Welcome to Last Week in TV, where I share my thoughts on the TV I watched and hand out episode awards. Here's hoping you will share your thoughts too. I also hope your TV week was more satisfying than mine was. I don't know if I was just grumpy but many shows let me down going into the midseason hiatus. This twists were less twisty, the characters that died or left were the ones I most wanted to stay, and storylines I didn't care about became the focus. Thank goodness there were some bright spots too and thank goodness for hiatus. I need a break for some of my "favorite" shows for a while so I can appreciate them more when they return. Plus I am excited about my current hiatus to-watch list. Next week I start marathoning shows I've missed so if you have episodes you'd like to nominate, this is a great time to do so. Just fill out the short form below. Next week's nominated episode will be from Revenge. Until then, may your remaining shows be stunning, your hiatus filled with glorious rewatches, and your countdown to the holidays less stressful. Happy TV viewing and don't forget to comment below. How were your shows this week?
I first watched You're the Worst when the pilot aired. Normally I give a new show 3 episodes to show me what it's got, but this was way too raunchy for me. It felt like an R-rated comedy where all the good lines were in the trailer so I dropped it quickly. Sadly, while I do see growth in some of the characters, there's still no character that appeals to me. I find them all juvenile and repulsive. I do like how Jimmy and Gretchen are now capable of talking to each other outside of sex and moving in together is a huge step that should lead to much character growth. There's hope for them yet. Not so much for Lindsay, who is the single biggest reason to fast forward in the episode. I did appreciate her singing but mostly I just wanted her to fall in a ditch in a drunken stupor and not wake up until the next episode. Edgar remains my favorite character mostly because he was a great friend to Jimmy in this one. He's odd but lovable. I also felt for Lindsay's husband and wish him the best of luck in extracting himself from this show. Overall, this is really not for me. I won't see R-rated comedies so I don't feel the need to watch them in 22 minutes chunks every week. I'm in the minority though because You're the Worst was renewed for season 2 so it is obviously doing something right for a lot of other viewers.
Ranking - 1
Audience - those who like raunchy comedies and their romance with a whole lot of bite
Best Reason to Watch - Gretchen and Jimmy have grown from the pilot
Best Scene / Biggest Awww - Jimmy tells Edgar that he needs him to move back in
Worst Party Ever - Becca's party turned into a who screwed whom soap opera, probably not what she was dreaming of
Best Character - Edgar
Biggest Mess - Let's face it. There are a lot of people to choose from in this show, but Lindsay needs "stay in an asylum" kind of help. I've never seen a more needy, attention-hungry, self-centered wench anywhere.
Biggest Huh? - Why do Gretchen and Jimmy just watch her couch burn instead of trying to put the fire out?
Least Surprising - the engagement ring wasn't for Gretchen
Best Result from a Tantrum - hey at least Lindsay's emoangsting got rid of the mounted singing bass
The "Oh What a Difference a Song Makes" Award - The only time I found Lindsay palatable was when she was singing karaoke. She should only sing.
The "Poor Baby" Award - Lindsay's husband
The "Say What?" Award - Did Becca actually use the word hashtag in her speech? We have gone too far in social media, and I'm addicted to Twitter
Best Quotes -
1. Lindsay: "Are we feminists? Is this feminism?" Gretchen: "We're just running away from stuff. I don’t think that's feminism. It's fear."
2. Gretchen: "Maybe we're like 2 pit bulls, you know. You put either with another dog and that dog's toast, but together they're couch buds. They nullify the threat so mutually assured destruction."
No lie, The Librarians was the new show I was most anticipating this year. It's not just because Warehouse 13 is no longer on the air. It's not because I am a librarian by nature or that I enjoyed the movies. Heck, it's not even because I love Christian Kane and wanted him back on my TV screen weekly. (Well, actually the last one may be a big part of it. I miss Leverage.) It's more that I've missed having a show that is purely fun. Much of the TV I watch these days gets dragged down by its own seriousness and need to make everything more grim. This one dares to laugh at itself because it knows the audience is laughing right along with it. Yes, the plots are absurd and most of it plays off as a movie that could have been mocked by MST3K. Yes, it has a small budget and sometimes it really looks like it. Still it is the most fun I have had in TV this month and I cannot wait to see what's in store this week.
Ranking - 5
Audience - anyone who likes campy fun and doesn't want to take a show too seriously
Best Reason to Watch - it's a whole lot of fun and different from most shows on TV right now
Best Scene - the opening scene actually did a great job of setting up the tone and the right mix of action and humor and camp
Best Action - ninja bar fight
Most Needed - a high suspension of belief because it gets awfully cheesy at times
Biggest Twist - Cassandra betrays them to the Serpent Brotherhood
Biggest Awww Moment - Jake talks Cassandra down
Saddest Moment - Excalibur dies
Most Old School - Jenkins brings out the clippings book
The "Welcome Back" Award - Jane Curtin, who I first loved on Kate & Allie and then 3rd Rock. Also Bob Newhart, most recently from Big Bang Theory, and John Larroquette from my family favorite, Night Court
Best Entrance - Flynn pops through a steam vent during a terrorist raid
Worst Time for Pausing - Flynn talks about the blue wire on the bomb, takes a huge pause, and then says not to touch it
Biggest Kudos - the music director who had some great pieces in the background
Most in Debt to Shopping - Cassandra, who owes her life to a new rug
The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - I'm expected to believe that no one else found King Arthur's crown when it was that easy. Surely someone thumped on the stones before.
