Quote of the Week - Week of April 12

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.

Almost Paradise -
1. Governor: “You didn’t tell me he’d have a gun?” Alex: “Well, he wasn’t gonna use it.” Governor: “How did you know that?” Alex: “He’s Canadian.” (Prpleight and Dahne)
2. Alex: “What is this? The unofficial official bad guy bar of Sebu?” (Dahne)
Ernesto to Alex: “It feels like you’re heading towards one of those ideas that puts me in mortal danger.” (Dahne)

American Housewife -
1. Oliver: “Oh you wouldn’t know what I thought because you didn’t invite me. You invited Trip, Franklin and Lonnie.” Greg: “I invited them because they do not mock me like you do. Whenever I share an interest, I can count on you to make fun of it and this reenactment is a big deal for me. So why would I want to be around you for it?” (Folie-lex)
2. Oliver: “Can you believe my dad said he didn’t want me around?” Cooper: “Are you actually asking me? ‘Cause if you’re asking me, I’m going to tell you the truth.” Oliver: “I’m asking.” Cooper: “Then yes, I can believe he said that. You can be a complete and total jerk to him sometimes.” Oliver: “Hey!” Cooper: “Do you have any idea how lucky you are? My dad’s somewhere in the Aegean Sea right now. That’s all he told me. It’s like...can’t a guy get some coordinates or something? And all your dad wants to do is share his interests with you, but you’re too busy crapping all over him to notice.” Oliver: “Where are you going?” Cooper: “I’m switching sides. Your dad’s a general worth fighting for.” (Folie-lex)
3. Franklin, on why he picked Trip as the subject of his hero paper: “We read at the same level, we have the same taste in girls, and you’re the nicest person I know. Isn’t that what being a hero is all about?” (Folie-lex)

The Baker and the Beauty -
1. Mateo: “Yo, how come she’s always the genius and we’re the idiotas.” Rafael: “This I ask myself everyday.”
2. Natalie: “Go away.” Mari: “Sorry. You didn’t get the mom that goes away. You got the mom that smothers.”
3. Daniel about Natalie: “Dad, give her a break. She just wanted to help Mom.” Rafael: “If she wants to help her mother, she’ll get into Princeton. We have already two idiotas to take over the bakery.”

Black-ish -
1. Stevens: “That is exactly why I keep none of my real estate but all of my guns registered in Connor’s name.” Daphne: “It should be so much easier to steal the rest of this company from you.” (Folie-lex)
2. Dre: “Black men do not get emotional in public. Michael Jordan cried once and it’s a meme.” (Folie-lex)
3. Dre: “What was I supposed to do, Bow? It’s like I saw him naked, and I did what I would have done had I saw him naked: I ran away.” Bow: “I...I’m trying to think of a worse possible response, but...there’s nothing.” (Folie-lex)

Bless This Mess -
1. Mike: “I just love my family so much!” Rio: “I know. I feel like I’ve witnessed more hugging today than I have in my entire childhood.” (Folie-lex)
2. Martin: “This farm is your canvas, and you are Picasso. Actually you’re better than Picasso because you don’t date teenagers.” (Folie-lex)
3. Rio, coming last from the run and out of breath: “Thank God, you guys stop every mile to do push ups. Otherwise you would have lapped me!” (Folie-lex)

Bob Hearts Abishola -
1. Guy, flirtily: “Looks like we’ll be spending some more time together.” Abishola, deadpan: “Bring a book.”
2. Dottie: “Really? 28 miles an hour?” Abishola: “Why are you complaining? I thought you didn’t want to go?” Dottie: “I don’t but I also don’t want to die of old age getting there.”
3. Dottie: “I’m guessing you’re not married.” Hank: “Because of no ring?” Dottie: “Because who’d want ya.”

Broke -
1. Luis: "I was right to push you. The raise is all because of me! Excuse me. The heat has made me say what I'm actually thinking." (Prpleight)
2. Javier: “I can’t believe we’ve been dancing around you owing us money all night because I was so afraid of what you might think if you found out that we are broke. And my wife has stuck by my side through all of this because she is the most amazing person I know. Yes, she’s from Reseda and she’s damn proud of it.” Lizzie: “Well…” Javier: “Okay, mostly okay with it and because I have her I’m the richest person in the world. So you can take your judgment…(starts chewing them out in Spanish).” (Dahne)
3. Jackie: “Lizzie’s kind of gotten in my head. Maybe I am a little harsh.” Luis: “You’re not harsh. You’re a passionate woman with a large capacity for insults.” (Dahne)
4. Amir: “I just have my walking around money.” Lizzie: “Well, walk it over here.” ~~This isn’t so much the quote itself but how much attitude it was said with that makes it awesome. (Dahne)

Brooklyn 99 -
1. Holt, repeatedly about Cheddar: “Someone took our Fluffy boy!” (Folie-lex)
2. Holt: “You’ve captured the essence of Kevin. You’ve done it.” Jake, in Kevin voice: “Correction. I’ve accomplished it.” (Folie-lex)
3. Holt: “Relax, Peralta. That wasn’t even the coolest thing I’ve ever done.” Jake: “What have you done that’s cooler?” Holt: “It was the ‘80s. It was nothing. I mean, they made a movie out of it, but whatever.” Jake: “What? What movie?” Holt: “I don’t remember the title. Uh, there was a crime on a plane. I was a passenger.” Jake: “Was it Passenger 57?” Holt: “I honestly don’t know.” Jake: “It had to have been. Just say it was that.” Holt: “You know Peralta, sometimes I don’t understand the words coming out of your mouth.” Jake: “Oh, my God! Was it Rush Hour?” Holt: “What? No. You know what? I’m too old for this crap.” Jake: “It was Lethal Weapon?! Sir! Are you Murtaugh?! Does that make me Riggs? I’m Riggs!” (Folie-lex)

Charmed -
1. Ray: “But the reason why I never told you the truth about not being your biological father was because it never really mattered to me. From the day you were born, you were my daughter, and to admit otherwise would have been a little too painful, because the truth is, I love you too damn much.” Maggie: “Love you, too, Dad.” (Marko)
2. Marisol: “I know the world can be a cruel and frustrating place. But when you feel yourself start to lose your temper, I need you to breathe. Because when women like you and I lash out, there is no second chance.” (Marko)
3. Maggie: “Look, I get that it must have sucked finding out your wife cheated and had a kid that wasn't yours, but it's also really hard to be that kid. Living a life with so many missing pieces, and not being able to talk to the one person who can fill in the blanks, because, like it or not, Dexter is gone, Mom is gone, and that just leaves you! Ray, it is just you!” (Marko)
4. Jordan: “But having a panic attack doesn't mean you're weak. It just means you're human.” (Marko)

The Conners -
1. Harris: “Your old people sex is destroying the Earth!” Ben: “We’re not going to be here that long so we don’t care.” ~~Daughter Harris thinks mom Darlene and partner Ben should adopt instead of having more children with an already overpopulated planet. (Kath)
2. Ben: “I want tiny, psychotic babies with you.” ~~Ben reassures Darlene that there is no other Baby Mama on his mind. (Kath)

FBI: Most Wanted -
1. Clint: “ Aren’t you the guy who told us when to hold the line and when to give a little?” Jess: “I guess I’m that guy.” Clint: “Yeah, you’re that guy but now you don’t have Angelyne to straighten you out.” (Folie-lex)
2. Jess: “You know, your mom used to think before she made a decision, any decision. Not like us. You didn’t think before you decided to wander off and I didn’t think before I decided to ground you. So, I was thinking, maybe we should try to be a little bit more like mom. Deal?” Tali: “Deal!” (Folie-lex)
3. Clint: “Guess the guy has a type.” Sheryll & Hana: “Melissa’s prettier.” Kenny: “They said it first.” (Folie-lex)
4. Jess: “Old-time westerns: Shane, Fort Apache. Good and bad with a hard line between the two.” Clinton: “Don’t talk to me about westerns, bro.” (Dahne)
5. Sheryll: “Keep hope alive. Denial meets delusion.” (Dahne)

God Friended Me -
1. Allie: “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but life’s too short not to be honest with the people you love.”
2. Zack: “Let me get this straight. So, hacking into the Department of Defense is off limits, but hacking into DARPA, one of the most top secret government think tanks in this country, is cool?” Rakesh: “Well actually, Cory works at DARPA, so technically we’d just be helping him gain access to his own facility.” Zack: “Oh great. I’ll make sure to tell that to my lawyer when we’re arrested for treason.”
3. Ally: “Look, I want your support, your strength, your hope, but what I don’t want is to pretend like everything is going to be okay because that only makes me more terrified.”



