Teen Wolf - 5.06 - Required Reading - Recap / Episode Awards

Previously - Triclops told the pack nothing new in an hour-long interview before having his third eye plucked out, Lydia remembered the steampunk scientists from her surgery, Kira went full-on lightning bolt, Scott told Stiles about Kira almost beheading Scorpio, Malia nearly killed herself and Theo by driving while hallucinating and remembered her biological mom killing her adopted mom, Malia tells Theo about the Desert Wolf, Psycho palm bit Stiles and Stiles accidentally killed him. The fandom (meaning me) cheered to be rid of Psycho.

In a scene repeated at the end of this episode (argh), a steampunk scientist takes out a gasping Scott "True Alpha" McCall in the worst hospital on TV. Apparently Scott's werewolf powers are wonky (go figure) since he grabs for an inhaler even though his asthma cleared up IN THE PILOT. That's some reverse doctoring there, buddy. The scientist does mix it up though and throws Scott down the hallway instead of against the wall, costing me one Bingo square. Thanks. Luckily Malia's here to save the episode along with Mama McCall. Nice. Mama makes everything better. Malia bares her coyote teeth but doesn't fully transform and takes on the steampunk scientist with a kick to the chest. While Malia tries to claw him, Mama McCall drags her son to the elevator and gives him a bronchodilator shot. With Scott finally breathing again Mama McCall calls for Malia to run, who after getting choked awhile, breaks free…and barely outpaces the guy walking. No Maze Runner for her. In Teen Wolf slow-mo she manages to get into the elevator before the guy in armor can catch her and Mama McCall shuts the door before he can get his hand in. Scott looks at these kick butt women in awe from the elevator floor and decides that maybe they shouldn't have read the book. Not since Hocus Pocus has reading been put into such bad light. At least that's 2 episodes in a row that open with action though. Thumbs-up there. Flashing back a couple days (making it a flashback within a flashback), Deputy Red-Shirt stands on the lacrosse field now filled with teen gopher holes. Less than 5 minutes in and I'm already calling shenanicanon. It's gonna be a rough one. The book clearly said teens were in holes for days and not even in Beacon Hills could there be that many suddenly missing kids without someone throwing up a red flag. Also, wouldn't the bus drivers and a bazillion others be a little suspicious about holes suddenly sprouting up in the middle of the field? This better be one huge mind game or why bother writing canon if you just break it the next episode.

Back at the police precinct, Sheriff says the word "chimera" like I say spiders. He's just done with all of the supernatural junk he has to put up with. Stiles and Malia helpfully use their math skills to inform us that 2 dead chimeras plus 8 others make a total of 10. Beacon Hills story problems suck out loud. Plus they set the bar too low. Better send Liam and Mason out into the woods to fall in more holes to get an accurate count. Of course, that begs the question as to why steampunk scientists would suddenly change from relatively unknown burial sites in the woods to a splashy bleacher-side gravesite on public school grounds. Logic takes one look at this mess and heads south to Barbados. She needs a vacation. I start to head out too until Sheriff puts a picture of Psycho on his crime board. Uh oh. Stiles looks away (poor baby) while Sheriff explains the breakout and why he thinks Psycho is a chimera too. Sheriff: "You said that…uh, these guys…" Malia: "Dread Doctors." Sheriff: "Are we really calling 'em that?" Thank you, Sheriff. Yet another person who agrees that's a stupid name. As Malia and Sheriff ponder Psycho's current condition, Stiles steps away, heart beating fast. Malia thinks Psycho's dead but Sheriff wants proof. Good luck with that. He's now part of Parrish's Hannibal-inspired fan art. Sheriff notices Stiles isn't joining the snark, so Stiles ducks the issue and says they need to figure out what the teens all had in common. Obviously if they took time to break Psycho out of prison, it wasn't random. Good point, Stiles. Now tell your dad the truth about Psycho. You'll feel better and so will I.

Lydia, on the other hand, feels better now that she's learning to protect herself. I feel better too. Parrish reminds her to keep her hands up and clocks her when she doesn't. He's all for taking a break and worries about Lydia's stitches but she's determined not to be another Beacon Hills victim. I love this attitude. Right until they strip off their outer layers and she leans back into him, squicking me out for the 964th time. Just stop. Thankfully Lydia's memories of steampunk scientists break the mood. I've never been so happy to see these guys. Right until Scott pals up with Theo again to find people acting weird. Really, Scott? Look around. There's Stiles, Kira, Malia, and oh yeah, you! Let's hope your observational skills are not needed to defeat the steampunk scientists. Theo tries to get Scott and crew not to read the book by using seriously faulty logic. According to Theo, Tracy became a killer because of the book and not because…say, she was literally turned into a monster. He also blames Malia's car crash visions on the book but I call shenanicanon on that too (second time in 7 minutes). Malia was seeing visions while driving with HistoryDad before she ever found the book. Theo keeps babbling but it's their only clue so there's not much choice. Theo: "Scott, I came here hoping to find a pack. I wasn't planning on watching one fall apart." Sarcastic hand clap to you, sir, for saying that with a straight face. He of course joins their book club after school. Lydia: "My mom's book club usually has more wine." You might need it to get through this episode, honey. Stiles: "Well they also probably didn't read books that cause violent hallucinations." Ha! Scott: "That's why Malia's here." Kira: "So none of us go running into traffic." Scott: "Or worse." Huh? Where's the logic in that? Wouldn't it be more helpful to have someone NOT read the book if you're that worried? What makes you think Malia won't be another vision? I wave as Logic's plane leaves.

