Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Quote of the Week - Weeks of January 26 and February 2





A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.



Black Lightning -
1. Dr. Jace: “Dr. Helga Jace. Scientific log. Day 97 of Markovian captivity. An old colleague of mine, Dr. Lynne Stewart, will be arriving soon. Colonel Mosin wants her to create the meta stabilization cure for Markovia. Unfortunately, if Dr. Stewart is successful, my usefulness to Mosin will vanish and I'll be...dead. But to keep things light and cheery, and since Dr. Stewart will be reluctant to share her formula, I'll be forced to engage in various bonding rituals to gain her trust. The human connection is such a puzzling subject so...I did my research and...I created this handy checklist. I am very confident that Dr....oh correction...Lynne and I are destined to be besties. [FYI Checklist Reads: (1) Make eye contact. (2) Listen sometimes. (3) Pretend to care. (4) Find commonality. (5) Use Compliments_]” ~~Of course this was immediately followed by Lynne trying, fervently, to bash Jace's face in. This was the single most hilarious scene in the three seasons of Black Lightning. (Prpleight)
2. Lynne: “You lying little b***!” Jace: “Surely you can see I'm also a prisoner here. I'm not on the Markovian's side. And, in fact I've been trying to help you. Didn't you get my message?” Lynne: “Shut up.” Jace: “I knew it. Because of the data I embedded in Cyclotronic, you were able to create the meta stabilization formula.” Lynne: “Your message contained a virus that killed several metas.” Jace: “Minor oversight. You just remember who you have to thank for creating the greatest medical breakthrough in the history of mankind. Me. You're quite welcome Dr. Ste....I mean Lynne.” Lynne: (Prpleight)




Carter -
1. Carter, affecting a British accent: “Allo bruv. It's good to hear a familiar accent. Where you from then, mate?” Bad guy: “East London. You?” Carter: “Right. Yeah, I know eastern, eastern south -- uh-- South East London.” Dave: “Now we know why Harley didn't get that Guy Ritchie movie.” Dot: “It's like he wants to die.” (Prpleight)
2. Carter, to Dave Arquette: “Did you cater a crime scene?” (Dahne)
3. Carter: “You’re just taking it too far, man.” Arquette: “It works for Jack Bauer in every episode.” Carter: “Yeah, but that’s 24. We’re more of a Castle vibe here. Okay, less Bauer-hard. More Fillion-hard.” (Dahne)
4. Carter: “You want us to hold your jacket while you kick their butts.” Sam: “Nah, those guys are just proof the lowest common denominator just found the basement.” Arquette: “How do you know he wasn’t whistling at me?” (Dahne)
5. Carter: “Finally, the star of our movie, star #3.” Arquette: “Spaghetti and meatballs.” Sam: “Are you trying to tell us you’re hungry?” Dave: “Or insane, because message received.” (Dahne)



Emergence -
1. Jo: “You were in my house, Benny. We took care of you when you were hurt. How did I not know? I never even suspected that you were lying.” Benny: “I wasn’t, not entirely.” Jo: “How could you say that to me?” Benny: “Because I couldn’t kill you Jo. When I had the chance, I couldn’t do it.”
2. Piper: “I’m happy I was in your family.”
3. Jo: “Alright, you stay with me at all times and whatever I tell you to do you listen, okay? But not like you normally listen. Actually listening.” Piper: “I’m not afraid.” Jo: “You know what? This time you need to be. Come on.”
4. Jo: “Alright, somebody better tell me who thought this field trip was a good idea because I’m going to kill ‘em.”



FBI -
1. Jubal: “We are always so focused on...on winning, you know? On helping that we never really stop and think about all the consequences of our noble decisions - all the people we hurt, all the lives that we ruin.”
2. Jubal: “She wasn’t a real gangster. She just fell in love with the wrong guy, and the truth is, if...I think I let my ego get in the way and there was the booze. I was drinking a lot at the time. If I didn’t charge Christina, her daughter does not grow up without a mother. She doesn’t start hanging out with gangbangers.” Castille: “No, un huh, don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself. Maya’s murder isn’t your fault.”
3. Manager: “I may be a music manager, Agent Bell, but I’m not as country as you think. Yale Law School, Class of 2014.”



Lincoln Rhyme -
1. Lincoln: “I don’t think my personal life is relevant to you doing your job, but yes, I have a family. They live in Chicago.” Amelia: “It is relevant to me, Lincoln, if you sent them away to protect them from the same serial killer who has the home address of my family.”
2. Sellitto: “I told Lucy’s parents not to get their hopes up. I didn’t stop to think about my own. I, uh, let myself believe even after all this time, she might be alive out there, waiting for us to find her. That’s a rookie mistake.” Amelia: “Hope can’t be managed, Sellitto. I think it’s a good thing. Look, I know I’m new to this, but I don’t know how you do this job without it.”
3. Amelia: “You’re in high spirits today.” Lincoln: “No different than any other day.” Amelia: “No, usually your mild disdain and impatience are part of your charm. I come in here and Claire’s walking on eggshells. Felix is grumbling…” Lincoln: “Maybe people should just do their jobs.” Amelia: “Maybe they’d do them better if the work environment was a little more...harmonious.”
4. Lincoln: “I don’t do apologies well.” Claire: “You don’t do them at all.” Lincoln: “So we can skip to the part where you know I didn’t mean what I said.” Claire: “We could or we could just jump to the part where I realize that my job is to take care of you and not to push you.” Lincoln: “Sometimes those are the same thing, aren’t they?”
5. Lincoln: “Our old tradition. Close a case, raise a glass. Not that I can raise mine.” Sellitto, putting in a straw in the glass: “I got you covered. To Lucy Arthur.” Lincoln: “To never giving up.”
6. Castillo: “I hate morgues.” Amelia: “Does anyone like morgues?” Castillo and Sellitto together: “Kate.”



