Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Last Week in TV - Week of March 20 - Reviews and Episode Awards



Hello and welcome back to Last Week in TV. Sorry for the one day delay. I decided I wanted to get in 2 more mini-marathons so I am now much closer to caught up than I've been since premiere week. Got to love those long, holiday weekends. I hope yours was great too. I really enjoyed marathoning Dominion, the nominated show of the week. This time it will be Supergirl, which should be interesting since I dropped it after 3 episodes. I look forward to seeing if it has improved. If you would like to nominate a show, please fill in the short, 2-question form below. I am especially looking for older shows which have ended that can be found on Netflix or Amazon Prime. I know I missed some great series in the past so nominate away and don't forget to leave your own episode awards in the comments. Until next week, happy TV viewing.





Episode of the Week



Supernatural (11.14 - 11.16)

The U-boat and wrestling episodes were okay but I live for Rufus and Bobby. In fact, my absolute favorite spin-off idea for any show is a Grumpy Old Hunters series with these two. Hilarious and action bound, it would be awesome. I won't give up hope; I will get more Bobby and Rufus time. Therefore this episode gets Episode of the Week on the merit of sheer adorable grumpiness alone. I laughed throughout and loved all the camaraderie. While the case was pretty standard, interposing the past and the future so we could see the parallels to how both teams approached the case really worked for me. I love how similar they both are and it just goes to show how important Bobby still is in the Winchesters' lives. I also loved how beneath the gruffness, both Rufus and Bobby really care about each other too. They'd never show it but they are there for each other. The graveside chat and the final scene with them proved it. I like how Rufus revised the rule to make Bobby feel better. I like how Bobby surly snarked back even more. There's no denying that the Winchester brothers are the heart, soul, and foundation of Supernatural. Yet, Bobby and Rufus are the tart icing I can't get enough of that makes everything even better.

Grade: B- / B / A-

Best Reason to Watch - episode 11.16
Best Scene - Bobby and Rufus talk at the gravesite
Best Action - dual fight (Bobby vs. Rufus and Dean vs. Sam)
Best Awww Moment - Sam cradles Dean and says he's okay
Best Continuity - Rufus, Bobby, and the Apocalypse / rock, paper, scissors / SOB / rock music
Best Return - Rufus and Bobby -yipeee!!!
Best Wrestling Move - Sam breaks a chair over Dean
Best Reference - James Cameron's submarine adventures / Flash Gordon / Lethal Weapon
Worst Fall / Worst Subplot - Crowley, the lapdog of Satan
Worst Plan - telling the captain that the ship will go down, which could change the future and all the other junk that comes from the illogic of time travel
Biggest Fangirl / Biggest Doofus - Dean over the wrestler and alone in the wrestling ring
Biggest Pep Talk - the wrestler to Dean
Most Rude - It's surprisingly not Rufus, who usually wins. This time it is Dean on the phone to Bobby. Bobby really needs to Gibbs' slap Past Dean.
Most Depressing - all Rufus' talk about the first rule, knowing that both Bobby and Rufus are dead now
Most Sense - sending Dean into the past since he can't kill Amara but Sam may be able to
Most Efficient - Bobby and the backhoe grave digging
The "Glad That's Over" Award - Sam and Dean know Cas is Lucifer
The "Who Knew?" Award - Dean knows his history…or at least the presidents
The "Welcome Back" Award - Bobby and Rufus / Aleks Paunovic from 2 other episodes

Best Quotes (Episode 11.16) -
1. Rufus: "You saw something in the nest, didn't you? What'd you see, Bobby?" Bobby: "My boys, both of 'em. Both of them dead. And I saw…well I don't know what the hell I saw." Rufus: "Yeah well, forget the oldest rule, Bobby." Bobby: "Are you getting soft on me, Rufus?" Rufus: "Yeah, soft this." (Rufus hangs up.) Bobby: "Idjit."
2. Bobby: "Were you ever nice?" Rufus: "1985 - worst year of my life."
3. Soul Eater Bobby: "Shoot me, you kill your friend." Rufus: "Rock salt. Bobby can handle it." SEB: "Now, now. No need to hurt anyone. Just come along with me into the nest." Rufus: "Why? So you can show me a bunch of messed up stuff in there while my fabulous body rots out here? I don't think I want to take that ride."
4. Bobby: "Been burning the midnight oil last couple of weeks. Up for days looking for ways to stop the apocalypse. Looking for anything. Sam and Dean are right in the middle of this thing. I'm worried about my boys, Rufus." Rufus: "Your boys? Hey, hey, alright. Okay, Papa Bear. But you know more than anyone, Bobby, even if we find a way to keep the wheels spinning, not everyone's gonna be on that bus ride home. Sacrifice, greater good, all that jazz." Bobby: "Yeah, I know." Rufus: "Oldest rule of hunting, Bobby. You can't save everyone."
5. Bobby: "If memory serves, things are about to get hairy." Rufus: "You want to hold my hand?"
6. Dean: "Let's get drunk and never think about this ever again."

Best Quotes (other) -
1. Dean: "Oh man, they could drink - especially Rio. I think I heard my liver screaming at me."
2. Sam: "Get this. The guy at the wake told me they're only making $25 bucks tonight." Dean: "That's it?" Sam: "Yeah." Dean: "Well that hardly seems worth it. You think about that. Town after town, putting your a** on the line for next to nothing. No money, no glory. Wow." Sam: "You realize you just literally described our jobs?"
3. Castiel/Lucifer: "Right, we'll double down on what screwed us the first time. You're really bringing your 'A' ideas today."
4. Sam: "Dean, we'll get him back. We will. We just gotta…" Dean: "Keep grinding. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how hard it gets, you gotta keep grinding." Sam: "Right." Dean: "And that's how we're gonna win. And we're gonna win. We're gonna save Cas, we're gonna ice the devil, and we're gonna shank the Darkness…and anyone who gets in our way, well God help 'em." Sam: "Damn right."



Nominated Episode



Dominion (2.01 - 2.08)

I'm not sure if it's the plot line or watching in marathon instead of weekly but I definitely like what I've seen of Dominion season 2 better than season 1. I liked season 1 but the twists in this group of episodes have been fantastic. First off, I never thought I would see a side of current Gabriel I actually like but his relationship with Michael, while intense, has improved his character tenfold. It's clear they will never agree about Alex but Gabriel is also not about to let something happen to Michael. That protective streak goes a long way for me. However it is actually Claire who has improved the most. Making her Lady of the City and hardening her up has done wonders for the character. I wish she weren't so naïve about Arika in the beginning but even that has worked itself out. I'm also glad that there won't be a baby in the mix. That seemed too much for the situation. I'm still hoping Whele dies and I'm not excited about William being back but overall the pacing and plot have been fantastic. I can't wait to finish my marathon the next chance I get.

Grade: B+ (overall)
Ranking: 4+
Audience - so far those who like epic sci-fi worlds but I'm not sure if this series ends in a cliffhanger or not

Best Reason to Watch - the twists and pacing in marathon
Best Back Story - General Riesen is NOT General Riesen
Best Entrance - Michael
Best Twist - sin eater must die
Best Snark - Gabriel
Best Action - Michael and Gabriel fight
Best Continuity - Bixby is not forgotten
Best Put Down - Zoe gives Whele tips on using a gun, including taking the safety off
Best Plan - Julian may be mad but he knows how make vengeance work for him. The electricity torture device is evil but it's stealing their bodies that make the plan brilliant.
Best Aim - Gates throws the ball to close the door
Worst Timing - It's the middle of a civil war. Should you be helping your people get food, water, and safe shelter? No, just screw each other, Claire and Gates.
Worst Fan Fiction Rip-Off - dream orgy between Gabriel and the 3 female leads of the show
Worst Return - the angel who took Clementine /William
Worst Death - Gates, who was just starting to get interesting
Biggest Idiot - Alex blows the general's cover
Biggest Shock - Claire shoots Zoe in the head
Biggest Hmm - So Gabriel raised David, the one who fought Goliath? And then Saul killed him? Say what?
Biggest Sacrifice - Noma gives up her wings to get Alex free / Gabriel electrocutes himself to free Michael
Least Trustworthy - Arika, so why are you trusting her, Claire?
Most Crazy - David Whele blows up the city and turns it into civil war
Smartest Way to Use a Traitor - Claire goes after the food after telling Arika that she's going for the armory and then blows up the area Zoe has set up outside the armory
Creepiest Place Ever- the lower angel storeroom
The "About Time" Award - Finally someone mentions Arika as a threat and possible traitor. At least Gates is smart enough NOT to buy her bull.