Lydia picks up the book first. "Maybe I should have my mother read it. She might remember a girl with a tail leaping off the ceiling, attacking everyone." Ouch and yet so true! Stiles at least questions the validity of their assumptions but Lydia confesses to seeing them in her surgery because one person needs to NOT keep secrets. Lydia: "When I look at the cover of the book, it's almost like…" Theo: "A memory trying to surface." Not suspicious at all, Theo. Lydia though is tired of being a victim. "If they did something to me, I want to know what it is." Huzzah! The others pick up their million copyright violations copies as the music crescendos rapidly in the most dramatic book reading ever. I laugh. Theo pretends to read. Kira inherits Stiles' 3B instant dyslexia. The others are bored. Triclops is definitely not winning any literary awards here. Scott: "Anyone feeling anything yet?" Kira: "Tired." Bwwaaahh!!!! Kira, speaking for the audience again. As Malia pours coffee, she notices Stiles rubbing his shoulder while Theo wolf listens to their conversation. Malia: "What did you do to your shoulder?" Stiles: "What are you talking about?" Malia: "I can smell the blood. What happened?" Stiles: "The Jeep dies on me again. I went to check the engine. The hood fell on it." Argh! Avoiding the issue although Malia hears his accelerated heartbeat, Stiles asks, "Alright so how much…uh, how much do you remember anyway, about the accident? Did it play like a movie in your head or was it like being completely in it again?" Malia: "In it." Stiles: "Was it just the crash, nothing else?" Malia flashes back to the Desert Wolf. "Nothing." Argh! For mostly smart people, they're sure dumb here. Secrets help no one. Malia notices Theo listening as I contemplate smacking the smirk off his face. Kira however is just done. Like Stiles two episodes before this, she wisely decides to sleep through the episode. The rest, except for Theo, soon follow. Once again, Jeff Davis is the gift that keeps giving. If I have to be subjected to these snooze-worthy episodes, at least I get the sleeping screencaps to describe them.

Jeff Davis!!!! I take it back. How dare you subject me to more nightclub/loud music shenanigans! You only get one per season. My evil eye has marked you. Liam Hater, the underage sophomore, has graduated from alcoholic beverages to glow sticks and I don't care one jot. Suffice it to say Liam wants to pay her back for her season 4, erhm, season 5 money woes and puppy dogs his way into her life with $42 and the ability to turn the power back on. Liam Hater: "I've got to be honest, Liam. If you're trying to be a good guy, I really don't care." I love how all these characters are reading my mind. For once, I'm not even unhappy to return to Theo because at least he doesn't come with atrocious music. Instead he digs deep for his inner stalker and tapes Kira mumbling in Japanese. The next day, the gang freaks because they got a good night's sleep, a true luxury in Beacon Hills. Scott: "What if we need some kind of a trigger? Wasn't Malia driving whenever she remembered the crash?" Stiles: "Yeah but how are we supposed trigger a memory that we don't remember?" Scott: "Maybe it's a delayed thing." Me: "Maybe it's filler like most of this episode. Just saying." The lights flicker, prompting Scott and Stiles to stare at Kira. I stare because her weird striped shirt reminds me of Scott's tattoo. Then I laugh at their facial expressions as they all wig out. Scott: "We keep an eye on each other today, okay?" Stiles: "Yes, and keep an eye out for 8 other potentially homicidal chimeras." Kira: "And keep an eye out for the dread doctors." Stiles: "I'm starting to see the appeal of a third eye." Ha! Attending AP Plot Device, the suspiciously unsympathetic teacher squawks about invasive species while Theo points out Sydney's sudden hair loss problem to Lydia via text. Sydney flees the plot exposition to sit in the guidance office like I wish I could and Lydia follows. Waiting on Lydia's mom, a new potential theory hits me. Maybe she's the connection. After all, the other chimera kids we know have all had psychological issues. Of course it could just as easily be a hospital connection.

Anyway, Lydia is sympathetic in a way she would never have been in season 1. Love that character growth. Sydney explains that her hair falls out due to stress. "I've tried everything - medication, acupuncture, hypnosis." Lydia: "Have you tried not taking the hardest classes in school?" Bwah! And Lydia gets a zinger tonight. She offers to help but seeing Sydney's bald spot triggers a memory of seeing her dead grandma at Eichen House when she was a kid. Mama Martin stands over Granny, who apparently drilled a hole in her own head in a bath tub. Hey, wait a minute. I thought DoucheOrderly CrazyPants hung her in Perishable (4.09). What the heck! I don't even get this. Scott wakes Lydia up and put his hand over her shaking one, while the ever-present Theo watches. Seriously, this dude gets more screen time than even Liam did last year. Not acceptable. Lydia says she has no news about the steampunk scientists before lying to her panicked mom. Meanwhile Mason takes a turn as Stiles 2.0 (since he's already been everyone else 2.0) and proceeds to tell Kira about herself. You know, because she doesn't have an immortal mom with the exact same condition to explain things for her. Nah, that's be too easy. Essentially kitsunes have trouble with language , causing her Stiles season 4 reading issues and mediocre English grade. It however has never once stopped her from doing her own research in previous seasons. Scott's more concerned about AP Plot Device and has the first of 2 asthma attacks this episode while trying to drop it. This teacher inspires fear in all. His sudden return to asthma prompts him to remember having a bad attack that landed him in the hospital when his dog died. For the record, Mama McCall was awesome then too. Bio teacher, not so much, since she keeps asking Scott questions instead of…I don't know, calling the nurse! Sigh.