Best Switch - today is NOT the day that they can read the clue, which is a refreshing change from all the other genre shows where the big event just happens to take place the very next night
Worst Thief - Sorry but after following Parker and Neal through their escapades, I know all good thieves have multiple escape strategies. You're going to have to do better than that, Ezekiel.
Best Reaction - Charlene when she's introducing Baird to Flynn / Jenkins to them invading his library again
Biggest MacGyver - Flynn makes a blowtorch out of lunchmeat
Best Speech - Jenkins to Baird about saving Flynn mentally / Baird pep talks Flynn into fighting
Most in Need of a Vacation - Flynn, who claims his best friend is a sword
Bets Quotes -
1. Flynn: "I apparently set off a trap, which I have about 3 minutes to disarm before the opal transforms every corpse in the 100-mile radius into flesh-eating zombies, which seems unnecessarily dramatic."
2. Flynn: "Nope. I'm the Librarian. Librarians win with knowledge. Librarians win with science. Librarians win with electromagnets."
3. Jake: "Who are these guys?" Baird: "Ninjas? Possibly." Jake: "In Oklahoma?" Baird: "That's what I said."
4. Ezekiel: "Wow, my lack of faith in humanity's restored."
5. Jake: "Is that a flying sword?" Flynn: "Excalibur." Ezekiel: "Of course it is."
6. Baird: "You must be feeling better. You're not making any sense."
Tonight's episode was a great example of the team working together, even with one member missing. I love how everyone rallied around avenging Sylvester, but especially because we got more background on Toby and his relationship. I like how Sylvester saved Toby from a bad situation early in their friendship and how Toby feels the need to repay the debt here. It is a sweet gesture that tempers some of Toby's more obnoxious tendencies. I also like the friction between Toby and Walter, even though I spent much of the episode wanting to Gibbs slap Walter. It was very well played though because you can see the internal struggle in Walter even as he tries to hide his concern. Walter is growing slowly more human to me and that cannot come soon enough. Unlike Sheldon Cooper, it isn't taking years to make progress. However Simone, who is equally irritating, need never come back. Her tunnel vision was more frustrating than Walter's if only because I don't care about her. I didn't need her sob story taking up precious caper time. Nor did I need the interminable relationship wrap-ups at the end. Just get the team to Sylvester and give me that family vibe. I don't care one iota about who is getting ready to shag whom.
Grade: B (because of the drawn out ending)
Best Reason to Watch - it's great to see how much Sylvester means to each member of the team
Best Awww Moment - Toby gives Sylvester the comic books he sold to pay Toby's rent / Paige calls Sylvester family and finds the whole team reading comics around a sleeping Sylvester
Biggest Hmmm - The bad guy is killed at the 31 minute mark, leaving over 10 minutes for the epilogue. That's ¼ of the whole show - way too long for any episode. It's plain ridiculous for one of the better action shows on TV.
The "Oh, Poor Baby" Award - Sylvester's hit by an IED and now scared to go back to work
Most in Need of a Humanity Check - Walter, who is driving everyone too hard, and Simone, who only sees her end goals. She really doesn't need to come back. I don't care about her sad sob story.
Worst Plan Ever - People are shooting at you so you willingly step out of the truck to shoot back. Why did this seems like a good plan? They already have more fire power than you're packing.
Best Returning Character - Megan
Best Math under Pressure - Happy, who calculates exactly when to sic the hose on the bad guys
Best Reaction - Walter to watching the bad guy fall to his death. He seemed more human in that moment than all episode, even though he was still highly emotional (for Walter) throughout
The "Don't Get on Her Bad Side" Award - Happy has all kind of tools that can make your life miserable
Best Face - Toby to Simone when he fakes being tortured
Best Reality Check - Paige, the whole way through
Best Advantage to Getting Punched - easy access to the guy's backpack to drop your cell phone and track him
Best Quotes -
1. Toby: "The man's name is Dirty John and he did time. What the hell are we playing 20 Questions for?"
2. Toby: "You think a sniper rifle's going to take me out? Once you think I'm gone, I come back." Happy: "Like herpes."
3. Sylvester: "What's in the box?" Toby: "Oh something I have owed you for 6 years. Super Fun Guy comics, first 50 issues, silver age classics." Sylvester: "Toby, that's your whole paycheck." Toby: "I know and it's making me sick. I'm going to go now 'cause I'm a doctor and I know you need your rest. Otherwise, I'd be staying here all night pal. The rest of you clowns, let this guy sleep."
4. Toby: "Is there a reason you had a fake blood pack and retractable knife just lying around?" Happy: "I had to teach an old boyfriend a lesson."
I've always said that the appeal of State of Affairs depends on its case of the week and this one did not deliver. The stakes never felt high, they didn't spend enough time humanizing the case, and quite frankly the ball got dropped in the middle of the episode and they never picked it back up. Add to it that right when Charlie needs to be the most professional, she's too busy trying to shag Nick. Argh! Their whole relationship is irksome and it makes Charlie look like a horny idiot. In other words, it made her look like the Charlie of the pilot, who I never connected with and generally despised. I still don't care enough about the serial elements of this show to weather them and a bad case of the week. Here's hoping next week's emergency is more compelling. Syd remains the number one reason to watch.