MacGyver -
1. Russ, looking at Mac’s overly gadget-strewn house: “Oh, I like it. Very nervous-breakdown chic. Very now.” Mac: “I don’t get a whole lot of visitors.” Russ: “Well, how can you tell? They could be anywhere.”
2. Mac: “I need you, Bozie Wan-Kenobi. You’re my only hope.” Bozer: “Don’t episode 4 me. That’s a New Hope, man. That’s sacred.” Mac: “It’s that serious.”
3. Russ: “Look, you’ve been out of the game for over a year and in that time, a lot has happened. Notre Dame’s caught fire, Accrington Stanley got promoted from Division 2, and, oh, that’s right, I run your team now.” Matty: “And you are crushing it. Running an unsanctioned op so mismanaged that you allowed an apocalyptic bioweapon to slip through your fingers. You’re great.”
4. Desi: “You said she was retired.” Russ: “Well, technically she wouldn’t take my call.” Matty: “No one takes your calls.”



Outmatched -
1. Kay: “Tomorrow, you will accomplish whacking moles and winning cheap stuffed animals, like we’re a normal family.” Nicole: “That doesn’t sound normal. It sounds trashy.” Kay: “We live in Atlantic City. Normal is trashy.”
2. Jay: “Just for the record, I never meant to steamroll you into playing football, It’s just that, how was I supposed to coach you in soccer if I didn’t know anything about it.” Mike: “You think soccer’s tough. My kids are into particle physics and numbers that somehow also have letters in them.” Jay: “I guess you just try to do the best you can and then you hope for a couple of moments like this.” Mike: “Why is it so much easier to talk like this in a car?” Jay: “A car’s a perfect spot for a father-son talk. You know, nobody can leave, you’re staring ahead for the most part so there’s none of that weird eye contact, and then there’s idiot drivers that are always a good conversation starter.”
3. Kay: “Hey, how’d you get rid of grandma? Did you tell her Michael Buble’s signing CD’s at Barnes and Noble?” Nicole: “No. She’s making us a nail appointment.” Kay: “Oh sweetie, no. You will be strapped to a spa chair while Grandma grills you about dad. That is not a nail appointment. That’s a hostage situation.”
4. Kevin: “He’s got to be close. How far could he have gotten?” Jay: “If that thing runs on shame, he could be in Connecticut by now.”



Prodigal Son -
1. Malcolm: “When I was 10 years old, Martin Whitly tried to kill me. My father tried to kill me.” Simon: “Well, that’s terrible, but you knew he was a predatory psychopath.” Malcolm: “I know that. My rational, overeducated mind understands who he is, but the child in me thought he cared, loved me even and now I can’t see that anymore. All I can see is me, age ten, dead.”
2. JT, seeing Malcolm in his white suit: “What up, Miami Vice?” Dani: “Aww, that’s no way to talk to a friend. How is everything? Were you able to kill James Bond…”
3. Simon: “Were you concerned about Bright’s mental state?” JT: “Of course I was. If Bright was an actual state, he’d be Florida.”
4. Jessica: “She gave that boy everything she had and he joins a cult. I mean how hard is it to accept a trust fund, settle down, pop out a few grandchildren?”
5. Gil: “You’re in no state to work a case.” Malcolm: “I’ve been working this case.” Gil: “I brought you onto the team because you’re the best of what you do, Bright, but not when you get like this.” Malcolm: “Like this? I’m like this because of Martin Whitly, because of John Watkins, because of you.” Gil: “What?” Malcolm: “You asked for my help. You knew I couldn’t say no and you brought them all back into my life. You did that. You started this.” Gil: “Get the hell out of my precinct.”
6. Edrisa: “Who invited their coke dealer? I mean, hello Colonel. I love your chicken.” Gil: “Okay, now I’m glad I brought you.”
7. Dani: “Your dad seems….nice.” Malcolm: “He’s not.”
8. Lady: “That was outstanding. You’re a hero. What is your name?” Malcolm: “Malcolm. I’m Jessica Whitly’s son.” Jessica: “Yes, he is. Darling, I find myself underwhelmed by the social scene here. Shall we?”



