In an episode of surprises, we start before the episode even begins. Why hello Misha. Yes, I will stay tuned for Supernatural. I feel bad for people who watch Smallville and then don't stay for Supernatural. Before we begin, I am completely non-objective because I love this episode. It's my favorite this year. I can't believe there are people who didn't like it.
Previously - things sucked, both literally and metaphorically
We open from Sam-Thing's point-of-view and everything is blurry and confusing. Cas is poking him and asking weird questions. Dean is in intense interrogation mode. Sam-Thing is not feverish or speaking in tongues, but wait a minute, he's had no sleep for over a year. What! If I don't get 6 hours a night, people avoid me. Maybe Sam-Thing is just how sleep-deprived Sam acts. And here I was impressed by his all-nighter last week. Anyway, Dean is as shocked as I am and wavers between super-cool monster hunter and flabbergasted, concerned brother. Cas has a feeling and things get really awkward as he goes beltless. Cas proceeds to torture Sam-thing for the answers just like he did the kid in episode 3. I don't like it here either but the special effects are cool though so I concentrate on them. "It's his soul. It's gone." If I hadn't seen the preview last week, I would be stunned. By the way, I'm glad they told us this last week because there are too many shocks in this one already.
Sam-Thing and Dean look confused, while Cas speculates Michael and Lucifer are playing catch with Sam's soul. You got to do something in the cage. Cas conveniently sidesteps the question we all want to know, "Is it Sam?" Great, now I'm stuck with doubts and the Sam-Thing moniker. Dean wants Cas to get Sam's soul back but Cas points out a few small problems. I start my "Things I Am Confused About" list. Today's episode is going to be longer than usual. Apparently it took several angels to rescue Dean. Why then were the demons confused as to why Dean came back? Shouldn't an angel assault on hell warrant a little time on the demon grapevine? Also, the cage is being heavily guarded. By whom? I can't believe they let demons guard Satan, so that leaves angels. Releasing Michael and Lucifer seems like number 1 on Raphael's to do list so it can't be his angels guarding it. By default, shouldn't the angels guarding the cage be on Team Cas? I can see if Cas were saying they couldn't go in because of the danger of inadvertently letting Lucifer out too, but not because of a guard problem. While I am lost in mysteries, Sam-Thing shrugs and starts untying his restraints.
Dean won't untie Sam-Thing, so Sam-Thing pleads in a little kid voice, "Dean, I'm not some psycho. I didn't want you to get hurt. I was just trying to stop the vamps." Dean's not buying it. "Sam, how am I even supposed to let you out of this room?" Great discussion follows complete with an apology and more confusion. The point is moot though as Sam-Thing unties the knots and calmly says that Dean can't hold him. Dean has no choice but will be watching him. Sam-Thing agrees. I am really concerned because Cas doesn't look like this is a good idea, although he uses his healing powers to make Sam-Thing pretty again. I think everyone forgot the key question. Shouldn't somebody ask Cas if this has happened before and what the person was like? It would be nice to know what to expect.
(Um, Wilson, I'm borrowing your table. I might need somewhere to duck.) I don't trust this version of Sam. He had all the right words and all the right expressions to conjure up Sammy. His tone was little brother wheedling for big brother to understand and make things right. It was everything I hoped, but Supernatural has made me suspicious. This Sam-Thing knows Sammy and he knows Dean and I think he's manipulating the situation. It may be just the soullessness making me uneasy but Sam-Thing has lied and capitalized on Dean's feelings before. The way Cas looked at Dean reinforced my doubt. This was too calculating for me. (Ducks under table.)
All leads point to Grandpa Creepy, of course, and Dean and Sam-Thing enter Creepy Compound. Not like the barbed wire fencing and guards say something's up. His neighbors must think he's creating a militia. In the compound, busy worker bees are sharpening knives and pouring blood. Where did Gramps get so many followers? I spy "cult". Christian greets Sam-Thing like a frat brother and is cold to Dean. Good thing Gwen annoys me as much as you Christian, so you're not the only one I want to die. Dean gives it right back. "Hello Newman. Where's the man?" I don't watch Seinfeld but even I think it's a good comparison. Dean and Sam-Thing barge in on a nostalgic Grandpa Creepy. He wants to know what's wrong. I want to know where Christian is. Obviously something's up and he doesn't seem the type to stay in the background unless Grandpa Creepy orders it. He's second in command. Cas pops in for some male posturing and a little more torture. (Enough already.) Gramps starts screaming and Christian starts running. Apparently, he needed his coffee more than information. Christian bursts in gun first only to be sent back to the bleachers by Gramps. In the whole Creepy Compound, Christian is the only one who comes running? Either the worker bees find Grandpa creepy too or they are used to hearing people scream in pain.
Cas confirms that Grandpa Creepy does have a soul, which makes him even creepier. Since he's not dumb, he gets it. Sam-Thing: "Whoever dragged me out left a piece behind. Did you know?" Apparently Gramps has nothing to hide - right- and didn't know -maybe. He admits Sam-Thing sometimes scares him. Me too, Gramps. Cas checks out of the conversation to listen to war updates, or maybe the football game. He has to fly but Dean demands, "You better tear the attic up. Find something to help Sam." Shut up, Dean! Cas deadpans, "Of course. Your problems always come first." You go Cas. Dean is in as much need of a verbal smackdown here as you were last episode. Cas jets and for the first time I laugh with Grandpa Creepy: "I would have asked him to stick around for a beer."
