Quote of the Week - Week of Dec. 9

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.

All American -
1. Spencer: “I want better for you, Coop. You’re my people. You’re family to me. I’m not ever gonna leave you behind. No matter what.” Coop: “I know you won’t.” (Mads)
2. Grace: “You can’t take the blame for other people’s choices. I made a lot of bad choices in my life, and I own them. They don’t belong to nobody else. But this choice, going to Beverly, you made the right decision for you, for your future. That’s all anyone one of us can control.” (Mads)
3. Sean: “No use dreaming when the dreams ain’t real.” Coop: “Sometimes the dream is all we got.” (Mads)

CW Crossover: Elseworlds -
1. Oliver: “Just for 90 seconds. Be serious. I'd really like to wake up in my own bed tomorrow morning.” Barry: “You woke up in bed with Iris?” Oliver: “Yeah.” Barry: “We have to fix this right now!” (Prpleight)
2. Barry: “Are you puffing out your chest?” Oliver: “Yes.” (Prpleight)
3. Ralph: “So, an evil copycat Gort is coming to klaatu barada kick-to our a** and we can't let out Flash and Green Arrow to fight it?” (Prpleight)
4. Kate Kane: “The wifi password is Alfred.” ~Kate Kane and Kara Danvers talk about their cousins (Donna)
5. Kara Danvers: “Do you ever wonder if trying to keep his private life different from the public eye got to be too much for him and he broke?” (Donna)
6. Kate: “Sitting at that desk. Staring out that window. Watching the city that we grew up in rot at its core, you find a way to NOT break.” (Donna)
7. Supergirl to Batwoman: “You know, it’s such a shame I have to go because I feel like we’d make a good team…” Batwoman: “World’s Finest.” (Donna)
8. Kara talking to Earth 1 Alex about her Alex: “She’s a leader who is just and proud and when someone tells her to do something she knows is wrong she gives them HELL, and she does what’s right. She does what’s rightl She doesn’t have powers like I do, but she’s a hero.” (Donna)
9. Supergirl: “This is you, someone who’s willing to stand up for what’s right. And after all of this goes back to normal, it will still be who you are.” Earth 1 Alex: “Your sister is a very lucky woman.” Supergirl: “I’m a lucky sister.” (Donna)

Dirty John -
1. John: “You'll understand when it happens. You'll understand it all. I won't be anywhere near it. I'll be in Bermuda or wherever, having a drink with a 22-year-old, smiling like I am right now. You should enjoy your time left, Tonia. Your time left on this earth. That's what it's gonna come down to. Just, when it happens? When you see it in your eyes and you know, promise you'll remember it was me.” ~It's so chilling to hear John threatening Tonia like that. You can't help but imagine all the horrible things he might have planned. (Mads)
2. PI: “And different clothes. Ones that blend in more.” Veronica: “Uh, her clothes do blend in in Orange County. It's yours that stand out.” PI: “Snap.” (Mads)
3. PI: “Look, Debra. Just get yourself out. That's what I'd do.” ~Debra asks the private investigator what she would do in this exact situation and I found her response also sent a chill down my spine. You really begin to realize how dangerous John is in this episode. (Mads)

Legacies -
1. Kaleb: “Okay, young grasshopper. It's called Snatch, Eat, Erase. All right? I read about it in Dr. Saltzman's books about those Salvatore dudes that used to live in our school.” ~I loved the reference to Damon's old method. (Mads)
2. Hope: “I was told today that you would never find peace until I found it in myself. I hope that was a lie told to punish me. God knows I deserved that. But if it's true, I'm gonna do better. Today I saw a glimpse of what true loneliness feels like, of what lies in store for me if I don't find my own peace. So I'm gonna get to work on that. I will walk with you, I'm glad to know you're with me, but I look forward to the day when you're not. I love you.” ~I find it touching that Hope still writes to Klaus regularly even though he's no longer there. It makes me wish we had gotten to see more of their relationship when he was alive but this was a touching scene and a well-written one at that. (Mads)
3. Hope: “You don't like that I broke your rules as a headmaster? Fine, punish me. But don't you dare play disappointed dad, - because you are not my father.” ~I could tell it stung Alaric to hear it. Even if both of them understand on some level Alaric isn't her father, it's undeniable they have a closer than normal relationship. He is definitely a paternal figure in her life and they both know it, even if is neither wants to admit it. (Mads)

