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Monday, April 23, 2018
Quote of the Week - Week of April 15
A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
The Americans -
1. Oleg: “One thing I did learn here: they are not crazy. We can make peace with them. Now may be the best chance we can ever get. That's why I am here.” (DarkUFO)
2. Elizabeth: “He loves me, he loves you, but somewhere...something got lost. This work can get to be too much for people. Even the best ones. I'm so proud of you, Paige. Really proud.” (DarkUFO)
Bull -
1. Bull: “Helping this woman will not change the fact that I did nothing to help my own sister.” Marissa: “It’s true. You failed at being God. You are responsible for everyone and everything.” Bull: “Just indulge me. Let me wallow in my own self-pity.” Marissa: “You know what, Jason? Your sister was an adult. She made her own decisions, her own choices about who to be with, and nothing you could have done would have changed that. You loved her and that is really your only obligation as a brother. As for our client, you can only do what you can do. She’s giving you very little to work with. Get some sleep. Tomorrow is gonna come whether we’re ready for it or not.”
2. Bull: “This thing’s gonna go one of two ways. Either it’s all been one big, bad dream and you’re about to become a free woman, in which case I’m gonna take you for a walk because walking is very good for pregnant women. You know, my sister taught me that. Or...if for some reason things don’t...go our way in there...well, you’re not rid of me ‘cause we’re just gonna appeal the living daylights out of this thing. I mean you are gonna be so sick of me.” Kate: “Not possible.” Bull: “You’ll see. I’m very unusual. I’m actually an acquired dislike.”
3. Benny: “Like I said, I’m your guy, but I need you to know that I don’t have a lot to work with and I just don’t want to let you down.”
Criminal Minds -
1. JJ: “Your rational is telling you that and that part’s right. I also know there is a part of you that you don’t show anyone, and that part of you is trying to figure out why did Spencer Reid get out of his prison. You know, when Quinn didn’t. The answer is family, this family, how we fought to get you out of there. The same way we fought to save Prentiss from Mr. Scratch. We fought to save this team from getting shut down. And now, family will help us figure out what we’re missing.”
2. Tara: “Typical cult. You know you think it’s a cast of thousands, when really it’s just 4 wackos sitting around in the dark.”
3. Garcia: “He bought a warehouse on the edge of the district. Not the kind of place I’d go to church, but ideal if human sacrifice is your thing.”
Fear the Walking Dead -
1. Morgan: “I lose people, and then I lose myself.” (Eve)
The Flash -
1. Iris West-Allen: “I remember you asking me what I was willing to do for my husband. How about I show you?”
For the People -
1. Roger Gunn: “People get hurt in these operations. Maybe we could send Seth…” (Luana)
2. Arturo: “It doesn't make sense! 165M/H winds don't make sense. Burying your child doesn't make sense. What happened to my country, to my family, to me, doesn't make sense. It won't. It can't. I know you want this to be all simple and clear, but it isn't. That's not the world I live in. It's ugly and messy and full of terrible choices, and I made some that I wish you could understand, but just looking at you I can tell you can't.” (Luana)
iZombie -
1. Ravi: “Let’s ease into the splattered brain talk next time.” Clive: “Oh, is that where we went wrong? I thought it was when their Scandinavian He-Men boyfriends showed up.”
2. Chase: “Major is the new vice-president of getting stuff done, which means he outranks any of you because...well, he gets stuff done.”
3. Peyton: “You hate warm weather and This Is Us.” Clive: “Yeah, it’s emotionally manipulative. Fine, I’ll go. You’re emotionally manipulative.”
LA to Vegas -
1. Ronnie: “I’m just trying to put my best foot forward.” Bernard: “Honey I get it, but this ain’t your foot. A linguine tour? That’s not you. I mean, look, this whole list is written on an old Taco Bell receipt. A 10:00 am Taco Bell receipt.” Ronnie: “They serve breakfast now, Bernard.”
