Hello and welcome back to our regular format for Last Week in TV after our previous awards column. Unlike years past, it feels like there really is no winter hiatus since shows have come back so quickly. This edition in particular has a lot of pilots and I didn't even get to see many of them. Bordertown is missing because it wasn't at all my kind of show. I barely got through the end of it. I've also not included And Then There Were None, Colony, Billions, Dickensian, or War and Peace, many of which I had not heard of before the last two weeks. I will be adding them in as I get time. This week also saw the return of favorites Teen Wolf and Galavant. See, no hiatus here. Has your TV week been as busy? Any new or midseason shows you've seen that have blown you away? Tell all in the comments below. Also don't forget to nominate your favorite shows for me to watch. Next week I will be reviewing nominated episode, Friday Night Lights' "The Son". I'm excited because I've heard great things about it. So until next week, happy TV viewing.
Episode of the Week
This is my favorite Elementary episode of the season and surprisingly it doesn't have Sherlock's father in it. Instead we learn of Joan's issues with her dad. Apparently after she found out about his affair, she has had trouble relating to dear old dad. Her father, stuck for a book idea and desperate to reconnect with Joan if only through writing fiction, pens a novel loosely based on Joan and Sherlock's adventures. This was one of the better personal subplots of Sherlock and I liked getting to meet Joan's stepdad, especially since he's played by John Heard whom I've liked since Beaches. It was also interesting to see Joan getting emotional in her personal life. Her anger and hurt is very real but in the end, she comes up with a way to reconnect with her dad in a way they can both live with. On Sherlock's side, there is Moriarty Junior. I don't know if anyone else saw traces of Moriarty in this imposter but I found her fascinating. Sherlock obviously does too given the expert way she lies. I love that this girl is still a complete mystery to Sherlock at the end and if there's one thing Sherlock doesn't deal well with, it's an unsolved mystery. That gives me hope that we will see Cassie again.
Best Reason to Watch - both the case and the personal aspects were fascinating
Best Scene - Watson's dad says he wrote the book to feel closer to her after his affair
Best Awww Moment - Watson suggests that her dad and she work on his next book together
Most Fascinating - Cassie
Most Subtle Mockery - Joan basically blasts her father's book for including guns, karate, and two leads hooking up, the exact things that make Elementary different from all the other cop shows out there
Most Violent Plan - Sherlock detonates a bomb in the suspect's home to get access to it
Most in Need of Returning - while I would love to see Joan's father again, I am more fascinated by Cassie's chameleon act and how obviously smart she is
Worst Home Decorating - color coded case files on the walls and floors
Biggest Hmm - Exactly how much money does Watson make in this detective business? If she can buy 4,000 copies of a hardback book at roughly $15 a pop at the drop of a hat, she's making a nice salary.
Biggest Facepalm - I accidentally spoiled myself on IMDb about what I thought was the big plot twist. Luckily Sherlock revealed the twist 14 minutes into the story so I wasn't spoiled the whole episode.
The "Welcome Back" Award - John Heard from a bazillion movies / Kathryn Erbe from Law & Order: Criminal Intent / Raphael Sbarge from Once Upon a Time / Ally Ioannides, who plays Tilda on Into the Badlands
Best Quotes -
1. Joan's Dad: "So how did you know that that was me?" Joan: "Grover Ogden? We lived on Ogden Avenue. Grover was our dog and by the way, that's how you make a porn name, not a pen name."
2. Cassie: "May I come in?" Sherlock: "Well I'm not sure you should. There's no wood chipper in here."
3. Sherlock: "Frankly Captain, I'm surprised you don't find our thesis more compelling." Gregson: "I find it compelling as hell but I also think I'm the only parent in the room."
4. Sherlock: "You are one of the best liars I have ever met and that is saying something."
BY Laura Markus
Fantastic episode! One of the best I've seen. This episode was undoubtedly the best, cohesive episode of the entire series. Every plot line impacted the bigger picture in some way, and I was thoroughly interested in all of them, unlike other episodes. Luke and Malina were adorable together and their meet up with Quentin and Phoebe was intense. Erica is still a b****, and I still wanted Harris dead, and I think I got what I wished for. Nathan reunited with Emily and Anne, Miko interacted with Nathan some more and did the killing of Harris, and Farah and Carlos freed the EVOs and reunited with Father Mauricio and José. We saw Joanne for a bit, who got an alarming request from Erica. I cannot wait for the remaining two episodes!
Best Reason to Watch - Everyone had equal, useful, and thrilling screen time.
The "Missing in Action" Award - Noah Bennet. Where's he at?
Best Scene - Luke and Quentin having an exchange in a cornfield.
The "Finally!" Award - Miko kills Harris, the original Harris, so hopefully he's gone for good now.
Saddest Scene - After finding where Micah was being held, Mauricio gets shot.
The "Oh, Crap!" Award - Erica tasking Joanne to kill Malina, who's being protected by Luke.
Funniest Moment - Luke, saying, "You can't block a glock."
The "You're Ruining My Favourite Character" Award - Two words: Matt Parkman.
1. Luke: "Okay, okay, go, go. Go to the barn at the edge of the field." Malina: "No. I'm the one they're after. This isn't your destiny." Luke: "You don't know that." Malina: "How are you gonna defend yourself? You don't have your power." Luke: "You can't block a glock. Now go, please. Please!"
2. - Quentin: "Whoa, whoa!" Luke: "Drop the gun." Quentin: "You're that Odessa guy. You're the one who stole Noah Bennet's car. You killed all those people at Primatech. You shot me." Luke: "My wife wanted to kill you. I told her not to. One of the few things she was right about. Gotta love second chances."
Quentin: "You're on the wrong side, buddy. You don't know what you're doing. [...] Where's Bennet? Why are you running the show?" Luke: "Bennet's gone." Quentin: "What?" Luke: "Why are you worried so much about Bennet, anyway? You should be worried about yourself. If you even think about pulling that trigger, I will roast you faster than your buddy over here. [...] How committed are you? You willing to die for your side?"
3. Malina: "You shoot fire balls out of your hands. Why do you need a gun and bullets?" Luke: "Well, because my powers are unreliable without the sun. So, if we have to fight at night, we're gonna need insurance. We are in Missouri, after all. I can get you your own gun if you want one." Malina: "No need, I have a 24-hour power."