Murphy Brown -
1. Murphy: “We’re not talking about this country. We're talking about Afghanistan. Are we winning the war?” Major Stansfield: “What we should be talking about is the importance of our new sixth branch of the military: THE SPACE FORCE.” ~This scene just portrays the current administration so very accurately. They are trying to distract from truly important issues with ridiculous ideas such as the space force. (Julia)
2. Pat: “Last time I saw her move that fast, she was chasing a Mister Softee truck down K Street.” ~After Murphy runs after Major Stansfield who cowardly broke off the interview to confront him with some more questions (Julia)
3. Avery: “You watch "Dancing with the Stars"?” Murphy: “I will watch any show that humiliates both Tucker Carlson and Rick Perry.” (Julia)
4. New assistant: “Oh, and FWIW, I have to leave early for a goat yoga class, which, if you don't get there an hour in advance, all the best goats are taken.” (Julia)

NCIS: NOLA -
1. Spirit Guide: “Time’s up Dwayne. I’m so sorry.” ~Amelia Parsons points her gun at Dwayne Pride and shoots, but his father Cassius jumps in the way and takes the bullets for his son. Pride kills Parsons, but it's too late. Cassius dies in his son's arms and travels to the afterlife with the spirit guide, leaving Pride completely devastated. (Kelly)

The Rookie -
1. Angela: “You'd be right here if the situations were reversed. And I brought fries.” Tim: “Thanks. You know, you'd have to be in an actual relationship for the situations to be reversed.” Angela: “What are you, my mother?” (Mads)
2. John: “What are we doing here?” Lucy: “I can't imagine what you're going through. And maybe if I was in the same place, I'd think about quitting, too. But they're alive because you did your job. You put your own life at risk to protect them, and if you're ever in that position again, I know you'll do the same thing.” (Mads)

Single Parents -
1. Angie: “It doesn’t sound simple.  It sounds like, Westworld-level confusing.” (Mads and Dahne)
2. Graham: “This guy isn't doing a lot to convince me. The details of his friendship with the Easter Bunny keep changing.” (Mads)
3. Poppy: “Look, Douglas, I appreciate the gesture, but you guys don't want to be here. I put a pair of Rory's PJs on the couch cushion and, well, we've been spooning.” Douglas: “Okay, well, I do want to be here. I'm not gonna try to talk you out of being sad. I just wanted to, uh, sit with you.” Poppy: “All right. Well, sit wherever you want. Just not on my son, the couch cushion.” ~I adore Poppy and Douglas together and the way they're able to just sit together in a quiet moment, finding comfort in the other's company is absolutely adorable. (Mads)

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

Quote of the Week - Week of Nov. 25

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.

Arrow -
1. Turner: “You think I'm a criminal. You said it yourself. And criminals belong behind bars.
Isn't that right?” Oliver: “I think that years ago, you saved Lyla's life. Now, I don't know if you can be that kind of hero again, but I think you deserve the chance to try.” (Mads)
2. Stanley: “Oh my God, you’re Shawshanking out of here.” (Mads)
3. Turner: “But the old Green Arrow, he wasn't the best. He saw the world in black and white, but now you, you know there's gray out there too. Maybe that makes you a better hero.” (Mads)

Charmed -
1. Harry: “Bottoms up. Harry’s Hair of the Dog.” Macy: “This is really working. What’s in it?” Harry: “I told you, hair of dog.” Macy, spits drink out: “That is a violation!” (Mads and Dahne)
2. Harry: “Sela is a highly regarded Egyptian fertility goddess. Practically royalty. Think Meghan Markle.” (Mads)
3. Maggie: “You guys, this is not the Beyhive I imagined showing up at our house.” (Mads)

Dynasty -
1. Fallon, about Blake’s new engagement to Cristal: “Then what's the rush? I mean, the last one's barely cold.” (Mads)
2. Cristal: “Really? Google Translate? B**.” (Mads)
3. Fallon: “But I don't have feelings for him, Michael. I know that now. And I am all-in on us. I want us to get married as soon as we can, so I never have to be scared of losing you again.” Culhane: “Fallon.” Fallon: “Yeah?” Culhane: “I don't ever want to lose you either.” (Mads)

The Gifted -
1. Lorna: “You weren't hiding me from him, you were hiding me for him.” (Mads)
2. Lorna: “You know what it was like, growing up in that crappy little town, knowing he was out there? I remember watching the news and they'd talk about the Brotherhood, and how he was a monster, you know, and all I could think was, the world hates him, but I hate him more.” (Mads)
3. Lorna: “I’d rather have her grow up hating me than not grow up at all.” (Mads)
4. Clarice: “Yeah, well, the only thing worse than doing something stupid and dangerous is doing it alone.” (Mads)

