Monday, May 23, 2016

Last Week in TV - Week of May 15 - Reviews and Episode Awards



Hello and welcome back to Last Week in TV. I apologize for the column being erratic these last few weeks but most of my big projects are now behind me and it should be more regular until we take a break in July. If you have ever wanted to be a part of writing for Last Week in TV, I am looking for people to help with a special column coming up featuring childhood TV. Just watch a few episodes of a show you liked as a kid or teen and write a short review (a few sentences) about how well the show does or does not standup now that you are older and give it some episode awards. If you are interested in participating or being a guest reviewer over the summer, e-mail me at dahne@spoilertv.com for more details. Also I will be working on the 2nd Annual Pitch Your Show - Summer Version in the next 2 weeks. It's a great time to share why people should try your favorite shows, new and old, cancelled and renewed, ratings hit or not. If you haven't experienced Pitch Your Show before, here's one of the 6 articles based on it from last summer. Not only is it fun to promote your favorites, but you might find a new show to love too. Also if you have a show you'd like me to watch, just fill out the short 2-question form below. A random number generator picks the nominated show each week so next time it is Grandfathered. Since I planned on marathoning the rest of it over the summer anyway, it will be good motivation. I hope you have a great week, and as always, happy TV viewing.







Moment of the Week



While this is normally where episode of the week appears, I have to admit that I've been doing so much catch up TV these last few days, I am no longer sure of what actually aired last week and what ended earlier. Therefore I decided to cheat here and pick my favorite moment. There was a lot to love about the shows I watched this week but my favorite was Lexa's entrance on The 100. While the rest of her time went downhill from there for me, I love how ferocious and utterly kick butt she was in her first 30 seconds of the season finale. From the way she leapt onto the screen to that smirk she gave Clarke to how she neatly dispatched 7 people in 10 seconds, she plain rocked. This show has had plenty of awesome warriors but none hold a candle to Lexa and I still miss this character. Plus, double sword action. Can't beat that.


Nominated Episode



Constantine - 1.05 - Danse Vaudou

I dropped Constantine after the third or fourth episode because I thought Constantine was a jerk, it was way too hyped up in the fandom, and I am NEVER a fan of replacing a lead for someone new right after the pilot. To be honest, it also suffered from my utter loathing of Dracula which was in its place before. Before Grimm went nuts and had the main character start a romantic relationship with his rapist, this show and Dracula before it were both letdowns on my night of Grimm. Coming back at it fresh, it was much better than I remember. Constantine didn't come off quite as douchey and I loved Papa Midnite this time around. Their interaction made the episode. I also loved Chas like usual and Zed started to grow on me. I still think it is overrated but I do see why it reached cult status and has a passionate following. This episode was particularly poignant because it was all about the extra pain that guilt brings in a loved one's death. I enjoyed the guest stars and the back story they came with. While I do not have time to add Constantine to my to-watch list, this was an enjoyable episode and I'm glad I got a chance to re-evaluate my former opinion on it.

Grade: B
Ranking: 3
Audience - those who love a good supernatural mystery to solve

Best Reason to Watch - it's a procedural supernatural show with a strong serialized mytharc / character interactions
Best Scene - Chas and Zed stop the ghosts
Best Character Interaction - Constantine and Papa Midnite
Best Reaction - Corrigan to Constantine's business card reading, "Master of the Black Arts"
Best Twist - the ones who feel guilty are the only ones who can release the ghosts
Best Snark - Constantine
Biggest Shock - the EMT's when Chas starts breathing again and the wound on his torso heals
Biggest What the Heck? - What exactly is going to happen to Corrigan in the future?
Worst Gift - Zed's ability to see the supernatural
Worst Plan - confronting Papa Midnite with no plan
The "Welcome Back" Award - Papa Midnite
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - Michael James Shaw from Limitless

Best Quotes -
1. Papa: "I don't like it. It's sloppy. You're like a child with your father's spell book." Constantine: "The only magic my old man ever did was making a pint disappear."
2. Papa: "Our truce is over at the bottom of that glass so sip cautiously."
3. Papa: "This spell is of our own creation. We bow to you united." Constantine: "Oh well, if it's come to that mate, these are dark days indeed."
4. Constantine: "A rich man's scotch, it always comes with an aftertaste."
5. Constantine: "Well why have one case when you can have two with twice the trouble, eh?"



Guest Reviews



12 Monkeys - 2.04 - Emergence
BY BlueStar

So many revelations in this episode. Jones sends Ramse back in time to find Cole and Cassie and so he can let her know via a newspaper ad where they are so she can bring them all back to 2044. Ramse fails to prevent the paradox like Cole and Cassie due to being hit by a car upon appearance in 1944 – ouch! He manages to sneak out of the hospital and get to the mental asylum only for the messenger team to handcuff him. Cassie and Cole are arrested for the murders of Tommy and his father, but Ramse gets free and manages to help them escape the agents. Meanwhile, Jones goes to Jennifer for help understanding what is happening to the forest and time itself. Finally, Cole, Cassie, and Ramse return to 2044 and they (along with Jones) argue over their differences. Cole ends the argument saying that they must work together, now more than ever if they are to prevent the 12 Monkeys from destroying time.

Grade: A-
Status - unknown by SyFy

Best Reason To Watch – We find out what the 12 Monkeys’ ultimate plan is and who the Pallid Man is
Best Scene – Jennifer tells Jones about time’s reliance on the primaries
Best Reaction – The agent to seeing Ramse, Cassie, and Cole travel back to 2044
Best New Character – Dr. Eckland, who I’m liking more and more every time we see him. I love that he’s not afraid to set Jones straight.
Most Interesting Connection – The Pallid Man is the female messenger’s son
Most Like A Cockroach / Least Surprising – The Pallid Man is still alive
Worst Luck: Ramse – They really need a time travel machine that avoids roads (and North Korea while at it).

Best Quotes:
1. Jennifer: “Time and man, we grew up together. We depend on each other.” Jones: “Impossible. Time’s older than man, and infinite.” Jennifer: “But in the here and now, we help it think. Time needs us. Some of us more than others. Primaries – living, breathing gears in time’s wristwatch. We keep it moving, steady, in sync. Tick, tock, past, present, future. But now, if someone were to destroy us…” Jones: “Paradox.” Jennifer: “Gears break. Time stops working. Collapses. No past. No present. No future. Only now. An infinite now of death and life together. No beginning, no end. All of humanity unborn and destroyed. A memory of tomorrow.”
2. Dr. Eckland: “Why are you being such an ***hole?” Jones: “How dare you? I’m trying to solve the problem.” Dr. Eckland: “No, you’re not. You’re trying to be right. So let’s try this instead. Just-just shut up and listen. Open your mind. You are not just a scientist. You are an explorer. You’re pushing boundaries. Inventing the new. You’re not just analyzing the old. That’s what makes you you, Katarina.” (Pauses) “Oh, time is cruel. Because of that, you don’t know me. But, boy, I know you, and you are lost, and you’re scared. But what does the explorer do when they’re lost? They go full speed ahead into the unknown. You taught me that.”
3. Ramse: “I get it. I’m alive because of him. You know what, Cassie? I could say one thing with absolute certainty.” Cassie: “What’s that, Ramse?” Ramse: “James Cole is loyal. To a fault. That’s a rare thing. He beats himself up for what he turned you into, and you want to hate him for it.” Cassie: “I don’t hate him.” Ramse: “Forgive him. Like he did me. Like he would for you.”
4. Agent #1: “Okay, look. The reason we brought you here is we’re in a huge sh** storm because of you two. So before things get all complicated with lawyers and judges, we gotta get this right. [To Cassie] Let’s have at it, honey.” Cole: “I’m honey. She’s baby-cakes.”



12 Monkeys - 2.05 - Bodies of Water
BY BlueStar 

This one goes to the girls! Cassie goes back to 2016 to get information from that version of Jennifer, who is now sane after having taken pills for a while. Needing to trigger her visions, Cassie brings her to her family summer house, and the 12 Monkeys team finds them there. Olivia causes Cassie to have a vision using the water again, and she doesn’t just see the Witness this time, but Aaron too (Does that mean they are one and the same?). Jennifer ends up saving her, and stabbing Olivia (most likely) fatally. Meanwhile in 2044 Cole and Ramse make a plan to get rid of Deacon once and for all by giving him up to an enemy of his, but the plan fails since Deacon manages to escape. The episode ends with Cassie and Cole meeting in a bar in 2016 and her sending him after another primary in 1975 New York, warning him he won’t be friendly like the others. Finally, the Pallid man speaks to the Witness and becomes the next 12 Monkeys leader.

Grade: B overall (It would be in a B+/A- range if it had been all about sane Jennifer and Cassie's team up)

Best Reason To Watch – Sane Jennifer was actually pretty great. I liked her a lot.
Best Scene – Jennifer stabs Olivia
Biggest Question – Who is the Witness?
Horror Movie Moment Award – Deacon shows up covered in blood
Most Tension – Tie between Cole and Ramse vs. Deacon and Olivia vs. the Pallid Man. The 12 Monkeys team is falling apart one failure at a time.
Most Tragic – Jennifer’s mentally ill mother tried to drown her.
Warming Up – Cassie, who is beginning to feel more like the Cassie I loved last season
Worst Consequence - Jennifer is drawing pictures again after helping Cassie get information on another primary
Worst Decision – Cole and Ramse deciding to throw Deacon to the wolves, sort to speak. He totally deserves it (Yeah, sorry about his brother, but he still was a cold-hearted SOB, remember?) but I knew it was going to backfire. Plus, really, Cole? Don’t go back to your old ways now.

Best Quotes:
1. Jennifer: “You want to know what the difference between you and my mother is?” Olivia: “What?” Jennifer: “I get to say goodbye to you.”
2. Jennifer: “I take my meds. I watch my stress. I stick to my routine. I cope. But she’s always there. You have no idea how exhausting it is being crazy.”
3. Ramse: “What is she – what are you doing?” Cassie: “Mustering up my energy to face Jennifer Goines again.” Cole: “Oh, come on, she’s not that bad.” Cassie: “She’s worst!” Ramse: “She’s horrible, man.”
4. Cole: “You never call; you never write.”



