A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Mel, talking to Robyn about online dating: “Dating is a numbers game, girlfriend. It is...and my number is 1. It’s just you, my Harry McBeary.” Harry: “Okay, that’s not a name we agreed upon.”
2. Harry: “No, alpha guys don’t need to chase. We just put out our pheromones and wait.” Mel: “Okay, alpha. Well, your pheromones were Axe body spray and printer toner before I got a hold of you.” (Dahne)
1. Mrs. Soong, after Althea’s future father-in-law brings up a prenup: “Can I just say, my mother's necklace looks lovely on you.” Althea: “Am I worth more with it on? That's why you gave it to me, right?” Mrs. Soong: “I'm sorry?” Althea: “That's what tonight was about right? My bridal price? Now with this prenup, my objective value? Let's just say it out loud and put it in writing. But we won't do it in dollars because that would be tacky. What about ducks? How many ducks am I worth? Hmm? Let's have an auction. I'll open up the bidding at 4 ducks for my legs. Do I hear 4 ducks? Or how 'bout my brain I definitely got a 20 duck brain. Do I hear 25? Okay. What about my body? I've been told I have ‘nice curves for a Chinese girl.’ “ Mom: “Althea.” Althea, as she removes the necklace and leaves the room: “Why am I negotiating? The object never has a say in what she's worth.” (Prpleight)
1. Bozer: “Hey, if I’m gonna die, I want to do it with my best friends...in matching pj’s...fighting aliens.” ~~~BWAH!
3. Desi, seeing Mac’s secret escape hatch: “What is this?” Mac: “Everything I need in case Murdoc decides to show up again. I call it ‘MacGyver’s Hideout.’ “ Bozer: “It feels like the ‘Mac Cave’ is the cooler option, but you do you.”
3. Russ: “Here’s to the next chapter of our work here at the Phoenix.” Matty: “From now on, it’s us against the world.” Bozer: “Doing whatever we damn well please.” Desi: “And having each other’s back.” Riley: “Because that’s what family does.” Mac: “You’re right. We have each other and that’s all we’ve ever needed.” ~~~To be honest, my favorite part of the episode is the title card that says, “Still, no alien sightings,” but that’s not technically a quote so these 3 get the nod for the series finale quotes. (Dahne)
1. Young!Thomas: "Why is he hurting the horse?" Bernardo: "Oh, he ain't hurting the horse. He's breaking him." Young!Thomas: "Breaking him?" Bernardo: "Yep, that's what we call training a horse." Young!Thomas: "He looks scared." Bernardo: "He is. But that's because they took him from his herd." Young!Thomas: "Why'd they take him away?" Bernardo: "Well the herds get too big and the wild horse, well they gobble up all the food before the native animals like deer can eat." Young!Thomas: "So, he just misses his family." Bernardo: "Yeah. He does. But the hurt won't last forever, Thomas. He'll be happy again. It's just gonna take time, mijo."
2. Ethan: "I just can't help but wonder if there's anything else you're not telling me." Higgins: "I've been truthful about everything that matters most. I have shown who I am to you in a way that I didn't think was possible after Richard. Okay? My feelings for you are very real. I love you, Ethan." Ethan: "I love you too. But right now, when I look at you... it's not the same. I don't know if I can trust you. And I'm gonna have to figure that out." (Folie-lex)
1. Alex: "I was gonna tell you the choice I think you should make, and I was gonna tell you, you had no choice. But... it's your decision, and I think you should make it." Evan: "What? Are you kidding me? You never don't tell me what to do." Alex: "Well I'm starting now. I'm gonna back off and let you make your own decision and be your own person." Evan: "But this one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make." Alex: "I know it is, and I trust that you're gonna make the right one. I support you no matter what. But this is part of growing up." Evan: "Can't you just treat me like a child? Please?" Alex: "No." Evan: "Just tell me what I need to do." Alex: "It's totally up to you... I love you." Evan: "I don't care." Alex: "Yes you do." Evan: "No I don't." Alex: "Yes." Evan: "No."