God Friended Me -
1. Ray: “Well, kid, I don’t know much but I do know this: good ain’t great. Great’s what you’re shooting for. You know, when it comes to affairs of the heart, great is what knocks you on your a** and lets you know that you can stop. Miles aside, if you’re happy with this Eli guy, fine. But if you’re just buying time, waiting for great to come along, you should do you both a favor and keep looking.
2. Ray: “My wife Abby died a year ago and for reasons that sound absolutely insane when you say it out loud, I think she sent your son to help me through it.” Arthur: “Oh, oh, does this have something to do with the God account?” Arthur: “Mmm hmm, yeah. A couple of months ago they sent him my name, now Graham’s, apparently a hell of a lot of people in between. You know I don’t know who’s behind it all, I don’t know why they chose your son, but I do know this. That kid’s making a hell of a difference.”
3. Miles: “You haven’t even given him a chance to…” Graham: “Why do I need to give him a chance? He’s the one who stole the last 10 years of my life from me.” Miles: “I get that. I do. But maybe his apology is a way for you to get chess back. You said you couldn’t understand how he beat you and not knowing made you question everything you thought you knew to be true - about you, about the game. Now you have your answer. You have the truth. Why not use this to reclaim what you lost?” Graham: “It’s too late. The truth doesn’t change what happened.” Miles: “But it could change what will happen. If you don’t at least try to forgive him, it might be a bigger mistake than the one he made.”

The Kids Are Alright -
1. Mike: “Honey, you're a great mom and you want to protect your kids….but it has to be case-by-case. Sometimes maybe we do weigh in and sometimes we have to let these idiots make the dumb decisions they’re going to make and just hope for Divine providence.” Peggy: “Okay, that makes sense.” Mike: “What? Really? You mean I won one?”
2. Eddie: “I’d been cooking up all these plans in my head about you and me having, you know, s-e-x, but it hadn’t even occurred to me to talk to you.” Wendi: “Well if you keep spelling out the naughty words, it might be a very long talk.”
3. Mike: “Whoa. You’re talking to Eddie’s girlfriend about our s-e-x activities?” Peggy: “Wendi is a very smart, modern young woman.” Mike: “If she’s smart, what’s she doing with Eddie?”

Legacies -
1. Raf: “You got a sec?” Lizzie: “I have a lot of sex. I mean time.” (Mads)
2. Alaric: “Is this about Landon? Because you can't let this get personal.” Hope: “The political is personal. I learned that in Advanced Civics, taught by you.” Alaric: “That's cheating.” (Mads)
3. Alaric: “What if we don't take the deal?” Dryad: “Trees are patient. Humans are not.” (Mads)

MacGyver -
1. DIrector: “We believe Specimen 234 went missing during an incident in the lab yesterday.” Jack: “Incident? You do know that’s how horror movies start, right?”
2. Boeser: “So the infected rats of NIMH escaped their cage.”
3. Jack: “What in the hell is going on in here?” Boeser: “We couldn’t decide on what to order for lunch, so we’re settling it with a plank contest.” Mac: “Yeah, whoever holds out the longest gets to choose.” Jack: “Sounds like some millennial fun right there.”

A Million Little Things -
1. Rome: “Last night you mentioned someone you lost that you couldn't save. I just want you to know whoever it was, you might not have been able to save them, but you sure as hell saved me.” (DarkUFO)
2. Eddie: “Regina, I am crazy for this caprese and this truffle mac is totally wack.” Regina: “It amazes me that you convinced two women to sleep with you.” (DarkUFO)
3. Maggie: “This wasn't supposed to happen.” Gina: “Yeah, sweetie. I know; cancer sucks.” Maggie: “No, not that -- the cancer, this. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was just supposed to go to a support group and live my life to the fullest until I couldn't. And then I met Gary. I didn't think that a guy that I hooked up with in a church bathroom would lead me to friends who would support me in living my life the way I want to live it.” Rome: “Then why are you pushing us away?” Maggie: “Because I can't do this. I can't hurt you.” (DarkUFO)