Tommy -
1. Tommy, who just became the first female chief of police of LA: "If I fail it will be 20 years before they give another woman this job.“ (Julia)
2. Tommy: "He tried to rape me in my hotel room. I broke his nose. They talked me into calling it sexual harassment. Nothing happened to him. I lost ten years of my career and became a feminist icon. Frankly, I would rather have the ten years back." (Julia)
3. Blake: “Chief, the mayor's office asked that you hold off making any kind of statement.” Tommy: “The office asked? What, it was like Beauty and the Beast, where the furniture talks?” (Julia and Dahne)
4. Guy: “There are a few bad apples in every barrel.” ….Mayor: “There are no apples in Los Angeles. It never gets cold enough.” Guy: “It’s a proverb.” Mayor: “A cop who pimps out a 15-year-old girl with an 80 IQ is not an apple. He’s not a quince. He’s not a loquat. He’s a scumbag.” (Dahne)



Young Sheldon -
1. Sheldon: “I don’t care about money.” Georgie: “But you care about science, right?” Sheldon: “Of course.” Georgie: “So I offer you the chance to do an experiment and you’d rather play a video game? What would Professor Proton think?”
2. George: “You just gotta get out of your head. You’re thinking too much.” Missy: “I promise, thinking too much has never been my problem.”
3. Connie: “So now I have these two guys in my life, and I know that might sound like bragging but at my age, if you are single and not hooked to an oxygen tank, you gotta swat ‘em away. I’m still p*** at you for dying. I’m not gonna just sit at home and miss you. I mean you wouldn’t want that. You’d want me to go out and have fun, right? Take your time. Think about it.”
4. Mary: “So how are you enjoying your first meal with our family?” Dale: “Well everybody’s mean. I love it.”
5. Mary: “Lord, I really need you right now. I have tried so hard to lead my family to your light, but so far, Sheldon doesn’t believe in you, Missy thinks you’re a magic trick, and you’re not a teenage girl, so Georgie doesn’t think about you at all.”
6. Connie: “Do not be a jerk to John.” Dale: “Why would I be a jerk?” Connie: “You’re gonna be camping, you’re gonna be in the woods, you’re gonna be drinking. You’re a jerk without any of that.” Dale: “Don’t worry. I know how to get along with people.” Connie: “Knowing how and doing it are two different things.”




About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."


Wednesday, February 5, 2020

The January Binge





Welcome to the Monthly Binge, a new column where I will be discussing the shows that I am binging. As a child of the 70’s and 80’s and one of the last people on the planet to get a DVR, binging is relatively new to me but now I can’t imagine TV without it. In this column, I will attempt to broaden my TV horizons and I invite you to join along. At the end, I’ve included a form you can fill out to tell me what you are binging. I’ll randomly pick 2 or 3 each month to add to the next month’s column.



The Details:

1. A binge, for me, means at least 5 episodes or the entire mini-series if it doesn’t have 5 episodes.
2. No current season of any shows reviewed by the SpoilerTV team.
3. I will typically binge 3-4 shows: 1 new to me, 1 rewatch, 1 show not discussed much on SpoilerTV, and 1 continuation of a show I previously reviewed.
4. The article will typically be posted the first Wednesday of the month.
5. All opinions are obviously mine and may differ from yours. Also, spoilers will ensue both here and in the comments. Read at your own risk!



My January Binges:


Show: Bates Motel
Type: new to me
Episodes: 1.01 - 1.05
Best Reason to Watch: The acting, by far
Best Character: Norman, who makes me feel sympathetic towards a known killer

Best Episode:
 The pilot narrowly edges out episode What’s Wrong with Norman (1.03) for me, mostly because they did a great job of setting up the characters and the main conflict. I felt that the pilot was also better paced overall. The acting in the rape and killing scene was phenomenal by both Vera Farmiga and Freddie Highmore.

Worst Episode:
Nice Town You Picked, Norma (1.02) - While I enjoyed Norman and Emma’s search for the truth, much of this episode felt uneven. Certain things felt rushed while others snail crawled. Dylan’s introduction did little for me, and the vigilantism of the town felt forced.

Highlights:
Best Scene - Norman tells Dylan about the rape and murder
Best Quote - Norman: “Maybe some people don’t get to start over. Maybe they just bring themselves to a new place.”

Addiction Rating: 3 - While I intend to finish the first season at the minimum, right now I think I would like this show better on a weekly basis instead of binging it.

Overview:
While the acting is top-notch (some of the best I’ve seen), they are throwing in too many subplots at this juncture. Plus, it’s hard to believe they live in a town where someone is gruesomely murdered on a daily basis. The random violence is distracting me from the central plot of the Norma-Norman relationship. That said, the bond between them is intriguing, if mysterious. I look forward to getting more on their background. Co-dependent crazy can’t be the only answer. I’m also not sure what motivates many of the characters, especially Human Slave Trafficker Deputy. He’s evil but he’s in love after 2 days? Hmmm. Dylan is another character that needs more context but I’m liking him more with every episode so it will be interesting to see where that leads.