Best Quotes -
1. Julian: "What's the #1 killer of men? Oh yes, heart disease - after angels of course." General: "It's been a long time since I've killed an angel. The more you talk, the more I miss it."
2. Gabriel: "Oh please. If I am to die, I prefer not to hear Julian pontificate about how events didn't favor him."
3. Gates: "We need to evacuate right now." Claire: "No, evacuation sends the wrong message." Gates: "Yes, we want to live which is a message that I am perfectly okay with."
4. Michael: "What would Father say?" Gabriel: "I don't know. Let's bring Him back and find out."
5. Noma: "Three of us against the world, huh?" Alex: "The world doesn't stand a chance."



Guest Reviews



Agent of SHIELD - 3.13 - Parting Shot
BY Swanpride

Everyone who keeps up with the news saw this one coming. And yet...yet...excuse me..*deep breath*...*dabs tears*...that the entirely expected parting of Bobbi and Hunter hit me as hard as it did was a credit to the scene they built around it. Which is basically like the whole episode: Emotionally satisfying, but better not to think about it too much. But this is one of the rare occasions, in which I don't care if any of this makes logical sense. The show has become quite bold in its third season. It has started to experiment with time and different genres. This week we are still in the spy genre, but instead of the usual fun, Leverage-style romp, we get a positively claustrophobic interrogation scene. I could spend this review to gush over the details they added to show how long and harrowing the ordeal is for Bobbi and Hunter, but what stuck out to me the most is the underlying theme. Recently the words "the greater good" have become eponymous to people with questionable motivations sacrificing others. But here they are used in their original meaning, putting the heroism for a cause over the in a way selfish (but understandable) desire to protect your own loved ones with no regard for the cost. There is a distinctive difference between sacrificing others for your cause - Malick does it on a regular basis, Coulson is unwilling to do so - and deciding for yourself that a cause is worth taking the fall. It is a move I expected Bobbi to make, but it is a serious character development for Hunter. And a nice reminder what S.H.I.E.L.D. stands for. Or at least, what it stands for nowadays. This time around, there was an extraction plan.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - The feeeeels! Oh the feeeeeels!
Best Scene - The parting shots are easily one of the best scenes the show has delivered so far.
Best Character - Hunter stole the show in the end, though Bobbi came close.
Best Team-up - Bobbi and Hunter who hopefully will be able to carry their own show.
Best Effects- Shadow, shadow on the wall, you are the most impressive one of all.
Best Action - Everyone vs the shadow
Best Prop - The keyboard with the Cyrillic letters. I love it when shows don't forget that US-habits are not universal.
Most Obvious Lie - No, there is no S.H.I.E.L.D. Not at all. Only people who act like agents, suspiciously convenient sound disturbance and strange people toasting in a bar.
Best Unnamed Vacation Spot - Hunter and Bobbi should try Tahiti. I hear it is a magical place. [editorial note from Dahne - Bwaaahhhh!!!!!]
Least Missed - Lincoln. I don't dislike him, but in this particular storyline his (explained) absence was the right decision. Not just because his skills weren't needed, but also because he barely knew Bobbi and Hunter.
Most Random Observation - I am really in the mood for some mushrooms now....and a cheeseburger
My Prediction of the Week - I guess now that they have thinned out the team, the show will shift back to Daisy and her warriors. Can't wait.

Best Quote:
1. Hunter: "There is a pattern emerging and it always ends badly."
2. Hunter: "Amadeus Ravenclaw Hunter"
3. Hunter: "I am always lucky. You were good."



Criminal Minds – 11.18 – A Beautiful Disaster
BY Emma

I’ve been trying to write this for the better part of a day and nothing seems to feel right. Maybe it’s because saying goodbye, even to a fictional character, is hard or maybe it’s because the characters on this show have been a part of my life longer than most the people in my real life. I guess it’s probably a combination of the two and while goodbyes are never easy, this episode was truly a love letter to the fans and for that, I am grateful. Derek Morgan became so much more than just the muscle that kicked in doors from the earlier seasons. He became the big brother Reid never had. He became the best friend that Emily and JJ could count on when their lives were in danger. He became a trusted leader that Hotch and Rossi could rely on when other obligations took them away from the team. Finally, he shared a love with Garcia that was so profound, so pure, that all real life relationships could benefit from its emulation. Shemar Moore is the only actor to appear in every episode of the series to date and his absence will be felt for the rest of the series. I’ve always said that losing Reid would be the only thing to stop me from continuing to watch to the end of this ride, and that is still true, but the road home just got a little darker.

Overall Grade: A-

Best Reason to Watch – this is Morgan’s swan song
Best Scene – Morgan announces the baby’s birth
Biggest Waterworks Scene – Morgan and Reid goodbye / Morgan and Garcia goodbye
Biggest Awww – Derek and Savannah name the baby after Derek’s father and Reid
Most Surprising – apparently, they renovate houses to exclude landlines nowadays
Least Surprising – JJ breaks protocol and fills Derek in on the case
Best Tie In – Hotch’s experience with Foyet mirrors much of what happening to Morgan
Best Call Back – Morgan’s parting voice over is quoting something Emily told him
Worst Plan – confront the crazy trying to kill you alone
Best Therapy – home renovation, there really is no better therapy than taking a sledgehammer to a wall
Biggest Wish – a director’s cut of this episode on the DVD (17 minutes were cut)
The “Most Spoiled Child Ever” Award – Hank Spencer Morgan, with six additional “aunts/uncles”
The “Welcome Back” Award – Lance Henriksen of more movies and TV shows than I can count

Best Quotes:
1. Hotch: “You can’t investigate this.” Morgan: “Excuse me?” Hotch: “You are a material witness in your wife’s shooting and a target, not just tonight, but for the past six months.” Morgan: "Hotch, how can you of all people ask me to sit this out. You didn’t back off when Foyet attacked your family.” Hotch: “And how’d that turn out?”
2. Reid: “Then believe this, our team loves you and we are not going to stop until we find whoever did this.”
3. Morgan: “It’s a boy!”
4. Hotch: “Promise me you’ll take some time.” Morgan: “About that…”
5. Morgan (voiceover): “As a good friend of mine once said, every ending is also a beginning; we just don’t know it at the time. I’d like to believe she’s right.”



Heartland - 9.18 – Resolutions
BY Blue Star

With every season finale I always have bigger expectations and while this episode wasn’t the most exciting, it did deliver on the dramatic and scenic front. The last fifteen minutes were the best part of the episode with Adam standing up to his dad about Georgie, Lou deciding whether or not she should get back together with Peter, and Amy and Ty spending New Year's at the Dude Ranch and their anniversary gifts for each other. After this episode I am really looking forward to the next season.

Grade: A-

Best Reason To Watch – Lou’s choice and Amy’s surprise for Ty
Best Scene – The Northern Lights ending
Best Gift – How about two gifts? Ty gives Monty, the little black horse, to Amy for their anniversary and she reveals to him that she is pregnant.
Least Surprising – Amy is pregnant. I felt like this was a natural direction for the show to take now and the writers made it pretty obvious since they made a point of her being more emotional than usual. But for me this was the best least surprising scene ever. I can’t wait to see her and Ty in Season 10.
Most Beautiful – The Northern Lights and the beginning scene of Amy and Georgie riding Spirit and Phoenix through the snow
Most Disappointing – The poacher was caught by the police off screen between the last episode and this one
Best Decision – Lou tells Peter she has to move forward, not backward
Worst Decision – Adam took off his fanny pack instead of telling Georgie why he had it on him
“She’s Growing Up” Moment – Georgie tells Lou to make the decision whether or not to get back together with Peter for herself and not for her and Katie

Best Quotes:

1. Amy: “I have a gift for you too.” Ty: “You do?” Amy: “I do.” Ty: “What do you got?” Amy: “You’re gonna be a father.” Ty: “What? Amy are you…Really? Wow.”
2. Adam: “All parents are kind of messed up.”
3. Georgie: “Your dad’s right. I’m a total trouble maker.” Adam: “Yeah. Yeah, you are.”