2. Artem: “You can’t spell party without Arty.”
3. Ronnie: “Jackpot’s official position is ‘You do you. We’ve seen worse.’ “
Lethal Weapon -
1. Judge: “So by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may escort the bride to booking.”
2. Riggs: “Look Molly, Jake’s got himself in some real trouble. You just need to prepare yourself that it’s not gonna end well.” Molly: “Well you just make sure that it ends well for you, okay? Cause as I said I plan on being able to be mad at you for a long time. Months, years.” Riggs: “You may never get over it.” Molly: “I hope not.”
3. Avery: “Roger Murtaugh, in the 20+ years that I’ve known you, the happiest I have ever seen you were the days your children were born.” Roger: “Really?” Avery: “Don’t you think the world will be a better place with another little Murtaugh running around?” Roger: “We do have good genes.”
Living Biblically -
1. Chip: “I’m trying to do the biblical thing by showing my friend hospitality but…” Leslie: “...but I haven’t had privacy for days and frankly Mama likes to air dry. Is that a weird thing to tell a priest?” Gene: “That’s a weird thing to tell anybody.”
2. Vince: “Speaking of One Direction, why don’t you mosey off that way.”
3. Chip: “Come on, you know Jesus would have let Gil stay with him.” Leslie: “Yeah, because there was no Mrs. Jesus to tell him it was a bad idea.”
The Terror -
1. Dr. Stanley: “Fine. Go with the girl. And don't forget to invite us all to the wedding.” Dr. Goodsir: “Has anyone ever invited you to a wedding, Dr. Stanley?” (DarkUFO)
2. Francis: “I'll put a bullet in my head before I drink gin.” (DarkUFO)
3. Francis: “I hope you live long enough to sell your dictionary, Dr. Goodsir. I hope I live long enough to buy it.” (DarkUFO)
Timeless -
1. JKF, after being told that he will be President someday: “President of what?” Lucy: “Of the United States.” JFK: “Was I a good President?” Lucy: “One of the greatest!” (Claire)
2. Agent Christopher to Lucy: "If you were my daughter, I'd be so proud." (Bex)
3. Wyatt: "I’ll see you round the bunker, babydoll." Lucy: "See you round the bunker, sweetheart." (Bex)
3. Jessica: "This time travel stuff really messes with your head." (Bex)
UnREAL -
1. Chet: “You crossed a line.” Quinn: “Suddenly there’s a line?” (Eve)
The Walking Dead -
1. Rick: “Have mercy prevail over my wrath.” (DarkUFO)
2. Rick: “We're not gonna kill you, we're not gonna hurt you. You're gonna rot in a cell.” (DarkUFO)
3. Negan: “We are cleaning house today, Rick!” (DarkUFO)
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
Quote of the Week - Week of April 1
A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
The Americans -
1. Stan: “I can't tell you how much better I feel just dealing with murderers, drug dealers, and corrupt politicians. I'm serious.” (DarkUFO)
2. Claudia: “What does she draw?” Elizabeth: “People, faces, I don't know. Kind of strange.” Claudia: “You don't like her work?” Elizabeth: “I don't know why people like her spend their life doing that. At least her husband is doing something.” (DarkUFO)
Black Lightning -
1. Henderson: "Do you trust me?" Lynn: "No. But I know Jefferson does. Now, I have to go set the record for speed interviewing defense lawyers." (Prpleight)
Black-ish:
1. Diane: “Since when do people like mediocre content?” (Marine)
The Blacklist -
1. Samar: “It means that you’ll have to plead guilty to everything. Agree to counseling and the need for rehabilitation. But it also means that you will not be going to an adult prison. If you do the time and stay out of trouble, you could be out by the time you’re 21.” Anna: “21? How? Why would they do this for me?” Samar: “Because for the first time in a long time, someone is going to treat you like what you are - a child.”
2. Red: “To make a hate crime look like a robbery. Now I have indigestion.”
3. Howard: “Press them for details on this guardian angel.” Samar: “We could or we could forget we ever heard of her. Is it so wrong what she’s doing? These are adult men marrying children.” Howard: “It’s murder. That’s all our job description allows us to consider.”