Killing Eve -
1. Kenny to Eve: “You really shouldn’t leave your front door open, considering the amount of people that tried to kill you.” (Kath)

MacGyver -
1. Russ: “Just once, I would like to work with a mad scientist who files things alphabetically.” (Dahne)
2. Matty: “She works at DARPA.” Cheryl: “Yeah, the money’s good and my student loan payoff date is 2064. Quick question: Have you ever had a psychotic break and if so, do you anticipate becoming violent?” (Prpleight and Dahne)
3. Mac: “When faced with obstacles in the dystopian nightmare that is your subconscious, sometimes you need a distraction so you don’t careen hopelessly down a shame spiral into oblivion.” (Dahne)

Magnum, PI -
1. Higgins: “When there’s no one here, you needn’t call me ‘Boo,’ and since Krista and Gil aren’t posing for a photo, we needn’t either. I’d rather get hit in the face with a golf shoe.
Bert: “Did somebody say golf? Gladys and I are avid players.
Magnum: “Really? So is she! Ain’t that right, Boo? (I think someone was just looking for an excuse to call someone Boo.
2. Higgins: “Ah yes, ‘tie the knot.’ That custom in antiquity, where couples are literally tied to one another, in ceremony, to signify their bond.” Gladys: “I take it you two are just dating.” (Folie-lex)
3. Higgins: “All I’m saying is, personally, I find it refreshing when a man can muster up the courage to ask me out in person, opposed to using some app.” Magnum: “Okay, so in this clear hypothetical, do you ever say ‘yes’?” Higgins: “I said, ‘I find it refreshing.’ “ Magnum: “So that’s a no.” (Folie-lex)

Mixed-ish -
1. Paul: “How is trying to help the environment a white thing?” DeeDee: “Because we didn’t make the mess. We couldn’t even own trash for over 400 years. But now you want me to help you sort it?” Paul: “Well...um, in our defence this is a very simple system.” DeeDee: “Sorry but, since we never got our reparations, littering is one of the only ways black people get to feel powerful.” (Folie-lex)
2. Adult Bow voiceover: “I couldn’t count on anyone - not my teachers or my parents, but I still knew all I had to do was stay positive.” Bow: “We don’t have long to live.”
3. Adult Bow voiceover: “When my dad fought the power, he was as cool as the wind blowing through his hair. And when my mom fought the power, she was just as cool as dad, even if Hollywood fans didn’t take into account the fact that she had different hair texture.” (Folie-lex)



NCIS -
1. Gibbs: “It shouldn’t take a war to make the world that simple.” (Kath)

NCIS:LA -
1. Fatima: “I feel like you guys always change it up.” Kensi: “What? No. There’s so much drama and intrigue out in the field that when we’re home or at the office, we are like slow and steady monogamous lifers, essentially. We’re like NCIS agents by day and CPA’s by night.”
2. Deeks to Beale: “No, my takeaway is that you’re incredibly talented and you could be working anywhere making millions of dollars but instead you choose to work here because you want to make a difference. And I appreciate that and more importantly, I appreciate you.”
3. Rush: “The FBI does not travel light.” Fatima: “Yeah, no kidding.” Rush: “You wanted a list of everyone at the agency who knew Patricia’s comings and goings since her arrival in the US in the last four days. Now you have them.” Kensi: “Okay, this isn’t a stall tactic, is it?” Rush: “Not at all. Absolutely not. We are as bloated and inefficient an agency as this list would indicate.”

NCIS: NOLA -
1. Patton, after reading the victim’s bad poetry: “Girl needs to find a better way to deal with her breakups because these words ain’t winning anyone over.”
2. Gregorio: “Hey, I don’t have Sebastian here to de-geek this stuff, so a little help.”
3. Carter: “Wait, how did I manage to p** off HQ already? I just got here.”

The Neighborhood -
1. Dave: “You made a classic mistake. You brought dolls to a moose fight.” (Prpleight)
2. Tina: “Well, if you hate it so much, then tell him to take it down.” Gemma: “I did, and he accused me of being manipulative.” Tina: “Oh, wow. So he figured it out.” (Prpleight and Folie-lex)
3. Calvin: “Not every man cares enough to trick his wife into being happy.” (Folie-lex)

One Day at a Time -
1. Elena: “We are not going trick-or-treating. We are going door-to-door to collect signatures and inform people about man-made climate change.” Syd: “Shouldn’t we say ‘person’-made climate change?” Elena: “I’m good with the men taking credit for this one.” (Folie-lex)
2. Penny: “Ah! Drag-race. That’s cute!” Avery: “Oh, no. Don’t say that.” Schneider: “Cute? Do you think I tucked and taped for ‘cute’?” Penny: “You’re in a dress. I think you tucked and taped for nothing.” (Folie-lex)
3. Syd: “Who knew Halloween was FUN!” Lydia: “Literally, everybody.” (Folie-lex)
4. Elena: “With that bobo in the White House, I can’t stand to look at an orange face right now.” Lydia: “He’s like a pumpkin. He will get thrown out in November.” (Jamie)
5. Schneider: “The prize is an Ipad Mini and I never win anything.” Elena: “You’re a rich, straight, cisgender white dude. You won at life.” Schneider: “But I want an Ipad Mini.” (Jamie)
6. Lydia: “Papito! What have you done? You look just like your abuelo. Tonight, I will put you in his suit and we will dance.” Alex: “Oh, I’ve made a big mistake.” (Folie-lex and Jamie)
7. Penelope: “Elena, is there any way this positive pregnancy test is yours?” Elena: “How many times do you want me to come out? You do know you need a man for that, right?” Lydia: “Excuse me, I think the Virgin Mary would clap back.” (Folie-lex and Jamie)



Outlander -
1. Jocasta: "How careful we would be if we knew which good-byes would be our last?" (Prpleight)

The Rookie -
1. Emmett: “Bradford’s your T.O.?” Lucy: “Yeah.” Emmett: “My condolences.” Lucy: “That’s what everyone says.” (Folie-lex)
2. Lucy, to Tim: “Look I wouldn’t ask you advice if I didn’t value your opinion.” (Folie-lex)
3. Grey: “Imma do something I never thought I would; I’m gonna buy you a beer.” Nolan: “Sir? Whoa. I’m touched that you would even offer.” Grey: “You gonna make this weird? ‘Cause I can take it back.” Nolan: “No! I’m shutting up about it right now. You wanna grab a bite to eat too, because there’s…(Grey walks away.) You know what? Just a beer. That’s fine. I’m busy, too.” (Folie-lex)

Roswell: New Mexico -
1. Isobel: “I need to talk to Max.” Rosa: “What?” Isobel: “I need to make sure that it's him in your dreams and not just some freaky drug addict nightmare that you're having, no offense.” Rosa: “Okay, you know you can't just say no offense after you say something offensive.” (Prpleight and Jamie)
2. Liz: “How did you get here so fast?” Kyle: “You called; I broke the speed limit. What else is new?” (Prpleight and Jamie)
3. Rosa: “Oh, these bitch-a** aliens.” (Prpleight and Jamie)
4. Alex: “You’ve been avoiding me.” Maria: “Well, I learned that you and all of our friends have been lying to me about aliens and murders and resurrections, so haven’t been feeling particularly social. That being said, I fell for your ex so I’ve decided, even though I’m still not speaking to them, you and I are even?” Alex: “That’s fair.” (Jamie)
5. Isobel: “Welcome back. You’ve been in a medically induced coma for twelve years. Taylor Swift is president now, which, honestly, is for the best." (Jamie)