Show: Supernatural
Type: rewatch
Episodes: 1.01 - 1.07
Best Reason to Watch: The Winchesters are still my favorite TV siblings of all time.
Best Character: Dean at this juncture, but narrowly followed by Sam. Basically, the Winchester bond is the real star and makes the show.

Best Episode:
Skin (1.06), although it is a toss up with Dead in the Water (1.03). Dead in the Water is where I fell in love with the Dean character, but Skin is where we get a deeper understanding of  both Dean and Sam’s psyches. Plus, it is a well-paced classic shapeshifter story that gives both brothers their chance to shine. The music is awesome, the action scenes rock, and the femme fatale is a character I can root for. The skin molting scene can go though.

Worst Episode:
Hook Man (1.07) - CGI-wise it goes to Wendigo (1.02) but overall my pick is Hook Man. The Hook Man legend felt stale, unlike the Blood Mary episode. The logic flaws were glaring (great big hook turns into itty bitty necklace). Mostly though, I can’t stand the femme fatale in this one or all the screaming. I do, however, enjoy a good salt and burn. Goodbye, preacher.

Highlights:
Biggest Shock - Jessica’s death, which convinced me right away that this show would not be typical
Best Music - Back in Black (aka Baby’s theme)
Best Quote - This is hard to pick because there are so many quotables per episode, so I went with the unofficial theme. Dean: “Saving people, hunting things - the family business.”

Addiction Rating:
5 - I forgot how much I love early Supernatural and how creepy the first season actually is.

Overview:
Supernatural is, by far, the show I have obsessed about the most in all my TV-watching days. I was hooked by the pilot and consumed by the third episode. Even having seen my favorite episodes hundreds of times, it still grips me. The brothers Winchester have a special bond and it pulls me into their saga like no other. My favorite seasons are still 1-3 and reliving these episodes after taking a 2-year break from Supernatural is like coming home. I may not get caught up in time for the series finale but I am enjoying every moment of this rewatch.




Show: Joan of Arcadia
Type: under the radar
Episodes: 1.01 - 1.05
Best Reason to Watch: The family interactions
Best Character: This is a hard call because I like different characters best in different episodes. Adam is the one I have the most patience with, but Joan is really trying.

Best Episode:
Touch Move (1.03) - I think this episode was the most relatable. The highlight was when the older brother let Joan know that even though he was popular, high school sucked for him too. There were a lot of good sibling moments in this episode and I loved Joan standing up for herself and her younger brother at the end.

Worst Episode:
The Fire and the Wood (1.02) - Mostly this episode was utterly forgettable, as in I had to watch it twice because I fell asleep the first time. More importantly, there is no follow up to the serial killer of teens from the pilot. Is he in jail? Is he going to stalk Joan? That storyline deserves some kind of follow up at least.

Highlights:
Best Side Perk - the music is a fun flashback
Best Quote - Joan: “So my true nature is to be a catalyst? That’s mad anti-climatic.” God: “Anticlimactic. Anti-climatic means you’re against the weather.”


Addiction Rating: 2+

Overview:
This show is definitely not what I thought it would be. My general impression was that a girl heard from God, so I was thinking more Touched by an Angel. I was shocked that the pilot was also about a serial killer who was preying on teen girls. Then I was shocked that this storyline didn’t seem to go anywhere in the next 4 episodes. The show does touch upon some heady issues like rape and adapting to life after becoming a paraplegic. For its time, it was probably brave by bringing up the issue of rape but by not continuing the conversation, it felt stilted and unresolved. Joan is a great character and her family keeps it from being just another teen angst or crime procedural show. Mary Steenburgen and Joe Mantega make a dynamic TV couple, although I never stopped thinking of him as Rossi. Overall, Joan of Arcadia has an interesting premise but it’s not going to be on my “must watch” list.



Your Turn:

If you would like to share your thoughts on what you’re binging, comment below or fill out this form. I will randomly choose 2-3 to share in next month’s column. Please make sure that you have watched 5 or more episodes and that it is not the current season of a show covered by SpoilerTV.





About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

Sunday, February 2, 2020

Quote of the Week - Week of January 19





A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.



