A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Iris: "Woof." (Axy)
2. John: "Sorry I'm late. Did you get my text?" Alex: "Yes and it's clearly more considerate than you because it showed up at 6 like you were supposed to." (Dahne)
3. Sally: "I've seen what your caring looks like. We've all seen it." Iris: "Yeah well at least I care about something. You think I want to be here surrounded by junkies and decay?" Sally: "Well then why don't you leave? Go. You've been whining about the same thing for 20 years. You talk a good talk but you stick around because the truth is you like it." Iris: "No. I'm stuck in this godforsaken cesspool of pain and sh** because of you. You're the beginning and the end of all my suffering." Sally: "Good." (Dahne)
4. Alex: "I love you so much. He just looked so much like you. I see him in your face every day and I just want to die. It's not fair they took my little boy from me and I can't even look at the one person in the world who understands how I feel. I just need a break from it all." John: "You have to hope." Alex: "I can't stop hoping. That's the worst part." (Dahne)
1. Arrow: "Only the dead have seen the end of war." (Prpleight)
2. Oliver: "Felicity Smoak, you have failed this omelet" (Axy)
3. Damien: "You signed up to do my will. I want to know everything about this Green Arrow. I want to know where he lives and who he loves, and I want him off the boards by the time my associates arrive." (Nirat Anop)
4. Thea: "I told you guys to call me Red Arrow!" (Nirat Anop)
5. Damien: "Cities are like puppies. You see them writhing in the street, you put them down. You don't let them suffer." (Nirat Anop)
1. Sheldon: "It's bad enough I'm being taken against my will. I don't see why it has to be in some hippy's mobile sex dungeon." Howard: "Well Sheldon, there's something about this van that you're going to find very interesting." Sheldon: "What? It runs on syphilis."
2. Leonard: "Guys, excuse me. Not that calling one of the Avengers isn't a perfectly reasonable choice, but we're scientists. Don't you think we can figure this out using actual science?" Sheldon: "Yes, we could use science but it's your bachelor party. Lighten up."
3. Sheldon: "Viva la Imodium."
1. Red: "I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience, but it appears we'll all be taking an extended lunch. However, if you remain calm and do exactly as I say, I promise you'll leave here with a rip-roaring story to tell your friends and families. Bon appetÃt." (Daniel van der Veer)
2. Red: "That's Polaris, the North Star. That's how sailors used to find their way home. When I look at you, that’s what I see. I see my way home." (Daniel van der Veer and Dahne)
3. Red: "You haven't the slightest clue how to speak to a woman, have you? Now, my friend there and I are having a very important discussion. So you just sit tight, enjoy your muffin, and if I hear you say anything other than "please" or "thank you" to Carly, I'm gonna drag you into the men’s room and wash your mouth out with soap. And if that doesn’t work, I'll cut your filthy tongue out with that butter knife. Is that clear enough for you?" (Daniel van der Veer and Dahne)
4. Ressler: "I was ordered to let Keen go and I did. I wasn't ordered to let her die." (Dahne)
5. Gerard: "Let the record reflect that I am complying under duress and that my 4th amendment right to privacy is being violated." Navabi: "As is my right not to be nauseated." (Dahne)
1. Garcia: “One man’s cowardice is another man’s wise risk aversion.” (Emma)
2. Garcia: “Charlie reminds me of the color beige.” (Emma)
3. Garcia: “His internet search history…hot magma of homicidal rage doesn’t even begin to cover it.” (Emma)
1. Russell: "You always do that? Bury the lead." Nelson: "Aw, he loves the attention. You know in his mind this is the bridge and he's Captain Kirk." (Dahne)
2. Avery: "Well if he's Obi-Wan, I want to be Yoda." (Dahne)
1. Henry: "Do you think...Can you be all that you are becoming with me here?" Barry: "You're the only family I have left." Henry: "Well, that's not really true. Don't you have another family in this room? They need your help, too, Barry. When you need me, I will be here. But right now Central City doesn't need you to be Henry Allen's son, it needs you to be The Flash. My Kid, the superhero. I have to go. I need you to tell me that it's OK." (Ben L)
2. Cisco: "You expecting trouble?" Joe: "Cops always expect trouble. In this city, I expect super evil flying monsters." Cisco: "That's a solid expectation."
3. Caitlin: "You carry a handkerchief now. What are you? 80?"
4. Joe: "You can be sad, Barry. Your parents will understand if you're not strong all the time. That is why I'm here. It's okay, son. I've got you."
1. Eddie: "Why is Shaq selling a car he can't even fit into?"
2. Louis: "Nice. Basketball-shaped tequila." Shaq: "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
3. Eddie: "Dad, he's not going to be there. It's a licensing deal. They pay the Diesel a bunch of money to slap his name on something. Shaq Fu."
1. Barry: "So does this mean you forgive me for ruining your tapes?" Beverly: "Of course. Look I know it's crazy how much I love them but they just remind of a time when you still needed me." Barry: "Mom, look at all the stuff you do for me. Everything I am is because of you. I'll always need you."
