A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Red: “You know the irony of irony? It’s a word you understand but can’t possibly define.” (KathM)
1. Jay Halstead: "Was the second bottle of red my bad decision or your bad decision?" Hailey Upton: "I'm pretty sure it was mutual."
2. Trudy Platt: "Sometimes you gotta know when to go home."
3. Jay Halstead: "I'm not letting you go in there alone." (Jessica C)
1. Bryan: “I think the debris is experiencing us the same way that we are experiencing it.”
2. Bryan: “I wish you hadn't stopped it. Could have learned more.” Maddox: “You might not have survived. It was too much for her system. You happened to a little strong, that's all, but you were almost there. I don't know why this happened to you. I just don't want it to happen again. As far as I know, you're the only person debris has ever sought out.”
3. Bryan: “I don't carry this so that I remember her. I carry it so that I don't forget what it's like to invest in something that I can lose.” (Darthlocke)
1. Robyn: “It’s just a Band-Aid. There’ll be another Squawkist, another Truth Trappers. You take down one cell…” Mel: “Another one pops up. It’s whack-a-mole.” Robyn: “Yeah, until we deal with the greater social issues
But that’s tomorrow’s problem. Tonight, my job is to make a dance video with my daughter.” Mel: “Heeeeyyy!” Harry: “Oh come on! What about the viral scourge, the scourgey virus? You know why they call it TikTok, don’t you? Because its time is almost up.”
2. Robyn: “Speaking of videos, what do you know about TikToks?” Harry: “Other than the fact that I consider them a scourge of Western civilization.” Mel: “You think everything’s a scourge.” Harry: “Everything IS a scourge.”
3. Robyn to Vi: “This is the good stuff in life. I’m not gonna miss it. We’ve got to fight all that darkness out there with joy. That’s how we win.” (Dahne)
1. Janine: “I’m staying.” June: “Yeah, I had a feeling.” Janine: “I guess this is it.” June: “Yep. Well, that baby’s gonna be really lucky to have you.” Janine: “Those rebels are so lucky to have you.” June: “I need you to take care of yourself, OK?” Janine: “OK, cross my heart. Wait, here. Something to remember me by.” June: “How could I forget you?” Janine: “Who can forget the girl with one eye?” June: “I think you’re beautiful.” Janine: “Me too. Bye.”
2. Janine: “Hi.” June: “What are you doing here?” Janine: “I feel safer when we’re together. Handmaids always walk in twos, remember?” June: “Yeah, come on.”
3. Commander Lawrence: “You couldn’t give me a mercy vote?” Nick: “I can’t support a ceasefire in a battle I’m leading.” Commander Lawrence: “A ceasefire might have helped June. I’m trying to do the right thing here.” Nick: “If she were near the border, I’d know about it.” Commander Lawrence: “Oh that’s sweet. Would your heart glow or something?” Nick: “That’s funny.” Commander Lawrence: “It’s a big country commander. The eyes can’t see everything, even the eyes of Gilead.” (Darthlocke)
1. Marina: "I'm never fully comfortable around Emily. She's like a beautiful ice sculpture that burns when you touch it."
2. Denise: "You got a woman who owns a Prada toothbrush a pre-owned book about people who died in a sweatshop?" Sarah: "No, I saved a tree while sharing an important moment in US history."
3. Connor: "But I am not totally fine, okay? I don't want Alec to come here, but I can't tell Emily that and show weakness. So what? I'm just supposed to let this Alec guy show up at my house, that I own and walk around like he's so great and I'm just some loser? UGH! I'm all in my head man. Is this what it feels like to be you Tom?" Tom: "Pretty much, yeah." Connor: "I hate it." Tom: "I mean, it's not great." (Folie-lex)
1. Mare: “Are you asking me on a date, Zobel?” Colin: “I'm only asking if the answer's yes.” ~~I never expected I'd enjoy the dynamic between Kate Winslet and Evan Peters so much, and yet here we are. Their chemistry is A+. More, please!
2. Anne: “How did you all get through that?” Siobhan: “We didn't. We fell apart.” ~~The Sheehan homelife is all kinds of messed up, and we know this from how Mare never talks about Kevin. But it's interesting to get a glimpse into how the rest of the family tried to survive afterwards, and especially Siobhan. (Cecile)
1. Tom: “Oooh, yes. Straight men love an excuse to put on a dress, don’t they?“ ~~Tom Swift guest stars and hires Nancy to help him find an artifact in Horseshoe Bay. As they look through archives, they find a photo of the secret society with the artifact and dressed in their ceremonial robes.
