A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Oliver: "Don't beat yourself up, Dad. I have all the faith in the world in you, bud. I love you." Greg: "Wow. You must really want something because you just used the 'I love you' you were saving for my death bed." (Folie-lex)
2. Katie: "Start talking." Oliver: "I'm as confused as you are." Cooper: "We accidentally drugged Dad. Oliver got Boosterin." Oliver: "Dude!" Cooper: "Hate me today, thank me tomorrow." Katie: "Is that what you were trying to tell me earlier?" Cooper: "Yeah, I'm sorry, Mom. Our family's become another statistic." (Folie-lex)
3. Trip: "I just spent three hours staring at that statue, trying to come up with something to say about it, and here's what I got: it is not sturdy enough for a human to climb on." Taylor: "You didn't have to do that." Trip: "Yes, I did because I'm not doing something right and I'm trying to do better.” (Folie-lex)
1. Bob, accepting his award: “Seriously though, uh, I am so grateful for this honor, but more so for that woman right there - that beautiful, powerful, elegant woman. I am an idiot. I care too much what other people think, when your opinion is the only one that really matters to me. I should have let you shine, honey, and I didn’t, and I’m sorry.” Some guy: “What does this have to do with socks?” Abishola: “If you want to speak, you should run your company better. Then maybe you could win the award.” Bob: “I love you, Abishola. You’re the best thing in my life... (looks at award)...and, uh, this is nice too. Thank you. Although it should be called Businessperson of the Year. Let’s catch up with the times, people.” (Dahne)
2. Goodwin, about Douglas: “I have never seen him like this.” Kofo: “Working?” Goodwin: “And so efficiently. It seems his resentment towards his mother is fueling him.” (Dahne)
3. Gloria: “Just remember you’re there to support Bob, like a first lady.” Kemi: “The first lady of socks.” Gloria: “Yeah that’s good. Just try not to give off so much Hillary.” Kemi: “Embrace your inner Melania.” Gloria: “Melania?” Kemi: “Yes, Melania. She’s beautiful, poised, and, like Abishola, she’s a hard-working immigrant on the arm of a large, sweaty businessman.” Gloria: “Oh my God, you are Melania.” Abishola: “Can’t I be Michelle?” Gloria: “No. There is only one Michelle.” (Dahne)
1. Fenton: “Why were you spying on me?” Frank: “We weren't spying.” Joe: “We just overheard something and we didn't move. So if anything we were just lazy.” (Prpleight)
1. Higgins: "Look we appreciate the value of a trusting relationship with the HPD.” Katsumoto: "Mmm. And this has nothing to do with our new firewall?" Magnum: "Firewall? That is news to us. But this is more so about turning over a new leaf." Katsumoto: "Mmmhh..." Higgins: "You look skeptical." Katsumoto: "Well maybe because of the past three years, I've been Charlie Brown, he's Lucy, and truth and honesty are the football." (Folie-lex)
2. Higgins: "Guys, Ethan literally just saved my life. I mean he's a veritable hero." Magnum: "Oh! He's the one who carried you out of the forest I guess, huh?" (Folie-lex)
3. Katsumoto, about Betty the military grade rifle: "Why do you even have that thing?" Rick: "Because I'm FOM." Katsumoto: "The hell's that mean?" Rick: "Friend Of Magnum." Katsumoto: "Enough said." (Folie-lex)
1. Tammy, helping with Chef Rudy’s high-end food truck: “We’ve just got to find a faster way to get it out the window.” Chef Rudy: “Yes. We could throw it at them.” (popcultureguy)
1. Kensi: “We’re not crazy, are we?” Deeks: “I mean, that seems like a non sequitur but, yeah baby, we’re crazy.” Kensi: “Deeks…” Deeks: “What? We live in Los Angeles.” (Dahne)
2. Fatima: “You should really take it easy with the reality TV. Okay, we caught you on camera leaving the warehouse last night.” Rachelle: “Okay, millennial, easy. Don’t want to be responsible for you stroking out.” Roundtree: “Stroking out?” Rachelle: “Just out here trying to respect my elders.” Fatima: “How old do you think we are?” Rachelle: “You’ve got Facebook accounts, don’t ya? If the Suburban Mom shoe fits…” ~~~Aside: Rachelle is the most annoying one-off character in a long time on this show, but she still made me laugh. (Dahne)
3. Sam: “Off-White, Rick, Balenciaga…” Callen: “Yeah, I don’t have my Rosetta Stone on me. You want to translate.” (Dahne)
1. Dave: "You know what happens when you keep an open mind? New stuff gets in there." (Prpleight)
1. Sonny: “This is officially the worst day off ever. Please tell me y'all are gonna meet for drinks later?” ~~~I've felt that sentiment far too many times this year. (Prpleight) (Editor's Note - I think we all have. Here's to 2021. ~Dahne)
1. Wade: "You've been cyber-stalking my girlfriend?” Natalie: "We were just trying to make sure that she wasn't some crazy black widow-type who preys on single fathers with two daughters." Delia: "Oh, please...but is she?" (Folie-lex)
2. Ben: "There's a reason he's never had one before, Forrest. It looks like a gun." Forrest: "It doesn't look like a gun. It's neon blue. What am I missing here?" Ben: "Uhhhh, it's not about the colour of the gun. It's about the colour of my son." (Folie-lex)
3. Michelle: "You know what? I'm gonna stay out of this one. 'Cause I just had this talk last week with my study group, and after Zoe's gymnastics, and I'm only half way through Delia's mile-long 'how can I help you?' email. I am exhausted. My Black hurts." (Folie-lex)
What Else We’re Watching:
1. Rose: “Who knew sex wrapped up in a lie could be so hot?” Mark: “Literally everyone.” (Prpleight)
1. Kate: "Okay, uh, will Serious Toby be watching the ultrasound on FaceTime, or will Funny Toby miss seeing Baby Chloe for the first time?" Toby: "Baby Chloe? So have we decided to go with that name?" Kate: "I think we have." Toby: "Serious Toby is very excited. It's just hard to tell because he's so serious." (Folie-lex)
2. Jack: "I'm an ordinary man. And for me, the way my dad treated me, to get out of that house an ordinary man, that is an accomplishment in my book. But...our kids, I want them to know their dad sees greatness in them. I will kill myself to make them feel that way. Even when...even when deep down, I just want to hold my kid and...and tell him to go take a nap." (Folie-lex)
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