4. Miko [about to fight Harris]: "I've been looking forward to this."
This was probably the funniest episode of the season so far for me. Gregory’s mom was shockingly, hilariously mean and she catalyzed some amazing reactions from Bonnie, Christy, Gregory and Violet. Her comedic timing and delivery are ones for the ages. Linda Lavin should seriously win an award for this because I laughed out loud multiple times during this episode. Kreplach and a Tiny Tush was the most farcical episode of the season and it worked out surprisingly well. I’m not usually a fan of farces, but the way that each person came barging in to demand Christy’s help while she was trying to have a normal and respectable party for Violet and her soon to be mother-in-law was unexpectedly hilarious and well-crafted comedy. The B-plot involving Bonnie and her inability to admit that Steve was her boyfriend wasn’t as funny but it did have its moments and it provided insight into her character. This isn’t the first time one of the Plunkett women has been shown to be uncomfortable with emotional intimacy or commitment. Christy had a similar storyline in season two. Like mother, like daughter, I guess. It was unfortunate to see Bonnie lose someone she cared about because she couldn’t admit she was in a relationship, but to be honest, Steve wasn’t really a catch and Bonnie deserves better.
Best Reason to Watch- The wonderful balance of character work and humor.
Best Scene- The hilarious dinner party towards the end of the episode that lets everyone showcase their remarkable comedic talents.
Best Guest Actor/Actress- Linda Lavin
Most Effectively Broad Comedy- The constant and increasingly ridiculous entrances of recurring characters coming to either confront Bonnie or demand Christy help them out.
Best Caretaker- Christy, who does her best to help fix everyone else’s problems while making a good impression for her daughter.
Master of Verbal Takedowns- Phyllis, who was able to shock even Bonnie silent.
1. Christy: “We’ll be on our best behavior. You’ll swear we’re other people.”
2. Bonnie: “Which one do you want first? Keep in mind, the pizza will get cold, but this (gestures to body) will stay hot forever.”
3. Bonnie (after her boyfriend asks her out to lunch): “That’s not even one Shade of Grey.”
4. Christy: “Mom, from the bottom of my heart I just gotta tell ya: Your problems are stupid.”
5. Christy: “Mom, do you mind taking your dumb*** life outside?”
I had a lot of reservation concerning this special. For starters, I feel that it mostly exists to badly conceal the fact that the waiting time between the season is becoming longer and longer, to tide the fandom over during a wait which will at the very least last three bloody years. But I also didn't really see the point to putting the characters back in time. After all, if I want to see a Victorian Sherlock, there are a lot of shows to pick from. But in the end, it blew my mind! And that even though it turned out to be what I usually hate seeing in TV, a dream episode. Usually one dream sequence is enough to put me off an episode, and here I got a 90 minutes mind trip. I think my dislike for this kind of episodes stems from the fact that most dream sequences in TV feel more like filler than anything else. They usually don't have much of a meaning and next to no purpose aside from showing some trippy scenes. But this special actually did have something to say. In fact, the meta narrative of this one is so complicated, I will need weeks to digest it. We have:
1. A commentary on the source text Sherlock Holmes Fans will love (the episode is firing references by the minute! And sometimes the second.)
2. A commentary on the inherent sexism of the source text which was written in a very different era and the need to give the female characters (mainly Mary) a voice in a modern adaptation of it, whether certain parts of the fandom like it or not.
3. A delve into Sherlock's complicated psyche, how he sees himself and his relationships to the different people in his live.
4. A more thorough exploration of Sherlock's drug addiction than we've gotten beforehand.
5. And between all of this are some much needed answers for the current time-line. Yes, Mycroft knows who Mary is, and Mary knows that he knows. Yes, Moriarty is truly dead. And yes, fans will now spend the rest of the waiting time looking for clues on what is about to come.
It is really impressive how the show pulls off all this without missing a beat. Well, perhaps for one exception. Fat Mycroft didn't really work for me. Or, to be precise, the way he was portrayed as over-eater rather than someone too lazy to move enough, bothered me. They took the (unfunny) joke way to far, imho. That this complicated construct works at all is mostly due to the excellent actors. Special shot-out for Martin Freeman, who manages to portray Watson slightly different from John, inserting him expertly with some Victorian stiffness, Marc Gatiss, who might deliver his best performance so far by portraying Mycroft's complex feelings for Sherlock spot on, and Louise Brealey, who somehow manages to make the notion of a woman posing daily as a man believable. Thus said, this is an episode for the dedicated fans, for those who have fun taking apart the different layers and spotting the references. It is a love letter to Sherlock Holmes, but also to those, who follow his stories and try to understand him. Casual watchers will most likely feel lost.
Best Reason to Watch - Finally something new to talk about for the content starved Sherlock fan!
Best Scene - The short glimpse into Mycroft's memories of Sherlock's drug addiction.
Best Character - Inside Sherlock (naturally), Out Mycroft is stealing the show.
Best Turn - The cut back to the tarmac. While there was something off about what was shown beforehand, I really didn't see that coming.
Best Prop - The Reichenbach Fall, in all variations.
Best Effect - Most of the show-typical flourishes have become familiar at this point, but they are still compelling to look at. I especially loved the way they cut from the Victorian apartment to the modern street in the end.
Most Creepy - Everything involving the bride delivers on the kind of old-fashioned Victorian horror I was missing in the Hound of Baskerville episode. This song will haunt my dreams!
Most Deliberately Ridiculous - Watson saying to the maid that he will tell his wife to a have a word with the maid.
Most Satisfying Moment - John kicking Sherlock's addiction down the waterfall.
Biggest Head Scratcher - Is Janine's presence a hint that Sherlock overlooked her and that she has a connection to Moriarty?
1. Watson: "Those are my words, not yours! That is the version of you that I present to the public. The brain without a heart. The calculating machine. I write all of that, Holmes, and the readers lap it up. But I do not believe it."
2. Holmes: "Pass me your revolver. I have a sudden need to use it."
3. Mycroft: "What do you think of MI5 security?" Mary: "I think it would be a good idea."
I have to admit that I was underwhelmed about seeing this pilot after the previews came out. Jane Lynch plays Amy, a character as unappealing, gross, and obnoxious as the promos make her out to be. However there is a lot more heart here than I expected as well. Allison's family is supportive and interesting characters in their own right. They dump (I think) the most annoying character right in the pilot and Maggie Lawson makes Allison sympathetic if slightly too nice. The only real problem I foresee from this pilot is that Amy is very likely to get on my nerves. It's definitely not marathon material. What remains to be seen is if it is weekly material or not. It gets 2 more episodes to convince me.