Best Reason to Watch - Syd and forward movement on what really happened with the president's son
Best Reason to Fast Forward - Nick's declaration of chemistry with Charlie and them hooking up
Most intense - Nick holds a gun to a former guard's head while his kid looks on
Best Twist - Jack is taken as a spy by the Panamanian government
Biggest Hmm - if I came down and saw a man with a gun on my dad, I'd scream or do something so I have no idea why this kids just stands there
Biggest Huh - Lucas is a recovering alcoholic? Did we know this before?
Best Advice - Nick tells Charlie to lock her doors when driving in DC after he hops into her car at a light
Most Mysterious - Syd's tech wizard woman
Most Well-Played - Nick knows that Syd has ties to the people who have the photos
Least Likely to be the Culprit - Dash because all clues lead to him
The "Welcome Back" Award - Melinda McGraw, formerly Scully's sister on The X-Files
1. Charlie: "Well maybe because there's no gun emoticon, we can just assume they're saying hi."
2. Charlie: "What, are you moonlighting as a leash now?"
3. Syd: "Hey watch your mouth, kid. I'd protect Charlie to my dying day, but I can't lay down cover for her here. Krieg's a phantom. Trying to pin him down's like trying to drive a nail through smoke. They can reach out and touch anyone at anytime. Your lead's a dead end."
Perhaps it is because I expected this episode to be Crowley centered that I was so disappointed when it was clearly Cas-centered. Or maybe it is the return of canon smashing. Either way an overabundance of angel issues with far too little Crowley is never going to be my preference. I don't care about Claire or Cas although I did warm slightly to her predicament. Also it seems hard to believe that Claire's mom just left, given what we knew of her. I'm surprised that they didn't say she was dead, given that's the preferred plan with mothers on this show. Needless to say, I will likely never watch this episode again.
Best Reason to Watch - Crowley and his back story with his mother
Best Scene - Dean kills them aaaaaalllllll
Biggest Huh? - I think Jeremy Carver is at it again. While I started off liking the back story on Dean's first time drunk, it quickly falls apart when Dean starts mouthing off to John. Since when? Everything we know about the character, especially given the information we get in the first two seasons, says that after Sam gets attacked by the shtriga Dean becomes a virtual yes man to John. This doesn't fit into the already established canon and as such distracts me from what should have been the highlight of the episode.
Worst Excuse for a Parent - It should definitely be Rowena, who abandons her 8 year old son to fend on his own, but it's not. Randy is a world class douche to top her but selling kids to the highest bidder goes so much beyond that.
Worst Nutritionalist - no Dean, ketchup is not a vegetable
The "I Don't Get It" Award - I will never understand the appeal of the Stooges, but I completely understand the appeal of the grilled cheese sandwich
Roughest Gig - being the King of Hell's right hand man seems to be a very short term career
Biggest Shock - Cas knows about music
Best Subtle Moment - the brothers enjoy the Stooges together but for one moment Sam looks at the mark of Cain on Dean's arm and is worried
Best Return - black t-shirt
Worst Return - Claire Novak
Best Quotes -
1. Dean: "Cas, I need you to promise me something." Cas: "Of course." Dean: "If I do go dark side, you gotta take me out." Cas: "What do you mean?" Dean: "Knife me, spike me, throw me into the freaking sun, whatever. And don't let Sam get in the way because he'll try. I can't go down that road again, man. I can't be that thing again."
2. Crowley: "She was a horrible mother. Did I tell you the time she almost traded me for 3 pigs? Three! I was an attractive child. I could juggle. I was worth 5 pigs at least."
3. Dean: "Cas, listen to me. Some stuff, you've just got to let go. Okay, the people you let down, the ones you can't save. You've got to forget about 'em for your own good." Cas: "Is that what you do?" Dean: "That's the opposite of what I do, but I'm not exactly a role model."
4. Crowley: "I didn't even have a father." Rowena: "Of course you had a father. You were just conceived during a winter solstice orgy and it's not like I was taking names."
Sometimes I think all the writers in LA need to get together and Gibbs-slap each other. What is the point of keeping around characters like Raina and Adalind when they kill or send off characters like Tripp, Trubel, and Mama Grimm? It's beyond frustrating and starting to become an actual deal breaker for me. I don't have that many socks to throw. Beyond that piece of terrible storytelling, we are at least done with the freaking obelisk and hopefully Skye's dad. Of course now we definitely have super special Skye to deal with and the "never getting off my freaking screen" Raina to boot. Argh again!!! The only real good point is that Mac isn’t dead and Fake May lived to fight another day. Oh and Whitehall supposedly is dead too. That's a very good thing. I'm tired of the stupid because they're crazy villains on this show. Let's get one that doesn't villain monologue every 10 seconds and has some motive beyond world domination and/or mad scientist tendencies.
Best Reason to Watch - at least the freaking obelisk storyline is over
Best Action - Coulson vs. Cal
Worst TV Move Since Grimm Shipped Off Trubel / The "Are You Freaking Kidding Me?" Award - Raina is still alive to annoy the heck out of me but Tripp is dead? I love Tripp. Argh! What's up with all these shows screwing over the good, interesting characters and leaving the ones I hate, not love to hate, to continue to suck up everything? TV writers suck out loud!