2. Nancy: “You cannot science your way through ghosts! That’s not how this works. They’re mystical entities. We have to find out how they died so we can figure out how to get rid of them.” Tom: “Nancy, I appreciate you, but I went to MIT and you went to a thrift store to buy that hat, okay?“ ~~~ (KathM)
1. Kasie: “Man, I don’t know what I walked into but if Awkward and Uncomfortable got married and had a baby, this would be his sister, Painful.” (KathM)
2. Eleanor Bishop: "When I was calling Tubman's job at the crime scene, I overheard you and Nick talking about me and Nick, and I just want to say there's nothing to talk about because Nick and I don't really need to have an official ‘talk,’ because we're just friends. And not like Gibbs and Sloane were friends. Do people think that we're like Gibbs and Sloane? Like, 'Are they? Did they? Will they, won't they?' I mean, what exactly do people think is going on between me and Nick? Because if people are talking about us behind our back, Jimmy, that's not cool." (Jessica C)
3. Kasie Hines: "Dear Book, you are wide open and we've all read your chapter on Torres." (Jessica C)
4. Jimmy Palmer: "Let me ask you, have you noticed that Bishop has just quietly, over the last year, become a very different person?" (Jessica C)
1. Teresa: "If they want to act like gangsters, let's treat them like gangsters."
2. George: "That boat's gonna show up in a few days. We're gonna christen it together." Teresa: "I'll put the champagne on ice." George: "Don't you pop that bottle without me, principessa."
3. James: "You know sometimes, I hardly recognize her anymore." Kelly Anne: "Well, none of us are the same. We've just all been through too much and seen too much." James: "Sometimes I miss that girl from Culiacan." Kelly Anne: "You know I was Cole's doormat for years. The minute I met Teresa I knew we shared something. She helped me realize we were survivors." James: "Yeah, we all are. She's become something else." Kelly Anne: "She doesn't wanna just survive anymore. She wants to live. So that girl from Culiacan... she's gone." (Folie-lex)
1. Benji: "Your clients are sick in America, which means they need money."
2. Cruz: "You should probably take that club out of my hand before I use it to accidentally break all your windows!"
3. Rebel: "Without this surgery today, this woman will die! Do you wanna live with that on your conscience?" Hospital administrator: "I work in hospital administration, Miss Bello. Every day multiple people die because they can't afford the care that they need. So for my own well being, I choose to dedicate my conscience elsewhere. I sponsor children in the Sudan; I give to my local food bank. I do all those things with the money I earn from this job which I would lose if I caved every time someone like you accused me of not having a conscience!" (Julia)
1. Tim: "You're a good cop, Nolan. I'll grant you that." Nolan: "Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. Is that a yes to Thai?" Tim: "How serious are you about becoming a training officer?" Nolan: "Very serious." Tim: "Training our next generation is the most sacred position an office can hold. It's not a consolation prize or a rung on the ladder to your next promotion." Nolan: "I know that." Tim: "No, I don't think you do. Because last month you wanted to be a detective, and you found out that couldn't happen and now you wanna be a T.O." Nolan: "Sir, I don't want to be a T.O. I'm going to be a T.O. If you want to doubt my convictions, that's fine. You don't want to help me? That's fine, too, but you're not going to deter me." Tim: "Let's get Mexican." Nolan: "Love it."
2. Angela, about La Fiera : "When you look at her, all you see is a woman from a third-world country with a fourth grade education, but she's smarter than you." Taggart: "Oh, really? But not you?" Angela: "No, she probably is but I'm humble enough to know that, which is why I'm going to be the one who takes her down."
3. Harper: "Look at me. This is your final chance to back out. Do you still want this after what you just experienced?" Lucy: "Yeah. Yeah, I do." (Folie-lex)
What Else We’re Watching:
Bob Hearts Abishola - 2.13
1. Abishola: “I cannot believe I’m failing.” Kemi: “Abishola, you are good at everything. You always have been and I will only say this once, but sometimes I am jealous of you.” Abishola: “What?” Kemi: “I told you I would only say it once. So what if you’re not immediately good at being charge nurse. So what if the other nurses hate you and call you, ‘Bruja.’ You will study; you will learn; you will become good at it just like you do everything else.” Abishola: “Thank you. I should go back out there.” Kemi: “Uh uhn. No, no, no. Not until you’ve pulled yourself together.” Abishola: “What about now?” Kemi: “Stay in the closet a while. Nobody will miss you.” (Dahne)
1. Freddie: "Mom, mom! You said I could have it, if she said I could have it. She said I could have it but now she says that she's gonna eat it!" Jeanne: "Use nouns, Freddie." (Folie-lex)
Garcia: “You want to straighten out Agent Rossi?” Kevin: “No, what I want is for me to be able to come up here and kiss my girlfriend, and if that means I have to talk to him, then...then that’s what I’ll do.” Garcia: “Girlfriend? Kevin…” Kevin: “Yes.” Garcia: “If you get within 100 feet of Agent Rossi, I will unleash an unrecoverable virus on your personal computer system that will reduce your electronic world into something between a Commodore 64 and a block of government cheese. (Kevin gasps as Garcia closes the door on him and then opens it again.) Call me later.” (Dahne)
1. Dewey: "It's crazy you had to sell your car, Dad. You loved that thing." Rocky: "Yeah, but I love your mom even more. It's about taking responsibility." (Folie-lex)
About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for
SpoilerTV, where she coordinates Throwback Thursday, co-coordinates Quote of the Week, and writes the occasional article. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She co-hosted
The 100 "Red-Shirted" and
Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a
Last Week in TV column for
her blog and SpoilerTV.
~ "I speak TV."