Nashville - 4.12 - How Does It Feel to Be Free
BY Jessica VanWinkle

After last week’s wedding, this week’s episode focused on supporting characters. My favorite scenes were Scarlett and Gunnar’s. They were low drama, and I loved that they supported Will. I wanted to punch that jerk when he threw that bottle at Will and broke his nose. Will needed something good to happen to him, and luckily he has two good friends that got that jerk kicked out of the bar, and he was able to finish singing his song. And Gunnar and Erin broke up! That was definitely my favorite part of the episode. Luke Wheeler was also featured this week, and I feel like we haven’t seen him in a while. I didn’t think his scenes were particularly interesting, and I have to wonder what the point of bringing his old friend back to sing with him is? I loved that Luke talked about Kentucky, though. Will Chase, like his character, is from Kentucky, and he’s from my town (which is not a one stoplight town). It always makes me happy when my state is mentioned and it’s not portrayed in a negative way. The other story in this episode was Avery making Juliette go public with their divorce. While I do like Avery and Juliette together, I’m glad that Avery can finally tell the truth. It will be better for his mental health. But now Layla and Avery are working together, and we know Juliette won’t be happy about that. I actually liked Avery and Layla’s scenes together; I just wish Layla wasn’t using him to get back at Juliette. Overall I thought this episode was okay. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t very interesting, either. I personally prefer episodes that feature Rayna more, and I’m kind of irritated that she spent her time dealing with yet another new character. Hopefully this girl doesn't cause problems for Rayna and Deacon.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch: Supporting Characters had a chance to shine this week.
Best Scene: Scarlett and Gunnar make the homophobic jerks leave the bar while Will finally gets to sing.
Best Friendship: Scarlett, Gunnar, and Will
Best Breakup: Gunnar and Erin
Funniest Moment: Scarlett tells Gunnar she’s going on a date with the taxidermist from the wedding. The way Clare Bowed delivered her lines was fantastic.
Scene I Wanted to Fast Forward Through: Anything with Maddie and Cole. I do not care about their relationship one bit.
Who I Want to See More Of: Rayna and Deacon. Just because they’re married doesn't mean they’re not interesting anymore.

Best Quotes -
1. Gunnar: “Hot date?” Scarlett: “It’s a date.” Gunnar: “Who with?” Scarlett: “Taxidermy guy from the wedding. Don’t say nothing about it.”
2. Will: “I definitely miss the days where all I got thrown at me were panties.”
3. Luke: “I’m not interested in going with a more current or more flashy group just to fill seats. I wanna get back to being real.”
4. Will: “There ain’t nothing or nobody gonna keep me from singing ever again.”



New Shows



The Catch - 1.01 - Pilot

I really like the bones of The Catch. It's similar to White Collar if White Collar had included the pre-incarceration years of Peter chasing Neal. And if it focused on romantic betrayal. While that part is no surprise, I do love how Alice spends very little time emoangsting before going full throttle on the hunt to find her ex-fiancé. It speaks of faster plot development with hopefully not too many piled on questions. Plus revenge is more interesting to watch than wallowing. The acting is another plus. I will admit that the ratings have me a little nervous though. Generally it doesn't bother me if a show's ratings gets it pulled. I'm just happy with what I get. However this one is highly serialized so pulling it early would suck if they decided to go that way. I don't see ABC pulling a Shondaland production though so hopefully it isn't an issue. I do have a real problem though with Alice's refusal to work with the FBI on this. I know it's sensitive and embarrassing but they'll accomplish more together. Just don't have them hook up, please.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - the story concept
Best Scene - Alice goes home to find all traces of Christopher erased
Best Con - Benjamin, who is pulling off the ultimate con by agreeing to marry the con investigator. It's like Neal and Sarah from White Collar except I can actually stand Alice.
Worst Plan - Alice's pride keeps her from telling the truth about Christopher to the Feds / Why do they have him break it off with Alice before the actual con? It seems smarter to have him do it right after the con.
Least Surprising - the con man fell in love with the mark
Most Kick Butt - Alice
Most Intriguing - Who is the Benefactor and why do they need to pay him/her?
The "Welcome Back" Award - Peter Krause from Sports Night and Parenthood / Alimi Ballard from Numb3rs and Dark Angel

Best Quotes -
1. Alice: "I thought you no longer believed in the institution of marriage." Valerie: "I believe in the institution of a fine, well-tailored garment no matter what the occasion. Try it on."
2. Alice: "Christopher asked me to elope this morning." Valerie: "He what?" Sophie: "Oh my gosh, Alice." Alice: "Yeah, he wanted me to just get on a plane with him and go to the Alps." Valerie: "And you didn't go?" Alice: "I have a job." Valerie: "Oh, get out right now."
3. Reggie: "If Margot finds out - you know how she is Ben. She'll kill both of you." Ben: "No, she won't. She'll have you do it."
4. Alice: "I never know what to do at a wedding except drink too much and sleep with inappropriate people, which you're not allowed to do at your own wedding."
5. Sophie: "I'm not here to be the law. I'm here to help you when you break it, which you seem to do fairly regularly."



Heartbeat - 1.01/1.02 - Pilot / Twins

I find Dr. Pantierre to be the kind of compelling character that doesn't come around often on TV these days. She's instantly likeable with a tough spirit that fights for every patient, whether it means breaking the rules or not. Yet she does it without coming off as a petulant child (looking at you, TC from The Night Shift). Instead she's got an easy camaraderie with everyone, including her ex-husband. I like her so much that I wish she were on another show (crossover with Code Black anyone?). Unfortunately Heartbeat has a love triangle that will not go away. It's front and center so it's a no-go for me, which is too bad because the conjoined twin case was excellent. It's one I have not seen before but most importantly it did not turn the twins into freaks. It didn't make jokes at their expense. Instead they gave us a heartfelt story which in turn was beautifully acted. That's what I am looking for but oh…the love triangle. Nope.

Grade: B / A-
Ranking: 2-
Audience: those who like the relationships and love geometry of Grey's with interesting cases

Best Reason to Watch - Dr. Pantierre
Best Scene - the twins agree to be separated
Best Guest Star - Justina Machado, who plays conjoined twins
Best MacGyver - Pantierre doing surgery on a plane with a credit card and chopsticks
Best Awwww Moment - the patient's double hearts beat together and Pantierre wakes the sister up to share the good news
Best Speech - Dr. Hackett, when reminding the group that there is more than just physical considerations to separating conjoined twins
Best Bedside Manner - Pantierre with EVERYONE including her ex-husband
Biggest Eye Roll - Another love triangle. Oh joy. How original.
Best Eye Candy - the firefighters Pantierre calls to allow her to speed down the highway
Biggest What the Heck? - the stalker commits suicide in front of Pantierre to donate his heart to her patient
Most Weird Procedure - tie - defrosting a heart with a hair dryer / piggybacking one heart on another
Least Likely to be a Boy Scout - Pantierre who flies with only one outfit
Saddest Back Story - Pantierre's little sister died
The "Welcome Back" Award- Melissa George from Alias / Dave Annable from Red Band Society / Christine Willes from The 100 / D. L. Hughley from The Hughleys / Jamie Kennedy from Ghost Whisperer

Best Quotes -
1. Pantierre: "If you go to the Land of Normal, no one will be there."
2. Callahan: "It's a rash. I think I got it in South America when I was volunteering for Doctors without Borders." Ji-Sung: "Sounds more like doctors without condoms."
3. Pantierre: "You know their names?" Harrison: "You know they have ones?"
4. Harrison: "I want you to figure out what you want as long as it's not a matter of who you want. Cause otherwise I'm out. I saw the way he looked at you today. That doesn't bother me. It's the way you looked back."
5. Millicent: "I can drink you under the table anytime." Pantierre: "If I had known that about you when we were interns I would have liked you so much more."
6. Emily: "Mom was right. I am the pretty one."



Weekly Shows


The Big Bang Theory - 9.18 - The Application Deterioration
~The A plot was boring, the B plot insufferable, and the jokes were few and far between. Not their best effort.

Grade: C-
Best Reason to Fast Forward - Raj
Best Scene - Bernadette and Howard in the hallway
Best Surprise - Sheldon puts in a clause about Bernadette and Howard's baby
Best Point - Bernadette points out exactly why getting into business with Sheldon is not to be taken lightly
Most Annoying - we're still not done with the Raj love triangle
Most Healthy - the attitude about show runners and social media in the vanity card
The "I'll Believe It When I See It" Award - Sheldon has to contractually be nice to Howard? Hmm?
The "He's Not Worth It" Award - Why are these two women fighting over Raj? If he can't make up his mind about which one he wants, he's not worth it at all. The same thing goes for all love triangles everywhere. Have some self-esteem.