We interrupt this medical emergency for lacrosse filler. Welcome back, season 4. Didn't miss you. Liam and Former Liam Hater aggressive flirt by outscoring each other in soccer and lacrosse. Shockingly no one is shirtless. Moving on. Tall Prep Blonde returns to give Mason supernatural scoop again because he never apparently goes to his school. Although he attends the same prep school Liam did before getting kicked out, Mason fills TPB in on the great 6th grade debacle. Liam Hater hates Liam because he accidentally gave her a black eye right before yearbook pictures. She in return gave Liam a black eye too. Creepily, Mason has their 6th grade yearbook photos on his phone. I guess they don't have picture retakes at this school. Facepalm. Therein lies the whole very lame feud. Again, I don't care. Just turn down the freaking music. Random Teen #22 interrupts in search of an inhaler. Suddenly psychic, Liam realizes it's for Scott although Scott never had an asthma problem in the entire time Liam knew him. Running in with the inhaler, Super Special Derek-Approved Snowflake Liam saves the day by wolf eyeing Scott into awareness so he can take a hit off the inhaler, which still has the cap on it. Bwaaah! It doesn't work that way. Former Liam Hater now approves too so she can only be called Hayden. Sigh. And more Theo. Double sigh. He hears Malia enter the workout room so he takes off his shirt (Teen Wolf necessity) and lifts weights to impress her like the cocky douche he is. She double glances so the camera can dwell on his abs but is more concerned with why he didn't spill the beans about the Desert Wolf. Mid rep, she stops the butterfly equipment and leans in close. Malia: "You think you're doing me a favor, like I'm gonna owe you now." He says he just wants in the pack but Malia's not buying it. I'm just happy someone else finds him shady and she caused Pretty Boy to strain a muscle. Nice work, Malia!

Since there's never enough filler, it's time for the sub-sub-subplot character chat. Apparently Deputy Red Shirt is Hayden's sister. She exposits Hayden's expensive pills within Liam's earshot. Scott however sits forlornly in the locker room for his new best pal, Theo the Grand Douche of Doucheville. Theo is super proud because he learned how to work Google Translate and exposits that Kira's been muttering about her new role as "messenger of Death" in her sleep. Instead of freaking out about Theo stalking his girlfriend, he confesses his doubts about Kira and her new wonky powers to the enemy. I'm too tired to facepalm. The lights flicker again and I count down until the Winchesters come to Beacon Hills and put the whole bloody mess out of its misery. In the basement they find that someone chewed through the wiring. Can't blame Kira for this one. Meanwhile Stiles and Lydia road trip to the hospital…for reasons. Lydia: "If I read the book, why don't I have the full memory of my experience with them?" Stiles: "I'm not supposed to know that, am I?" Being the 6th freaking episode out of 10, we could only hope Stiles. Lydia figures her banshee powers are actually cuing into other people's memories of the steampunk scientists. Sneaking into the OR room/hallway (in that hospital he couldn't sneak in to see Lydia a few episodes ago), they too find lighting failures. Electrical problems like stupidity and secrets are spreading this season. Lydia sends Stiles to find someone to turn on the lights in the area they are breaking into. Okay. Stiles: "I thought this was more of an auditory thing." Lydia: "I still want to see what I'm hearing." Stiles: "Makes sense." About as much as "You're not going alone" Stiles leaving Lydia by herself in the unlit creepy hospital basement with monster-making loonies roaming around. Mama McCall explains the electricity problem to Stiles and also questions why Lydia needs the lights on, but never questions leaving her alone. Ugh!

While Stiles heads for the elevator, Lydia re-enacts Poltergeist. At the now functioning vitals monitor, she leans in to hear it whisper Hayden's name as I sit nervously, expecting the machine to suck her in. Malia though exposits the hospital power failure to Scott and Theo so they go to stop Current Chewer Chimera. A steady diet of functioning electrical wires can't be good for your digestion, honey. Neither is Douche Bartender as it's back to the underage bar AGAIN! At least they acknowledge there's no way in Hades that Hayden should be serving drinks. Liam stops by with more money and makes up with Hayden only to find that she's a chimera by shining a glow stick in her eyes. Hey, I don't make this up. I just report the facts. Also Hayden has a tragic kidney failure back story that demands additional money woes and a cop sister turning a blind eye at her job. Bah! She still has it better than Current Chewer, who Lydia banshee watches as steampunk scientists pull back his skin to reveal blue insides. Someone has an Avatar fetish. Meanwhile Stiles is stopped in the elevator by his own hallucination. He sees his mother leave the elevator and follows her to the roof. That cannot be good. Sheriff talks her down by reminding her that she's delusional. She in turn tells him that Stiles wants to kill her and then starts screaming at a 10-year-old Stiles. Are you freaking kidding me? This is the Claudia-Stiles interaction? You suck, Jeff Davis. You completely suck! Why must we always get crying Stiles pain these days? Claudia starts smacking Stiles but really it's Current Chewer. Theo of course saves Stiles while Malia saves Scott in the repeated cold open scene. Theo slashes Current Chewer's throat in the second best action of the night as steampunk scientists call him a failure. Then Theo tells Stiles not to tell Scott because Theo didn't tell Scott that Stiles killed Psycho. Oh joy! See what keeping secrets does. It puts you in league with the devil.

And so ends 41 minutes (with the same scene repeated twice) that felt like 41 hours. Again. What is up with these even numbered episodes? I promise I would much prefer to have 10 good, solid episodes than 1 good episode followed by one that's mostly filler in a never ending pattern. It's like Teen Wolf doesn't know if it wants to be season 1 or season 3 anymore and this script is all over the map.  I think there were more scenes in this one than usual but mostly they were short and patchworked, held together by loosening threads.  The opening was good if bizarrely placed but then it's all watching people read and fall asleep. Lucky them. The middle contains a dozen sub-subplots scenes for no reason. Do these actors have contracts mandating they be thrown in every other episode? That's what it feels like. I'm starting to get "not them again" syndrome. At least Malia and Mama McCall start the episode off right.  In fact Malia straight up rocked this episode.  Also the flashbacks added some character insight to the main trio, but the rest was utterly forgettable and not necessary. The pacing could best be described as needing Adderall to control its ADD and Ephedra to give it some energy.  I might need some too if the good-not good pattern of episodes continue.

