A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.
1. Abby: "She's a child. They're being led by a child." Kane: "So are we." (Dahne)
2. Lexa: "I thought I'd never get over the pain, but I did." Clarke: "How?" Lexa: "By recognizing it for what it is…weakness." Clarke: "What is? Love? So you just stopped caring about everyone? I could never do that." Lexa: "Then you put the people you care about in danger and the pain will never go away. The dead are gone, Clarke. The living are hungry." (Dahne)
1. Job (sarcastically and miming): "We stealin' real id's from them, so I can make fake id's for us." Sugar: "That's all you had to say, that wasn't so hard now, was it?" (Bradley Adams)
2. Sugar: "If we were never goin' past the lobby, why you got me wearin' this damn suit?" Job: "Cause there ain't no such thing as sweatpants Monday." (Bradley Adams and Sandi)
3. Job: "I need six IDs. Try not to move your lips while you're counting." (Sandi)
1. Kate : “I’ll give it to you straight —I’m just a girl looking for a private dick.” (Sharon Seymour)
1. David Rossi: "It's all in your technique, and all those muscles of yours won't help in something like this." Finally, someone put Shemar Moore in his place! (Laura Markus)
2. Thomas Scott: "So, uh, which one's you?" Rossi: "Uh, that would be the handsome one right there." It was amazing to know that Rossi is the handsome guy in every picture. (Laura Markus)
1. Cisco: "I think you mean... The Reverse Flash. What? He said it. Not me. And, he's right. Yellow suit, red lightning, and evil. The reverse of Barry." Caitlin: "Meh." Wells: "Actually, I kinda like it." (Bradley Adams)
2. Barry: "How many more drones you have left?" Cisco: "Two. And they've got lasers." Caitlin and Wells in sync: "No." (Bradley Adams and Sandi)
3. Mick: "I should've burned the entire city block down. But instead, I listened to you. We had the painting. We had the guns. We could've had everything. But you had your stupid plan. How is that stupid plan working out for us now?" Snart: "Everyone's seen the Flash now. This changes things, again." [Tires screeching] Mick: "What the...Snart!" Snart: "Relax, Mick." Mick: "What's going on?" Snart: "The plan." [The door opens] "Hey, sis." Mick: "Nice" (Sandi)
1. Princess Isabella: "Break your vow, or I break your pipe." ~What a sassy moment from Isabella. (Laura Markus)
2. King Richard: "I ate my feelings. And a lot of bread." ~ Same, Richard. Same. (Laura Markus)
3. Madalena: "So... You sleep in the kitchen?" Chef: "Or do I cook in my room?" (Mark Ondo)
4. Isabella: "You should be with someone small and cute and ethnically hard to pin down." (Mark Ondo)
5. Jester (after Gal won't stop dissecting his and Madalena's feelings): "Oh please, just stop the torture and kill me already." Gareth: "I haven't started yet." Jester: "What? He's not part of it." (Dahne) ~This line makes me laugh so hard because I felt the same way myself. Anytime a character keeps emoangsting about feelings, it feels like torture to me.
6. Isabella: "Well how's that for timing? Our stars are finally aligning on the same day I'm going to die." Galavant: "No, no you're not going to die today. And you're not going to die today. And you're not going to die today. You might already be dead." (Dahne) ~This one is all in the delivery.
1. Jim: "I'm done being careful." Harvey: "You think you've been careful so far?" Jim: "Men like Commissioner Loeb are never gonna trust me." Harvey: "You think you've been careful so far?" Jim: "So why play nice?" Harvey: "You think you've been careful so far?" (Bradley Adams)
2. Penguin: "Hello Fish." (Bradley Adams)
1. Prosecutor: "Do you deny that you yourself have helped the Grimm?" Bud: "Have I helped the Grimm? Well, let me think. Yeah, I have." Prosecutor: "And you have no regrets for doing so?" Bud: "The only regret I have is that I can't help him now because boy would he have a field day here." (Dahne) ~I love how Bud, even though he could face death next, stands up for Monroe and Nick. He was a true hero in this episode.
2. Hank: "Damn." (Dahne) ~This one is all in the delivery. Hank chases down a hate group Wesen and tells him to stop but he runs right into Renard, who hexenibiests out and promptly kills him. This was Hank's response and I laughed so hard.
