teenager wallowing over her relationship. Then she turns into a brainless stooge in a plot ripped straight out of a Grimm and OUaT crossover. Remember when Isabella was the brains of this group? Oh, forget it. There were some highlights, mostly in the form of Madalena, Gareth, and Sid. The rest not so much. I need them to either kill the Izzy subplot quickly or spend the majority of the time in Valencia. And stop with the drippy songs. Bring back the catchy ones.
Grade: C+ / B
Best Reason to Watch - Madalena and Gareth
Best Speech Maker - Richard
Best Meta - the crowd points out that Galavant's mission is much like season 1
Best Catch - Galavant keeps a dagger from going through Richard
Best Song - Build a New Tomorrow
Best Drippy Song - What Am I Feeling
Worst Subplot - Isabella turns into an emoangsty teen instead of the superior woman she was in season 1 and then she turns into a brainless bride. Thus she went from fabulous to annoying in one episode flat.
Nicest Gesture - Gareth slices the ears off of the queens who made fun of Madalena
Biggest What the Heck - How exactly did they repurpose the castle?
Biggest Hint a New Character will be Evil - if their name sounds evil like say Wormwood, they will be too
Most Sympathetic - surprisingly King Richard's song about not having any job now is touching
Most Tiresome - Gwen's difficulty in adjusting to castle life / everything Izzy
Most Missed - the Richard and Gareth bromance
Most Like Season 1 - "Serenade (Maybe You Won't Die Alone)" is the snarky kind of love song that made "Maybe You're Not the Worst Thing Ever" such fun
Most Likely to Channel Her Inner Ghostbusters - Isabelle
The "Please Shut Up" Award - Richard pretty much tells the other knight to steal from them
The "Maybe It's a Job Thing" Award - If Gareth is turning into a child as king too, maybe Richard came by it honestly?
The "I'm with You" Award - Isabella makes great points about how insane wedding plans are
Best Quotes -
1. Magdalena: "Do you know what happens when a queen loses her beauty sleep?" Sid: "She can sleep in later because she's a queen and she can do whatever she wants? Magdalena: "She could get a wrinkle and if she gets a wrinkle, she'll make sure you get a wrinkle…on your neck. I'm sorry. I'm not being very clear. I'm really tired. What I'm trying to say is that if you don't fix it I'll cut your throat, okay? Nighty night."
2. Mayor: "If on every single note we simply took a vote, we'd build a new tomorrow here today." Galavant: "So the butcher gets a vote?" Mayor: "Yep." Richard: "The baker gets a vote?" Mayor: "Yep, and everyone who couldn't vote before." Blacksmith: "Except of course the women." Baker: "And we won’t let him or him in." Mayor: "We mean everybody else…" Tailor: "Except the poor." Galavant: "Progressive for the Middle Ages."
3. Richard: "Well we should probably go, I stole these horses and just set fire to the rec center. Dismantle my castle, will you?"
4. Galavant: "Why don't we go for dinner tonight, hmm? Somewhere candlelit." Richard: "Hmmm. So…anywhere." Galavant: "Yeah, pretty much anywhere at all."
5. Mayor: "Though I can't imagine a free people ever voting to send an army into an open-ended foreign conflict which profits only the few. That would be madness."
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - Murray gives Adam the best advice
Best Scene - Adam walks into the dance with both Emmy and Dana
Best Save - Adam apologizes to both Emmy and Dana in the most heartfelt manner
Best Speech - Coach pep talks Beverly
Best Reference - Alyssa Milano, KITT
Funniest Reference - the big cell phone
Biggest Face palm - Barry thinks Ben Franklin was president
Biggest Nostalgia - My Girl Scout troop traveled to fill in an empty spot for Hands Across America. It was a crazy, big deal then.
Biggest Laugh - Beverly substitutes Baio for Ben Franklin
Most Obvious Answer - Why doesn't David Kim go with one of the girls? He doesn't seem to have anything to do at this dance.
