A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
Derry Girls - Folie-lex
1. Sister Michael: "The conflict here has led to so many terrible atrocities...and now we must add your play to that list. Just one message this morning girls, quite an important one: as Jenny's AWFUL PLAY just alluded to a referendum is about to take place, the outcome of which could change the course of history. To those of you who have already turned eighteen I strongly urge you to exercise your right to vote. It's your future. Take it seriously. On the other hand, and I cannot stress this enough, I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in any of your other so called rights. I don't want to hear your thoughts on the workload, or the uniform, or the fact that you have to occasionally do my ironing. Our Lady Emaculate is not a democracy. It is a dictatorship. My house, my rules. Is that understood?"
2. Orla: "I'm glad Jenny's party was so cracker." Erin: "What? " Orla: "I mean she had everything: a magician, firework display, karaoke machine, river dance, wee horse...-" Erin: "Yeah, okay Orla." Orla: "And all it did was make me realize, I'd still rather just be standing here on the walls with you guys." Erin: "Orla..."
3. Erin: "What if we do it, and it was all for nothing? What if we vote ''yes'' and it doesn't even work?" Granda Joe: "And what if it does? What if no one else has to die? What if all this becomes a -- a ghost story you'll tell your wains one day? Hhm? A ghost story they'll hardly believe..."
The Equalizer - Prpleight
1. Dr. Roszak: "It's okay not to be okay."
FBI: Most Wanted - Dahne
1. Remy: “He stayed on as manager and pocketed a payday in the low 7 figures.” Ortiz: “If you ask me, there’s nothing low about 7 figures.”
Halo - Folie-lex
1. Master Chief [to Riz and Vannak]: "We lose the artifact, we lose the war. It's that simple. No matter what they've done to us...we're all we have now. It's just us."
2. Master Chief: "Coulda knocked me out, handed me over to Halsey. Why didn't you?"
Cortana: "Because I was also designed to learn, John. And I have. From you. I believe that what Dr.Halsey wants to eliminate from your species is precisely the thing that makes you special: your humanity. I've watched you fight for yours, and I believe it's a cause that's right."
Law and Order - Dahne
1. Kate: “He was just on the cover of Forbes. He was the new breed of CEO.” Kevin: “Spoiler alert - it’s a lot like the old breed.”
The Rookie - Folie-lex
1. Jake [to Tim]: "It's like we're looking in a funhouse mirror of handsome."
2. Nolan: "Always do things the right way. That way, when the danger is real, the moves are automatic." Harper: "I need to talk to you about what comes after." Grey: "This sounds ominous."
3. Harper: "No, it's not at all. I just, I-I-I've been thinking, and once this baby is born, I would like to stay with the detectives." Grey: "I figured as much. Nyla, you're an exemplary T.O., but at heart you're a hunter."
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds - Lisa
1. Captain Pike: "Hit it!" ~~~Perfect command that sums up Pike as well as Picard's "Engage."
What We're Watching:
Cold Justice - Dahne
1. Kelly: “The one thing that I’ve learned after all these years is there ain’t no good way to break up with a bad man.”
Ghost Whisperer - Dahne
1. Delia, to the Professor Payne when he starts rambling about himself: “Is there a caboose to this train of thought, Professor?” 2.21
2. Jim: “That’s because she didn’t read the first rule of the wiccan faith. Do no harm.” Melinda: “Okay, well maybe this is the teen angst version of wicca.” 2.15
3. Melinda: “Point please?” Professor Payne to Delia: “The point…the point is what do you lose by believing?” 2.21
4. Delia: “You’re gonna think I’m crazy.” Melinda: “You would be surprised at my crazy threshold.” 2.13
5. Eli, after finding a box of children’s wishes: “Santa would have been a better bet.” 4.9
How We Roll - Dahne
1. Jen: “Okay, have fun. Be safe. Do not settle for a guy with a futon. You deserve a bed that’s never a couch.” Tia: “Thanks, mom.” Jen: “At least I can be a mom to someone today.” Tia: “What are you talking about? You were a great mom all day today.” Jen: “How? I wasn’t home. I couldn’t even take a Froyo break with them.” Tia: “That’s right, because you were working your a** off and showing Sam you’ll do anything to provide for your family, while your husband chases his dream.” Jen: “Yeah?” Tia: “Hell ya. I would take that bada** mom over Robot Jessica Alba any day.”