Creepy Compound is abuzz with activity and Sam-Thing susses out that they found AlphaVamp. He's hurt Grandpa didn't invite him but Dean knows it's because Grandpa doesn't trust him. Dean backs Grandpa into a corner by saying, "Big Daddy Bloodsucker, I ain't gonna miss that. But this is your deal. Ok, I get it. I'll follow your lead. I trust YOU." What! Noooooo! Please Dean, tell me you aren't falling for this family thing. Dean and Sam-Thing walk outside. Dean: "I don't trust him. Dude's hiding something." Thank goodness. You had me worried there. Sam-Thing wonders about Dean not trusting family. Dean: "I can feel it and if you weren't RoboSam you'd feel it too." Thanks Dean; that fits better than Sam-Thing. Since Grandpa Creepy is still the only lead they have, they go back in. RoboSam sits with Christian while Dean breaks into Gramps' office. But Christian won't be fooled twice and follows Dean. Dean says he needs to make a private phone call but Christian doesn't buy it. In all fairness Dean starts the fight by saying he was going to call Christian's wife, "let her know I'm not going to make it over tonight." Apparently, Christian was being nice before and I agree with Dean that he needs to work on his people skills. Christian goes all green-eyed saying that he is a big, bad hunter and doesn't need Dean. Jealous much! "You walk around like you're playing pro tennis. Only action you've seen lately is between your slut girlfriend's legs." Excuse me! You did not just go there Christian. Lisa is the only female I like on this show. Ok, I hate you more than Gwen. You die first, and in a horrible fashion. Dean slams Christian into a wall and I can't wait for Christian to get what's coming to him. Christian has obviously not seen Dean angry and threatens him. "You sure you want to come with us tomorrow. Accidents happen." What is your deal? Are you that worried Dean will show you up? Dean shows more self-control than I would. He adjusts Christian's collar, saying, "Don't worry man. I got your back." before walking out.
At the hunt, Grandpa Creepy assigns Dean and Gwen to background patrol. Gwen: "I'm in the rear with the reject." Good thing I hate Christian more now or you'd be first on my hit list. Dean has no choice but to let RoboSam go. Gwen apologizes and says she always gets the worst jobs because of Mary. She is a young, sassy female, but all resemblance ends there. Gwen is more sympathetic this episode but she's still a CSK. However, she does know her stuff as she beheads a runaway vamp. Dean hears gunshot and runs to the house, only to see Grandpa Creepy and RoboSam loading AlphaVamp into the van. Dean gets back to Gwen just in time and Gwen doesn't tell Grandpa Creepy that he left. Give it up writers. I'm never going to like her.
Back in Metallicar, Dean asks RoboSam if anything odd happened. RoboSam lies. Again. Dean pulls the car over and RoboSam admits that he was keeping Grandpa Creepy's nefarious plot from Dean because Dean would "mess it up. You'd shoot first, ask questions later, and we needed to ask questions." Dean wonders, "and did it ever occur to you that this is really shady?" RoboSam didn’t and Dean realizes that he has no instinct. Dean tells RoboSam that they do things his way or RoboSam can join Grandpa Creepy. Great scene by both! Jared does a great job with RoboSam.
Back at Creepy Compound, RoboSam tells Grandpa Creepy that he and Dean have separated. Come on. Does anyone believe RoboSam chose Grandpa Creepy over Dean? Anyone? I didn’t think so. Grandpa is glad to have RoboSam, but he isn't making him a general in the Campbell Soup Army until he's souled up. RoboSam is one sharp soldier and he turns on the GPS on Grandpa Creepy's phone. RoboSam rejoins Dean in the Impala. "You didn’t think I would come back." "I figured 60-40." Oh Dean of little faith, we all knew he was coming back. RoboSam explains Plan B and proceeds to make me laugh for the second time this episode by deadpanning that Grandpa Creepy "thinks Velcro is big news." Well, he has been dead since the 70's. He's still adjusting.
Over at Monster Torture Headquarters, Grandpa Creepy has AlphaVamp stuck in a haunted house prop reject, hands and feet nailed down and dead man's blood pumping full force. Grandpa decides this isn’t enough and throws the big old electric switch. AlphaVamp laughs. Grandpa Creepy leaves to find new persuasion techniques and AlphaVamp seriously needs a manicure as his nails elongate so he can scratch at the restraints. His tracker skills work through the dead man's blood though, as he asks Dean and RoboSam, "Are you two going to hide all night? Come on out boys." AlphaVamp tries to remind Dean of his good old vamp days, but Dean realizes that he can't "fire up that psychic Bat signal" with all the dead man's blood floating around. Dean follows Grandpa Creepy's persuasion technique and electrocutes AlphaVamp, but AlphaVamp is getting tired of it. "When your kind first huddled around the fire, I was the thing in the dark. Now you think you can hurt me." Still, AlphaVamp is in a chatty mood because soon he "will be ankle deep in your blood, sucking the marrow from your bones." Nice AlphaVamp. Maybe you should have dinner with Veritas sometime. Perhaps in purgatory. Which is what Grandpa Creepy is after. Apparently, when monsters die they don't go to heaven or hell; they go to purgatory and their "grandpappy" wants to know where it is located. But not for himself. "Well if the old man's Kermit, whose hand is up his" butt? Before we can get an answer, Grandpa Creepy, Christian, and Red Shirt walk in. On a side note, all Alphas have a Mommy, and the monster angle gets a whole lot more interesting. Maybe Lilith?