Best Quotes -
1. Howard: "See, he's not wearing a tie." Leonard: "Well he's a patent attorney. Maybe his tie's pending."
2. Claire: "I'm a girl. It's like page 1 out of the playbook." Raj: "Any chance you could send me a PDF of that playbook?"
3. Howard: "Here we go with the iron-clad logic again."
4. Raj: "You know I…I have too much self-esteem to let this girl guilt me into getting back together with her." Amy: "You don't need to be pregnant to smell that load of cr**."



CMBB - 1.02 - Harvested
~This one goes to maybe marathon later status although it will not be high on the list. There's just nothing new about it even with the international setting and I haven't connected with any of the characters. There's too much TV these days for an average show to retain a watch spot.

Grade: C
Best Reason to Watch - interesting look at the haves and have nots of India
Best Character Interaction - Jack and Deepak
Best Twist - the leader of the mafia is a woman
Biggest Eww - taking out the guys' eyes
Most Helpful - they all work on a bucket brigade to keep the slums from going up in flames
Best Quote - Hasina: "People here are not afraid of the law. They are afraid of me."



Crowded - 1.03 - Brother

I really love all the heart in this episode, mostly brought on by Mike's conflicting feelings over his dad's relationship with his stepbrother, Ethan. It's good to see another side of Bob and I hope with Ethan remaining for at least a few more episodes that we get to delve more into both Bob and Alice's characters. The girls continue to be mostly scene filler, especially in this episode where they are mere game night participants. They weren't at all necessary to the episode. Thankfully Martina and Mike continue to shine as parents and people. I like their dynamic best as they navigate the post-empty nest years.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Mike confronts Bob about how Bob prefers Ethan
Best Product Placement - Lucky Charms
Best Addition - Ethan
Most Intense Parent - Alice puts a tracking device on Ethan to keep tabs on him
Most Interesting Setting - the Shack of Shame
The "Welcome Back" Award - Clifford McGhee who guested on Major Crimes

Best Quotes -
1. Mike: "I hate when you win arguments using your vagina."
2. Mike: "Why do you always want us to connect? Can't we just run out the clock until he dies."
3. Shea: "I can't believe they let us win." Stella: "I guess they wanted us to feel good about ourselves. I mean who do they think they are? Alcohol?"
4. Mike: "Yours is way worse than mine. Cigarettes were never part of a balanced breakfast." Martina: "They were in the trailer park I grew up in."
5. Shea: "Yes, puberty was not my friend. Nor were any actual people."



Damien - 1.02/1.03 - Second Death / The Deliverer
~There are a lot of good things about this show. The pacing works, the intrigue is sky high, and the characters are definitely unique. Yet this show is not for me. The subject matter does nothing for me and the quasi-Biblical approach makes me cringe. It's still better than the Lucifer pilot but I'll pass.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - it's definitely intense and the bodies are stacking up
Best Scene - Damien talks about his experience when he watched war lords kill the baby
Best Addition - the new detective
Biggest What the Heck - Damien had no problem being in a church last time so why does he now?
Biggest Ewww - Rutledge grounds the bird into the grass with her shoe / death by escalator
Most Creepy - Rutledge, who even outcreeps the antichrist
Best Quote - Rutledge: "I'm part of a group that exists to protect you. There are many others who wish you'd never been born." Damien: "I'm starting to agree."



Elementary - 4.17 - You've Got Me; Who's Got You?

This is one of my favorite standalone episodes in a long time on Elementary. First, while overdone, the human pretending to be a superhero and getting killed in the line of duty offers up a lot of snark fodder. Elementary did not disappoint on this front and even delivered my favorite quote this month so far. It also provided some heartwarming moments about ordinary people making a difference. I really like how the tailor did not want to give up the neighborhood hero's identity even after death. However, the real reason this gets a grade boost is because of Joan. First, I love that she knows her comics. Second, I am flummoxed as to twist at the end. What game is she playing? I am surprised that she lied to Morland about the mole but I'm flabbergasted that she plans to use said mole. That's devious on a new level and I hope it doesn't come back to haunt her. I'd say Sherlock is rubbing off on her and not necessarily in the best way. It does spice up the procedural though.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - Sherlock snark / twist with Joan
Best Scene - Standard Bearer in the kitchen
Best Turnabout - Sherlock makes Everyone strip naked after he helps them
Best Reaction - Sherlock to Watson knowing her comic book origin stories
Biggest Twist - Watson approaches the mole in Morland's office and blackmails him into working for her
Biggest Geek Sin - Sherlock takes a rare comic out of its bag
Most Overused Word - superlative
Character of the Night - Watson

Best Quotes -
1. Standard Bearer: "How'd you do all that?" Sherlock: "I was bitten by a radioactive detective."
2. Joan: "You really think I don't the origin of the Midnight Ranger? My brother was a geek, remember? I know the origins of all of the superlative heroes." Sherlock: "Really?" Watson: "Really. Exposed to theta radiation by his scientist parents. Stung by a radioactive scorpion. Uh, nuclear power plant explosion." Sherlock: "In what universe are these people not all dead from cancer?"
3. Sherlock: "If you strip away the silly outfits, square jaws, and skull-sized breasts, there is a cardinal devotion to justice. The attention to continuity however is laughable."
4. Al: "The dead guy's real super power turned out to be being able to run faster than people trying to serve him papers."
5. Standard Bearer: "You're staring." Sherlock: "Observation must be one of your superhuman abilities. I've had masked visitors before but they came either to kill me or have sex with me. On one memorable occasion, both but you are my first superhero."



The Flash - 2.16 - Trajectory

Well that was….um, a time waster. For the second week in a row, the highlight of the episode is that a character leaves. First Jay and now Jesse. Here's hoping for neither to pop up again. Other than that, it's yet another speedster on tap. This time she's a female villain Road Runner and yet she's not any more interesting than her male counterparts. Less so even. Crazy for crazy's sake can only get you so far. There's no entertainment value in it after a while and this one lost appeal quicker than most. I think it's because she had zero sense of humor. Even Old Sharkhead got a zinger or two. This one got a Law & Order reference though, which is so meta it made me laugh. Got to love Jesse Martin's reaction.

Grade: C

Best Reason to Watch - Um, Team Flash gets caught up to the audience
Best Scene - Barry jumps the bridge
Best Intuition - Team Flash gets to Jay being Zoom really quickly, as in Flash speed quickly and for no real reason
Best Meta - Liza brings up Law & Order
Best Plan - Cisco brings the drones and saves Barry
Biggest Say What? - Why does Jesse have to ask Wells if she can go out? How old is this woman? I thought she was early college age at lowest but they're acting like she's a middle schooler.
Biggest Hypocrite - Wells, but at least he realizes it
Biggest Huh? - Why did Eliza go poof again? Cellular degeneration doesn't quite cut it as an explanation. I'm going with Ye Olde Cautionary Tale Plot Device.
Most Awkward - Iris and Barry talking about being married
Least Interesting - crazy for crazy's sake makes for the least exciting motivation
The "Get Over It" Award - Jesse, please shut up. You sound like a whiny teenager so stuff it.
The "Save It for Later" Award - We need the "Bad Flash" moniker for the inevitable episodes when Barry gets drugged/poisoned/freaky mind warped into his evil side. You know it's coming. It's a comic book staple.
The "Second Verse Same as the First???" Award - I'm not buying that we are doing season 1 over again. We already had this plotline of mentor turned betrayer. There has to be something more behind the Jay twist, like one is from Earth 1 and the other from Earth 2. Or Earth 32000. Who knows these days?
The "I'm with You" Award - Barry, I feel your frustration. This whole plot line has me inwardly screaming.
The "Good Riddance" Award - Jesse leaves. My impatience largely goes with her. Adios, brat.

Best Quotes -
1. Barry: "I'm sorry Miss Underage. None of us plan of getting murdered by your father tonight."
2. Cisco: "It didn't look this deep on the map." Barry: "That's because maps are flat."
3. Jesse: "How'd it go?" Wells: "Well he's not a red splat on the side of a mountain." Cisco: "That's our new definition of success?" Wells: "It's one of them."
4. Wells: "Nothing in life is promised except death." Barry: "Edgar Allan Poe?" Wells: "Kanye West."
5. Eliza: "Wow - how very Law & Order of you, Caitlin."



