Warehouse 13 - 5.03 - A Faire to Remember - Recap

Previously - Claudia found out what happened to her sister and vowed to awaken her.

At a random Renaissance Fair, a terrible juggler gets heckled by a man in the crowd. A knave appears and waves a glowing stick, which somehow causing the man to die of a heart attack. Meanwhile back at the B & B, they seem to be missing the breakfast part. Pete comes out with scorched scones, followed by Steve with a fire extinguisher. Yeah Myka, everyone hopes there is cereal. Something tells me that white fire extinguisher foam is not tasty. Not that it stops Pete from reaching for one, but luckily Steve nixes it. Artie pops in to say the new Dark Vault is ready. Artie: "Say what you will about Paracelsus, but the man had a knack for security." He also exposits a new case at the Ren Fair. Myka quickly calls not it, which leaves Steve and Pete on the job. Hilariously Pete is super excited while Steve is notably uninterested. Steve: "Tell me there's something else behind door #2." Artie: "No, but thanks for playing." This should be fun already. Pete: "Which one do you want to be, a knight or a knave?" Steve: "I want to be a federal agent." Pete: "You're already a federal agent." Steve: "Exactly." Artie stops their bickering. Artie: "Alright, be a knave. Take the federal agent with you." Ha! As they leave, Artie asks about Claudia's whereabouts and Myka goes to find her. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't the Regent's Chatelet quite a distance from the warehouse? The way they work it here, it's two doors down from the B & B given how quickly people go from one place to the other. Are they using an artifact I don't know about? Myka breaks in on Claudia combining artifacts (Bob Dylan's bus transfer and Volta's biscuit barrel) to release Claire. Claudia: "I didn't leave Joshua stuck in an interdimensional prison, I didn't leave Steve dead, and I'm not leaving Claire like this." After Myka's cancer scare, she's more empathetic about Claudia's situation and agrees to help. This will totally come back to bite them.

Meanwhile at the faire, Pete is super excited about swords and costume rentals. He's like a big kid. Steve, on the other hand, is a stick-in-the-mud. Pete: "Come on man, you can be a knight." Steve: "Or not. Not is also an option." He's not so fond of Halloween either. Can't blame you there, buddy. Worst holiday of all for teachers. They stop a little person who won't break character to Steve's chagrin, but does lead them to the king/faire owner. Steve's patience wears thin when the king also speaks in character and even more so when he has no good intel. He doesn't know who the knave was and frankly every 5th person seems to be dressed as one. Time to question the jesters and dunk approximately 923 items into goo bags with no results. Even Pete's patience wears thin, but it is a ventriloquist jester that really does them in. First Pete holds Steve back from cramming his dummy where the sun doesn't shine and then Steve returns the favor. Honestly, he's the worst ventriloquist on the planet. I too breathe a sigh of relief when they turn their attention to Oswald, the do-fer who couldn't juggle. Dummy Jester explains that a do-fer does all the odd jobs of a Ren Faire, mostly those no one else wants. Currently he sits on the dunk tank, and Steve is more than happy to release some frustration by dunking him. Sadly, he has no more answers than anyone else. Their conversation is interrupted by a runaway cart heading straight for a little girl who strangely stands and screams there instead of running out of the way. Steve tries to jam the wheels as Pete saves the kid. Crisis adverted, although someone's tent and wares have seen better days.

On the bright side, things appear to be getting better for Claire. Her body glows and she seizes but the power heads into the biscuit barrel and she wakes up. Confused but alive, Claire freaks out when Claudia introduces herself. She remembers the 7 year-old Claudia in the picture frame by her bed. Catching her own reflection, she completely flips out. Claire: "No, see that is Claudia and I'm…old. Oh my God, I'm old." It must be hard to go from 15 to 30 in an instant. Claudia gets that the introduction to 2014 is going to be harder than she planned so she asks Myka to head back to the warehouse first and soften up Artie. Myka agrees but as she leaves her eyes glow white. Not good! The energy was transferred from Claire to Myka instead. Things also get progressively worse at the faire when a wizard starts shooting lightning bolts at the crowd. Steve tries to Tesla him, but it only gives him the energy to triplicate himself. While Pete saves the princess, the wizard takes aim at Steve and then instantly disappears. Pete: "Some special effects, wow! Best Ren Faire ever." Bwah! He keeps talking the faire up but Sourpuss Steve is having none of it. "I used to like magic." Ha! As Steve and Peter grill the do-fer, Claudia settles Claire into her room at the B & B. She explains new technology, but it only makes Claire feel more out of place so Claudia tells Claire about her stay in a mental institution. Claudia: "I spent my formative years in a psych ward and…uh, not to outdo you, but Crazy Girl carries a lot more stigma than Coma Girl." Good point. Claire calms down even more when she sees her old guitar and the sisters bond over music. Claudia takes Claire to her coffeehouse where they jam out to Garbage's When I Grow Up and drink overpriced coffee.