Run -
1. Ruby: “Did you pull the handle off a toilet door because you thought I wasn't coming back?” Billy: “Nope, toilet door handles are really bad for germs. I find it's best to bring your own.” (Ellys)
2. Billy: “I had this moment of clarity that there wasn't a single person I had ever met in my entire life that I ever wanted to see again. And then I thought of you.” (Ellys)
3. Ruby: “Are you kidding me? Amazing Period?” Billy: “No! Amazing. Period.” Ruby: “But it sounds like…” Billy: “No, in America, you say period instead of full stop.” ~~When Billy gives Ruby his book. (Ellys)

Schooled -
1. Wanda: “You two are clearly in a rut.” Mellor: “You’re damn right we are!” Wanda: “Wait, do you think that’s a good thing?” Mellor: “A rut is the dream. I mean it just means the relationship is smooth sailing and there are no kinks to iron out.” Wanda: “Do you ever do Date Nights?” Mellor: “For us, every night is a Date Night. You just heard 3 of them.” Wanda: “Did you hear 3 Date Nights?” Coop: “At this point, I don’t know if I can identify a Date Night. I mean, is that when you go out and listen to music that isn’t about what direction the wheels on the bus go?”
2. John: “Good leaders don’t do everything themselves. They get the best out of everyone they lead.”
3. Julie: “Are you rocky roading at 8 am?” Mellor: “With rainbow sprinkles. Not even the new confetti colors can brighten the darkness I feel inside.” Julie: “Look, Leslie is just a friend. That’s all he’s ever been, and the job...even though I always planned on leaving this school for bigger career opportunities, I never planned on leaving you.”

Single Parents -
1. Miggy: “I said goodbye to the kid I was and hello to the man I am. Everything changed in that 76 station. I was in charge, a leader. The staff agreed I was the best of all the dads.” Douglas: “Oh how good could you have been?” Poppy: “What other dads?” Miggy: “The gas station is next to the hospital. Seven babies have been born there. The 76 seven, bonded by a bathroom stall and parents with poor time management skills.” (Folie-lex and Dahne)
2. Will: “So what are we binging?” Angie: “Gavel Town, it’s incredible. The pilot’s bad. Second episode is like a totally different show. Three to five are treading water. Six sucks, but the seventh episode has an amazing twist that will make it all worth it.” Will: “A show that takes 6 hours to get good? Yeah, I’ll give it a chance.” ~~I mean... how many times have we all had this conversation one way or the other? (Folie-lex) ~~If this doesn’t encapsulate the “stay at home” TV environment right now, I don’t know what does. (Dahne)
3. Angie: “Sometimes you just gotta let your plan go, and let yourself be embraced by a random group of weirdos. Let us be your weirdos, Sheryll.” Sharon: “Sharon.” Angie: “Sharon.” (Folie-lex)
4. Poppy: “Okay, now that Ron’s not coming, the only thing standing between Sharon giving birth in a hospital and Sharon giving birth on Douglas’ couch is us.” Douglas: “Do you know how hard it is to get placenta off of leather?” Angie: “Do you?” (Dahne)

Tommy -
1. Rima: “You’re a good chief. A sheikha. We’re not so different. Women always have power; we just have to use it subtly in this man’s world.” Tommy: “I have a police force of 12,000 men and women behind me, I have the law, and I have a gun. There’s nothing subtle about my power.” Rima: “Power is slippery. When I was a teenager, I wore miniskirts in the streets of Kabul. Now women wear burqas. Regimes change. Women feel powerful, but...men always come out on top.” Tommy: “No, not always.” Rima: “Enjoy it while you can.” ~~It was something to see these bada**, strong-willed women go toe to toe. (Folie-lex)

Young Sheldon -
1. Dale: “You go to this casino often?” MeeMaw: “Kinda. So don’t be surprised if everybody knows my name, how I take my whiskey and the colour of my lucky bra.” Dale: “Purple.” MeeMaw: “No, that’s my ‘get lucky’ bra.” (Folie-lex)
2. Dale: “Well, not much of a gambler.” MeeMaw: “You just left Georgie in charge of your store, so...disagree.” (Folie-lex)
3. Mary: “Why don’t you think of something more science-y? Like counting pi. That’s a thing, right? Pi?” ~~I love it when she tries to speak on Sheldon’s level. (Folie-lex)
4. Hutchins: “Well, since this is a high school we don’t have material about giving birth on the shelves, but since this is a high school, I keep a few things here under the counter.” (Dahne)
5. Sheldon: “So none of you can help me?” Einstein: “I believe I can. Sheldon, if I was offered a choice between all the knowledge of the universe or the endless pursuit of it, I would choose the pursuit.” Sheldon: “That’s very insightful” Feynman: “Hold it, hold it, he didn’t come up with that. He stole it from Gotthold Lessing.” (Dahne)
6. Dale to Connie: “Well, if you like me just for my body, I’m okay with that.” (Dahne)

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

FBI: Most Wanted - Silkworm - Review

As we make our way to the season 1 double finale tonight, let’s look back on the latest episode. Silkworm was most notable for a huge twist that I did not see coming, which is unusual in a crime procedural. It was written by Dwain Worrell, who also wrote episode 1.05 (Invisible). Ken Girottil made his FBI franchise directorial debut but was slated to also helm 1.14 (Getaway) until the coronavirus halted production. (Trivia Tidbit - He also directed the Supernatural episode, Home.) SIlkworm starts off typically with the bad guy acting shifty. Paul Hayden, played by Johsua Malina of Scandal and The West Wing fame, is shortly arrested by the FBI for treason and accused of selling information to the Chinese government. In most procedurals, this would mean that he was an innocent fall guy, but since FBI: Most Wanted is more concerned with the why than the who, he proves his guilt by deliberately killing an agent in his escape and critically injuring another. Now on the run with a $5 million dollar price tag on his head, Jess and crew are called in.

After some exposition on how Hayden used to be a superstar in the FBI for bringing down a Russian spy, the crew heads to Hayden’s house to interview the wife. I love how this show spends time letting viewers know more about the fugitives. Here it is particularly a plus because there is nothing sympathetic about a man willing to get other people killed for money or killing to escape. I don’t necessarily feel for Hayden but learning that he lost his only son in a bike accident humanizes him, especially after his wife describes his earlier suicide attempt. Much of the first half of the episode is the team tracking down leads, only to find that Hayden is smart. He leaves clues to distract them, sending them chasing after threads that lead nowhere.

This actually allows us time to get to know the main characters better. One of my favorite moments is when they talk about what they plan to do when they leave the FBI. It’s a small conversation that yields big insights into the characters. Kenny wants kids and a lakeside cabin, while Clinton prefers the mountains. Hana wants to sail but Sheryll and her wife want to open a clinic for at-risk youth and, of course, have grandkids. It’s not until they are on a stakeout that Jess confesses to Sheryll that his plans got derailed when Angelyne died. Still, he takes inspiration from his daughter and realizes that he needs to put himself out there more. I’m not sure what direction that will lead him in but it was a great, quiet scene.

Chasing one of the false leads, Jess ends up getting shot in the vest by a drug dealer. He’s badly bruised but fine and there’s a nice moment when Clinton asks Jess how he’s going to explain his injuries to their family. I love that they are both co-workers and family because it brings more heft to their relationship. Being shot also leads to my favorite laugh of the episode. As they are questioning the drug dealer, he tries to play innocent but then he smirks about shooting Jess in Mandarin, thinking no one knows. When Kenny responds back with his own Mandarin threat, the look on the drug dealer's face is priceless. I laughed out loud. I love how we are getting to know these characters’ pasts in an organic way through the cases instead of an overabundance of exposition.