Fresh Off the Boat (2.13 -2.17) - Doing It Right

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - Jessica
Best Scene - Louis' kids tell him that he doesn't need to entertain them
Worst Revenge - cyberbullying
Biggest Laugh - the Orlando police department's new cyber division is headed up by a teen with a Slurpie
Biggest Hmm - How does a genius like Evan NOT know how to put on and take off his own shirt?
Most Harsh - Eddie when he thinks Dave is encroaching on his girlfriend
Most Unique Apology - Eddie does it over the phone through song
Most Interesting Guest Star - Billy Jean King
Most in Need of a Hobby - Louis
Most Flexible - Louis' Kid-n-Play moves
Worst Twist - For some reason Louis is suddenly an incompetent parent. What the heck?
Strangest Twist - Evan is addicted to the pog game
Nicest Kid on the Planet - Emery
The "Welcome Back" Award (characters) - Mey-Mey and Gus
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - Angelique Cabral from my beloved Enlisted

Best Quotes -
1. Jessica: "Louis, I was almost not right. I shouldn't keep you from talking to somebody about dumb things. I don't want to be that person." Louis: "You mean the wet blanket wife." Jessica: "No, I mean the person you talk to about dumb things."
2. Jessica: "Only one Chinese boy can tarnish the Huang family name and that's Eddie. Please take down your website."
3. Jessica: "Well flight attendants don't even get a seat on the plane. They walk back and forth pushing a cart. They're the homeless of the sky."
4. Reba: "So prolific. You're like the Stephen King of love."
5. Jessica: "You're still in shock from the pain if you think this is my fault."



The Goldbergs - 3.19 - Magic is Real

I'm not a fan of magic but I am a fan of strong parent and child relationships and that's where The Goldbergs excels. Again my favorite scenes were between Murray and Barry, but Beverly and Adam ran a close second. I didn't even miss the significant lack of Erica time this episode. I also like the idea that they are making Laney smarter, especially after several episodes in which that didn’t seem to be the case. Adam's heartbreak is less interesting but it's definitely relatable. Who wasn't there in middle school or high school? I like how Beverly handled it in the end and how even though they make fun of it, Adam really did need some Mom time to gain perspective. The Goldbergs are still coming through with the heart.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - the parents
Best Scene - Murray pep talks Barry into trying
Best Revenge - Erica sics Beverly on Adam after he goes into her room
Best Mom - Beverly, not for rescuing Adam with the magic but for helping him realize that love will come again
Best Girlfriend - Laney, who wears the ridiculous front pack for Barry
Best Magic - the ending credits
Best Nostalgia - Erica's wall of 80's hunks
Worst Nostalgia - Robin Leach
Worst Study Plan - studying by sleeping
Biggest Awww - Barry admits he's scared of being left behind

Best Quotes -
1. Murray: "Look I know I said that they only thing I care about is college but what I really care about is whether or not you're happy." Barry: "It's going to be hard to be happy when I'm stuck in this town because I blew the test." Murray: "That's not true, Barry. If you ask me, the way your brain works - it's like no one else's."
2. Murray: "Trust me. I think you're going to surprise everybody and mostly yourself if you'll just try."
3. Mirsky: "Wow, good trick. You made the girl completely disappear."
4. Barry: "First I'd like you all to know that you're all are the dearest and most important people in my life and everything about you disgusts me because you're all human garbage." Erica: "Appreciate the honesty. Can we go?"
5. Adam: "We were so good together. How will I ever find that again?" Beverly: "Trust me. You will." Adam: "What makes you so sure?" Beverly: "Well there's one thing the Amazing Adam's taught me. There's plenty of magic in the world."



iZombie - 2.15 - He Blinded Me…with Science

The gist of what I got out of this episode is that science brain and stalker brain are very similar. Good to know. I'm less excited about Drake being kidnapped since he's rapidly becoming the most interesting character in the whole show and the one most likely to connect all the different subplots together. Good news though is that Gilda got more interesting in about 30 seconds. I can't wait to see what Gilda Zombie is likely to do. Please do not let Vaughn kill her off or send Major after her. I really, really want her to kill him. Not turn him into a zombie, mind you, but to outright tear out his throat and then gnaw on his brain. I cannot explain how much that man needs to die for being a total waste of screen time every single time he's around. Such a snoozer of a villain.

Grade: C+

Best Reason to Watch - Gilda
Best Scene - zombie in the basement
Best Moment - Vaughn's elevator plays "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"
Best Pun - the tag after the title sequence says, "Feed me, See Morgue."
Worst Pun - Cinder Ella
Worst Father Ever - Vaughn, who leaves his daughter to be eaten by zombies
Least Awesome Move - Major kidnaps Drake so he's likely not going to be on my screen again anytime soon
Least Interesting - the case of the week
Biggest Laugh - Blaine and his brains entrance
Biggest Wow - Liv looks a whole lot different in her new guise
Most Likely to Get Revenge - Gilda on her father and rightly so

Best Quotes -
1. Blaine: "Well hopefully it works because it would be a real shame if your local brain supplier died and you ended up with a horde of zombies running around Seattle just as the Mariners were set to contend."
2. Ravi: "Rationalization isn't just a river in Egypt. No. No wait, that's denial."
3. Ravi: "What does it mean that I find your new look weird and creepy?" Liv: "It means that you spend too much time with the dead."
4. Blaine: "Kind of skimping on the silver lining here, Doc."



Scorpion - 2.20 - Djibouti Call

On the plus side, there's Tim. On the negative side, absolutely nothing about this episode makes any sense at all. There's the fact that Team Scorpion is in the field at all for first things. Who's brain dead decision was that and who did they sleep with to get their job? They are obviously incompetent. Seriously folks, when you put Walter and Toby in charge of taking down the muscle and Sylvester in charge of handling priceless artifacts there is a BIG problem with your plan. The normally witty banter was less fresh tonight too. I have no idea why but usually I have a whole page of favorite quotes but in this one I was struggling to get enough.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch / Best Addition - Tim, who is good in a fight and seems to respect the talents of Team Scorpion. Most importantly, I don't think he's evil which is a big change from their other government connections.
Best Scene / Biggest Laugh - Toby dancing on the table
Best Pep Talk - Sylvester to Heywood
Best Continuity - Tim brings up the sinkhole episode (still my favorite)
Best Sound Proofing - that shack of antiquities in the middle of the desert has one heck of a soundproofing system given that they cannot hear a bowl being broken, a fight ensue, or Sylvester screaming
Worst Somewhat New Addition - Heywood is Ray all over again but more annoying and less useless
Worst Plan - Why are Sly, Walter, or Toby even in the field? None of this requires any of their skills. It requires the skills of highly trained military personnel. You know the kind that can be found on…I don't know, a military base. Which leads us to…
…Least Common Sense - To be fair, there is a lot in any episode of Scorpion that could win this category. In tonight's episode, it's sending Paige in undercover. They are at a freaking military post. Are you telling me there is not one female soldier there capable of doing the job? They choose to send in a civilian with no training and no way of defending herself against someone who has already killed a soldier? Okay then. Please rejoin us, common sense.
Least Illuminating - overhearing Toby's Djibouti jokes
Most Pathetic - Walter and Toby taking on the guard
Most Improved - Walter, who could not toss a bean bag two episodes ago, has suddenly gotten perfect aim in these last two
Biggest Hmm - Why are the Feds hiring Scorpion for something not in the US? Why are the Feds involved at all? Shouldn't the cover story be military or CIA instead of the FBI?
Biggest Face Palm - Happy, why are you giving Sylvester the real bowl after he broke the fake one? Do the words "priceless" and "ancient" mean nothing to you all?

Best Quotes -
1. Cabe: "Thank goodness, the cavalry's here."
2. Ralph: "Just dance monkey." Happy: "Oh a 10 year-old just called you a monkey. Life working out how you planned."
3. Heywood: "Um, who here has the law degree?" Toby: "I hope that was rhetorical."
4. Toby: "What's up honey bear, kitten pie? Happy: "Nothing stupid dummy, moron jerk. You know why I'm annoyed." Toby: "I'm terrified that I don't."
5. Sylvester: "I know what a boilerplate is. Why does it seem like you just recently learned the term?"