Murphy Brown -
1. Murphy: “I’ll be taking a look at the troubled relationship President Trump has with our allies Justin Trudeau and Emmanuel Macron. That would make a good screwball comedy, wouldn’t it? We can call it “Two Men and a Baby”?” Julius: “And there goes our last Republican viewer…” Miles: “Just couldn’t help yourself could you, Murphy? Seconds from the end of a terrific show and you had to take a sarcastic swipe at the president.” Murphy: “I know, I know. And I sort of regretted it the second it came out of my mouth. But ever since this guy has been in in the Oval Office I developed a kind of Tourettes.” (Jules Krassnik)
2. Avery: “You know I really wish you [and Trump] would work out your problems. Have you considered couple’s therapy?” Murphy: “You know, it’s too late. It’s over. I got the house and the car; he got the hairspray.” (Jules Krassnik)
3. Murphy, changes the channel: “Oh here we go!” Avery: “What is that?” Murphy: “Hoarders. Oh my God! People afraid of throwing stuff away wind up buried under mountains of their own garbage. It destroys their lives. It’s brilliant!” Avery: “This is coming from a woman who has a basement full of TV guides.” Murphy: “I haven’t finished all the crosswords yet!” (Jules Krassnik)
4. Murphy: “I guess when you major in journalism these days you have to minor in kickboxing.” (Jules Krassnik)
5. Corky: “I know I said I hope Frank’s back in his chair soon but I wouldn’t mind taking care of him just another few more days. Maybe this sounds weird but he is so weak and helpless right now, he is almost bald. I look at him and think: This is the closest I’ll ever come to having a baby.” (Jules Krassnik)
6. Corky: “Firearms for your birthday are a tradition in my family. So is shooting out the candles. Although, the older you get the more you have to reload.” (Jules Krassnik)

NCIS:LA -
1. Callen: “I don’t like that guy.” Sam: “No, I’ve seen better allies on Survivor.”
2. Kenzie: “Luanne, we are NCIS and we would like to ask you some questions.” Luanne: “Well it’s about time, I can’t look at one more of these magazines. Spoiler alert - no one wore it best.” Kenzie: “They never do.”
3. Deeks: “These people may think this is paradise, but I’m pretty sure this is Dawn of the Dead, except for all these zombies are wearing deep V’s.”
4. Deeks: “Kenzi, why all of a sudden does it sound like you’ve lived a hard life of menthols and disappointment?” Mrs. Deeks: “Save it for my eulogy.”

New Amsterdam -
1. Max: “It’s my sister’s heart. We have to save it.” Floyd: “No. We have to save Sarah. And the only thing that’s going to do that is a new heart, because the old one is out of time.” (Mads)
2. Sarah: “Right after my transplant, my dad asked me what I'd wanna do if I could do anything. I said I wanted to be a pirate. So, my parents sold a car, got a loan, and we spent a month on a boat in the Bahamas. It was insane. We couldn't afford it, but at the end of the surgery, I always thought maybe it was Luna. I have to tell you, Luna's heart didn't always have the best taste in guys, but it skipped a beat when she met Andy. It's like she picked him out just for me, and Luna learned what it felt like to be in love. I have a job where I help people. I've been all over the world. I ran a half-marathon even though people told me not to. Last year I won a watermelon-eating contest, which is a real thing and I love them. That's why it's okay it's time for me to go. Your sister, she gave me a beautiful life.” Max: “It's the other way around.” (Mads and Dahne)

The Resident -
1. Marshall: “Whatever happens, I cannot be a burden. It’s not my style. You do not have to take care of me.” Conrad: “It’s what I do, Dad.” (Mads)
2. Bradley: “He’s thinking about screaming kids, mortgage payments, the dad bod.” Irving: “It’s a wedding, not a funeral, dude.” Bradley: “The dad bod’s inevitable.” (Mads)
3. Conrad: “I’m glad you came back. You’re my father, and I love you.” (Mads)

Riverdale -
1. Veronica: “Don't you make me say goodbye to you, Archie Andrews. Because I don't wanna hear it back.” (Mads)
2. Alice: “Betty, there's no safer place for you now. The sisters protected me. They protected Polly. They'll watch over you now.” (Mads)
3. Hiram: “I’m not a 16-year-old nerd playing games to live out my overactive hormonal fantasies. I'm not the Gargoyle King, because you know what? That's not a real thing. Nor am I the murderer that you and Betty Cooper are looking for. But if homicidal parents are what you're after, may I suggest Clifford Blossom? Hal Cooper? Tom Keller? And perhaps even your own father. They'd all make solid suspects.” (Mads)

The Rookie -
1. Chen: “Never tell a crook where you hide your money.” Bradford: “Lucy?” Chen: “You told me to think like a criminal.” (Mads)
2. Bishop: “You were supposed to arrest him, not get in a brawl.” (Mads)
3. West: “Look, we can’t choose our fathers, but we can choose how we let them shape us.” (Mads)

Single Parents -
1. Graham: “Mom always wanted to be in a metal band! She wanted to learn how to play guitar. But then I was born, and, as she put it, the fun died.” (Mads and Dahne)
2. Will: “By the way, did you have a thing for The Beast? 'Cause The Beast was getting a vibe.” Angie: “All right, calm down.” Will: “Uh-huh.” Angie: “Let's watch me get hit by the frond again.” (Mads)
3. Miggy: “So, how'd it go with Big Red?” Douglas: “Oh, she went home. After I told her I had to cut the date short, she very slowly nudged my glass of wine across and off the table. You know, like a cat.” Miggy: “Oh.” Douglas: “Never loved her more.” (Mads)