In the end though, the biggest twist of the episode is Cassie. I knew from the beginning that Hayden had a mistress and it was easy to guess that he had a child with her. Originally, I liked how Jess kept questioning Hayden’s motivation, but it felt like they dragged this part of the episode out too long. Just when I was bored with that mystery, they completely threw me for a loop. It wasn’t until they mentioned that Cassie got a new identity in Hong Kong that I even suspected that she was transgendered. The fact that Hayden had no idea either added depth to the second half of the episode. Jess quickly realizes that the best way to capture Hayden is through Cassie and their son. However, unlike in most procedurals, Jess doesn’t immediately begin threatening her with prison. Instead, he reminds her that China is not a friendly place for transgendered people. She’s already having second thoughts because she’s scared that her son might be taken away from her. As the episode races to a close, she agrees to a sting to get Hayden to reveal where they are meeting. In a stalemate at the airport, Hayden decides that a life in prison near Cassie and their son is better than a life in China without them and viola, it’s another successful capture for the crew.


Grade: B+


Highlights:

Best Continuation - The episode starts and ends with Tali showing her dad a video she posted about being detained in the previous episode. While not going into depth about it, Marilou mentions that she is having nightmares about the experience. I’m glad they haven’t dropped this storyline. Any child would be traumatized by what happened and it’s nice to see that they have incorporated Tali trying to process it into this episode.

The “Job Well Done” Award - While each of them played a vital role in capturing the suspect, Hana is particularly on point in this episode. I love how she went undercover on the fly by striking up a conversation with Cassie in the laundromat. Pretending she was having an asthma attack was brilliant. If we do not get a case that focuses on Hana in this shortened season, I hope we open with one in season 2. She’s the character we know least about and I am anxious to know more.

Best Scene / Best Character Interaction - I tend to like the quiet moments in this show and this episode was no exception. The scene where Sheryll and Jess are in the car during the stakeout showed the bond between them. Jess trusts Sheryll with his innermost self, sharing about his future when he doesn’t want the rest of the team to hear, and that makes them great partners.

Most Fun Interaction - The Hana and Kenny dynamic is a whole lot of fun to watch. I like how they trade quips evenly, but none of it feels mean spirited. They have that easy brother-sister teasing quality that often leads to my favorite light moments.

Best News - There will be a season 2.
Best Moment - the team talks exit plans
Best Surprise - when Kenny starts speaking Mandarin
Best Action - Clinton taking down the Chinese spy
Most Persuasive - Jess talking Hayden into surrendering even though he just learned that his mistress is transgendered
Most Patriotic - Cassie for, choosing to do what helps America (and her son) over what helps the love of her life

Best Quotes -
1. Jess: “There’s nothing more precious than watching your child grow up.”
2. Zhu: “I love him more than anything, but I chose this country for me, for our son. I couldn’t turn my back on it.”
3. Jess: “Does it seem thin to you? Considering the grief over his son, his job dissatisfaction, money and romance just don’t seem enough.” Sheryll: “Maybe for you.”  Sheryll: “By the way, you never told us what your exit plan was.” Jess: “Yeah, I had a plan once. Then I lost Angelyne. I made a new plan, safe and predictable, and then a drug dealer put a slug in my chest. I don’t know. I don’t know about any plans. Tali made a video about her experience in the detention center. She posted it. Some of the reactions made my hair stand on end. I thought, ‘Take it down. Don’t put yourself out there,’ but I don’t know. Maybe Tali’s right. Maybe it’s about putting yourself out there, you know. Doing the best you can, just taking it one day at a time.”
4. Kenny: “Hey boss, you gave us a good scare there. How you feeling?” Jess: “I’m fine. My vest worked.” Hana: “That’s too bad cause you know I’m next in line to run the team. (Team laughs.) No seriously.” Jess: “One day, Hana. One day.”
5. Kenny: “If I was running off to China, doing my laundry wouldn’t be at the top of my list.”

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

The March Binge

Welcome to the Monthly Binge. The craziness that is 2020 probably has you in one of two categories: either you have no time for TV or you’ve got way too much time that needs to be filled. As a teacher with over 500 students, I am currently in category one but things appear to be slowing down somewhat. I hope to be able to binge my incredibly long to-watch list in the evenings soon. In this column, I will attempt to broaden my TV horizons and I invite you to join along. At the end, I’ve included a form you can fill out to tell me what you are binging. I’ll add 2 or 3 to the next month’s column.

Show: The Americans
Episodes: 1.01 - 1.05
Type: New to me
Rating: 4+ = I will definitely continue watching.

Summary: A seemingly normal couple with 2 kids are actually highly trained Russian spies, who will do almost anything to help Russia win the Cold War.
Best Reason to Watch: The acting, although the way they create tension in the storytelling is high up there too.
Best Character: Philip, mostly because he seems to have more empathy

Best Episode: 1.04 - In Control - Many episodes were excellent but In Control made me look at my own history in a new light. I was in elementary school when Reagan got shot, so much of that day is mere history to me. I never questioned why Hinckley shot Reagan. I never thought of it within the context of the Cold War. To see it through a historical lens gave the assassination attempt more heft and urgency. This episode also highlighted the core differences between Philip and Elizabeth, much in the same way that the pilot did, giving them plenty of intense scenes together.

Worst Episode: 1.03 - Gregory - This episode reminded me of a sad truth, even great shows can be brought low by a love triangle. This was one episodic mess of relationship issues and angst, so much so that it suffocated the conspiracy of the week. It didn’t help that it was evident that the wife wasn’t going to make it through the end, no matter how many Cuban dreams they talked about with her.

Highlights:
Best Scene - Philip and Elizabeth arguing over what to tell Moscow when Reagan is shot / Philip kills Timoshev for Elizabeth
Best Moment - the first time Philip and Elizabeth feel air conditioning
Best Later Addition - Claudia
Best Character Interaction - Philip and Elizabeth
Best Quotes:
1. Philip: “All these years, walking these streets, living with these people, you still really don’t understand this place. Haig could have 10 nuclear footballs, this still wouldn’t be a coup.”
2. Claudia: “I won’t say this job is twice as hard for women, but it’s something close to that.” Elizabeth: “I can handle it.” Claudia: “I know you can. Have you been following the sad progress of this country’s Equal Rights Amendment. Honestly, it makes me chuckle. These women here need to learn what you and I have known forever. You can’t wait for the laws to give you your rights. You have to take them, claim them, every second of every day of every year.”
3. Philip, after they literally miss the boat: “Why is everyone so punctual in this business?”
4. Defector: “I know you’re not supposed to kill me.” Philip: “I don’t think you understand how unpopular you are. I could deliver you in 100 pieces. They’d give me a separate medal for each one.”

Overview: The Americans is another very well-acted show, but it hits on a lot of other factors too. The directing is a masterpiece, with shots cropping closely to wring every ounce of emotion from the actors even when there is no dialogue, especially when there is no dialogue. Another standout is how they create tension throughout an episode. There are the action scenes, but many times it is when things should be at their most banal that the tension is the highest. For example, a neighbor asking to borrow jumper cables is not a big deal...until you are a Russian spy and that neighbor is FBI, plus you have the kidnapped defector the government is on high alert for in your trunk. Watching Philip or Elizabeth navigate those situations had me on the edge of my seat, waiting for disaster to strike. The show is not perfect. There are some pacing problems, especially in the pilot, which seemed to go on forever with a lot of pointless subplots (did we really need the pedophile guy?), but overall this show is everything the people who sing its praises say it is. There’s a definite continuation in my future.

Show: Galavant
Episodes: 1.01 - 1.08 (season 1)
Type: rewatch
Rating: 5+ = Go watch it. Now.

Summary: A knight, a princess, and a squire head off on an adventure to save the kingdom of Valencia. Yeah, that doesn’t cover it. Listen to the songs. They are the life of the show and a good summary.
Best Reason to Watch: The lyrics of the music, especially the fourth wall recapping Jester with his quips like “Will all this singing kill our Nielsen ratings?”
Best Character: This is so hard. In season 2, it is definitely King Richard but the main trio all have their moments in season 1. In the end, I am going with Galavant because, despite all his foibles, he is the one who grows the most in season 1.