Second Chance (1.06-1.11)

I have to say the first half of this series was better than the second and it is all because of the breakdown in Mary and Otto's sibling bond because of a freaking romance plot. Argh! The best thing about the show was the siblings so to tear them down and for such a annoying ship was beyond irritating. I do like how the father and son bond was slowly repaired though and the sci-fi of it all was great. I never once felt bored by it and I rarely had major logic issues. I even liked where it ended. Since I have no affinity for Jimmy at all, I am okay with him becoming the Hulk and I love that Otto is not gone forever. That said, I do not need a season 2 so when this is cancelled I won't feel like I missed out. This was good as a one and done.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - it's an interesting sci-fi concept that isn't overdone and has fewer logic gaps than most genre shows
Best Scene - Mary reassures Otto that she won't leave him with just one glance
Best Character Interaction - Mary and Otto
Best Twist - Alexa is like Jimmy
Best Twin Moment - both Jimmy and Duval put their elbows on a suspect's shoulders to keep him from leaving / drink in sync
Best Rouse - Alexa drops her pills in order to take down her guard
Biggest Shock - Otto commits suicide and kills Connor too
Worst Plan - Jimmy shows up with the cops. Even though he knows he's been made, no need to confirm it.
Least Surprising - the mutant killer is part of Connor's science project / Gracie's bad boy boyfriend works for Connor
Most Common Sense - George isn't sure he wants to scientifically become young
Most Interesting Twist - Otto is now Arthur
Most Obnoxious - Jimmy, but he's getting better
Most Manipulative - Connor, who preys on Otto's vulnerabilities
Most Creepy - the doctor making monsters
Most Annoying Subplot - Mary and Otto fighting, which is even more irksome since their sibling bond was the whole reason I enjoyed the first part of this series
Most Annoying Plot Device - the person with information stalls until she gets run over before giving the most important info
The "Well There Goes That" Award - I was all sympathetic with Otto and then he hurts a child. Nope, sympathy gone.
The "Make It Stop" Award - this romance between Mary and Jimmy is suffocating the whole show
The "Welcome Back" Award - Taylor Cole, formerly Sarah on Supernatural / Rick Peters from Dexter and Veronica Mars / Breckin Meyer from Franklin & Bash

Best Quotes -
1. Otto: "I don't hate her. I should have let her die so that she would have never hated me. Now she does because we're not gods. We're monsters.
2. Jimmy: "Hey kiddo. We kicked some a**, didn't we?" Duval: "Yeah, I love you too."
Jimmy: "How'd you die?" Alexa: "Slipped coming out of the shower. George always wanted me to get one of those suction grab bars, but they were so ugly." Jimmy: "Not as ugly as a cracked skull. I bought two of those things right off the TV."
3. Employee: "The tank, what does it do?" Mary: "It interfaces with the user's genetic structure." Employee: "Yeah but what does it do?" Mary: "It gives $1,000,000 cash to the first person who opens the code."
4. Jimmy: "Just go. I got to be with my son. Go be with your daughter."
5. Connor: "Hey Otto, you know I wouldn't leave you. You know that, right?" Otto: "I know Connor. You're all I have."



Stitchers - 2.01 - 2.0

Stitchers was a surprise hit for me last year. It took me awhile to get into the series but once I did I was hooked. That's why this premiere was a bit of a disappointment. First off, nothing from the cliffhanger ended up mattering at all. That is no surprise of course but it's irksome all the same. Why even bother having a cliffhanger? Also while I am intrigued by the new Kirsten, I am afraid that we are going to get a decade's worth of emoangst and smothering anxiety. Like Cameron said, "That's no way to live." It doesn't make for interesting TV either. I do like how the situation allows Camille to be there for Kirsten though as they have the best character interactions. Cameron though is doubly as irritating as he was last year. If he continues to do stupid things, I am going to root for his death for real…or at least for him to be shot. Geniuses acting like morons do nothing for me…except when they are from Caltech and often not even then.

Grade: C+

Best Reason to Watch - both Kirsten and Cameron seem to have been rebooted which could lead to more interesting character interactions
Best Scene - Kirsten and Camille talk feelings
Best Improvement - Kirsten actually has feelings
Worst "Improvement" - Cameron's new fearlessness
Worst Conflict - the power struggle with the new NSA bodyguards is tiresome already
Biggest Twist - Turner's dead (and a bad twist at that)
Biggest Dummies - the NSA guys that allowed themselves to get locked into the panic room / Cameron quoting movies to the cops
Biggest Say What? - Why is Kirsten so shocked to find out about sandalwood? It's a pretty common scent so it's not like it means her dad is not truly dead. He could be alive. It's a genre show but the memory itself shouldn't warrant such a reaction.
Biggest Bullies - Linus and Cameron making fun of the body guard's IQ
Most Devious - Camille, who can get into anything and do it with style
Least Surprising - the cliffhanger meant nothing
The "Welcome Back" Award - C. Thomas Howell from my childhood

Best Quotes -
1. New Guy: "Did she have to eat his brain?" Maggie: What? No! She's not a zombie. This is science."
2. Kirsten: "This whole emotions thing, how do you deal with it?" Camille: "Usually poorly."
3. Linus: "How's he doing?" Kirsten: "He's fine." Linus: "Good because as soon as he wakes up I'm gonna kill him." Camille: "The real question is how are you doing?" Kirsten: "You know me." Camille: "I thought I did. That's why I'm asking."
4. Cameron: "I barely survived having one mother. I don't need another one."
5. Maggie: "Just because the badge is in the shape of a shield doesn't mean it is one. Protect yourself. Don't do anything stupid."



Younger - (2.09 - 2.12)

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - so many things happen in these final episodes of the season
Best Scene / The "Good Riddance" Award - Thad dies. No one misses him.
Best Ultimatum - Liza tells Thad to tell Kelsey about his cheating or she will
Best Friend - Maggie / karma
Best Spoof - Game of Thrones
Biggest What the Heck?????? - Thad dies, just like that. No warning, just splat.
Second Biggest What the Heck? - Liza chooses to run instead of telling Diana and Kelsey the truth
Biggest Yikes - Liza's princess costume
Biggest Mess - Liza's life
Biggest Idiot - Kelsey for getting engaged to Thad in the first place
Biggest Ugh - totally did not need even a hint of bestiality in this show - blech!
Least Surprising - Liza is picked as the lead role in a publicity stunt
Least Welcome - Thad's twin
Most Potentially Complicated - rebound sex with your ex-husband
Worst Advice - "Get under someone to get over someone."
Worst Way to Retain Employees - kissing them…unless you really want a sexual harassment suit
Worst Walk of Shame - having to go out the fire escape when your ex's new girlfriend shows up
The "Say What?" Award - Thad is the one who cheated and somehow that's Liza's fault? How?
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Michelle
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - Matthew Morrison from Glee

Best Quotes -
1. Kelsey: "I know where she's working - at a department store at Paramus Mall in New Jersey." Charles: "What?" Diana: "I suspect there's drugs involved in this story."
2. Diana: "Congratulations on your starter marriage."
3. Diana: "Kelsey's little tantrum sent Stephanie Smith running right to Random House." Liza: "Well I guess she should have seen that one coming, right?"
4. Liza: "I got an offer elsewhere and I'm going to accept it. This isn't how I wanted to leave but unfortunately I have to…today." Diana: "Liza, are you sure you know what you're doing?" Liza: "I do and I just want to thank you for everything. I appreciate it all more than you'll ever know."
5. Kelsey: "The last time someone handed me a pamphlet with that look in their eye it was a Jehovah's Witness on the subway."
6. Kelsey: "No, this is my fault. I'm the reason she left and I can't get her to talk to me." Charles: "Diana?" Diana: "Don't look at me. I'm not going to New Jersey."



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted", Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
Recent Reviews (All Reviews)



Monday, March 28, 2016

Quote of the Week - Week of March 20





A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.




The Americans -
1. Gabriel: "Why don't we have you do it, before they tell me to have you do it?" Phillip: "Why don't we have you do it until they tell you to have me do it?" (Bradley Adams)
2. Elizabeth: "We're in trouble." (Bradley Adams)



Bates Motel -
1. Norman: "Stuffing me in here, you have painted me in a corner that I cannot get out of. I have never been so disappointed with anyone" (Nirat Anop)
2. Norman: "I have reason to believe my mother might be insane and might be killing people." Dr. Edwards: "You know if you make that accusation, I have to report it to the authorities." Norman: "I do." (Nirat Anop)
3. Nurse: "There's a morning yoga class outside if you'd care to join. It'd be good for you. Very relaxing." Norman: "I'd rather stick hot pins in my eyes, but thank you." (Nirat Anop)



The Big Bang Theory -
1. Howard: "See, he's not wearing a tie." Leonard: "Well he's a patent attorney. Maybe his tie's pending."
2. Claire: "I'm a girl. It's like page 1 out of the playbook." Raj: "Any chance you could send me a PDF of that playbook?"
3. Howard: "Here we go with the iron-clad logic again."