Grade: D+

Episode Awards:

Character of the Night - Malia

Best Moment - Scott holds Lydia's shaking hand

Best Scene - Malia saves Scott from the steampunk scientist

Best Character Interaction -  Malia vs. Theo

Best Déjà Vu - Sheriff thinks dread doctors is a stupid name too

Best Reaction - Stiles to Sheriff pinning Psycho's picture on the wall

Best Plan - Lydia finally learns to defend herself

Most Kick Butt - Malia when she confronts Theo

Most Completely Done - Sheriff now having to deal with chimeras too

Most Specialist Snowflake Moment - Liam saves Scott from an asthma attack by wolf eyeing him

Wackiest Plan - Liam uses a glow stick to find out Hayden's a chimera

Worst Plan - secrets and lies / telling Theo anything

Worst Regression - Scott has asthma again

Worst Fan Argument - Since Parrish is maybe 6-8 years older than Lydia, their flirting is not in every way squicky.  A 16 year old is only 6 years older than a 10 year old but that doesn’t make that okay.

Least Interesting Competition - Liam and Hayden aggressive flirt to obnoxiously loud music

Least Interesting Subplot - Douche Bartender

Least Sympathetic - AP Bio teacher

Least Needed - Tall Prep Blond has zero purpose in this episode

Least Impressive Achievement - Theo found an app to translate Japanese

MVP - sleeping gifs

The "Hey I'm a Librarian But Still…" Award - While I'm always glad to promote reading, I would much rather read a book myself than watch other people read.

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - the whole Liam-Hayden feud is over a yearbook picture

The "Fountain of Youth" Award - Mama McCall in the flashback

The "Poor Baby" Award - Most Heartbreaking - Stiles sees his mom and she flips out on him

Biggest Creeper - Theo

Biggest Facepalm - Scott takes a hit off an inhaler that still has the cap on it

Biggest Side Eye - to Jeff Davis for his fascination with underage, half-naked clubbing

Biggest Eye Roll - Outside clubbing, why does Mason need to explain to Kira what she is?  Her mom's right there.

Biggest Logic Leap - that it is Scott who needs the inhaler

Biggest Reason NOT to Keep Secrets - Theo has bargaining power over Stiles

Biggest What the Heck - I thought Douche Orderly CrazyPants hung Lydia's grandma.  What is up with this flashback/nightmare?

Best Fight - Malia vs. steampunk scientists / Theo vs. chimera

4 Times the Characters Spoke For Me: 

1.  Scott:  "Anyone feeling anything yet?"  Kira:  "Tired." 

2.  Hayden in the club:  "I hate all ages now."

3.  Hayden:  "I've got to be honest, Liam.  If you're trying to be a good guy, I really don't care."

4.  Sheriff:  "You said that…uh, these guys…"  Malia:  "Dread Doctors."  Sheriff:  "Are we really calling 'em that?"

Best Quotes -

1.  Scott:  "We keep an eye on each other today, okay?"  Stiles:  "Yes, and keep an eye out for 8 other potentially homicidal chimeras."  Kira:  "And keep an eye out for the dread doctors."  Stiles:  "I'm starting to see the appeal of a third eye."

2.  Lydia:  "My mom's book club usually has more wine."  Stiles:  "Well they also probably didn't read books that cause violent hallucinations."

3.  Sheriff:  "You said that…uh, these guys…"  Malia:  "Dread Doctors."  Sheriff:  "Are we really calling 'em that?"

4.  Sydney:  "It's stress.  I've tried everything - medication, acupuncture, hypnosis."  Lydia:  "Have you tried not taking the hardest classes in school?"

5.  Stiles:  "I thought this was more of an auditory thing."  Lydia:  "I still want to see what I'm hearing."  Stiles:  "Makes sense."

6.  Theo:  "Isn't everyone a little weird in high school?"

VIPs of the Episode:  Sleeping and Malia

Screencaps by Piclist, Princess Haley, Take Me Away to Infinity, Ink 361, Igsta, Teen Wolf Wikia, Liam Dunbar Falls in Holes, Really Late Reviews, Amy Lillian, Team TSD, Peency, and me

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted", Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

Recent Reviews (All Reviews)

Teen Wolf - 5.06 - Required Reading - Best Scene Poll

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted", Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

Recent Reviews (All Reviews)

Teen Wolf - 5.06 - Bingo Card

It's Teen Wolf time so that means Teen Wolf Bingo cards.  I tweaked some spaces last week and took out Greenberg and Douche Dad.  Jeep woes, secrets, and Mason lust replaced them.  That should make it a little easier.  As always, if you have a suggestion for the Bingo card either tweet me it @Dahne1 or put it in the comments below.   If you are live tweeting tonight's episode, also let me know so I can add you to the Tweetfeed list.



Bingo Card Links:


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Set of 8

Make Your Own

OFFICIAL CARD:

Teen Wolf Bingo - 5.05
Someone lies	A party breaks out	Keeping a secret backfires	Malia makes inapropos comment	Mason has dating / lust issues
Kira uses her sword belt	Stiles makes a funny face	Death in school, woods, or hospital	Someone's eyes glow	Malia looks confused and/or kick butt
Someone plays lacrosse	Lydia finds something horrible	Anyone says "true alpha"	Someone growls	Music played way too loud
Someone in school when shouldn't be	Lydia stares blankly into space	A formerly "dead" person appears	Someone is thrown against a wall	Big plot twist
Awkward talk in locker room	Scott/Stiles bromance moment	A parent is helpful	Recurring character bleeds	Deaton is no help at all

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted", Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

Recent Reviews (All Reviews)

Teen Wolf - 5.05 - A Novel Approach - Recap

Previously - AP Biology was renamed Plot Device, chimeras were defined…twice, Kira almost beheaded Scorpio, Theo set Psycho on Stiles, who used his palm mouth to bite him