Ranking - 3
Audience - people who are fine with bodily function jokes and can use a little heart in their comedies
Best Reason to Watch / Biggest Surprise - the heart
Best Scene - Amy cheers up Allison with S'Mores
Best Character Interaction- Allison and Brad
Most Over-the-Top - Jane Lynch as Amy
Biggest Product Placement - Pantene
Cheesiest Moment - Allison sees Amy in a picture of her as a little girl
Worst Lie - Amy says she has cancer to get Allison to go to the bar with her
The "Welcome Back" Award- Maggie Lawson, formerly from Psych / Jane Lynch, formerly from Glee / Kyle Bornheimer from Agent Carter and Playing House / Liza Lapira from Battle Creek and NCIS / Kevin Pollak from The Drew Carey Show and She's All That
Best Quotes -
1. Allison: "Another scarf? I didn't agree to move in with Steven Tyler's mixed aunt."
2. Allison: "Look, I am a skin doctor. I think what you need is a psychiatrist or maybe a sober living arrangement."
3. Allison: "Dad, come on. We're dermatologists, not cautionary tales."
4. Allison: "Everybody, the party celebrating my relationship ended when my relationship ended." Brad: "You heard her, folks. Move it or lose it."
5. Allison: "Are you applying for the job of her gay best friend?"
I have a feeling Cooper Barrett's life is going to be far too silly for me. Barry, the episode's title character, is an idiot, plain and simple. When he was explaining why that TV was so important to him, it should have been touching to me. Instead all I could do was roll my eyes at all the stupid stuff they did in pursuit of it. He's going to have to improve big time or else he will be the deal breaker on this show for me. Still even the best characters were annoying in their immaturity. Josh can't just tell his wife that he's spending time with his brother? Why? In the end, I am not sold on this show but I'm not sure I wouldn't like it later either. The format of storytelling over several years is intriguing and Cooper could go either way as a character. Therefore it gets one more episode to make me believe in its charms.
Audience - people who adore lovable loser characters
Best Reason to Watch - characters have a real bond
Best Character - hmmm, a tie between Cooper and Josh right now
Best Save - Josh with his minivan
Best Reference - Batkid
Best Reason to Check the Label - Cooper's energy drink contains the day-glo element in glow sticks
Least Surprising - the TV they stole was not theirs
Most Surprising - the landlord stole the TV
Most Novel - the episode takes place over 5 years and as a concept it actually worked for me
Worst Plan - stealing your TV back
Worst Hiding Place - the dryer
Worst Pet - full size pig in an apartment
Worst Timing - Cooper gets kidnapped right after kissing Kelly on national TV
The "Welcome Back" Award - Liza Lapira from Battle Creek / Justin Bartha from National Treasure
Best Quotes -
1. Neal: "The thing is, dude, I've been crunching some numbers and based on my looks, salary, and personality deficiencies, there's an 87% chance my wife will have a moustache." Cooper: "Then she'll be the luckiest, hairiest woman in the world."
2. Neal: "You make the creepiest first impression. Have I ever told you that before?"
3. Cooper: "The guy learning to use the door is Neal."
What would happen if Harry Potter took place in America but still had cool accents?
What would happen if Harry Potter took place at college so we could have all the sex, drinking, and drugs Harry and friends missed out on?
What exactly does JK Rowling have against America anyway?
Still for all its story issues, the bones of a great new fantasy adventure are there. The pacing in the pilot is a mess as it tries to create its world but since that is largely scaffolded here, there should be more time to flesh out the story in the next couple of episodes. The characters are already interesting and there's a significant cliffhanger to grab people's attention. Episodes 2 and 3 should tell if this will be another example of a show rising above its pilot or if it is best to be consigned to the fan fic it came from.
Ranking - 3 (cautiously)
Audience - those who wish Harry Potter was more R than PG-13
Best Reason to Watch - it sets up its world well and is significantly creepier than other fantasy shows
Best Scene - the end
Biggest Hmm - I think I read this story. I think it was called the Chronicles of Narnia. No, Harry Potter. No, every Harry Potter knockoff that came afterwards.
Biggest Jump - when they find the dead guy
Biggest Creeper - Pete
Biggest Wiggins - the creepy smiley face on the mirror
Least Necessary - close up of some woman dancing whose shorts are way, way too short / same goes for magic flying sex
Most Impressive Interview - Quentin makes one heck of a magic trick
The "Go with Your Gut" Award - avoiding a séance makes a whole lot of sense to me
The "Welcome Back" Award - Sera Gamble, who was also executive producer and writer on Supernatural / Rick Worthy, who played Alpha Vamp on Supernatural
Best Quotes -
1. Quentin: "I don't want to get kicked out and I really don't want to be the guy who dies in the first 10 minutes of the movie because he's like 'You know what? Let's take out the Ouija board. What could possibly go wrong?' "
2. Quentin: "Am I hallucinating?" Eliot: "If you were, how would asking me help?"
3. Dean: "This school exists for a single and timeless purpose - to reveal your innate abilities and hone them to the highest degree. Now what you do with that is entirely up to you. If you want to take over the world…we don't teach that…but give it a go."
4. Margo: "It's good to be aware the world is inherently unfair. Act accordingly."
5. Quentin: "The alumni guy…he works for you." Dean: "Mmm hmm." Quentin: "Was he murdered?" Dean: "He snuck a box of Oreos." Quentin: "Magicians can't eat Oreos?" Dean: "Diabetics can't eat Oreos."
The Shannara Chronicles is visually stunning. The sets, scenery, and costumes are rich in design and breathtaking to behold. As such, it already stands out among typical MTV fare. They obviously have quite the budget to work with and it shows. Basically it is a hero quest tale of an unlikely trio: Wil is learning magic and is the protector of the group, Amberle is an elfin princess and leader of the quest, and Eretria is a human thief who must betray the group in order to earn her freedom from her ruthless father. These first two episodes are largely set up of the world and as such, the pacing gets stuck in the middle. However it picks up towards the end with a good cliffhanger to boot. You don't need to have read the books to enjoy the show and there is a lot of potential here. If you like fantasy stories, I highly suggest you check this one out.
Best Reason to Watch - the world building is stunning and rich
Best Action - Allanon vs. Dagda Mor
Best Save - Eretria saves Wil from a troll
MVP / Best Behind the Scenes Work - the cinematography which is stunning
Best Entrance - Allanon
Best Cliffhanger - the harpy
Best Twist - it takes place after the apocalypse of man / both Allanon and the Dagda Mor (the Warlock King) are druids
Best Genre Trope - magic always comes at a price so it can't be used wily nily
Best Reveal - Allanon tells Wil that his father was a hero
Best Plan - the shapeshifter pretends to be Amberle to get Lorin to tell her where the other Chosen are so she can slaughter them
Best Fountain of Youth - Allanon's 300 year nap
Best Negotiator - Eretria, who bargains Wil for her freedom from the Rovers
Best Visual (besides the landscapes and architecture? - Dagda Mor breaking Allanon's sword
Worst Job Perk - every time Amberle touches the Ellcrys, she gets visions of death and demons
Worst Parent Ever - Cephelo, Eretria's adopted father, who threatens to sell her off
Worst Break Up - Amberle gets a vision of herself killing Lorin so she breaks up with him, draws his sword, and knocks him out with it before running away
Biggest Hmmm - If all evil needs to do is take out the Ellcrys, then why didn't the shapeshifter at least try to cut it, burn it, or at least take off some of the leaves? It's magic is failing so it seems like a full frontal assault on it might do the trick.