Agents of SHIELD - 3.20 - Emancipation
BY Swanpride 

Well played, writers, really well played. I spent the first half of the episode thinking "No, Lincoln can't be THAT stupid, this has to be a plan." But he played his role so well and once he attacked Mack, they had me. Of all the rouses Coulson has thought up in the past (and there have been a few - remember Bakshi? Or Talbot using Creel as back-up plan?), this was the first time I fell for it too. Though I am not sure what to think about the result of said rouse. The long expected fight between Hive and Lash seemed to be over a little bit fast for my taste, and I dislike the notion that Lash's one reason for existing was to rescue Daisy. Not just because I think that she is already way too "special" anyway, but also because I would like the notion that Lash failed to fulfill his destiny, leaving Hive with no real opponent. I don't think that killing off Lash at this point was necessarily a bad idea (RIP, Andrew), since it makes the finale more unpredictable. I certainly have run out of fan-theories how to defeat him.

Grade: B+
Status - Renewed by ABC on Tuesdays

Best Reason to Watch - That was some really clever writing
Best Scene - Lash freeing Daisy from the sway.
Best Character - Lash, even though his last fight is a little bit of a let-down
Best Team-up - May and Coulson makes the best plans
Best Effects - The fire chain, though I really didn't appreciate it cutting through Lash
Most Creepy - The...whatever the things are Hive created. I know those were despicable human beings to begin with, but nobody deserves that.
Best Nickname - Swayze Daisy, too bad that the opportunity to use it has passed
Biggest Hypocrite - Coulson's little speech about the list. Not that I disagree with them, but I can't remember him getting rid of the index.
Most Meat - The whole discussion about if Talbot should inform other authorities show that the Sokovia Accords would never work in an actual emergency situation.
Most Random Observation - Naturally Coulson would basically be Team Cap.
My Prediction of the Week - I have the feeling that the crucifix will become some sort of hot potato next week but I lay my money on Coulson concerning the big question of who will die.

Best Quote:
1. Talbot: "Okay, Coulson, I have seen the good and the bad, now show me the ugly."
2. Talbot: "Why do you think this Lash can defeat Hive, and who in tarnation names these things?"



Agents of SHIELD - 3.21 - Absolution
BY Swanpride

This episode had one of the worst starts possible. I hate dream sequences with a passion, especially if they are only there to create false drama. In fact all the Daisy scenes in the beginning annoyed me because they took the pace out of the mission. But once the show concentrated on what the other characters were up to, the episode became a relentless ride. The Quinjet flying under water, the trap set for Hive, Fitz doing computer magic and nearly being dragged into the Zombie mist and finally Daisy begging Hive to take her back, every bit of it was equally surprising and compelling. Especially nice touch was triggering all the memories in Hive, though I wish the show had done a little bit more with that concept. Also, they really had to throw in Lincoln wanting to leave, didn't they? That was the point at which I was 99% sure they would go for the cop-out solution and kill off Lincoln instead of one of the core members of the team.

Grade: A-

Best Reason to Watch - Inhuman action!!! God, I love Yoyo!
Best Scene - Yoyo taking out Hive…temporarily
Best Character - Did I mention how much I love Yoyo?
Best Team-up - Mack and Yoyo
Best Effects - The under-water-flight
Most Missed - Joey. Hopefully he will be back next season.
Best Comic Relief - Doctor Radcliff who has really grown on me, the little, beady-eyed worm
Most Cute - Jemma planning to take Fitz's breath away...by going snorkeling
Best Prop - The overlong code
Most Random Observation - I hope the real safeguards for war heads are a little bit better, because if the government really had to shut down one fast, they would be in trouble.

Best Quote:
1. Yoyo: "Oh, this isn't about super speed; this is about your turtle speed. You work and then you stare. Then work and then more staring. We have to go."
2. Hive: "This won't kill me." Mack: "No, but it will suck."
3. Yoyo: "He is lucky he is handsome."
4. Talbot: "Seriously stupid. Like betting on Wrestlemania stupid." (Editor's note - Bwaaahhh! ~Dahne)



Agents of SHIELD - 3.22 - Ascention
BY Swanpride

I am torn on this one. Yeah, they went with the cop-out dead but for what it was, it was exceptionally well done. The episode picked up speed from the previous episode, allowing every character a moment to shine, proving once again that while fighting abilities are useful, smart thinking is ultimately superior. And then it delivered a conclusion drenched in symbolism, but also in genuine emotions just to pull the audience abruptly out of it. The same way I disliked how the previous episode started, I disliked how this one ended, with a six months jump which expected me to care about Daisy's emotional problems. But I was not in the mood for this at all. I wanted to reel a little bit over the loss of Lincoln, who really deserved better than this, and Ward. Brett Dalton had an exceptional run on this show, and while Ward was more creepy than likable, I always felt it was a joy to watch him. Also, what about all those people who got turned? Or the Inhumans? They barely used them this season, does this mean we won't get a proper team with them next season either now that their nominal leader is missing in bad make-up? I have to give the shows props, though for setting up a new storyline for the upcoming season right under my nose. While I really enjoyed Radcliff those last episodes, I never expected him to be more than a one-off character.

Grade: A-

Best Reason to Watch - The feels!
Best Scene - Hive and Lincoln, sharing their last moment together
Best Character - Let's give it to Brett Dalton, for all the great work he did with Ward and Hive.
Best Team-up - May and Fitz are practically a two-men army with her fighting abilities and his brain
Best Effects - Hive's true face
Best Action - The team vs mindless whatevers
Most Out of Place - Hive doing the Superhero landing. Villains are not allowed to do this specific overly dramatic pose.
Most on the Nose - Daisy's story being one about addiction
Best Prop - Fitz invisible gun (and he even told the guy!)
Most Wasted - Mack's Shotgun-Axe. After waiting the whole season for it, it really didn't get enough attention with everything else which was going on
Most Dramatic - Yoyo catching the bullets for Mack
Most Geeky - Coulson pretending to be Princess Leia
Most Random Observation - I hope Fitzsimmons did a lot of snorkelling in the six months. And Fondue.
My Prediction of the Week - None this time around. I have no idea what the show will do next, but I hope that they will use what will most likely be their last season wisely. Considering the speed ABC is currently getting rid of Marvel shows, I doubt that this one will last past syndication, no matter what the ratings say or what BS excuse they come up with for moving it to a later time slot.

Best Quote:
1. Radcliff: "It's not a hunch, it's science. It's a science hunch."
2. Coulson: "We better follow him. He has no idea where he is going."
3. Coulson: "The only difference is, when you give an order, your soldiers have no choice but to obey. But when I gave my team the order to stay behind, they just wouldn't listen."
4. Hive: "To feel a connection. But you must feel it already. To sacrifice for them. With all their flaws."
Lincoln: "They are only human."



Jane the Virgin – 2.21 – Chapter 43
BY Emma 

Jane and Michael’s wedding and Mateo’s birthday are just around the corner. Planning is going well and Jane is feeling good. Uh oh, that’s the first sign we have a rough hour ahead of us! Jane has problems with the wedding when the crew of Rogelio’s telenovela threatens to strike the day before the wedding. Ordinarily, not a problem except they built the set where Jane is getting married! Rogelio tries to appease the crew in typical Rogelio fashion (gift baskets) before making a deal to join the crew for a week – if he makes it the whole week, they wait to strike until after the wedding, if not, he becomes the face of their cause. They shake on it and the crew comes up with increasingly devious ways to get Rogelio to throw in the towel. Rogelio takes it all in stride until they ask him to change a light bulb, in the ceiling, using scaffolding because they know he’s afraid of heights. It takes a tough love pep talk from Jane for him to get it done and all seems to have ended well until Rogelio learns that the executives plan to fire the entire crew the day before the wedding! Meanwhile, Mateo’s cough has become serious and he’s admitted to the hospital – just in time to celebrate his first birthday. Rafael meets Jane at the hospital and while Mateo sleeps, he tells Jane about how Petra’s plan to trap Derek failed and he had to give in to his blackmail demands. They have a moment while we flashback to Mateo’s greatest hits over the last year – making me even more suspicious that Rafael will not “forever hold his peace” during next week’s wedding!

Grade: B+
Status - Renewed by The CW on Mondays

Best Reason to Watch – Rogelio spends a week working as a member of the crew
Best Scene – Rogelio changes a light bulb
Best Humorous Scene – smack down on the playground
Best Awww Scene – Jane calls Petra family and asks her to reconsider coming to her wedding
Best Character Interaction – all of Jane and Petra’s not-competing-but-competing scenes
Best Foreshadowing – Mateo has a cold
Best Plan that Should’ve Worked – fake FBI raid to elicit a confession from Derek
Best Use of Music – Mission Impossible: Lightbulb Change
The “I Was Right!” Award – Anezka IS in cahoots with Magda
The “Best Fiancé. Ever.” Award – Michael, for reading Jane’s romance novel draft
The “I’m With You, Mateo” Award – clowns are scary and make me cry too
The “Bless Her Heart” Award – Alba, thinking everyone who wants to read Jane’s work is a publisher
The “Welcome Back” Award (characters) – Magda / Susanna / Sin Rosetro (flashback)

Best Quotes:
1. Jane (to Petra): “Now I’d like you to reconsider coming to my wedding because you’re my son’s half-sister’s mother which makes us family and family shows up.”
2. Rogelio: “Ready to go to work? Welcome production personnel to this very special production meeting. With Dina away, I am thrilled to be your leader today.” Narrator: “Huh, guess they don’t applaud at production meetings.”
3. Rogelio: “They asked me to change a light bulb but I just can’t do it. And I know what you’re going to say…that it doesn’t matter and that you love me.” Jane: “Wrong. You’re doing it.” Rogelio: “What?” Jane: “Otherwise, Michael’s mom can’t come to the wedding. So, stop being a baby, walk this catwalk and change that freaking light bulb.”