The "Say What?" Award - Shouldn't they be seeing pieces of the plane if they just bombed it? How stupid could they be?
Most Kick Butt - Skye shoots Ward and threatens to kill her dad
Best Reaction - May's eye roll/side eye to Hunter
Best Shot - Coulson kills Whitehall
Biggest Thanks - Skye's dad now has a name, Cal, so I can stop typing out Skye's dad every time
Best Speech - Coulson tells May she did the right thing
Most Skilled - May always in almost everything
Most Insane - Cal, who really can go anytime now and take Raina with him
Most Tense Reunion - Skye and Cal
Most Cocky - Whitehall, who really tests the limits of hatred tonight
Most in Need of Dying (Since Last Season) - Raina, who went beyond irksome half a season ago and just needs to permanently leave
Most Interesting Theory - the city attacking anyone it feels is a threat
Best Quotes -
1. Hunter: "Join SHIELD. Travel to exotic, distant lands. Meet exciting, unusual people and kill them."
2. Cal: "Thank you for meeting with me." Skye: "Thank you for…are you serious? I was kidnapped off a plane at gunpoint. That's all you have to say?"
3. Coulson: "Six members of our team are still alive because of what you did. That needs to count for something."
4. Coulson: "Two goals: Stop the drill and find Skye." Hunter: "Aren't you forgetting a third?" Coulson: "What's that?" Bobbi: "Don't die out there. We tend to remind each other not to die." Coulson: "I thought that was implicit."
5. Coulson: "You know what we could use?" May: "Another 50 men?" Coulson: "I was going to say a dozen, but I like your idea ever."
The stalker storyline appears to be over for now, so that's a relief. Forever is one of those shows like State of Affairs where I like the procedural elements more than the mytharc. In this case the episode was completely mytharc, given the season's Big Bad is framing Henry for murder. I figured out right away that the stalker was the psychiatrist, mostly because he messed up in the questions he asked and had info he had no business of knowing. As always, Henry and Abe made a good pair although Henry needs to start listening to Abe more often. I'm not sure I agree with telling Jo about Henry's immortality but everything else made sense, especially not going diving for a gun the day after getting arrested for skinny dipping.
Best Reason to Watch - stalker storyline is over
Least Shocking - The psychiatrist is the stalker. As soon as he knew that Abe was significantly older than Henry without Henry ever mentioning it, I knew it was him.
Most Fun - the precinct ragging Henry about his skinny dipping charge
Best Reference - The Highlander, although I much prefer the TV show
Biggest Hmm - How does the psychiatrist know Henry and Abe aren't the same age?
Most Incongruous - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas playing at the scene of the crime
Worst Plan - Henry decides to go diving for the killer's gun right after being picked up for skinny dipping
Best Plan - telling the police that Henry has a stalker
Biggest Oxymoron - righteous kill
Best Quotes -
1. Lucas: "A sword, gotcha. Okay I'll put an APB out for the Highlander." Henry: "Who?"
2. Reece: "And doctor please, invest in some pajamas."
3. Abe: "Are you crazy? You're being stalked by a psychopath who can't be killed."
Everyone is coming clean tonight. Joe tells Barry about Yellow Flash threatening Iris and then tells Eddie about metahumans. Caitlin tells Cisco that Ronnie is alive, while Barry tells Iris that he loves her. The show even told us that in some way I don't get, Wells is Yellow Flash. Seriously, that is weird that Wells was essentially beating up himself right? Right? I don't get metahumans. Overall this episode was high on exposition and low on action, a departure from the norm. Still I liked it more than I normally would because much of its exposition lie in family relationships. Henry telling Barry that none of this was his fault and to not let his mother's murderer take anything else from him was powerful and endearing. I really like Papa Allen. Yet Joe telling Barry that he changed his life for the better was even more touching. Even the flashbacks with his mom tugged at my heart. In the end though, my favorite relationship of the night was Caitlin and Cisco. For once Cisco wasn't just comic relief and he proved to be a good friend. I liked seeing that side of him, while it was good to see Caitlin a bit more vulnerable too. Perhaps it was the sentimentality of the episode, but even Wells' vow to get Ronnie back was moving…and hopefully sincere.
Best Reason to Watch - a lot of secrets were revealed so everyone's on a more even playing field
Best Scene - Joe tells Barry not to lose the light within him
Biggest Aww Scene - Caitlin cries over Ronnie with Cisco / Barry and Henry's jail conversation
Best Character Interaction - Caitlin and Cisco
Worst "Hi Honey, I'm Home" Entrance Ever - Ronnie lets Caitlin know he's still alive by immolating himself
Biggest Hmm - not sure how Eddie's going to feel about Barry giving Iris a wedding band for Christmas even if it is a replica of her mother's and on a necklace
Best Reveal - two metahumans were in the house the night Barry's mom died
The "Oh Poor Baby" Award - I'm not sure who I feel most sorry for, Barry or Caitlin
Biggest Blackmailer - Barry is surprisingly adept at doing whatever it takes to get what he wants
Best Save - Firestorm saves the Flash from the Yellow Blur. Yeah, I can't believe I just typed that sentence either.
