A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Maddie: “Could this operation not work? Could you..” Drew: “No. No, no, no, I’m not gonna die. Look, I’ll be out of the hospital in 2-3 days. This new kidney’s gonna give me all this energy. I won’t be as pale. Who knows? I might even get abs. I’ll get a 2-pack. That’s one more pack than I currently have.” Maddie: “Swear it.” Drew: “What?” Maddie: “That you’re not gonna die.” Drew: “Yeah, Maddie, I swear.” (Dahne)2. Sam, about Drew: “Eli, this guy can’t throw an apple. Don’t make sports analogies.” (Dahne)
3. Maddie: “He said this wasn’t a big deal, but I looked it up and it is. It’s very serious.” Gina: “Yeah, it is.” Maddie: “He could die.” Gina: “He could, and I could die. And so could you, if you keep letting strangers through your window.” (Dahne)
Bob Hearts Abishola - 1. Bob: “I wanted to tell you I love you.” Abishola: “I love you too. This is going to be so hard but when have things ever been easy for us?” Bob: “Wh..what are you saying?” Abishola: “Bob, will you marry me?” Bob: “Yes.” Kemi: “Have you idiots not seen a single romantic comedy? Clap!” (Dahne)2. Tunde: “Don’t worry. I will get you the best engagement ring at a price that will make the jeweler weep.” Bob: “I’m not really too worried about price.” Tunde: “If you’re going to say stupid things, go wait in the van.” (Dahne)
3. Bob: “This isn't my first rodeo, Tunde.” Tunde: “Then act like it, cowboy, ‘cause you are about to get thrown from the bull.” (Dahne)
Bull - 1. Bull, to his baby daughter, looking off his balcony at NYC: “You see that. You like that. Well, that is the world I thought I was bringing you into. Unfortunately, shortly after you arrived, it closed for business. We’re just allowed to stand at a distance and look at it now, not be a part of it, be in it. Sorry about that, Astrid. Don’t quite know what we’re doing here anymore. We’re just sitting around - holding our breath, waiting for a cure, waiting for a miracle.” (Dahne)2. Michael Weatherly: “It’s great to be back. We missed you guys.” (Dahne)
3. Bull: “I think I’m having trouble with the idea that nothing is forever. That things change - the way we do things, the way we live. This thing I thought I was gonna do for the rest of my life, I think it might be over. I think maybe I’m extinct.” IRS Izzy: “No, that can’t be. Do you have family? People you live with? People you count on? People who count on you? Then, you endure. Then you are not extinct.” Bull: “I don’t think it’s as simple as that.” IRS Izzy: “It’s absolutely that simple. It has to be…” (Dahne)
Fargo - 1. Rabbi Milligan, after reading “The Future Is Now” on the completed billboard: “Hey! Hey! What the heck does that even mean?” Worker: “Got me. Could be a statement as to the underlying unreliability of time. Or a testimony along the lines of "seize the day". They don't pay me to write 'em, just slap 'em up. Which I did. And now it's done. And I find myself once more at a crossroads, unemployed. So I suppose for me the future I once feared has arrived as predicted by this very billboard.” (DarkUFO)
FBI: Most Wanted - 1. Jess: “One teacher who believes in you can change your life.” Sheryll: “Or save it.” (Dahne)2. Ms. Diaz: “But I’m just his art teacher.” Jess: “Whether you know it or not, you’re important to him. You’re the closest thing he has to family.” (Dahne)
3. Hana, to the stoned suspect: “Don’t smile. It’s not a selfie.” (Dahne)
The Good Lord Bird - 1. John Brown: "The voice of our spirit is gentle. Sometimes you have to fly to hear it." (Elvis)2. John Brown: "There is an eternity behind us and there is an eternity ahead. This little speck right here at center... that's our lives." (Elvis)
The Simpsons - 1. "You're under arrest... for spoiling the ending! I was only on episode 2!" (Abir)
Star Trek: Discovery - 1. Georgiou: “You had me at ‘unsanctioned mission’.” (Kath M)2. Burnham, about Georgiou: “Your emotional spectrum runs from cranky to homicidal.” (Kath M)