It's a lot more fun than Artie's having in the Dark Vault. Artie: "Okay. Alice, are you in there? Okay yes. Sorry. Just go back to planning ways to kill me." Oh Artie, you should know better than to mess around with Alice in the Mirror ever again. Myka comes to help, startling him both literally and with her new and definitely not improved attitude. She's very blasé around dangerous artifacts and goes off on Artie when he warns her. Myka: "This is not my first time in the dark vault, although vault is a joke. Okay, this place is about as secure as a kiosk at the mall." Bwah! She has a point. On other issues not so much. Myka: "You also didn't mention that we would be stuck in South Dakota forever and you never, ever, ever told us that we would be effected by artifacts. You want to guess how many times I've been whammied?" Artie: "That's what this is about. You think that somehow an artifact has effected your health." Myka: "Stop second guessing me, Artie. That is not what this is about. Not at all." Her eyes glow and artifacts start jumping. Yep, another time whammied. She starts threatening to smash artifacts because Artie's talking down to her. Artie: "Look I'm not talking down to you. I'm just talking you down. See the difference." That calms Myka down for about one millisecond before she goes off on another rant. Myka: "It's a thousand things." Artie: "I understand." Myka: "Do you know that I went through my cancer scare alone?" Whoa, time out. That was your choice, Myka. You wouldn't let Pete be there for you and didn't tell anyone else. No fair holding them responsible for your actions! Artie agrees. Artie: "Yes I know and you didn't really need to. You…you chose to keep it to yourself." As Myka's eyes glow again and she begins to toss objects with her mind, Artie finally understands that she's taken in Claire's negative energy. He tries to taser her, but that only ticks her off more. Myka: "You shot me?' Artie: "Well it wasn't really a shot per se. More like an aggressive hello." Yeah, I don't think so.

Back at the faire, Oswald the Do-Fer tells Steve and Pete that he had his fortune told before the man had a heart attack and viola we have a winner. They head to Madame Doria's, who denies that she read Oswald's cards much less cursed him. Madame Doria: "I haven’t cursed anyone in years. Not since my ex-husband, ribbit, ribbit." Ha! This lady is way over the top but she's hilarious. Pete and Steve bag the tarot cards but again nothing. That is until Madame Doria runs and they have to chase her. They're stopped mid-chase by an angry living chess piece. Luckily the crowd thinks it's part of the act. The crowd must have consumed too much mead. Pete wrestles her and again, poof. She disappears. I see a theme here. Madame Doria however cannot just poof out and they corner her. Madame Doria: "Damn it, I'm getting old. I used to be faster than the KGB." I love this lady! Her granddaughter Katarina, who has a crush on Oswald, actually read his cards and created the "curse" so he could prove himself to be brave. They douse Mother Shipton's misery cards but Madame D says it's not enough. Oswald must prove himself brave or die. Pete: "Does he really have to die?' Madame D: "Either he's a hero or a dead doofus." Bwah! Katarina objects, sure that Oswald has a lion's heart inside. Katarina: "He can be a hero. I know he can." Madame D: "Really? Have you seen him? I mean really looked at him?" They all stare at Oswald putting an elaborate helmet on his head. Pete: "Well, she has a point." Bwaaaahhhhhh! This scene cracks me up. Madame Doria leaves for an exorcism and with her goes the fun. Sigh. Pete asks why Katarina would set Oswald up to win the princess and she spouts on about how loving someone means wanting to see them happy. Pete: "Wow, my ex-girlfriends had more of a scorched earth policy." That does seem to be more the usual.

As the tournament starts, Oswald begins to chicken out. Pete: "With clear eyes and a full heart, you can't lose." Oswald: "I'm near-sighted and I have arrhythmia." Best line yet! Pete keeps encouraging him until Steve jinxes it. Death rides in on a dark horse and Oswald bolts. Oswald: "Nothing is worth this. Not even the princess." Katarina steps into Oswald's place and as the evil knight goes to slay her, Oswald summons the courage to slay his demons. Poof, it disappears as Oswald is proclaimed hero by all. The king knights him and offers his daughter's hand, but Oswald has eyes only for Katarina. Ever the gentleman, Pete swoops in to save the pride-pinched princess, who sounds like Fran from the Nanny. Steve and I just laugh because there are more pressing issues back at the warehouse. First though it's back to the B & B, where Claudia tells Claire their parents are dead and Claire remembers her role in the accident. It's been a rough day for her. Things aren't so hot for Artie either who uses the Farnsworth to show Claudia a floating, angry Myka. Claire and Claudia race over while Artie explains that the energy from the music box has to go into a living host. He's tried all kinds of things before, but nothing's worked. Claudia and Claire distract Myka so Artie can use Pliny the Elder's scroll to incase her in amber and stall her. There's no other choice. Claire has to take the energy back in order to free Myka. Claudia vigorously protests but Claire insists and thanks Claudia for a perfect day. Claire: "I love you little sister and I'm counting on you to fix all of this." No pressure there, Claire. They hug as Myka starts breaking through the amber.