Dean and RoboSam are deweaponized in the hallway, and finally Dean gives Grandpa Creepy the smackdown he deserves. "Wow! You know I've seen some stupid in my time, but you take the crown. Putting Jaws in a fishbowl. Man, how do you think that's gonna end?" Grandpa makes an excuse but Dean's not having it. "Whatever you're doing, whatever you're hiding is going to put you and everyone around you in the ground." Dean deguns Gramps but Gwen is there. And it's stalemate. Until AlphaVamp breaks out and it's sayonara Red Shirt. For some reason Grandpa Creepy still thinks he's in charge but Dean quickly rectifies that. Dean splits them into groups but warns Grandpa Creepy, "if we make it through this, you, me, and Sam are having one hell of a family meeting." Good acting from the CSA here as they realize that the balance of power has shifted.
RoboSam, Grandpa Creepy and Christian check things out. Superhunter Christian lowers his gun and my heart dances gleefully because everyone knows that as soon as you let your guard down, you're a Vamp Happy Meal (Thanks Spike from Buffy). Guess you're not as good as you think you are Christian. Right on time, AlphaVamp snaps his neck and puts RoboSam in a headlock. Apparently no-souled hunters are good for vamp business and AlphaVamp fangs out. Say what? Christian's alive and pumping AlphaVamp with dead man's blood. WHAT!!! Christian is a black-eyed demon. No way! What the heck is going on here? The surprises keep coming as I am literally hanging on to the bed to keep from falling off. I love Supernatural! Dean rushes in, a light flashes, and AlphaVamp is now surrounded by a bunch of demons. At the risk of repeating myself, What!!! And then they all disappear, including AlphaVamp and Christian. My mind is now blown. Did NOT see that coming. Somewhere in the recess of my now numbed-mind, I hear pipes banging…or footsteps..or clapping. What the hell! It's Crowley! "Well that was dramatic!" King of Hell…try King of the Understatement! The twists are flying fast and furious now as Crowley states that Christian has been a demon for awhile now and Grandpa Creepy is his employee. Not only that, but the Winchesters are in his employ too. Grandpa Creepy admits that Crowley brought both he and Sam back, but Crowley kept the soul. He'll release Sam's soul in exchange for Alphas. Crowley really wants a condo in Purgatory it seems. The Winchesters think he's bluffing (and so do I) but Crowley claims he has the mojo for it. "So we clear. Me Charlie, you angels. Job's simple enough. Bring me creatures. Aim high on the food chain please. Everybody wins." And Crowley goes the way of Christian. I still sit clutching the bed edge. Not even Supernatural can be made of this much awesome right? All hail Sera!
Thankfully we are at commercial break so my mind can refocus. And all the questions tumble in. How did Crowley amass so much power in such a small amount of time? How did Cas not see that Christian was a demon when he was in the same room with him? Is Crowley bluffing about it all, taking advantage of the situation? That sounds like him. What is so special about purgatory? It doesn't sound much better than hell. Thankfully 90210 comes to my rescue. Do you have to make it so easy? Last week you were celebrating underachievement. This week you fawn over Joe Jonas. My mind has sufficiently recovered enough to get through the episode's end.
Back at the Warehouse of Blown Minds, Grandpa Creepy tries to assert control but even Gwen isn't buying it. Still, he is her grandpa and cult leader so she gets the van. Meanwhile, RoboSam takes offense at Grandpa Creepy's lying face, as well he should. "Working with a demon, huh. You're not who I thought you were." Gramps tries to defend himself but goes too far when he says, "So the way I see it, you got 2 choices. Put a bullet in your grandfather or step aside." RoboSam wants option #1 but Dean let's Creepy by. RoboSam: "He sold us out." and my heart aches for him. Right until he rushes into Crowley's service. The Winchesters have always done things their own way so I have a hard time believing the first course of action is doing Crowley's bidding. Shouldn't they be on the phone with Bobby by now? Shouldn't they be calling out for Cas? At least look at the options before giving in the towel. The weird lighting has RoboSam's eyes looking yellow. And my uneasiness rises again. In my mind, I see Sam telling Dean not to shoot Crowley because "a deal is a deal." Once again I duck under the table. Is RoboSam hiding something? Is another twist around the corner? I want so much to believe this is Sam and that all my questions spur from the soul issue. I want to believe in my heart. My head yells differently. I don't trust Sam!
Next week - "Doubt leads to betrayal."
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