Tell Me a Story -
1. Madeline: “I will never forgive myself for what I did to you and Gabe, so I don’t expect you to. But, I am your mother, and if that could ever mean anything to you again…” Hannah: “I’ve gone my whole life without a mother. I don’t need one now.” (Mads)
2. Beth: “Please be the man I fell in love with.” Jordan: “That man is gone. He died with you.” (Mads)
3. Kayla: “Do not love me. You’ll just end up dead because that’s what happens to people who love me.” (Mads)

The Walking Dead -
1. Negan: “This little window right here, is as good as a TV and I loved the sh** outta TV back when that was a thing.” (DarkUFO)
2. Gabriel: “It's bad enough I gotta to clean up your sh**. I shouldn't have to listen to it too.” (DarkUFO)
3. Negan: “You know I read something fascinating the other day. You know what a smell is? It's when odor molecules activate neurons in your nasal passages. So every time you come in here and change my bed pan and smell my sh**, something that was actually in my a** goes right up your nose.” Gabriel: “Shut up.” Negan: “I'm sorry, I never know exactly which eye I'm supposed to look at. It's a little bit distracting.” (DarkUFO)

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

Quote of the Week - Week of Nov. 11

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.

American Horror Story -
1. Myrtle:c "My hair is an eternal mystery never to be fully understood." (Sam)
2. Myrtle: "Purple is for royalty, dear. Not middle management." (Sam)
3. Madison, realizing she's about to die again: "I guess it's back to retail." (Sam)

The Big Bang Theory -
1. Leonard: "Sheldon's concocted some stupid test to see if I can keep a secret." Penny: "Ooo, what's the secret?" Leonard: "The test is stupid but I still want to pass." (Prpleight)
2. Amy: “Can't we hire a grad student to do it?” Sheldon: “A grad student? I am not trusting our unpublished paper to some millennial. They'll put unicorn emojis on it and then post it on social media.” Amy: “Why would they do that?” Sheldon: “Economic anxiety, too much avocado toast, who cares?” (Jules)
3. Amy: “What if we ask one of our friends to help us out? How about Leonard?” Sheldon: “Gee, I don't know. Can we trust him?” Amy: “He's your best friend in the whole world.” Sheldon: “Yes, but he's always struck me as the guy in the plane crash who doesn't wait until you're all the way dead to eat you.” (Jules)
4. Bernadette: “I want to show Howard I can play this game.” Penny: You know, you make a lot more money than he does. Can't you just rub his nose in that?” Bernadette: “I can, but I want to rub his nose in this.” (Jules)

The Flash -
1. Barry: “You're crazy.” Iris: “I am.” Barry: “Thank you. I love you.” Iris: “I love you.” ~This is Barry and Iris' conversation after she dives head first, with no hesitation, off of a building to save him. (Naomi)

The Gifted -
1. Lauren: “If anything happens, I’ll protect you.” Reed: “It’s not your job to protect me. It’s my job to protect you.” Lauren: “Our family is in this together. It’s time we start acting that way. We can’t keep running from what we are.” (Mads)
2. Reeva: “Do not test me, Quinn. I am not a monster unless I need to be.” (Mads)
3. Quinn: “I never even knew your real name, did I?” Reeva: “Soon you will. Soon the whole world will know my name.” (Mads)

The Good Place -
1. Janet: “All he consumes are radishes and lentils.” Michael: “No Janet, he also consumes his own waste. Everything's fine.” (Shirleena)

Grey’s Anatomy -
1. Andrew: “Well, you amaze me, Dr. Grey. And while I’m feeling brave, I’m not sorry I kissed you at the wedding. ‘Cause it’s all I’ve been able to think about ever since and I know you have options, but... I want you to know that I’m one of them.” (Mads)
2. Alex: “I don’t care about the license. I feel married.” Jo: “Me too, but we should still mail it in.” (Mads)
3. Levi: “Sex wasn't on the table for us, so I didn't know I was gay. I knew I had feelings for boys, but I didn't understand it. Not until you kissed me. You kissed me, and I felt the opposite of shame. I felt like I existed and everything fell into place. For the first time, it felt like I was holding the sun sword, and I... [Nico stops him with a kiss] — are you just kissing me to stop me from talking?” Nico: “No.” (Mads)

Hawaii 5-0 -
1. Junior: “Hey, Koa. Was she always this competitive when you were kids?” Koa: “Only until she was about 8. After that I wouldn't play with her.”(Prpleight)
2. Lou’s Father: “When you’re standing in a hole, stop digging.” (Prpleight)