3. Tolor: “You are cleared to land, but I’ve got my eye on you.” Georgiou: “I wouldn’t care about your eyes unless they were hanging from my belt.” (Kath M)
Superstore - 1. Jonah: "So Cloud 9 just thinks that the pandemic is over? Because I'm pretty sure nobody told the pandemic that." Garrett: "Well, you gotta look at it from corporate's perspective: they love money and they don't care if we die." (Lindsey)2. Dina: "Okay, this event is pretty straightforward. With every purchase, they spin the wheel and win a prize. You'll notice there's a slot listed as 'fun.' I think you're supposed to provide the customer with fun at your own discretion. Just, you know, keep it above the belt." (Lindsey)
3. Garrett: "You're just gonna let him ditch?" Cheyenne: "I mean, I feel kind of bad for him. Like, this year's been tough enough, and then he had the big breakup on top of it. I caught him listening to this music in this car... It didn't even have a beat, it was just, like, a guitar and a man." (Lindsey)
This Is Us - 1. Madison, admitting to Kevin: “I’m obsessed with the show ‘Outlander’. I’ve been to conventions.” (Kath M)
The Unicorn - 1. Michelle: “Don’t tell me, ‘I’m killing it.’ You keep telling me, ‘I’m killing it,’ but I’m not. I’m drowning, and I know how proud of me you are, but i don’t know why I thought I could do this. I feel like I’m failing you.” Ben: “Failing me? Baby, you think I’m proud of you because you’re great at math? I’m proud of you because you’re doing something incredibly brave.” Michelle: “What?” Ben: “Going back to school...after all this time. Of course, it’s gonna be hard, but don’t let that freeze you up because you are my superstar.” Michelle: “Stop saying that.” Ben: “But you are.” (Dahne and Folie-lex)2. Delia: "What's with the buts? There's no but... It's just... my alarm bells are going off, okay? She sounds so complicated. I mean you got the kid, you got the ex-husband, you got the pre-airbags Volvo. I mean... alarm bells!" Wade: "I thought you said there were no buts." Forest: "No, no, no. Technically that was an 'it's just'." Delia: "Thank you." (Folie-lex)
Young Sheldon - 1. Sheldon: “You defaced my body with a grammatical error.” Missy: “I guess that’s your problem. Y-O-U-R.” (Dahne)2. Sheldon: “I was hoping you could help me build up leg muscles to increase my speed.” Georgie: “If you don’t want people chasing you, be less annoying.” (Dahne)
3. Sheldon: “I need mom to sing Soft Kitty.” Missy: “Don’t do it.” Sheldon: “Why?” Missy: “You're being a baby again.” Sheldon: “But I’m injured.” Missy: “Big deal. You broke your arm. Look at Stephen Hawking over there. He’s in a wheelchair. You don’t hear him whining about it with his robot voice.” Sheldon: “So you’re saying he and I are brilliant minds who have both suffered great physical adversity.” Missy: “That’s not even close to what I’m saying.” (Dahne)
What Else We’re Watching:
Star Trek: Discovery - Episode 1.07 1. Announcer: “Science Specialist Burnham and Lieutenant Tyler, please report to the bridge.” Tyler: “Look at that. Saved from the horrors of small talk by duty.” (Dahne)2. Michael: “I fear my personal history interferes with my ability to forge relationships. I am among the others but also apart. I wish sorely to step out of my comfort zone, yet don’t know how. But tonight, I will face one of my greatest challenges so far. Tonight, we are having a party.” ~~As a fellow introvert, I deeply understand the challenge of a party. This made me laugh and nod my head. (Dahne)
About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for
SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to
Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted
The 100 "Red-Shirted" and
Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a
Last Week in TV column for
her blog and SpoilerTV.
~ "I speak TV."
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