Jane the Virgin – 2.22 – Chapter 44
BY Emma 

Earlier in the season when Jane chose Michael, I predicted that Jane would marry Michael but he would be shot and killed getting ice after they consummated their marriage, but the consummation would lead to Jane being pregnant in S3. Well, they did get married, he was shot getting ice and there is a S3 pregnancy but it’s not exactly how I predicted. Let me start from the beginning…Jane and Michael’s wedding day has arrived. All the planning, all the obstacles, it all comes down to this one perfect day. It wouldn’t be a telenovela if they didn’t face a few more obstacles but the wedding is beautiful and the reception is the best party in town (seriously, they have Bruno Mars). They were originally going to spend their wedding night in a different hotel but hormones dictate they stay put. However, Jane’s not going to waste a perfectly good nighty and Michael goes to get ice for the champagne while she changes. As I predicted, Michael is shot – by his partner Susanna! Susanna heads back to her hotel room and reveals herself as Rose to Luisa and asks her to run away with her! Meanwhile, Anezka puts her and Magda’s plan into action. She drugs Petra causing a condition known as Locked-In Syndrome. Petra can’t move or speak so Anezka takes her place telling Petra that she will take care of Rafael – and she wastes no time in doing so! How long can Anezka pass for Petra? Is there a real Susanna and if so, where is she? Will Michael survive? Is Xo going to keep the baby and if so, who’s the father? Will Jane ever lose her virginity? Ugh, is it October yet?

Grade: A

Best Reason to Watch – the wedding/reception
Best Scene – the vows / Jane and Michael’s first dance / the Father/Daughter dance
Best Story – what really happened at Abuela’s wedding and the history of the veil
Most Beautiful – all three generations of Villanueva women walking down the aisle
Most Adorable Pair – Rogelio and Mateo wearing matching t-shirts
Best Timing – Mateo takes his first steps just in time to walk down the aisle
Best Multitasker – Jane doing an oral presentation for her new thesis topic on the way to the wedding
Best Advice (Surprisingly) – Luisa tells Rafael to keep quiet about his feelings and let Jane go
Most Surprising – Susanna has been Rose in disguise all along
Least Surprising – Xo is pregnant
Worst Way to Get Busted – having a sex basket delivered
Best Resurrection – Rose/Sin Rostro
The “Worst Rehearsal” Award – the Bride and Groom are fighting, Parents of the Bride are fighting, and Mateo starts a chain reaction that leads to the priest getting knocked out

Best Quotes:
1. Jane: “You two are not fighting the night before my wedding. After my wedding, you two can kill each other but before my wedding, everyone gets along. Got it?”
2. Rogelio: “Jane, please stop running, your makeup will melt. Let me carry you.” Jane: “No way, then your makeup will melt.” Rogelio: “You’re right. We’ll reapply when we get there.”
3. Anezka (to Petra): “Her first laugh! Baby has your sense of humor. Laughing at others' tears.”



Nashville - 4.20 - It’s Sure Gonna Hurt
BY Jessica VanWinkle

Let me just start off this review by saying how sad I am that there’s only one more episode of Nashville (Editor's note - I am so sorry for you and the other fans. ~Dahne). I know that people have said this show ends on a cliffhanger (which I hope that rumor is wrong), but this episode felt like stories were wrapping up. We had flashbacks of Scarlett and Gunnar, and we had a recap of Rayna and Deacon’s love story through their therapy session. I like that Rayna and Deacon are trying to work through their problems, and they better get their happy ending. I did not spend four years of my life watching this show for them not be together. Juliette also broke up with Noah, but I don’t know if she will end up with Avery. It seems too soon. As long as she is happy, I’ll be content. Nashville started out focusing on the journey of Juliette and Rayna so I just hope the writers give them a proper ending. And I so hope that Scarlett and Gunnar end up together because I would throw up if the show ended with Gunnar and Autumn as a couple. Elsewhere, Luke and his son had a nice talk, and they seem at peace with each other. I’ve really enjoyed Luke’s story this season with him fighting for Will. He’s definitely come a long way! I sincerely hope that whatever happens next week, Nashville viewers will be satisfied.

Grade: B
Status - cancelled, sorry fans

Best Scene- Scarlett is photographed as she listens to her music and remembers her life with Gunnar. Clare Bowen was brilliant. Very powerful and heartbreaking.
Best Reason to Watch- Recapping Rayna and Deacon’s love story and seeing flashbacks of Gunnar and Scarlett together.
Best Guest Star- Elton John! I was impressed that Nashville convinced him to come on the show!
Most Improved- Luke Wheeler. I think almost everyone disliked him when he came to town. Now he’s one of the good guys.
Not Missed- Maddie. Didn’t miss her at all. The only good thing about the show ending next week is that I will never have to see that brat ever again.



Outlander - 2.05 - Untimely Resurrection
BY Swanpride 

I don't get why the show keeps insisting on adding unnecessary drama where none is needed, especially since it undermines Claire's character at every turn. Her seriously considering to allow Alex Randall to rot in prison and then breaking up him and Mary makes her look like quite a b... and has nothing to do with the woman full of principles I like so much. I wanted to throw up watching her do it, especially when Alex called her a good friend to Mary, after she does everything in her power to ensure that she will marry a sadist down the line. In addition, it also undermines everything the book did by showing that Alex and Mary had no chance to find happiness because of the class differences between them. On the upside, though, I really liked that it spent some time on Jamie's and Murtagh's reaction to what happened in the alley. And throwing the King of France into the encounter of Jamie and Jonathan Randall turned out to be quite a genius stroke. The whole situation was hilarious (well, I get some pleasure out of seeing Black Jack Randall humiliated for a change) and tense at once.

Grade: B
Status - unknown by Starz but promising

Best Reason to Watch - The plot is thickening
Best Scene - Versaille
Best Character - Duvernay, though having only a brief appearance, managed to really shine in this tense episode
Best Visual - The camera moving through the chaos left after the dinner party
Best Costume - Jamie wearing a kilt combined with a French court dress.
Best Music - They really know how to set the mood for Versailles
Most Cruel - Claire when she destroys Mary's and Alex's future
Most Useless - More or less the whole dialogue with Annalise

Best Quote:
1. Duvernay: "He is an utter a**."
2. Duvernay: "But I wonder that someone who is such a good judge of horse flesh is such a poor judge of men."
3. Claire: "One year, after that I swear I will help you bleed him myself."



Outlander - 2.06 - Best Laid Schemes...
BY Swanpride 

I sometimes wonder how the show manages to pluck out scenes from the book without understanding their meaning. For example, the scene in which the proper way to conduct an execution is described happens in the book, but there it serves as a warning to Jamie, not to Monsieur Raymond. But I guess in this case it doesn't really make a difference. All in all, the show is back on track. Not by following the book (quite in opposite in fact) but this time around it feels like the changes serve the story by inserting a little bit more adventure into it and allowing certain events to happen in a more orderly fashion. But then, again, it bothers me that Claire doesn't really come off that well in the end. It seems like her careless behaviour is partly responsible for her starting to bleed, when originally her pregnancy wasn't going as smoothly as it should from the get go. This doesn't really set well with me, because it carries some unfortunate implications in it. Hopefully they will handle it well next week.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - Swashbuckling all around!
Best Scene - The duel
Least "Bonnie" - Prince Charles, who is quite a whiner
Best Costume - Randall during the duel. Beige is the perfect colour to show off some bleeding.
Best Reaction - Murtagh when Jamie explains the truth to him
Most Over the Top - The reaction of the ladies to Claire mentioning the poor of the city.
Biggest Cutie - Fergus in his devotion to Jamie

Best Quote:
1. Murtagh: "Masquerades and Games. What's next? A rousing game of Charades?"
2. Charles: "Mark me, I will take my own life if I am forced to life in godforsaken Poland."



New Shows



Houdini & Doyle (1.01 - 1.03)

Confession - I actually marathoned all 10 episodes of season 1 but since this time between the regular season and the full start of the summer season is so slow, I have decided to run this like Motive and do it weekly by when it is airing in America. Plus, overall I like this series enough to rewatch it. That being said, it does start a little rough for one reason - Houdini. I am not sure if they wanted to make the point that Brits are awesome while Americans suck or if Houdini really was a world class douche to everyone except his mother, but whatever it is, Houdini starts off as almost a deal breaker for me. If I hadn't been marathoning the show, I'm not sure I would have gotten past the first 2 episodes. There's also the problem of the 2 leads arguing non-stop with each other. Have faith though, as the show goes on Houdini gets better, if not less abrasive, and the relationship between Houdini and Doyle, while still argumentative, also develops into a bromance that is endearing.

Each case opens with an element of the supernatural so in some ways this is a British version of The X-Files. Doyle is Mulder, the believer whose personal life has left him open to the paranormal. Houdini is Scully. They are joined by the first female detective at Scotland Yard, Adelaide Stratton. The three work cases together to the protest of…well, everyone else at Scotland Yard. Her co-workers are not fond of having a female in the workforce, they hate Doyle for making the police look like fools in his Sherlock novels, and well, I've already explained about Houdini. They are overruled though because Houdini has connections in high places. The trio's combined skills work well together and anyone who liked season 1 of Agent Carter should try it. Although they do not kick butt like her, they do show the same smarts and it does confront head on the problems women faced when joining a primarily male workforce.