Picking up exactly where last week left off (as last week should have), Stiles screams in pain as Psycho uses his palm mouth to bite Stiles' shoulder. He then tries to choke Stiles but Stiles head butts him and hits him with the wrench. With Psycho momentarily down, Stiles races into the school and heads back to the library while Psycho's weird mouth thing moves to his neck. Apparently the library has no security worries since anyone with a school id can get in even in the middle of the night. Oh Beacon Hills High. Stiles tries to calm himself down as Psycho enters with a Beacon Hills High id too. Um, didn't you tell me a couple weeks ago that he was an adult. There's also a weird pan in to tracks on the floor going both ways; I don't understand but will probably be important later. Stiles hides in the stacks, gripping his wrench tight, but Psycho has his phone. Not good. Psycho babbles on about his personal trauma. In summation, he blames Sheriff for his dad being wheelchair bound because they were partners the night his dad was shot. It would all be more tragic if Psycho lost his affinity for limited cursing or I cared about him. Instead I've already decided there is more to this story and still don't care. Save Stiles! Stiles, however, gets increasingly distressed by Psycho's rantings but keeps it together until Psycho pulls him through the bookshelves. Stiles drops the wrench but elbows Psycho in the nose before trying to climb the scaffolding the shady workmen left behind. Psycho screams in rage and grabs Stiles' leg. Psycho doesn't plan on killing him, just having a little Stiles' flavored legs for dinner. Um, no thank you. Seeing the pin that holds the top half of the scaffolding together, Stiles reaches desperately for it. After several tries, he gets it and a pile of steel beams fall down on Psycho, one impaling him in the chest. Stiles sees a still alive Psycho and at first plans to take the bar out…because no one in Beacon Hills has the foggiest notion about emergency training, still. He hesitates when Psycho growls at him and then dies, silver liquid pooling from his body like with Tracey. I cannot stress how awesome a job Dylan O'Brien does reacting here in a brilliant sequence in which he has no dialogue.

Panicked, Stiles calls 911 but can't speak from the shock so the operator thinks it is a crank call. They send a cop to the high school and instead of calling his dad with the phone his fingerprints are already on, Stiles flees. He looks over at Psycho's dead body and heads for the door, putting a book in it so the body will be found. He's about out when his phone, still in Psycho's pocket, goes off. So not good. He rifles through Psycho's pocket to grab it but instead of letting Malia know what happened, he turns his phone off. Secrets are season 5's answer to money woes and have gotten old just as fast. Hightailing it to his Jeep, Stiles fixes it but instead of driving he breaks down. He is at the onset of a panic attack with shaking hands and deep breathing until the sirens snap him out of it. Shifting in gear, he turns off his headlights, backs up out of the light, and cuts the engine. Smart. Anyone fleeing would be automatically suspicious. The cop literally spends 33 seconds checking the school out . Who can blame him? It's Beacon Hills High at night and cops there don't even have good medical insurance. Meanwhile Stiles can't even look at himself in the rear view mirror. He hangs his head in shame as my heart breaks for him. It was self-defense. He freaks out even more when the cop calls it a prank call on the police scanner, giving him no choice but to head back to the library. Um, where's the body? Where's the blood? Where's the big mess that was this crime scene? Got to hand it to Parrish. When he snatches a body he does some freakishly good, quick housekeeping. Quit the police force, Parrish. You'd make a fortune in janitorial services. Again Stiles reacts in shock but as if to prove he's not going crazy, a spot of blood smears the bar now stacked neatly against the scaffolding. At this point, it will not surprise me if they are all in a lucid dreaming state instead of really living any of this. Regardless, that was some of the finest acting on Teen Wolf since 3B. Kudos, Mr. O'Brien!

Back at Scott's Den of Sin, Kira slept over. Yeah, not buying it. Mama Fox is far more aware than this. Just like there's no way MIA Tate wouldn't have Malia, who was missing for years, locked in each night. This plot device uses no common sense. Anyway Kira mutters in Japanese and wakens Scott, but the new nifty alarm app on his product placed AT&T phone informs him of a break-in at the clinic. Perhaps someone on Teen Wolf should get one….you know, for their OWN HOUSE, since the supernatural traipses all over their stuff on a regular basis. They head to the clinic only to find Tracey's body gone as is Scorpio's from the hospital. Meanwhile Stiles adds Psycho's death to his supernatural crime spree board. He comes up with 2 options: Psycho walked out or someone took the body. Since the steampunk scientists' weird buzz is in the background, I'd go with the "forget it and run" option. That noise seriously creeps me out here even if it's hidden by Dylan's brilliant silent acting again. He stares at the board, breaking down in little details before frantically erasing his guilt. As he grabs his shoulder where he was bitten, his phone suddenly buzzes and we both jump. It's Scott to talk vanishing bodies and Stiles speaks for the first time tonight. I wish Stiles would share his own body snatcher story, but nope. Season 5 = secrets. We do get the mandatory Parrish appearance, albeit actually clothed today, as he takes Psycho to the nematon. Awesome! I'm all for cremating this evidence. Um, provided it means Psycho does NOT come back in some rebirth ritual. He must stay dead.

The next day Malia shares the Dread Doctors book with Lydia while Kira violates a zillion copyright laws and depletes the library toner copying it for everyone. Lydia reads the synopsis, confirming Liam's hole theory. Bonus points for zero Liam, Mason, or holes this episode. I call shenanicanon though when the book says the teens are buried for days. No way Tracey's albeit sometimes clueless dad was so absentminded he didn't notice she was missing. Malia continues, insuring I'll never read The Dread Doctors since there is no ending. Malia: "I think we're living volume 2." Lydia: "Then maybe the real question is, is this a novel or someone's prediction." I still say it's fanfic. Scott has his own doubts the whole thing. "I don't think the Dread Doctors are the ones who are stealing the bodies." He logics it out with his AP Biology studying brain since the steampunk scientists keep leaving the bodies lying around for others to deal with. Kira: "Are we really calling them that?" Why no, Kira, this part of "we" will not because it is lame. Scott rattles about the dead being failures in case some tuned out last week's unending exposition and to set up the punch line. Kira: "So if the chimeras are all failures, what's a success gonna be?" Scott: "Bad. Probably really bad." Thanks, Deaton. Since I have not facepalmed one time so far this episode, Scott dramatically turns around now to say he smells blood. Argh! In a library full of teens. You don't say. I'd expect Scott to smell blood a lot. Does no one knick themselves shaving in Beacon Hills? Has no one scraped a knee? Dramatic pause is just so dramatic. Oh Teen Wolf. Scott pow wows with Theo about the book, who points out the dedication to Triclops at the same time Lydia sees it with Malia. Theo then heads to the steampunk scientists to say their evil plan to get Scott's pack to Eichen House worked. Mwwaaahhh haaa haaa! Triclops either knows the plan too or he's just feeling the 70's sweatband trend.