Best Episode: It’s All in the Executions (1.08) - the finale is packed with all kinds of action and 2 of my favorite songs. There’s a little something for everyone in it whether it’s movement on the love story, action, humor, heartwarming moments, or a heroine/villain who saves herself. All in all, it delivers in a big way on everything that Galavant became in season 1.

Worst Episode: tie - Comedy Gold (1.04) - everything in the castle / Dungeons and Dragon Lady (1.06) - everything Xanax. Let’s just say that some side plots work better than others for me.

Highlights:
Best Character Interaction - Richard and Gareth
Best Songs (another tough category):
1. Good Night, My Friend
2. Maybe You’re Not the Worst Thing Ever
3. Secret Mission
4. Lords of the Sea
5. Togetherness

Best Quotes: ***For the record, the best quotes are in the lyrics of the songs, but since I already listed my favorite songs, I’ve chosen not to include them here.

1. Richard: “I never pollinated her flower.” Galavant: “What? Are we talking about the same Madalena?” Richard: “Yes!” Galavant: “But you were married. You didn’t insist?” Richard: “I’m not an animal. I mean sure, I’ll kidnap a woman and force her to marry me, but after that, I'm all about a woman’s rights. I’m a modern 13th century man.”
2. Gareth: “I might be a dog. At least I’m a loyal one, love. Now I serve the King so I only follow his orders.” Richard: “That is so nice to hear. You have always been my most loyal friend, Gareth. I know you’re not a hugger but if you were, I would wrap myself around you like a leather jacket made of love.” Gareth: “Hmm, Xanax?” Chef: “So much Xanax.”
3. Galavant, to Sid: “Look, I’ll play any part you want me to play here, but you should be proud of the man you are. I know I certainly am.” Isabella: “What was that?” Galavant: “That, my lady, was a knight getting off his high horse.”
4. Isabella: “Well, how’s that for timing. Our stars are finally aligning on the same day I’m gonna die.” Galavant, pointing around: “No, you’re not gonna die today. And you’re not gonna die today. And you’re not gonna die today. You...might already be dead.”

Overview: If you are looking for a fun and quick binge to chase away the isolation doldrums, look no further. The clever lyrics, archetypes, and fast plot make this a binger’s dream. More importantly, there are characters that become a piece of you and watching them develop is fascinating. Characters you think you are supposed to hate become sympathetic and soon you find yourself cheering for them. Even the villains get their fun songs. Galavant is unlike anything else you’ll watch and it deserves a chance to get you singing along too. “Way back in days of old….”

Show: Battle Creek
Episodes: 1.01 - 1.08
Type: Under the radar
Addiction Rating: 2 = I don’t think I will finish the rewatch.

Summary: A gruff, disgruntled, and underappreciated police detective gets paired with a handsome, positive, and charming FBI agent begrudgingly and chaos, quips, and criminal catching ensue. Think the Odd Couple in a cop show.
Best Reason to Watch: The tongue-in-cheek humor goes from outright bizarre to split a gut funny, often in the same scene.
Best Character: Milt - One of the first things I noticed in this show was how the character of Milt broke all stereotypes. You would expect this handsome charmer of a character to be the complete jerk of the pair, but instead, he is the sympathetic, sweet one.

Best Episode: It comes down to 3 episodes: Old Flames (1.05), Mama’s Boy (1.07), and Old Wounds (1.08). Mama’s Boy is all about Candace Bergen guest starring as Russ’ mom in a delightfully wacky role. For comedy, that is the winner. However, I like heart with my comedy and the biggest heart comes from the troubled relationship between Commander Guziewicz and her son. Both Old Flames and Old Wounds are focused around that.

Old Flames has the best quote of the entire series, but in the end, it’s the stab at peace and honesty at the end of Old Wounds that grabs me most. In it, the Commander finally shares her childhood demons with her drug addict son, and it bridges part of the gap between them. They aren’t perfect but they can be there for each other.

Worst Episode: Technically, it’s Heirlooms (1.04) because the plot was paper thin, the killers were annoying, and every part of it was predictable. However, the real worst is whenever Russ acts like a child because he doesn’t feel appreciated enough. I’ve seen kindergarteners more grown up.

Highlights:
Best Character Interaction - Guziewicz and her son
Worst Character - Russ, by an eternity
Best Secondary Character - Teddy the CI
Best Cold Open - the detectives trying to do a sting with no resources
Best Twist - the criminal broke out of jail to attend his niece’s wedding
Biggest Laugh - maple syrup mafia
Best Guest Star - Candace Bergen
Best Quotes -
1. Guz to Danny: “I didn’t want to see you again until you were clean. I didn’t know how to help you, and it was a copout. Maybe I’m...maybe I give up on people too often. Maybe I’m screwed up like that, but I’m not giving up on you. I’m gonna keep coming by, every day. Just to...see how you’re doing. Let you know that somebody cares. See you tomorrow.”
2. Guziewicz: “I remember thinking, ‘This is insane. A drunk and a baby? A drunk cop and a baby? But after that...there have been so many times on this job when I have been tempted to pick up a bottle, but I never have because I always had you to get home to. You saved me and I would really like to return the favor.”
3. Danny, about his mom: “I wouldn’t do this. I don’t care about her. I don’t think about her. I’m just trying to live my life.” Russ: “Uh huh. I know you’re lying, Danny, because I’ve got a mom who’s not half as decent as yours, but I still care about what she thinks.”
4. Russ: "You got a credit card receipt?" Butcher: "Nope, I prefer not to support the loan sharking industry."
5. Guz: "So you want to arrest someone for NOT selling drugs." Fontanelle: "Yes, prescription drugs. This is no different than if somebody needed heart medication and the pharmacist gave then sugar pills or if…uh, a diabetic was given water instead of insulin." Guz: "Yep, I get it. You need your pot."


Overview: It’s funny how opinions can change. I was on Netflix when I saw Battle Creek and I thought this would be a great time to plug a little known gem. However, I didn’t like it as much this time around. Some things are still great, especially the quirky humor. I still love how they play with stereotypes, making Milt a stand-up guy. The secondary characters are also fantastic. In fact, I think I liked Guziewicz more this time around. Her troubled relationship with her son seemed more poignant and heart touching in the rewatch. So why was this less enjoyable the second time around? I think it was 2 things. First, I was no longer interested in the central mystery of why Milt was in Battle Creek. That, added to the Holly and Russ relationship nonsense, meant that much of the hour bored me. Mostly though, I could not stand Russ. In the original watch, I found him annoying but occasionally funny. This time it was all I could do not to fast forward through his whining and general distrust. I still think many people would like this show if they tried it, but I am sorry I rewatched it. I had forgotten the parts that made me cringe and remembered what I loved. Not so much anymore.

Note: The guy who plays Russ is currently the Mayhem guy in the Allstate commercials, which made for some delightfully distracting moments in the rewatch.

Show: 11/22/63
Episodes: 1.06 - 1.08 (rest of the show)
Type: continuation
Rating: 5 = You really should binge it. It’s well worth your time.

Summary: Jake continues in his mission to stop Lee Harvey Oswald from killing President Kennedy.
Best Reason to Watch: There are a lot of reasons to watch this show. It’s short and generally well-paced with great characters. I enjoyed it throughout. However, what really stood out was the ending. It’s not all sunshine and roses, but it is immensely satisfying. Sometimes a show leaves behind so many questions and a bad ending can ruin a whole series. This felt complete and hopeful. In fact, I’ll give this ending the best compliment of all. Finishing this series felt like finishing a good book, one where you’ve journeyed a lifetime with the characters and are the better for it.
Best Character: Sadie - I really liked Sadie in the first batch of episodes I watched, but she gets so much better in the last three. Having gone through what she did with her ex, no one would blame her for wallowing, but she picked herself up and became the stronger for her adversity. It gives her strength to help Jake through his later trials.

Best Episode: It’s easy to pick the worst of the trio but not so easy to choose the best. The finale was predictable but so rewarding. Episode 6 brought me back into the world-building and had a great Bill storyline. The finale (The Day in Question) gets the nod because I really, really loved the last 10 minutes, which more than make up for the overall predictability. Plus, he made the right decision, as tough as it was.