Grade: B / B- / B
Status: unknown by ITV or FOX
Ranking: already watched first season
Audience - anyone who likes mysteries, history, or Agent Carter-like smarts in the face of persecution

Best Reason to Watch - the combination of each person's skills to solve crimes
Best Scene - Touie wakes up
Best Relationship - Houdini and his mother
Best Character Interaction - Touie and Doyle
Best Save - Stratton, who saves both Houdini and Doyle from a watery grave
Best Nod to the Past - Houdini and Doyle both brag about their cars' speed, which is 15 and 14 miles per hour respectively
Best Line That Got Cut Out - Houdini: "Well she could have been faking her illness to get away from your long-winded speeches."
Best Twist - Lucy is Sister Grace's daughter
Best Point - Houdini raises a good point about population and reincarnation although disrespectfully
Most Poignant Subplot - Doyle's wife
Most Annoying / Biggest Douche - Houdini
Least Likely to Keep a Secret - Kingsley
Least Likely to Help Do Any of the Work - Houdini
Biggest Ewww - the bug coming out of the dead guy / boils
Biggest Aww Moment - Doyle goes in for a date with his wife only to learn she's slipped back into the coma
Biggest Hmm - American audiences are missing chunks of this show, I'm guessing because in England they don't have as many annoying commercials. Either that or the uberannoying Fox streaming platform is even worse. Why did they have to cut parts of the Doyle and Touie scenes in 1.03? They were the best parts of the episode.
Biggest Problem - the constant bickering between Houdini and Doyle
Biggest Hmm - I thought Houdini was a believer in the supernatural before his mother died and only started a crusade against false mediums after that. I'm going to have to do some research.
The "Poor Baby" Award - the Doyle family loses Touie again
The "Turnabout's Fair Play" Award - Houdini slaps Doyle awake and then Doyle returns the favor

Best Quote -
1. Doyle: "Maybe she was just trying to shut you up." Houdini: "That's a pretty big lie." Doyle: "Shutting you up is a pretty big task."
2. Touie: "What is it?" Doyle: "I gave up on you." Touie: "It was precisely your faith that brought me back. You've nothing to feel guilty about…unless you've taken up with Vera." Doyle: "I do like her plum pudding."
3. Houdini: "Maybe he didn't mean it literally." Doyle: "A 10-year-old who speaks in metaphors." Houdini: "So he was a professor of literature in his past life."
4. Doyle: "It seems to me the title of world's greatest escape artist is a bit oversold." Houdini: "And you could have deduced that we were walking into a trap."
5. Stratton: "Do you know this might be some kind of bet for you, but for me, this is my life. You saw those hopeless girls in the laundry. Do you know how many women live in fear of that fate? This is not just a job for me, it's…this is a hope that we can avoid not only those laundries but something almost as bad, a life of pretty dresses and condescension."
6. Doyle: "Wonderful to see you again." Houdini: "I love you Brits. The way you lie in the name of politeness is so charming."



Weekly Shows




The 100 (3.13-3.15)

The 100 was all over the place for me in these last three episodes. I'm not too crazy about Polis being turned into Alie Central and so quickly. I'm even less of a fan of the apparent crawl Kane, Pike, and the grounders were going at to arrive at Polis after Jaha's army. It was a wasted opportunity when we did not see Kane and Jaha in a battle over Polis. I did love the flashbacks though and everything Kane. He rocked the episode. I also loved the ending on the oil rig. The biggest difference between most of the fandom and me for 3.13 though is how much I hated the schmaltzy, trite, and downright eye-rolling dialogue that was Clarke and Bellamy excusing each other of being hypocritical mass murderers. Ugh to infinity! As for 3.14, that was the worst one for me mostly because I loathed everything Clarke. She thinks she knows best for everyone and is so tunnel visioned that she ends up getting people killed. Luna rocked but for her sake I hope she stays as far away from Clarke as possible. She truly is the commander of death. Every freaking peaceful person she comes in contact with dies in some way because of her. It's old and so is her hypocrisy. A high point was Monty in the episode though. How heartbreaking to see him have to kill his mom again. That's twice more than any kid should have to. Thankfully, the penultimate episode brought back feelings of the previous seasons. The pacing was spot on and the episode was so chock full of action that there wasn't time for long-winded speeches and drippy "I forgive you" moments. Indra and Raven were the standouts in this episode with both being the voice of common sense in their situations. Jasper being chipped is the best thing that could have happened to him too. I love how cold and calculated he was. It's a big improvement over whiny and emoangsty. He can still die though. In fact, I expect them to keep cleaning up house in the finale with at least one major character dying. I'll be shocked if they don't. That being said, could we finally make it a character I want to die? I liked Roan and thought he had a lot of story left. Here's hoping that he survived, although I doubt it. I am glad that Abby made it though. Her scenes were doubly disconcerting and a testament to how dark this show gets. Watching her torture her daughter and then voluntarily hanging herself was as disturbing as Charlotte murdering Wade way back in episode 3. Absolutely chilling! Here's hoping that Indra and Kane made it too. Indra has quickly become one of my favorite characters and watching her save Kane instead of getting herself to safety, even though she knows Kane is chipped and will likely kill her if Alie says so, is one of my favorite moments of the whole series. While I am looking forward to the finale now that action is back on the table and the showdown with Alie is set, I have to admit that I am looking forward to season 4 more. Let's hope they fix the issues of this season and return the show to its former glory.

Grade: B- / C- / B+
Status - renewed for season 4 by The CW, airs midseason

Best Reason to Watch - the action and pacing
Best Scene - Monty deletes his mom's code
Best Save - shockingly that's Murphy, who has definitely gotten his redemption arc
Best Twist - Jasper has the chip
Best Character - Raven
Best Moment - Indra protects an unconscious Kane
Best Place to Hideout - an oil rig
Best Continuity - playing Radioactive by Imagine Dragons, just a different version
Biggest Huh? - So Pike and Kane arrive at Polis after Alie's zombies even thought they left days earlier?
Biggest Rip Off - the flashback to the Ark would have been a great time for a cameo of Finn and some other dead favorites - plus there is a slight canon issue with Octavia being there
Most Intriguing - Luna and her stance against killing
Most Intense - Abby tortures Clarke / Abby goes to hang herself so Clarke will talk
Most Pointless - Why in the world would they torture Clarke instead of just force feeding her the chip? That would be faster and more reliable.
Most Kick Butt - Luna
Most Interesting Twist - Monty's mom in the computer
Most Tunnel Vision - Clarke, who puts a peaceful society at risk because she always thinks she knows best
Most Likely to Shoot First and Ask Questions Never - Bellamy
Dumbest Plan - Monty asks if Harper sees Jasper instead of warns her that he's chipped
The "Pretty Please" Award - Octavia, would you kindly push Pike down the elevator shaft for me? You know you want to.
The "You Still Suck" Award - Love how you partially blame Lincoln's death on Octavia now, Bellamy. Go away.
The "Just Die Already" Award - Pike
The "23rd Verse, Same as the First" Award - They keep killing off the best characters. Let's hope Roan is still alive, but it wouldn't surprise me if he too is gone.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Indra, Kane, and Roan

Best Quotes -
1. Octavia: "Why are you looking at me like that?" Indra: "Because I know what you're thinking." Octavia: "Why is he still alive?" Indra: "Because the dead can't help us." Octavia: "He was my home." Indra: "Your home is here."
2. Luna: "I didn't flee the conclave because I was afraid I would lose. I fled because I knew I would win."
3. Murphy: "Up the tower, right. You know after this, doing the right thing can kiss my a**."
4. Murphy: "We just saved your lives. Why do I think I'm going to regret that?"



The 100 - 3.16 - Perverse Instantiation (Part 2)

There was a lot to like about this season finale, the biggest being Lexa's entrance. Raven continued to rock as well and the fight scenes were all tight. However the pacing was all over the place, especially the endless scene in the faux Ark with Becca and Alie trying to convince Clarke to do things their way. It would have made for a tighter episode to have cut down the wait time and have Clarke struggle more to get to the kill switch. I'm not sure why Clarke must have an eternal internal struggle every single season finale, most of which drag down the pacing. Another puzzling thing was why so very few people died in this episode. Really only Pike died and while I am ecstatic for that, I was shocked that they did not use this opportunity to clean house. I am though very pleased that Kane made it to another season. I worry all the time that he's going to bite it next. Mostly because I really like this character and those are always the first to go it seems. All in all, I am disappointed in this season and The 100 will most likely receive my Biggest Fall award for 2015-2016, in part because of the high expectations I had for it after season 2 and the dismal storytelling that was the first half. Still every show has its bad season, many of which recover nicely. I will wait until season 4 to see if this was a fluke due to taking chances (an admirable thing) or if it's time to pull the plug.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - Alie and Pike are finally gone
Best Scene - Clarke gets the chip out of Abby and they reunite
Best Action - fight in the throne room
Best Entrance / Best Skills / Best Return - Lexa. Let's just say that Lexa is awesome in every form - warrior, leader, download.
Best Game - follow the infinity symbol
Best News - Indra's alive
Best Plan - electrocuting Kane, Emori, and the other Alie zombies
Worst Plan - Octavia lets the Alie zombies in so they can kill Pike
Biggest Ewww - open heart massage
Least Surprising - Super Special Snowflake Clarke becomes even more super special
Most Surprising - the only person who died in the finale was Pike (plus Ontari technically and Alie)
Most Practical - Harper
Most Likely to Try My Patience - Clarke as she waits to pull the kill switch so Alie and Becca can debate. Just do it already!
The "Good Riddance" Award - Octavia kills Pike
The "Rising Star" Award - Harper has gone from face in the crowd to one of my favorites. I like her no-nonsense approach and the fact that she's no damsel in distress. No more sex scenes but more time for Harper please. I'd love to get some back story.
The "Time's A-Wasting" Award - Dear Lexa and Clarke, you don't have time to be hugging on each other. Find the freaking kill switch. Take down Alie. Be awesome. There's no time for heartfelt speeches or emoangsting moments.

Best Quotes -
1. Monty: "Jasper, I know this world can suck but at least its real. We can get through this together." Jasper: "You really believe that?" Monty: "We will be happy again. I promise."
2. Clarke: "Human beings have free will. We get to decide how we should live." Jasper: "Human beings are the only species that act against our own self-interest. We torture each other. We fight, hurt each other, break each other's hearts. None of that exists here. Alie is protecting us from ourselves."
3. Monty: "What happens if Alie is updated?" Raven: "She'll delete the kill switch. We won't be able to stop her." Harper: "So find the damn kill switch."
4. Alie: "Would you really condemn the human race to die in 6 months?" Clarke: "We'll figure something out. We always do."
5. Lexa: "Our fight is not over."