Worst Advice Ever - Pops tells Adam that he should take 2 girls to the dance and not tell either
Weirdest Relationship - Murray and the dog
The "Welcome Back" Award - Mirsky and Dana
Best Music - Heaven is a Place on Earth by Belinda Carlisle
Best Quotes -
1. Murray: "You know what I think?" Adam: "Yes, I'm a moron. I get it." Murray: "No, I don't think you do. When I say 'Don't be a moron,' it really means something." Adam: "You mean beyond just being rude and insulting?" Murray: "Yeah that's just part of it, but it's my way of saying be honest, be a good person. That's how I live my life and you know what? It works." Adam: "So how do I make it up to Emmy and Dana?" Murray: "That's easy. Don’t be a moron."
2. Beverly: "I want to help with Hands Across America." Coach: "Okay." Beverly: "And by help I mean push you aside and take over entirely."
3. Coach: "We can't compete with Philly. Philly is the Paris of Pennsylvania."
4. Mirsky: "Did you make me the Hulk?" Adam: "Yes, but only because I don't like you when you're angry."
5. Murray: "Hey, how you holding up?" Adam: "Well I've got no girlfriend, no best friend, and no feeling in both hands so not good."
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - things are heating up for Blaine now that Dale and Clive's cases intertwine
Best Scene - Vaughn threatens to serve his lead doctor to the zombies in order to test Major
Best Exercise - digging holes in a field
Best Reaction - Liv to Clive saying that she can come along on the case
Best Acting - Clive and Liv get the murderer to confess with their charade
Best Reaction - Clive to the actor's emotional tribute to the dead guy
Best Timing - Vaughn starts walking like an Egyptian right after I saw Scorpion, where they talked about walking like an Egyptian (so it's only funny to me, moving along)
Best Twist - Major is using the Fit Bit band to listen in on Vaughn. Smart!
Biggest Awww - Clive lets Liv work on the case with him
Biggest Product Placement - Fit Bit
Biggest Mooch - Clive at the food services table
Most Talented - Liv
Most Laughable - whatever weird chicken dance Blaine was doing
Least Surprising - the flash drive given to Major was just a test of loyalty
Best Gag - all the Christmas puns from everyone
The "Well That Got Heavy Quickly" Award - apparently Clive and Dale are hot and heavy
Best Quotes -
1. Major: "I got you a little something, Liv." Liv: "Ah. Oh, Zombie High the complete second season." Ravi: "What's my gift?" Major: "Not having to watch that."
2. Ravi: "No spoilers. I'm only halfway through season 2." Liv: "I thought you hated the show." Ravi: "I did but it's like mental pork rinds. I can't stop."
3. Major: "You really need to work on the whole good news concept."
4. Ravi: "She's seen every episode…like on purpose."
5. Zombie #1: "We should cut him some slack. At least Wyatt talks to us unlike our dear departed Marlon Brandouche."
6. Zombie #1: "You know what would be fun? A zombie show where the zombie's the star." Clive: "That's dumb."
After a promising start, The Shannara Chronicles falls prey to classic teen quest angst. Amberle is the reluctant hero who has to be persuaded the entire time that she is indeed a super special snowflake and only she can save the day. Plus she's an irritating brat. The combo is not pretty. Eritrea and Amberle spitting at each other the whole time was less than fun too. Then add in the fact that they still aren't anywhere near the actual quest. At least Wil was a little better so there's that but for the most part this episode needed a swift kick in the pants. Good thing episode 4 gets them back on track. Could we please stop this dreaded love triangle before it really kicks in though? Please!
Grade: C-
Best Reason to Watch - getting closer to the quest
Best Save - the demons, who keep us from the Amberle and Eretria teen junk
Best Job Perk - Allanon's druid position comes with magical healing powers
Best Entrance - Allanon beheads the demon
Worst Ride Ever - Wil gets dragged along by Eritrea's henchmen
Least Likely to Follow a Direct Order - Wil…or maybe Amberle…no, Eretria. Actually all of them. Urgh!