9-1-1: Lone Star -
1. Judd: “My Uncle Cash likes to say that the secret to life isn’t thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” Owen: “Your Uncle Cash sounds like he knows what he’s talking about.” Judd: “He’s a salty old drunk with cirrhosis, but the point is you got to hold on to what matters in life. It don’t matter if you lose your hair. Yeah, you gotta do what you gotta to do to stay alive, and if it comes to it, it’s Texas. Now we know you look good in a cowboy hat. You should keep it.”
2. Judd: “Look, if I walk away from the 126, it’s like I’m walking away from them.” Grace: “So what are you gonna do?” Judd: “I don’t know. Look, the captain’s got it in for me. He don’t give a damn that I got 20 years out on that rig and that this job is everything to me. That ain’t fair.” Grace: “Well sweetheart, I hope you’re not trying to tell a black woman how tough life in Texas is.”
3. Owen: “I have three commitments to my people. Everybody who clocks in will also clock out, everybody gets a fair shake, and no one, and I mean no one, gets left behind when it comes to skincare.”
4. Grace: “I work 9-1-1 dispatch. I took the call that night. I was on the line with my husband when the explosion happened. He was running back towards the danger.” Owen: “Yeah, I read the report and his commendation.” Grace: “And I read yours. It was all online. You and Judd are a lot alike. You know that saving people is like oxygen to him and he’s suffocating.” Owen: “Yeah well, he needs to take a little time to take care of himself before he can take care of anybody else.” Grace: “I’m not asking you to throw him back into the action right away, Captain. I know he’s not ready for that.” Owen: “So what are you asking?” Grace: “What I’m asking is that you do what you do best. I’m asking you to save him, please.”
5. Grace: “How do you feel?” Judd: “I feel like the tiniest weight in the world just got lifted off my chest but that’s it, you know? That’s all. Oh, man.” Grace: “Judd Ryder, do you have any idea of how proud I am of you?”
6. Judd: “What does TK say? I mean, I bet he’d rather have a bald dad than a dead dad.” Owen: “I haven’t told him yet. He doesn’t know that I’m sick.” Judd: “And you say I need to see a therapist.” Owen: “He’s had a lot on his plate. I don’t want to tell him until he’s ready.” Judd: “Til he’s ready or til you’re ready?”



Bob Hearts Abishola -
1. Kemi: “The only problem we have is his mother. She disapproves of me so I have no choice but to keep seeing him.” (Prpleight and Dahne)
2. Gloria: “So you can't be making no noise?” Kemi: “No. And it's not easy. At the moment of truth I have a tendency to squeak.” Abishola: “Oluwa mi o.” Gloria: “Now when you say squeak, you mean like a dolphin or more like a mouse?” Kemi, demonstrating: “More like a leaky balloon.” (Prpleight)
3. Bob: “Yeah well, that’s life. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do what you gotta do.” Dele: “So you think I should be a doctor?” Bob: “No, I think you gotta to chase your dream as long as you can.” Dele: “Thanks, Bob.” Bob: “And just so we’re clear, if your mom asks if I encouraged you, I’m gonna lie my a** off.” Dele: “Respect.” (Dahne)
4. Dottie: “So, tell me.” Bob: “Oh, everything was fine, I was talking about how great her son is. I made one little critique and…” Dottie: “Stop.” Bob: “What?” Dottie: “You’re wrong.” Bob: “I didn’t tell you what I said.” Dottie: “It doesn’t matter what you said. No single mother wants to hear her child be criticized by some random guy.” (Dahne)
5. Abishola: “Am I putting too much pressure on you?” Dele: “No.” Abishola: “Good. Then you need to smile more.” Dele: “Why?” Abishola: “This is America. We have to look happy even if we’re not.” Dele: “Okay.” Abishola: “But you are happy?” Dele: “Yes.” Abishola: “If something was wrong, you would tell me.” Dele: “Yes.” Abishola: “Good because if you did not, you would be in big trouble. Let me see you smile. (Dele wince grimaces.) You need to work on that.”



Bull -
1. Chunk: “Oh look, you gave birth to a sporting good. What do you got? A Wilson? A Spalding?”
2. Taylor: “Normally, don’t you put on your coat and mittens and then your scarf?” Bull: “It’s a baby sling. You had a baby, didn’t you?” Taylor: “Yeah, but it didn’t come with one of those.”
3. Reggie: “I made him promise he was done.” Chunk: “And you just took him at his word? He’s 16. He thinks his life is on the line. How could you just leave it at that?” Reggie: “I didn’t.”
4. Manuel: “She’ll just keep fighting and fighting until it kills her or kills us. He was her everything. He was my everything too, but the longer I think about it, Antonio would have done anything to stay in that school.” Bull: “What are you trying to tell us?” Manuel: “Tell them we’ll sign the agreement now. She’ll hate me for the rest of our lives together, but I’ll hate me if I don’t put a stop to this.”



Charmed -
1. Maggie: “I know it's a lot. So it's okay if you have questions.” Jordan: “What about flying broomsticks?” Maggie: “It's not a thing.” Jordan: “Pointy hats?” Maggie: “Only on Halloween.” Jordan: “Water.” Maggie: “Good for drinking, not for melting.” Jordan: “Witches and humans?” Maggie: “What about them?” Jordan: “Are they allowed to... fraternize?” Maggie: “Uh… They can, but it's… It's complicated and… It rarely works out.” Jordan: “But they can be friends?” Maggie: “They can.” (Maria)
2. Harry: “I should get going.” Macy: “Oh... going where?” Harry: “Make sure Abigael's antidote took hold. We did leave rather abruptly.” Macy: “Harry, how can you go back there after she manipulated you?” Harry: “Well, we still need her on our side, Macy.” Macy: “You have feelings for her.” Harry: “And if I did, why would it matter to you?” Macy: “Because she's evil. I don't want you to get hurt.” Harry: “Macy, I'll take care of my affairs, you take care of yours.” (Maria)
3. Harry: “All right, let's drop the pretense. You know damn well how I feel about you, so please, don't make this harder than it already is. You should have what and whomever your heart desires, Macy. Goodbye.” (Maria)
4. Mel: “You're just a wealth of shady information, aren't you?” Ray: “Eh, well, you know, some fathers teach their daughters how to fish, and I teach them black market survival skills.” Mel: “You can do both. You know, if you want to stick around. Of course you can't.” Ray: “Mel, I want to stay. I do. I want to stay right now, just like I wanted to stay then. But it isn't always about what we want, is it?” (Maria)