Best Plan - Joe comes clean to Barry about the yellow blur
Best Flashback - Barry and his mom
The "It's a Nice Switch" Award - Ronnie names himself Firestorm instead of waiting for Cisco to do it
Best Parenting - Both Henry and Joe were good fathers to Barry. He's lucky to have both.
Best Quotes -
1. Joe: "When you first moved in with us, I thought it was going to be too much. I'm already a single dad. Finances were tough and you were a little boy who just lost his mother, but man was I wrong. Within 2 weeks, you would change the whole dynamic of the house. Suddenly the house was filled with this light, this energy. I mean you brightened up everything. You've seen more darkness than any man will in a lifetime and you never let it dim your soul. So there I was thinking that I'm changing your life by taking you in, but truth is you changed mine. So don't lose that light now, Bar. The world may need The Flash, but I need my Barry Allen. Let's go home."
2. Henry: "Hear me now. The man in the yellow suit has taken enough from us already. Don't let him take anymore."
3. Caitlin: "I used to play this game in my head. What would I give up for just one more minute with him? My house, my career, the rest of my life. Today I finally got that minute and I wish I hadn't. Seeing him like that, what he's become. Dear God, I wish he had just died that day."
4. Joe: "Okay, the only red suited dude I want in this house right now is Kris Kringle. You got it?"
5. Nora: "See you're not afraid of the dark, Barry. You're afraid of being alone in the dark, and that goes away when you realize something. You're never really alone."
The cast of this show keeps me coming back for more. There is a real vibe with all of them together, whether they are mercilessly teasing or helping each other of a tough situation. It's too bad Edie is going to prison, because I thought she fit in well too. Her banter with Nina made me laugh. I wasn't as thrilled with the Phil gambling storyline but I adore how Carlos tries to help him out with less than fabulous consequences. I did miss Burt though. I wonder why they replaced him.
Best Reason to Watch - Nina and her new friend
Best Scene - Phil turns in Edie so Nina won't have to
Best Character Interaction - Nina and Edie
Most in Need of Home Depot - Phil really needs to stop gambling and fix up his home before it is condemned
Most in Need of Self-Esteem - Edie, who frequently tampers with evidence to help her friends
Worst Consequence from the Right Thing - now they have to retry every case with evidence from Edie
Biggest Dilemma - Nina needs either turn in her friend for evidence tampering or screw over justice
Worst Lawyer - Phil, who is so wrapped up in his horserace that he puts the horse names into his closing argument
Worst First Impression - Nina refuses to hold the elevator open for her new boss
Biggest Surprise - a jailhouse horseracing insider tip could have won Phil big money / bookie's nephew
Least Surprising - Carlos never placed the winning bet
Best Quotes -
1. Nina: "What does it say about me though that the only other person who gets me is batsh** crazy?" Phil: "That you're batsh** crazy." Nina: "That was a rhetorical question."
2. Geoffrey: "Do you actually work here because I've never seen you do anything?"
3. Edie: "I am sorry when people refer to their exes as crazy. It's like, hey maybe you made them crazy, dude."
If I had to describe this episode in one word, it would be intense. Even the opening scene when Dr. Tsing and Cage willingly kill one of their own in the name of scientific research was a quagmire of alternate issues and needs. The most intense of course was the grounder vs. Ark standoff, leading to Abby electrocuting Lincoln back to life. May I take this moment to say that at least one show didn't kill off the wrong person this week!!! Still it is the ending ultimatum that really hit home. Will it be peace in exchange for Finn's life or the shortest alliance in history? My bet is Finn willingly offers himself up, knowing that the writers have irrevocably damaged his character to my dissatisfaction.
Best Reason to Watch - the grounders vs. the Ark
Best Cliffhanger - Finn's life in return for a truce
Best Scene - Abby jolts Lincoln back to life as things are about to turn ugly
Most Evil - Dr. Tsing, who doesn't care how many die for her research
Most Correct - Finn yes, you are part of the reason why the grounders are attacking. Congratulations. Anyone who dies is on your head.
The "I Don't Feel Sorry for You" Award - Finn can emoangst all over the place but it doesn't change what he did
Best Return - Nyko, who is starting to become my favorite grounder
Most Insane Sounding - Jaha
Best Answer to an Old Question - Anya was a major leader and not just a small tribal one. Good to know.
Best Return - tie - Nyko and non-reaper Lincoln
Best Quotes -
1. Jaha: "Everything we did to survive, you're just throwing it all away. Why?" Abby: "Because I have faith too…in my daughter."
2. Harper: "I just want to go home." Cage: "I know. So do we."
3. Abby: "Clarke, you said that Lincoln is going through withdrawal. We don't even know what he's withdrawing from. The detox alone could kill him." Clarke: "That's where you come in." Abby: "And if I can't save him?" Clarke: "That's not an option."
4. Jasper: "We're criminals right? So let's be criminals."
5. Jasper: "And they said we wouldn't amount to anything."
I can't stand ET. Yeah, I know. It makes me a horrible person, but you get trapped in a blizzard with your entire extended family (and one bathroom) when your aunt has just given every single family a VHS copy of ET and see how much you like it after the 101st consecutive time it's on. My 80's nightmares include spiders, ET, and Big Macs. This episode of The Goldbergs however was a classic combination of heart and laughter, especially since it contained so much Murray back story. I am glad we finally met his dad and that he reassured Adam that they would never grow apart. It was the biggest awwww scene of the week for me. I also really liked Beverly this week. I'm not sure I believe she would be so gullible, but she was overboard but not so obnoxious this time. All in all, this episode is a great reminder of why The Goldbergs is my favorite comedy and sometimes my favorite show on TV.