Murphy Brown -
1. Murphy: “Remember Donald Trump?” Holly: “The handsy guy who liked walking through our pageant dressing room pretending to check the thermostat?” Murphy: “That's the one. He's president.” Holly: “Of what?” Murphy: “The United States?” Corky: “Why don't you just hit her over the head with a bedpan?” Holly: “I want to go back in the coma.” ~Holly wakes up after being in a coma for 10 years. (Jules)
2. Miles: “Nice moustache, Frank. You look like Stormy Daniels' co-star in The Horny Hospital.” (Jules and Prpleight)
3. Phyllis: “I knew that guy was guilty. It's always the husband. I've had four of them. I know a stair-pusher when I see one.” (Jules)
4. Corky: “Phyllis, hit me again.” Phyllis: “You keep drinking like this, and I'm gonna have to put you over there - in Kavanaugh Corner.” (Jules)
5. Corky: “Feeling a bit unsteady.” Murph: “After two shots? Amateur.” (Jules)
6. Frank: "Excuse me. Can you state your business please?" Doctor: "I'm a doctor." Frank: "With that fake accent? Nice try." Doctor: "My accent is not fake, but your mustache is. Now, get out of my way before I call security." Miles: "Hold on. If you're a real doctor. should I be concerned about this?” Doctor: "Why don't you ask Dr. Porno here?" (Prpleight)

NCIS:NOLA -
1. Sebastian: “Why don’t we save the profiling for Yasmin and we just give our boss her space?” Gregorio: “That’s no fun.”
2. Yasmin: “Shoot me or arrest me. I’m not ruining this outfit.”

The Rookie -
1. Lopez: “That’s Officer Davis. She collects American Girl dolls and then uses them to recreate scenes from 50 Shades. She’s single if you’re wondering.” (Mads)
2. Chen: “With all due respect, ma’am, there are no rookies like me.” Bishop: “Don’t fool yourself, Boot. They’re all like you. (Mads)”
3. Bishop: “Look, I appreciate you being honest with me about Nolan. More importantly, I think you’re finally being honest with yourself. That’s all I was looking to provoke — an informed choice.” (Mads)

Superstore -
1. Mateo: “Ugh, I hate making small talk with old people. It’s always a two hour fiasco about their children or what race they’re worried about getting robbed by.” Amy: “It’s so weird how they always have the most time to talk and yet the least time to live.” (Mads)
2. Dina: “You know, my cousin deep-fried a turkey last year. But he didn’t thaw it completely. Huge explosion. Bunch of his face just melted clean off. He’s had to have a ton of surgeries. We keep telling him he looks good as new, but really he kind of looks like one of those baseball mitts from the 1920s. Anyways, be safe. Gobble gobble.” (Mads)
3. Mateo: “My parents still think I’m straight.” Jonah: “Really?” Mateo: “What? I could be straight. [Deep voice] “Oh my god, a football. Throw!” (Mads)

Young Sheldon -
1. Prof. Sturgis: “Psychology? Is that a new interest of yours?” Sheldon: “It was either this or milking cows.” Prof. Sturgis: “Oh. I once was licked by a cow. You made the right choice.”
2. Meemaw: “Can I take you to get some ice cream?” Sheldon: “I'm having an emotional crisis, Meemaw! You can't fix that with ice cream.”
3. Georgie when asked what he is thankful for this Thanksgiving: “I'm thankful for my job at the auto shop. Uh, let's see, Alyssa Milano from Who's the Boss? She's really hot. That's about it.”

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

HTGAWM - 5.05 - It Was the Worst Day of My Life - Best Scene Poll

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

NCIS: New Orleans - 5.05 - In the Blood - Review: The 100th Episode

Note - Before jumping into this guest review, I’d like to say congratulations to the cast and crew on their 100th episode. In a generation of DOA shows, increased competition, and shortened seasons, it is a great accomplishment. An especially big congratulations goes out to Scott Bakula for reaching the 100th episode for the first time after coming so close with Quantum Leap and Star Trek: Enterprise. To help celebrate their 100th, NCIS:NOLA welcomes Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats as their musical guest. They also bring back the prolific Jim Whitmore, Jr. to direct. He has previously directed 10 episodes for the show, which is second only to James Hayman, and has directed around 60 episodes for the NCIS franchise. Supervising producer and writer Ron McGee adds his talents to the hallmark episode too, making this his 7th script for the show.