Worst Episode: Soldier Boy (1.07) - If I were not binging the show, I might have found this episode frustrating. The constant countdown to the assassination increased my impatience, since there was no forward movement and time was running out. I did love the interactions between Sadie and Deke and then Sadie and Jake though.

Highlights:
Least Surprising - the world is not better after changing history
Best Character Interaction - Sadie and Jake
Best Supporting Character - Deke
Best Storyline - Bill’s because it opened up so many questions on the morality of things
Best Quotes-
1. Sadie: “I can deal with a lot of things, Jake, but I can’t abide a liar.” Jake: “Alright, I was lying. Yes, I was leaving but it was for your own good.” Sadie: “If I hear that from a man one more time, I’m gonna punch his teeth in.”
2. Sadie: “We did not ask for this room or this music, but because we are here, let us dance.”
3. Bill: “People don't’ come from the future. That’s all in comic books. I put all that away now. Healthy people don’t talk about things like that.” Jake: “You’re right, but a really bad thing is gonna happen and I want to stop it, and you’re the only person in the entire world who can help me. Just be my partner. You’re my friend, Bill.” Bill to Jake: “If I was your friend, why did you do this to me?”
4. Deke: “A man who’s lost his purpose is a man who’s scared to death.”

Overview: This show straddles my comfort zone. On one hand, it has all that great history. On the other, it’s time travel, which I tend to not like. It’s definitely a streaming show, which means it has a ton of unnecessary cursing but it wasn’t a continual stream of gratuitous violence and nudity like I feared. It does have a lot of violence and some of it’s super gory, but it didn’t go overboard as a whole, especially in these last 3 episodes. At its heart, 11.22.63 is equal parts romance, mystery, and action adventure and that is its strength. With only 8 episodes and 3 years to span, the show doesn’t stay still for long and yet it still allows its characters to breathe and grow. Very few subplots were dropped but few felt rushed either. In the end, I felt like I knew these characters and even though I was with them for such a short time, they made me care and they made an impact. Not bad for a little over 7 hours of time.

Reader Reviews:

Ivan:
Show: Travelers
Episodes: all 34
Best Reason to Watch - The characters and the dilemma they go through morally. Best Character - Marcy Warton, her arc during the series is one of the best I've seen.
Best Episode - Marcy (1.11), this episode is definitely the show's best. It shows us the consequences of the travelers living in the 21st Century and getting attached from Marcy's perspective, and MacKenzie Porter's performance is one to witness.
Worst Episode - Hall (1.04), this episode introduced one of my most hated storylines in a show, adultery, so just for that it's the worst episode of the series.
Overview - There are a lot of time travel shows out there, past and present, but Travelers really changed the formula on time travel. It's less about time travel and more about people and that's to be appreciated. They don't travel through time; they stay in the present and we see how they're affected by the lives they have to live and the choices they have to make, very gray choices. The characters themselves are very gray.

LauraLoo77:
Show: 9-1-1: Lone Star
Episodes: 1.01 - 1.10
Best Reason to Watch - The characters! The acting may not always land, and the dialogue may be cringey at times, but the characters themselves are pretty interesting.
Best Character - TK, by far. Ronen is killing it in this role.
Best Episode - Awakening (1.09) - The more grating characters to me took a backseat and TK really got to shine in this one.
Worst Episode - Bum Steer (1.07) - The fight with Owen and Billy was contrived and the cases in this one were kind of annoying.
Overview - I definitely recommend watching this show. It walks a fine line between "so bad it's good/guilty pleasure/popcorn entertainment/turn your brain off and just enjoy" television and "this genuinely has potential to be amazing". As all episodes have just finished airing, now is an excellent time to binge this show. The characters are solid and there's a good foundation for the future. Also, TK is amazing -- seriously.

Your Turn:

If you would like to share your thoughts on what you’re binging, comment below or fill out this form. I will randomly choose 2-3 to share in next month’s column. Please make sure that you have watched 5 or more episodes and that it is not the current season of a show covered by SpoilerTV.

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

Quote of the Week - Week of March 29

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.

Almost Paradise -
1. Alex: “This drug war has gone on longer than World War I, II, Vietnam, both Iraq and Afghanistan combined. Are there fewer drugs out there, huh? Are there fewer people addicted?” Kai: “You need to calm down.” Alex: “And what about us, huh? What about the guys on the front line? They don’t throw parades for veterans of the drug war, lady. There’s no celebration. We’re just casualties of this war.”
2. Alex: “Jimmy, you gotta learn to reset your default settings from ‘kill everybody immediately’ to ‘take a deep breath.’ Think it through, man. Either I am on your side, in which case I’m the only shot you’ve got of getting out of here, or I am a DEA agent and by shooting me, it destroys any chance you’ve got of cutting a deal with these guys that you know you’re gonna be offered. But either way, get that freaking gun out of my face.”
3. Alex, after refusing to take his heart pills because of side effects: “I know, ticking time bomb.” Doctor: “No, there’s no ticking. Just boom. Heart failure, and trust me, that’s worse than penis failure.”

American Housewife -
1. Katie: “Oliver is taller than me. I like to look down at him when I'm yelling. ‘Because I said so!’ doesn't have the same impact when I'm staring up in his nostrils.” (Folie-lex)
2. Oliver: “I've outgrown you woman. Deal with it.” Katie: “Go pick up Luther's poop in the front yard.” Oliver: “Are you punishing me for being taller than you?” Katie: “Yes, I am. And now I'm punishing you for pointing out how ridiculous that is.” (Folie-lex)
3. Taylor: “That is SO unfair.” Katie: “Well you should have thought about that before you let your brother get taller than me.” Taylor: “You're insane!” Katie: “I'm a mother of three! Of course I'm insane!” (Folie-lex)
4. Oliver: “We actually look worse than the house, which I didn't think was possible.” (Folie-lex)
5. Taylor: “Think of something!” Oliver: “YOU think of something...!! Oh wait. I'll think of something.” (Folie-lex)

Broke -
1. Jackie: “But I mean you grew up here. You know it's not exactly the Four Seasons. If you see something on your pillow it's not a mint. Kill it!” (Folie-lex)
2. Jackie: “You guys are unbelievable!” Javier: “I think you're unbelievable too!” Jackie: “What?!” Javier: “Truly! To hold down two jobs while raising a great kid like Sammy by yourself? Incredible!” Jackie: “Stop being charming when I'm angry!” (Folie-lex)

Brooklyn 99 -
1. Holt: “Last month they performed Sousa at a fallen officer's funeral, and the people were so appalled, they cried.” Charles: “Or they were crying for the deceased?” Holt: “No, she was very unpopular. The band made them cry.” (Folie-lex)
2. Walter: “Are you still watching those cartoons about the karate lizards?” Jake: “The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? I am. There was recently a reboot. They did some interesting things with Splinter and Krang's backstories. Anyways, I'm an adult now. How are you?” (Folie-lex)
3. Roger: “What the hell is my father doing here?” Jake: “You said you wanted to reconcile.” Roger: “I meant after he was dead. I planned on standing over his grave and yelling ‘I forgive you.’ “ (Folie-lex)
4. Terry: “I can handle criticism. My daughters criticise me all the time. They are so mean now.” (Folie-lex)
5. Jake: “All we have to do is clean every inch of this room and then bake a gourmet cake.” Roger: “No one can do all that in two hours.” Jake: “Wrong, Dad. There is one who can.” Charles: “Hello fellas. Let's get to work.” (Folie-lex)



FBI -
1. Jubal: “Young love.” Castille: “More like dumb love.” Hailey: “What’s the difference?”

FBI: Most Wanted -
1. Jess: “There’s nothing more precious than watching your child grow up.”
2. Zhu: “I love him more than anything, but I chose this country for me, for our son. I couldn’t turn my back on it.”
3. Sheryll: “By the way, you never told us what your exit plan was.” Jess: “Yeah, I had a plan once. Then I lost Angelyne. I made a new plan, safe and predictable, and then a drug dealer put a slug in my chest. I don’t know. I don’t know about any plans. Tali made a video about her experience in the detention center. She posted it. Some of the reactions made my hair stand on end. I thought, ‘Take it down. Don’t put yourself out there,’ but I don’t know. Maybe Tali’s right. Maybe it’s about putting yourself out there, you know. Doing the best you can, just taking it one day at a time.”