Crowded (1.09 -1.12)
~I just can't with Stella. She's too dumb to know how to breath. They need to make her competent at something beyond taking her clothes off and hooking up with drug dealers and musicians. She has no moral compass and no brains. That's a lousy combination. Good thing I am adoring everything between Mike and his dad. I even liked Bob and Martina in episode 1.11.
~Let's just say that episode 1.12 was not my kind of humor. Plus I'm not sure how family fun night ends up in a gay strip bar with your mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa.

Grade: C / B / B- / C
Status: Cancelled, and I'm okay with that

Best Reason to Watch - Mike this time
Best Scene - any time Bob and Mike are in the helicopter
Best Threat - Mike and Martina threaten to cyberstalk Stella to keep her from internet porn
Best Interaction - Martina and Bob
Best Point - Stella finds Pepe Le Pew a bit rape-y and it's hard to argue with that
Best Reference - Frasier / Downton Abbey
Worst Reference - Notting Hill, that quote was ugh-worthy even when it was new
Worst Slogan Ever - "It was fresh when we made it."
Worst Plan - Selling private online chats to make rent money. I'm fairly certain Criminal Minds or some other show where people wind up tortured and murdered already covered this.
Most Chill about Everything - Alice, as in "on medication" type mellow
Most Mercurial Rise - Shea, who actually makes a tough business negotiator
Most Embarrassing - Alice gives Ethan money at his strip club job
Biggest Blabbermouth - Martina
Biggest Huh? - Why is everyone okay with Stella being a drug dealer? Seriously?
Biggest Face Palm - Why is it a question about whether having sex with your uncle is creepy or not? I don't care if it's by marriage instead of blood. YES! It is creepy.
Biggest Laugh - Mike's uncomfortable talk about Viagra with his dad
Weirdest Family Reunion - at the strip club

Best Quotes -
1. Mike: "Well I want to talk about something, something that I'm not comfortable talking about on earth. Plus this way, if it gets really awkward I can crash into some rocks and kill us both."
2. Mike: "And what is this one?" Stella: "It's Viagra. Way to act like you didn't know, dad." Mike: "You dating some super old guy? And if you are, can he marry you and pay your bills?"
3. Mike: "Look Stella, I don't love either one of you best but I did love you first, and don't tell your sister but that will always make you special." Stella: "Awww, dad."
4. Ethan: "Wow, going from a professional golfer to a French fry cook. That's a pretty steep drop off. On the plus side, I'd be making an income. On the minus side, those fries would be salted with my tears."
5. Mike: "Whoa, whoa, back up. What were you doing in a gay strip club?" Martina: "They invited me." Shea: "Yeah, she's our friend." Mike: "Not sure I approve of your friends."
6. Mike: "On the other hand, I don't want him to like me just because I have sex with women." Martina: "Women?" Mike: "Well you specifically and other women if you run off with that stripper." Martina: "I think he's a little young." Mike: "That's what's holding you back? Okay. I will talk to dad and if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go do a thousand sit-ups, which I can totally do."



Elementary - 4.24 - A Difference in Kind

Besides bringing Moriarty back, there's no better move Elementary could have made than hiring John Noble to play Sherlock's father. Not only is the man perfect for the role, but he can sell every aspect of the character, turning what could have been a complete douche of a character into one of the most complex roles on TV this year. I am sorry to see him go but I love that the prospect of him returning is always there. They had better not kill him off screen or I'm coming after someone. Not even kidding. What I love most about this episode besides all the great scenes with Sherlock and Morland is the fantastic twist of having Morland become the head of the evil empire. It continues to make him a thoroughly gray, morally ambiguous character. Is he really doing it to save Sherlock? Is it revenge on the people who killed his lover? Will he find a way to profit off their collapse? Will he stay alive and return next season? Who knows but I'm fascinated with this character and I want to find out. I do wish that Sherlock and he had parted on better terms though, but that is the way of the Holmes men. I felt the same thing with Mycroft. Sherlock can never unbend and Morland shows that he earned that trait naturally. While this finale was a little too light on Joan and bringing up her annoying sister was like a bucket of ice thrown on the ending (please just say no to a relationship between her and Bell), this was a great way to end a reinvigorated season. I love how they do not end on a cliffhanger. I was frantic that Morland was going to be missing at the end and then I would have to fret about him over the summer. Instead, they made him even more compelling than he already was. I want a spin-off to follow him in his pursuits.

Grade: A-
Status: Renewed, airing on CBS on Sunday nights

Best Reason to Watch / MVP - John Noble
Best Scene - John Noble, er, Morland tells Sherlock that he is to become Head Evil Mastermind
Best Reaction - Sherlock to Watson trying to set up Bell with her sister
Best Back Story - Vikner saw Morland as a threat to his rise to power and tried to have him killed
Best Point - the internet is often dead wrong (sorry about the pun)
Best Save - Morland's spy, who confronts the bomber at Sherlock's place
Best Compliment - Sherlock tells Morland he would have been a failure at being an evil mastermind
Worst Plan (at first) - framing Vikner for murder
Worst Plan Ever - Morland giving himself to the group to save Sherlock
Most Dysfunctional - the entire Holmes clan and not in a fun way
Most Surprising - Watson is completely fine with framing Vikner for murder
Most Annoying - the overconfident villain spiel that is so cliché it's nap-inducing

Best Quotes -
1. Watson (looking at the dismantled bomb still in the brownstone): "You know I'd really like to get rid of that." Sherlock: "I promise I'll clean my room as soon as I've done my homework."
2. Watson: "Do you think Morland would have said yes to the offer to take over the group?" Sherlock: "No, there's no denying that over his long and storied career my father has facilitated business deals where death was the likely outcome for someone somewhere, but Vikner and his people, they pursue death as a business deal. It's a difference of kind, not of degree. It makes the murder of Sabine Raoul all the more pointless. My father was never a threat to Vikner's ascendency."
3. Watson: "We should ask Marcus to join too." Sherlock: "What does he know about real estate?" Watson: "Probably nothing but he's single and so is Lynn." Sherlock: "And to think that my father thought that I was the greatest threat to our circle of friends."
4. Morland: "Actually Ms. Hashemi is not taking Vikner's place. I am." Sherlock: "What?" Morland: "Her idea. Vikner goes away and she gets what she's wanted for several years, a steadier hand at the wheel of the group." Sherlock: "You know you haven't told a joke in the 4 decades I've known you. Better late than never I suppose." Morland: "I did it for you, Sherlock. You and Joan. It was the only way to guarantee they'd never harm you." Sherlock: "There's a rule in place established by the group's founder." Morland: "It didn't stop a bomb from appearing at your house the other night, did it? I told you. I will not lose my son." Sherlock: "So your only recourse is to become head of an organization which murders for profit?" Morland: "How else would I dismantle it? Ms. Hashemi was right. The group is virtually impervious to threats from the outside but a threat from the inside on the other hand…" Sherlock: "What you're describing would be suicide." Morland: "I shall be returning to London this evening. The group will no longer have a presence in New York. You have my word."
5. Sherlock: "Despite the plots of the many movies that you tell me are good which are in fact not good, bomb makers don't build tests of electrical engineering skill. They build things that go bang. The simpler the device the more likely it is to explode."
6. Sherlock: "Our plan's not what's troubling you though, is it?" Morland: "It's really something, realizing that you are for all appearances the kind of man who would accept a leadership position in a group like that. I've always blamed myself for what happened to Sabine. I was sure that I'd done something to upset a competitor, or acted too aggressively in a negotiation, angered the wrong dictator or CEO. I'd stay up at night struggling to put a finger on it. To figure out exactly what I had done wrong." Sherlock: "Alas, it wasn't one thing, was it? It was everything, your life's work. You would have been a spectacular failure, by the way. You don't have the stuff to be an evil mastermind."



The Flash - 2.19 - Back to Normal

I am a big fan of Barry trying to save the world even without his powers. I would expect nothing less from him. It also allows them to work together well as a team to come up with alternate solutions. In some ways, I would like for Barry not to get his powers back for a little while longer but with Zoom coming back that is impossible. It's time to kill off Zoom for good and move to a new storyline. He was interesting while he lasted, and I like Jay a whole lot better this way, but Earth 2 needs to leave the story ark. So does Jesse. She continues to be the most annoying character in Central City.

Grade: B+
Status: Renewed, airing on The CW on Tuesdays

Best Reason to Watch - interesting to watch Barry be a hero in a totally human way
Best Acting - Tom Cavanagh for basically the entire season
Best Scene - Wells says that he's going to give Barry back his speed through another explosion
Best Improvement - Jay, who is a whole lot more fun as an insane killer
Best Return - Killer Frost
Worst Return - the always bratty Jesse, who needs to be sucked into another dimension all together
Worst Side Effect - rapid aging because of the particle accelerator
Most Twisted - Hunter, wanting Caitlin to go all Stockholm Syndrome
Biggest Hmm Award - Since when is rapid aging a side effect of metahumans and why only this guy? Shouldn't they all have some side effects and not just some?
The "Crazy Person Say What?" Award - Um, didn't we already see what kind of chaos one particle acceleration explosion caused? Why are we replicating that? At least this time make it smaller and come up with a far better protection system.
The "When You're Right, You're Right" Award - Wells is well within his rights to give a great big "I told you so," to all of these fools. They were ALL incredibly reckless and stupid last episode. You don't get bonus points for intentions.