As the episode opens, a man tries to talk his way out of trouble with a quartet of armed thugs. They push him to a storage unit but when he opens it up, there’s nothing of value inside. His days are about numbered when out of nowhere, someone else shoots the thugs and lets him escape. Meanwhile, Pride is dreaming of watching his mom play piano while he reads a Hardy Boys book. It’s sweet and serene until Pride’s annoying spirit guide pops in to snark at him and Flashback Dad thinks it is appropriate to take his preteen son to his mistress’ house with a gun in the glove box. No wonder Flashback Mom gives Flashback Dad the evil eye on their way out. Still there’s no time to sleep in New Orleans, even if the Angel of Death is your co-pilot, so LaSalle calls to ask Pride to join them at the storage container. Much exposition ensues but the bottomline is that Young Pride’s toys and Hardy Boys book are there, making his dad the prime suspect. Cassius is newly released from prison thanks to a letter Pride wrote the parole board, but he’s skipped out on his probation officer to meet up with Jimmy Boyd, the man from the opening scene.

Jimmy’s mama recently died and left him a house in Treme, so they all convene there. Either Pride’s recent near death experience has left him clairvoyant or Annoying Spirit Guide is actually the Ghost of Mistresses Past, because this is the same house Pride was just dreaming about. He comes out of his reverie just in enough time to save Gregorio and a shootout occurs. Hannah kicks butt as she takes down some White Pride chick and the rest of the group dies. That’s NCIS - 1, bad guys - 0. Well, kind of. As they examine the house for more shooters, Pride and Gregorio find Cassius beaten but alive. Cassius: “Hiya, kid. Hell of a reunion.” Ha! This is gonna be fun. To say Pride is unexcited to have his father back in his life is an understatement. Loretta’s not too fond of him either and lectures Cassius about how Pride doesn’t need this right now. Cassius tries to whine his way into some sympathy by saying he had to learn about Pride almost dying on the news, but Loretta shuts that down quickly. Loretta: “Well I hope it would make you question your parenting skills.” Man, do I love how she never puts up with nonsense. The conversation is broken up once Pride learns from the White Pride chick that Cassius planned the River Grand Casino heist 20 years ago. Legend has that the thieves got away with $3 million. Pride heads in to interrogate his father but things escalate quickly, leaving Loretta to physically intervene. Loretta: “Family time’s over.”

Back at the office, details on the robbery are sketchy because the casino didn’t want bad press. That leaves Pride to interview an old family friend, Gina Powell, who was the floor manager at the time. She introduces Pride to Todd Jamieson, who is in “risk management” and isn’t any more eager to talk about the heist than the casino was decades earlier. Thankfully Patton finds out that Jimmy Boyd is still in NOLA, so the team follows that lead while Pride goes home to sleep and finds himself mid-flashback. Young Pride gets tired of waiting in the car for his dad so he sneaks up to the house, only to find Cassius kissing another woman. Poor baby. He just got proof that his dad is a lying, cheating, no-good jerk. He also finds out that he has a half-brother in the flashback….who just happens to be standing over him with a gun in real life. Startled, he realizes Jimmy Boyd is his half-brother and acknowledges him as such. Pride: “You gonna shoot your own brother, Jimmy?” Jimmy: “Been imagining this moment my whole life, actually meeting my half brother face to face.” Pride: “Always pointing a gun at me when you imagined?” Jimmy: “No, that part’s a little bit of a surprise.” Pride’s in no trouble though because Jimmy is anti-gun. He even has the safety still on.

After a bit of banter, Pride takes Jimmy to the office where Jimmy stuns Gregorio and Patton by announcing that Pride is his brother. Their reaction is priceless and Patton makes me laugh, saying: “Pride, you sure you don’t want Sebastian to run a DNA test or something?” Bwaaahh!! Jimmy confirms that the casino money was in the storage container, having helped Cassius move it there  years ago but he doesn’t know where it is now. Before Pride can storm the hospital demanding answers, Cassius escapes. Good thing Jimmy knows where he’ll be because Cassius still needs a fake id. After some creative blackmail, Pride gets the drop-off point from his print man, but instead of arresting Cassius, the same guys who killed the white pride thugs show up again. Cassius gets away but Jimmy is kidnapped, while trying to save his dad. At a dead end, Pride heads back to his team. Gregorio: “We’re gonna find him and Jimmy.” Pride: “I hope so. I just learned I have a brother. I’d like to keep him alive long enough to get to know him.” After some exposition, they learn that Gina Powell planned the robbery and is killing off any links to it to keep her mob-tied bosses from knowing about her role. Time to find Cassius and crash a party.