1. Sarah: "You owe me an explanation... and you owe our baby." Alan: "Our what? Are you saying we have a child?" Sarah: "No Alan, there's no child." Alan: "I'm so sorry." Sarah: "There's no child because I'm still pregnant. I've been pregnant for the last 15 months." (Darth Locke)
2. Caleb: "The dead should rest." Julia: "He's rested enough. It's time for him to get back to work." (Dahne)
1. Raylan Givens (Timothy Olyphant) after he sees a briefcase full of cash from Walker (Garret Dillahunt) to buy his father's, Arlo, house: "Forgive me if I ain't the run-of-the-mill tater tot whose eyes go all pinwheels at a stack of stolen money". (Geo)
2. Raylan : “You need to be smarter!” Dewey : “What I need is a six-dollar blow job! A smarter move, I cannot imagine.” (Sharon Seymour)
1. Kenna: "I can't imagine how it must feel. For your own mother to want you dead. I'm so sorry, Claude, I truly am." Claude: "What do you know? You're only a tart my father lost his taste for and pawned off on his bastard son!" Kenna: "I'm so sorry" Claude: "You think you're so clever! You think you know me so well! Well, if you knew anything, you'd know that Bash and I were lovers." (Sandi)
2. Catherine: "I told you that I protected you, that I cared for you, and I did. And that is why I lied for you. And so convincingly that you've come to believe it to be true. I suppose there are other monsters in the world. Their mothers have to lie for them, too." (Sandi)
1. Victoria : "You don't put a majestic peacock in a cage with a howler monkey." (Sharon Seymour)
Honorable Mentions:
12 Monkeys -
1. Jones: "Time is cruel, Mr. Cole. We are risking everything by toying with it, taunting it. Believe me I've learned enough about time to fear it…and so should you."
2. Railly: "Who are you trying to kill this time?"
3. Ramse: "Do you guys have any idea what you're doing?" Jones: "Mr. Ramse, listen to me. Mr. Cole's name was on the recording made 30 years ago. Fate gave your friend this mission. You, Mr. Ramse, are only here because he insists on it. You understand the difference? Your future is not preordained."
The 100 -
1. Maya: "5 seconds." Monty: "What happens in 5 seconds?" Jasper: "Miller realizes what a d** he is."
2. Abby: "Clarke, you don't have to do this." Clarke: "Yes, I do. If this truce doesn't hold, I killed Finn for nothing."
3. Lincoln: "Indira, wait. Let me speak for them." Indira: "You are them."
Backstrom -
1. Gravely: "Falsify evidence. Who are you? Satan?"
2. Archie: "Post-Traumatic Stress is a real thing." Almond: "For soldiers in Afghanistan, son. Not soccer players in Oregon."
3. Doctor: "This is my prescription." Backstrom: "Make a friend? What am I? Six?" Doctor: "You have one week to fill that prescription or back you go to traffic."
Elementary -
1. Kitty: "Someone hurt me, Sherlock. You hurt yourself. You don't know anything about how I am feeling."
2. Sherlock: "Given the narcissism that consumes the modern epoch, a solitary selfie is a minor miracle."
3. Sherlock: "Perhaps we should go to a meeting." Kitty: "Mine or yours?" Sherlock: "Yours." Kitty: "That's a fine idea. Not like there's a homicidal rapist about. Perhaps we could take in a show too."
4. Watson: "That sounds more like she was roofied." Bartender: "I don't know. Our clientele is pretty upscale." Watson: "Right, because rape is only committed by poor people."
Empire -
1. Carter: "Is there a bathroom around here?" Cookie: "Yeah, straight down the hall to the right and then jump out the window and straight down." Lucious: "It's down the hall to the right."
2. Cookie: "You need to watch your back." Anika: "Cookie, my father's a doctor and my mother is a debutante and so was I. Now I know you've been in jail for a minute but do you even know what a debutante is?" Cookie: "A boozy ho with a lot of money." Anika: "A ho who can slice your throat without even disturbing her pearls."
3. Jamal: "You don't have to understand me. You don't have to understand me or have anything to do with me. I'm a man…a man. So you can keep that stupid a** song and your money and whatever else that Lucious Lyon thinks that he owns. My obedience is no longer for sale."
Eye Candy -
1. Lindy: "Okay I had plans to meet him at a restaurant and he just showed up with groceries. I couldn't exactly tell him to leave." Sophia: "Yes, you could. Who just shows up with groceries? That is definitely weird. I need you to be straight up with me. Is there a serial killer in my house right now?"
2. Sergeant: "Murderer, maybe. Husband material, not so much."
3. Connor: "Look I get it. This beautiful man might be hiding something. He might not be who he says he is. He could totally mess with your life. It sounds a lot like dating in New York."
4. Sophia: "I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that romancing a murderer is not exactly a good idea." Lindy: "Well it's the only idea I have."
The Flash -
1. Heat: "That's worth money?" Cold: "It's called Fire & Ice, an abstract modern day masterpiece said to represent the dichotomy of being." Heat: "It represents to me that people with lots of money buy dumb stuff."
2. Caitlin: "That was too close." Cisco: "He told me to make it hard." Caitlin: "I'm pretty sure he didn't tell you to make him dead."