Best Quotes -
1. Wells: "That's right, detective. We're all suffering. We've lost Snow, you've lost your speed, and now…now Zoom could come through that breach anytime he wants and that Allen…that's on you." Iris: "Hey, that's on all of us, okay? We made these decisions as a team." Wells: "No, we didn't."
2. Wells: "When your mother died, honey, something inside me broke. I couldn't protect her and I…I swore - I swore on her grave no less - that I would protect you and then Zoom took you and I snapped. I just snapped. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't lose the only other person that I love."
3. Barry: "I just don't even know who I am any more or who I am supposed to be." Iris: "Barry, you're supposed to be the same guy that you've always been. Suit or no suit, that guy is a hero."
4. Wally: "I just wanted to thank you for saving my life and I know that…that came at a huge price for you and I don't know how I'll ever repay that. I guess what I wanted to say was that I'm not going to waste this chance that you've given me. Thank you."
5. Barry: "Look we can't just sit here. Regardless of whether I have my speed or not, I have to try to help. That's never gonna change."



The Flash (2.20 - 2.22)
~Dear Zoom, please die. Thanks!
~Dear Anvils, I am so happy you have been gainfully employed by The Flash. I hope you're getting paid for all that overtime. However, could you please stop falling on my head? You're giving me a headache.
~Dear Wells and Cisco, you really need to take this act on the road over hiatus. You two are hilarious in an Odd Couple-way, and by that I mean the play. Not whatever's happening over on CBS.
~Dear Barry, sniff, sniff. I feel for you, baby. The universe hates you. Season 1 was your mom; season 2 is your dad. If they kill Joe in season 3, I'm calling it in for a timeout and I will be using my Teacher Glare of Death. Believe me, that's a super power too.

Grade: B / C- for boredom / B+
Status: Renewed for season 3, Tuesdays on The CW

Best Reason to Watch - the ending and the family feel of the team
Best Awww Scene - Cisco hugs his brother. Sniff, sniff / Barry and FauxMama read his favorite childhood book / Cisco reassures Caitlin
Best Character Interaction - This was a tough one because there were a lot of great interactions. In the end though, the comedic partnership of Cisco and Wells had me laughing through the emoangst and that's always a win. / In 2.22, Caitlin and Cisco
Best Pep Talk - Joe to Wells / Henry to Barry / Iris to Barry about fear
Best Reference - Fringe
Best Save - Wally with The Flash / Wells with his daughter
Best Meta - Cisco references zombies when Girder returns, who is played by an actor who just got turned into a zombie and died on iZombie. Sniff, sniff. Still miss you, Drake (both roles).
Best Reaction - Joe to Wells' long-winded explanation on the science behind their plan
Best Defensive Driving - Cisco, who runs over the reaper
Worst Recruitment Speech - Zoom, who tries to seduce Caitlin to the Dark Side with his Emperor Palpatine speech
Worst Place to Visit - Central City, which is now under siege by metahumans
Worst Luck - every season Iris loses a lover (at least for a bit)
Worst Timing / Biggest Snore - Iris talks about her feelings
Biggest Snicker - metapocalypse, ha!
Biggest Pseudo High - Barry is having a speed force contact high and it's turning him into the peppiest cheerleader in Texas. There's peppy and then there's crazy.
Biggest Hint? - Are Zoom and Barry related?
Biggest Huh? - Since when did The Walking Dead zombies become smart? Last I saw them they were pretty much just grunting and taking people down through numbers. No intelligence required.
Least Surprising - Jay kills Henry
Most Hallmark-tastic - Barry chats with his FauxMama
Most Kick Butt - Black Siren, whose outfit rocks almost as much as her attitude
Most Cheesy - pick anytime the music soars in 2.21 and you'll be covered in Cheez-Whiz
Most Missed - Dumbledore. With all those Harry Potter references floating around, I thought for sure Harry…er, Barry would get his train station moment. The speed force doesn't quite cut it. Instead we got "Use the force, Philosophical Barry." Hhhhhh.
Most Incongruous - the title opening with the fact that Barry lost his speed
Most Boring Subplot - Barry's trippy, metaphysical journey
The "Great Big Hero" Award - Barry
The "Time to Go" Award - Zoom, who has outlived his welcome…and Jay, who was unwelcome from the moment he arrived
The "Way to Channel Your Inner Roy Harper" Award - Wally is trying to be a hero. Sadly, this means his inner meta is coming sooner rather than later. I can just feel it.
The "Sucks To Be You" Award - Barry, whose skin peels off in the particle accelerator plan. By the way, you know who else it sucked to be? Me, watching his skin flake off.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Greg Finley, who is becoming my favorite all-around CW guest star. I think he'd make a great grounder on The 100 next. / Katie Cassidy from Arrow, Supernatural, and Melrose Place

Best Quotes -
1. Wells: "Well Ramon, you have the wand?" Cisco: "The one I made for Mark Martin?" Wells: "No, the one you built for the Harry Potter convention. Yes, of course, the one you built for Martin." Cisco: "How'd you know about that Harry Potter convention?"
2. Cisco: "Fake Wells might have done a few dissections for study purposes." Iris: "And this didn't tip any of you off that he might be secretly evil?" Cisco: "It was a crazy time, okay? We had a lot going on."
3. Iris: "You know you're not invincible, right?" Barry: "Yes, of course. I know this. Joe's being overprotective, but I get it." Iris: "Yeah but it's like you think that nothing can touch you, like nothing bad can get in your way. That's not true for any of us." Barry: "What are you saying?" Iris: "Look, I know that you had an experience in the speed force and I'm happy that you think that we're going to win the day, but I think a little fear can be a healthy thing. It helps you determine which risks are worth taking. I think that's something for both you and Wally to take to heart."
4. Reaper: "You killed my brother so now you die." Cisco: "OMG, you're Princess Bride-ing me right now."
5. Cisco: "I'm so glad you're back…because we're about to die." Barry: "Wait, what?" Cisco: "So…" Cisco and Wells: "Girder…" Cisco: "..came back to life and he's all Young Frankenstein now and he only recognizes Iris and she lured him to my workshop so we could de-magnetize him but the machine shorted out. So he's about to come through that door and smoosh us all into chunky salsa and possibly eat our brains. I don't know. Jury's still out on that one."
6. Dante: "I knew there was something wrong. Every time I see you we get attacked by lunatics with crazy weapons."



Fresh Off the Boat (2.20 - 2.23)
~About 2.20, I am not a fan of shows breaking their own canon so this is not a favorite for me. I did love Grandma Huang in this episode and I liked the flashbacks up until they broke canon.
~FotB continues to be a solid comedy player. Sadly, it will never win Constance Wu an Emmy even though she deserves it. Still, it brings the heart and the laughs in good measure. I especially like how they have developed Jessica and Honey's relationship this season. It has allowed Honey to be smart on some occasions, while allowing Jessica to fall but with support. They have one of my favorite sismances (womances) around. Eddie remains up and down though and continues to be the worst character. Emery has been the big improvement when it comes to the kids. While none of these episodes really stick out, the Rent Day episode about the property worked best for me. I wasn't as excited about Gotta Be Me because Eddie was a straight up brat (until he wasn't and made my favorite scene) and Louis seemed like a re-hash of other episodes. The Manchurian Dinner allowed for some good interactions though.

Grade: C / B / C+ / B-
Status: renewed for season 3, Tuesdays on ABC

Best Reason to Watch - characters, especially Jessica
Best Scene - Grandma tells Evan that who he is matters more than what he's called / Eddie understands that his acting like a brat ruins everyone's day
Best Cameo - Shaquille O'Neal
Best Pep Talk / Best Friend - Honey
Best Reaction - Jessica to Louis walking around shirtless, trying to be macho
Best Vocabulary - untenable
Best Entrance - Evan in his new suit
Best Speech - Emery
Best Moment - Jessica pulls the cop over
Best Life Coach - Jessica, who is like the drill sergeant of better life choices
Best Reference - Babe / Schindler's List
Worst Reference - Blockbuster late fees / Poison (the song, not the band)
Worst School Slogan - Don't Get Sick
Worst Principal - Emery's, who even in the 90's wouldn't be able to tell an entire auditorium of people that one kid is getting held back
Least Common Sense - having more than one valedictorian
Most Greedy - Jessica
Most Helpful - Grandma
Most Boring Game - the staring game
Most Easily Impressed - Jessica by LSAT scores and medical careers
Most Likely to Become Norman Bates - Evan, who sleeps with a picture of Jessica under his pillow
Most Perfect Match - Emery and Allison
Biggest Canon Busting - Didn't we already learn how Jessica and Louis met in the episode where Jessica's gay boyfriend came to visit? She liked him. Louis didn't notice her. That's canon.
Biggest Ewww - projectile vomiting repeatedly
Biggest Brat - Eddie
Biggest Oops - Jessica doesn't check the background of her new tenants out before she lets them move in?
Biggest Hmm - Milk to get out stubborn stains? Who knew?
The "Welcome Back" Award - Connie
The "Welcome Back" Award - Allison Scagliotti from Warehouse 13 and Stitchers / John Francis Daley from Bones / Patrick Fischler from LOST / Maria Bamford, the new comedy IT woman and from Benched

Best Quotes -
1. Eddie: "I guess she didn't understand we were dating." Allison: "How could she not understand?" Eddie: "I don't know. I said you were my boo, my fly girl, my fine shortie. I don't know how much clearer I could have been."
2. Jessica: "So they can just stay in my house, not pay rent, and I can't do anything about it. These people are not my mother-in-law."
3. Eddie: "But wait, you hate The Incredible Hulk." Louis: "No, I don't." Eddie: "Yeah you do. Remember I was trying to buy that comic book and you said he was the worst superhero ever because all he does is get mad. You said, 'That's not a super power . That's a character flaw.' "
4. Jessica: "Eddie, we had fun today because I didn't have to spend every minute chasing after you and nagging you. You think FunMom could get you to do your homework and clean your room. No way. That's what this mom is for. This mom gets things done."
5. Louis: "Puberty strikes hard and quick like a large soda halfway through Schindler's List."
6. Banker: "I'm calling to inform you that the check you just deposited bounced." Jessica: "What? I don't understand." Banker: "I know it's confusing. The word bounce seems so positive - like Tigger."