Best Reason to Watch - all the heart and laughs 22 minutes can pack in
Biggest Awww Moment - Murray uses the ET line to tell Adam he will always be there for him
Best Introduction - Murray's dad
Best Scam Name - John Calabasas sounds enough like the legitimate company, John Casablancas to fool anyone who gave money to a poor Nigerian prince on the internet
The "That's Actually Not Too Bad" Award - Barry Comfortable is a puntastic name for a clothing line. The kids' version could be Beary Comfortable.
Most Cringeworthy - mother and son professional pictures
Best Secret - Beverly and Erica share the secret of Barry's modeling success.
Best Moment - Murray reluctantly stops to see what's wrong with Adam when he says he's not okay
Best Shot - Barry stands right in the way of the TV revealing what year it is. 1980-something indeed.
Biggest Hmmm - no way someone who looks like Erica ever had pictures as hideously awkward as those and why exactly hasn't she burned them
Most Cynical - Murray's dad was rooting for ET to be autopsied. I hate that movie but even I wanted him to go home.
Weirdest Apology Offering - pickled beets
Best Back Story - Murray and his dad
Biggest Laugh - Barry's modeling poses
Biggest Shock - Murray starts crying in ET
Fastest Check Writer - Beverly can whip one out in 3 seconds flat, which would not be a good skill for me
Best Nostalgia - Kokomo by the Beach Boys
Best Quotes -
1. Adam: "Maybe because I don't want there to be a world where we live a mile away and never speak." Murray: "Look at me. That will never be us." Adam: "Really?" Murray: "Yeah, I'll always be right here."
2. Adam: "We all know that ET's about an absent father, right?" Pops: "No, what movie were you watching? All I saw was a magic frogman build a telephone out of a Speak & Spell."
3. Barry: "Find your own island paradise."
4. Adam: "A puppet? Is Fozzie Bear just a puppet? Is Alf just a puppet? Is Yoda…" Murray: "Yes, those are all puppets."
5. Adam: "Who watches ET and sides with the FBI agents? Who does that?"
Yippee skippy, Perry's in jail. Here's hoping he is never released again. Janice is my favorite character and she is getting better and better every episode. I love how she pushes Perry to the breaking point so she can arrest him. You definitely want to stay on her good side. She's a master of psychological warfare and not above bending the rules to take someone down. I am so happy Beth confided in her instead of Jack. As for the case of the week, it was nice and twisty with several great suspects. Sadly I didn't care about any of them, each more despicable than the next, so it did lessen some of the tension.
Best Reason to Watch - Perry is finally locked up
Best Scene - Beth watches as a handcuffed Perry walks past with Janice
Best Aww Scene - Amanda allows Jack to officially meet his son
Best Detecting - Janice and Beth force a woman to admit she didn't write her tell-all by asking her the meaning of some of the words she used in her book
Biggest Twist - the hockey player ex-husband really is stalking her
The "Don't Tick Her Off" Award - Janice pushes Perry's buttons until he tries to strangle her, which gets him locked away
Biggest Idiot - generally it's Perry but anyone who allows themselves to be taped while murdering someone is a special kind of dumb
Best Quotes -
1. Perry: "And what due cause do you have? I don't see anything. Do you?" Janice: "No, but being a detective and all, I'm pretty good at looking."
2. Chase: "You see gentlemen, I'm a respected member of a highly litigious community. I don't need to stalk anyone. I sue them."
As we head into the series finale, things are heating up. Neal and Peter are undercover with Keller. Woodford trusts Neal with his bright, shiny, new plan. We're at least 2 bodies fewer than we were before. Still I have no idea where this is going. Neal obviously has a plan that pretty much has to end with his fake death. If this is what he is trying to keep Mozzie from knowing, then I understand the distance he's creating between them. I just don't like it one bit. Mozzie and Neal are as much a foundation of the show as Peter and Neal are. I don't like when they have hurt feelings between them, especially when there is only one episode left. Here's hoping that Neal is going to siphon off some of that cash to Mozzie and then have him join him on some island they just bought and fortified. The idea of Neal being all alone in the end leaves me cold. Still no matter what happens, the finale is the highlight of my TV week. Please make it a good one, Jeff Eastin.
Best Reason to Watch - it's the penultimate episode and everything is in motion
Best Scene - Mozzie explains that he can control the randomizer to an excited Neal
Biggest Oops - Peter misses his child's first sonogram and El is ticked
Most Paranoid Papa - Peter researches obstetricians complete with background checks
Least Surprising - Woodford wants Neal to find out who the mole is
Best Surprise - Mozzie gets in touch with his inner yoga
Most Intense - Woodford uses a tracking device to scan for the mole
The "Yeah No, I Can't Suspend that Much Belief" Award - I don't even buy that the smartest gang of criminals in the world don't know Neal is working for the FBI. There's no way I buy that they don't know the head FBI guy in the city where they are working. That's all kinds of shoddy.