Back at the Stilinski residence, Stiles is frustrated. There's no way he's letting Lydia go back to Eichen House without him. Lydia protests because he said he was sick and exposits that Malia's nixing the crazy too. Or as Stiles puts it: "Malia's not going because she knows that that place is a nightmare asylum of insanity and death, okay?" Smart girl. It's also fan pandering to shippers (sigh) so moving right along. Lydia sees Stiles wince as he puts his jacket on so I now worry about just how bad that bite is. Let's get some Mama McCall here stat. I miss her awesome. Stiles brushes it off. "What was what?" Lydia: "You winced." Stiles: "I have a bad elbow." Really, Stiles? Lydia: "It was your shoulder." Stiles: "Pain radiates. It does that. You are not going without me. You remember what happened to Deaton when he talked to Valack?" Lydia: "Scott and Kira are going to be there." Stiles: "Okay, I'm not letting you go to a place where one of the orderlies almost killed you." Lydia: "He almost killed you too." Stiles: "And we're both still alive. See. Teamwork." Awww, I like this friendship a lot and how they take care of each other. They need more scenes together. They are definitely more appealing than the Scott and Kira missing belt drama. Kira, either join Malia and be awesome together or shut up with the passive aggressive behavior over Scott's "I love you." Even Scott picks up on it but instead of hashing it out so it can be done, Kira asks Scott to wolf out and see if she's glowing. That's one huge YES to that. Kira is so full on flaming fox warrior that it freaks Scott out. So of course…he lies about it because that's just what we do in season 5 even if it makes zero sense. Scott: "I found your belt. Everything else is fine." Uh huh. Okay. I'm not even going to ask why they were looking in the laundry hamper for it instead of under the bed in the first place.

Thank goodness it's off to Eichen House. While Lydia rings the bell with Kira, it's discussion time for Scott and Stiles. Maybe a little truth. Yeah, no. Psych! It starts with Stiles wearing his guilty face before he can blink it away. Scott: "You gonna be okay in there?" I love them asking if the other's okay. It happens so often it's a Bingo square but it still gets me every time. Scott realizes his best friend is off but Stiles, of course lies…because it's season 5 and everyone's stupid. This is the same guy who counseled Liam to tell Mason the truth because not doing so is always worse. You remember that Stiles/writers, because I do. Stiles says they're all a little off and clues in on Scott's anxiety over Kira, which triggers instant best friend mode in Stiles. It's a totally different body language. Scott tells him about Kira channeling her inner Matrix-style Rosetta Stone download, but Stiles isn't all that concerned. Scott: "She doesn't know any Japanese." Stiles: "It's still not terrible." Scott: "I also think I might have stopped her from killing Lucas." Perfect time to bring up Psycho. Stiles: "Okay, wasn't he trying to kill you though? I mean it sounds like self-defense." He rubs his shoulder. Scott: "It was more than that. I mean she nearly took off his head." Stiles: "Maybe she had no choice. There's got to be a point where self-defense is justified. Tracey killed her own father and Lucas would have killed you." Scott: "They're not the bad guys. They're the victims. We shouldn't be killing the people we're trying to save." While I love the bromance moments that are too few these days, this one hurts my heart and neither are to blame. They just don't understand where the other is coming from and another huge wedge comes between them. The people of Eichen House must be pro-Scott-Stiles rift because they finally open the gates, leading to an ominous overhead shot. As the gates clang shut, they all look back at the camera, assuring it's really, really going to suck to be them.

Oh joy, it's Creeper, the premiere orderly with the needle. He demands they empty their pockets and Scott give Stiles the silent eyebrow before they all comply. Creeper also demands Kira's nifty sword belt, all the while staring at Lydia. She's rattled and Stiles gives the dude serious side eye before getting sidetracked by the scaffolding pin he pulled out to kill Psycho, which somehow suddenly appears. I begin to think it's a Stargate/X-Files hive mind and they're actually all imprisoned at Eichen House under Triclops' control. Too much crazy going on. Eichen House Head (EHH) escorts them against his better judgment as favor for Deaton. Hmm, so he's more useful when he's away. Good to know. Stiles: "Hey, what's the etiquette for…uh, talking to this guy? I mean do you ever look at the other eye?" Ha! Ann Landers doesn't cover this situation. EHH suggests not looking at any one or anything so that's not ominous at all. Still Malia (or I) get the worse deal because Theo decides they should be study buddies. Oh great. A while later Malia packs to go and Theo offers her a ride, which she declines. Smart. Theo: "Haven't I seen you coming out of Drivers' Ed?" Malia: "I hope not." Theo: "I'm pretty sure I saw you destroy a couple traffic cones the other day and nearly take out a sophomore." Malia: "The sophomore shouldn't have been standing there." Oh Malia, you make me smile. Don't ever change. Theo offers to help her practice and she agrees. Good. Maybe Malia's driving can kill Theo and 2 annoyances can go in 1 episode. One can always hope.