In a rapid jump, Claudia, Claire, and Artie are back at the chatelet, presumably after releasing the negative energy back into Claire. Myka is nowhere to be seen and Claire's remarkably calm and lucid for someone who is infected and about to be put back into a coma. What the heck? Speaking of, again I ask where this chatelet is located because it's locale screams city while the back and forth of this episode screams warehouse annex. I'm so confused, but I'm probably supposed to be distracted from the lack of logic by Claudia's last few moments with Claire before she goes under again. Claire asks Artie for a bit more time so she can sing Garbage with her sister once more. They both cry as Claudia promises to find a way to help her. As Artie turns on the record player, Claire slips into a coma again. Sniff, sniff. The better moment comes after though when Artie shows Myka and Claudia his work trying to release Claire, all 15 years of it. Artie: "I'm sorry, Claudia. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Claire sooner. I didn't want you to go through all that pain. I've always done…I always will do anything to keep you from getting hurt. Please don't hug me. The only thing that could make this worse is you seeing me cry. Okay, from now on we do everything together. That goes for you too. We're a family here and none of us have to go through anything alone…ever." Awwww! Everyone starts crying. It's a touching declaration of just how important they are to each other. Myka can't help but hug Artie at his words and the whole place emerges into waterworks, but good tears. They can face it all together, a family that chooses to be together and chooses to love one another. Again, awww.

This episode was a great improvement over the last one. It felt more like the real Warehouse 13 with only a few hiccups. The plot pace is still so rapid it feels like they are determined to fit in every storyline they ever thought of into these 6 episodes. Plots are introduced and ended wily nily, leaving me spinning more than the objects around Possessed Myka. Other than that, I really enjoyed the humor in this episode and the overall hijinks. Madame Doria was delightful as the sarcastic gypsy, and Steve and Pete's opposite reaction to the Ren faire was hilarious. Still it was really the "B" story that made the night. I loved Claudia and Claire together and while it turned up the drama, at least they are trying to explain while Myka is suddenly a new character. I'm not buying the instant changes but I see where they want me to go with this now at least. Of course the real kudos go to Artie though, who manages to keep his temper over Claudia's artifact combining mishap and bring home the truth about them all being family.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Claudia and Claire having fun together

Best Quote - Pete: "With clear eyes and a full heart, you can't lose." Oswald: "I'm near-sighted and I have arrhythmia." / Myka: "This is not my first time in the dark vault, although vault is a joke. Okay, this place is about as secure as a kiosk at the mall."

Best Reason to Watch - mixing up the character interactions, aka no Pete and Myka shenanigans

Biggest Aww Scene - Artie's ending speech and Myka hugging him

Best Reaction - Claire to Claudia saying she's her sister / Madame Doria to Oswald defeating the Evil Knight

Best Character Interaction - Claudia and Claire

MVP - Artie

Most Enthusiastic - Pete, who is overly thrilled about well EVERYTHING in the Ren Faire

Most dramatic - Claire says she has to go back into the coma in order to save Myka

Most Hilariously Over the Top - Madame Doria

Most Used Word - last time it was frakking; this time it's doofus, which just makes me laugh

Best Moment - Steve keeps Pete from sampling the burned breakfast with extra

The "So True" Award - It was Myka's choice to be alone. They would have been there for her if she had let them be.

Best Rescue - Pete keeps Steve from going ballistic on a knave

The "Welcome Back" Award - Ryan Cartwright who played squintern Nigel-Murray and Gary Bell on Alphas guest stars in this episode. FYI - Kat from Alphas was also in this one.

The "Yeah, Like There Won't Be Consequences" Award - Claudia is messing with stuff over her head by combining artifacts to save her sister.

Best Magic Trick - The wizard triplicates himself

Best Continuity - Aztec bloodstone from the pilot makes a re-appearance as well as Alice, kind of

Biggest Surprise - Artie was surprisingly calm about Claudia releasing the music box energy into Myka



Screencaps by The Trades, Warehouse 13 Wikia, BTV Guide, M2, Google Play, Streamonline,  Kirk's Knook, Serien Junkies, Crimson Tear, and Daily Actor.

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for Sleepy Hollow, Arrow, White Collar, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Warehouse 13 "Endless Wonder", Sleepy Hollow "Headless," and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."