Worst Partnership - Peter is now in control of Keller too. Like that's going to end well for anyone.
The "You Learn Something New…" Award - a group of moles is called a labor
The "Hardly Knew Ya" Award - LeSuit dies and I feel meh about it
The "Shhh, It's a Secret" Award - Peter and Jones are poking around warehouse storage just jabbering away about Neal being an informant in with the Panthers. Seriously guys, this is how people get killed.
Weirdest Sight - Peter stress eating
Biggest Genius Award - Mozzie for the way he breaks the randomizer in 30 hours
Best Manipulator - Keller, who gets LeSuit back on board to stay in the game himself and then betrays him
The "I Have to Agree" Award - I too was a child in the 70's and yes, disco sucked
Worst Liar - Peter in trying to convince LeSuit that the pictures he took of Neal handing an envelope off was official FBI work
Best Quotes -
1. Moz: "You know this hasn't always been about you protecting me."
2. Neal: "You two have been spending an awful lot of time together. I fear bonding."
3. Keller: "What happened Caff? GQ kick you off the cover?"
4. Moz: "And now that the Panthers are down a mole, it's the perfect time…" Neal: "No, no. Woodford just killed his most trusted man. Keller could have stuck that chip on you." Moz: "Or you. Neal, since we've met we've always been watching out for each other so why not now?"
5. Neal: "Yeah, subpoena us. Four will swear they didn't see anything and I'll be face down in a garbage barge bound for South Carolina." Jones: "Wow, that's where New York's garbage goes?" Neal: "One of several places. I don't want my body ended up at any of them."
6. Moz: "This is going to require much more liquor."
The first time I watched this, I feel asleep during it. The second time I was frustrated by Sherlock and Watson acting like children in a spat. It has gone on far too long now. The entire show is based on their relationship and all this contrived drama is grating. It's at Supernatural brother rift level now and trust me, that's never a good thing. The writers need to find a way for them to be in the same room without spiting each other because the dynamics are all off this season and there's no benefit so far. Time to move on or it will be me doing so.
Best Reason to Fast Forward - I care not one jot about Watson's relationship, nor about Sherlock's interpretation about it. I certainly don’t need it talked to death for a third of the episode.
Best Twist - the crime scene cleaner tying the whole thing together
Best Back Story - Kitty was accepted into a music academy but turned it down
Biggest Douche - Blake Tanner, the pompous jerk / Kramer, a multiple affair adulterer
Biggest Buttinsky - Sherlock, who keeps inserting himself into Watson's love life
Biggest Foul - Sherlock got arrested when his sting turned out to be a police sting and we didn't get to see that. No fair. It sounds like the most exciting thing that happened in the whole episode.
The "You Learn Something New…" Award - Nutmeg can give you a high? Who knew?
Worst Use of Time - Sherlock sends Kitty to find out what Watson is working on
The "That's It, We Totally Need a Crossover" Award - Sherlock scoffs at behavioral analysis so I would love to see a crossover with Criminal Minds
Most Tiresome - Sherlock and Watson are still sparring and it is beyond old now. They act like toddlers.
The "I Sympathize" Award - oh Kitty, I snickered at the use of "olfactory signature" too
Best Return - Ms. Hudson
Best New Addition - The Nose
Most Bizarre - in a show that prides itself on strange twist cases, the craziest thing is Joan's split dress when they go to the FBI office
Best Vocab - Sherlock, who uses tautological in a sentence
Best Loophole - they can't get the lawyer legally so Sherlock decides to get him with tabloids
Most Parental - Sherlock is going to let Kitty play her music loudly because he's proud of her observational skills
Music - Titus Andronicus by Titus Andronicus
Best Quotes -
1. Bell: "Nutmeg concoction? Sounds like something my aunt would give me for Christmas." Sherlock: "Well be grateful she didn’t cause you would have dissolved from the inside out."
2. Watson: "Looks like one of them's a lawyer." Kitty: "Probably him. He looks boring."
3. Watson: "How do 2 adults have a relationship where one never calls the other anything but The Nose?"
This is a classic case of when splitting up the cast can be a good thing or a terrible thing for TBBT. The scenes with Sheldon and Bernadette were warm, funny, and classic. The scenes with Leonard, Howard, and Raj were painful, annoying, and stupid. In fact, they were some of the worst TV I have seen in a long time, while the scenes with Amy, Penny, and Raj's dad were mostly filler. Thankfully Sheldon and Bernadette save this episode and I find that I really like those two together. It's an unusual pairing that works more often than not. Bernadette's reaction to Sheldon waxing poetic over Amy made him seem more human and the touching moment was topped off by one of the first real laughs of the night. Of course the ending scene with all of them together was great too. I like how Amy and Sheldon both got the perfect gift even if it was for totally different reasons. Sheldon's reversal on Christmas made for a good Grinch-type scene. Now if they could have canceled everything with the bird and just made the whole thing about Bernadette and Sheldon, this episode would have earned a much higher grade.
Best Reason to Watch - Sheldon tries to find the perfect gift for Amy
Best Reason to Fast Forward - everything with the bird
Best Character Interaction - Bernadette and Sheldon
Best Scene / Best Awww - Sheldon and Amy exchange gifts
Best Peacemaker - Raj, who helps stop the annoying Leonard and Howard fight
Biggest Grinch - Sheldon
Most Enthusiastic - Leonard over the multiwire detector
The "What an Idiot" Award - They didn't learn to shut the door before opening the curtain again? Aren't these guys geniuses?