The first step is easy with the perks of Pride’s new job. He has Texas Highway Patrol set up a roadblock and stops Cassius before he can get to the border. They chat about how Cassius set up Pride’s Little League coach by planting drugs in his vehicle just because he wanted Pride to get more playing time. Yikes! Talk about rough parents. I bet they had trouble finding a replacement. Pride, however, has no problem finding the missing casino cash lined the in ceiling of his dad's Caddy. Busted. Getting Jimmy back is a little tougher though.  Pride confronts Gina at the Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats concert and brings out the $3 million in cash, which gets Jamieson’s attention. He takes everybody up to the roof and has his men bring Jimmy up too. In exchange for his brother, Pride has to give them the cash and Cassius. Pride agrees, Jamieson’s men shoot up Cassius’ Caddy (although he’s not in it), and Jamieson shoots Gina for good measure. Jamieson is about to shoot Pride too when the cavalry arrives. Jimmy manages to get a gun and saves Pride’s life. Yeah for brothers!

Now that the heroics are all over, Cassius turns on the charm to his boys but neither are buying it. Even Jimmy has soured on him, given that he was headed out of the country while Jimmy’s life was in danger. Cassius: “I always knew we’d get out of this mess. We make a good team.” Pride: “I think we’ve got a different definition of team and we.” Jimmy: “You were almost to Mexico.” Cassius is slick though and has exchanged his info on the white supremacists for a one-way ticket to Witness Protection. There’s a reason why he rose to become New Orleans’ top fixer. With Cassius no longer on their hands, Pride and Jimmy are free to get to know each other better and hang out at the bar, talking smack about their mothers’ gumbo recipes and listening to Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats again. All is fabulous until Annoying “I’m not your spirit guide” Spirit Guide shows up again. Pride is sleeping with Jimmy on the couch in the other room. She warns Pride that she’s his clock and it seems like time is about out. I am getting seriously bad Dallas vibes here. Time for her to go.



My Thoughts:

It was great getting some more background on Pride’s rocky childhood and Scott Bakula’s interactions with Stacy Keach were phenomenal. That was my favorite thing about the episode. I remember Keach from his Mike Hammer days, so it was fun to see him play such a slippery character. That being said, the entire episode revolved around Pride so there wasn’t much time for the other characters. That’s especially a shame due to it being the 100th episode. I would have liked it to have more of a team feel.

Speaking of teams, the new kids are great. Hannah’s introduction is a perfect example of how new characters can be integrated without causing unnecessary upheaval and drama. (Looking at you, Moseley on NCIS:LA.) I love how she isn’t threatened by Pride taking a more active role in their cases than he should technically have given his new job title. Plus, she takes on the leader role without having to bully others into following her lead, making her a true leader. I hope when Pride inevitably returns as team leader, she sticks with them as second in charge because TV can always use another smart, capable, kick butt female character. I also really liked the introduction of Jimmy. He’s a good foil for Pride, but he’s still basically a decent guy. Sure he gets into some trouble, but he’s not trying to hurt people. I think that by having Jimmy as a recurring character, it will give Pride more dimension and they have great bromance chemistry as well.

My biggest issue here is the continued presence of Annoying Spirit Guide. I found her irritating in the premiere and I’m not sure why she is still around. I know we are supposed to be concerned about Pride’s health but that could be easily achieved by adding in more sleeping and other health snippets. It was even more annoying in this episode because Pride was seeing things he needed for the case but before they actually came in play. It would have made more sense to have the snippet about the book after he found it in the storage container, not before. The things in the case should have been a springboard for his memories, not the other way around. The continued presence of this angel of death is giving me a bad feeling. I do not need a do-over. I need the show to conclude this particular plot pathway before I no longer care how it plays out.



Grade: B

Best Scene - Cassius tells his boys that he’s heading to WitSec and that he loves them
Best Character Interaction - Pride and Cassius
Best Magic Trick - LaSalle getting out and under the Caddy without Jamieson seeing him
Best Come to Jesus Moment - Loretta tells Cassius that he’s a bad parent
Best Reaction - Gregorio and Patton learning Jimmy is Pride’s half brother
Most Kick Butt - Hannah



Best Quotes:
1. Hannah: “Pretty sure DC wouldn’t approve of me bringing the regional SAC onto a tactical op.” Pride: “Can’t disagree.” Hannah: “As long as we’re clear on how we’re p** them off this week.”
2. Cassius: “Seeing my two boys together just warms my heart.” Pride: “Could have happened a lot sooner if you’d had been honest.” Cassius: “We all got regrets in our lives. I guess that I’ve got more than my share.” Jimmy: “I regret ever letting you through my front door.”
3. Gregorio: “Cassius Pride, New Orleans legend. Fixer to politicians and gangsters alike. Had his finger in every corrupt pie in the city.” Hannah: “Guess that apple fell far from that tree, huh?” Patton: “Whole other orchard.”



Screencaps from SpoilerTV, Seat 42F, Stacy Keach Work Page, CBS, Living New Orleans, and IMDb.

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."