A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
The Affair -
1. Alison: "Everyone assumes that life is a given, but you and I know that it's not. You and I both know that breath can end, so we know that life is a gift. You'll miss Dawn, but you'll keep her memory alive. You'll live now for both of you." (Darthlocke)
2. Helen: "I think people see what they want to see in other people." (Darthlocke)
3. Cole: "You guys gonna be OK?" Oscar: "What do you mean?" Cole: "Well, you just called your wife a c***." Oscar: "Yeah, because she makes me deeeeply miserable. But do you mean are we going to split? No, of course not. Jenny's like a, she's like a solid B+, and let's face it, I'm a C. So if she needs to call and yell at me and then hang up, well that's a small price to pay for a beautiful family, you know?" (Darthlocke)
Blackish -
1. Jack: "Mom just told Dad he needs therapy. It's the beginning of the end." Diane: "Mid-pregnancy divorce? Mom really painted herself into a corner with that one." (Bihnkrir)
The Blacklist -
1. Red: "I'd stand, but I still get aroused when I close a deal." (Geo)
2. Liz: "Mr. Reddington is my CI, which forces me to ignore his crimes, which will no doubt include murdering you if either of you ever tell anyone. On the other hand, I am under no obligation to ignore
your crimes. So before you commit any while I'm here, I suggest you all run along." (Dahne)
2. Emma: "When I said the job was hard, I meant working for Reddington." (Dahne)
3. Red: "So Maureen had a choice between remaining silent or doing the right thing. She chose to testify, and while she helped to bring Alexei Lagunov to justice, she also forfeited the rest of her life in doing so. She's on that list." Liz: "Who is she to you?" Red: "Maureen Rowan is Kate's sister-- uh, Mr. Kaplan's sister. I didn't need to find her. I just needed to...make sure no one else can." Liz: "This doesn't excuse what you've done." Red: "No. No, it doesn't." ~~~It was great to hear Red admit that he was wrong to "kill" Mr. Kaplan and gives me hope that this is not the last of her story. (Dahne)
4. Red: "If you wanted out Emma, you should have come to me." Emma: "I didn't think that was an option." (Dahne)
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend -
1. Darryl: "I wasn't eavesdropping, I was actually actively listening from afar." (Little Dreamer)
2. Rebecca: "Just got engaged." Nathaniel: "Is that why you look halfway decent? Cause usually you look like what librarians look in real life." (Marko)
Fresh Off the Boat -
1. Honey: "Who is that?" (Little Dreamer)
2. Jessica: "You're good, you get along with everybody, and you're always smiling. I don't want you to be more like me. I wanna be more like you." (Little Dreamer)
The Good Place -
1. Eleanor: “I was dropped into a cave and you were my flashlight.” (Nirat)
2. Eleanor: "Holy motherforking shirtballs." (Laurel)
3. Eleanor: "What the fork is a 'Chidi'?" (Laurel and Milo)
4. Michael: "Well, if it makes you feel any better, you were the closest to actually getting in up there. You weren't that close. Just closest." (Little Dreamer)
5. Jason: "I love you so much, baby. Promise me you'll visit?" Janet: "I will not. It is literally impossible for me do to that." (Little Dreamer)
6. Tahani: "We must remain emotionless. I'm talking Kristen Stewart on a red carpet level of emotionless." (DoGreer)
7. Tahani: "I'm going to miss these perks when I'm down in The Bad Place, being forced to wear knockoff handbags and drinking tap water!" Chidi: "That's what you think hell is?!" (DoGreer)
It's Always Sunny in Phildelphia -
1. Frank: "I smell chips! What are we watching?!" (Max)
2. Dennis: "The grunty one physically abuses the shrill one, and the shrill one psychologically abuses the grunty one. And it really plays!" (Max)
Lucifer -
1. Chloe: “Let’s go talk to your ‘friend’ Sharon; see if his alibi checks out.” Lucifer: “She is not my friend. She just a woman I—no actually that’s worse.” (Prpleight)
2. Suki: “You’re my perfect man. Like porn, and stuffed crust pizza and my Hello Kitty blanket all rolled into one.” (Prpleight)
Shadowhunters -
1. Jace: "Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee. For whither thou goest, I will go and where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people will be my people, thy God will be my God. When thou diest, I will die and there will I be buried. The Angel do so to me, and more also if aught but death part thee and me. Please don’t leave me, Alec." (Justyna)
Sherlock -
1. Mary: "There is a last refuge for the desperate, the unloved, the persecuted. There is a final court of appeal for everyone. When life gets too strange, too impossible, too frightening, there is always one last hope. When all else fails , there are two men sitting , arguing in a scruffy flat like they've always been there , and they always will. The best and the wisest men I have ever known. My Baker Street boys, Doctor Watson and Sherlock Holmes." ~Mary Watson leaves a last message for the boys via video . (Justyna and Zandarl)