Biggest Idiot / Most in Need of Growing Up - Wil
Biggest Surprise - I'm not sure I have ever seen a show on MTV with breast and butt nudity and it has more gore than most too. MTV is definitely reaching for a broader audience with this show.
Biggest Fake Out - the opening
Biggest Twist - the family dog is possessed
Biggest Eye Roll - Amberle's aunt and Allanon have a romantic past
Most Interesting Premise - the remnants of our world being used in this future world
Least Likely Protector - Wil can't even protect himself so I'd say Amberle and Eretria better take on that role themselves before the whole mission fails
Least Faith and Possible Biggest Foe - Arion isn't buying this magic stuff and could turn the people against King Eventine
Least Surprising - Eretria drugs Wil to rob him
Least Traditional - the Elvin race does not believe in magic
Strangest Tradition - How does running blindfold in the woods make you a good botanist or caretaker?
Smartest Cookies - both Amberle and Eretria know the other is lying
The "Welcome Back" Award - John Rhys-Davies, my beloved Arturo on Sliders but best known for Lord of the Rings and Indiana Jones / Manu Bennett from Spartacus and Arrow / James Remar from State of Affairs and Dexter
Best Quotes -
1. Wil: "Why don't you just call it a book of magic? Is it a Druid requirement that everything has to sound so mysterious?"
2. Wil: "So I'm supposed to use elf stones I don't have to protect a princess who doesn't want to be found from a demon hoard bent on laying waste to the world and even if I succeed, which is entirely doubtful, my life could still be doomed because magic will have fried my brain. I liked it better when we didn't talk."
3. Arion: "Do you have any respect for Elvin traditions?" Ander: "Only the ones with parties."
4. Wil: "I think it's better if the druid explains everything." Amberle: "You’re here with a druid? I thought they were all dead." Wil: "This one just took a very long nap."
5. Wil: "Oh, I'm an idiot." Allanon: "You'll get no argument from me."
6. Wil: "Aren't you curious about ancient humans? How they were able to build these incredible things?" Eretria: "Look. They're dead; we're not. End of story."
7. Eventine: "After the War of the Races, I believed that magic had disappeared along with you and the Warlock Lord." Arion: "Well then tell that to your people when their fairy tales are ripping out their hearts."
8. Wil: "My ancient Druid's a little rusty. Maybe you could fill me in."
Volker started out as a crazy but interesting villain. By these episodes, he's just ridiculous. No one would ever follow someone that insane. He's way, way too over the top and as such has sucked out a lot of enjoyment in these episodes. However, everything else rocked. From John deciding to give it all up to Millar sacrificing himself to his arch enemy in order to save everyone, the plot moved quickly with lots of action. The snark came out in spades as well. I really, really like Olga and was pleasantly surprised to learn that Pamela was not part of the Evil League of Evil. I really thought that she would be part of a big twist but instead she was rescued in due time, bringing about Old Case for the ride. So glad he was part of this, especially when he was bantering with Millar. That was a high point of the episode along with the action. In the end, I am very glad that I got to watch Agent X and I'm sorry it is not getting a season 2. It had great structure and a swift moving plot that kept my attention while introducing characters I was interested in learning more about. It's also the second best action show on TV right now, after Into the Badlands, which hopefully will get a second season.
Grade: B / B- (both significantly lower for the annoyance that was Volker)
Best Reason to Watch - Natalie
Best Scene - Natalie vs. Millar
Best Action - battle royale at the theatre
Best Banter - Millar and Old Case
Best History Lesson - Natalie about Roosevelt
Best Awww Moment - John and Natalie make sure each other are okay
Best Action Moment - John knocks a guy out through the bookcase
Best Use of Home Alone - John coats the stairs with olive oil to make all the bad guys fall down
Biggest Face Palm - Exactly how many times can one president be almost assassinated?
Biggest Product Placement - Microsoft One Note
Biggest Filler - all the flashbacks
Biggest Sacrifice - Millar
Biggest Say What? - How long has passed since the last episode? The president is now back in office after being poisoned.
Biggest Laugh - Volker's plan backfires when only one gun works
Weirdest Fashion Choice - Pamela's dress when it hits the light looks muddy
Most Crazy - President who wants to create his own army of Agent X's / Volker in all things
Least Surprising - Volker kidnaps Pamela
The "No Damsel in Distress Here" Award - Natalie continues to prove that she can take care of herself and I really like that
The "Oh No You Didn't" Award - Natalie calls John "kid"
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Olga, Dante's thugs, every villain in this show that isn't dead
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - Helen Slater, the original Supergirl herself
Best Quotes -
1. Olga: "You and Volker used to be partners? I'd laugh if it wasn't so tragic in a very Russian kind of way."
2. Zoya: "You almost didn't make it." Guy: "He doesn't look so tough." John: "I make up for it in sarcasm."
3. John: "Did you miss me, Malcolm?" Millar: "Like a migraine once it's gone."
4. John: "Right now your life isn't worth sh**, Ray." Volker: "You know John, I think you're seriously becoming co-dependent on me." John: "That's funny, Ray. You're the only one who can turn a death threat into a compliment."
5. Old Case: "I'm assuming we're gonna shoot everybody today except Pamela Richardson." Millar: "And me." Old Case: "And you." Millar: "And maybe you."
6. Old Case: "So what are you packing nowadays? A lap top?" Millar: "No, it's a Sig Sauer 229, 40-caliber. It's 12 in the mag, one up the pipe." Old Case: "Well that's 13. That's bad luck." Millar: "Yeah for somebody. What do you got?" Old Case: "Old Reliable - Colt 1911." Millar: "Which is terrific if you're Sergeant York. That thing only chambers 7 rounds." Old Case: "Well you know what they say? If you're doing your job right, you only need one, buddy."
7. Millar: "Out of curiosity, how long were you planning on torturing me before you kill me?"
I don't even have the words. That has to be one of the suckiest endings for a show I have ever seen, whether it is coming back or not. The "good guys" just make a bargain with the devil and head off to Jacksonville? What the heck? Ugh!
Best Reason to Watch - you've come this far
Best Scene - Kelly's excitement at burning down the cabin
Best Reaction - Ash to realizing that they have to go into the cellar
Biggest What the Heck - THAT'S how this ends? Are you kidding me?