2. Beverly: "This is all your fault Phil Donahue, gorgeous white-haired b**."
3. Adam: "Goodbye R-2 and 3PO. I guess you were not the droids I was looking for."
1. Ruth: "Mrs Florrick, you're not paying for this, the campaign is." Alicia: "Yes, and they're not paying for me. I'm volunteering." (Darth Locke)
2. Eli: "When you were polling nothing, when you were banging your Ethics Coordinator, your freaking Ethics Coordinator! I stood by you." (Darth Locke)
1. Deb: "So in trying not to be a fictional character from your brother's television show, you're letting our real-life kids do whatever the hell they want and we think this is a good idea?"
2. Dean: "Guys, it's okay. She didn't like the show. But out of curiosity, Ms. Lacoste, what exactly didn't you like about it?" Claire: "Well, um, it was just a little melodramatic and cheesy, you know. And totally unrealistic when it comes to actually practicing law in any way. Does that make sense?" Stewart: "That makes perfect sense."
3. Ethan: "Dad, this is a big episode. They have to reset the whole premise." Dad: "And that's a hard thing to do." Dean: "In a graceful way, very difficult and we didn't follow up the pilot as well as we should have. You know what? We lost a lot of our audience because of it." Stewart: "Are we sure that's why?"
1. Noah: "Molly, I'm just here to help." Molly: "People have been telling me that my entire life. But all they wanna do is use me for my power. You should understand that better than anyone." Noah: "I'm not proud of my past, you know if I could change it-" Molly: "Forget about the past, Noah. This is about so much more than you, and me, and June 13th. I was there in the hospital when your daughter died." Noah: "What happened?" Molly: "We all knew what was at stake, and we agreed to do whatever was necessary, to keep them safe. Erica tried to take everything from me. But I was strong. I was really strong. And I didn't give her the location." Noah: "Of what?" Molly: "If I tell you, you won't go back. And then, we're all dead anyway." Noah: "You're not making any sense." Molly: "I can't stop Erica, but I will not let her kill seven billion people." Noah: "Molly, put the gun down, and let's talk. Okay? You're the only one who can tell me what happened on June 13th." Molly: "Forget the past, Noah. Save the future." (Laura Markus)
2. Farrah: "Watch yourself, child. I know grown men who would shake in their boots if they knew the fate of the world was in their hands." Malina: "Good thing I'm not a grown man." (Laura Markus)
3. Quentin: "Look at these people, they're digital sheep peddling their free bikes, eating their precious free sushi. Completely blind to everything that's going on around them." Noah: "You worked here for almost a year before you said anything." Quentin: "It's really good sushi." (Laura Markus)
1. Annalise: "Get me some chocolate chip cookies, I hate all this healthy food!" (Daniel van der Veer and Laura Markus)
2. Annalise: "Do you want to keep your business or do you want to go to jail for being a negligent slut?" (Daniel van der Veer)
3. Bonnie: "I made you promise not to see Frank, and then I go and hook up with Doucheface? And the worst part, I fell for that putz!" (Daniel van der Veer)
4. Oliver: "You've changed." Connor: "Yeah, 'cause of you." (Laura Markus)
5. Caleb: "I was comforting her." Annalise: "With a kiss? That's not how I comfort my siblings." (Laura Markus)
1. Ravi: "Her new is New Hope, not Final Hope. You know this. If I wanted to give her a depressing name, I would have gone with Phantom Menace."
2. Gilda: "We've located the instrument of their destruction." Vaughn: "Is that my cue to start cackling manically or shall I wait for you to provide the details?"
3. Liv: "Great. I'm grossing out a rat."
1. Ravn: "So, who have they been killing below?" Udtred: "Prisoners. Just now, a king." Ravn: "Did he die well?" Udtred: "No." Ravn: "Well, then he shouldn't have been king." (Sandi)
2. Ravn: "Tell me your name." Uhtred: "Udtred. I'm the Ealdorman of Bebbanburg." Ravn: "You are, eh?" Udtred: "I am. I own lands to the north." Ravn: "How long have you been an Ealdorman of these lands? Your father chose to fight us and is now dead." Udtred: "He, he was not fond of me." Ravn: "I now understand why my son spared you, Uhtred of Bebbanburg. You are a warrior. Have some ale. Drink it. Lots of it." (Sandi)
3. Ragnar: "You laid hands on my daughter. You stripped her naked." Sven: "Half-naked, lord." Kjartan: "He's at an age, lord." Ragnar: "Is this true? Half-naked?" Udtred: "Yes, lord." Ragnar: "Then I shall only take his one eye." (Sandi)
1. Jen: "I cannot believe you are getting a night away." Greg: "I'm going to jail. This is not night away."
2. Matt: "Don't ever get in the middle of an argument between Jen and mom that starts with 'I hear you.' The subtext is always 'I'm the one who loves Greg more.' "
3. John: "I haven't been this disappointed since you wanted that magician doll last Christmas." Greg: "It's a Darth Vader action figure." John: "It had a cape and a magic wand." Greg: "It's a light saber, Dad."