God Friended Me -
1. Tammy: “Grace loved you in her own way, but there was nothing more important to her than her career.” Kylie: “So she abandoned me?” Tammy: “She asked me to take you and I did. I adopted you the moment we got home from the hospital, and it was the best decision of my life. And even if you don’t want me as your mother, you will never stop being my daughter. We can work this out.”
2. Kylie: “Look, I know you’re scared of me following in Grace’s footsteps, but I’m not.” Tammy: “How can you be so sure?” Kylie: “Because I don’t take after Grace. I take after my mom.”
3. Miles: “Look. Just because Tammy didn’t give birth to you, doesn’t mean she’s not your mom. She has been there for you every day of your life.” Kylie: “She also lied to me every day of my life. Just because she had a good reason doesn’t make it okay.” Miles: “No, it makes her human.”

Hawaii 5-0 -
1. Danny: “Imma just say this one more time: This is Hawaii. There's beautiful beaches all over the place. Plenty of sand. You can clear your head here, it's a beautiful place. You know what I mean?” Steve: “Who are you man? Ten years ago you came out here, you hated this place.” Danny: “I don't know man. I blame you. I blame you for a lot of things.” (Folie-lex)
2. Steve: “Hey! I love you man.” Danny: “Love you too. Don't make me come looking for ya.” ~~~I'm not caught up with the show, but I watched this scene because reasons and honestly, that's all I needed from their last few moments together. (Folie-lex) ~~~I, too, am not caught up with the show, but this was perfect. It seems odd that in the end it is Danny who stays and Steve who goes. The only thing I would have changed would be to have the rest of the ohana say goodbye first and have Steve and Danny's scene after. (Dahne)
3. Catherine: “Is this seat taken?” Steve: “Catherine.” Catherine: “Hey, sailor.” Steve: “That was you? You cracked the cipher?” Catherine: “Mmm hmm. Lincoln got a hold of me. Said you guys needed some help, so yeah.” Steve: “He’s a good man.” Catherine: “Well, he must be. I mean you gave him the keys to Danno’s car.” Steve: “Well, I mean, we can’t have Danny Williams driving his own car.” Catherine: “Like he ever did.” ~~I literally squealed when Catherine came back on my TV screen. She was my favorite character and I am glad she got a cameo. I love that just like in the beginning, Catherine was there with the info that Steve needed. Whether romantic or not, they were a partnership that stood as equals, both helping however they were needed. I’m glad the show honored that. (Dahne)
4. Danny: “So now what? Are you gonna walk the earth like the dude in Kung Fu, searching for answers? What are you gonna do?” Steve: “Something like that. It’s gonna be okay, man. You know that, right?” Danny: “You know, it doesn’t feel like it’s gonna be okay. It feels like my main dude is leaving me. That’s what’s happening.” Steve: “It’s not goodbye forever.” Danny: “It better not be a forever goodbye. Why would you say that?” Steve: “You got a phone, right?” (Epic, season finale hug!!!) ~~While I liked the “I love you man” part, I liked the build up even more. They always had each others’ backs and this just felt so right. It will never be goodbye. Not for this epic partnership. (Dahne)




Home Before Dark -
1. “Because crime doesn’t care if it’s third period.” (Alison)

MacGyver -
1. Mason, about Gwen’s crazy rantings: “This is the TED talk from hell.”
2. Mac: “No, I don’t believe you. I don’t believe that my mother would want this many people to die.” Gwen: “Nobody wants people to die. I don’t want people to die.” Mac: “Then stop trying to kill them.”
3. Mac: “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about the cancer.” Dad: “I just did.” Mac: “That was the absolute worst timing.” Dad: “Is there a good time for cancer?”

Man with a Plan -
1. Lowell: “Is she okay?” Adam: “Yeah, she's just feeling a little tired and headachy.” Don: “Sounds like she's got a case of the wifes.” (Folie-lex)
2. Andy: “I mean THAT pill lets us have fun without consequences. We can't afford to put another consequence through college!” (Folie-lex)
3. Adam: “But I don't want to schedule it. Being able to do it whenever I want is the whole reason I got married...! Besides all the love... but that got me in the door.” (Folie-lex)
4. Adam: “We don't want to admit the possibility that we could be less of a man. You don't think I'm curious about the mango margarita? It looks delicious, but I will never order one!” Andy: “Whoa... That is some deep, ancient boy stuff.” Adam: “We think things. We don't tell you ALL the things, but we think them.” (Folie-lex)

NCIS: LA -
1. Nell: “I don’t usually drink this early.’ Hetty: “No, neither did I when I first started in this business.”
2. Kensi to Fatima: “So if you ever feel like this job is getting a little rough and you need to talk to someone, just know that I’m here.” Fatima: “Thanks. The same goes for me. Hetty’s Angels got to stick together, right?”
3. Roundtree: “My SAC, she said I was supposed to report to a Henrietta Lange. Does she work with you?” Namazi: “I’d say it’s more like we work for Hetty.” Roundtree: “Hetty?” Namazi: “Imagine Anna Wintour meets Mata Hari with a touch of Yoda and Chuck Norris.”

NCIS: NOLA -
1. Gregorio: “I’m just saying you get a little enthusiastic when it comes to competition.” Hannah: “Enthusiasm’s good.” Gregorio: “Um uh, did I say enthusiastic? I actually meant frightening.”
2. Ryan: “Divorce papers.” Hannah: “I signed them.” Ryan: “Why now?” Hannah: “Just been stuck. I felt like it was time to do something and take control in my life where I can. Plus Veronica...she’s great and I can see that now.” Ryan: “Yes, we’re very happy.” Hannah: “So is Naomi. I guess I just needed to see that you were gonna be okay.” Ryan: “You’re gonna be okay too. So...uh, so this is it. You know...you know I’ll always love you.” Hannah: “Me too.”
3. Gregorio to the new guy, Carter: “You know, people make really good money dumpster diving, just in case this whole NCIS thing doesn’t work out.”

One Day at a Time -
1. Lydia: “Has [Alex] said he loves you? No?! Aw... he has said it to me.” Penny: “Ok. Elena is gay, Alex is a catch, and you are making everyone uncomfortable!” (Folie-lex)
2. Elena: “I have a few questions about the almond crusted salmon salad. How is the salmon raised?” Penny: “It's raised in price after 6 o'clock!” (Folie-lex)
3. Penny: “Okay you know what? I want to speak to the manager.” Bryce: “I am the manager.” Penny: “Oh really?” Bryce: “Hmmhm.” Penny: “The server is the manager?” Bryce: “Yup.” Penny: “Oh really?! Do you think it's my first time complaining in a restaurant?” Bryce: “I definitely do not.” (Folie-lex)
4. Alex: “I can't believe you embarrassed me in front of Nora like that. For 13 dollars and a brownie that the waiter definitely spit on.” Penny: “So what? You want to impress her by making her think you're some big shot that doesn't care about money.” Alex: “No, I want to impress her by making her think I don't have a crazy mother.” Elena: “Oh. And now you're just not being realistic.” Lydia: “If Nora breaks up with us over this, I will never forgive you!” (Folie-lex)
5. Penny: “Oh, so I should act like you? ‘Hi I'm Schneider. I wipe my butt with a 100 dollar bill.’ “ Schneider: “That is a hurtful rich person stereotype. I have a custom marble bidet!” Penny: “Well can you use it on your mouth 'cause there's a lot of crap coming out of there!” (Folie-lex)
6. Elena: “God, it’s so easy being straight.” (Jamie)
7. Penelope: “It’s only money.” Everyone else in the room: “What?!” Schneider: “Yes! I did this!” (Jamie)

Outlander -
1. Jamie: “There shall come a day when you and I will part again, but it willna be today.” (Naomi)
2. Murtagh: “Dinna be afraid, (speaks a Gaelic name) it doesn't hurt a bit to die.” (Naomi)

Prodigal Son -
1. Edrisa: “Oooh, that sounds like a spy novel.” Malcolm: "Welcome to 2020. Can’t rule anything out.”
2. Gil: “Hey, Fiona. Be good.” Fiona: “It’s hard to be good when you’re so much better than everyone else.”
3. Martin, to Eve: “Well, don’t be shy. I know meeting the parents can be a bit intimidating, but trust me, I’m a pussycat compared to his mother.”