Back at Eichen House, the first setback comes early in the form of…mountain ash. Not again. What wonky canon-crazy shenanigans do we get this time? Apparently the basement's laced with it so Scott and Kira can't see Triclops. Lydia has no trouble though. Hmmm? If nothing supernatural can cross it and Lydia is a banshee and banshees are supernatural, then 1 + 1 + 1 = 92. I know Lydia doesn't have the same powers as werewolves and kitsunes, but she is supernatural so either Deaton should clarify mountain ash "rules" or Jeff Davis threw canon out the window to please shippers. Just saying. Scott encourages Lydia and Stiles, who proceed down Eichen House's creepiest hallway and that's saying a lot. Stiles walks slightly ahead of Lydia as they pass No Mouth's female cousin and…Psycho? Huh? Ah it's the fan-created monster, basically a scarier boggart that changes into the people haunting your conscience. Triclops calls Stiles on seeing someone because he's the biggest psychic on the block or he reads body language. Stiles is obviously shaken by the encounter and calls everyone a lost soul in this basement. I agree. Triclops does not. "Don't give up on us yet. We're all works in progress." Ha!  Nice reference to Peter Hale there.  Lydia discovers Triclops is the author and he says the book is a conduit to help people remember previous encounters with the steampunk scientists. He exposits that they were scientists obsessed with the paranormal, who used energy, frequency, and vibration through electromagnetism to live longer and become powerful. Lydia asks what they want. Triclops: "A good question, Lydia. Everybody wants something, don't they?" Stiles: "Okay, so what do you want?" Answer - a recording of Lydia's banshee scream. Stiles and I vehemently protest. Stiles: "No way. Not happening. Sorry." Lydia: "He's the only one that knows anything." Stiles: "The guy is a nutjob who drilled a hole into his head." Yep, plus Trust Stiles is the real motto this season.

Meanwhile the mountain ash drugs Scott and Kira, who's about to pass out. Kira: "This was a bad idea, wasn't it?" For once I disagree. Coming was vital even if it played right into the steampunk scientists' hands. However what is a bad idea is Kira remaining down there instead of going back upstairs. She's obviously not doing anyone any good here so she might as well conserve her strength. She won't help in a fight without it. Scott: "No, they'll be okay without us. Those two, they're pretty good together." Agreed. In fact no need to push so hard, Jeff Davis. We all know they make a good, smart team. That does NOT mean they have to be a couple, by the way. I love them as good friends. I love Scott acknowledging them even more. "No super strength or samurai swords, but they stay alive." Kira screws up the Lydia and Stiles admiration fest by turning it to shipping, while I groan and wonder why the middle of Teen Wolf always drags. That's not how it used to be. Blah, blah, blah. Stiles and Lydia both grew into awesome characters. Lydia is better when she doesn't hide her brains. Things were good in season 2. Stiles is observant. Agreed. Move on. I have absolutely zero interest in a Teen Wolf love triangle if that's where this is heading. I prefer to think of them as 2 friends who care about each other because of their shared past. They almost died together and are good friends. Of course they care. Luckily we're saved from the rest of this conversation by flickering lights. Time to call the Winchesters and grab some salt. Kira does her best bug zapper impression. Scott: "Kira, whatever you're doing, please stop." Kira: "I'm not doing anything. It's just happening." That's never a good sign. You should probably…I don't know, get out now while you can!!! Nope. They stare at each other until Kira faints and when Scott goes to check on her, he gets zapped into the gate.

With Kira down for the count, things pick up with Triclops. He regains Lydia and Stiles' attention, claiming the steampunk scientists went on a killing spree before. Strengthening the nematon in season 3 allowed them to come back to Beacon Hills. Darn nematon keeps screwing with them. With a flair for the dramatic, Triclops rips off his 70's workout sweatband and reveals his third eye, which a foolish Lydia looks into. No matter though because Triclops freaks when he realizes a kitsune is in Eichen House. Lydia and Stiles freak when the light explodes. Apparently Eichen House is built upon telluric currents (see Danny's term paper in season 3) and uses them for supernatural defense. Kira unwittingly takes down the defenses so the steampunk scientists can enter the building. Triclops: "They knew you were coming. They're here and you unlocked the door for them." Since the exposition's lessening in favor of some action, this is a perfect time to…return to Theo and Malia's driving lesson? Ugh! I need Theo dead. Observing Malia's death grip on his steering wheel, he flirts by repositioning her hands and tells her to break the speed limit. You're totally going to regret that. Personally I would worry more about the fact that she's driving on the wrong side of the road than her steering wheel grip but that's just me. Still Malia is relieved to NOT have to follow the rules with this bad boy and relaxes, right until she's hit by a flashback to the car crash that killed her family. She picks up speed until even laissez faire Theo is nervous. He grabs the wheel (facepalm) but that only makes them swerve. Malia finally stops, gets out of the car, and perches coyote style in the middle of the road. She doesn't hear Theo calling her name as she's too busy watching the Desert Wolf shoot up the family car. What? They noticed coyote scratches on the car in season 3, but no one saw the bullet holes? I call shenanicanon! Bah! Theo pulls Malia away before a car hits her and she tells him that the Desert Wolf killed her family.

Back at Eichen House, Triclops flips out about the banshee scream recording and Stiles knows they have him on the ropes. Triclops: "Hit record. Do it now. It costs you nothing." Stiles: "But it's worth something to you so you're not getting it for free." Lydia: "What does the book do?" Triclops exposits AGAIN that it unblocks their memories and a recapitation of Lydia seeing steampunk scientists in the hospital flashes. Triclops hoped it would bring others who had seen them to him but it never worked since people weren't interested in his cheesy novel. The end all of this lengthy interview is that they need to read the book and remember. Thanks Triclops. Lydia is good with that explanation. Stiles and I are not. Still he hands over the tape recorder when she gestures for it. I'd say more info is definitely needed given that no one seems capable of asking the right questions. Seriously, how hard is it to ask about how to stop the villains before giving Triclops what he wants? Very frustrating! Lydia screams but it's way too late. Since the steampunk scientists are much more impressive than 4 high school kids, Creeper does not demand their hardware as they enter the facility. They head straight to the basement but Eichen House Head beats them down there. He asks Scott what's going on but flees when he sees the steampunk scientists. Survival instinct is strong in this one. Can't blame him. It is Beacon Hills. Desperate, Scott lifts Kira even though she keeps zapping him and struggles to get them both outside. It obviously takes a lot out of Scott as his burned body practically passes out on the steps, unable to go back in for Stiles and Lydia. He does have enough strength to tell Kira he remembers saying, "I love you," and to confirm that he meant it though. She in return summons enough strength to lie down on top of him and grab his hand. Priorities and all.