The Catch -
1. Alice: "I thought you no longer believed in the institution of marriage." Valerie: "I believe in the institution of a fine, well-tailored garment no matter what the occasion. Try it on."
2. Alice: "Christopher asked me to elope this morning." Valerie: "He what?" Sophie: "Oh my gosh, Alice." Alice: "Yeah, he wanted me to just get on a plane with him and go to the Alps." Valerie: "And you didn't go?" Alice: "I have a job." Valerie: "Oh, get out right now."
3. Reggie: "If Margot finds out - you know how she is Ben. She'll kill both of you." Ben: "No, she won't. She'll have you do it."



Crowded -
1. Mike: "I hate when you win arguments using your vagina."
2. Mike: "Why do you always want us to connect? Can't we just run out the clock until he dies."
3. Shea: "I can't believe they let us win." Stella: "I guess they wanted us to feel good about ourselves. I mean who do they think they are? Alcohol?"



Daredevil -
1. Karen Page: "Look into your own eyes and tell me you are not heroic, that you have not endured, or suffered, or lost the things you care about most. And yet, here you are, a survivor of Hell’s Kitchen. The hottest place anyone’s ever known. A place where cowards don’t last long. So, you must be a hero. We all are. Some more than others, but none of us alone. Some bloody their fists trying to keep the Kitchen safe. Others bloody the streets in the hope they can stop the tide, the crime, the cruelty, the disregard for human life all around them. But this is Hell’s Kitchen. Angel or devil, rich or poor, young or old, you live here. You didn’t choose this town. It chose you. Because a hero isn’t someone who lives above us, keeping us safe. A hero is not a god or an idea. A hero lives here, on the street, among us, with us. Always here but rarely recognized. Look in the mirror and see yourself for what you truly are. You’re a New Yorker. You’re a hero. This is your Hell’s Kitchen. Welcome home." (Nirat Anop)
2. Frank Castle: "You know what I think of you, hero? 
I think you’re a half-measure. 
I think you’re a man who can’t finish the job. I think that you’re a coward. 
You know the one thing that you just can’t see? 
You know you’re one bad day away from being me." (Nirat Anop)
3. Frank Castle: "One batch, two batch. Penny and dime, you know. It was her favorite book. You know, you…you gotta cross the ocean…and go fight. You see…whole time you’re thinking you’re gonna be scared, right? But then, you’re not. See, that part of it was always easy for me. Killing. Even watching my buddies die, it just…it didn’t mean nothing. The first time I got scared was on a plane on the way home. I kept thinking God was gonna pull the rug out from under us, you know? Sh**, that’s his kind of funny, you know? But the plane landed safe and we were home. Driving through traffic. Yeah, you pass fast food and donut shops and all that…that greasy sh**. It’s the sh** you fought to protect and then the car stops. We were outside her school. I get to her classroom, right? She’s in there, but she’s got no idea. She’s got no idea that Daddy’s home. I walk in, these kids, they’re not even studying, they’re doing some kind of yoga. Yeah. You know? She’s there. She’s doing her poses, you know. She’s bending, and, you know, she’s moving. She looks like a flower. Yeah. And you know you can’t even understand it, you know, how does something like that have…How does something that beautiful…How does that…does that come from me, you know? And she looks up and she sees me. I see her. By God, that’s real. That’s real, Red. Boom. In an instant she’s across that classroom floor, she’s in my arms. She’s squeezing me so tight, I swear I was gonna bust a rib, you know? We just stayed there like that, we’re holding each other. Teacher, she’s filming the whole thing on her phone, you know, she’s gonna put it on YouTube or some shit. She can’t hold the thing steady because, you know, she’s…she’s bawling so hard, and the kids are all wailing, you know, they’re screaming. And me? Sh**, I’m the worst of all. I’m a…I’m a rubber-face clown, you know. I cried so hard. But not my baby. Not my girl. You know, she’s my girl. She’s…She’s not crying, she’s holding me up. My girl, she’s keeping me on my feet. She says, 'I knew it, Daddy. I knew it.' And then we go home. Wife, the boy. Place is the exact same. It’s like it’s just holding its breath waiting for me to get back, you know? Then it hit me. All of it, you know. The first time I felt how tired I was, you know, I was just…tired, you know? You…you ever been tired, Red? So you know. It’s just, I couldn’t do nothing, you know? All the things…I couldn’t take my wife to bed. Ball with the boy, Sh**…I was too tired. I couldn’t even drink a goddamn beer, you know. But not her. My girl was up. See, she wanted me to, uh…she wanted me to tuck her in. She…She outgrew it, she knew it but she didn’t care. She wanted it. She had that book. Her favorite book was out on her pillows. One Batch, Two Batch…Penny and Dime. Yeah. I read her that book every night before this sh**. I read it every single night, but, see, that was over now because Daddy’s home now. She looked at me and she begged me, Red. She begged. She begged. I said, 'No. Daddy’s too tired, see. But I’ll…I’ll read it to you tomorrow night. I’ll read to you tomorrow night, I promise.' Yeah. Never think that…for her there was not gonna be any tomorrow, see. The last time I’d see her, I’d be holding her lifeless body in my arms. Meat was spilling out of her, Red. The place where her face used to be. Yeah. I think I’m done…Red. I think I’m done." (Nirat Anop)



Elementary -
1. Standard Bearer: "How'd you do all that?" Sherlock: "I was bitten by a radioactive detective."
2. Joan: "You really think I don't the origin of the Midnight Ranger? My brother was a geek, remember? I know the origins of all of the superlative heroes." Sherlock: "Really?" Watson: "Really. Exposed to theta radiation by his scientist parents. Stung by a radioactive scorpion. Uh, nuclear power plant explosion." Sherlock: "In what universe are these people not all dead from cancer?"
3. Sherlock: "If you strip away the silly outfits, square jaws, and skull-sized breasts, there is a cardinal devotion to justice. The attention to continuity however is laughable."



The Flash -
1. Barry: "I'm sorry Miss Underage. None of us plan of getting murdered by your father tonight."
2. Cisco: "It didn't look this deep on the map." Barry: "That's because maps are flat."
3. Jesse: "How'd it go?" Wells: "Well he's not a red splat on the side of a mountain." Cisco: "That's our new definition of success?" Wells: "It's one of them."



The Goldbergs -
1. Murray: "Look I know I said that they only thing I care about is college but what I really care about is whether or not you're happy." Barry: "It's going to be hard to be happy when I'm stuck in this town because I blew the test." Murray: "That's not true, Barry. If you ask me, the way your brain works - it's like no one else's."
2. Murray: "Trust me. I think you're going to surprise everybody and mostly yourself if you'll just try."
3. Mirsky: "Wow, good trick. You made the girl completely disappear."



Grey's Anatomy -
1. Webber to Avery: "You found out late. I found out decades late." (Jimmy Ryan)
2. Meredith: “It hurts to tear that bandage off. We don’t want to see what’s underneath. But maybe it’s not the fear of the pain that holds us back. Maybe we’re really afraid to see if the wound underneath is still open or if it might actually be healing.” (Nirat Anop)
3. Amelia: "What are you gonna wear?" Meredith: "Uh, sports bra and granny panties apparently, or whatever is in my locker from yesterday. Why am I even doing this?" (Nirat Anop)



Heartbeat -
1. Pantierre: "If you go to the Land of Normal, no one will be there."
2. Callahan: "It's a rash. I think I got it in South America when I was volunteering for Doctors without Borders." Ji-Sung: "Sounds more like doctors without condoms."
3. Pantierre: "You know their names?" Harrison: "You know they have ones?"



iZombie -
1. Blaine: "Well hopefully it works because it would be a real shame if your local brain supplier died and you ended up with a horde of zombies running around Seattle just as the Mariners were set to contend."
2. Ravi: "Rationalization isn't just a river in Egypt. No. No wait, that's denial."
3. Ravi: "What does it mean that I find your new look weird and creepy?" Liv: "It means that you spend too much time with the dead."