Biggest Torture Porn - Heather's long death
Least Helpful - Heather, who only adds to the volume
Most Likely to Tell You Like It Is - Kelly, thankfully
Most Gross - barfing up demon worms
Most Persistent - Kelly, who will burn the whole place down to get to her friends
The "Please Stop Talking" Award - if Ash would just stop hero monologuing, he'd have the demons all killed by now
The "Nope, Just No" Award - I refuse to watch bugs crawling over people
The "Taking It to a Whole New Level" Award - creepy kid demons
Best Music - Back in Black by AC/Dc
Best Quotes -
1. Ash: "Okay that lady has my book and she has my Pablo. I've got to save him. I'm not losing anybody else I care about." Kelly: "That includes me, right?" Ash: "Of course." Heather: "And…and me." Ash: "Uh, yeah sure, just…you know, stay close to her."
2. Ash: "Look, she's just gonna Godfather all the demons together. Make the world a better place." Kelly: "That logic seems wrong."
3. Ruby: "You know that deep down we both want the same thing." Ash: "No, I'm pretty sure I don't want to destroy humanity."
4. Heather: "The Dark Ones? That's a rough nickname." Ash: "Yeah, well at least they're honest."
5. Ruby: "Just take the deal. It's what you've always wanted." Ash: "No, it's not just about my life anymore. I want their lives back too. They're coming with me."
Jane Kaczmarek is the big draw in this episode. I hope she is a recurring character because I think she could add a new dimension to an old show. Besides, it is a relief to finally see someone allowing Leonard to be central. I'm with both of them about his mother and if this gives Leonard a chance for some character growth, I am all for it. Stuart moving out was surprisingly touching too, until he turned creeper. I like the whole feel of a kid moving out vibe they had going even if I can do without hearing about their sex lives in any room. Plot C with Sheldon and Raj was the most forgettable though. It wasn't bad but just there.
Best Reason to Watch - Leonard, who finally gets some sympathy
Best Scene - Howard and Bernadette find Stuart's stuffed animal
Best Addition - Gallo, who I hope will be back as a recurring character. I think a lot of these guys could use therapy.
Biggest Nostalgia - Howard and Bernadette miss Stuart
Biggest Side Effect - not sure I could push a drug with homicidal rage as a side effect
Biggest Creeper - Stuart standing over a sleeping Bernadette and Howard
Most in Need of Meeting Cassandra from The Librarians - Sheldon has the same way of seeing, hearing, and smelling patterns that Cassandra has
The "My Eyes, Oh My Eyes" Award - Please give me warning when Howard is going to pose in his underwear. That's a look away moment.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Jane Kaczmarek from Malcolm in the Middle and Playing House
Best Quotes -
1. Leonard: "Dr. Gallo made me realize that I'm a worthwhile person and that my feelings matter." Raj: "I learned that for free from a cat poster but good for you."
2. Penny: "I mean have you ever had sex with a stuffed Wookie watching you?" Gallo: "I went to college in the 70's. It was a hairy time. I'm gonna say yes."
3. Leonard: "I'm not gonna make a fake appointment with a psychiatrist. What would I say is wrong with me?" Raj: "Low self-esteem." Howard: "Social anxiety." Sheldon: "Sexual insecurity." Leonard: "None of that is true." Penny: "Denial. See sweetie, the list goes on and on."
4. Amy: "I wish you were here." Sheldon: "At a neurobiology conference? What a mean thing to say."
5. Sheldon: "I suppose it could end up on a collision course with earth and destroy life as we know it." Raj: "You dream different than me."
About halfway through this episode I was afraid that it was going to end in a much too depressing place. Now I fear that things are going too well for Reddington's merry band. No way they stay on top throughout these two episodes. Structurally, this is a better plan because like Neal Caffrey and Michael Westen always say - it's after the success that you have to be most wary. Now I'm on edge about what exactly is going to go wrong. You can't take down the season's Big Bad in the 9th episode, can you? Surely not. Either way, next week's episode is must see TV for me. One of the things that I liked best in this episode was Ressler. Personally I think the guy gets an unfair shake and I admire his morals. I like even better that it was Tom who convinced him to stick to them. It was a great scene, one made better by all the small changes in Tom. I also loved Aram's role although it was the polar opposite. It's nice to see someone who still goes with their gut and will give everything for his friends. Mostly though, this episode earns an A- because the whole road to taking down the cabal has been fascinating and I cannot wait to see where it ends.
Best Reason to Watch - everything is in place to take down the cabal, or at least the Director
Best Scene - Tom talks Ressler out of killing Solomon
Second Best Scene - Reddington thanks a nervous Aram for saving Liz
Best Entrance - Ressler
Best Save - Tommy Markin, the name by which Ressler knows Hitchin is part of the cabal
Best Timing - Panabaker, who takes Liz into custody right as the Director is walking her out the door
Best Plan - play dead
Worst Plan - let Venezuela bankrupt America
Biggest Oops - Ressler trusts the wrong woman
Most Diabolical - the Director sucks the air out of Keen's holding cell so Aram has to open the doors
Most Prepared for a Rainy Day - Reddington with storage units in every state
Most Needing to Die - Solomon, who slightly edges out the Director
The "Didn't See That Coming" Award - Aram pulls a gun on the Director
The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - The best of the best in the cabal could not figure out Navabi as the password? How did they survive this long?
Best Music - Gamble Everything for Love by Ben Lee
Best Quotes -
1. Ressler: "You're under arrest for the attempted murder of a federal agent, the attempted murder of a material witness in a federal investigation, treason, espionage, conspiracy to commit…you know what? Why don't I get you a penal code? It might be easier to figure out what you haven't done."
2. Navabi: "I'm willing to take responsibility for my actions." Red: "Watch out. That's the kind of spirit that could save America."
3. Tom: "Your dad, you want to know if he died for nothing. Whether he did or didn't depends on whether you pull that trigger."
4. Ressler: "Since when did you grow a conscience?" Tom: "I don't know. Since I've been hanging out with you. I'm not happy about it either."
5. Panabaker: "I have never seen two people so disappointed that the country isn't under attack."
Galavant was one of my favorite new shows last year and I was elated when against all reason it got renewed. The first episode calls back to the slightly inane but fun of the first season. I could have done without all the gay bar references. We got it the first time. Still the songs were fun and snarky. Nothing like a show that can make fun of itself. The lyrics of It's a New Season had me rolling, even after the 10th time hearing them. It's definitely making my iTunes list. The second episode, in contrast, was a complete downer. I didn't laugh hardly at all and the World's Best Kiss song is one of the drippiest, boring songs the show has done to date. It's worst than the Xanax one and Jacka** in a Can from last year. Even worse, it turned the Isabella and Galavant relationship into a melodrama instead of something fun. King Richard is enough moping for one episode. On the plus side though, Madalena and Gareth trying to figure out the furnishings brought a typical Galavant sparkle to the episode and I wish there had been more of them.