Meanwhile Lydia gives Triclops the banshee scream recording and THEN asks questions. Facepalm. She wants to know what the steampunk scientists' goal is but Stiles is more concerned about the blaring alarm now going off. "Lydia, I think we need to get out of here." Since all Triclops says over and over again is to read the book, I agree. He's as unhelpful as Deaton and they're still not one jot closer to what's going on than they were before they entered Eichen House to listen to his lengthy exposition on nothing. Stiles pulls Lydia away to hide in an empty room (hmm). Triclops instead makes his move by standing tall and glaring at the approaching steampunk scientists. I thought he wanted the banshee scream to protect himself, but nope. The pesky supernatural proof wall is no match for steampunk scientists though. They hand wave their way in and over his protests, suck out Triclops' third eye. Blech, blech, and triple blech. Triclops' scream rivals Lydia's. It also means the steampunk scientists were afraid of Triclops' psychic ability, which begs the question - why didn't they kill him too? They had zero problems killing teens so why leave a potential enemy alive? Or maybe it really was about the eye itself? Lydia and Stiles however have much more pressing concerns than my litany of questions, like blaming themselves for every single horror that has ever happened in Beacon Hills. After Scott's similar guilt fest last episode, this might be another theme this season. Lydia: "I think we're okay. Stiles?" Stiles: "No, it's not okay. All of this, it's on us. Everything that's happened, everything that's gonna happen, it's our fault." Lydia: "It's our responsibility." Yeah, no. It's not. It's those darn telluric currents and nematon. What is your fault though is that Former Triclops uses that banshee scream to crack his cell open. I knew that was a bad idea. Now you've got another foe on the loose and you still have no more useful intel than when you started. Great!

While the middle of this episode did slow down a lot for exposition as season 5 is wont to do, the real discussion of this episodes lies solely in Dylan O'Brien's ability to encompass all of Stiles fear and guilt. Having rewatched season 1 and 2 about a month ago, it is amazing to see how much he has grown as an actor. By letting him do the first 3 scenes without dialogue, the writers and Jeff showed how much confidence they had in that acting and it paid off big time. My particular favorite moment came when Stiles caught his reflection in the rearview mirror. He stares for a second and then slides his eyes away in guilt only to flash back to the mirror and then look away guiltily. Instead of a monologue, the anguish he feels flits across his face. It's there as he taps nervously with his hands and runs his fingers through his hair. It's there in the pause before he frantically wipes away what he's done from his murder board. It's there in the stifled scream before Scott calls and refocuses him. Everything about Stiles is spot on in this episode and it almost makes up for the lack of Stiles time we got last episode. I also thought the conversation between Scott and Stiles about self-defense, while being way too on the nose, hammered the key differences between them out. It is these differences and all the secrets that will drive a wedge between them, not Theo. In this, Theo was a complete success by sending Psycho after Stiles. In the end, the first 13 minutes well make up for the drawn out interview with Triclops and even the missing Team Parent. This was Teen Wolf at its best acting since Dark Stiles of 3B.

Grade: B+  (A+ for first 10 minutes)

Episode Awards:

Best Reason to Watch - Dylan O'Brien

Best Scene - Stiles breaks down in the Jeep

Biggest Hero - Scott gets Kira out

Best Character Interaction - Stiles and Lydia

Most Missed - Team Parent

Least Missed - Liam and Mason

Most in Need of a Thesaurus - Psycho

The "Say What?" Award - the library has instant access anytime of night as long as you have a student ID card?  How does that make sense?

The "I Don't Think So" Award - No way Mama Fox lets Kira spend the night at Scott's

The BeeGees Award - Triclops' Dance Fever head bandage

Biggest Blech - Triclops' third eye is sucked out

Most Memorable Moment - Stiles looks in the rearview mirror and can't look at himself

Worst Trend - keeping secrets / blaming themselves for everything

Best Quotes - 

1.  Stiles:  "You are not going without me.  You remember what happened to Deaton when he talked to Valack?"  Lydia:  "Scott and Kira are going to be there."  Stiles:  "Okay, I'm not letting you go to a place where one of the orderlies almost killed you."  Lydia:  "He almost killed you too."  Stiles:  "And we're both still alive.  See.  Teamwork."

2.  Scott:  "I don't think the Dread Doctors are the ones who are stealing the bodies."  Kira:  "Are we really calling them that?"

3.Scott:  "I also think I might have stopped her from killing Lucas."  Stiles:  "Okay, wasn't he trying to kill you though?  I mean it sounds like self-defense."  Scott:  "It was more than that.  I mean she nearly took off his head."  Stiles:  "Maybe she had no choice.  There's got to be a point where self-defense is justified.  Tracey killed her own father and Lucas would have killed you."  Scott:  "They're not the bad guys.  They're the victims.  We shouldn't be killing the people we're trying to save."

4.  Theo:  "Haven't I seen you coming out of Drivers' Ed?"  Malia:  "I hope not."  Theo:  "I'm pretty sure I saw you destroy a couple traffic cones the other day and nearly take out a sophomore."  Malia:  "The sophomore shouldn't have been standing there."

5.  Kira:  "So if the chimeras are all failures, what's a success gonna be?"  Scott:  "Bad.  Probably really bad."

6.  Stiles:  "Malia's not going because she knows that that place is a nightmare asylum of insanity and death, okay?  Let's go."  

Screencaps by Really Late Reviews,  TV Equals, Televixen, Instagram, TV Line, Teen Wolf Brazil, Pinterest, and DrunkenThieves.

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted", Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

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