2. Mycroft: "This is a private matter." Sherlock: "John stays." Mycroft: "This is family." Sherlock: "That's why he stays!" (Luarturi, Justyna, and Prpleight)
3. David: "With Eurus Holmes in the world, who the hell would I pray to?" (Luarturi)
4. Sherlock: "I love you." (Luarturi)
Sweet/Vicious -
1. Ophelia: "I know that you know what happened between Nate and Jules. You saw the change in her after that night. Somewhere, deep down, beneath the 'yass girls' and the 'Zeta realness,' you know the truth, and it terrifies you." (Luarturi)
2. Ophelia: "I wish I could fix you. I wish I could take away your pain, and reverse everything that happened to you, but I can't. But I can tell you that I'm scared, and I just want you to be better." (Luarturi)
Teen Wolf -
1. Sheriff Stilinski: “I have a son. His name is Mieczyslaw Stilinski, but we call him Stiles. I remember. When Stiles was a little kid, he couldn't say his first name. I'm not sure why, it pretty much rolls off the tongue, but the closest he could was mischief. His mother called him that until...I remember when Stiles first got his jeep. It belonged to his mother. She wanted him to have it. The first time he took a spin behind the wheel, he went straight into a ditch. I gave him his first roll of duct tape that day. He was always getting into trouble, but he always had a good heart, always. We're here tonight because my goofball son because he decided to drag Scott, his greatest friend in the world, into the woods to see a dead body.” (Nirat, Marko, Justyna, and Dahne) ~~~And we finally have Stiles' first name! Plus some great back story that the episode really needed after all the heartbreaking moments. (Dahne)
2. Lydia: “You’re going to bite Stiles?” Scott: “To get him through the rift. It’s the only way.” Peter: “Just to clarify, are you planning on biting everyone in the train station?” Scott: “With Stiles back, he’ll be able to help us figure out a plan.” Malia: “He’s good at that.” Peter: “So the plan is to get Stiles to come up with a plan?" (Prpleight and Dahne) ~~~I adore Peter snark. It's one of the reasons I don't mind that they keep bringing him back. (Dahne)
3. Noah: "I took this picture on your last good day. Stiles refused to leave your side." Claudia: "I was sick, but I started getting better." Noah: "You were yourself all day. Stiles had his mom back, and I had my wife back." Claudia: "The medication had started to work." Noah: "Stiles couldn't stop talking about school, all the trouble he'd gotten into. He tried so hard to stay awake, and when he finally fell asleep, it was in your arms." Claudia: "The doctors couldn't explain it. We started making plans, started dreaming again." Noah: "We just sat together and watched each other. We didn't need to talk, and when you finally closed your eyes." Claudia: "I was myself again." Noah: "I knew you were gone." (Justyna and Dahne) ~~~And the tears poured down. Such a heartbreaking moment, made even more wrenching by Linden Ashby's riveting performance. (Dahne)
This Is Us -
1. Rebecca: “I think I'm nervous about you guys meeting me. I don't know how much you can tell from in there, but I am not going to be the perfect mom you have been dreaming about. You guys dream, right? I think so. I'm impatient, and I'm stubborn, and uh, stole an Abba-Zabba bar from the grocery store in fourth grade, and I'm terrified that I'm going to make a hundred wrong decisions to keep you guys from living the perfect lives that you deserve, but I will protect you fiercely, and I will always sing to you when you can't sleep, and I will always be excited to hear you laugh. I bet you guys are gonna have wildly different laughs, huh? I love you guys so much and I haven't even met you yet. It's crazy. So I guess what I'm trying to say, is um, you are gonna have to take the good with the bad when it comes to me. So now that you know all this, are you still excited to come join us, huh? I'll take that as a yes.” (Nirat, Marko, and Dahne)
2. Rebecca: “I've been acting out lately. I've been terrible to your dad who is just perfect. He is just perfect. Oh my God, you guys are going to freak out when you see how awesome your dad is. Seriously, you are gonna be huge fans.” (NIrat and Marko)
3. Jack: "I just... keep thinking about my wife and how I just wanna get home to her, hang out with her, make sure she's okay which is crazy because she's at her absolute worst right now, I mean, like, Exorcist-level bad. But I still don't wanna escape her, or my future vomiting, crapping little kids.. I just want more time with them, I wanna freeze time with them, so I can get a little bit more." (Little Dreamer)
About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for
SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to
Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts
The 100 "Red-Shirted" and
Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a
Last Week in TV column for
her blog and SpoilerTV.
~ "I speak TV."