Hunters (1.03 - 1.06)
~This episode (1.03) did exactly what it needed to do. The first two episodes explore Flynn and set up the world. This one gives us much needed back story on Regan and fills in some of the holes like how she came to be at the ETU. It also gives a little explanation about Briggs, although I would expect a Briggs-centered episode down the line to fill in his character too. All in all, I am liking this show more every episode.
~This show has kept me intrigued by its fast moving plot and intricate story. I love the idea of an alien sleeper cell developing much like a terrorist one does. It provides good commentary about today's world while setting it in a more action-oriented sci-fi theme. Bonus - all the characters except Emme have grown on me.

Grade: overall B with B+ for 1.03
Status: unknown by SyFy

Best Reason to Watch - Regan flashbacks / engrossing alien sleeper cell storyline
Best Scene - Flynn questions Abby
Best Negotiator - Flynn, who knows how to play hardball
Best Moment - Flynn gets his wedding ring out of the garbage disposal
Best Action - Abby vs. Flynn
Best Back Story - how Abby and Flynn met and the fact that they always wanted him
Best Character Interactions - Regan and Jackson
Best Twist - they captured McCarthy
Worst Twist - Jackson as the mole, maybe
Worst Visual Effects - alien baby
Worst Interrogation Effects - yelling questions over and over again just getting longer
Worst Plan - doing electroshock therapy on yourself
Biggest Ewww - the chick shedding her skin / alien birth
Biggest Brat - Emme, who really needs to go. Even if she is autistic, she is an utter annoyance.
Biggest Huh? - What was the purpose of Regan and the snake?
Biggest Lie - Regan says that the aliens in the jungle are NOT monsters. Are you kidding me? They are arming kids, kidnapping people, and ripping them apart. That's a monster in my book, no matter what planet you're from.
Biggest Return - InstaDawn, first seen on Supernatural and now appearing here
Most Intriguing Character - Jackson
Most Surprising - McCarthy kills his own child
Most Likely to End Up a Bad Guy - Finnerman, who makes one questionable decision after another
Least Surprising - Abby is an alien
Weirdest Scene Ever - AlienAbby dragging PopsicleAbby into the freezer and then taking her stuff
Worst Boss - Brother #4
The "Say What?" Award - Regan just shoots Mato? I sucks to be an informant for the ETU.

Best Quotes -
1. Jackson: "A tried and true method of raising funds. Girl Scouts have cookies. Terrorists have dope."
2. McCarthy: "I thought you'd be fatter." Jackson: "Sorry to disappoint you." McCarthy: "You're human. That's all you can do."
3. Regan: "Not bad for a guy who did his tours of duty in Kandahar." Flynn: "I'd take Afghanistan over this Fern Gully sh** any day." Regan: "Yeah, I hate this green stuff too." Flynn: "You're a vegetarian. Isn't this all just salad?"
4. Jackson: "Is that Romanian?" Jules: "You're good. I thought it was Polish." Jackson: "Romanian. Interesting." Jules: "Transylvania, Nadia Comaneci, and now the world's first alien mom. Hella random if you ask me."
5. Jackson: "You're looking well." Flynn: "Rough few days." Jackson : "Yeah, holed up alone drinking. How'd that work out for you?"
6. Briggs: "Alien junkie. It's like we captured a Corman movie."



Motive (3.05 - 3.07)
~These were fairly typical episodes of Motive. The guest stars were fantastic in 3.05 and included Jakes from Graceland as a manipulated lothario bank robber while Benny from Supernatural was more lethal and ruthless than any vampire ever to appear on SPN. Still I liked 3.06 better because that story worked more for me. I wanted to smack that stepdad, who had no understanding of how kids work and probably has some kind of mental disease that causes him to be a compulsive neatnik. I am not sure how the mom could marry someone who obviously hated her kid. It did make for good drama though. 3.07 was pretty much just run of the mill. It never surprises me how many times I feel sorry for the killers in this show though. Many of them got a raw deal before killing someone, and I don't mean the sociocultural type of raw deal. I mean their victims were often the ones who were psychotic or at the least, far worse than the killer ever could be.

Grade: B
Status: season 4 is already airing in Canada

Best Reason to Watch - the guest stars in 3.05 and the kid in 3.06
Best Emotional Scene - Angie hugs Betty after she freaks out while alone in the morgue
Best Karma - Lucas shoves the bad guy's head into the car
Best Partnership - Vega and Angie
Worst Plan - hanging up when you hear a strange noise / opening the door without seeing who it is first
Biggest Flirtation - Betty and Vega
Biggest Douche - the stepdad / Perry
Biggest Laugh - Vega eats the evidence
Biggest Trouper (Or Most in Denial) - Betty, who stays in the lab after getting attacked
Most Likely to Get Cited for Sexual Harassment - Betty
Most Old-Fashionably Charming - Giles, the jewelry buyer
Least Surprising - Chelsea is a stalker and delusional
Weirdest Subplot - Angie's desk issues
The "Don't Even Think About It" Award - This show thrives on the Vega and Angie relationship. Nothing better happen to stop that. Vega must stay healthy.
The "Who Knew?" Award - lobster digests within 30 minutes in the stomach
The "In the Name of Love" Award - Ella and Blair, who are seriously screwed up in their priorities but likely to be the subject of a tragic true crime romance novel
The "Welcome Back" Award - Brandon Jay McLaren from Graceland / Ty Olsson from Supernatural / Jesse Hutch from Arrow and Kyle XY / Meaghan Rath from Secrets and Lies & Being Human / Brendan Meyer from The 100 and iZombie / Leah Cairns from Kyle XY and Battlestar Galatica / Luisa D'Oliveira from The 100 / Ashton Holmes from Revenge / Patrick Sabongui from The Flash / Chris Klein from 90's to 00's movies / Karin Konoval from about every series shot in Canada

Best Quotes -
1. Vega: "Oh hey, look at you still here." Lucas: "Yeah, Friday night - we're livin' large." Angie: "You really got to work on your work-life balance, my friend." Lucas: "She does realize that she's here too right?"
2. Lucas: "You know that's evidence." Vega: "No, the packaging is evidence. The popcorn is delicious."
3. Angie: "So she was a perfectionist?" Theona: "That's not the word the staff used."
4. Vega: "So you went over to his loft to set him straight about etiquette." Herman: "What else was I supposed to do?" Angie: "Well almost anything other than assault." Vega: "Yeah, like you could have filed a complaint. You know, with the police for example." Herman: "No, Contagion has to remain anonymous." Angie: "Does he have to talk about himself in the third person?"
5. Angie: "True love." Vega: "Oh, it can't be. True love conquers all." Angie: "Seeing those two willing to do anything for each other doesn't do anything for you?" Vega: "Lie, steal, kill. That's love to you?"
6. Vega: "Right now I think the lobster's our best suspect."



Stitchers (2.06-2.09)

If we weren't hitting a TV lull, I probably would have put Stitchers on marathon later status a couple of weeks ago. The focus on will-they, won't they romance is flat out irritating and I'm not that into the search for Kirsten's dad . However, the standalone parts of the episode have been really good and have raised the episode grades. Mei Ling, in particular, gave the series a jolt of energy. I wish she had been on for more than 1 episode because I could see her as a great part of the team. Plus she added action to an episode that was heading straight to emoangsting. Red Eye was great because of the ingenious method of killing people and the twisty approach of multiple stitching. I'd like to see more stretching the bonds of science type stories and less clichéd romance in the future.

Grade: B / B / A- / B-
Status: Unknown by ABC Family, er Freeform (What a dumb name!)

Best Reason to Watch - Mei Ling / standalone crimes
Best Scene - Kirsten meets her sister for the first time
Best Action - Fisher and Mei Ling take down the killer together
Best Pep Talk - Fisher to Mei Ling
Best Moment - Fisher high fives Camille but won't high five Cameron
Best Move - Kirsten takes out the person holding her hostage by herself
Best Threat - Camille to the lawyer
Best Non-Girlfriend Ever - Camille, who encourages everyone in Linus' family before the surgery
Best Reference - Hunger Games / pseudo All About Eve
Best Case / Best Episode of the Four - Red Eye
Best Back Story - Cameron's dad is a white collar criminal in jail for embezzling
Best Plan - telling Kirsten the truth about Liam / Cameron making it a two memories for one stitch program
Worst Plan - letting strangers you don't know spend the night on your couch, for both sides of this scenario
Worst Use of Business Resources - Calling the Psychic Hotline 85 times. If they haven't helped you get out of the mailroom in the first 20 times, they might not be very good at their job either.
Biggest Huh? - I'm not sure I buy the idea of Kirsten understanding Chinese any more than Linus does
Most Awkward Interaction - Kirsten and Ivy
Most Interesting Premise - stitching into multiples at the same time
Most Awesome Gesture - Linus cooked for Camille thinking she'd be hungry when she studied
Most Awful People - the little lawyers
Most Kick Butt - Mei Ling for getting the jump on Fisher
Most Drawn Out - the storyline about Kirsten's dad
Most Creepy / Most Annoying Subplot - little Cameron in the stitches
Least Honed Fight or Flight Instincts - Ivy, who doesn’t immediately start making excuses to leave after seeing Kirsten's Wall of Crazy
The "Say What?" Award - Listen, I fully believe these lawyers are douche bags. No doubt about it. However they are not stupid. The team mentions that the victim was killed by a poisonous shrub in Christine's house. If Randall had ever been to Christine's house, he could have very easily have seen it and put two and two together. His mentioning oleander is not a smoking gun. Even if he hadn't been there, Camille already made a big deal about oleander being a shrub and it being very common in the area. It wouldn't have taken a brain trust to figure things out either way.
The "Please Come Back" Award - I think Mei Ling would be a great asset to the team
The "Goodbye" Award - So long, Liam. You were unnecessarily mysterious so I won't miss you or the answers you never provided.