Emergence -
1. Helen: “I want what Piper has.” Emily: “Well, I can talk to Chief Evans and see if she wants to adopt you. No promises.”
2. Benny: “I was programmed to do this, okay? In the same way that I was programmed to kidnap Piper and to lie to you. You have to understand, I didn’t have any control.” Jo: “You don’t get to plead insanity on this. I think you knew exactly what you were doing from day one.” Benny: “No, no, I’m not that person anymore.” Jo: “You’re not a person at all.” Benny: “I’m as much as Piper is.” Jo: “No, you’re not.”
3. Emily: “Well the joke’s on you, Helen. All those amazing abilities Piper has were an accident, a coding error, and I have no idea how to replicate it. And then her way of motivating me is threatening to stick a knife in my throat, and who can work under those conditions? Nobody. This is insane...or karma. It might be karma.”
4. Piper: “It worked. How’d you figure it out?” Jo: “Oh, you know, grown up magic.” Piper: “Benny told you.” Jo: “Yeah, Benny told me, but all that means is that he is very smart.” Piper: “He’s changed, Jo.” Jo: “We don’t know that.” Piper: “I know that.” Jo: “You can’t know that.” Piper: “He could have hurt you, or worse, but he didn’t.” Jo: “Because Chris was there.” Piper: “No, I can see it, Jo. Can’t you just stop being mad at him?” Jo: “I can’t, Piper.” Piper: “Even if I’m right?” Jo: “Even if you’re right.”



FBI -
1. Jubal: “Look, Isobel, I think Dan stole that cash. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.” Castille: “Jubal, I get it. Trust me. But I cannot accuse a decorated agent without any real proof.” Jubal: “You can’t or you don’t want to?” Castille: “Get the hell out of my office.”
2. Beth: “Will this get back to my parents?” Scola: “Of course it will, which is absolutely the least of your worries right now.”



Fresh Off the Boat -
1. Eddie: “He’s frustrated I got a 1500 on my SATs without studying.” Simryn’s dad: “I take it fitted sheets weren’t on the test.” Eddie: “I think he’s jealous because I’m a natural.” Dad: “Man, I don’t understand this obsession with being a natural.” Eddie: “I mean it’s kind of awesome. I crushed the SATs. Don’t even remember filling in the ovals.” Dad: “Congrats, you’re a natural at something useless that makes no money.” Eddie: “Could you switch bodies with my mom?” Dad: “Look around. If we hadn’t put in the work, the Magic Motor Inn would never have made it to AAA’s list of most affordable motor lodges off the I-4 in East Orlando.” Eddie: “Could you switch bodies with my dad?” Dad: “The point is natural talent only takes you so far. The key to success - hard work.”
2. Jessica: “These kids think they’re so smart. Good luck in the apocalypse.” Simryn’s dad: “They’ll be the first ones eaten.”
3. Eddie: “You have the greatest natural talent of all - your work ethic. That’s what makes you so special.” Evan: “And how is that special?” Eddie: “Anyone can get lucky every now and then, but your focus will help you succeed in anything you want. That’s why you’ve got to get back in that spelling bee and bring home the Iron Man.”
4. Jessica: “SAT results arrive this week.” Eddie: “Already?” Jessica: “Yes, and I’m gonna camera capture your face when you see your score. It’ll either be a look of joy or a portrait of failure they’ll put on the back of a milk carton when I make you go missing.” Louis: “They only do that for the blond kids.”



The Good Place -
1. Michael: “Take it sleazy.” (Shirleena)



Grey’s Anatomy -
1. Ben: “Are you okay to operate on your Residents?” Miranda: “Wouldn‘t be the first time.” (Marko and Diana)



Legacies -
1. Hope: “I love you Landon. I love that you can't take a punch. I love that you won today using your brain and not brawn, and I love that you're always trying to be better. But, um, I don't want you to be the hero. The hero's never the one that's left standing. I'm not gonna train you to fight with me anymore. Not if the monsters are back.” Landon: “Well, I'm not stopping. If you won't train me, I'll find someone who will-so that we're both standing at the end of this.” ~I adore the dynamic between Hope and Landon. It's the girl who's the knight in shining armor for a change. Hope thought she wanted Landon to be able to defend himself, but does she really trust him to be able to? The thought of losing him is terrifying so she doesn't want to help him anymore, and poor Landon just wants to be strong enough to fight alongside his girl- poor guy. Love Legacies! (Naomi)