1. Sands: "You belong to Mr. Morra now, which means you belong to me." (Darth Locke)
2. {imagined) Rebecca: "You ran like a rabbit, and now you're gonna die like a snake!" (Darth Locke and Laura Markus)
3. Brian: "So I'm wondering does she likes me or does she like me on the drug?" Harris: "They're the same guy." Brian: "Absolutely not. Not true. NZT Brian can do way more stuff than regular Brian. What?" Harris: "There aren't two Brian's. There's you. Sure you can do more when you're on the pill but either way it's your character." (Laura Markus and Dahne)
4. Brian: "Honestly, I'm nervous about this whole thing. I am, okay? And I just…you know what I want to say? What I should say is thank you." Shauna: "For what?" Brian: "For being a good person. I mean you stuck with me for a long time and I know it was hard. I was really down." (Dahne)
5. Harris: "If she's interested in you because of what you can do instead of who you are, then she isn't worth your time. And if she isn't, then you're worried about nothing." (Dahne)
1. The Dark One: “As long as the Dark Ones existed, one thing has always held us back. The pull of the family we were so desperate to protect. The friendships that make it impossible to forget who we used to be. The magic that threatens to undo our most evil deeds. And, worst of all, the love that refuses to give up on us.” (Nirat Anop)
2. Grumpy: “Snow Queen, Pan, Trio of Terror. We can handle villains like that but Emma. She knows how we beat the bad guys. Heck, she beat most of them for us." (Missions)
3. Regina: “I should be figuring out how to free Merlin, not fox trotting my way across Club Medieval." (Missions)
4. Regina: “If you’re dumb enough to cross the line, be my guest.” (Missions)
1. Liam: "You better pray Agent Booth corroborates your story when he gets out of surgery 'cause if he doesn't, I am putting your face all over the news. You won't last a day in the wind." Alex: "A day is all I need." Liam: "What are you gonna do?" Alex: "I'm gonna find the needle." (Samy Bgs and Ben L)
2. Booth: "You ever think your trust issues impact your ability to see clearly. You read my file. What does it say?" Alex: "Unlike you and these e-mails, I don't believe everything I read." (Dahne)
3. Alex: "The exercise was built on information provided to us by you, but information is only worth anything if you trust the source that it came from. So I went back to the rooms to see what I hadn't seen before. You were playing us and you even left clues in each room to taunt us." (Dahne)
4. Shelby: "How are you guys not exhausted? It's like we have the Olympics in the morning and then we have to pass the Bar every afternoon." (Dahne)
1. Sylvestor: "I was nearly drugged and choked to death today. All less scary than your driving." (Prpleight and Dahne)
2. Sylvestor: "Amusement parks, funhouses, a store near my home called “Le Sexy Hutch”, and theme restaurants. all places I will not voluntarily walk into but number one on my list is prisons.” (Prpleight)
3. Molina: "Your team did fine work." Cabe: "I wish I could say the same for you." Molina: "Excuse me." Cabe: "You were willing to sacrifice one of my team to make your case." Molina: "I was thinking about 3 members of the federal judiciary." Cabe: "You were thinking about what would look worse for you - three dead judges or one dead kid. I'm a Marine. No man left behind means something to me." Molina: "My hope was to protect everyone involved." Cabe: "Don't try to politic your way out of this. I don't trust you anymore. I will never put my people's lives in your hands again and if that costs me my job, so be it. Some things are more important." Sylvester: "Thanks, Cabe." Cabe: "We're a team, right? Family."
4. Sylvester: "I have a limit of one death per day."
5. Toby: "Voila, a near perfect mimic of death. The pulse is active but undetectable with breathing more shallow than the cheerleaders of my high school."
1. Ward: "What is the point of a boat if you never take it out of the dock? It's like camping in the living room." (Swanpride)
2. Coulson: "This is why I got rid of all the S.H.I.E.L.D. logos in our vehicles. It's like screaming for attention." Bobby: "You know, there's an ginormous eagle symbol on top of our jet." (Swanpride)
3. Hunter: "Fitz, you absolute beauty!" (Swanpride)
1. Sam: "Saving people means ALL of the people, Dean. Not just that baby. Not just each other. I unleashed a force on this world that could destroy it to save you." Dean: "I told you not to." Sam: "And I'd do it again in a second. I would do it again. And that is what I'm talking about. This isn't on you. It is on us. We have to change." Dean: "What are you thinking?"
2. Dean: "We were hoping you could tell us what kind of DEFCON Screwed we are."
3. Jenna: "Show me some skin." Dean: "Heh?" Sam: "What?" Jenna: "Both of you." Dean: "This like a Magic Mike moment?"
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