2. Lew: “I was at Powell’s Mortuary this morning to pick up some flowers for a date tonight…” Tom: “You are just begging to be haunted, aren’t you?”
Leverage - Dahne
1. Corporal Perry: “Doc, he’s cool. I found him on the internet.” Doctor Laroque: “Yes, that never goes badly.” 1.02
2. Eliot about Parker: “That’s 20 lbs of crazy in a 5 lb bag.” 1.01
3. Parker: “My money’s not in my account. That makes me cry inside in my special angry place.” 1.01
4. Hardison: “Look. You know what I can do? I can re-task a satellite. I can get a level 3 NSA clearance, but I can’t hack a hick.”
5. Sterling: “Of course you know, your entire plan depended on my being a self-serving, utter bas***.” Nate: “Yeah, that’s a stretch.” 1.13
6. Hardison to Nate: “You see what you did. You took the world’s best criminals - hitter, hacker, grifter, thief - you took us and you broke us.”
7. Ian: “Maggie? Look, you understand…” Maggie punches his face. Maggie: “Screw therapy. That felt really good.”
8. Eliot: “He tried to kill us.” Parker: “More importantly, he didn’t pay us.” Eliot: “How is that more important?” Parker: “I take that personally.”
9. Parker to bank robber: “Sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get.” 1.05
10. Hardison: “Age of the geek, baby. We run the world.” Eliot: “You keep telling yourself that.”
NCIS: NOLA - Dahne
1. Percy to Sebastian: “De-geek your speak.” 3.05
2. Tammy: “Um, shouldn’t she be seen and not heard?” Loretta: “Tammy, she’s my intern, not my 19th century orphan.” 6.13
3. Gregorio, about the obnoxious new guy: “Permission to kill him.” Sebastian: “I can make it look like an accident.” Hannah: “Okay, charitably, let’s just say he’s uncomfortable filling LaSalle’s shoes.” Gregorio: “Non-charitably?” Hannah: “Let’s put a pin in that murder idea.” 6.14
4. Patton: “Man - running is running, no matter who you running from. If you’re being haunted by a memory, you need to confront it or you’re gonna be running from it for the rest of your life.” 6.12
The OC - Lindsey
1. Ryan [answering the phone]: "Cohen residence." Seth [on the other line]: "Ryan, hey good, I was hoping you'd answer. [whispers] If you're alone cough twice." Ryan: "I'm alone." Seth: "Okay it's not as stealth, but it works too." 2.08
2. Julie: "Well I was just making bagels, I figure if the Cohen's can do it why can’t we?" Alex: "Uh, none for me thanks, I don't eat breakfast." Julie: "That's very punk of you. You know, I used to like the punk in my day." Marissa: "Mom!" Julie: "Oh you're right Marissa, it still is my day, I was just being modest." 2.14
3. Ryan: "So what do we do now?" Summer: "Hmm, I have an idea." [she puts on a hockey mask] Ryan: "You're gonna kill us all with a chainsaw?" 2.15
Young Sheldon - Dahne
1. MeeMaw: “What’s the matter?” Missy: “Everything.” MeeMaw: “Did somebody die?” Missy: “No.” MeeMaw: “Then we can fix it.” 5.13
2. Missy: “Ooh, we getting something fun with the money?” George: “Talking about a dishwasher.” Missy: “When did your dreams die?” George: “When we had kids.” 5.14
3. Mary: “What kind of 29-year-old dates someone your age?” George: “Obviously the kind that was lied to.”
About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for
SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to
Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted
The 100 "Red-Shirted" and
Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a
Last Week in TV column for
her blog and SpoilerTV.
~ "I speak TV."