Brooklyn 99 -
1. Holt: “Now is not the time for stories about your digital squash, Perrolta!” (Marine)
Bull -
1. Bull: “You know, I think those two have a future together.” Benny: “Wait a second. Are those tears? You crying, you big old softie?” Bull: “Excuse me. I believe you’re mistaken. These are not tears. Wasn’t it Tom Hanks who famously said, ‘There’s no tears in trial science?’ “ Benny: “No, I believe he was talking about chocolate.”
2. Benny: “Well I can’t speak for you, but Dr. Bull and I are here to talk about dismissal.” Peluso:” Dismissal? Well it’s good to have a dream.”
3. Bull: “Well what’d you get?” Danny: “The motherlode, pretty much. Although I think I did promise to marry the guy who got them for me.” Bull: “Excellent. Who doesn’t love a good wedding?”
Criminal Minds -
1. Matt: “I know you think this is about my fear of change but it’s actually about my commitment to the things that I trust.” Kristy: “Ah okay, you’re the profiler, sweetheart but I think it’s about a better phone.”
2. Kristy: “You’re using the phone.” Matt: “Of course. This is the phone that saved your life.” Kristy: “So you’re saying I was right.”
3. Tara: “You can’t intimidate a federal agent so let’s just stop with the games.”
Gotham -
1. Jervis Tetch: "Must Go! Must Go! They're after me and The Scarecrow!" (Jaz)
Instinct -
1. Dylan: “Espouses and eschewing in one sentence is just showing off.”
2. Lizzie: “Wow, some religions reject Satan. They reject high school.”
LA to Vegas -
1. Ronnie: “Oh man, the only thing worse than working for Jackpot is being fired from Jackpot. I mean, what do you even do after that?” Bernard: “You work for Greyhound.”
2. Alan: “What did I miss?” Bernard: “Just an opportunity to prove your life matters.” Alan: “Wow, my horoscope was dead on this morning.”
3. Bernard: “Don’t lie to me. You reek of citrus and deceit.”
Legends of Tomorrow -
1. Ava: “What are you doing?” Sara: “I’m admitting something that could save us both. I love you.” Ava: “There is no me to love.” (Donna)
2. Ray, as a young Barack Obama runs away from a giant gorilla: "Run, Barry, Run." (Sam)
3. Barack Obama: “Barack is what it says on my birth certificate.” Sara: "Yeah, you might want to hold on to that." (Sam)
MacGyver -
1. Jack: “I think the very definition of unlucky is being in a situation where the only way out of it is to recreate something you saw in a kid’s movie.”
2. Mac: “And you know what, Riley has a good point. Dawn is a professional liar.” Bozer: “Mac, literally everyone we know is a professional liar, you included.” Mac: “Alright, good point.”
3. Bozer: “This can’t be used as a weapon, can it?” Mac: “Not a good one.”
NCIS:LA -
1. Hetty: “Real bravery always starts in the heart.”
2. Sam: “You know there’s no way Hetty’ll let her fire you.” Callen: “She may lose that battle.” Sam: “Then we’ll both be out of a job.”
3. Sam: “Let me guess. She’s being elusive.” Callen: “Hetty and God work in mysterious ways.” Sam: “In Hetty, we trust.”
Roseanne -
1. Roseanne: “All our lives suck, that’s why we put marshmallows on yams.” (Marine)
The Walking Dead -
1. Rick: “Just tell me. Why'd you save me?” Morgan: “Because my son was there.” (DarkUFO)
2. Negan: “My wife's name was Lucille. She got me through. I didn't give her sh**, and she got me through. Just life...regular life. The bat, that got me through this. That's it, nothing more to do with me than that. But it is the last little piece of her that I got left.” (DarkUFO)
Will & Grace -
1. Karen, after kissing Malcolm via Smitty: “I think this is how Mike Pence and his wife do it ; through his personal trainer.” (Claire)
2. Grace: “I should be thanking you for inviting Master Sits and Farts to come and live with us!” (Shirleena)
About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."