Roswell, New Mexico -
1. Liz: “Hey, uh, forgive my bluntness. Just, you know, considering the circumstances. How are you here?” Cameron: “Oh, you didn’t order a blonde?” (Jamie)
2. Rosa: “I reserve the right to be the mentally ill one in this friendship. It’s kind of my thing.” Maria: “What the hell is going on?” Rosa: “Don’t really know how to lie about that so… Do you believe in aliens?” (Jamie)
3. Isobel: “You know, the irony is, I’m not alone. For the first time, I am just like all the other girls. Did you know that our city council just passed a resolution banning clinics? They call Roswell the last sanctuary city for the unborn. Just the unborn. We don’t have a women’s shelter.” (Jamie)
4. Liz: “I fell for him after I knew the truth. It’s like you said, we’re different kinds of smart. Maybe we’re different kinds of dumb, too.” (Jamie)

Schitt’s Creek -
1. David: “I don't see any breakfast.” Johnny: “Mimosas. We're celebrating. Ruth sent over a bottle of champagne.” David: “So there's no food then.” (Folie-lex)
2. Twyla: “Alexis, between us: I don't do this job for the money.” Alexis: “Well if you don't do this for money I'm scared to know what you do do for money.” (Folie-lex)
3. Alexis: “But as someone who's had a lot of money, and then not had it and now is like still pretty poor but somewhat okay, every now and again spending like a little bit of money on something really special, it might not buy you happiness, but it can definitely help make you smile.” (Folie-lex)
4. Moira, as the Jazzagals go in for a group hug: “ Oh no! No, lets not turn this into a Hallmark movie of the week. I've done enough of those in my lifetime... Oh, maybe just a quick one!” (Folie-lex)
5. David: “I was just thinking about how Patrick must have driven out here, and knocked on that door and asked those people to call him if they ever planned on selling, just because I said it was nice. Who does that?” Stevie: “Good people. Good people do things like that. Hence the reason why we don't understand it.” (Folie-lex)

Schooled -
1. Mellor: “I’m not kidnapping you. Kidnapping is taking a kid away from a parent. I’m returning a kid to a parent so I’m un-napping you or possibly de-napping you.”
2. Lainey: “She’s not supposed to be their mom, Rick. She’s supposed to be my mom.” Rick: “I understand. Sometimes…” Mom: “Hey, what’s going on?” Lainey: “What’s going on? What's going on is that you’ve been sober for 5 years and didn’t even think to reach out to me. Do you know where I was 5 years ago? I was broke and in Hollywood. I had no clue what to do with my life and I really could have used a mom. Why didn’t you reach out to me after you got clean? I mean...5 years.” Mom: “I came close, so many times. Right before I got my last 5 year chip, which I didn’t get because I fell off again hard. And when I got sober, I didn’t know how long it would last. I still don’t know.” Lainey: “So we’re just not supposed to have a relationship because of something that might happen.” Mom: “I thought if there was any chance that I could hurt you again, I just couldn’t do it.” Lainey: “What if it’s what I want? Don’t I get a say in something like this.”
3. Wilma: “Caroline, just because you’re the smartest kid in the room doesn’t mean you know everything. Life is a group project and you’ll find that other people have good ideas too. That’s a lesson I’m still learning myself.” Caroline: “I hear you.” Wilma: “I missed out on a whole bunch of chips and boat rides.” Caroline: “I get that less.”

Superstore -
1. Dina: “Is there a health inspection or something? Your makeup looks nice.” Amy: “Oh! No... just a lunch.” Dina: “Oh good. Your blouse is decent too and I didn't know what the hell was going on.” Amy: “Well Jonah's parents and brother are in town so we're having lunch with them. Thank you for the almost compliment. My nerves feel soothed.” (Folie-lex)
2. Glenn: “Which brother is Josh again? I can't keep track of them all.” Jonah: “I only have two.” Glenn: “Really? Feels like you grew up talking over a large group.” (Folie-lex)
3. Richard: “We didn't actually get a chance to read it yet. Our printer is out of cartridges.” Jonah: “Ah!” Amy: “But you have a screen?” Jonah: “Nah, it's a whole thing... don't... bother…” (Folie-lex)
4. Dina: “I know romance Glenn, okay? I've seen You've Got Mail... Forty minutes of it, I was getting my tires rotated.” (Folie-lex)
5. Garrett: “Guys! Seriously, no games. Amy's gone, so it's up to us to be responsible employees, I'm kidding. Obviously we're gonna make this a game.” (Folie-lex)

Young Sheldon:
1. Tam: “Sheldon's gonna be late.” Mr.Gibbons: “Well, alright!” Tam: “It's a police ma…” Mr.Gibbons: “Don't care.” (Folie-lex and Dahne)
2. Sheldon: “Georgie, you make as much money as Dad. Why don't you buy it?” George: “He does not make as much money as me.” Georgie: “No. But I don't have to spend mine on stupid stuff like food and kids.” (Folie-lex)
3. Sheldon: “You don't have to worry about your boss. There's a district rule that says that Principal Peterson can not live next door to me.” Missy: “That sounds made up.” Sheldon: “A principal who tells lies... What are we gonna do with this one?” (Folie-lex)
4. Missy, right after Marcus held her hand: “HE HELD MY HAND!” Meemaw: “High five!” Missy: “DON'T TOUCH IT!” (Folie-lex)
5. Mary: “It might be nice. It might be a family with kids your age.” Sheldon: “I already live with a kid my age. Not a fan.” (Dahne)
6. Mary: “Lord, I am trying my best. Please help me with this situation. Amen. (Sees pillow that says, “Love your neighbor.”) I meant fix him, not me.” (Dahne)

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist -
1. Zoey: “I feel horrible telling you this but I didn’t want to come here tonight. After the doctor, things just got...real. And I don’t know why, but my instinct was to run away from you. Which I guess makes me the worst daughter in the world because what kind of kid is scared to be with her dying dad?” (Then she starts singing, How Do I Live? By LeAnn Rimes.) ~~This whole scene gut punched me. I can’t imagine having to start saying goodbye to my dad. The emotions were so raw and her heartbroken confession followed by the perfect song for the occasion added to the perfection of the quote. The show has more than surpassed my expectations. (Dahne)
2. Zoey: “Seemed real sketchy. Leif is definitely up to something.” Max: “Are we talking like witchcraft or just shameless career advancement?” Zoey: “Either way, hooking up with Leif is like kissing a Slytherin.” (Dahne)
3. Joan to Zoey: “Can you schedule your nervous breakdown for another day?” (Dahne)
4. Joan: “Why are you smiling, huh? This is not a happy day! This is not a happy day where people smile, like your birthday or your wedding day. Not MY wedding day, but most people’s!” (Folie-lex)
5. Max: “You sang two heart songs today, Zoey. That’s what they’re called, right? And while one song told you that you want Simon to want you, the other one told you that I’m yours. One song is about attraction. The other one is about love. Personally, I would choose love but I guess you’re gonna make up your own mind.” (Folie-lex)
6. Zoey: “Crisis averted.” Tobin: “Yeah, but it was my fault. I was the one who wrote that code, so maybe Leif is right and maybe I’m just a screwup who doesn’t take my job seriously.” Zoey: “Or we all make mistakes and you owned up to yours and spent all day working super hard trying to fix it and that doesn’t sound like a screw-up to me.” Tobin: “Alright, let’s go with your version.” (Folie-lex ~~and Dahne’s HM)

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."