Lincoln Rhymes -
1. Lincoln: “I thought losing the use of my arms and legs was the worst thing the Bone Collector did to me, but it wasn’t. I let him take what I did, who I am. I’m getting that back. I’m not going to walk again, but I can do this better than anybody, with your help.”
2. Sellitto: “Turn him off. You want to know the key to working with Lincoln Rhymes?” Amelia: “Xanax.” Sellitto: “It’s remembering he has a fatal flaw. He cares too much.” Amelia: “And he has a God complex.” Sellitto: “Maybe he does. He’s also angry and impatient. But the truth is, and don’t you ever quote me on this, he is smarter than the rest of us. Not in all ways. Sometimes he can’t see the forest for the trees, but if you can get past the bluster, he’ll make you better.”
3. Lincoln: “You’re two for two.” Amelia: “Is that praise from the great Lincoln Rhymes.” Lincoln: “Praise, tempered by observation. You’re not afraid.” Amelia: “That’s a good thing, right?” Lincoln: “Sometimes. Sometimes fear provides caution. Sometimes caution is the better part of valor.” Amelia: “Would you have done any different?” Lincoln: “We’re not talking about me.”
Amelia: “Lincoln, if I’m gonna be your eyes and ears and arms and legs, I’d better know how you would do it.” Lincoln: “How about this, maybe, between the two of us, we try to do it better than either of us would alone.”
4. Amelia: “I feel like I’m on a leash.” Sellitto: “You can always ignore him. Lord knows, I do.” Amelia: “Easier said than done.” Sellitto: “It’s like putting God on mute.”



Nancy Drew -
1. Everett: “Thanks for accepting our invitation. It’s been too long.” Diana: “Has it. And I was thinking it could have been a bit longer.” Ryan: “Oh man, I wish I still drank.” (Prpleight and Dahne)
2. Everett: “Dirty cop. He'll pay for what he did.” Owen: “I think you've paid him enough.” (Prpleight)
3. Diana: “If you're done threatening my nephew, Everett, can you pass the salt? My soup is a bit bland.” (Prpleight)
4. Nancy: “I figured this is the only way to get you to abandon your non-tactic of just sitting in there and letting people think you’re guilty.” Carson: “Nancy, please listen to me...” Nancy: “Since you won’t stand up to the Hudsons to protect yourself, I’m hoping you will do it to protect me.” Carson: “You’re taking your life in your hands.” Nancy: “No, I’m putting it in yours because I need my dad back.” (Dahne)
5. Bess: “Oh, I actually keep a running tab on the Marvins at all times. Not in a stalker way. I had to know exactly where they were in order to avoid them before I could present myself. I’m like a reverse stalker.” Nancy: “When it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent, I am somewhat of a repeat offender.” (Dahne)
6. Nancy: “I think my dad being in jail qualifies as more than just stuff.” Owen: “Absolutely, and it deserves that insanely reckless, singularly focused drive that makes you great.” Nancy: “Oof, why doesn’t that feel like a compliment?” Owen: “It’s recognition. We both go after what we want and we usually get it, even if it means other things fall by the wayside. Other people too.” ~It’s about time someone confronted Nancy for being self-absorbed. (Dahne)



Perfect Harmony -
1. Ginny: “Are you okay?” Arthur: “The worst thing in the world just happened to the person I hate most. You’d think I’d be happy but I’m sad.” Ginny: “Well, of course you are. You’re not a monster.” Arthur: “Oh really. I tried to keep you from taking a shot at a better life.” Ginny: “Ugh. It doesn’t matter. I screwed it up and I am sure that I will not get it.” Arthur: “Oh I’m sorry. Back to me. What the hell am I supposed to do? I mean ever since Jean died, revenge is the only thing that’s been keeping me going.” Ginny: “On the surface maybe, but underneath, I mean wasn’t it about friendship and community and the joy of making music with us?” Arthur: “Nah, I don’t live in Mr. Roger’s neighborhood...unless there’s a bar.”
2. Adams: “I met someone.” Keith: “That’s amazing.” Adams: “Except, because of our secret, he thinks I’m a murderer.” Keith: “That gives you the upperhand in the relationship. I don’t see the problem.” Jax: “Secrets can be a real burden.” Keith: “Oh really, I wouldn’t know that as a gay, black man in Kentucky.”
3. Jax: “Your dead husband is alive?” Adams: “No, my alive husband, who’s about to be dead. You stole my life and my dress.”