Biggest Tell - Wil's ears
Most Irritating - Eretria's dad and Amberle
Most Interesting - Bandon
The "We Don't Have Time for This" Award - Amberle, I realize this is all a shock but there is no time to for you to brood. There's a tree to save.
Best Quotes -
1. Amberle: "You're braver than you look." Wil: "Don't mistake terror for bravery."
2. Wil: "That wasn't even close to a fair fight." Eretria: "Well the world isn't fair."
3. Allanon: "Everything, all of this, is not happening because of you. It is happening to you and the sooner you accept that the better."
4. Allanon: "Blaming yourself is worthless. The stones are his burden to bear."
Grade: B+
Best Reason to Watch - the bromance is back
Best Scene - Sheriff and Stiles talk about what happened with Psycho, guilt, forgiveness, and a parent's love
Best Character - Sheriff
Best Moment - Scott and Stiles lift the locker together
Best Awww Moment - Stilinski family hug
Best Return - Kira and Mama Fox
Best Hashtag - #ScilesIsBack
Best Entrance - the skinwalkers
MVP - background music, especially when Meredith rises from the bathtub
Worst Motivation - Theo always threatening his pack while telling them that he's protecting them
Worst Supernatural Side Effect - banshee nightmares
Worst CGI - La Bete
Worst Teen Wolf Trope - explaining the episode title
Most Creepy - bloody bathtub Meredith
Most Pointless - Tracey kills the guard, Donavan Donati
Most Recapitation / Biggest Product Placement - the video of La Bete
Biggest Huh? - So what exactly happened once Parrish went to Eichen House?
Biggest Question - Who wrote the title in the sewer floor and why?
Biggest Laugh - After the Soviet says they cannot torture him into talking, he totally spills for money
Biggest Foreshadowing??? - Why does the orderly think Lydia is dangerous? She's been catatonic the whole time.
Biggest Surprise - When did Stiles learn Latin?
The "I'm with Him" Award - While I admire DRS' desire to be honest, I have to guy with Random Deputy here. Turn in an official police report talking about monsters and even in Beacon Hills, you're therapy bound.
The "Well Duh" Award - of course Stiles knows all his dad's passwords
The "Half Naked Boy Alert" Award - it's Scott's abs for the eye candy tonight
The "It's Not Working" Award - the more they talk about La Bete's history, the more it makes my eyes roll
Best Music - "Bada Boom, Bada Bling" by Caleb Hawley / Exorcism by Clairity
Best Quotes -
1. Sheriff: "The story Theo told me about the library, that's how it happened except it didn't happen to him." Stiles hangs his head: "Yeah." Sheriff: "Stiles, I can't protect you if I don't know the truth. Did you really feel like you couldn't tell me?" Stiles: "I couldn't tell anyone." Sheriff: "Honestly, did you think that I wouldn't believe it was self-defense? Stiles: "But what if it wasn't? What if I told you I wanted him dead?" Sheriff: "I'd believe you. I also believe that wanting someone dead and murdering them are two VERY different things." Stiles: "Yeah well, what if the judge didn't think so?" Sheriff: "Then the hell with the judge. Stiles, it was self-defense and I would destroy every shred of evidence to protect you if I had to. I would burn the whole sheriff's station to the ground." Stiles: "And what about upholding the law? What about Kira?" Sheriff: "Kira was a mistake. I guess I'm learning how to bend." Stiles: "So what? It just goes away?" Sheriff: "Not for you. Problem now is how to bear this burden. This kind of thing is not at all uncommon in law enforcement - a fatal mistake, a partner who dies, one who gets paralyzed. Stiles, you carry that with you and sometimes it doesn't truly feel okay again until there's…there's a kind of counterbalance." Stiles: "Like what?" Sheriff: "Like instead of taking a life, you manage to save one. Something like that can help, maybe only for a moment. Look the real conflict you're having now is between your head and your heart. Your head…your head knows that the only crime you committed was surviving but your heart…your heart still thinks it was murder. So I guess you…uh, you've got to get your heart to catch up to your head." Stiles: "I feel like it's more than guilt though. You know I feel like…uh, I feel like I lost something. You know I feel like I can't get it back." Sheriff: "You won't. Not entirely, but you get a little bit by forgiving yourself and since that's not always the easiest thing in the world to do, then maybe you start by forgiving someone else, someone who probably really needs it." Stiles: "Someone like Scott."
