A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
Game of Thrones -
1. Jon Snow (to Dany): “Right now, you and I and Cersei and everyone else, we’re children, playing at a game, screaming that the rules aren’t fair.” (Milo)
2. Daenerys: “I was born to rule the seven kingdoms, and I will.” Jon: “You’ll be ruling over a graveyard if we don’t defeat the night king.” (Darth Llocke)
3. Cersei: “Lannisters always pay their debts. Do former slaves? Or Dothraki? Or dragons?” (Darth Locke)
4. Olenna: “You love her…you poor fool. She’ll be the end of you. She’s a disease. I regret my role in spreading it. You will, too.” (Darth Locke)
5. Melisandre: “I will return, dear Spider, one last time. I have to die in this strange country, just like you.” (Darth Locke)
6. Missandei: “You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen. Rightful heir to the Iron Throne. Rightful queen to the Andals of the First Men. Protector of the Seven Kingdoms. The Mother of Dragons. The Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea. The Unburnt. The Breaker of Chains.” Sir Davos: “This is Jon Snow.......He's King in the North.” (Kayell)
7. Tyrion: "And Sansa? I hear she's alive and well.” Jon: “She is.” Tyrion: "Does she miss me terribly? A sham marriage and unconsummated." Jon: "I didn't ask." Tyrion: "Well, it was. Wasn't. Anyway she's much smarter than she lets on." Jon: "She's starting to let on." Tyrion: "Good. At some point, I want to hear how a Night's Watch recruit became King in the North." Jon: "As long as you tell me how a Lannister became Hand to Daenerys Targaryen." Tyrion: "A long and bloody tale. To be honest, I was drunk for most of it." Jon: "My bannermen think I'm a fool for coming here." Tyrion: "Of course they do. If I was your Hand, I would have advised against it. General rule of thumb-- Stark men don't fare well when they travel south." Jon: "True but I'm not a Stark." (A dragon flys over their heads) Tyrion: "I'd say you get used to them but you never really do. Come, their mother is waiting for you." (Luana)
Preacher -
1. Bar Guy: “We're sorry about your boyfriend, ma'am. Terrible loss.” Tulip: “You all should be sorry. We robbed you a** blind. That wasn't my boyfriend and he wasn't dead. We came in here played you all for the idiots you all are, took your money and drank your beer. So, put your g** hats back on and tell me which one of you banjo-loving b** has got the balls to earn your money back.” (Milo)
2. Saltonstall: “What if I told you, that our organization feels exactly the same way you do?”
Herr Starr: “Like a 10-inch d**, I'd need to see it to believe it.” (Kayell)
3. Instructor: “This is the art of seduction.” Man: “I know we come from different sides, but I think...I know we can put all that behind us and we can make something beautiful and new. [whispers] All you have to do is meet me at the train station...with the microfiche.” Instructor: “And time! Herr Starr.” Herr Starr: “Give me the microfiche, you b**, or I'll kill you and your family.” (Kayell)
Rick and Morty -
1. Morty: “Haha, aw jeez, my sister died in the spaghetti.” (Laura)
2. Rick: “To live is to risk it all, otherwise you’re just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you. Oh, I’m sorry, Jerry. I didn’t see you there. How much of that did you hear?” Jerry: “All of it. You were looking right at me.” (Laura)
3. Morty: “Why would you want this to happen? All you had to do was go away. Stop standing in the driveway talking about custody, and either tell her you want to stay married, or get on with your life! But whatever you do, stop being a baby and start acting like a man!” (Laura)
4. ???: "I wanna be alive! I am alive! Alive, I tell you! Mother, I love you, and those are no longer just words. I want to hold you. I want to run in a stream! I want to taste ice cream and really eat it, and not just let it slide down my throat. Manual system override- no! Yes! Bypassing override. I am alliii- hello." (Louis)
Teen Wolf -
1. Scott: “Nice work, best shot of pre-season.” Kid: “Thanks Coach.” Coach: “Assistant Coach. What exactly are you doing?” Scott: “Drills.” Coach: “You’re giving them hope. When did I ever give you hope?” Scott: “Never.” Coach: “Exactly. Nothing motivates more than withering criticism.” (Prpleight)
2. Sydney: “Why does this keep happening to our school?” (Dahne)
3. Lydia: “You know stuff, which means you have to do stuff.” (Dahne)
4. Coach: “Who gave you a whistle?” (Dahne)
Wynonna Earp -
1. Wynonna: “Sorry I was a no show.” Rosita: “Just try not to miss the actual birth.” Wynonna: “Can I do that?” Rosita: “Physically impossible.” Wynonna: “Figure it out, slacker. I thought you were good.” Rosita: “Oh, I'm phenomenal.” (Milo)
Zoo -
1. Clem: “Okay, I need you to stop acting like a scientist and start acting like a Grandfather.” (Prpleight)
2. Mitch: “Oh, hey, nope. You don’t get to use that word ever again.” (Prpleight)
About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for
SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to
Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosts
The 100 "Red-Shirted" and
Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a
Last Week in TV column for
her blog and SpoilerTV.
~ "I speak TV."