Best Plan - Penny, who suggests pretending they were never there
Weirdest Moment - Sheldon rhapsodizing over what he knows about Amy
Most Disgusting - Howard's dead bird story and the idea of ever doing mouth-to-mouth on an animal
Least Likely to Become Anyone's Party Planner - Amy and her blowing wool games
Best Quotes -
1. Bernadette: "Why did you turn it off?" Sheldon: "Because in the last 10 minutes, Santa came to town, kissed Mommy, and ran grandma over with a reindeer. I had a drunk uncle who did all those things. Nobody sang songs about him."
2. Santa: "Santa thinks dating you may be punishment enough."
3. Amy: "You won." Penny: "It certainly doesn't feel like it, does it?"
4. Sheldon: "Ulgh, English pudding. You get yourself all excited for pudding and then here comes a cake with raisins in it."
5. Bernadette: "Wow, you really love her." Sheldon: "I do. Now let's find the kind of gift that makes her feel small and worthless."
6. Sheldon: "It's the perfect gift. How are you feeling right now? Guilty, sad, wishing you were Jewish?"
Sometimes I detest the main characters of this show. I have ever since season 2 when they let Wu think he was crazy instead of telling him the truth. Make no mistake, I hold Nick, Hank and the rest of the group utterly responsible for anything that happens from here on out. They have been complete douches to him and no, they get ZERO bonus points for finally deciding to maybe tell him after he confronts them. There aren't enough socks in the world to hurl at their insensitive and imbecilic heads! I wish he had shot at them instead of the ceiling. And now there isn't even any Trubel to remind me that I actually like this show. URGH!! The chupacabra actually had more of my sympathy than Nick and Hank did. He at least cared enough for his wife to sign his own death warrant to protect her. I am dying to see how they excuse killing a doctor in the spice shop though. Hopefully it all catches up with them. I do however feel empathy with Monroe and Rosalee being terrorized although I am not a big fan of the PSA this storyline has become. On the plus side, Grimm does know how to end on a cliffhanger though. As for Juliette's transformation, I remain skeptical about still yet another round of spell side effects. She always ends up a plot device.
Best Reason to Watch - Wu finally knows the truth / all the Wu snark
Best Reason to Fast Forward - everything in Vienna
Best Scene - Wu confronts Nick and Hank before finding out the truth
Biggest (Yet Annoying) Twist - Juliette is now a hexenbiest
Most Missed - Trubel
The "Oh How Sad" Award - The man is a hero curing disease around the world and he can't find anyone to pick him up at the airport? He deserves better.
Worst Friends / Most in Need of a Gibbs Slap, Actually about 20 - Nick and Hank for letting poor Wu think he went crazy last season. They totally suck out loud and I have not looked at either of them the same since then. Douches both!
The "Hey, I'll Pitch In" Award - If the reason Trubel had to leave is because Nick and Juliette can't afford the grocery bill when she's there, I will gladly chip in a few bucks. We need her.
Dumbest Plan - Dr. Goatsucker walks around with the blood on his t-shirt visible to anyone and only zips up his hoodie when he sees the police
Worst Policing - Wu doesn't even question the guy covered in blood on the street
Worst Spell Ingredient - liquid cow's knees
Best Twist of an Old Tale - chupacabra is a diseased Wesen
Least Believable - Nick hasn't heard of a chupacabra after all seriously weird junk he's encountered / a dog runs towards a monster instead of away from it
Biggest Cliffhanger - Monroe is kidnapped
The "It's about Time" Award - Finally a Wesen Nick doesn't know has already heard of him. Portland's not that big.
Biggest Hmmm - Does no one see the huge red wound on Dr. Goatsucker's neck? How is no one, including his wife, commenting on it?
Best Return - Sergeant Franco
Best Return by a Guy I Don't Remember - Some Resistance guy named Tavitian is back. Now if I only remembered why he's at all important. He's like the mysterious re-appearance of Josh a couple episodes ago. Can't I get Trubel back instead?
Best Quotes -
1. Wu: "Uh, I 'm not sure I understand what average is anymore in this city. Not that I have any opinion that makes sense because you know, I'm ready to go with vampire or wolfman. Do I sound a little stressed? It doesn't matter."
2. Wu speech - Wu: "I need you to answer a few questions for me. I've been thinking about it a lot and this job requires someone of stable mind and body and to be honest, stable is far from what I'm feeling right now." Nick: "Wu, you're good at what you do." Wu: "No, I'm not. I don't know what's real anymore. I don't know what the answer is, but I'm seeing things that I can't explain. All I know is I'm going to leave the best job I've ever had and you're going to let me." Hank: "Wu, this is not the time." Wu: "No Hank, it never is. I think you both know what's going on and for some reason you're keeping me in the dark. I just hope it's a really good reason. So I'm done."
3. Wu: "The cause of death in each one of these cases is what I would call Portland-esque, and by that I mean it's weird."
4. Hank: "Goatsucker? We've had worse."
5. Monroe: "I wish we could leave on a trip and not feel like something's going to go horribly wrong while we're gone."