Grade: B / C-
Best Reason to Watch - the humor like always
Best Scene - the opening song
Best Aww Moment - Galavant says he has faith in Richard
Best Meta - the premiere title
Best Move - Richard knocks Galavant out to get him to listen
Best Reaction - Chef, who is highly irritated with Isabella for not giving him the amulet before she fell asleep
Best Song - It's a New Season / Let's Agree to Disagree
Best Reference - the Brady Bunch / Excalibur
Worst Bath - Sid gets tossed in the moat
Worst Misunderstanding - Galavant and Isabella's phone call
Worst Taste - Gareth and his dogs jousting painting
Most Strange - crystal ball is as glitchy as Skype
Most Talented - Galavant, who has some mad bartending skills
Biggest Spoiler - Sid
Biggest Baby - King Richard
Biggest Face Palm - Richard gets the ship scuttled
The "Say What?" Award - How exactly does a castle disappear?
The "Something's Never Change" Award - spas still get you with cancellation fees
The "Welcome Back???" Award (character) - Jean Hamm
The "Welcome Back" Award - Kylie Minogue from Young & Hungry and every pop hit list a few decades past
Best Quotes -
1. Pirate Ship: "You'll know hell's freezing if we get decent ratings."
2. Peasants: "So in the weeks to come ignore the pageants that they'll hold." Gareth: "Skip the football matches…" Jester: "And the Globes made out of gold." Pirates: "Screw all those apprentices…" Peasants: "And every bachelorette." All: "We're getting to the miracle that no one thought we'd get."
3. Magdalena: "That's irreplaceable. I killed the family of weavers who made it."
4. Pirates: "It's a new season so hold on to your sword." Castle: "A new season, which you'll probably record."
5. Pirate King: "Don't know if you noticed but 4 pirates walked the plank last week. Middle of the ocean, just walked right off." Richard: "So what are you saying?" Pirate King: "What I'm saying is. We're gonna have to kill you if you sing the freaking song." Galavant: "What?" Pirate King: "It didn't win an Emmy. Now it's time to move along."
6. Guard: "Hear ye, hear ye. Presenting the queen and the guy that with the queen when she killed the other guy who was trying to be the king." Gareth: "Maybe later we can discuss my title."
7. Pirate King: "With new guests who'll cost the network a fortune."
8. Sid: "Aww Gareth, are you asking me to teach you to read?" Gareth: "No! Reading's for morons who can't understand pictures."
To be honest, this review is almost entirely about the Murray and Beverly subplot. Barry and Adam creating a rap band to Erica's irritation was there. It wasn't bad. It wasn't good. I really have no strong feelings one way or another about it. But Beverly and Murray, now that I want to see more of. I didn't realize how much I missed stories that revolve around them as a couple until this episode aired. I like how they are two very different people and yet it is those differences that make them so good together. I will never get enough of hearing them explain how much they mean to each other and giving credit where credit is due. Plus both Jeff Garlin and Wendy McLendon-Covey are awesome comedic actors and watching them play off each other is always fun.
Best Reason to Watch - Beverly and Murray
Best Scene - Murray tells Beverly that she's important to him
Best Reaction - Murray and Beverly to tasting New Coke
Best Played - Beverly overhears Barry saying their band is ill and he uses it as an excuse to skip school
Best Montage - Beverly and Murray putting the lazy Susan together to the Beastie Boys
Best Reference - New Coke and Bob Villa
Worst Reference - Beastie Boys
Worst Position to be In - Bill is stuck between a stubborn Beverly and a stubborn Murray
Most Surprising - Erica suddenly is shy about her songs but she was going to be in a band with Laney last season
Least Surprising - Beverly manipulates Murray into getting a new kitchen and Murray makes the kitchen exactly how it was before Beverly ruined it
Strangest Hoarding - Classic Coke
Weirdest Scene - Murray in a turtleneck on the floor ready for a picnic
The "I'm with You" Award - Murray, I'm no fan of jeans either. Sweats/pajamas or work clothes for me.
Best Quotes -
1. Murray: "You've got to understand. Just because I don't like things to change doesn't mean you don't matter to me. I never thought I'd be happy but you built this life for us and I love it just the way it is."
2. Erica: "What's the holdup guys? The monster you've created is waiting to eat you alive."
3. Murray: "What the hell happened?" Beverly: "I wrecked the kitchen. Now I have no place to cook. We're gonna have to order Italian takeout like a bunch of hoboes." Pops: "That Bob Villa's a real piece of work. Building us up; making us think we can lay tile. We can't lay tile."
4. Murray: "That's it. I'm a floor person now."
5. Barry: "It's called hype." Erica: "No, it's called lying."
Each season of The Librarians seems to fly by faster than the next. This one was blink and you'd miss it quick. For all the issues I have with the overall pacing of the mytharc, the finale was good. The twist about Prospero caught me completely unaware and even the time travel elements did not bug me as much as they normally do. I do wish that the other librarians not named Flynn had more to do in this, that romance wasn't a focus at the end, and the fictionals storyline wasn't over so quickly, but standing on its own, this finale was complete, fun, and nary a cliffhanger in sight.
Best Reason to Watch - the happy ending
Best Awww Moment - Jenkins calls Eve his guardian
Best Reaction - Flynn to seeing Shakespeare
Best Twist - Prospero is just Shakespeare's id come to life so they have to exorcise him with Shakespeare's own words
Worst Acting - even Shakespeare and company realizes Flynn is a terrible actor, always overacting
Biggest Ewww - eating rat
Biggest Hmm - If there is no electricity, how are the lights and appliances in the library working?
Biggest Filler - Flynn doing Shakespeare, which was not in the least funny and killed way too much time
Smartest Character - Moriarty, who figures out that this is not Prospero's story
The "Welcome Back" Award - Excalibur in one of the most inventive resurrections yet
The "I'm with You" Award - I'm with Baird. Time travel sucks as a plot device.
Best Quotes -
1. Cassandra: "It's Schrödinger's cat." Flynn: "No, he's upstairs in the theoretical animals wing." Cassandra: "He's alive?"
2. Baird: "Was the world originally ruled by talking dinosaurs, Flynn?"
3. Ezekiel: "The internet is gone. Welcome to 1995." Flynn: "Ooh I hope not. I made some very poor bicycle pant choices back in '95." Baird: "There are no good bicycle pant choices."