2. Scott: "What did you do?" Theo: "Found some new friends. I don't take rejection well."
3. Scott: "We need help. If Theo's got his own pack now, then we need ours and we have to get the others back." Stiles: "The others? You mean Kira who's currently battling a homicidal fox spirit inside of her, Malia who isn’t even speaking to either one of us, Lydia who's stuck in Eichen House, and Liam who almost killed you?" Scott: "Also known as our best friends."
4. Mason: "Sorry but Theo leading an evil chimera pack wasn't exactly a natural progression to the conversation."
5. Stiles: "I still hate that tattoo." Scott: "I know."
6. Scott: "You want my help?" Stiles: "Yeah well, you said you can help find the clues that I can't."
The bottom line for the 1-hour premiere of season 2 is that if you liked the first season, you're going to love these episodes. Season 2 starts with Liza getting ready to welcome Caitlin back but torn on whether she should tell her daughter the truth or not. She decides to postpone the big conversation, which comes back to haunt her later on. The first episode works best when it focuses on Maggie and Liza's relationship anyway. Maggie is a rock of support and common sense for Liza through her big misunderstanding with Josh, whose plotline pretty much sucks here. It would be nice if he had any part where he doesn't look like a hot idiot. Luckily Kelsey fares better. I love the idea of her getting a promotion and a whole lot more responsibility. I'd love to see Hilary Duff have more to do on the show and this seems like a step up.
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - the characters
Best Scene - Charles and Kelsey talk promotion
Best Speech - Josh about trusting their friends with her secret
Best Moment - Liza tucks in a sleeping Caitlin
Best Mean Girl - Diana has the dentist transferred to Time-Warner customer service instead of Charles' office
Best Job Promotion - Forget the money. Charles gives Kelsey her own imprint, proving that he has faith in her.
Best Use of the Truth - Liza gets an unwanted suitor to leave her alone by telling him that she has a daughter in college
Worst "Date" - Diana and Charles
Worst Liar - Josh, who is three light bulbs short of a foursome when Lauren grills him
Worst Return - Thad
Biggest Eyeful - Lauren, walking around naked / Caitlin sees Liza and Josh making out
Biggest Say What? - Why is Liza mad at Josh for doing his job? Be mad about the misunderstanding, sure. Be mad that he gave a tattoo to a paying customer? I don't think so.
Biggest Face Palm - Liza takes Josh's text to mean they are breaking up and not that he has to work late. Even I knew what he was trying to say and I'm older than Liza.
Biggest Griller - Lauren
Most Likely to Kill the Mood - Josh with his references to Liza's age every 10 seconds
Most Accurate - sick lit
Most Mature Point of View - Josh counsels Liza to tell Kelsey the truth so neither of them have to lie anymore
Most Grey Area - usually I am a proponent of the truth being better than secrets in TV life but given the way Caitlin responded to Josh, I'm not sure she could handle the truth (Jack Nicholson voice)
The "Hope That's Not True" Award - Kelsey practically writes the book for the author
The "Please Stop Talking" Award - Liza, you're never going to figure out what's going on with Josh if you keep talking over him
The "Make Lemonade" Award - at least a broken tooth lead to a book deal
Best Quotes -
1. Diana: "Honestly, it's like you've got some form of literary Tourette's."
2. Liza: "Have you ever heard of punctuation?"
3. Liza: "Okay, what just happened there?" Maggie: "That's your daughter having a life. I suggest you do the same."
4. Liza: "Okay, can we stop doing the math now?"
5. Maggie: "Hon, let's never stop lying to each other. Okay?"
6. Liza: "And then she said that I was having a midlife crisis." Maggie: "Your crisis was your boring life before this.
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