3. Caitlin: "My dead fiancé can fly. I haven't broke that to my parents yet."
Galavant -
1. King Richard: "Make no mistake, if you don't bring me Galavant, I will kill your parents. For realisies." Timothy Omundson delivered some outstanding lines of comedy. (Laura Markus)
2. King Richard: "Gareth, I know you’re not a hugger. But if you were, I would wrap myself around you like a leather jacket made of love." Such a sweet moment. (Laura Markus)
3. Monks: "We'll fetch the holy water / And holy soap as well / Cuz holy guacamole / That one reeks to holy hell."
4. King: "She's going to be so surprised." Gareth: "No she's not because you keep doing that stupid evil king whisper thing that everyone can hear."
5. Richard: "I know you're not a hugger but if you were I would wrap myself around you like a leather jacket made of love." Gareth: "Hmm, Xanax?" Chef: "So much Xanax."
Grimm -
1. Riken: "You should have killed me when you had the chance. I'm going to kill you now." Rosalee: "Like hell you are."
2. Renard: "Oh I see what the problem is. You still think we're playing by the rules."
3. Wu: "I don't know what you are, but you're no Aswang."
4. Monroe: "You call this a tribunal. Well I have a problem with that because a tribunal implies that you have the authority to judge and in order to judge, you have to know the difference between right and wrong and you don't because this is wrong, and whatever you do to any of us will never make it right and it will not change anything. What is right is my love for my wife and her love for me. That you will never be able to destroy."
5. Acker: "Guess that makes you the good cop, huh?" Hank: "Don't count on it."
6. Bud: "I forgot the question."
Helix -
1. Alan: "I've done terrible things, taken lives. My choices for self-discovery were limited."
2. Peter: "Why would Illyria be interested in some crackpot isolationist cult and why would my brother be investigating them?" Sarah: "Well I'd be surprised if he's here for the food."
3. Caleb: "How long do you have?" Julia: "I don't know. Days maybe." Caleb: "Then why bother?" Julia: "Because the other choice is doing nothing and that's unacceptable."
KC Undercover -
1. KC: "Stand back, alright. I watch reality shows. I will scratch your eyes out and scar you emotionally."
2. KC's Mom: "I get it, sweetheart. It's not easy leading a double life." KC: "I'm 16. I haven't even figured out how to live one life."
3. KC: "Morning mom. Hey I need my permission slip signed for the field trip next week. No slip, no trip. No trip, I flip."
The Librarians -
1. Baird: "You are planning on selling out the human race, aren't you?" Ezekiel: "I will absolutely sell out the human race to our new alien overlords. Don't fight them. They know what's best for us."
2. Flynn: "Jenkins, you're a genius." Jenkins: "One is aware, sir."
3. Ezekiel: "He's not taking this very well. Who is he?" Baird: "The Librarian." Ezekiel: "The way my year's been going, he's welcome to the job."
4. Baird: "I'll tell you what, we'll just fill in the crack you're about to make about us and intelligent life. Just skip right to the job." Jenkins: "Are you sure? It was quite cutting." Baird: "I promise to be properly offended. I mean I probably wouldn't even have understood it at first but I'll be offended later." Jenkins: "Where's the fun in that?"
5. Jenkins: "Only you people could lose a guardian. Librarians, yes, we go through them like tissue paper, but a guardian?"
Scorpion -
1. Cabe: "Is that a car battery?" Happy: "It's AAA approved so if we kill you, you get a free tow to the morgue."
2. Sylvester: "Are we sure this is a good idea?" Toby: "You got a better one?" Sylvester: "Better than handing over latent chemical weapons to an anti-American agent? Give me a minute."
3. Happy: "I'm sorry. Am I not scaling the building by hand fast enough for you?"
4. Paige: "Any vacation days, especially Fridays and Mondays?" Walter: "What would that indicate?" Paige: "Romantic 3-day weekends. You ever had one?" Walter: "Kind of, yeah. She left after one day."
State of Affairs -
1. Navarro: "Oh lies are the base currency of both our worlds, senator. The difference though is that I use them to protect this country and you use yours to politicize it."
2. PotUS: "Everyone lies, Charleston. It's always those closest to us whose betrayal we can't see."
3. David: "I think that this presidency was built on a promise that's not being delivered. Ar Rissalah is winning. Madam President, I know that you are a compassionate woman but right now we don't need to hear from that side of you. Right now we need the soldier." Marshall: "What exactly are suggesting, David.? That the soldier in her bomb the entire Middle East in retaliation." David: "Military strategy wasn't a prerequisite for me getting my job. It was for her."
Supernatural -
1. Megatron: "What are you doing there, slugger?" Dean: "I'm settling a score that's taken way too long to settle. Oh and while I do that, I'm going to get some information and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it because you're going to tell me everything, all of it, and it ain't going to cost me a damn dime, slugger."
2. Rowena: "I will not apologize for being a career woman."
3. Cas: "The First Blade is back in play and Crowley is the one getting it? I don't mean to be an alarmist but you…" Dean: "Yeah well you know us. When we screw ourselves, we like to go whole hog."
4. Sam: "Buddy, I don't care what happens to you. You killed my brother."
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