4. Flynn: "Don't worry. Nobody understands time travel."
5. Ezekiel: "Finally, permission to steal anything we want." Jake: "This is what you got from that speech?" Ezekiel: "Subtext, mate."
While I wasn't a fan of the midseason finale, I did really enjoy this episode. One of the biggest questions of this series is what Morra's intentions are for Brian and his overall plan for the world. It's hard to tell if Morra is essentially a good guy or a bad guy or something very murky in the middle. What exactly are his plans for NZT world domination (just guessing that power is the bottom line here)? Generally I like to get clear answers or at least be working towards answers to the big questions of any series (looking at you season 1 The Blacklist) but I actually think Limitless benefits from keeping Morra's agenda hidden here. To know to soon would either mean that the audience knows more than Brian, which really does not fit here, or it takes any tension out of Brian's struggle to make meaning out of his new abilities. In the end, the power play of putting Brian in the middle without help from anyone at the FBI made for a riveting hour of TV, especially since the audience is not clear whether he made the right choice or not. Of course he wasn't going to kill her but did he get in closer to the devil by pretending that he did?
Best Reason to Watch - Harris is now suspicious of Morra
Best Scene - Piper shows up at Brian's parents' house
Best Comic Relief - Ike, even in hallucination form
Best Offer - Brian gives the old mobster a tape of his wife singing to get him to talk
Worst Plan - Morra tells Brian to embrace the no conscious side of himself
Least Surprising - Brian did NOT kill Piper
Most Laissez Faire - Naz
Most Brilliant - Forget those NZT people. Harris is putting two and two together without it and coming up with all the answers.
Biggest Say What? - Piper tells Brian's parents that she's his new girlfriend
The "More the Merrier???" Award - Exactly how many faux people are going to advise Brian this time?
The "Welcome Back" Award - Georgina Haig from Fringe
Best Quotes -
1. Boyle: "How did we even function before you came along?"
2. Sands: "We supplied her with NZT until she went a bit mad, declared war on Mr. Morra and anyone associated with him. She's been a total pain to be honest."
3. Piper: "You don't get it yet. If someone doesn't stop Morra, no one's gonna be able to just live their life. The whole world's gonna be very different, Brian. You can't play both sides forever."
4. Boyle: "You know that 'I barely listen to anything you say' recap thing you do? It's rude."
5. Brian: "The people I love aren't gone yet. They're here. If I leave, I might as well kill myself."
In many ways this should have been a winner of an episode for me, especially since I have been waiting for more insight into Happy's character. Now the Happy stuff was great but otherwise the entire episode felt flat to me. I always hate Ralph as savior plot twists. I barely tolerate the character as it is and I'm not fond of the acting, although I am sure playing an emotionally stunted elementary student would be difficult for anyone. I also am over Happy and Toby. I was surprisingly all for it in season 1 but they have squandered my goodwill and now I'm just meh about it. Scorpion doesn't do more than 1 episode romance very well at all. Despite these personal dislikes, the story lacked oomph. I didn't for one minute believe that Happy or Toby were going to die and unlike other episodes where it didn't matter, the pacing made the whole plot feel like an eternity. One that was utterly predictable on top of it. This was the very first time I was bored in Scorpion. Let' not make this a pattern.
Best Reason to Watch - focus on Happy
Best Scene - Happy's dad shows her a video of her mother when she was pregnant with her
Best Negotiator - Cooper
Worst Shot - Toby when throwing ALL the bagels
Worst Trend - smashing words together (even though I'm guilty of it too)
Least Surprising - the storm got worse right when they needed it NOT to
Most Heartbreaking - the soldier's message home
Most Fun - rooftop snowball fight
Most Contrived - Toby and Happy need to conserve body heat together
Biggest Hmm - Why do they keep separating Sylvester from the main group this season? Why is Happy constantly in life-threatening danger?
Biggest Eye Roll - Ralph saves the soldiers. This trope is so old.
The "Never Thought I'd See the Day" Award - Happy shocks Toby so much he's quiet
The "Oh Please Don't" Award - Walter and social media is a bad combination in so many ways
Best Quotes -
1. Toby: "Do you guys even read the Constitution anymore?"
2. Paige: "A break from caffeine might help with the blood pressure." Cabe: "So would a break from this place."
3. Toby: "I know I've called you cold and unfeeling but this is ridiculous."
4. Toby: "I'm not worried about the storm picking up. I'm worried about this hut picking up."
5. Cabe: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Sylvester: "I am a hypochondriac. I have been taking my own blood pressure since I was 9."
The first and foremost thing that I needed this episode to do was give me hope that the pack would get back together and be stronger for it. In this, the 5B premiere exceeded all my expectations. First, there was an abundant amount of Scott and Stiles working together time. I don't think they've had so much screen time together since the premiere of 5A. It made my heart happy to see them playing detective together, each using their skills to help find answers. Bonus points to Scott for not allowing Stiles to ditch him but emphasizing that they need each other to survive Beacon Hills. I loved seeing this good leader side of Scott, one determined to get his pack back together no matter what. While the rest of the episode was somewhat hit (Sheriff lives!) and miss (everything Liam and Mason), I got what I needed as a fan from this premiere and it has left me eager for more.
Best Reason to Watch - less filler, more story, more questions
Best Scene - Scott won't let Stiles leave without him
Best Awww Moment - Sheriff wakes up and tells Stiles that he's still there
Best Entrance - Argent
MVP - brain injuries because I swear our heroes lose consciousness more times in this episode than in all of seasons 4 and 5A combined
Best Catch - Scott figures out that Theo didn't attack Sheriff, but another chimera did
Best Star Wars - Valack Jedi mind warps ScienceMom into signing over Lydia into his care
Best Flashback - Stiles and Sheriff at the funeral of his mother
Best Reaction - Mason to Liam ripping the page out of the book
Best Return - Hot Doc
Worst Doctor - Valack, who drills into Lydia's skull
Worst Parenting - Lydia's mom has the excuse of being freaked out. What's Hot Doc's excuse? If your kid comes up to you asking about if their friend's body has shown up, you need to start asking questions. Lots of questions. Specifically, why exactly do you think she's dead?
Biggest Blech - Parrish is still having sex dreams about Lydia and almost causes a car crash because of it
Biggest Say What? - Theo let his sister die so that he could take her heart and become a chimera? That's just cold, man. (sorry, bad pun)
Biggest Ho Hum - Liam realizes Hayden is alive. Whatever. We didn't even have time to miss her.
Biggest Question - Who's the last chimera?
Biggest Eye Roll - Stiles and Lydia search everywhere for the nematon but who finds it on his first try? Why, it's Super Special Snowflake Liam Dunbar of course.
