A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Chief Byrnes: “Let me tell you something, you dumb mick. We serve the rich and in return they raise us above the primordial filth and God help us if we don’t keep our end of the bargain. To them, we are nothing more than dumb animals...”. (Claire)
1. Ash: “We gotta do that thing. What’s it called like when you’re driving in a car, putting on deodorant, and trying to drink a beer at the same time?” Kelly: “Reckless endangerment?” Ash: “No. Kelly, keep up. Multitasking! That’s it! We can do this. We’ll wail on evil and provide Elk Grove with hardware at a reasonable price.” Pablo: “But…” Ash: “But not that reasonable.” Kelly: “I missed him.” (Prpleight)
1. Leonard: “Why do I have to be Robin?” Sheldon: “If you have to ask, you’re Robin.”
2. Leonard: “I made a deal with him to get you the Athenaeum for your wedding.” Sheldon: “Why would you do that?” Leonard: “Because I was a jerk for lying to you before and besides you’re my best friend. I want you to have the wedding of your dreams.” Sheldon: “On Mars?” Leonard: “Okay, I want Amy to have the wedding of her dreams.”
3. Sheldon: “Oh, I suppose we can pick another date.” Amy: “Well, it took you 9 months to pick that one. I’ll pick a different husband first.”
1. Anissa: “I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness so other people can have theirs.” (Naomi)
2. Jefferson: “Jennifer is already too much to handle without powers.” (Naomi)
3. Lady Eve: “I'll throw him off that bridge when I get to it.” (Naomi)
1. Louise Lispector: “A person can only give so much and then they’ve got nothing left to go around...” ~~~Her brother was a troubled drug addict and she has spent years looking for him and years before that trying to save him. She is a savior. (Claire)
1. Blake: “...and the whole LZBT community…” Stephen: “Close enough.” (Marko)
1. Barry: “You're my lightning rod, Iris.” (Naomi)
1. Jo: “She's not your MerMer anymore. She is Harper Avery Award Winning Surgeon Meredith Grey.” (Marko)
1. Danny: “What if we are the only people left on earth, then what? What are we supposed to do? Repopulate?” Tani: “That’s a hard no.”
2. Steve: “What’s the opposite of a motivational speaker? Cause whatever that is...you’re that.” Grover: “Yeah, I don’t know. No, I...I think my man’s got a point.”
3. Odell: “Next time you feel the urge to pick up a pair of clippers, don’t. I mean this is...this is a travesty.” Steve: “What are you talking about?” Odell: “You call me instead, please.”
1. Frank: “It killed me to keep this from you, but you were going to the Supreme Court. You didn’t need more problems.” Annalise: “Stop. I know you’re trying to protect me. I can’t be mad at you for that.” Frank: “Of course you can.” Annalise: “I don’t have the energy to be mad at you anymore Frank or anyone else. Let’s just forgive ourselves for once, even if we don’t deserve it.”
2. Michaela: “Are we the most horrible people you’ve ever met?”
3. Frank: “You’re going to get him back.” Laurel: “You don’t know that.” Frank: “I do. You hear me, no matter what I have to do, I’m bringing that kid home to you.” Laurel: “No more dead people.”
1. Roger: “Riggs, this is coming very close to being categorized as a shenanigan.”
2. Riggs: “I do not want the advice of a man who is sleeping on my floor because he was evicted by the most patient woman on the planet.”
3. Roger: “You know what, one day when I’m gone…” Riggs: “Oh God, please make that be today.”
1. Meadows: “They thought you were dead, but it looks like you were playing hooky. Huge mistake not being dead.”
2. Meadows: “Okay, no more coffee for you two. You cracked out morons are all jacked out on beans.”
3. Meadows: “A bloody shirt. Okay, that is not ideal.”
1. Riley: “You know things are bad when Jack Dalton’s the voice of reason.”
2. Jack: “Look around you. Okay, I don’t speak Ukrainian but this sign in any language is bad news.”
3. Jack: “I’m just saying you gave that child of the radioactive corn my favorite stuff, man.” Riley: “Yeah well maybe the real question you should be asking is why you like to wear things teenagers find cool.”
1. Walter: “This is my worst work day ever and I was once accidentally blasted into space.”
2. Laverne: “We’re gonna die here today.”
3. Toby: “That’s an immaculate reception.”
1. Rick: “Carl's dead, he wrote letters. He wrote one to you, he asked you to stop, he asked me to stop. He asked us for peace. But it's too late for that. Even if we wanted a deal now it doesn't matter. I'm gonna kill you.” (DarkUFO)
2. Enid: “Why would you kill us? To punish us? Don't you get it? Killing is the punishment.” (DarkUFO)
3. Negan: “You set this course Rick. Who's next?” Rick: “You are!” (DarkUFO)
1. Grace: “What I’m trying to say is I’m happy, which means that I made the right choices and if you’re happy, that means you did too and we should be applauding each other. I have an actual...actual wish for this baby. I hope that whatever she chooses to do with her life that she never has one second of worry about what other people think.”
2. Jack: “Tap it twice.” Will: “There’s a little heart. What...why is there a little heart?” Jack: “You just liked it.” Will: “I don’t want to like it. I don’t want him to know I was here. Undo it.” Jack: “Relax. Just tap it again Insta-Grandma.”
3. Will: “Look at this place. It’s like prom, where the pregnacy’s out in the open.”
1. Sheldon: “My teeth are small but my prefrontal cortex is enormous.”
2. Libby: “You have a bathroom schedule?” Sheldon: “You don’t.”
3. George: “He may start college in a couple of years. What happens then?” Mary: “Off the top of my head, he and I share a dorm room.” George: “You know I’d laugh at that if I didn’t kind of believe you.”
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