2. Connie: "Our team was a bunch of forgotten nobodies. But Coach Bombay made us into champions, because he taught us it wasn't about the win. That's right, cardboard cut-out guy. It was about everything else: the fun, the heart, the team. Ducks fly together." (Folie-lex)
1. Bishop: “Hey, how’s Gibbs?” McGee: “I’m not sure. He said, ‘There’s more to life than the job.’ ” Bishop: “Gibbs said that?” McGee: “Yeah. Like <I>Invasion of the Body Snatchers</i>.” ~~~McGee goes to visit a sidelined Gibbs and hears something surprising. (Kath M)
2. McGee: "Boss, don't you miss it? The job." Gibbs - "More to life than a job, McGee." (Jessica C)
3. Leon Vance: "As a father, I can't imagine doing to my kid what your father did to you. But you're one of my best agents, Nick. And with Gibbs gone, I can't afford to lose another." (Jessica C)
4. Eleanor Bishop: "I'm so proud of you." Nick Torres: "You know, it's never too late to start all over again. Right?" (Jessica C)
1. Amalia, trying to recruit Touched: “We want you to join us. At the Orphanage.” Annie Carbey: “And you want to kill me.” Amalia: “We’re all contradictions.”
2. Annie Carbey: “My natural instinct is to burn things down.” Amalia True: “We can accommodate that.” (Kath M)
1. Jessica Whitly: “Once I committed to do that book, I’m going to do it right. Even if that means some PTSD memory orgy.” (Kath M)
2. Edrisa: “I go by KarmaSutures. It's a double entendre because I'm always sewing up bodies and I like sex.” (Prpleight)
1. Marcel: "You can keep your coke and your bullsh-t apologies. I'd rather my people starve than be in business with you. Rat."
2. Kelly-Anne: "Let me guess. You raided one of our trucks and didn't find anything?" Agent Panetta: "We had reason to believe that that truck...-" Kelly-Anne: "You have zero reason to believe my client was involved in any drug-related activities but you went after her anyway because she's a Mexican immigrant. Now I hate to break it to you, but the last time I checked that is racial profiling, and that actually is a crime. So now you're harassing my client. So let me make this super-duper clear: if you so much as step foot in any of my client's establishments not only will you have a fat lawsuit on your hands, but I will personally call every news outlet in the country and let them know just how abusive, racist and unconstitutional your cute little task force you have actually is. Do I make myself clear?"
3. James: "It's done. I left the thumb drive with the ledger, and the feds were first on the scene." Teresa: "Thank you... When the story breaks, it won't just help Dumas. All the boys Lafayette put away, this could give them a second chance." James: "Yeah, I hope so." (Folie-lex)
What Else We’re Watching -
1. Delilah: “See, I told you it wasn’t my fault. There are at least 7 other accident claims about that pothole.” Robyn: “Where did you get that?” Delilah: “City records.” Robyn: “Wow, that is a lot of effort NOT to take responsibility. So let me ask you this - what are you gonna do about it?” Delilah: “What do you mean?” Robyn: “I mean, are you gonna do something about it or are you gonna let it happen to somebody else?” Delilah: “Okay, do something like what?” Vi: “As much as that school costs, they don’t teach you civics. This is a government of the people, by the people, for the people. You want to change something, you change it. When they wouldn’t give us the vote in Wisconsin over women’s rights, we marched and demanded it.” Delilah: “You want me to march over a pothole?” Vi: “I want you to figure out what works for you and then run with it.” Robyn: “I want you to march over a pothole.”
2. Robyn: “Why would Harrington be funneling money to a Hawala?” Harry: “You might want to ask your old employers because this one just happens to be on a CIA watchlist for funding…” Robyn: “...terrorism. Well, that’s not a good look. Remind me, Harry. People tend to frown on that, don’t they?” Harry: “Only the good ones.” (Dahne)
1. Kira: “What exactly is missing from your life that would make you enter a pageant?” Barbara Jean: “That's a good question Bob. I wanna be a role model. Not just to grandmas, but to all people everywhere. To show compassion for the human race by visiting children's wards, volunteering at retirement homes and reading to the eyeless.” Reba: “You mean to the blind?” Barbara Jean: “No. I mean the eyeless who can see.” Reba: “Why is it the stuff normal people try to forget, you brag about?” (Prpleight)
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