Biggest Hmmm - If you figured out how to live forever, why would your #1 ambition be to create the perfect killer? The steampunk scientists need to rethink their life goals.
Biggest Understatement - Mason tells Liam that this hasn't been his finest moment
Least Welcome Return - Creeper Orderly / steampunk scientists
Least Effective Bragging -We all now know what Parrish is, Theo. Sit down.
Most Surprising - Valack is pretending to be the Eichen House Director so he can take Lydia
Most Wonky Werewolf Powers - Scott, who doesn't seem to be healing and even faints
Most Shoddy Hospital Work - Did no one do a cursory check of Lydia to see if anything else is wrong? No wonder this hospital has such a terrible mortality record. It's not just the supernatural wreaking havoc but the fact that Mama McCall may be the only competent person on staff.
Smartest Cookie - tie - Hayden's sister finally realizes that she needs to leave Beacon Hills / Hot Doc realizes that Mama McCall knows more than everyone else
The Am I Missing Something?" Award, part 1 - Did they ever clarify why jaguars and berserkers are drawn together…or how Kate could control the berserkers…or what the point of bringing Kate back was?
The "Am I Missing Something?" Award, part 2 - Since when does Scott's pack have a symbol?
The "Oh Baby" Award - Stiles' tears hurt my heart so watching him cry alone in the waiting room while waiting to see if his dad is going to make it is painful
The "If At First You Don't Succeed" Award - Why do they keep trying to shoot or claw the steampunk scientists? At this point, I'm thinking some kind of electromagnetic weapon instead.
The "Not Them Again" Award - steampunk scientists really need to go
The "Out of the Frying Pan" Award - First, Valack takes Lydia. Now Theo is coming after her. Neither is a good alternative. Now would be a great time for her to save herself.
Best Quotes -
1. Scott: "You can't do this alone, okay? You need me. You need all of us. I can get more help. I can text Liam." Stiles: "Liam just tried to kill you." Scott: "Okay, then at least let me help." Stiles: "You believed him." Scott: "You trusted him too. Theo got to all of us." Stiles: "You know you don't even know the real story." Scott: "I don't need to. All that matters right now is your dad. Come on, Stiles. We survived an alpha pact, a dark druid, professional assassins. We can survive dread doctors and chimeras too." Stiles: "We're not looking for a missing chimera. We're looking for a missing teenager."
2. Sheriff: "Hey, you've still got me." / Sheriff: "It's okay, Stiles. You've still got me."
3. Mason: "I need to learn to shut up."
4. Parrish: "We need to find this kid." Mama McCall: "Isn't that a little dangerous, especially since he almost killed my kid?"
5. Chimera #???: "She doesn't look good." Screamer: "She's got a hole in her head. It's not a good look for anyone."
Catch-Up and Other Shows
~I didn't have as much time to watch TV as I expected over the break but I did take the time to rewatch Galavant before the season 2 premiere. It was just as funny the second time around, if not a bit funnier due to it beating the cancellation bear. If you have the time, I highly recommend checking it out. You'll laugh your way through. Or just check out the lyrics to the songs.
Best Song - theme, She'll Be Mine , Hero's Journey, Maybe You're Not the Worst Thing Ever, Togetherness, The Monks, Love is Strange, Goodnight My Friend
Best Episodes - pilot, 1.05
Best Moment - Gareth makes Galavant promise to look after King Richard
Best Reaction - Madalena when Galavant starts to sing his love to her
Best Guest - Weird Al / Anthony Head
Best Previouslies - 1.03
Best Move - Madalena kills Richard's brother
Best Continuing joke - "So like 9:00 o'clock."
Best Reference - Kiss The Girl from The Little Mermaid
Best Bromance - King Richard and Gareth
Most Disgusting Yet Peppy - If I Could Share My Life with You
Biggest Laugh - the ending song makes fun of their own Nielsen ratings
Biggest Awww Moment - Gareth hugs an upset King Richard / Galavant tells Sid to just be himself to his parents
Biggest Face Palm - the dungeon doors are not locked
Best Quotes (that are not in songs or else this whole thing would be song lyrics) -
1. Isabella: "Well how's that for timing. Our stars are finally aligning on the same day I'm gonna die." Galavant: "No, no you're not gonna die today. And you're not gonna today. And you're not gonna die today. You might already be dead."
2. Galavant: "Alright princess, you ready to get your kingdom back?" Isabella: "I've been thinking. I can get another kingdom. It's a buyers' market right now."
3. Jester: "Oh please just stop the torture and kill me already." Gareth: "I haven't started yet." Jester: "Wha…he's not part of it?"
4. Madalena: "You two aren't cousins or anything, are you? Oh who cares? You guys couldn't get any weirder looking."
5. Isabella: "I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you but…" Galavant: "But what? You didn't have time in all the hundreds of miles we traveled, all the meals we shared." Sid: "In retrospect the trip through the Forest of Honesty would have seemed like an appropriate time." Isabella: "But my family?" Galavant: "Well perhaps if you told me, we could have made a plan." Isabella: "And you would have helped me, even if you had nothing to gain from it." Galavant: "I guess we'll never find out."
~It's a bit treacle-y even for the season and Gabi's high-pitched enthusiasm went right through my skull. I do like how everyone is there for each other though.
Best Reason to Watch - the group is really a family
Best Scene - Josh and Gabi confront JoJo at the homeless shelter
Best Speech - Yolanda says they are all family
Best Awww Scene - Josh faked his injury so Elliot wouldn't be alone on Christmas
Best Internal Monologue - Yolanda
Worst Definition of a Miracle - Sofia, who basically keeps taking advantage of the store clerk
Worst Plan - watching Titanic when depressed
Worst Moral - you can rip people off as long as it's for charity
Least Surprising - JoJo is not well off
Most Embarrassing - Josh's skiing suit
Most Overplayed: Gabi's shock that JoJo is back
Most Generous Return Policy - whatever store they are at, they will take anything back
The "Welcome Back" Award - Jackee Harry from 227 and Sister Sister
Best Quotes -
1. Gabi (about the purse Sofia wants): "Well I can give you 919 reasons why it's just not that into you."
2. Yolanda: "Oh please girl, that story's as bad as your weave." JoJo: "Of course I've got a bad weave. I'm homeless. What's your excuse?"
3. Gabi: "Uh, quick question. Priests can't make out with people, can they?" Josh: "What have you done?"
4. Josh: "You want to talk about it?" Elliot: "What's the point? Alan's already on the cruise. I'd rather talk about why you look like Gumby."
5. Sofia: "Hi. I need to return this but I don't have a receipt." Matilda: "Well I need a family but I made a whole lot of poor life choices."