Limitless -
1. Boyle: "What's going on, Reb?" Rebecca: "What do you mean?" Boyle: "I mean something's off ever since Finch got back from Russia." Rebecca: "Well, I think he's just trying to get back to normal. You know, he's overwhelmed." Boyle: "I don't mean with him. I mean you. I see the way you're watching him all the time. Secret meetings with Ike and Mike. Those are about Brian. You think something's going on with him. [...] Okay, okay. You know, you never used to keep things from me. Not things like this. And I never used to lie to you, either."
Rebecca: "Lie to me? Where did you get that?" Boyle: "I found it. After Casey died. I don't know why I didn't turn it in. You know how I feel about the stuff. But I got tempted. I guess. I thought about giving it to my mother. Give her one last great day. But it's just been burning a hole in my pocket. 'Cause it's the first time I've ever done anything like this. Gone against the CJC. And it's the only secret I've ever kept from you. And I don't like it. I don't like keeping secrets. Do whatever you need to do." Rebecca: "It's not that I don't trust you, Boyle. It's just that I-I had to figure out what I was dealing with, so I could know what to do with it. I-I didn't want to put you in the middle of it." Boyle: "Just tell me what's going on. [...] Okay, okay." Rebecca: "You're right. Wait, you're right. There is something going on with Brian." Boyle: "You haven't gone to Naz with any of this?" Rebecca: "Well, what if I'm wrong?" Boyle: "You're not often wrong, Rebecca. So stop waiting around for some smoking gun. Because at that point, it might be too late, and this could come crashing down on all of us." (Laura Markus)
2. Brian: "Thus, welcome to the first official convening of the Bruntouchables. Way to represent, James; since the whole Top Ten affair. Which, by the by, we totally would have finished if we weren't cut off prematurely. Okay. Guys, we have a murder. And none of our suspects are the type to kill someone on their own. So, the way I see it, we have a very particular Venn diagram. Circle number one: people who kill for money. Circle two: people with the expertise to remove a kidney without doing undue damage to the organ. We'll call that "skillz" with a Z. Now, I'm guessing that there's not enough of that particular kind of murder-for-hire work to pay the bills. So, they probably get most of their money doing medical work. Off the books, of course." Rebecca: "So, someone gets shot doing something that they shouldn't, they can't go to a hospital, so they get someone to patch it up quietly."
Brian: "Exactly. That's exactly right. So, to find that person we need a wound." Boyle: "I'm sorry. What kind of wound are we talking about?" Brian: "Well, I mean, in order to lure our underground-doctor-cum-hitman out of hiding, we need to offer him... Or her! Sorry." Rebecca: "Oh, my God." Brian: "The possibility of some medical work. I was just thinking (imitates gunshot) straight through-and-through. Back of the thigh, mostly damage to the fatty tissue, you'll be back playing tennis in no time." James: "Why are you looking at me?" Brian: "Uh, because, James, you're the only one that works sitting down. We have to investigate, Stavros has to mop." Rebecca: "Uh, uh, Brian. There's no way I can allow you to discharge a firearm for the purpose of hurting a Bureau employee." James: "Thank you." Brian: "How about a bladed weapon?" James: "Oh, forget it. I hate knives." Mike: "I run triathlons." Ike: "I dance." Stavros: "I'll do it." Boyle: "Stavros!" Stavros: "I have no feeling in my left leg anyway. From Macedonia." Brian: "And I look forward to hearing all about that. Mike, Ike, you guys take care of the "hole" of it all. James, do me a favour. Put the word out on the, you know, seedy underworld. And we should have a line out to our guy in no time." Mike: "And what if we don't?" Rebecca: "Brian? Even if he is volunteering, there's no way I can allow anyone to be injured." Brian: "You're right. As an agent of the FBI, you need to voice your objection. That's very responsible." Stavros: [stabs his right leg] "Aah!" (everyone is screaming) (Laura Markus)
3. Rebecca: "I've watched the video from this elevator so many times it's pretty much burned into my vision, and I still can't figure out what they're saying. And their body language, the way they're so not looking at each other. Something's not right." Ike: "You've had us tailing him since he got back, and so far we haven't seen any evidence of him communicating with anyone suspicious." Mike: "And with the new babysitters Naz has on him, I-I don't see how he can." Rebecca: "Well, it doesn't mean he hasn't already. All that time he spent out of pocket, literally anything could have happened while he was in Russia." Mike: "You think Finch was selling FBI secrets? To Morra or to the Russians?" Rebecca: "I don't know what I think. But I know if it involves Jarrod Sands, it almost definitely involves Senator Morra. You guys, if he is selling confidential information, to senators or anyone else, we owe it to ourselves to get in front of it. And if he isn't, then we owe it to Brian." (Laura Markus)



Once Upon a Time -
1. Milah: "So you have been with my former lover and my son. " Emma: "Ugh!" Rumple: " I am sure we will all laugh ourselves sick about this one day. " ~Rumple introduces Milah to Emma Swan and being Rumple he leaves out no details. (Donna Chidley)



Scorpion -
1. Heywood Morris: "Well, it's been a while since I looked at some of my old law books. They are full of information." (Prpleight)
2. Toby: "Cabe dared me, on the plane, that I couldn't eat 8 boxes of saltines before midnight. I'm already 2 boxes in." Cabe: "Long flight. I needed something to shut him up." (Prpleight)
3. Cabe: "Thank goodness, the cavalry's here." ~I adore how drily Cabe said this line and the look that accompanied it. (Dahne)
4. Ralph: "Just dance monkey." Happy: "Oh a 10 year-old just called you a monkey. Life working out how you planned."
5. Heywood: "Um, who here has the law degree?" Toby: "I hope that was rhetorical."



Second Chance -
1. Otto: "I don't hate her. I should have let her die so that she would have never hated me. Now she does because we're not gods. We're monsters.
2. Jimmy: "Hey kiddo. We kicked some a**, didn't we?" Duval: "Yeah, I love you too."
Jimmy: "How'd you die?" Alexa: "Slipped coming out of the shower. George always wanted me to get one of those suction grab bars, but they were so ugly." Jimmy: "Not as ugly as a cracked skull. I bought two of those things right off the TV."
3. Employee: "The tank, what does it do?" Mary: "It interfaces with the user's genetic structure." Employee: "Yeah but what does it do?" Mary: "It gives $1 million cash to the first person who opens the code."



Stitchers -
1. New Guy: "Did she have to eat his brain?" Maggie: What? No! She's not a zombie. This is science."
2. Kirsten: "This whole emotions thing, how do you deal with it?" Camille: "Usually poorly."
3. Linus: "How's he doing?" Kirsten: "He's fine." Linus: "Good because as soon as he wakes up I'm gonna kill him." Camille: "The real question is how are you doing?" Kirsten: "You know me." Camille: "I thought I did. That's why I'm asking."



Supergirl -
1. Cat: "I suppose if Mel Gibson can present at the Golden Globes then Supergirl can win the city back. This too shall pass." ~Cat Grant in response to if Supergirl can get back the public's trust. (Donna Chidley)



Supernatural -
1. Rufus: "You saw something in the nest, didn't you? What'd you see, Bobby?" Bobby: "My boys, both of 'em. Both of them dead. And I saw…well I don't know what the hell I saw." Rufus: "Yeah well, forget the oldest rule, Bobby." Bobby: "Are you getting soft on me, Rufus?" Rufus: "Yeah, soft this." (Rufus hangs up.) Bobby: "Idjit."
2. Bobby: "Were you ever nice?" Rufus: "1985 - worst year of my life."
3. Soul Eater Bobby: "Shoot me, you kill your friend." Rufus: "Rock salt. Bobby can handle it." SEB: "Now, now. No need to hurt anyone. Just come along with me into the nest." Rufus: "Why? So you can show me a bunch of messed up stuff in there while my fabulous body rots out here? I don't think I want to take that ride."



Underground -
1. Noah: "One of our own out there being sold off, you in here starching your shirts. Preening like a peacock." Cato: "I ain't care much for that girl anyway. She was lazy even before she kilt that baby." Noah: "You need to get Zeke out the box." Cato: "Why don't you do it yourself?" Noah: "Oh, I would if I could, but you the one got Bill's ear." Cato: "And that's because I don't go sticking my neck out for nobody." Noah: "You think I like coming down here asking you for anything? We need him. He part of the group." Cato: "From what I see your group ain't made of nothing but b**. And that's before you let women and little girls run with us. I guarantee each and every one of 'em gone fold under the slightest pressure." Noah: "Zeke nearly broke a wagon and Bill's nose for a wife he ain't even talking to. Didn't fold for nothin. That kind of strength. That kind of loyalty. We out there on the road facing God knows what you rather have Zeke by your side or what?" Cato: "You want him free? I think it's about time you teach me that song." (Prpleight)



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
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