Best Quotes -
1. Linus: "Caltech was cool with you borrowing these?" Camille: "If by borrowing you mean breaking into the lockers where they're kept and just shoving them into grocery bags before walking out, yeah, they're very cool."
2. Ivy: "It took me a long time to figure out but I think everything he's done is motivated by love." Kirsten: "Huh, abandoning us, murder. That's a crazy kind of love."
3. Cameron: "Should I be worried?" Camille: "No." Cameron: "How do you know?" Camille: "Because you're not dizzy or seeing yellow halos…" Linus: "Or dead."
4. Sam: "Did I leave anything out?" Maggie: "Yes, the part where you tell me if you killed Anna."
5. Ivy: "How about, moving forward, we both agree to not think the other's an idiot?"
6. Camille: "If you do not stop answering my questions with a question, I promise I will hack you and sext every judge in Los Angeles from your account."



Shows I'm Not Caught Up On Yet



The Blacklist (3.20 - 3.23)
~While I appreciate them giving the characters time to grieve Liz, it did make the pacing slower than normal and it's the second grieving episode in a row that was short on plot. Time to get back to the formula. (3.20)
~And we're back. I knew you could grieve Liz and still push the story forward. I am loving the twist about Tom's mother and Famke is as riveting as ever. Not at all okay that Solomon is still breathing. Tom needs to take a page out of Octavia's book on this one.

Grade: B- / B / B+
Status - Renewed by NBC on Thursdays

Best Reason to Watch - As much as I hate that the FBI are joining with people who kill and rob banks and hire Solomon the sociopath (what the heck!), it does make for good drama. To have to work next to someone you hate and who is responsible for a loved one's death automatically raises the stakes and the story tension. / the acting like always
Best Scene - Dom tells Red he has no sympathy for him because he blames Red for getting his whole family killed / Scottie's story to Tom about her son, even if it doesn't make a lick of sense that she'd tell it to him
Best Action - Navabi vs. the assassin
Best New Character - Dom / Scottie
Best Montage - Red searching through the trunk of memories
Best Customer Service - even though the bank is being robbed, these tellers and the manager are doing everything they can for this little girl
Best Negotiator - Scottie, who gets the kidnapper to pay her $3 million
Best Twist - Scottie is Tom's mom
Worst Plan (typical times) - Tom, you don't look suspicious AT ALL bringing what looks like a walkie talkie in the coffee shop. Anyone who watched CSI: Cyber would know something was up.
Worst Plan of All Time - joining with the people who helped kill Liz in order to bring in the man who hired her kidnapping
Biggest Huh? - Why is Scottie telling Tom her life story? Shouldn't she be playing things close to the vest?
Biggest Guts - Aram tells Reddington that he is there to collect Red's debt to him
Biggest Awww Scene - Harold's eulogy
Least Welcome - Red at Dom's place
Least Likely to be Ignored - Reddington
Least Surprising but Still Depressing - the kid gets shot
Most in Need of Dying - Solomon, like last season
Most Kick Butt Move - Tom shoots Solomon and leaves him at the scene of the crime - too bad he isn't captured or dead
Most Off the Rails (non-criminal edition) - Cooper
Most Off the Rails (criminal edition) - Reddington
Most Godparented Child Ever - Tom basically says every main character except Reddington should be Agnes' godparent
Strangest Pep Talk - Tom gives Aram romance advice
Strangest Quote - Romeo and Juliet
The "Fountain of Youth" Award - Famke Janssen must have found it because even though the ages technically work, she still looks too young to be the mother of Ryan Eggold
The "Welcome Back" Award - Brian Dennehy from the 80's, the 90's and Public Morals / Famke Janssen from X-Men and H2GAwM / Benito Martinez from Supernatural and H2GAwM

Best Quotes -
1. Tom: "Please tell me you know how to swaddle a baby." Navabi: "I hear bourbon works."
2. Tom: "You know Liz and I never really had a family until we met you guys. Albeit a slightly dysfunctional family, the kind where you try to kill each other occasionally, but…uh, family none the less."
3. Tom: "Shouldn't you find out a man's deep, dark secret before you invite him into your apartment?"
4. Dom: "I overheard your conversation with the Arab boy." Red: "He's from Delaware."
5. Scottie: "You, all of you, have proven quite capable of parking your selective morality when the moment serves. I suggest finding Elizabeth Keene's killer is just such a moment. It's badges in the drawer time, people. This is a revenge movie."
6. Reddington: "I have virtually unlimited resources. I want you to know that those resources are at your disposal in the raising of Agnes." Tom: "I don't want your money. I don't want your protection. I want answers."



Rush Hour - 1.05 - Assault on Precinct 7
~Between the twists and the action, this continues to be one of my favorite new shows. Just what I need, heading into the summer.

Grade: B
Status - cancelled, and it might be the worst cancellation of the season for me

Best Reason to Watch - the action and the sis twist
Best Scene - any of the action scenes fit so I'm going with the end with Kim to switch it up
Best Advice - Carter tells Lee not to cut him out because he can't handle the Kim situation on his own
Best Action - brother and sister fight / spa fight
Best Reason to Lock All the Doors - so some freaky ninja cop doesn't break into your place from the balcony
Best Banter - Carter and Lee
Best Way to Keep from Swearing - stuff something in your mouth
Best Reference - True Detective
Best Music - Right Round
Best Office Weapon - stapler / coffee pot
Biggest Twist - Zho Tu is the dragon's son / Kim is an agent for the FBI
Biggest Bwaaahh - DJ Fluffernutter
Biggest Ewww - close-up of someone getting his tooth knocked out
Strangest Way to Kill Someone - By snake bite. What is this? Ancient Egypt?
The "Way to Teen Wolf It" Award - one scene of pointless slow-mo coming right up
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - James Hing lately from Elementary / Diedrich Bader from The Drew Carey Show
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Kim

Best Quotes -
1. Donovan: "So my ex was right. I am going to die in a Korean spa." Carter: "Just keep a low profile. Try not to stand out." Donovan: "Yeah, good call. The 7 foot white guy, the black leprechaun, and Selena Gomez just need to keep a low profile as they cut through a pack of naked Chinese men."
2. Gerald: "You know what, I'm not even going to lie. Yes, I've returned to a life of crime." Carter: "Returned? When did you leave?" Gerald: "Tuesday. I had a whole bunch of stuff on my DVR I had to watch so it took me a couple days, but I'm watching the second season of True Detective and it is not as bad as everybody say."
3. Zhou: "I'm not afraid of you." Carter: "Oh I know. Fortunately I know what you are afraid of - extradition. There are 5 countries with outstanding warrants for your arrest. You know the penalty for human trafficking in Thailand?" Lee: "Why I think that would be death." Carter: "That's right and what about the Philippines?" Lee: "Death." Carter: "No kidding. Sudan?" Lee: "That would be death." Carter: "Bangladesh?" Lee: "Death." Carter: "Don't tell me - China…?" Lee: "You better believe it." Carter: "Death?" Lee: "With a capital D."
4. Donovan: "First time kicking a naked guy's a**." Didi: "Not even close."
5. Carter: "Deluxe relaxation package - spa, steam, locker to the head. Puts you right out."



Rush Hour - 1.06 / 1.07 - Welcome Back, Carter / Bada** Cop

What is it with networks showing episodes out of order these days? They did it with Almost Human and now they are doing it with Rush Hour too. There's no way 1.07 wasn't supposed to be earlier. Or maybe the episode where Lee joins Didi's family comes later. Either way, it's out of whack. Despite that inconsistency, these episodes were as fun as ever. I think they even doubled the snark in 1.07 and it's good to remember that Carter is less obnoxious in the other episodes. (Another reason why this has to be out of order, along with Lee's sister whom we already know is working undercover.) The 21 Jump Street thing of 1.06 has been done too often and the head gangster was far too dumb so that knocked the grade down a little for it, but 1.07 had me rolling with laughter and fist pumping the action. If I am rooting for a miracle save this season, it's for this show even though I know it's already dead. (Update - dead as a doornail)

Grade: B- / B+

Best Reason to Watch - the buddy-buddy vibe between Lee and Carter plus the humor
Best Scene - Carter says he'll try to be a little more like Lee in that he won't always go for the glory
Best Action - Lee uses the weights to fight / Didi takes down the thug informant / Lee and Carter vs. the motorcycle gang / drug lab fight
Best Deadpan - the motorcycle shop owner, ha!
Best Distraction - Carter and Lee bickering to throw off the bad guys
Worst Addition - the new coroner, Alice, who has Felicity disease
Most Likely to Have Your Back - Carter
Least Surprising - Lee is pretty awesome at salsa
Least Believable - Lee climbs up the crane in dress shows
Biggest Tough Guy - Lee, who wants to stitch up his knife wound with a stapler
Biggest Douche - Donovan
Biggest Party Pooper - Lee, who won't take credit even when credit is due
Biggest Face Palm - Gerald steals a phone in a police station
Biggest Huh? - Why do they need to invite Lee to dinner? Isn't he already living with Didi? Is this episode being aired out of order or did I miss something?
Funniest Fight - Carter vs. the old man
The "Welcome Back" Award - Deniz Akdeniz from Graceland / Connor Paolo from Revenge / William Mapother from LOST / JD Pardo from Revolution and The Messengers

Best Quotes -
1. Carter: "It's only because I showed up and kamikaze-d their plan. No offense." Lee: "Kamikaze is Japanese." Carter: "Fine, I ninja kicked their plan." Lee: "That's also Japanese."
2. Carter: "Separate a teenage girl from her phone for 60 seconds? You're not trained for that."
3. Lee: "I understand my methods may seem cold to you. As soon as I find my sister, I will go back to my jovial ways." Carter: "Somehow I think jovial means something different in Chinese."
4. Lee: "Carter, this is why you have to respect your elders." Carter: "You beat up an old man, Lee." Lee: "You got beat up by an old man, Carter." Carter: "Touché."
5. Henry: "So you understand what I did?" Carter: "Yeah, we do. You distributed a deadly drug, got people killed, and brought a cartel hit man into Capwell because you didn't have everything you wanted."



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted", Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
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