Prodigal Son -
1. Martin: “I still owe you that cup of tea, don’t I?” Gil: “I switched to coffee.” ~This quote exemplifies all that I love about Prodigal Son and its dry humor. It calls back to when they first met and Malcolm, as a child, saves Gil from unwittingly becoming another poisoned victim of the Surgeon. However, it also signifies the duality in Malcolm and the two men who most shaped his life.
2. Jessica: “All right, now everything’s gonna be just fine. Oh, honey. One thing you learn having kids. Head wounds bleed like crazy but they heal so fast.” Ainsley: “Mom?” Jessica: “What?” Ainsley: “I’m sorry.” Jessica: “Oh, shh. You...just relax, okay? Oh, you’re gonna have a hell of a headache tomorrow. It’s a good thing your mom has a highly curated collection of painkillers.” ~What makes this quote golden is that a serial killer is hacking away at the door of the room they are in while she’s saying it. I love how calm and matter-of-fact she is in between the axe blows. Jessica remains one of my favorite new characters.
3. Malcolm: “No, stop. You don’t have to do this.” Watkins: “Not, but I do. It’s my calling.” Malcolm: “I know that voice, the one inside your head. Maybe it started with your grandfather saying you were worthless, but...but it evolved into something more powerful, undeniable. It will never be satisfied and neither will you.” (pause for less interesting scene) Malcolm: “I hear that voice too from my father. I can hear him, I can see him, but I don’t have to listen to him. So don’t. Don’t listen to the voice.” Watkins: “The thing is I like the voice. It’s a part of me and right now, it’s telling me to hurry.”
4. Jessica: “Gil, this is a world I know nothing about. The man you need to speak with is locked in solitary.” Gil: “Yeah, I’ve got a friend in the FBI who’s working on that. I’m going to visit the Surgeon.” Jessica: “Well you can kill that SOB for all I care. Just find my son.”



Schooled -
1. Rick: “Turns out she was only pretending to like the Eagles.” Wilma: “So, it’s all good as long as she’s not a whack-a** Cowboys fan. Is she a Cowboys fan?” Rick: “She doesn’t like any teams because she doesn’t like football.” Wilma: “So she likes baseball?” Rick: “No.” Wilma: “Volleyball?” Rick: “She doesn’t like sports.” Wilma: “What? Is she some kind of maniac?” Rick: “Hey, that’s the love of my life you’re talking about, but yes, she may be a maniac.”
2. Lainey: “Liz, I don’t want to be your enemy. I want to be your friend.” Liz: “Really?” Lainey: “Yes. I’m sorry I’ve been so judgy.” Liz: “Same, and even though I hate to admit it, I’ve always kind of wanted a cool friend like you.” Lainey: “If you ask me, you’re brilliant and strong and you know who you are. There’s nothing cooler than that.”
3. Julie: “Look, it’s amazing that we can finally say it, but it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t do sports.” Rick: “And I’m not asking you to, because as much as I love my teams, I love you more.” Julie: “I love you too, Rick Mellor.”
4. Wilma: “You guys are weird.” Rick: “But professional. You see, normally, I would give her a kiss goodbye, but this is a place of business so I’m going to send her off with an appropriate farewell canoodle.” Wilma: “For the record, canoodling is one thousand times more disturbing than a kiss.”



Single Parents -
1. Derek: “It’s not fine. I’ve been thinking about what you said. I’m so sorry. I know I can’t make up for years of being gone, but I can try to be better now, if you’ll let me.”
2. Angie: “I have designed this weekend to run like a corporate retreat. We’ll exchange names, a few fun facts, and then we all go home with a tote bag and an opinion of Houston that remains 100% unchanged.” Douglas: “Living together has brought us closer this year. I regret that.”
3. Angie: “I think it’s time for you to go. Okay? I’m clearly too sick to protect Graham.” Derek: “Protect Graham? Is this really about Graham or is it about you? Cause it feels like if it was about Graham, you’d let me help.” Angie: “Alright, maybe it is about me. Okay, maybe I’m mad because I could have had help for 8 years worth of stomach flus but I didn’t because you abandoned us.” Derek: “Look, Angie…” Angie: “No talky. Just listen-y. I have made it through mother-son sick days his whole life and I’m gonna do it again today.”
4. Graham: “How do I look?” Douglas: “Dynamite, like a rich kid going to court for murder.”



Stumptown -
1. Poppy: “Why are you here? Did something happen?” Dex: “Oh honestly, for the first time since I got back, I’ve found something that I’m good at and today someone decided to take that away from me.” Poppy: “Based on what?” Dex: “Nothing really. Hurt feelings, lies.” Poppy: “Are you gonna do something about it?” Dex: “Well there’s nothing I can do. I just have to see how it all plays out.” Poppy: “So you’re just gonna roll over and let it happen?” Dex: “Well.” Poppy: “One of the first things I learned in Basic was, at a time of war, you take the fight to your enemy. You can’t sit around, clicking your heels, waiting for unreasonable people to become reasonable because they never will. You have to take the fight to your enemy.”
2. Ansel: “Remember now? Today was the day you came to get me 12 years ago.” Dex: “That’s right, and...uh, we went to Romy’s Dinner and I got you a slice of baked Alaska.” Ansel: “You told me everything would be okay.” Dex: “I did and I meant that. You know I’m always gonna be here for you, buddy, right?” Ansel: “And I’ll always be here for you.”
3. Ginger: “Remember, never apologize for being a strong, single woman with your own money, your own life, your own business, your own good time, because you’re gonna encounter a lot of people who are threatened by it and they’re gonna try to take it away from you just to make them feel bigger.”
4. Ansel, about making Baked Alaska: “This is hard.” Tookie: “Hard? No. Tacos Chicharron is hard. This is the Manhattan Project. What about a nice cupcake?” Ansel: “No.” Tookie: “Rice Krispy treat?”



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."